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The Bank Of Mum & Dad · She's On The Money

0:00
Speaker 1: Hello.
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Speaker 2: My name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud Yr the
0:05
Speaker 2: Order Kerney Whalbury and a waddery woman. And before we
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Speaker 2: get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would
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Speaker 2: like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of
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Speaker 2: which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging
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Speaker 2: the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through
0:23
Speaker 2: as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and
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Speaker 2: the storytelling of you to make a difference for today
0:31
Speaker 2: and lasting impact for tomorrow.
0:33
Speaker 1: Let's get into it.
0:34
Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
0:57
Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
1:00
Speaker 4: for millennials who want financial freedom today for a change.
1:03
Speaker 4: I'm joined by Victoria Divine A. Yeah, thank you so
1:09
Speaker 4: much for people, I mean, yeah, thank you so much
1:11
Speaker 4: for joining me.
1:12
Speaker 1: No worries, thanks for having me. What are we talking
1:15
Speaker 1: about today?
1:16
Speaker 4: There's a term we've been hearing a lot of lately
1:18
Speaker 4: in the media in everyday conversation. You guys have been
1:21
Speaker 4: messaging us. I think you know what I'm going to say, Yeah, inflation.
1:26
Speaker 4: It's not inflation. It is close kind of Not really,
1:30
Speaker 4: it's not even close. I can see what we're talking about.
1:32
Speaker 4: And you know what, that was a stab in the duck.
1:34
Speaker 4: What are we talking about today? Back today, we're talking
1:36
Speaker 4: about the bank of mum and dad.
1:38
Speaker 1: I would like a bank of mum and dad.
1:41
Speaker 4: It would be so nice.
1:42
Speaker 1: Did you grow up with a bank of mum and dad? God? No, neither,
1:45
Speaker 1: you know, no, no, no, no. I mean in a
1:47
Speaker 1: small way, potentially, yes, and we'll get into that. But
1:50
Speaker 1: I don't think I have a bank of mum and
1:52
Speaker 1: dad in the way that people are assuming a bank
1:55
Speaker 1: of mum and dad. I more have the financial security
1:59
Speaker 1: of knowing that if I was ever up, you know,
2:02
Speaker 1: sh one t Creek without a paddle, my parents would
2:05
Speaker 1: come and do absolutely everything that they could. But yeah, no,
2:09
Speaker 1: I don't have parents that are going to give me
2:11
Speaker 1: a house to shop at any time soon.
2:13
Speaker 4: Sure that is interesting. So there's like security of mom
2:16
Speaker 4: and dad.
2:16
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like there's lots of different levels,
2:18
Speaker 1: and we'll get into that today.
2:20
Speaker 4: Sure. I guess what we'll start with is what is
2:22
Speaker 4: the bank of mum Dad? What does it mean? Why
2:24
Speaker 4: is everyone talking about it? Yeah?
2:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, So, as I said, before. I think that
2:27
Speaker 1: there are a number of different levels of it, and
2:29
Speaker 1: we'll talk about that, but the bank of Mum and
2:31
Speaker 1: Dad is quite literally just getting money from your parents
2:34
Speaker 1: instead of the bank. And obviously then each individual arrangement
2:37
Speaker 1: is very different, but they can look like lots of things, right.
2:41
Speaker 1: They can look like having access to money from your
2:43
Speaker 1: parents if you get into an emergency or you're in
2:45
Speaker 1: a bit of a pickle. It could be having less
2:47
Speaker 1: financial anxiety because you aren't afraid to miss out on
2:50
Speaker 1: a shift at work because if you fall short, there's
2:51
Speaker 1: going to be some help there. You might be able
2:54
Speaker 1: to take on a really valuable unpaid internship, which is
2:56
Speaker 1: a different story because I don't think unpaid internships should exist. Yes,
3:00
Speaker 1: but you might have that privilege while at university because
3:03
Speaker 1: there's no pressure to support yourself one hundred percent by working. Obviously,
3:08
Speaker 1: other specific support could also look like having an allowance
3:10
Speaker 1: from your parents or rent, or having your bills or
3:13
Speaker 1: your car or any other type of expenses paid for.
3:16
Speaker 1: It could be literally anything. It could be your parents
3:18
Speaker 1: gift a new money for a house deposit, or paying
3:21
Speaker 1: for holidays, or I went to university with people where
3:24
Speaker 1: their parents paid all their rent and all their bills
3:26
Speaker 1: until they graduated, and then they started paying for things
3:28
Speaker 1: if they got a job. Mustiness in Mumba Na's. It's
3:32
Speaker 1: one of those things that everybody's individual circumstances are really different.
3:36
Speaker 1: And I'm quite ambivalent about it, Like I don't actually
3:39
Speaker 1: care if you have a bank of mum and dad
3:41
Speaker 1: or not, but I think if you have that, we
3:44
Speaker 1: should be acknowledging that privilege and we should be talking
3:46
Speaker 1: about it. Because we keep throwing this term of the
3:49
Speaker 1: bank of mum and Dad around as though it's a
3:51
Speaker 1: really big thing. It's because it actually is, and we're
3:54
Speaker 1: going to talk about it. So when it comes to
3:56
Speaker 1: property ownership, we hear that term a lot, especially in
3:59
Speaker 1: the media because I feel like you saw that article
4:02
Speaker 1: the other day where the like dad in Sydney got
4:04
Speaker 1: frustrated that his kid couldn't get accepted for a rental
4:07
Speaker 1: so he bought him like a three million dollar house.
4:09
Speaker 4: To see that that is not real.
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Speaker 1: I thought that was a Bituda advocate title yessnews dot
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Speaker 1: com and I was like, oh, okay, that's legit happening.
4:19
Speaker 1: It's just so far from my reality that I just
4:21
Speaker 1: thought it was a joke, but it could look like
4:23
Speaker 1: a lot of different things. Obviously your parents buying house
4:26
Speaker 1: for you, all the way through to things like being
4:28
Speaker 1: a garran Taur where there's not actually an exchange of money,
4:31
Speaker 1: but your parents have assets that you can then rely
4:34
Speaker 1: on to get yourself ahead in life. It's not always
4:37
Speaker 1: a straight line of Mum and Dad have money and
4:40
Speaker 1: they gave it to you. Mum and Dad might not
4:42
Speaker 1: actually have cash, but they have assets that you can
4:44
Speaker 1: then rely on, so there's a lot to it.
4:47
Speaker 4: God, they must be so nice, Emma benadh my gosh.
4:51
Speaker 4: The reality is that for many people the bank of
4:54
Speaker 4: mum and dad or bomad.
4:56
Speaker 1: You've just come up with that bomad.
4:58
Speaker 4: Do you want to Can we call it that?
4:59
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's good bomad.
5:00
Speaker 4: It saves like a nanosecond, so you know, yeah, that's
5:04
Speaker 4: actually really efficient.
5:05
Speaker 1: This conversation has not been ralroaded at all but introduction. Yeah, bomad.
5:09
Speaker 4: But no, the reality is that a lot of people
5:11
Speaker 4: don't have access to bomad. No, but let's talk about
5:14
Speaker 4: some of the practical and mental health realities of.
5:17
Speaker 1: This totally, and it can present in a number of
5:20
Speaker 1: different ways. So children who don't rely on the bank
5:22
Speaker 1: of mom and dad often have to prioritize work over
5:25
Speaker 1: other things such as social outings and I feel like
5:27
Speaker 1: you've probably got some really good experiences here back to
5:30
Speaker 1: share a little bit later. But they might also have
5:32
Speaker 1: to prioritize a solid paycheck over a learning opportunity that
5:36
Speaker 1: might put them into further debt, like they might have
5:38
Speaker 1: to take out some more hex loans and that might
5:40
Speaker 1: increase their prospects later on, but they don't actually have
5:43
Speaker 1: that opportunity. They might feel really guilty if they do
5:47
Speaker 1: need to ask for money or feel as though they're
5:48
Speaker 1: in debt for asking their parents for help. And it's
5:52
Speaker 1: obviously tough too for parents who are willing to help
5:55
Speaker 1: then can't. And I think that needs to be addressed too,
5:57
Speaker 1: because I think a lot of people put pressure on
6:00
Speaker 1: themselves if their parents and feel really awful that they
6:02
Speaker 1: can't then be that bank of mom and dad, like
6:05
Speaker 1: maybe their friends can be to their children. And I
6:08
Speaker 1: just I don't think that's a judgment that anybody should
6:10
Speaker 1: carry on themselves, Like it is what it is, and
6:13
Speaker 1: you shouldn't feel bad about it. At the end of
6:15
Speaker 1: the day, kids need love and that is it, but
6:18
Speaker 1: they will often feel guilty if their child struggling and
6:21
Speaker 1: they just don't have the opportunity to help, which would
6:23
Speaker 1: make anyone feel bad, right like you just want to
6:25
Speaker 1: swoop in and look after people.
6:27
Speaker 4: I know that would actually be really tough. I know
6:28
Speaker 4: that my mom struggled without a fair bit growing up.
6:31
Speaker 4: I kind of had to pay rent very early on,
6:33
Speaker 4: which is like, no, you know, not a big deal.
6:35
Speaker 4: But I ended up kind of being in this vicious
6:38
Speaker 4: cycle of having to pay my way to live very young,
6:42
Speaker 4: not being able to go out and study instead of work.
6:46
Speaker 4: So I tried to balance both from a young age,
6:48
Speaker 4: ended up just immediately in the workforce. Still to this day,
6:51
Speaker 4: I kind of, you know, I don't have any qualifications.
6:53
Speaker 4: I never really had time to had to work full
6:56
Speaker 4: time immediately, and I feel like that's something a lot
6:58
Speaker 4: of people can relate to. But here I am, and
7:01
Speaker 4: I'm happy about it. I feel like it, you know,
7:03
Speaker 4: it makes us all strong, resilient people having to kind
7:07
Speaker 4: of find your own way financially. Hope that doesn't sound
7:09
Speaker 4: silly proud, but.
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Speaker 1: I don't think it sounds silly at all. I feel
7:12
Speaker 1: like there's a level of independence that comes from you
7:14
Speaker 1: as well, that a lot of people would be envyous off,
7:17
Speaker 1: like you're so easy to just go oh, I want
7:20
Speaker 1: to do this or I want to do that. And
7:21
Speaker 1: I think another thing that a lot of people, you know,
7:25
Speaker 1: listening to this are going to go, oh, yeah, I
7:26
Speaker 1: have bank of mom and dad, but there's a lot
7:29
Speaker 1: of guild associated with it, or it could actually transpire
7:32
Speaker 1: into financial control or you know, you feel like you
7:35
Speaker 1: owe your parents for that. And I know that a
7:38
Speaker 1: lot of this sounds airy fairy. I'm like, oh, mom
7:40
Speaker 1: and Dad just gave you some money, but that could
7:42
Speaker 1: actually be a motion of control. And we've seen that
7:44
Speaker 1: in our community before, where parents are like, well, I
7:47
Speaker 1: give you money, and I give you this life, and
7:50
Speaker 1: I have made you and I've done this, and you
7:52
Speaker 1: need to do these things for me. So it actually
7:54
Speaker 1: isn't always a good thing. We just want to talk
7:57
Speaker 1: about it a little bit more holistically and I think,
8:00
Speaker 1: you know, cast a little bit more light on it
8:03
Speaker 1: because I feel like if you have access to the
8:05
Speaker 1: bank of mum and Dad, you don't usually talk about it.
8:08
Speaker 1: But it's been really large, Yeah, like in Australia it's massive.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, absolutely That actually brings me to my next point.
8:14
Speaker 4: How common is it in Australia?
8:16
Speaker 1: So BOMAD, the Bank of Mum and Dad was actually
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Speaker 1: in twenty twenty one the ninth largest Australian lender. Why
8:24
Speaker 1: isn't that wild? And we know that the top four
8:27
Speaker 1: banks obviously take out the first four positions, but the
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Speaker 1: Bank of Mum and Dad dished out get this, thirty
8:33
Speaker 1: four billion dollars in loans throughout the year, according to
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Speaker 1: an analysis by the Research of Digital Finance Analytics or DFA.
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Speaker 1: Isn't that wild?
8:43
Speaker 4: That is so outrageous.
8:45
Speaker 1: But I was also talking to the team about this
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Speaker 1: and like, a couple of people on our team do
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Speaker 1: have parents that you know have lent them money historically?
8:52
Speaker 1: And I was like, how did they measure that? And
8:54
Speaker 1: then I asked one of our team members, I was like,
8:56
Speaker 1: did your parents, like would your parents ever like you know,
9:00
Speaker 1: were survey on that. No, So, like, thirty four billion
9:03
Speaker 1: dollars is massive, But that's what they tracked, not what's
9:06
Speaker 1: going in and out or the financial security that these
9:09
Speaker 1: parents are providing. And thirty four billion dollars is more
9:13
Speaker 1: than what actual lenders like the Bank of Queensland HSBC AMP,
9:19
Speaker 1: the Heritage Bank, Beyond Bank and the Greater Bank actually
9:23
Speaker 1: currently have in outstanding loans. What those are big banks?
9:29
Speaker 2: Yeah.
9:29
Speaker 1: And it also found that sixty percent of first time
9:33
Speaker 1: home buyers are getting financial help from their parents, with
9:37
Speaker 1: parents contributing an average of ninety two thousand dollars in
9:41
Speaker 1: twenty twenty one, which is enough for a twenty percent
9:44
Speaker 1: deposit in most parts of Australia. Wow, that's a lot
9:48
Speaker 1: of money.
9:48
Speaker 4: It's a lot of money.
9:49
Speaker 1: It is so much money.
9:50
Speaker 4: Yeah, I am curious about how they tracked that, contracked
9:52
Speaker 4: that shared spreadsheet that only rich parents use.
9:56
Speaker 1: Do you know how much money mum and dad were
9:58
Speaker 1: looking after me with at Union, like when I was like, hell,
10:00
Speaker 1: I need money for grocer. Like, they're not tracking that stuff.
10:04
Speaker 1: It's just the official stuff. Yeah, like that maybe the
10:07
Speaker 1: property stuff, but obviously so much more. Only get what
10:09
Speaker 1: you get when you look at analysis than they give
10:11
Speaker 1: you absolutely everything. But it's one of those things and
10:14
Speaker 1: I was like, it has to be more than that.
10:16
Speaker 4: It has to be has to be. Well, it seems
10:19
Speaker 4: like it is such a big thing, So why are
10:20
Speaker 4: we just hearing about it more lately?
10:22
Speaker 1: Because the world's getting more expensive. Beck the world is
10:26
Speaker 1: getting more expensive. We're talking about the rising cost of living.
10:29
Speaker 1: We're talking about I feel like during periods of rising
10:33
Speaker 1: cost of living, which this isn't the first time the
10:35
Speaker 1: cost of living has increased. We have been through ebbs
10:38
Speaker 1: and flows and recessions before. But during that period of time,
10:42
Speaker 1: people are more likely to want to point out privilege,
10:46
Speaker 1: and this is a very good way of doing it.
10:47
Speaker 1: Talking about the bank of Mum and Dad is often
10:51
Speaker 1: not just a pragmatic thing of us being like, Wow,
10:54
Speaker 1: here's how people get into their first homes, here's how
10:57
Speaker 1: people finance their lives. As you can tell from the
11:00
Speaker 1: way the media is talking about it, there's a sense
11:02
Speaker 1: of entitlement, like oh, well, the bank of Mum and
11:05
Speaker 1: Dad will cover that, and like I don't think I've
11:07
Speaker 1: ever used personally, and this is probably not a good thing,
11:10
Speaker 1: but I've never used the term bank of mum and
11:12
Speaker 1: Dad as a flippant term. It's always been like, oh, well,
11:15
Speaker 1: it might have been coming from the bank of Mum
11:17
Speaker 1: and Dad if there was a question around, Oh, I
11:19
Speaker 1: wonder how that person got into that one point two
11:22
Speaker 1: million dollar house. I didn't realize they were saving a
11:24
Speaker 1: deposit kind of vibes. So I feel like there's a
11:27
Speaker 1: lot of judgment and it usually comes during times of stress.
11:30
Speaker 1: And obviously the property market is absolutely booming, and home
11:34
Speaker 1: prizes push ownership further out of reach for first home buyers.
11:37
Speaker 1: So we start going, well, how on earth up these
11:39
Speaker 1: other people who I thought were in the same position
11:42
Speaker 1: as me getting into that property, and I think we
11:44
Speaker 1: just start talking about it more.
11:46
Speaker 4: It's not a new or novel concept, right, that makes sense.
11:49
Speaker 4: That makes sense, and I guess it kind of makes
11:51
Speaker 4: people feel better, like if you can't get to yourself,
11:53
Speaker 4: don't worry. Maybe some people have a bit of a helpy.
11:56
Speaker 1: Heck, yeah exactly. And I feel like it makes us
11:58
Speaker 1: genuinely feel better to know, Okay, it's not just me struggling.
12:02
Speaker 1: Everyone's struggling, but if they're doing well, I don't know.
12:05
Speaker 1: It's an interesting concept and I had I was actually
12:08
Speaker 1: doing a presentation yesterday. I do a lot of speaking engagements.
12:11
Speaker 1: When I was at one and we were talking about
12:13
Speaker 1: tall poppy syndrome. Someone asks like, you know, how do
12:16
Speaker 1: you deal with that? What does that mean? How does
12:17
Speaker 1: that work? And I said, it's interesting because the more
12:21
Speaker 1: successful you get. And I guess this really ties into
12:23
Speaker 1: the bank of mum and dad. People want to really
12:27
Speaker 1: support you when you're the same as them, we're on
12:30
Speaker 1: exactly the same page. But I find the more successful
12:34
Speaker 1: you get, the less people want to see you be
12:37
Speaker 1: successful because others. And this is such an Australian thing,
12:40
Speaker 1: and I find it really gross. People want to see
12:43
Speaker 1: you do well, but they don't want to see you
12:45
Speaker 1: do better than them, and I find that's so gross.
12:48
Speaker 1: And that plays into this tall poppy Australia thing. And
12:51
Speaker 1: I feel like this is where the mum and dad
12:53
Speaker 1: thing comes in, where you go, I want to see
12:55
Speaker 1: you do really well, Beck, But then if your parents
12:58
Speaker 1: went and bought you a house, I don't want to
13:00
Speaker 1: see that. That's rude, that's entitled, you know, cut you
13:03
Speaker 1: down for that. I just think that's not the way
13:06
Speaker 1: that she's on the money community acts like. I don't
13:08
Speaker 1: think any of us feel that. We know we're not
13:09
Speaker 1: like that. Oh, but it's an interesting concept that I
13:13
Speaker 1: think in Australia we talk a lot more about the
13:15
Speaker 1: bank of mum and Dad than they would internationally, because internationally,
13:18
Speaker 1: cultures are different. Internationally, there are a lot of different
13:22
Speaker 1: cultures where it's actually expected your parents move in with you,
13:25
Speaker 1: it's actually expected that you provide for your Like, there
13:28
Speaker 1: are just so many different ways of approaching money. But
13:31
Speaker 1: I genuinely feel like people want to see you do well,
13:34
Speaker 1: but they don't want to see you do better than them.
13:35
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah yeah, or at least if you do well,
13:38
Speaker 4: people kind of want to see you struggle to get that.
13:40
Speaker 1: It's so frustrating, and it happens in every aspect of life,
13:44
Speaker 1: right whether you are at UNI, people really want you
13:47
Speaker 1: to do well, but then if you go get a
13:49
Speaker 1: better job than them, they're not that impressed by it all.
13:51
Speaker 1: They feel like that's some type of personal attack, you know,
13:55
Speaker 1: even with She's on the money, Like you see some
13:57
Speaker 1: people wanting us to do really well when we were
14:00
Speaker 1: tiny and struggling, and I couldn't favor episodes to be
14:03
Speaker 1: edited to now they're like, oh they're terrible. Rah ah,
14:06
Speaker 1: they're so commercial. It's like, no, we're the same people
14:09
Speaker 1: doing the same things, and we're just passionate about it.
14:11
Speaker 1: So it's an interesting concept, and I think the Australian
14:14
Speaker 1: tall poppy syndrome really plays into why maybe we are
14:18
Speaker 1: talking so much today about the Bank of Mum and Dad,
14:21
Speaker 1: and the media gets on it so much because the
14:23
Speaker 1: Australian media in particular, I think, really love a good
14:26
Speaker 1: tall poppy syndrome story, classic, classic.
14:30
Speaker 4: And we were just saying, like, you know, in different
14:31
Speaker 4: cultures and stuff, the I suppose like the dynamics, so
14:35
Speaker 4: just dynamics a little different. Do you feel like this
14:37
Speaker 4: would maybe be a thing for you know, in Britain
14:40
Speaker 4: for example, like in England or Yeah, so in England
14:43
Speaker 4: there is a from my understanding, a tall poppy syndrome
14:46
Speaker 4: thing going on too, But in America it's not that prevalent.
14:50
Speaker 4: It's just the you know, the land of the Great,
14:52
Speaker 4: Land of the Free. Everyone wants to do well. It's
14:54
Speaker 4: an interesting concept. I don't think it's international. But I
14:58
Speaker 4: think also like if you looked up the Bank of
15:00
Speaker 4: Mum and Dad and wanted to see what type of
15:02
Speaker 4: American media there is around that, I really don't think
15:04
Speaker 4: that there is much. It's a very Australian term. So interesting.
15:09
Speaker 1: I think it's a judgmental term too.
15:11
Speaker 4: Oh.
15:11
Speaker 1: I genuinely feel like it's quite judgmental, Like as I
15:14
Speaker 1: said before, like it's not coming from a place of love.
15:16
Speaker 1: It's coming from a place of us trying to give
15:21
Speaker 1: reason to why that person might be doing well right,
15:24
Speaker 1: because like the bank of mum and dad, that term
15:26
Speaker 1: there's a real sick got a real stigma to it, right,
15:29
Speaker 1: And they're doing that on purpose, not like, oh, she
15:32
Speaker 1: bought her first home. That's so beautiful. Yeah, her mum
15:35
Speaker 1: and dad were so supportive, Like, oh, I'm so proud
15:38
Speaker 1: of her and her parents worked really hard and they
15:40
Speaker 1: must be so proud to see her get into for
15:42
Speaker 1: her first home, like they've worked hard all their lives.
15:45
Speaker 1: How good is it that they can see their child,
15:47
Speaker 1: you know, being really successful too. That's not how we talk,
15:50
Speaker 1: is it. And beck I guess to take it a
15:53
Speaker 1: step further, we're not going, oh my gosh, that family
15:56
Speaker 1: is so smart. They've created this beautiful intergenerationational wealth. You know,
16:01
Speaker 1: they're buying properties and really supporting their children, but they're
16:04
Speaker 1: not relying on commercial entities to do that. They're just
16:07
Speaker 1: being self sufficient. Isn't that sexy? No one's saying that.
16:11
Speaker 1: They're saying it's entitled and intergenerational wealth is ekey and disgusting,
16:15
Speaker 1: and you know, someone would have been compromised along that process, Like,
16:19
Speaker 1: I just think it's so interesting because having come from
16:23
Speaker 1: a space where I worked with intergenerational wealth. So my
16:27
Speaker 1: experience historically as a financial advisor before starting She's on
16:31
Speaker 1: the money and before you know, actually getting to work
16:33
Speaker 1: on my passion project was working with multimillion dollar families
16:37
Speaker 1: and even billion dollar families and talking about family constitutions
16:41
Speaker 1: and how they would lend money to children to buy
16:45
Speaker 1: their properties or start their businesses. And it's really interesting
16:49
Speaker 1: seeing that dynamic because you get to sit in these
16:52
Speaker 1: meetings and I had no like I felt like a
16:54
Speaker 1: fly on the wall because that was so not my experience.
16:58
Speaker 1: Like if I needed to borrow fifty bucks from dad,
17:00
Speaker 1: I felt a bit sick asking. And I'm not saying
17:02
Speaker 1: Mum and Dad didn't do well. I just that was
17:05
Speaker 1: never something that made me feel good. Whereas these families
17:08
Speaker 1: are talking about, okay, cool, my son is bringing me
17:11
Speaker 1: a business plan in a couple of weeks and he
17:13
Speaker 1: wants to start this brewery and it's going to cost
17:15
Speaker 1: five million dollars and I think that's a good investment.
17:18
Speaker 1: I'm like, far out there are families having conversations like that,
17:22
Speaker 1: and again no judgment, like how cool is it that
17:25
Speaker 1: they can be self sufficient and create this life that
17:28
Speaker 1: they want to create. Like imagine just waking up being like,
17:32
Speaker 1: you know what, start a brewery. I'll just ask Dad,
17:35
Speaker 1: what what I know?
17:37
Speaker 4: I know?
17:38
Speaker 5: Do you know what?
17:38
Speaker 1: I've always wanted to own a cafe?
17:41
Speaker 6: How about I just own a cafe? How about I
17:44
Speaker 6: just start a series of them? Because we've got the
17:46
Speaker 6: funding to do that. It's interesting as well, and I
17:49
Speaker 6: mean to go in another tangent. It's one of those
17:51
Speaker 6: things where I have always said from that experience that
17:55
Speaker 6: there are two really big differences between the wealthy and
17:58
Speaker 6: the not wealthy, and that's the wealthy have the ability
18:01
Speaker 6: to seize an opportunity. So you know, if they saw
18:04
Speaker 6: something for sale that would create more wealth, they have
18:07
Speaker 6: the ability to seize it. But you or I might
18:09
Speaker 6: sit down it might be a cafe, And I think
18:10
Speaker 6: that's a good example. You and I sit down and go, oh, well,
18:14
Speaker 6: that cafe is for sale far out it would be
18:16
Speaker 6: a goodbye. That cafe earns so much money. We do
18:20
Speaker 6: not have the opportunity to seize that. But then also
18:23
Speaker 6: the networking connections, you and I would never know that
18:26
Speaker 6: that cafe was for sale to begin with. So it's
18:30
Speaker 6: for me the ability to seize an opportunity and the
18:33
Speaker 6: people that you were surrounded by is often what, from
18:36
Speaker 6: my experience, differentiates the ultra high net wealth from even
18:40
Speaker 6: just the wealthy. And when you and I talk about wealthy,
18:43
Speaker 6: I'm saying, you know, you might become financially independent, you
18:46
Speaker 6: might have an investment portfolio that pays you an income.
18:49
Speaker 6: There's actually an entirely other.
18:51
Speaker 1: Level to that, and it's so interesting to learn more
18:54
Speaker 1: about it, right, Yeah, And the cafe example, I think
18:57
Speaker 1: is a very diluted down version of that. But you
19:00
Speaker 1: and I would never hear about the cafe because we're
19:02
Speaker 1: not the type of people that are in those circles
19:04
Speaker 1: to have those conversations. And even if we were, we'd
19:07
Speaker 1: be like, I don't know why I'm here because I
19:09
Speaker 1: can't afford to play here. But let's go back to
19:11
Speaker 1: the bank of Mum and Dad. But I think that's
19:13
Speaker 1: an interesting, I guess addition on what wealth looks like.
19:17
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a really really good way to look at it.
19:19
Speaker 4: And it's it's so true. Like I remember I was
19:21
Speaker 4: thinking the other day, like, why you know, right now
19:24
Speaker 4: we are trying to become financially free, and maybe if
19:26
Speaker 4: we have children one day, we would like to pass
19:30
Speaker 4: not money straight onto them, but the knowledge on you know,
19:33
Speaker 4: how to better yourself and be you know, financially free
19:36
Speaker 4: and all this kind of thing. That's what I'm going
19:39
Speaker 4: to use this term very loosely. NEPO baby's parents done,
19:44
Speaker 4: not parents done.
19:46
Speaker 1: It's't that T shirt that says NEPO baby. I'm not
19:48
Speaker 1: on NEPO. I just feel like it might be nice
19:51
Speaker 1: to wear that T shirt.
19:52
Speaker 4: I feel like I'm saying it was the word wrong too, NEPO.
19:55
Speaker 1: I don't know you no, I know what you mean
19:58
Speaker 1: in nepotism.
19:59
Speaker 4: And their parents wanted that for them, and they worked
20:02
Speaker 4: hard for that, and like, why has it got such
20:04
Speaker 4: a stigma? Why is it such a negative term, Like
20:06
Speaker 4: someone somewhere worked very hard for this.
20:08
Speaker 1: One hundred percent, and I think that their stigma actually,
20:11
Speaker 1: you know, breaking this down and having this conversation now,
20:14
Speaker 1: I think it actually comes from this concept of hard work.
20:18
Speaker 1: Your mum worked hard, Yeah, Like she probably worked harder
20:21
Speaker 1: than the average bear to put food on the table
20:23
Speaker 1: and look after you and like provide for you. So
20:26
Speaker 1: it's not actually that somebody worked really hard, because everybody
20:30
Speaker 1: works really hard. Like, and I've said it before, you
20:33
Speaker 1: cannot budget your way out of poverty. It's about education,
20:37
Speaker 1: It's about understanding, it's about access to resources. It's about
20:41
Speaker 1: you know, being educated to even know that you need
20:45
Speaker 1: to be educated to get to that next level. So
20:48
Speaker 1: I think when we say, oh, someone worked really hard,
20:51
Speaker 1: like taking it back, your mum worked really hard, and
20:55
Speaker 1: so did that person who has a ten million dollar business.
20:58
Speaker 1: But I guarantee you that person who has that ten
21:00
Speaker 1: million dollar business might have had access to different resources
21:04
Speaker 1: and different information and different ways of working. Because you know,
21:09
Speaker 1: you just don't know what you don't know. And it's
21:11
Speaker 1: not just oh, hey, here's this concept of compound interest
21:15
Speaker 1: and here's what superanuation is, and here's why you should
21:17
Speaker 1: be saving. It's not that it's access to opportunity. It's
21:20
Speaker 1: access to those things that you know. Your mum didn't
21:24
Speaker 1: have that. No one sat her down and said, hey,
21:25
Speaker 1: did you know that if you did this, this and
21:27
Speaker 1: this and this, like your entire situation would change. But
21:30
Speaker 1: what she did was work her butt off. So now
21:34
Speaker 1: you're in the position to learn that. And that's beautiful,
21:37
Speaker 1: and that's amazing, But I think that the judgment comes
21:40
Speaker 1: from people blaming it on hard work and then being like, no,
21:43
Speaker 1: but I work hard too, you do, you absolutely do.
21:47
Speaker 1: So I don't think we can say, oh, someone worked
21:50
Speaker 1: really hard for that. I think that's really good, but
21:53
Speaker 1: it really distills down the reality of the situation they did.
21:58
Speaker 1: But there's a lot of privilege there as well. Well,
22:00
Speaker 1: what opportunities did they have? What opportunities did they see
22:03
Speaker 1: that they knew to seize, Because there are opportunities that
22:06
Speaker 1: literally pass us every single day that we just don't
22:10
Speaker 1: see because we don't know that's an opportunity.
22:11
Speaker 4: Wow, I never even thought about like that.
22:13
Speaker 1: You can goose They just pass us by every day
22:17
Speaker 1: and you have absolutely no idea. So when someone invents something,
22:21
Speaker 1: you're like, oh my gosh, I've literally struggled.
22:22
Speaker 4: With that issue for ages.
22:24
Speaker 1: That opportunity to invent that existed before they thought about it.
22:29
Speaker 1: But they thought about it. What was their education? Where
22:32
Speaker 1: did that come from? It's even about thought processes, right,
22:35
Speaker 1: it's even you know, going back to an episode we
22:37
Speaker 1: did earlier this year, mindset being more optimistic instead of pessimistic,
22:42
Speaker 1: having a mind frame of abundance, literally changes the way
22:46
Speaker 1: that you see opportunities. So it's one of those things that, yeah,
22:50
Speaker 1: let's get back on track. But I think that that's
22:52
Speaker 1: worth calling out because it's not just hard work. Yeah, perfect, Ye,
22:55
Speaker 1: I feel like we need to really absorb everything. How
22:58
Speaker 1: about we go for a really quick break a cup
23:00
Speaker 1: of tea after that.
23:01
Speaker 4: I think a cup might be nice.
23:02
Speaker 1: Yeah, do that.
23:08
Speaker 4: Welcome back? Was it nice?
23:10
Speaker 2: No?
23:10
Speaker 1: I didn't get a tea.
23:12
Speaker 4: I'm going to get right to that.
23:13
Speaker 1: I don't want to ruin the magic for people. But
23:16
Speaker 1: it was a fake break for us when we're recording. Yeah,
23:19
Speaker 1: like we say brain true and then they put the
23:21
Speaker 1: ad in so that I can pay you and I
23:24
Speaker 1: can pay the rest of the team. But yeah, I
23:26
Speaker 1: sat here for three seconds and then we started recording again.
23:30
Speaker 4: Wow, everyone's our secret now.
23:31
Speaker 1: But after this episode is recorded, I will be getting
23:34
Speaker 1: a cup of in between we're recording another episode.
23:37
Speaker 4: So I hope you get that tea.
23:38
Speaker 1: Eventually I'll get you a tea too. I'm really good
23:40
Speaker 1: at tea.
23:42
Speaker 4: Were talking about the Bank of Mum and Dad. We
23:44
Speaker 4: are so mad. You're talking about like the undercurrents and
23:46
Speaker 4: how it's kind of like secretly you know. Yeah, it's
23:49
Speaker 4: not just hard work. It's not just hard work. Yeah,
23:52
Speaker 4: there are many aspects and elements to this, So I'd
23:54
Speaker 4: imagine that the true nature and the impact of bank
23:57
Speaker 4: of Mum and Dad would be hard to measure though.
23:59
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why I was talking about that stat earlier
24:01
Speaker 1: when we said that Bomad had dished out what was
24:03
Speaker 1: at thirty four billion dollars. But how do you measure that? Like,
24:06
Speaker 1: there are so many families that would not talk about that, right, Like,
24:11
Speaker 1: and to go back to my wealth days and when
24:13
Speaker 1: I used to work, we worked with this client and
24:15
Speaker 1: he was really beautiful and like he was just one
24:18
Speaker 1: of the kindest human beings in the entire world. Had
24:20
Speaker 1: six kids. That's not actually true, he didn't have six,
24:23
Speaker 1: But I don't want you to be able to pinpoint
24:24
Speaker 1: this individual, so trying to change it. But he had
24:28
Speaker 1: a lot of kids, right, And he spent most of
24:31
Speaker 1: his time not in Australia because he had international companies
24:34
Speaker 1: that he ran, had you know, family here. His family
24:38
Speaker 1: didn't know that he was a billionaire. So we ran
24:41
Speaker 1: his family wealth division. We talked about, you know, what
24:45
Speaker 1: he wanted from his wealth, what he wanted through his kids.
24:48
Speaker 1: His kids obviously knew that Dad did well. He did
24:50
Speaker 1: all of these things, but Dad also owned a whole
24:52
Speaker 1: heap of companies and really like parts of really big
24:55
Speaker 1: companies that if I talked to you about them, you'd
24:58
Speaker 1: be like, I know that, I know this, that makes sense? Yeah, wow,
25:01
Speaker 1: far out that is big dog stuff. His kids didn't
25:04
Speaker 1: know that. And it got to a point where his
25:07
Speaker 1: kids were at university and a few of them were,
25:10
Speaker 1: you know, at that stage where they were talking about
25:12
Speaker 1: what their jobs would be next, and he kind of
25:15
Speaker 1: had realized he wanted to extend the opportunity for his
25:18
Speaker 1: kids to potentially either run some of those businesses or
25:22
Speaker 1: be involved in those businesses because they were kind of
25:24
Speaker 1: family businesses and epic opportunities. But how do you bring
25:27
Speaker 1: that up? How do you go, Hey, so I've been
25:29
Speaker 1: trying to keep you humble for a little while, and
25:32
Speaker 1: actually we're billionaires. Yeah, so if you don't want to work,
25:36
Speaker 1: you don't actually have to. I just really wanted to
25:39
Speaker 1: teach you to be humble and self sufficient. That's actually
25:42
Speaker 1: a conversation that ended up happening. Wow, where you know
25:45
Speaker 1: they knew Mum and Dad were doing very well. Like,
25:47
Speaker 1: I mean, you don't accidentally own as many homes as
25:49
Speaker 1: they do, and you don't accidentally go to the best
25:51
Speaker 1: schools in the country and all of that other stuff.
25:53
Speaker 1: So they knew that they were privileged, but I don't
25:56
Speaker 1: think they knew to the extent. But what I do
25:58
Speaker 1: know for sure is that person never ever, ever, would
26:01
Speaker 1: have ever consented to doing a survey about wealth and
26:05
Speaker 1: how much that they had or how much that they shared. Yeah,
26:08
Speaker 1: absolutely not.
26:09
Speaker 4: Yeah, that makes sense. Also, I think you've narrowed it down.
26:11
Speaker 4: I know exactly who took him.
26:12
Speaker 1: Yeah, good good.
26:13
Speaker 4: I don't I don't know.
26:14
Speaker 1: It wasn't even a male. It sucks to me.
26:17
Speaker 4: My gosh, that was the internal misogyny in me.
26:20
Speaker 1: I said he, I said hey, I said, hey.
26:22
Speaker 4: Oh good, Okay, wasn't the internals and such any then?
26:25
Speaker 1: But did I just make that pot?
26:26
Speaker 4: Oh gosh, wow, this is a You're right, you're right.
26:30
Speaker 1: Let's get back on track, because you're right. The true
26:33
Speaker 1: nature an impact of bloomad I just don't believe can
26:36
Speaker 1: be measured because in those circumstances, especially in high net
26:40
Speaker 1: wealthare lists, they're not going to share it. It's interesting
26:42
Speaker 1: because you see those lists come out on Forbes, like
26:45
Speaker 1: the Forbes Rich List, which side note, I got a
26:48
Speaker 1: message from a family member ages ago when I made
26:52
Speaker 1: the Forbes thirty under thirty, and that was thank you.
26:55
Speaker 1: It was twenty twenty one and it was like the
26:56
Speaker 1: highlight of my entire life. But they didn't know the
27:00
Speaker 1: difference between Forbes thirty under thirty, which is like, you know,
27:03
Speaker 1: people crushing it in their careers, not necessarily rich, and
27:06
Speaker 1: the Forbes Rich List. And they thought that I'd made
27:08
Speaker 1: the Rich List, and I was like, no, but thank
27:11
Speaker 1: you for assuming and believing that maybe I could have.
27:14
Speaker 4: It's like the opposite of that conversation of telling someone
27:17
Speaker 4: you've been secretly rich. Now you tell your family I'm
27:19
Speaker 4: actually secretly poor.
27:20
Speaker 1: But the Forbes Rich List, right like lists the richest
27:23
Speaker 1: people in the world. And I remember seeing the Australian
27:26
Speaker 1: Forbes Rich List and going through it and being like, Coop,
27:30
Speaker 1: I've got clients richer than them. Coop got clients like
27:32
Speaker 1: met people richer than them.
27:34
Speaker 4: That's what's visible.
27:36
Speaker 1: That's when people are very happy to share their net wealth,
27:39
Speaker 1: or their net wealth is so obvious that you know
27:42
Speaker 1: you could work out, okay, they own this big listed
27:45
Speaker 1: company that's worth X. Therefore they're probably worth a minimum
27:48
Speaker 1: of ten million dollars. And plus, oh we know that
27:51
Speaker 1: they have you know, family beach house, importsy we know
27:54
Speaker 1: we can just google that that's worth seven million dollars.
27:56
Speaker 1: Like do you know what I mean? So some people's
27:58
Speaker 1: wealth is really and you can put them on a
28:01
Speaker 1: rich list and we can talk about the richest man
28:03
Speaker 1: in Australia and you don't actually know who the richest
28:06
Speaker 1: man in Australia is because wealth can be very secretive
28:09
Speaker 1: and with the right structures, you will not find it,
28:12
Speaker 1: like you will not be able to see who's worth
28:15
Speaker 1: what and when and where? Insane, right, But when you
28:18
Speaker 1: start talking about stuff like that, you're like, wait, I
28:20
Speaker 1: thought that was the rich list and it is what
28:21
Speaker 1: it is. No, that's not how it works.
28:23
Speaker 4: Wowow, well a lot of modest people out there, one.
28:26
Speaker 1: Hundred percent, And that's why we can never judge anybody.
28:29
Speaker 4: No, and you shouldn't. I guess we kind of you
28:31
Speaker 4: just kind of went over this. But do you know
28:33
Speaker 4: if there are any studies or metrics available for how
28:36
Speaker 4: it kind of impacts the property market and first home ownership?
28:39
Speaker 1: Yeah? Look, I did a little bit of research, and
28:41
Speaker 1: I'm obviously very jaded by my experience to be like,
28:46
Speaker 1: that's not everything. So there was actually a research article
28:49
Speaker 1: published last year by a couple of economists from the
28:51
Speaker 1: Curtain University and also from the California Center for Population Research,
28:56
Speaker 1: and it found out a few interesting things and I've
28:58
Speaker 1: not pointed them here to read them out to you today.
29:00
Speaker 4: Back.
29:01
Speaker 1: So first things first, it found out that living in
29:03
Speaker 1: a rent free home led to a threefold increase in
29:08
Speaker 1: the chance of entering home ownership compared to someone in
29:12
Speaker 1: the private rental market trying to save up a deposit.
29:14
Speaker 1: Checks out, story checks out. That's actual research. I like that.
29:19
Speaker 1: Using data from the longest running longitudinal study of Australian households,
29:25
Speaker 1: the Household Income and Labor Dynamics in Australia, or the
29:28
Speaker 1: hill To Survey, which I've spoken about a couple of
29:30
Speaker 1: times on the Pod, the researchers were able to isolate
29:33
Speaker 1: just over eight thousand instances of survey respondents moving from
29:38
Speaker 1: non home ownership to home ownership in any year. They
29:42
Speaker 1: then looked at the parental assistance received by these homeowners
29:45
Speaker 1: and the role it played in increasing their chances of
29:48
Speaker 1: making the transition compared to someone else with the same
29:51
Speaker 1: characteristics who didn't buy property, And interestingly, they found that
29:55
Speaker 1: only a small proportion four point five percent of successful
30:00
Speaker 1: first home buyers received an outright cash transfer of more
30:03
Speaker 1: than five thousand dollars from their parents around the time
30:06
Speaker 1: of their home purchase. So that's less than what I thought.
30:08
Speaker 1: But that doesn't include like that's actual cash. Remember how
30:11
Speaker 1: I said that you don't have to just get money
30:14
Speaker 1: from your parents. You can also have a garran tore
30:16
Speaker 1: and just lean on their assets. That doesn't take that
30:18
Speaker 1: into consideration. A further two point six however, benefited from
30:23
Speaker 1: an inheritance around that time, not many, which actually is
30:27
Speaker 1: really good to Inheritance is a thing that I don't
30:31
Speaker 1: think is a blessing. Can change your life, but I
30:33
Speaker 1: would prefer to have the person there. While seventy four
30:38
Speaker 1: percent of first home buyers lived in private rentals before
30:40
Speaker 1: their purchase, thirteen point four percent had been co reciding
30:44
Speaker 1: with their parents. It's just kind of interesting.
30:46
Speaker 5: Yeah.
30:47
Speaker 1: A further four point five percent had been living in
30:49
Speaker 1: rent free dwellings provided by family or friends, like an
30:52
Speaker 1: investment property or a holiday home in Melbourners and their
30:57
Speaker 1: remaining first home buyers had either been renting in public
31:00
Speaker 1: housing or living rent free in homes provided by non
31:03
Speaker 1: family members or friends. And interestingly, in kind transfers like
31:08
Speaker 1: these from parents or family members to aspiring buyers were
31:12
Speaker 1: found by the researchers to play a critical role in
31:15
Speaker 1: helping them into the market, so they wouldn't have been
31:18
Speaker 1: able to do it without them. Yeah, okay, interesting, right,
31:21
Speaker 1: very interesting? Interesting right? But also I just feel like
31:24
Speaker 1: the Hilda study doesn't take into consideration guarantors because distilling
31:29
Speaker 1: it back down again talking about smart financial decisions. If hypothetically, Beck,
31:35
Speaker 1: i'm your mother, hab nice, I'll adopt to you. It's fine.
31:39
Speaker 1: But if hypothetically i'm your mum and you and I
31:42
Speaker 1: sit down and go all right, Beck, you want to
31:43
Speaker 1: buy a house, and I have one hundred thousand dollars
31:45
Speaker 1: in my bank account and I also own some property,
31:48
Speaker 1: and you say, all right, Victoria, I really want to
31:49
Speaker 1: buy a house. I need fifty thousand dollars as a deposit.
31:52
Speaker 1: It is a smarter financial decision for me as your mum,
31:56
Speaker 1: to let you put a guarranteur on my home, as
31:59
Speaker 1: opposed to giving you the fifty thousand dollars in cash,
32:01
Speaker 1: even though I've got it. So it makes more financial
32:05
Speaker 1: sense for me to hold onto cash because obviously cash
32:08
Speaker 1: can help me pay off the loan that I might
32:10
Speaker 1: have on that property, it can give me a bit
32:12
Speaker 1: more financial security I could invest it, and we know
32:15
Speaker 1: that the average return of the Australian share markets just
32:17
Speaker 1: over nine percent, So that's actually a better choice in
32:21
Speaker 1: this moment, in this very very simple example for me
32:24
Speaker 1: to give you a part of equity that doesn't actually
32:28
Speaker 1: impact my financial circumstances. All it does is put a
32:31
Speaker 1: caveat over that property to say, okay, well, Beck's you know,
32:34
Speaker 1: using some of that equity to buy a home because
32:36
Speaker 1: I'm there not out that cash. So to me, it
32:39
Speaker 1: makes sense that the hill To study is showing that
32:41
Speaker 1: there's actually a low amount of people that have cash
32:44
Speaker 1: being transferred to them. Because if your parents can actually
32:47
Speaker 1: afford cash, I'm just shot in the dark. They probably
32:51
Speaker 1: also have some assets that you could rely on, and
32:53
Speaker 1: I'd really like to see those statistics, but.
32:55
Speaker 4: They're not there, and they're also probably very financially servious.
32:58
Speaker 4: They know that that's the bitter choice.
33:00
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, And like if you go to a mortgage
33:02
Speaker 1: broker as well, they'll help you through that. Like if
33:05
Speaker 1: you're at a point where you're like, hey, v I
33:06
Speaker 1: know we're talking about our bomad, but I'd actually like
33:09
Speaker 1: to make use of bomad, talk to a broker. Go
33:11
Speaker 1: talk to Kate from Zella Money, and she can actually
33:14
Speaker 1: help you through that one. How do you talk to
33:16
Speaker 1: your parents? What does that look like? What are the
33:18
Speaker 1: best options, Because sometimes your parents will be like, oh, Beck,
33:20
Speaker 1: I actually have some cash saved. I'd love to be
33:23
Speaker 1: able to help, and they actually haven't thought about the
33:25
Speaker 1: implications of that, and it might actually be better to
33:27
Speaker 1: get a guaranteur as well because of your parents and
33:30
Speaker 1: like you know, again, another example, we had a client
33:33
Speaker 1: whose parents were like, Oh, we really want to help.
33:35
Speaker 1: We've got some savings that you know, we've been putting
33:37
Speaker 1: aside for you. It's like twenty grand to go towards
33:39
Speaker 1: a house deposit. Keep your cash. Can I actually just
33:43
Speaker 1: have that guarranteur? Because that way, it was a guaranteur
33:46
Speaker 1: of about one hundred thousand dollars, they got immediately into
33:49
Speaker 1: the property and everyone was actually in a better financial position.
33:52
Speaker 1: So it's definitely worth talking to a good broker about that,
33:56
Speaker 1: because sometimes your parents are like, oh, here's this cash,
33:58
Speaker 1: like that's really sexy. We've tried really hard. Yeah you have,
34:01
Speaker 1: but there's actually a better outcome for literally everybody in
34:04
Speaker 1: this circumstance.
34:05
Speaker 4: Interesting, very interesting. So from where I'm sitting, it looks
34:10
Speaker 4: like there are only benefits to having a bank of
34:13
Speaker 4: mum and dad.
34:14
Speaker 1: No, that's not true. Yeah, if we didn't talk about
34:17
Speaker 1: the cons, I guarantee my DMS would absolutely blow up
34:21
Speaker 1: with people being like, it's not all sunshine and roses.
34:24
Speaker 1: And I get that. I totally get that there's a
34:26
Speaker 1: lot of upside, but in this position, there's also a
34:29
Speaker 1: lot of downside and we covered a few of them
34:31
Speaker 1: at the very start of this episode when I talked
34:33
Speaker 1: about financial control, but obviously having financial control was one
34:37
Speaker 1: of them that I mentioned really early on. But also
34:39
Speaker 1: having a bank of mum and dad actually can delay
34:41
Speaker 1: your financial literacy until later in life when you're forced
34:45
Speaker 1: to learn instead of learning along the way, because why
34:48
Speaker 1: would you learn how to budget and why would you
34:50
Speaker 1: learn how to do cash flow if mum and dadd
34:52
Speaker 1: are just giving you cash. Like, to be honest, if
34:54
Speaker 1: my parents did that, I wouldn't be interested in budgeting either.
34:58
Speaker 4: No, that's why would I.
35:00
Speaker 1: If my dad could just step up, get a job
35:02
Speaker 1: where he can get a black Amex and then give
35:04
Speaker 1: me a copy, so I have unlimited funds, I need
35:08
Speaker 1: a budget.
35:09
Speaker 4: That hard is too much, dads.
35:11
Speaker 1: Apparently it is. Apparently it is, but it can delay
35:14
Speaker 1: financial literacy, which is obviously going to put you backwards.
35:17
Speaker 1: People who grow up with the support from their parents
35:20
Speaker 1: can actually often be a little bit more reckless with
35:22
Speaker 1: their spending as they know that they have their parents
35:25
Speaker 1: to fall back on. So, for example, they might view
35:27
Speaker 1: their parents as their emergency fund and never build one
35:30
Speaker 1: up themselves. Or and it's a very privileged position to
35:33
Speaker 1: be in, right beck. Or they might just go, oh,
35:36
Speaker 1: there's five grand in my account, that can be a
35:38
Speaker 1: UROP trip. Yeah, great. Like they're not thinking about the future,
35:41
Speaker 1: they're not thinking about wealth creation, whereas somebody who doesn't
35:45
Speaker 1: have that to fall back on is not going to
35:47
Speaker 1: make that decision. Like I guarantee today, if you had
35:49
Speaker 1: five grand in your bank account, you're going I'm going
35:52
Speaker 1: to blow it on and just a holiday. In general,
35:55
Speaker 1: it wouldn't happen with it probably not no, no, So
35:58
Speaker 1: it's one of those things where you are a bit
36:00
Speaker 1: more reckless. Again, not judgmental, no, just a fact it
36:04
Speaker 1: actually eats into parents' retirement savings. So parents can actually
36:07
Speaker 1: be overly generous. I think we need to be really
36:10
Speaker 1: aware that the bank of mum and dad. While it
36:13
Speaker 1: can be really sexy, you don't actually know their financial position.
36:16
Speaker 1: Your parents might just be being super generous because they
36:19
Speaker 1: love you so much, and it might actually be negative
36:22
Speaker 1: financially for them. So I think it's also really responsible
36:26
Speaker 1: to go, Okay, well, where is this coming from, how
36:28
Speaker 1: does this work, and actually step up and be an
36:30
Speaker 1: adult and learn a little bit about financial literacy. I'm
36:33
Speaker 1: not saying don't do it if that's your family life,
36:36
Speaker 1: because you know what, again, there are heaps of cultures
36:38
Speaker 1: where their parents are like, no, you will take my
36:40
Speaker 1: money or offend me greatly. I want to be adopted
36:43
Speaker 1: by them. If you're here going to adopt me, let
36:46
Speaker 1: me know. I'm putting my hand up exactly. And if
36:49
Speaker 1: the relationship sours amongst your family, things get really pickly
36:53
Speaker 1: really quickly. Money and obviously we're not talking about things
36:57
Speaker 1: like financial abuse and financial control, all of which are
36:59
Speaker 1: really to take into consideration there too, and I think
37:03
Speaker 1: that people don't see that as abuse because they're in
37:06
Speaker 1: quote well off situations. But it is like if your
37:08
Speaker 1: parents give you money and then lord something over you,
37:11
Speaker 1: that is actually abusive. Yeah, so that's really shitty to learn,
37:15
Speaker 1: and I think that a lot of people would be like,
37:17
Speaker 1: I need to be grateful, and like, we've heard it before.
37:19
Speaker 1: There was a money diary, I think in twenty twenty
37:21
Speaker 1: one or very very early twenty twenty two, where we
37:24
Speaker 1: spoke to somebody who was in a financially abusive relationship,
37:27
Speaker 1: and we'll find that and put that actually in the
37:29
Speaker 1: show notes, because I think it's a really good listen
37:31
Speaker 1: off the back of this where she really didn't feel
37:35
Speaker 1: like she could reach out to her family or friends
37:37
Speaker 1: because she had this really big house in this really
37:40
Speaker 1: fancy area, and you know, she had everything she could
37:43
Speaker 1: ever want, but her mum was financially abusive and lauded
37:47
Speaker 1: that over her and it really ate into her mental
37:50
Speaker 1: health and she's still in therapy for that and trying
37:52
Speaker 1: to get through that. And like, even though mum is
37:54
Speaker 1: now worth millions, she now doesn't have the education she
37:57
Speaker 1: wants because like she just didn't go out and get
37:59
Speaker 1: the edge she wanted. And it's an interesting story that
38:03
Speaker 1: I think really plays into it because I think if
38:05
Speaker 1: I said, to your name, a financially abusive relationship can go,
38:09
Speaker 1: you'd be like, oh, husband and wife immediately instead of
38:12
Speaker 1: thinking okay, cool. It could be a moment, could be
38:15
Speaker 1: a dad. It could be you know, a child abusing
38:18
Speaker 1: an elder. It could be so many different things. And
38:20
Speaker 1: I think we really need to open that part of
38:22
Speaker 1: the conversation up as well, because as much as you're right,
38:25
Speaker 1: bo mad sounds so sexy, like the bank of mom
38:28
Speaker 1: and dad. I would love to have stupidly rich parents
38:31
Speaker 1: great ten out of ten because I know that they'd
38:33
Speaker 1: be so much less stressed, Like imagine if your mum
38:35
Speaker 1: was real rich. So I want that for everybody.
38:38
Speaker 4: I'm actually hoping that she sits me down one day
38:40
Speaker 4: and says, I've been secretly a billionaire your.
38:43
Speaker 1: Whole Yeah right. I've been teaching you Beck to just
38:46
Speaker 1: be humble. I've been giving you life experience. I have
38:49
Speaker 1: been making you the best person ever. Don't worry about
38:53
Speaker 1: it now.
38:53
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, wouldn't that be nice? Can someday what
38:56
Speaker 4: took you so long?
38:57
Speaker 1: Do you know what if that is your money story
38:59
Speaker 1: and you had a parent turn around at some point, Instaid, Actually,
39:02
Speaker 1: we've been teaching you to be humble for a really
39:04
Speaker 1: long time. Please site into that story so much, because
39:08
Speaker 1: it's just a pipe dream for us, that would be
39:11
Speaker 1: it's a pipe dream. All right. Well, I think that's
39:13
Speaker 1: all we have time for today. Beck what do you reckon?
39:16
Speaker 4: I reckon?
39:17
Speaker 1: Let's get out here.
39:17
Speaker 4: Let's make that tea once and for all.
39:19
Speaker 1: My gosh, yes, all right, I hope there's oat milk
39:21
Speaker 1: in the fridge in this office. Otherwise I'm gonna ris
39:24
Speaker 1: I'm gonna run, all right, See you guys on Friday.
39:26
Speaker 1: Have a good week.
39:33
Speaker 5: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
39:36
Speaker 5: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
39:40
Speaker 5: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should
39:43
Speaker 5: not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
39:47
Speaker 1: If you do choose to buy a financial product.
39:49
Speaker 5: Read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored
39:53
Speaker 5: towards your needs. Victoria Divine and She's on the Money
39:56
Speaker 5: are authorized representatives of money. Sheper pt I l T
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Speaker 5: D A B N three two one six four nine
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