Latest / RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way / The Idea of The Shadow Self and Learning to Embrace It

Transcript

The Idea of The Shadow Self and Learning to Embrace It · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: Hi there and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way, whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: I just want to say thank you.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for taking some time out of your day to spend with me.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: Today we're going to be talking about this idea of the shadow self and learning how to embrace this quote-unquote darker side.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: So we all know that no one's perfect.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: No matter how kind, polite, friendly we are perceived by other people, we all do have parts of ourselves that we may not like or don't necessarily want to show to others.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: These undesirable aspects of ourselves are sometimes referred to as the shadow self.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: So once you learn to embrace your shadow self, you can actually emotionally grow and live, live into it and live towards a happier, more fulfilled life.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: So the term shadow self is actually used to describe those parts of ourself that we sometimes will find ourselves struggling to accept.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: They may include those undesirable personality traits that they might be painful and unwelcome emotions.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: They might even include some forbidden impulses or just negative thoughts in general.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: So, in other words, the shadow self is really about those parts of ourself that we don't really want to have to acknowledge or accept because they don't fit into this self-conception we have of ourselves.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes the shadow self is formed earlier on in life.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so then during our upbringing, we internalize beliefs of what thoughts and feelings and behaviors are acceptable and which ones are not.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: And so the parts that we deem are unacceptable, we then try to kind of shove away.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why we it's it's been called the shadow self because it's shoved kind of into the shadows.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: So shadow beliefs can subtly present themselves through maybe some of our limiting beliefs or our, you know, they can't even present themselves in our core core negative beliefs about ourselves.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so so in in terms of do they stay in the shadows?
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: Not really, they just kind of you know leak back in.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: So the process of bringing your shadow beliefs into the light and making peace with them, right?
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: Coming to this place of acknowledgement and acceptance, now then you're able to take aligned action to maybe grow from them or through them rather than allowing them to just kind of always be lurking in the shadows.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Carl Jung actually introduced this concept of shadow self into psychology.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: He believed that each person has these two parts, the persona, which is the part of ourselves that we present to the world, and then the shadow self, which is an archetype that constitutes part of our subconscious, um, the primitive side of our nature, composed of suppressed ideas, impulses, desires, and fears.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: So Jung felt that this or believed that this dark latent energy uh formed in early childhood during socialization when we learn to separate the good from the bad.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: So the new knowledge of good and evil causes a person to differentiate what's acceptable, the persona, from what society considers unacceptable, which is the shadow self, and trying to bury that deeper into the subconscious.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: So what happens is our suppressed unacceptable thoughts and feelings can become powerful at the same time, they can cause us to judge and reject ourselves.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: So Jung believed that acceptance of the shadow self and understanding that we are capable of having that side of us, which gives us a sense of humanity and fully accept ourselves, then um would allow us to also be able to accept ourselves on that whole.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: So he believed that the shadow was linked to creativity and accepting the shadow would could lead to emotional liberation, um, allowing you to think and accomplish things on a bit on a freer level.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: So, why is it important to know this other side?
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well, recognizing and integrating that side of ourselves into our experience does allow us to become more balanced and fully experience you know, this whatever our definition of happiness is.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: So it allows us to maybe even learn how to set boundaries and to just become more self-compassionate because we have a instead of running from pieces of ourselves, we come to this place of recognizing it, uh, acknowledging it and accepting it.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: And then when we're able to accept it, we can figure out what our needs are and be able to set boundaries around it.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: So for example, if we're thinking about anger and we think that that's part of our shadow self, when we become a when we become aware of it and we accept that it's an emotion here telling me telling us that we need that we have a need, when we recognize and name the need, now we're able to set some boundaries and find healthier ways to manage that so that we don't always find ourselves in that in that quote unquote angry state.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: So when we talk about the shadow self and why it's important not to suppress it, because like most emotions that are suppressed, I mean, they're eventually going to bubble up.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: And they influence what happens with the shadow self being suppressed, it does influence our our behaviors and our mindset in different ways.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: So being able to acknowledge it, we're able to grow through it and and from it.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's the same concept that I talk about when talking about just emotions in general.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's about recognizing that we are not our feelings.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: That's not our identity, it's a feeling we have.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: And the feelings and the emotions we have are here, they're in motion, they're they're they're meant to bring us some type of message of something that we need.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: So just being able to, when we're dealing with how to embrace the shadow self, it's about you know learning to recognize what triggers us through mindfulness, through being aware of the here and now, and rejecting and paying attention to when we are maybe trying to reject that piece of ourselves.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: And instead of rejecting it, notice it, make room for it, and then also make room for other other thoughts that we could have.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: Talking it out, not keeping it in the shadow, recognizing that you know we're not the only ones that have a shadow self is really important.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: And don't be afraid to ask yourself hard questions.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: You know, learning to challenge the thoughts, learning to challenge some of those things.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: Journaling is really helpful when when just wanting to learn about the shadow self and work through the shadow self.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not about really it, it's the truth is we have to learn to accept the pieces of ourselves because the whole being is who we are.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we can't always be these perfect happy beings.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's so it's interesting.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: I recently was talking to somebody and we were talking about just this desire.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: People will often say, I just want to be happy.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be happy.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: Well, happy is a feeling like many other feelings, right?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: It comes and goes.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when we're sitting in traffic or you know, we get into an argument with somebody, we're not happy in that moment.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's a it might be more about fulfillment, you know, trying to find a way to live a fulfilled life.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: And when we're striving for something like that, it's about self-acceptance and it's about recognizing that we're all those parts of ourselves.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: If you'd like to talk about this or anything else that might be something that is holding you back on your your growth or your trajectory forward, I'm always available.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: Feel free to reach out at any time.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: You can easily book a call with me at chatwithcomedy.com.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: And until next time, be healthy.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: Or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Username it's authenticme.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.