Latest / Two Broke Chicks / How To Change Your Life In 30 Days ft. Alexis Fernandez

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How To Change Your Life In 30 Days ft. Alexis Fernandez · Two Broke Chicks

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gadigal Land Always was, always
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land. Hey Cheeks, I'm sal and I'm
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: out and this is two Broke Cheeks, a show that
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  Speaker 1: shares life lessons and tips to help make you rich
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: in life.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: And look who we've got back in. It's Alexis Fernandez.
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  Speaker 3: So happy to be back fix our lives.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: I want to say, I feel like we get you
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: in like quarterly.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: This is my quarterly therapists appointment.
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  Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, scheduled in yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, but we've got you on again because we're going
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  Speaker 2: to talk about how to change your life.
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  Speaker 3: In thirty days.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: Yes, because you just dropped your brand new audiobook, How
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: to Chase Chains.
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  Speaker 3: I'm so excited.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, congratulations, thank you.
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  Speaker 3: Thank you. It's weird because I kind of had to
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  Speaker 3: re listen to it because I wrote it over a
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: year ago. You guys wrote a book, you know what
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  Speaker 3: it's like. You know, you write it, then there's the
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: whole process. So I was listening back to it and I'm like,
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  Speaker 3: that's actually really good. That's good stuff, right, Yeah, you
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  Speaker 3: impress yourself. So yeah, no, I'm so I'm so happy
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  Speaker 3: it's finally out, and it's really cute because I've got
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  Speaker 3: all these listeners writing being like I'm on day seven,
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  Speaker 3: I'm one day because you've got to listen to like
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  Speaker 3: ten minutes a day for thirty days. It's incredible.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. I love that the little modules it like gives
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  Speaker 2: you daily homework and yeah to do, which I think.
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  Speaker 3: Is so good. It makes it really digestible.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: I think there's also.
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  Speaker 1: Like nothing like that really Like I think so it's
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  Speaker 1: really a great form of short form, easy and achievable
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  Speaker 1: content to listen to, exactly because I think sometimes we
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: can I don't know, we'll read like a self help
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  Speaker 1: book stuff and it's so good in the moment, but
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  Speaker 1: it's really easy.
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  Speaker 3: To fall off. I forget and what I noticed exactly
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  Speaker 3: that I will. I don't want to put it down,
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  Speaker 3: so I like inhale the whole book, but then I've
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  Speaker 3: actually only retained half of it. If that because there
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  Speaker 3: might have been good tips, but I haven't put them
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  Speaker 3: into practice. Yeah, because I'm so excited about just reading
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  Speaker 3: the whole thing, and I think, well, I'll get to
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  Speaker 3: the end and then i'll read it again. But I
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  Speaker 3: never do micro learning. Yeah, exactly. This like forces you
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  Speaker 3: to get through that step and then you do the
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  Speaker 3: next thing.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely. Well we're going to get into it in detail,
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: but before we do, you know, how we roll, we
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  Speaker 2: like to start with a life lesson of the week,
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  Speaker 2: So what's yours.
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  Speaker 3: Life lesson of the week? Lowering expectations in a good way.
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  Speaker 3: I think for myself, I had like, sometimes I've set
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  Speaker 3: myself all these goals that I have to complete by
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  Speaker 3: the end of the week, but then I actually managed
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  Speaker 3: to do a lot of other things that are not
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: work related that were actually really fulfilling. And then I'm like,
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  Speaker 3: sometimes I will mark my success based on what I
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: got done at work, especially because like work, for myself,
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: everything's like if I don't do it, it's not going
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  Speaker 3: to get done. So then it's really easy to slip
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  Speaker 3: into well, I haven't achieved enough, I'm not doing enough.
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  Speaker 3: I'm constantly feeling like more should be done. But I
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  Speaker 3: think the lesson that I've learned is sometimes it's really
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  Speaker 3: important to like zoom out and look at how much
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  Speaker 3: I've done with like connecting with people haven't seen in
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  Speaker 3: a while, like read, you know, all of that, and
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  Speaker 3: lowering your expectations in a good way. It's like it's
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  Speaker 3: not all on that zoom out kind of look at
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  Speaker 3: the bigger picture. And every time I do that, I
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  Speaker 3: feel so good about myself And it's so easy to
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  Speaker 3: just slip into the I measure my value based on
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  Speaker 3: my output of work. So yeah, that's a very convoluted answer.
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  Speaker 2: I love that, And I think, you know, it's such
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  Speaker 2: a good way to practice gratitude as well. I know
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  Speaker 2: that's a real buzzword, but I do think it's important
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  Speaker 2: and can help like center you when things are feeling
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  Speaker 2: overwhelming or you're feeling a little bit lost.
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  Speaker 3: Totally. Yeah, I love that.
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  Speaker 2: What's yours elf?
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  Speaker 3: Okay?
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  Speaker 1: Mine is just a silly goofy one, and it is
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  Speaker 1: the fifteen most attractive male hobbies to women. Oh and
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  Speaker 1: I wanted to read it out please, I know, I
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  Speaker 1: know you'll have an opinion. Ok, okay, Number fifteen traveling, Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: oh yeah, right, Number fourteen blacksmithing.
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  Speaker 3: What yeah?
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  Speaker 1: Eighty eight point two two percent of women said they
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  Speaker 1: found blacksmithing an attractive male hobby.
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  Speaker 3: Were they asked do you think black? Or did eight
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  Speaker 3: percent of women just think off the top of the head.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, I don't have that information because I'm like,
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  Speaker 1: because that's why.
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  Speaker 3: But I like, I like.
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  Speaker 1: Surely it had to be like a multiple choice, and
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  Speaker 1: it was like, has to be.
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  Speaker 3: I'm not gonna lie.
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  Speaker 1: If I saw blacksmithing on a serve, I'd be like,
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  Speaker 1: that's a sword, I'd be like, yeah, maybecause we love
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  Speaker 1: it's like.
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  Speaker 3: An active service almost.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, making me something. Yeah, okay. Archery, Yeah, smash, that
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  Speaker 1: was immediate hot.
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  Speaker 3: It's giving, like if you're good.
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  Speaker 1: At it through twelve hiking that would be last me
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  Speaker 1: because I don't want to go hiking.
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  Speaker 3: Then astronomy I would put that as a neutral. I
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  Speaker 3: don't find that hot. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Next is photography, Yeah, okay, that's a good one.
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  Speaker 3: Okay.
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  Speaker 1: Then we've got swimming, gardening, and writing.
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  Speaker 3: Okay, gardening, but if you're a landscaper like heart out, yes,
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  Speaker 3: I don't know.
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  Speaker 1: I kind of fun with the image of a guy
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  Speaker 1: building a herb garden.
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  Speaker 3: That's cute.
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  Speaker 1: Yeahdening, I get writing, writing, And then we've got painting, woodworking,
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  Speaker 1: and cooking.
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  Speaker 3: Cooking.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, these we're at the top three now, Okay, okay,
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  Speaker 1: so number three most attractive hobbies of a man to
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  Speaker 1: a woman playing an instrument.
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  Speaker 3: I would, yes, yeah, what if a guy like serenades
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  Speaker 3: you with like an oboe or something, I'd be like
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  Speaker 3: a clarinet cette.
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  Speaker 1: First day he's like, can I play my saxophone for you?
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  Speaker 3: Saxophone? Actually? I think I could be. Yeah, if you're
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  Speaker 3: like a good jazzy that's soloist. I can't see.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, I think it depends on the.
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  Speaker 3: Flexing that skill. How good they are.
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  Speaker 1: Foreign languages is number two, which definitely absolutely agree it
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  Speaker 1: shows intelligence. And then the number one it is reading. Oh, reading,
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  Speaker 1: so you know changed and it was like hot guys.
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  Speaker 3: Reading that's true because it shows a level of emotional
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  Speaker 3: intelligence exactly.
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  Speaker 1: And that's what I was like, you know what, I
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  Speaker 1: get that, especially when they're reading like a very smart
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  Speaker 1: book that you get.
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  Speaker 3: It, yeah, or like autobiography, Yes, yeah, exactly.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, My life lesson of the week, I'll keep it
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  Speaker 2: short and sweet, but it's to not wait until you're
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  Speaker 2: feeling sick to go to the doctor and to like
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  Speaker 2: do your regular checkups across the board for your dentist,
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  Speaker 2: your doctor, optometrists, et cetera. Because it always piles up
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  Speaker 2: and becomes stressful and becomes so mature, really hard to manage.
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  Speaker 2: So I think like that's something that I'd been putting
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  Speaker 2: off for ages, and I just feel like I have
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  Speaker 2: a little bit more clarity with how I've been feeling
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  Speaker 2: and what's been going on, and it just like gives
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  Speaker 2: you some of the stepping stones to at least try
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  Speaker 2: to improve or feel better, no matter what it is.
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  Speaker 2: And then as well, it's not one of those things
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  Speaker 2: where you're like falling asleep at night and you're like,
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  Speaker 2: I need to go to the dentist.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love an annual checker.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I love it. Get that stethoscope on me. Yeah,
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  Speaker 3: I just love that. Other date. It's funny you say that,
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  Speaker 3: because only just the other day went to the doctor
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  Speaker 3: and be like, can I just get my bloods done? Yeah? Yeah,
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  Speaker 3: and then resolves together like a week later.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, when they give you the results, it honestly feels
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  Speaker 1: like again, yeah, it's just so fun this week.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, Yeah, I felt like I was getting like
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  Speaker 2: a report card back.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah. I loved it. Yeah, yeah, I was.
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  Speaker 1: That's actually probably there's something there's some deeper root cause
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  Speaker 1: about it.
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  Speaker 3: Anyway, let's jump here.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, starting off with probably the biggest question of all.
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  Speaker 1: But why is change so scary? Why is it so intimidating?
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  Speaker 3: I think because whether it's changing for the bad or
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  Speaker 3: whether it's changing for the good, which is the most
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  Speaker 3: the main reason why you'd want to change, it's because
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  Speaker 3: it represents the unknown. You really don't know what it's
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  Speaker 3: going to bring you. You could try, Oh, I'm going
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  Speaker 3: to go for this promotion. I'm going to try and
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  Speaker 3: ask this person on a dat There's all these possible
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  Speaker 3: good things that could come out of it, but we
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  Speaker 3: don't know what it's going to look like. And it
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  Speaker 3: also requires effort and hard work, so we will. We
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  Speaker 3: can dream about it, which we do we're really good
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  Speaker 3: at and we like plot and dream and brains and
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  Speaker 3: we talk about it. We love to talk about it.
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  Speaker 3: But then we talk about that dreams again and to
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  Speaker 3: get to everyone, and then we feel validated. If I
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  Speaker 3: talk I'm going to run a half marathon. Oh my god,
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  Speaker 3: you're amazing, You're amazing. I've now been validated when it comes.
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  Speaker 4: To and I'm like no, no, no, no, no no, I
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  Speaker 4: can't be fucked doing that, or it's like that represent
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  Speaker 4: that's a lot harder than I thought it would be
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  Speaker 4: or I don't know how to begin, or I just
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  Speaker 4: experienced my first hurdle and it's just turned me off
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  Speaker 4: doing it.
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  Speaker 3: So we're really good at protecting ourselves and even discomfort
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  Speaker 3: even if it's not an actual threat. We're like, m
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  Speaker 3: but this is just more safe, This is more comfortable.
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  Speaker 3: So it's not through lack of not wanting a different life,
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  Speaker 3: but it just it's hard. It's uncomfortable. It's the unknown.
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  Speaker 1: I feel like as well, because so often change we
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  Speaker 1: can see and look at it as in something bad
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  Speaker 1: will happen, like it's a lot easier to focus on change,
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: being like this is bad. This is like what if
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: this happens, what if that happened?
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  Speaker 3: Or what if I fail? Yeah, And the thing is,
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  Speaker 3: every time I've done something that I thought was going
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: to work out and it didn't work out, which has
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  Speaker 3: been many many times in my life, but it's never
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: been as bad as what I thought the worst case
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: scenario would be. So from the starting point, I'd be like,
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  Speaker 3: I'm going to take this risk, and if it doesn't
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  Speaker 3: work out, this is what it's going to be terrible.
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  Speaker 3: But the reason it's not as bad is because a
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  Speaker 3: you've already taken that step. You've left your old life,
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  Speaker 3: You've taken that step, so you're already an evolved version
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  Speaker 3: of yourself somewhat. Then that thing doesn't work out, but
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  Speaker 3: you're also too busy to be just sitting there just
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: you know, having a breakdown about it, because you're likely
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: going to be like, all right, well, I left my
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: job to get this new job. Didn't get it, but
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  Speaker 3: now I've got it. So you become actually quite proactive.
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  Speaker 3: And every time things have not worked out for me
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  Speaker 3: in the past, and I've had like big things not
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: work out for me, and every single time, I've been
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  Speaker 3: a lot more resilient. I've responded in a much more
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  Speaker 3: proactive way than what I thought the worst case scenario
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  Speaker 3: would look like. So it's never as bad as you think. Ever.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, my favorite thing to remind myself is
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  Speaker 1: is that every good thing that has ever happened to
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  Speaker 1: me is because something bad happened.
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  Speaker 3: In the past. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Every's everything that didn't go right has led to something
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  Speaker 1: going right down the track, down the track, Yeah, because
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: it's like, you know, if like you can backtrack, it
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  Speaker 1: ll like if you didn't break up with that one person,
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: maybe you wouldn't have moved to you know, that country,
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  Speaker 1: and then you wouldn't have met your friends you've got
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: now or whatever it is like whatever like red string
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  Speaker 1: on a whiteboard that you want to like break it
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  Speaker 1: down to. It's just like that's my thing to do
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  Speaker 1: whenever I'm like this is packed, like it's fine because.
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  Speaker 3: When I'm fifty yeah, no, but it is true, one
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  Speaker 3: hundred percent true. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, So we've decided we want to make a change,
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  Speaker 2: we want to change our lives in thirty days. What
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  Speaker 2: does day one look like?
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  Speaker 3: So day one is primarily all about understanding. So I've
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  Speaker 3: got like different modules, but day one is all about
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  Speaker 3: understanding kind of your identity and your I think it's
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  Speaker 3: really easy to decide what I want change. I'm just
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: going to go for it, and it's all about like
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: action and trying to make things work. But sometimes we
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: make it's so much harder for ourselves because we don't
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: understand what the foundation is. And the foundation is you
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  Speaker 3: your beliefs, your mindset, and what you truly identify with.
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  Speaker 3: Because if you're someone that says I'm not a morning person,
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  Speaker 3: I'm you know, and you've got this identity, but then
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: you think, well, I'm going to start running and the
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: only time you can run is in the morning. Then
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: what does that look like for you? You're going to
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: be hating your life. It's going to be a goal
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: that you don't attach too much happiness. It's there's so
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: many things. And that's just a really basic example, but
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  Speaker 3: a lot of our identity of like what we're deserving off,
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: what kind of love and relationship we're deserving off a lot.
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: That's what Module one is all about. Where really and
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: I break it down into all these categories, but you
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: really get a bit of a spreadsheet understanding on what
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: are my real beliefs about who I am and what
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: I'm deserving off or capable of having, and that is
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: where we start from to then work on what we
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: want to bring in.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's more about identifying your values, not your goals,
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  Speaker 1: exactly exactly your values and also like your real belief
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: system because they can be changed, but it's hard to
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: change it if you don't know what exactly it is.
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  Speaker 3: So it's like the whole you can't change what you
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  Speaker 3: don't acknowledge. We especially if it's a negative belief, we'll
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: sweep it under the rug because we don't want to
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: face it.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: I think that's so interesting because in that module you
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: talk about cognitive bias and how that can be really
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: limiting in getting you to achieve your goals and what
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: you really want to do. And I think that running
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: example is a good one because it's like, oh, I'm
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: not a morning person, and it's like, well why not?
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: Like maybe you could be? Is that just something if
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: you've got to training yourself.
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: Look to paris what you be a morning person? Like
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: what you get go to the airport? You know, it's
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: all about it's all about value exchange. If something brings
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: you enough value, you have no problem putting in the work,
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: So why don't you value it? Maybe we need to
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: reframe why we need to value something more. But if
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: everything comes down to what is more valuable right now
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: for me? Is it that thing or what I'm doing
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: right now, sleeping in or whatever it is? You know,
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: so there's always there's always a trade off. What if
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: you don't know what you want?
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: We had quite a few people write in and say,
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: I know I want change and I want to have goals,
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: but I just don't know what I want those goals
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: to be how can you define your goals and what
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: you want to do with your life?
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: Yeap, So I think if you are in a position
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: where you're like I actually have no idea. I think
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: that it is good to look at what you don't want.
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: Not to don't sit on it for too long, because
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: then you can just spend your whole life just avoiding
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: what you don't want. But I think it is good
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: to look at what you don't want. For example, in relationships,
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: like I think it really serves you. I never say
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: that it's I never say that I'm grateful for abusive
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: relationships because I don't think anyone should go through it. However,
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: being in emotionally abusive relationships gave me such clarity on
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: what I would never have again in my life, so
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: I was able to be like, I don't want that.
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: I don't want that. I don't want that. What does
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: the opposite of that look like? So, for example, if
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: you think, well, what do I like about my life?
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  Speaker 3: I don't like that it's mundane. I don't like that
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: I'm not filled with joy going into work. I don't
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: like commuting. So you can start thinking I don't like
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: I don't like I don't like I don't like feeling
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: like I have no energy. So then now you've identified
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: all these things and now you're like, what does the
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: flip side of that look like? Okay, maybe I need
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: more adventure. Maybe I'm seeking that kind of feeling in
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: my life. Maybe I'm seeking being full of energy. Maybe
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: I'm lonely, maybe I need to So that's how you
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: start to like identify what you value. And when you
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: know what you value, then you can be creative. Because
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: I think a lot of people also think I have
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: to know the answer right now, I have to know
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: what I want. But it's like, just identify the feeling
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: that you value and where you can access that. So
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: if I feel like I want more adventure, do I
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: want that at work? Do I want to just travel more?
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: Do I want to be more spontaneous at nighttime? What
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: do I want to be doing? You know what I mean?
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: And then through a bit of trial and error, it's
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: like a numbers game, you're going to see something will
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: stick and then you can follow that path. I like that.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: I like that it's looking about starting rather than stopping,
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: like not focusing on the negative thing that you don't want. Yeah, exactly,
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's like the lock and the key
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: for your brain a little bit. Yeah, because it's like
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: even with you saying, you know, I don't want to
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: feel tired, or it's like I want to feel more energy,
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: and that's the thing that you'll be like, okay, okay,
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: I will get up, like I will you know, I'll
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: drink my water or whatever. That's the most basic example.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: But nobody is Yeah, that whole thing.
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: I love that.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: But what are your tips for people like me asking
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: for a friend who struggle with procrastination or getting the
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: motivation to get started?
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So, okay, the number one thing with motivation is
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: that we sit here and we think that there's this
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: like future version of ourselves either tomorrow or next week
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: that is more willing to do something that we're willing
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: to do right now. So if you're saying to yourself,
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: I'll leave this for tomorrow because I don't want to
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: do it now, you're not going to want to do
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: it tomorrow. You're kidding yourself. There's no world where you're
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: going to be in the mood to do it if
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: you're not in the mood right now, especially if it's
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: something that you've procrastinated on multi times. So what I
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: do with anything that I procrastinate on is you want
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: to break it down in the most manageable, bite sized piece,
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: so even if the task can't be completed. So the
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: example I use is doing an essay for a subject
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: that was really, really hard, and I just knew that
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: it would be a nightmare because I hadn't completely grasped that.
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: So what I used to do is I would think, well,
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: if I say to myself, I'm going to be sitting
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: here for four hours working on this essay, I would
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: avoid it at all costs because I'm like, this is
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: I get anxiety when I sit and do this. I
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: can't It's stressing me out so much. So then I thought,
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: I'm going to set a thirty minute timer and I'm
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: just going to look at and I think, like, how
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: can I make the barrier of entry so easy? So
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: I thought, I'm just going to look for references. I'm
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: just gonna like troll through a Google scholar and look
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: at references. I don't actually write shit, so that the
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: barrier to entry was so loow because I'm like, I'm
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: not putting pressure on myself, but I am dedicating thirty
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: minutes no matter what. And then once the timer goes off,
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: I can stop doing it. So then because or you
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: could do twenty minutes and then more. Almost every time
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: when the time I went off, I was I'm so
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: engrossed in that task, and I'm like thirty more minutes,
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: twenty more minutes because there's no pressure. So what I
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: say to people, if you're procrastinating, limit the barrier to entry.
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: Make it ridiculously easy to do, and then see if
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: it sticks. And then the beauty of it is if
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: the timer goes off and you're like, I'm still hating this,
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: then stop doing it, because then you can say, you
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: know what I did the ten minutes, I did something
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: towards this task, and then tomorrow I can do another
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: ten minutes. I don't you know. Once the time I
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: went off, I let myself stop, you know, So that
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: way in here, right, Yeah, you do. You get that
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: sense of accomplishment and it does feel good and then
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: you think, even though that was hard, I loved how
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: I felt after, so I'm more likely to want to
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: do it again. Yeah.
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: That's like the motivation, Yeah, gets you there. And also
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: looking at the individual steps rather than the mountain.
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: Never, Yeah, card look at the mountain because it's so fat. Yeah,
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: that mountain.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: I feel like that's what I have to do because
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: otherwise I spiral and like the big picture and then
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, no, let's break it down into steps. Yeah,
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: and the individual tasks I need to do to get there,
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: And a lot of the time it's so much easier
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: than the fresher that you've so hard.
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: I was seeing this thing on like ADHD TikTok, and
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: I don't have ADHD, but I could fully relate to this.
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: It's like, I need a tidy this shelf, and before
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: you know, you've pulled out everything of your wardrobe. It's
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: all on your bed, and you start going through your documents.
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: Then it's nighttime and you get to your bedroom and
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: you're like, oh, it's so bad. Yeah, And then the
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: thing is, next time you go and do it, you're like, oh, no,
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: that's too big a task. Whereas if you did one
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: carpet or one draw a week, your kitchen would always
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: be in great order, you know. So it's it's that
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: kind of stuff. It's like if I didn't procrastinate on
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: this and wait till it got bad, enough that would
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: never have to happen, you know.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: Ahead, So let's say that we've made a conscious decision
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: to make a change. What are three common ways that
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: we self sabotage in our twenties.
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: Okay, So the first one, and this is probably like
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: the main one, is our language. We really don't pay
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: attention to our language and how we talk about our selves.
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: And there's so much, you know, data and evidence to
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: show how much your language impacts what you're going to
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: do and how you're going to show up as you know,
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: a friend or whatever. And it's not in the sense
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: of because I was I watched this TikTok recently, and
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: it's like everything you say is going to be the truth.
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: So stop saying, oh my god, I'm dead. I'm dead.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: It's like that's ridiculous. Like I can say oh my god,
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: I'm dead as a reaction because it's the belief behind
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: the language which mars. So if you're saying like I'm
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: always late, I'm always late, you believe that because you
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: are always late, But you are just you are reiterating
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: and re establishing something again and again. I always fail
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: just because you have a history of not passing things
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: you then say I'm a failure. I'm a failure. We
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: become really universal with our language, which is really unhealthy.
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: So I say, the first thing that's holding you back
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: is take like a snapshot of how you speak about
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: yourself and be like, is this actually the truth? Am
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: I being too general with this? Instead of saying I'm
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: a failure, say I've in the past failed at this,
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: failed at these things, and then change your language too.
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: I would be capable of passing if I were to
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: do these things, you know, So you start to evolve
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: your language. That's the first thing. Number one thing. The
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: next thing that we do is that we are so
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: dramatic with the changes that we want to make. We'll
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: be like, right, right, right, I'm going to start at
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: the gym, and then I'm also not going to eat
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: any sugar and have no And then you've put so
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: many things that are really difficult back to back, so
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: it's not just one hard thing. I'm not gonna have
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: sugar this week, or I'm going to go to the
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: gym every single day, or whatever it is you decide,
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: I'm going to become a brand new person tomorrow, and
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: I'm doing it every single one of those, so you
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: set yourself up to fail because it's so horrible. You
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: try and do it and it's like, this is fucked.
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: I'm not enjoying this at all, this is this is
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: not a life. And then you think, oh, those fit people,
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: how do they enjoy their life? How can they? So
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: then you start attaching that hard work to being like,
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: that's a negative life to live because it's so hard,
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: instead of thinking, what if I were to change one
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: thing at a time until it became part of my lifestyle,
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: then it wouldn't be a horrible lifestyle. I'd actually quite
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: enjoy it and I'd have a lot more balance in
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: my life. So this idea of trying to change twenty
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: things at once, it rarely, rarely, rarely works. So don't
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: do it because then you're gonna look at it with
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: a negative lens and you're going to say to yourself,
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: I tried it and I couldn't do it. It's like
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: you're not the failure. You had a flawed strategy that
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: was the problem.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, so it didn't found your strategy.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: Your strategy was fuck strategy. And then the last one is,
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: of course procrastination. Like we're talking about earlier we will
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: always put off things because we think that we need
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: to be one hundred percent sure. We're like, that's another
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: reason why we procrastinate. We're like, well, maybe I don't
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: know that we're waiting for something to slap us in
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: the face with clarity. I need to know. Almost everything
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: I've done in my life I've not had clarity on.
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: I've had like a general push an interest like oh
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: that I could you know, and then you find clarity
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: by doing. It's kind of like, you know, we think
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: we're going to know, we're going to be ready all
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: these things you can only truly know once you begin.
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: So just like start if it doesn't work, a cape swap, start,
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: I don't care how many times you have to chop
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: and change, but don't sit and wait for clarity.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: I also think taking the pressure off sometimes is what's helpful,
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: because it's like I do think setting like, you know,
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: a goal that's like numerical and being like I'm going
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: to do this like every week is good and that
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: is helpful. But I've recently found that sometimes even just
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: being like I'd like to do more of this rather
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: than being like I'm going to do this has been
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: more helpful because you take the pressure off and then
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: you stop having the failure thing being like if I
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: didn't do it, then I suck and I obviously just
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: can't do it. Yeah, And I find that so helpful.
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: And you don't want to make it like, oh, I'm
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: in a prison, and I'm like, I'm like, it shouldn't
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: be a chore. No, exactly, yeah, exactly. It has to
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: feel good.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: But I would love your opinion on what do you
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: think about the saying nothing changes if nothing changes.
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I agree. I agree with it in the
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: sense of, you know, in order, like you, something has
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: to give. You know, the only thing that's if you
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: weren't to change anything in your life, you would actually
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: fall behind because everything keeps moving around you, like things
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: are constantly evolving around you. Your friends are in different
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: stages of their life, so is your family. Your work
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: dynamic is going to change. If you changed nothing, you
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: would fall behind. So we always have to evolve constantly.
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: We've got to evolve. Look at our fashion, look at
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: everything like everything evolves. Nothing is stagnant. So you've got
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: to look at change and constantly evolving as that's the
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: default option. You know, if we hold onto things too much.
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: Not only will nothing change, I actually think you will regress.
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: You know, there's no life that's safe enough. There's no
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: relationships safe enough, there's nothing safe enough that warrants you
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: holding on so type for it not to change. Ever,
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: so you're better off being a little bit more carefree
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: and thinking. If I can change and evolve all the time,
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: then when a curve wall comes my way, I'm very equipped.
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: I'm very equipped to change, very I'm adaptable, I'm resilient.
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: I'd rather be adaptable and resilient than be a hoarder
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: with what I've got in my life, because even then
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: you can't ensure that things are going to stay the same,
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: you know. So yeah, I definitely agree with that saying yeah,
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: I love that put that shit on shirt.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: So another big one, how do you carry on the
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: changes that you've made and the habits that you've built
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: beyond the thirty days?
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: Okay, So what I do is I try and get
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: people to kind of have like a hierarchy, a hierarchy
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: of importance of their goals and stuff. And you always
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: start with one thing and you make it easy for yourself.
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: So say I want to start waking up earlier. Okay,
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: So you wake up at eight and you want to
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: start waking up at six, I'm going to start waking
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: up at seven thirty.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: Then once it becomes a habit, then you can push
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: it earlier. Then you can push it earlier. The aim
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: is to become so accustomed to that one thing that
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: instead of it being a conscious effort, you've outsourced that
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: job to your subconscious mind. You no longer have to
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: You've it's like you've subcontracted that. I like that exactly.
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: Once your subconscious mind takes care of it, it's now
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: part of your identity, and that's module one. It's like
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: you can change your identity as many times as you want,
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: whatever you want, but it takes effort. But once you've
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: done it, it's effortless. So then I'm now a morning
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: person or I now this. Then you just keep stacking
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: on new things, but you've got to wait till it
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: becomes something that's more solidified that it's not an effort.
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: So when I was talking about flawed strategy before, we
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: put in twenty things at once, and it's all an effort.
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: So we kind of even get one done because it's
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: it's horrible. It's really exhausting. So start with thirty minutes earlier.
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: Start with drinking one extra glass of water a day.
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: Instead of thinking I'm drowning myself trying to get through water,
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: just an extra glass, or think what if I had
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: that glass the moment I wake up that way, I've
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: had a bit more water. And like, it's these tiny, tiny,
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: tiny things. It sounds so simple, but if you did
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: this in six months, you would look back and be like,
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: this is crazy how much I've been able to add
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: into my life or change and adapt or the discipline
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: that I've got. And it doesn't feel horrible. I'm really
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: enjoying this. You know.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: I love how you say it's tiny, But we don't
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: do that even like, yeah.
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: The reason we're not doing is because we're like, oh, well,
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to see enough change with that. I
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: want I want change that will give you major change.
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: It's not exciting, it's not you know, it's not half
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: marathon back. Yeah yeah, and it's not exciting to announce.
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: It's very personal. It's very much on your own journey.
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: No one cares if you've woken up ten minutes earlier today.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: So it's just this personal thing that I've got to
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: just silently chip away these tiny milestones. But that's where
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: you change your reputation. That's where you change so much.
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: People will look at you being like, when did this
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: transformation happen? And it's this tiny, tiny, tiny things day
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: to day. Don't look at it as being this spectacle.
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: You can't like transform yourself overnight.
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: No, no, no.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: And I think that it is exactly what you were
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: saying before of like it feels really good to be
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: like I'm going to do it these seven things from
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: now on that yeah, it does feel really good. But
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: I also think it ties into that whole thing of
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: everything we're told we're.
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: Supposed to be able to do.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: Like we're told, all right, you've got to socialize with
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: your friends on the weekend, drink five gallons of water
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: every hour, and exercise seventy two times a day and
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: do this and do that. And I feel like that
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: does feed into it, like the expectation and the pressure
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: that you can get that like that like ping you
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: that I feel like pulling yourself out of it is
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: like one of the really really tricky things. But I
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: exactly what you're saying at the start, though it's identifying
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: those values yep, and like, definitely you actually give a
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: shit about.
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: And sometimes you'll you'll really look back and this is
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: what I want a lot of people to see. Sometimes
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: you look back and be like, I actually, based on
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: my values and based on doing that like that task,
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: I don't want this anymore. Sometimes we'll bang on about
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: something that we think we want, and a huge one
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: is like a particular the body type that we're trying
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: to like, or like a job that you've been slogging
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: it out and it's no longer a passion, but it's
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: like that sunk cost fallacy, so we stick it out.
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: There's so many things that you'll realize when you work
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: through it, for what do I value, You'll actually be
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: able to let go off a lot being like that
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: doesn't matter to me anymore, but this other thing does,
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: and I want more of that in my life, you know.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like that's the sort of change that
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: we should be focusing on and chasing in our lives.
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: And also just reminding yourself that you are entirely capable.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: I think there's so many things that we take for
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: granted that our effort that we do every single day,
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: like brushing your teeth or getting up and going to
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: work on time, or taking the bins down, Like these
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: are all annoying little things that we do every day
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: in their habits that we've built up. It's not things
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: that you're like born into this earth and you're like,
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: I'm going to show up to work on time, like
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: these arenas that we built up, but we take it
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: for granted. Like, look back at all of these little
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: minute tasks that you do every day or you've done
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: throughout your life and remind yourself you are capable and
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: waking up thirty minutes earlier is also something that you
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: are capable of doing.
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: Oh fuck, that was great. I was loved that. Great.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: Tom everyone. Okay, so we finished every episode with the
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: big life question, and it is what has been your
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: biggest life lesson on embracing change in your twenties or
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: any age.
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: Well, for me it was I might have already told
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: this story on your podcast, I'm not sure, but for
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: me it was actually like being absolutely heartbroken and dumped
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: and just and I was like, in hindsight, I'm like,
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: I'm so happy that I'm so happy that happened, because
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: not to say that you have to go through a heartbreak.
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: But it caused me into the biggest downward spiral for
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: over a year, which then caused me to buy this
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: one way ticket to France to Paris. I then moved
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: there on a whim. It was just chaotic but incredible
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: because it kind of threw me in the deep end
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: and I was all alone, and it finally gave me
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: the opportunity to be like I actually I am capable
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: of doing so much on my own. And not only that,
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: I got to a point where I really loved being
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: in my own company, really loved it. Forced me into
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: so much change. It forced me to well, didn't even
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: force me. It inspired me to quit acting, which is
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: this is one of the things I was talking about earlier.
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: I was like, if I don't get this, this is
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: what I want this. It made me acting. Yes, I
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: used to do acting, and I was like, this is
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: the be all end all there. You know, there is
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: no plan B all that shit that people say, guys
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: have a plan B. It's fine. This whole idea if
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: there's only one version of my life that I can
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: be happy in bullshit. There's actually statistically seven versions of
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: your life that you can be really, really really happy with, right,
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: So I love that. That's yeah. And so I was
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: here thinking this is the only way forcing forcing passible.
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: And then one day I thought, this is give me
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: so much anxiety. I'm going to take a six month hiatus.
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: One month and I'm like, I'm never going back. I
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: feel so good. I'm quitting. I'm just going to try
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: new things. I'm done. I just wanted to just I
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: learned to chase the feeling of happiness instead of these
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: external things. And chasing the feeling of happiness led me
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: into leaning into things I was interested in without needing
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: I want to study the brain again, instead of thinking
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: what career do I want? What's like you said the mountain. Yeah.
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: I didn't even know what career that would bring me.
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: I didn't even look at it. I just thought, well,
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: every time I think of the brain, I get inspired,
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: I get really happy. So I'm just going to study that.
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: So that breakup was the catalyst for everything. That was
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: the biggest lesson in my twenties. It really taught me
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: all these lessons combined into one, that you can have
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: your own back, that you are more resilient than you think,
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: that it's okay to quit. Sometimes it's better to quit
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: sooner rather than later. It was just the best thing ever.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: Honestly, do you know what that reminds me of. It's
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: this quote from the book The Mountain is You, and
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: it's to have your new life, you have to sacrifice
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: your old wife.
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: Yes, I love that one. It's so true.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's like quite literally like you wanting to
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: be an actor, you were with a part of that
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: can X and hit, you know, rock break. Now like
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: you have a completely new life. I have embrace changed happiness,
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: and oh I love that.
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: I really hope that, like so many people who are
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: listening to this, who either are going through that right
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: now or potentially will go through something really hard in
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: the future, will remember that. I think it's such good perspective, even.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: Though it's really hard to remember in the moment. Yeah,
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: I know, but it's yeah, it's comforting though. It's comforting
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: to know that there will be a day that you
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: kind of exhale and you're.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: Like, thank God that happened. And for anybody who isn't
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: already following you, where can the Chicks find you? And
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: the new audiobook.
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: So you can find me on the Do You Fucking Mind? Podcast?
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: Good times, It is a good time, many good times,
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: many harsh, harsh statements like abuse you but nicely it's
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: called tough. It's like big sister advice. Yeahs so true. Yeah.
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: And the audiobook. You can find it on all like
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: so like Audible, Spotify, Spotify, Yeah, yeah, pretty much wherever
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: you get any any audiobooks. Yeah.
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for coming on again. It's always
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: a pleasure.
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: I can't wait to see you in ninety days. Yeah literally,
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: I'm not like this before and after.
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: We're checking in thirty days. You know how we're going.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: And thanks to your chicks for having us in your
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: ear holes.
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: We love to be here.
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: And thank you to m ik Made for making today's
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: episode happened.
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: Love you chicks, Bye chicks.
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: Wh