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10 Ways to Build Healthier, More Intentional Relationships in Your Life · Stacked Intent: Your Guide to Authentic, Intentional Living

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, my name is Becca Stackhouse Morrison, and I am ready for you to tune in each episode to hear ways to become you.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: Looking at ways you can be your authentic and intentional self, you'll finish each episode motivated to live life more authentically.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: I learned how to be truly me through relationships, chronic disease, finances, and taking each journey along the way.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Talk about the real aspects of life?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Of course.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Relationships, finance, nutrition, hardships, exercise are all topics that we will discuss.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Pull up a seat, drive safely down the road, or get into that workout groove to be challenged, motivated, and encouraged to be you.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: This is the Stacked Intent Podcast.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the next episode of the Stacked Intent Podcast.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Today we are gonna touch on some tips for teens and if you're headed towards marriage, what some of those ideas might be.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: So, number one, make sure if marriage is a top goal in your life, that you are doing some great things to prepare yourself to live a healthy relationship.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: The second one would be to kind of look at learning some relationship skills.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: So take advantage of those relationship classes or courses that might be offered around you through your school, through your church, through other community aspects.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: These courses are ones that can help us and be lots of fun.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: They can help us to learn relationship skills that happen with our dating relationships that might eventually turn into what our marriages look like.
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  SPEAKER_00: They can really help us in what our friendships look like.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: They can really help us in what our sibling relationships look like or our parents, or these relationship skills can even translate into your workplace.
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  SPEAKER_00: So really pick up on some skills and learn what healthy relationships look like versus what unhealthy relationships look like.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes we can get in this place of not thinking that we have relationship skills down, but we may miss those flags of what something is unhealthy that we are doing or that someone in our lives are doing.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's really important to learn and develop those relationship skills because, like anything we have in life, we have to develop and practice for that muscle to grow.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: The third aspect that you might want to look at is see how much of your education that you desire you get before you do place marriage in your life.
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  SPEAKER_00: Um, so graduate from high school.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Get your high school years out of the way.
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  SPEAKER_00: If you want to go to college and you want a four-year degree or a technical degree, or you want to work towards a higher degree, go ahead and try to accomplish some of those goals while you are single and able to really dedicate your time and energy to it.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing wrong with getting married before you're done with your education.
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  SPEAKER_00: So if that is a goal, make sure that that partner you choose is supportive of your educational goals.
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  SPEAKER_00: The fourth aspect is sex.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: So sex, it's important in our relationships, but sexual relationships are things that carry a whole lot of baggage um along with them.
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  SPEAKER_00: So sexual relationships within high school, middle school, younger relationships, they're gonna carry baggage with you throughout your entire life.
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  SPEAKER_00: So it's not just the fact that it carries this baggage, but there are also aspects that you could end up with in STD that can necessarily affect you for the rest of your life.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: You might end up with something with like AIDS, or you might happen to get pregnant, which babies aren't bad, but bad timing will make it really hard for you to accomplish those educational goals.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it can also end up with unhappy breakups.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: It it can make it hard for you to go back to a friend or a cordial relationship.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, most teens say that the sexual activities that they did they regret and wish they had waited because you can avoid some heartache, some regrets by waiting on sex until you're out of high school or until you have chosen to get married.
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  SPEAKER_00: So just a tip on looking at that aspect.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: And any relationship that starts in this upside-down triangle of starting with sex, it's gonna have a shaky and crumbling foundation from the beginning because you're going to, as you continue to date or see this person, see that it was only built on this physical relationship.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: You'll you might find that y'all don't have things in common that you don't know how to communicate, you don't know how to enjoy time together of like hiking, going to the movies, uh, going out to eat, enjoying some friend time.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: So it's really important just to think about the sex decision, and it's important to really think about what your decision is before you get put in a situation by yourself or just in an environment you get put in of what do you want your sexual decisions to be?
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  SPEAKER_00: That's important.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: To follow on top of that, it's important to build a relationship with someone that you can trust as a trusted adult.
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  SPEAKER_00: Um, this relationship can be with a parent, um, it can be with another adult.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Just it's finding somebody that you can trust to talk to.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's choosing how you're able to share your concerns, share your life, and carry those things.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Whether that's a parent, a grandparent, a friend, an aunt or an uncle, a parent's friend that's really close to you, that have experienced some life, and so they may be able to help talk you through what some of these baggage and relationship decisions might want to look like in your life.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Just remember that when we get our resources from our social media, our TV, our movies, our primetime TV shows, sometimes they're showing the beautified version of what a relationship can look like.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so they beautify these aspects of a relationship, and you may miss what something is and how something might be hard.
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  SPEAKER_00: The sixth one is look at marrying a little bit older.
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  SPEAKER_00: Because what this might do is it might let you really learn who you are before you decide to get married.
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  SPEAKER_00: And don't get me wrong, relationships that start in high school they can last, but you have to allow each other that space to grow.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: So everybody has their own timing for having kids, right?
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  SPEAKER_00: But if you are trying to finish some education goals or some life goals, um, waiting a little bit longer to have kids can help.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, because if one third of teens um never finish high school if you have a baby, uh having a child before you marry might cause problems within that relationship.
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  SPEAKER_00: And children that are of parents that don't necessarily want them may have risks that include things like depression, mental illnesses, school dropouts.
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  SPEAKER_00: They may become teen parankin' sees themselves, they may have tendencies for crime, poverty, substance abuse, and sometimes even suicide.
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  SPEAKER_00: Your eighth aspect is to be picky when you are choosing that person that you want to date because it's sometimes said that opposites attract, but sometimes that's not always true because then you don't have any common ground for any activities that you're gonna want to do.
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  SPEAKER_00: So this can be a very challenging aspect, but it's making sure that you know who you plan to be when you're in a committed relationship or when you're marrying someone.
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  SPEAKER_00: If you um wanna know someone, it's getting to know what someone's beliefs and values are, it's getting to know what their family life was like, uh, children.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it it's finding all these backgrounds, personalities, the beliefs, and goals for life that an individual have.
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  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes if those don't line up together, you're gonna create some controversy and conflict that's just gonna naturally occur if you're not real picky in who you're choosing.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: Let me just share one way I made sure I did that.
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  SPEAKER_00: Make a list for yourself.
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  SPEAKER_00: What are some non-negotiables that you want to take from someone that you are planning to commit your life to?
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  SPEAKER_00: What is one thing or two things or ten things?
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  SPEAKER_00: What is a list of things that are your non-negotiables?
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  SPEAKER_00: Now, some of those may change and flow and ebb and flow throughout your years, but not all of them will.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: But once you hit college or once you get out of college, really consider what living with someone means in your life of dating, in your life of friends.
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  SPEAKER_00: Um, sometimes you can be the best of friends with somebody, but living with them is totally gonna splice up that friendship and it's not gonna exist anymore.
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  SPEAKER_00: The other one is that it's sometimes it can be less satisfying, and if you do get married to that person that you're partnered, you may end up in a divorce because it was much different of living together than when you got married.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: So it's really thinking twice about that decision before you get there.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then the last one is if you are headed towards marriage out of high school, during college, out of college, you're at that stage in life, go ahead and take some kind of premarital education course so that maybe there's questions that come up in that course that y'all you wouldn't have thought of before.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: Find some ways to really incorporate getting to know that person on finances because that one is a key.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: Relationship aspects, and so many other aspects.
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  SPEAKER_00: So those are the 10 tips that I would have for you as you're a teen.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, some people expect to get married, some people never do.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Some people like to stay in committed relationships.
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  SPEAKER_00: Just know what you want and your values are, and make sure that's communicated well to the person that you're gonna choose to be your partner.
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  SPEAKER_00: So really think about that.
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  SPEAKER_00: Those are some 10 tips about marriage or dating or however you want to kind of look at that aspect.
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  SPEAKER_00: So, my challenge to you as a team, as an individual listening to this, is if you're looking for a partner, what are five non-negotiables for you that you want to be with?
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: That brings us to the end of this episode of Stacked Intent.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: If you love this episode as much as I did, head on over and rate and subscribe so you will never miss an episode.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: New episodes are going to be dropped on Thursdays.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: Until then, this is Becca and don't forget, enrich your life by being intentional.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast was created, produced, and recorded and edited by Staff Dent.