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Transcript

The Real Reason Your House Is Always a Mess · Not All Business

0:00
Good news. Your house isn't a mess because
0:03
you're lazy. It's a mess because you're
0:05
overwhelmed. The pile of mail on the counter,
0:08
the Amazon box you definitely meant to break down.
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The thing on the stairs that everyone like steps over, but no
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one puts it away. Every pile is something you
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haven't done, a decision you haven't made.
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This is decision fatigue. Today we're talking to Leslie
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Van Durbin, founder of Welcome Home Organizing, Staging and
0:29
Functional. As a Northern Colorado top three
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personal consulting service and 18 years in the business, Leslie
0:36
has seen some things she'll walk us through what Feng shui
0:40
actually is, not as woo woo as you think, why decluttering
0:43
without coaching never sticks, and how your bedroom might be
0:48
quietly sabotaging your love life.
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We also get into pranks, college party culture, and a rave where
0:55
someone asked about a different kind of bag.
0:57
Just another Thursday around here.
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So welcome to Not All Business, a podcast by two former CEOs who
1:03
went from competitors to friends.
1:05
I'm Blakely Graham and my Co host is Heather Cooper, and
1:09
we're joined by our producer Clay Canal.
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Now let's get down to business. OK, Welcome to the show,
1:22
everyone. Heather, Are you ready?
1:24
Oh, she's. Muted her.
1:26
She's on mute. I said I don't know, I feel like
1:30
you're going to say something to me.
1:31
Like you have something planned. You have the little bit of a
1:33
evil cack. Not cackle.
1:35
That's not nice. You don't cackle.
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You don't cackle. I don't know why I said that.
1:40
I meant well. Well, I mean that.
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Yeah, but you? I tried.
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Is that evil cackle I hope you can have up your sleeve.
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That's actually really embarrassing.
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We will. I don't have anything up my
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sleeve. Really, that was a lot of build
1:53
up for Are you ready? Are you ready?
1:55
And you got nothing on the other side of it.
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All I've got is Clay did turn in his mandatory waiver earlier and
2:05
so we are celebrating a little Cinco de Mayo.
2:16
I knew it. I knew you guys had something up
2:18
your sleeve. Do you have yours?
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Oh, I didn't get your mandatory waiver, Heather.
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But no, all I have is stupid water you guys are drinking
2:29
that's we're not allowed to drink in pod that's.
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The April holiday of the year. Not when this episode comes out,
2:36
but when this episode is being recorded.
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This is legit Heather's Heather. She's left us off.
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She's leaving. IAI have never had Heather flip
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me off before. Well, that's not true.
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We probably have that in the archives.
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Yeah, it's we have it somewhere on the hard drive, but.
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But where did? She go to the public.
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I know exactly she went to the fridge.
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I know, but her fridge is really far.
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She lives in this really large house.
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She's like going down this spiral staircase down this long
3:06
hallway to this fridge, like really far away.
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So we're going to have to stall for.
3:11
Two hours later, OK, she's back. Even a Matello.
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You don't do that without me, OK?
3:20
I don't know what you're talking about.
3:21
While I was gone. That was the perfect reaction.
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Can I read my text verbatim to to Blakely?
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Yeah. OK, I said, want to show up to
3:34
our recording tomorrow with a Margarita or a Modelo and not
3:37
tell Heather and make her mad and then like you said, yeah,
3:44
like you said, that's awesome. I'm in.
3:46
Oh my God. OK, it did.
3:48
It worked. I was like, wait, we agreed we
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wouldn't drink on the show, OK. My employer made it mandatory.
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It's mandatory to drink at work on Cinco de Mayo.
3:58
I did really appreciate the the commenter who commented on our
4:03
LinkedIn on the mandatory drinking and she's like, what
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about the non drinkers? I was like thank you, thank you
4:10
for bringing that up. Most people did, though some of
4:13
them did spend the night at the company, like on the couch.
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The next morning they walked in and they were.
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I'm sorry, what you did left out that part of the story that is
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not. It really wasn't, but it was
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like. Two waivers, right?
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That's a sleepover waiver and a drinking waiver.
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Was that all in one waiver? He was on H1B visa, so he wasn't
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from, you know, I mean, so it was like kind of his first time
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ever understanding how fun you. Used like power in the office of
4:43
him not understanding to have him drink and then sleep over.
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No, Blakely, he just didn't realize how what tequila does to
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a body. I don't know.
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I don't know. I I wasn't with him.
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I mean, I went home at like 7. Like I'm not out in.
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The morning. Yeah, I shouldn't.
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That's not true. But like, I didn't stay out late
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with all the young UNS. I had my fun.
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Then I went home like for old lady bedtime.
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And then they went on and on. And this guy, bless his heart,
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from India originally and they just had never celebrated Cinco
5:14
de Mayo and went a little too hard and woke up the next day
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wearing a sombrero on the couch in.
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The. Lobby OK, OK, I just this is.
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Wasn't great. Not a lawsuit, though.
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I mean, I do have, I have to say that it's a that's a pretty
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American experience. Did you like you walked away
5:34
understanding why we celebrate Cinco de Mayo?
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He. Did he loved it and was in like
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ended up getting his green card getting here and like was one of
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the major pushers of it from there on out.
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Loved it. There you go.
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But ironically, you know, Cinco de Mayo in Mexico is really not
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a big deal. No.
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Yeah, no, because I've been in Mexico at this time thinking it
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was going to be like the best party ever and it was done a big
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deal. They.
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Celebrate. Their own Independence Day.
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It it's, it's the United States. My understanding is that it's
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the United States. We celebrate it because we
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really wanted the Mexican to defeat the French.
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That was advantageous to us. So then they did.
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OK, well thanks for the history lesson.
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I never really got past just the beer, tequila and just excuse to
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go out and have fun, but now it feels.
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Warranted with every major holiday, by the way.
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Also, can we talk? About my intuitive I knew
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something was up with you when you guys first started I was
6:32
like, you made me cackle live they.
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They. Got something going on, so I'm
6:36
pretty proud of myself over. The play note to self, we need
6:41
to hide it way better. I'm obviously not a very good
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actor. I wait.
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But you if you watch this podcast, you see every
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expression just live happening all the time.
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It's just I can't I can't hold it back.
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There's no lie so. Are we drinking the beers or are
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we was that just a prop and I you guys your beers?
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Down. It's actually really hard.
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I've had a beer in like a year and so it's not going down easy.
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I don't know, Should I force that?
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Can I actually show you what my bottle looks like?
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It's so ridiculous. Like how big?
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This is that's. That's massive.
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That's the opposite of a modalito.
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Yeah, well, I went to the liquor store to go buy it and it was
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the last one. It's.
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Like a deuce. Deuce.
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Is that what they call those like the 22?
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It's because it's. Cinco de Mayo, get it in a paper
7:29
bag and walk back home the streets.
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Of yeah, that's what I want with your. 40, yeah.
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Your paper bag, It's only 24 oz. It's not quite a 40.
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While I was at the store, I did see, I was kind of just like
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looking through what else is in the store and I saw that they
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now sell. I don't go and buy single beers
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anymore, you know I'm not. Anymore.
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Did you ever? I don't know that I ever have.
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Like why get a case like economy of scale?
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OK, yeah, but. Not everyone is a millionaire,
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Blakely. OK, some people buy a pretty.
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Beer one at a time. It doesn't cost a lot of money
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to buy her like a case of Schlets and.
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OK, but let's talk about this because college kids are
8:14
drinking. I sound so ornery, but I just
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went to Boulder for a college grad weekend.
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Sorry I didn't stop and to hide Blakely.
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I know it's weird. I walked right into it.
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Why is it weird? Why?
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Because. You don't ever see me.
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Why wouldn't you say hi like you're in my town?
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I'm sorry I. Met you in a parking lot when I
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was driving through. Damn it.
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Like, I don't get it. Yeah, well, you really.
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Didn't I'm pissed I didn't hurt and feeling sorry I dropped.
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Cookies off. I dropped cookies off last time
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I was in the neighborhood. OK.
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Anyway, tell. Me your story.
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Dear friends from Michigan and college, their children went to
8:54
CSU and they just graduated, so it was really fun.
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So I got to see them. They were in town from Seattle,
8:58
year old stomping grounds and then Michigan.
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So they came in and then one party was from 12 to four and
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one was from 5:00 to 8:00 and I had to get home and it was a
9:05
whole. Anyway, I'm very concerned about
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the rate at which college kids are drinking alcohol because
9:13
back in my day you would like bong or beer or like shotgun
9:18
something. But they are drinking shots,
9:21
shots, shots, shots. Like every 20 minutes somebody
9:24
else is doing another shot. And I talked to my daughter
9:26
after and I was like, are you, is your liver OK?
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Like, do we need to go and make sure that everyone's organs are
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OK? Like, I just don't remember ever
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having hard alcohol at that pace and they.
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Take these jogs. Around now it to protect
9:42
themselves the girls they they do the what are they called the
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gallon jugs. Oh, they just all have like,
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covered, covered. It's covered.
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Yeah, there's a word they call it where it's, they fill it in
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with like alcohol, like they'll make the jungle juice or
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something and. Then.
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Carry it around the gallon and then that's their drink the
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whole night long. But there's like a ton of
10:05
alcohol in these. This is awful as someone who has
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two kids about ready to go to college.
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Did I tell you guys on the pod about Lula's experience at the
10:17
rave concert? I don't think so.
10:20
Should you? I don't know, but saying rave
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concert makes you sound. Really old.
10:24
OK, first of all, it wasn't a rave.
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She went to a concert. Concert.
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Have you heard about these? She rave.
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Concerts. They lit up a doobie.
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I take it back and she went to to a rave concert, to a rave,
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but not even like it was like a thing you paid money for.
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It was tickets on fair and field and it was a well known DJ.
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She's there and she's texting, texting me like the whole time
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because I'm like really nervous. She's 16 out of the college
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field, you know, but she's with all our friends.
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They promise to stick together. And then she starts texting me.
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She's like, this is so much fun. I've just met the nicest girls
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that go to school here and I'm like, OK, great, have fun.
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And then she goes, oh, mom, oh, something just happened.
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And I'm like, oh, OK, like what just happened?
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She's like, you remember those nice girls?
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And I'm like, yeah, She's like, well, they just were like, they
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just asked me. Like, they were just saying that
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they wanted a new bag. And I said, oh, have you gone on
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to Depop lately? They have the best selection of
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bags. Nope.
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Different kind of bag. I mean, bless her.
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Heart. Oh, we actually mean a different
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kind of bag. And she writes.
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She was like, mom, I think they were talking about cocaine and
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I'm like, yes, they are getaway. She's like, don't worry.
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She's like, I already texted Luke.
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He's on his way to pick me up, but she's just dying because
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she's like recommending Depop. I'm like, what's Depop?
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Like a reseller of bags. I have no even idea.
12:13
No, it's a famous DJ. So Depop, I don't think.
12:17
So Depop is great. You can buy great stuff off
12:19
Depop. Well, let's.
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You know Depop. It's like a, you know, kids are
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actually making a lot of money on Depop because you can you go
12:27
and you pick through like the behind the thrift store when
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they get all the shipments and you can go in and buy like
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textiles by the pound. So you go and you search through
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all the stuff you buy the stuff that you think is going to sell.
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Then you buy it, you know, buy weight basically.
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And then you find vintage stuff that's really cool.
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You put it on Depop for 25, forty, 505 dollars.
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Make some good money. It's a lot of work.
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Heather Ryan Coral's son does that.
13:00
He's a full on business. He has a Depop shop.
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Yep. Ryan Coral's son is like still
13:05
four years old. So I don't, I don't even
13:07
understand. I don't know how to work that.
13:08
That's just we are getting. Yeah, but you, you get known as
13:12
like a, if you're, if you have a Depop like shop, you get known
13:15
for your aesthetics and then people follow you and then they
13:18
see it's basically a store, you know, and then you create your
13:22
own brand identity and you find good stuff and then people
13:24
follow you, designers follow you and then you get picked up and
13:28
then your stuff gets in shows and or you know, music videos,
13:32
whatever. And it's really cool.
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Kids can make good money so. I am glad my daughter knows
13:37
about D pop bags and not cocaine bags.
13:41
But going back, Heather, they are drinking a lot more I think.
13:44
And like here the culture is the girls are doing coke and the
13:49
boys are doing ketamine at all these frat parties and you're
13:52
like, are you serious? Like, come on.
13:56
I've never even seen cocaine, but you know what I have seen?
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I've seen what? I've never seen it.
14:05
I feel like it's obviously high school bathrooms around here.
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Are you hanging out in high school bathrooms?
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Also. Looking for cocaine, What's
14:15
going on with you lately? But I don't know how you haven't
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seen it. I just, I've never seen
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pervasive like huh, OK. I guess I must give off like I
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don't do cocaine vibes. I have cocaine.
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I have never done cocaine, but I have seen.
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I don't know. The cocaine was pretty long
14:35
after I saw. I'd have never seen it.
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I think you were. Like, you know, I do not lie.
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I have never, ever done cocaine. But you said I will.
14:45
I have seen it, Yeah. How did we get here?
14:47
How did we get there? I know this is what happens when
14:51
you start when you start the the beer.
14:54
OK, what what I was going to say because tackle and.
14:57
Snort now. Gosh, this show is bad.
15:00
But you've never done cocaine. She's like, I'm snorting all the
15:04
time but oh I. Meant like a laugh snort.
15:07
Did you? Yeah.
15:09
OK. So our guest today, we have had
15:13
so much fun in thrift shops. So we're transitioning.
15:17
Are we, Are you ready to or did you have another story?
15:19
Yeah. No, I was just not ready.
15:22
OK, I'm ready, prepared. For it.
15:24
Well, I keep talking about her shops without talking about
15:26
Leslie, so let's just bring Leslie on.
15:28
Let's talk. Welcome to the show.
15:31
Let's leave it. OK.
15:32
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15:40
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15:43
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15:46
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16:07
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16:20
Certifiedwayfinder.lifecoachfinder@franciswalshcoaching.com. Hi everybody, Leslie's the
16:33
coolest. Person I know to be honest,
16:35
she's always like so I was at this concert last weekend and we
16:38
da da da da. You have such a way of finding
16:40
fun. So quick background on Leslie
16:44
van der Vin. She's the first person that I
16:45
met when we moved to Colorado in 2012.
16:48
All those wow yes the very first person I met, she was lived 2
16:53
doors down. We found this little rental and
16:56
she lived 2 doors down from me and we have been friends all of
17:01
these years since. Even though you didn't want
17:04
anymore friends, Even though I did when you first moved here.
17:08
Here's I wasn't an asshole Blakely.
17:11
What happened was we met, she was very kind.
17:13
You had just had a baby and you had this is one of my favorite
17:16
stories about Leslie. She's like a crazy athlete, like
17:19
crazy athlete pro this, that and the other thing.
17:23
So she had to have surgery because she didn't have enough.
17:27
What was it? Fat on your stomach went to you
17:31
like your abs split, like your muscle broke because you didn't
17:34
have enough fat when you had your baby.
17:37
No, it's no. It's called diastasis recti.
17:40
It's when you're pregnant and your AB muscles are too tight
17:45
and instead of spreading when you get pregnant, they RIP apart
17:51
to make room for the baby. So my abdominal muscles ripped
17:55
really far. Like way far.
17:57
I think it happens to everyone to a certain.
17:59
Extent that happened to me, but. Yeah, like a little bit, but not
18:03
so far where you could literally stick both of your hands inside
18:06
of your abdominal cavities. So yeah, I had just had surgery.
18:10
I had a baby and then I had to have surgery to repair my
18:14
internal abdominal wall. Wow.
18:18
Yeah. And I was like, so this is what
18:20
a Colorado mom looks like. We didn't have any of these
18:23
issues in Michigan. So, yeah.
18:25
So I think I, I don't know, I like helped you with something.
18:28
We we were, we were friends. And then she's like, OK, you're
18:30
new to town. I'm going to set up lunches.
18:32
She was so kind because she's so well connected and everybody
18:35
knows Leslie. She's like, let me get you.
18:37
And I was like, actually, you know what?
18:38
I'm good with just you. Like, I just want you to because
18:41
we left a bunch of huge community and lots of demands on
18:44
our time came. Wanted to just kind of settle as
18:46
a family for a little bit, not knowing everybody.
18:49
So that was the context. I wasn't.
18:51
Yeah, the guy was so lonely when I moved here.
18:53
I didn't know any anybody. I would have done anything to
18:56
have a friend. When I first moved here, I was
18:58
pregnant and didn't have any friends.
19:00
So when you moved here from Michigan, I was like.
19:04
I'll be your friend. Yeah, and you were?
19:06
And you have. Them also is it snowing outside
19:09
Leslie? It's completely.
19:11
Yeah, it's. It's OK, it'll be 86 on Tuesday.
19:14
That's Heather. That's why you said the weather
19:16
is ruining your Cinco de Mayo, Yes?
19:19
It's snowing. We're supposed to get 5 to 8
19:21
inches tomorrow. Yeah, Oh my gosh.
19:23
We're having a winter storm watch.
19:25
It's not crazy. Watch like we're in it.
19:28
And it's canceling my in day fun day with with Blakely.
19:32
Yeah, yeah. And graduations next weekend.
19:34
But as Leslie says, it's supposed to be 80, so fine,
19:37
yeah. It'll be fine.
19:39
So, OK, so the whole thrift shop conversation, what made me say
19:42
we need to bring Leslie on is because she is an absolute
19:45
expert in spaces. And so over all of these years
19:48
that we've known each other, she has been able to help me
19:51
understand what does it mean to declutter?
19:54
What is that effect on our mind? And she opened up a company
19:58
called Welcome Home, Organizing, staging and Feng shui tell us
20:03
the impact on the psyche. It's just so interesting.
20:06
It's one of the first things she taught me about our spaces.
20:09
And why do they have such a profound effect on how we feel,
20:13
think function? Yeah, well, we were talking
20:17
about your house, that rental house, and you were telling me
20:20
how stressed out you were every time you just come home, you're
20:23
just, God, I'm so everything's just bugging me.
20:26
I feel like I'm never doing my work or, you know, never getting
20:30
stuff done. And so I was like, OK, well,
20:33
let's let me let me see your space.
20:35
Like what's going on that that you feel this way?
20:38
And we walked in the front door. I'm like, well, the first thing
20:41
that you see when you walk in the front door of your home is
20:44
your desk. And you have this massive desk
20:47
with your papers and computer. Like that is literally the first
20:50
thing that you see when you come home.
20:52
That's a terrible place. Work desk.
20:56
Yeah, yeah. So and I, you know, your house
21:01
was sort of like the flip version of my house and I had my
21:06
desk where we eventually put your desk.
21:09
And I remember we just rearranged your whole house.
21:12
Yeah, we put and we brought the piano, so that was where the
21:15
piano was. And so we brought the piano up.
21:17
So that was the first thing when we walked in the front door,
21:20
there's this beautiful piano to the left.
21:23
And then I didn't see, I didn't walk in the front door and feel
21:26
like I was failing. You know how you walk past,
21:29
right? Full of papers and pills behind?
21:32
Yeah. It was the energy which I've
21:34
still carried in my house today, the first thing you walk into.
21:36
We made that a music room instead of an office.
21:39
And. So, yeah, yeah.
21:41
So that visual clutter, it's, it's visual noise.
21:45
It's it's just visual noise. It's just a reminder of the
21:49
things that you haven't done yet.
21:51
You know, it's like having exercise equipment in your
21:54
bedroom or your work stuff in your bedroom.
21:57
They're just reminders. They're they're like awake with
22:01
noise. What about that?
22:03
Tunnel Heather right there in the bedroom.
22:06
Like you wake up in the morning and you're like, Heather, it's
22:10
time to do some push ups, Heather.
22:11
Yeah. So there's a reason for that.
22:13
It's so I can do it naked because I hate having to get
22:18
dressed into uncomfortable workout clothes.
22:21
You just can do it naked or with underwear at least.
22:24
You are telling us, including the listeners, that the reason
22:29
you put your tonal in your bedroom is because you only like
22:31
to work on naked. That is weird.
22:34
OK, I don't like to call people that, but that's.
22:37
To work out naked but I would, but I do.
22:41
Not like if I had to tear down. Your kids are gone.
22:45
Yeah, from the house. You should be able to be naked
22:47
anywhere you want in your house, but I'm not.
22:50
Do not need exercise equipment in your bedroom.
22:52
I'm not going to walk down from the bedroom all the way to the
22:55
basement where is where I I could put then naked.
22:58
I'm not going to do that. Why not?
22:59
Because I don't want to work out naked.
23:01
I just don't also don't want to get dressed so it removes the
23:03
excuse. I do not watch my pip for pop
23:07
videos. I work out in my in my work
23:09
clothes because I don't want to like get out and put on the
23:11
spandex in the. Bra well, everyone has an issue
23:14
or a rationalization for for, you know, breaking the rules of
23:19
Feng shui. Thank you.
23:20
Well, OK, yeah, yeah. You're breaking the rules.
23:24
OK, well let's get into that. What are some rules for people
23:26
who who don't aren't familiar with Feng Shui?
23:29
What are some general concepts? First of all, let's just say
23:32
what it is because a lot of people throw that word around.
23:35
They say thank you, Feng shui or whatever.
23:38
So Feng shui, it's not as Wu Wu as as people think it is or make
23:43
it sound. It's a 3000 year old Chinese
23:47
philosophy about harmonizing people with their environment.
23:52
It's, you know, first of all about clearing clutter, clearing
23:58
the energy flow of the house. It's about balancing the five
24:02
elements in your home to create harmony, using elements that,
24:06
you know, fire, metal, water, wood, earth, and using all of
24:12
those elements to have a balance in the home.
24:16
It's about placement, about your furniture position.
24:19
So when you want, everybody knows how it feels when you walk
24:24
into a room and you're greeted by the back of the couch, it's
24:26
not very welcoming. What I do is to come up with
24:31
sort of a recipe for the room based on how the people who live
24:36
there are feeling and and need to function.
24:39
So I'm not going to say this is the rule.
24:42
This is how your bed has to be. If you don't like it that way,
24:45
then we don't need to put it that way.
24:47
I'll come up with a solution you know that fits your needs.
24:52
One of the things I appreciated about you the most is that you
24:55
work with what I you worked with what I already have.
24:59
So you're not a, you're not a redesign.
25:01
You're not coming in and designing a space and costing me
25:04
thousands and thousands of dollars to renovate a space.
25:06
You're saying, OK, let's look at what you have and so take us
25:09
through your process about how, I mean, you helped me get rid of
25:12
stuff that I was emotionally attached.
25:14
I thought I was emotionally attached to take us through your
25:17
process. When someone hires you, what's
25:20
the first step? The first step is just having a
25:22
conversation. I want to make sure that I am a
25:26
good fit and we are a good fit, and also that this isn't a job
25:32
that's beyond my scope. Meaning hoarding, because
25:36
hoarding is a whole nother level and it depends what what they
25:40
what they need. So first just a conversation.
25:42
I want to understand your goals. I want to get to know you.
25:46
A lot of people. It's confusing.
25:48
I actually spoke with a a woman yesterday.
25:50
She's like, there's so many people on the Internet who are
25:54
professional organizers, so I don't even know how this works.
25:57
And so anyone can take a class or be good at organizing.
26:04
And where I come from, like you said in the beginning, Heather,
26:07
is this is spatial awareness and promoting an environment that
26:13
supports your life. That's where I'm coming from.
26:16
I'm not going to go to the container store and buy a bunch
26:19
of clear containers with labels and make you put your dry pasta
26:23
in them and line them up in descending order on the counter.
26:25
Like that to me is ridiculous. Blakely.
26:29
Blakely covering her eyes. If.
26:32
That's your, if that's your deal, that's awesome.
26:35
That's not what I do. And I don't want to, you know, I
26:40
don't want to buy organizational products that you don't need
26:43
because I feel like those products take up more space.
26:46
So my job is to sort of diagnose the situation, the people who
26:51
live there and what their goals are for the space.
26:54
And most of the time when people call me, they're not even sure.
26:57
Sometimes it's like, well, it's it's obvious I can't get get
27:01
into my storage room and I need help organizing it or I can't
27:06
function. I can't work, I can't sleep, my
27:09
kids won't go to sleep, my house is a mess.
27:12
I need help. After that first initial phone
27:16
conversation, we'll set up a one hour in home consultation and
27:19
that's the time where I can meet my clients face to face.
27:22
We can decide if we like each other.
27:24
I can see the project and we can come up with an action plan.
27:29
I'll tell the person how many people I I think we'll need, you
27:32
know, how many helping hands, what materials we might need and
27:37
how long I think it the project will take.
27:39
And all the projects are a little bit different.
27:41
So with the hoarding, like I would, that was interesting when
27:44
you're like, I don't do hoarding.
27:46
So have you been surprised where you've shown up to an
27:48
appointment and then you're like, this is beyond me.
27:50
Like I've never seen that in real life.
27:52
What it what is this person who's a hoarder?
27:54
What does that look like? First of all, hoarding is a
27:58
psychological condition. The number one step for someone
28:03
who's truly a hoarder is to have professional psychological help.
28:08
If someone says to me on the phone in their initial phone
28:11
call, oh, I'm kind of a hoarder, I'm a hoarder.
28:15
I know for a fact they're not. Kind of recognizing.
28:18
It Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that what they're
28:21
saying is I saved too many things and I have a problem
28:25
getting rid of things. That person I can help, it's the
28:28
person whose home I go into and they really want to hire me.
28:33
And I have to say I'm sorry. I'm not the right fit for this.
28:36
Job. Let's talk about what about
28:38
getting rid of things, because especially whether it's in your
28:40
house, whether it's your storage room, whether it's your office.
28:43
I mean, I've got things in books and papers where it's just like
28:46
I need, there's decisions that need to be made, right?
28:49
And I'm already just getting through my day at decision
28:52
fatigue, usually by one 2:00 PM or I'm kind of done.
28:56
And so those things pile up because there's a decision that
28:58
needs to be made. How do you help people get rid
29:01
of stuff? OK, so.
29:04
During that one hour consultation, we start with the
29:08
coaching. This all starts with the
29:10
coaching and I have a list that I've put together and it's
29:14
called Questions to consider while Decluttering.
29:18
And at the top of this, it's like a handout.
29:21
And we'll go over at the top of it.
29:23
I have a of a quote that it's all about actually, I'll just
29:28
read it to you. It's by Marianne Williamson.
29:32
You must learn a a new way to think before you master a new
29:37
way to be. And so this is where the process
29:40
begins, not by organizing your books and like color coding your
29:45
books, but by changing the way that you think.
29:49
So I start with the questions to consider before we start.
29:53
And the first question is, what are your goals?
29:57
What are your goals for this space?
29:59
And what are your goals for your life?
30:01
And how can we create an environment, clean up, organize,
30:04
stage, whatever it is your environment to support whatever
30:08
your goals are. So anytime someone gives me an
30:10
excuse for holding on to something that no longer serves
30:13
a purpose, I can go back to, well, how does this support your
30:17
goals? And then we go through this
30:20
whole list of of questions like, do I have enough space for this?
30:24
Is it important just because I'm looking at it right now?
30:29
If I didn't already own it, would I go out and buy it?
30:35
Whole list of questions. And then my next handout is a
30:39
list of rationalizations and excuses that people think and
30:44
say while they're going through this process.
30:48
And everyone has everyone has the same ones.
30:52
And I go over it in the beginning because inevitably
30:56
they're going to hear themselves say it while.
30:58
We. While we do this, I'll, you
31:01
know, I'll, I'll pick something up and say, OK, do you want to
31:04
donate this or let it go? Oh, well, that was a gift.
31:08
I can't I. Can't throw that away.
31:09
So that's one of the excuses. That was a gift.
31:12
It was a gift. OK, so what's your comeback to
31:14
that? When they say that was a gift?
31:16
What? Do you?
31:16
What is your goal? Well, it was a gift.
31:20
OK, Who gave it? Tell me more.
31:22
Tell me more. It was.
31:23
Who gave it to you? Oh, well, it was a gift from my
31:27
sister-in-law, who it's a, you know, a mug from Disney World
31:31
from my sister-in-law. She went there seven years ago
31:34
with her kids. And, you know, I don't even like
31:36
my sister-in-law and she never comes over.
31:39
And so if I just ask them the more questions, eventually they
31:45
answer it for themselves. And they're like, I don't need
31:48
this stupid mug from Disney World.
31:50
Just, you know, but at first the excuses, it was a gift.
31:55
Somebody put their heart and soul into it.
31:57
So when I probe For more information, eventually they
32:01
they figure it out for themselves.
32:03
So it's not my job to tell people what they should and
32:05
should not keep. It is my job to help them figure
32:08
it out for themselves. Do you ever have the opposite
32:11
problem? Like I throw out everything,
32:13
like I just away it all goes away and my husband is gets so
32:18
mad at me because he's like, well, we're going to need that
32:20
someday. Like really, are we going to
32:22
need that someday? He's.
32:24
Yeah, there's a difference between necessity and perception
32:28
of necessity. And people get into trouble with
32:33
accumulating too much stuff because there is a serious
32:37
perception of necessity. And that's where these questions
32:41
come in. OK, how hard would it be to
32:44
replace that item if you found you really needed it?
32:48
Is it a family heirloom or is it like an extra coffee pot you're
32:53
keeping in the garage? Yeah, we have three, maybe 4.
32:58
So it's true we do that with propane tanks.
33:01
Because they're more expensive, like then you have to like go
33:03
and buy it again. But we have like 5-6 propane
33:05
tanks that we can never use and they take up so much.
33:08
Space. So much space.
33:09
So that my question is do you have enough space for this and
33:14
how does keeping 6 propane tanks help you solve your problem?
33:19
So you called me because. So how does keeping it or
33:24
getting rid of it help you solve your problems?
33:26
So I can coach people into making those just the right
33:31
decision for themselves. And then I also provide the, the
33:35
manual labor, the, the support that it takes.
33:37
So you know, the work that my helpers and I can get done in 4
33:41
hours is stuff that you haven't been able to do in 10 years.
33:45
She cleaned out my whole basement in four hours.
33:47
We talked a lot about around the intention and the goal setting
33:49
and the consultation part of what Leslie does.
33:52
But what we didn't get to is the execution.
33:54
And the execution is fucking flawless.
33:57
Like she comes in and she creates like your own garage
34:00
sale for yourself. So her and her team come in and
34:03
we'll empty out a drawer and they're lining up pens and
34:05
quarters, You know what I mean? I mean, it's everything.
34:08
And they do it so fast. So then you're just walking and
34:10
being like, throw it away this pile.
34:12
Then they take it, they take away the garbage, they take you,
34:14
you go, what? We're going to donate this.
34:17
So you're just, you're just decision.
34:18
And when you hit a block of decision fatigue, then she comes
34:21
and she's like, OK, well, tell me about this.
34:22
And then she just asks you questions through it.
34:24
So I'm not kidding when I say in a four hour block we did my
34:28
entire basement getting ready. For the stand.
34:31
Finish and your garage. And my oh, we did do the garage.
34:34
Or is that a different? Is that?
34:35
No, that was a separate. Session with the dumpster, but
34:38
like it was just how fast it goes because they have no
34:42
emotion they're not getting tripped up on.
34:43
Oh, let me look through this photo.
34:44
Yeah, in the middle of cleaning stuff.
34:46
But that's where, you know, because some people need to talk
34:49
through it, Yeah. And that's OK, as long as I have
34:53
all hands on deck. When I have two or three
34:55
helpers, they work for me and I work for you.
35:00
So if you need to tell me a story about Grandma's brooch,
35:04
I'm there to listen. And my people are doing other
35:07
things. Somebody's pulling, somebody's
35:09
staging, somebody's taking boxes out, somebody's loading up a
35:12
car, someone's taking out the trash, someone's cleaning.
35:15
So that you can go through your emotional process with me and I
35:20
can coach you through it. Because we attach emotions and
35:25
memories and relationships to objects.
35:32
Wow, when you say it like that, I'm like gosh that's wrong.
35:35
Like we had a bedroom set passed down through generations, like a
35:39
huge bedroom set with chest of drawers and whatever bed frame.
35:43
And my dad had it like meticulously redone every little
35:48
nook and cranny. And I'm thinking this came down
35:51
from my great grandparents who had no money.
35:54
So it was like a cheap piece of furniture to begin with.
35:57
And yet it became this like family heirloom.
35:59
And then like, what do you do with it?
36:01
And the kids, like my brother and sister and I, like we don't
36:04
want it, you know? But there was so much emotion
36:08
tied to it and thank goodness, I actually, I have no idea where
36:12
it is anymore. And I I'm really grateful
36:14
because I didn't want it. No one wanted it.
36:17
It doesn't represent your relationship with your dad or
36:21
his dad or or anything. But I feel his pain because he
36:24
got it. Like, I see his emotion in it,
36:27
you know, so. I had a client in the Cherry
36:30
Creek area, really nice area, who had this massive wooden
36:35
dining table. And he was moving from a big
36:38
house in Cherry Creek to an apartment, like a 2 bedroom
36:42
apartment. And this table was like 1 big
36:45
slab of wood that could see, I don't know, 12-14 people at it.
36:51
And he was so distraught over this handmade table.
36:55
And he said I have gotten a divorce, all of my kids are
37:01
grown and who have moved out of the house.
37:02
I have to sell the house. I'm downsizing everything.
37:06
I can't fit this table in my new place and I'm having a real
37:11
emotional struggle with this, he said.
37:14
I know I will never forget all the birthdays and Thanksgivings
37:18
and Christmases at this table. There was so much joy at this
37:22
table. How can I get rid of this table?
37:26
And I said, well, hold up, you just said I'll never forget
37:31
because it wasn't the table that created the memories for you.
37:34
It was the people sitting at the table and the table's not going
37:39
to fit through the door. So take a picture of it and put
37:41
it on your refrigerator. So let's say you successfully
37:47
get through these declutter decisions and you fight all
37:51
these excuses. I'm speaking from personal lived
37:56
experience of when we declutter, we feel so good, like we can
38:01
feel how good it is. And then there is probably one
38:07
week before we slide right back into our old patterns.
38:11
So how do you create lasting change?
38:14
Good question. Well, you probably decluttered
38:18
without a coach. Well, sure, yeah.
38:21
Once you hear what I have to say, you can.
38:23
You can never unhear it. And I have clients who reach out
38:28
to me or clients that I'll see maybe a year later or even 2
38:33
years later and they'll say you're, you have been in my
38:36
head. Every time I look at something,
38:40
you're in my head. I hear your voice because you
38:43
just can't unhear it. You can't unhear yourself.
38:46
Say, oh, well, that was a gift. I can't get rid of it.
38:49
Or it was really expensive. I can't get rid of it.
38:52
Oh, that's worth a lot of money. I can't get rid of it.
38:55
So you're not. You're reforming retraining
38:58
patterns in our brains. Neuroplasticity, it's, it's all
39:04
about the way that you think. And a lot of my coaching
39:08
actually comes from, and I'll give James clear the the credit.
39:11
Is that a book called Atomic Habits?
39:14
I'm sure you've all heard of it. Read it or anything.
39:18
I mean, that's kind of my Bible, right?
39:21
It's it's my Bible. He talks about goals versus
39:25
systems and motion versus action, motion versus action.
39:29
That's a really big one. If you have not read the book, I
39:32
have the notes. A lot of people think that
39:36
getting organized is just like shifting things around in their
39:41
home. Well, if I just tidy up the
39:43
stack of papers on my desk and I put all the pens back in the pen
39:47
cup and I put all the clothes upstairs, then I've organized.
39:52
But that's not really organizing.
39:55
That's just being in motion. You're just shifting things
39:58
around. True organizing starts with
40:00
decluttering. True organizing would be like
40:03
opening up a drawer and emptying the entire thing out and
40:07
throwing away the majority of what's in there.
40:10
And then everything having its place, like that's the, that's
40:13
the output of it. It's like you emptied the drawer
40:16
and then you're putting it back in.
40:17
But it's going in an organized way.
40:18
So it's like pens go here. And then from now on, pens
40:21
always just go there. Like everything has its place.
40:23
Yeah. I'm going to throw my husband
40:25
under the bus, which I know he listens to this religiously.
40:28
And so I'm just going to start with, I love you so much.
40:31
But sometimes, like when we're in the kitchen, we have like one
40:36
of those open floor plans, which is hard for clutter.
40:40
But sometimes we're like, OK, 5 minutes.
40:43
We're just going to like clean this space up.
40:45
And I'll just sit back and watch him because he'll like pick up a
40:49
pen and he'll look at it And then he'll like, oh, OK, And
40:53
I'll put it over there. And then he'll like pick up a
40:55
cup and he'll be like, and then he'll just like say it over here
41:00
because we don't actually have like there's no system or
41:02
anything. And so.
41:04
Yeah, so creating. Systems we're just like spinning
41:07
our wheels and it's just it's pretty funny, but it's also.
41:11
You've got to have a you've got to have a place for everything.
41:14
First of all, you want to make sure that you're only keeping
41:16
stuff that you need want use, appreciate like where you know
41:21
on a daily basis. That's that's the first.
41:24
My philosophy is the best way to stay organized is just to have
41:28
less stuff. Stop spending money, stop Amazon
41:32
shipping. Right.
41:33
Like yes. Yeah, just have less stuff.
41:36
Don't buy products to organize your shit that you don't need.
41:39
Yeah, stop buying organizational products and like things to hang
41:43
stuff in the in the closet. Like just get rid of half of
41:46
what's in there and you don't need any organizational
41:48
products. When you after you first came in
41:50
and did my closet, I now I always think of you in my closet
41:55
because if ever I buy something, something else has to go, like I
41:59
don't have to go hangers. Well, I'm doing 1 to one now.
42:03
That's good, but it's just like, get what?
42:06
What are you? I've seen your closet.
42:07
I'm. Gonna go shopping?
42:09
Well, that's why it's one well. One to one doesn't make sense
42:13
for you. I'm sorry Hun.
42:14
I love you dearly but your closet is massive and
42:17
overflowing. You yourself said you had a pile
42:20
of stuff buried higher than you remember on the last podcast.
42:26
It's one to two. One thing comes in, 2 comes out.
42:28
That is my coaching. Advice.
42:29
I have a lot of laundry that I need to do this weekend.
42:32
Are you airing my dirty laundry right now on this podcast?
42:35
Why this podcast was created? I guess this comes to my next
42:42
question is I have 3 roommates and I would say out of the four
42:48
of us we're all bad roommates like myself included.
42:51
We are not. We do not help each other here.
42:54
So sometimes I like to pretend I'm the organized and clean 1.
42:58
So like let's just pretend that for a second.
43:00
What do I do about my 3 bad roommates?
43:02
Do we all need a coach? Like is this family therapy?
43:06
Leslie, before you jump in, you should know that Blakely, don't
43:09
you have children who are literally about to leave the
43:11
house? So like be Advent just that
43:13
little added detail. I feel like I'm.
43:15
Kind of excited to be. Honest, but they're about to go
43:20
be other people's roommates. Yeah.
43:23
When the things in your house don't have a home.
43:28
When you tell your kids to clean up, that's like the vaguest
43:32
thing in the world to them. They don't know what clean up
43:37
means. Be clear.
43:40
So you you, if you and your roommates have different ideas
43:43
of what that means, you're all just going to be frustrated with
43:46
each other. We are.
43:47
That's why we're excited about college.
43:51
Well, their roommates aren't going to be very excited, but
43:54
they. Learn that happened to my kids,
43:57
but let's what about clean up the dinner table?
43:59
Put put the dishes away? Well, to one kid that means
44:02
specific from the kitchen table to the sink and they've put away
44:08
their their dish right versus no in our house, that means rinse
44:12
it and put it in the dishwasher or like, what are those defined
44:15
things? Now, I did try to say that and
44:17
they they ignored me. So this is not a perfect system.
44:20
That's a whole. That's a.
44:21
Whole another. Podcast my My kids know exactly
44:25
where everything lives, where it's go, what it means.
44:28
Do they do it? No, they don't.
44:30
That's enough to that's enough to drive you crazy.
44:32
But at the end of the day, you really are only in charge of
44:35
your own behavior. So the family question is
44:37
totally valid and but it's a it's a tough one.
44:40
Let's take it back to your own, your office, your workspace.
44:45
Oh. I was just about to ask that.
44:47
Good job, Heather. You were OK.
44:49
Good read my mind, yeah. Well, how?
44:51
How are you going to ask it? Well, I was just thinking more
44:55
just like all these principles were talking about home and the
44:58
feeling like I am so much calmer at home when we are dealing
45:05
with, you know, a decluttered space.
45:08
And I just was wondering if that translates to work environment.
45:11
And I guess you don't get organizing baskets because you
45:14
don't believe in organizing baskets.
45:17
How do you bring this to the workplace?
45:20
You know, you, you have different intentions in your
45:22
workspace. You want to be clear, you want
45:25
to be alert. So that's where I kind of bring
45:28
Feng shui into the picture with work, of course, the same organ,
45:32
you know, decluttering and organize.
45:33
You don't want your workspace filled with junk or things that
45:36
you don't need or use for work. So start there with your
45:39
workspace and make sure that you don't have things you're not,
45:43
you know, bringing. Oh, well, I forgot my lunch bag,
45:46
so I bring another lunch bag and I forgot that lunch bag.
45:48
So I have another and you have 8 18 coffee cups.
45:50
So make sure that your workspace is is clear and clean, but also
45:56
you want to bring in elements that inspire you.
45:59
So I was actually working with a gentleman.
46:04
Clay, are you cleaning up? Look at Heather.
46:13
I was actually working with, I was doing a, a virtual letter, a
46:18
virtual consultation with a gentleman in Illinois.
46:23
He just started a new job and can you do this?
46:26
Virtually. Too.
46:27
I do. I got good at that during COVID.
46:30
During COVID, I started doing virtual consultations and people
46:34
just, you know, FaceTime and bring me around your house and
46:36
we talk and I look at it. So anyway, his, his new office
46:40
space, he's a Army or Air Force recruiter.
46:43
And the office that they gave him was full of furniture.
46:47
Everything was Gray, everything was metal.
46:51
The, the window was blocked. It was, it just was dismal.
46:57
You just want to go in there and die like there's it was so
47:03
depressing. And by bringing in, you know,
47:07
more elements of, of wood and earth and color and warmth,
47:12
there was, you know, fluorescent lights.
47:14
So, you know, when you're in your office again, bring it back
47:18
to how do you want to feel? How do you want to function?
47:21
Everyone has their own tastes. So, you know, I'm looking in the
47:24
backgrounds of all of your, your videos and you all have
47:26
different tastes and things on the walls and things that
47:29
inspire you. So I would never tell someone
47:32
what to hang on the walls or what to use.
47:35
But there are certain things that make you feel and perform
47:40
and stay awake. You know the lighting is is
47:43
really important in your for office space, having some plant
47:48
like at least one plant in there something alive feel.
47:51
Free to roast us right now based on our backgrounds.
47:54
Like just. I don't know what's going on
47:56
behind you, Clay. You've got all kinds of things.
47:59
I was always curious and watching.
48:01
I don't know what all that is. I don't either.
48:03
None of us really know. I'm actually still trying to
48:06
figure it out. Is it just drawings back there
48:09
and photos? It's just like artwork that I've
48:12
done, like just things about, like ideas I've created or like
48:16
I've experimented with things, or I like that or that reminds
48:19
me of this, or just things. So you're doing a good job.
48:22
It's, yeah, creative and inspiring.
48:24
So number one, it kind of depends on what your job is.
48:27
And you know, you're spending all day.
48:29
If you're working all day, you're spending all day in this
48:31
room. You want it to be comfortable.
48:33
You don't want to have a headache at the end of the day.
48:36
Mine is. I'll share.
48:37
Mine is the, it's hard to see the whole picture.
48:42
My whole picture up there, you can kind of see it's pretty.
48:45
So why I love this and I can see it in the mirror across from me
48:50
with that I look at so I can just look up the darkness behind
48:54
it represented just a very difficult time several years ago
48:59
that I went through. And then all all of the color
49:03
and the green and the growth. You can see how it's like
49:06
creeping up and kind of covering it.
49:08
So it's still incorporated. It's still back there and it's
49:11
still part of the growth that now I'm experiencing.
49:14
But when I first came across that in the store that it just
49:16
spoke to me and I said, this is wow, this is it and so many
49:20
different things. So whenever I'm feeling
49:22
overwhelmed or like I'll never get through this or this is
49:24
really tough, I just look up. I see it in the mirror and I
49:28
just find a little spot. I'm like, OK, this is the growth
49:31
area right now and it just keeps me focused.
49:34
So that that brings me to probably the most important part
49:38
of of all of this, and that's intention, is that choosing with
49:43
intention. And when we go through this
49:45
process in your home together, I'm going to, you know, if we're
49:48
doing a whole home organization, I will literally pick up
49:51
everything you own and ask you to look at it, think about it
49:56
and choose it. Yep, she does.
49:59
Let's put some If you say I love this horse figurine and this
50:05
horse figurine has been in a box in your basement for 10 years.
50:09
And I will say, well, you haven't missed it because you
50:12
forgot it was there. So if you want to keep it, put
50:16
it on your Mantel, put it somewhere where you can
50:18
appreciate it. Don't just tell me you're going
50:20
to keep it because you love it. Throw it back in a box in the
50:22
basement. So commit to re energizing
50:25
whatever it is, or pass it on to someone else who might
50:28
appreciate it. So if I have a box of mementos
50:33
from my childhood that I have not opened since I've been
50:37
married, so it's like 25 years now.
50:40
And frankly, I don't want to open it because I don't know.
50:44
I don't want to have to do something with those.
50:47
And I don't think I will remember whatever is in there.
50:50
Can I just? Let go of the box of all that
50:53
stuff. You can.
50:54
It's your stuff. You can do whatever you want
50:56
with it. But there's there seems to be a
50:58
reason why you're keeping it. 'Cause it's like a time capsule
51:01
for 1980s, isn't that important, you know?
51:05
What's important is that you trust your own memory.
51:08
And a lot of people hold on to things that remind them of
51:12
something else because for some reason they're not trusting
51:16
their own memory. I was even, I, I was at my mom's
51:20
house and she's going to laugh because she's going to listen to
51:23
this. She had she had this little, she
51:26
was decluttering and getting ready to move from Florida to
51:30
Arizona. And she found this little tiny
51:35
pair of like rusty metal scissors, like kid scissors.
51:39
And she's like, oh, these were my scissors when I was little
51:43
and I used them for crafting. And my mother's now 82 years
51:47
old. And she was holding on to this
51:52
like broken rusty pair of kid scissors from her youth.
51:58
And she didn't want to throw them away.
52:01
And I was like, well, do, are you not going to remember your
52:05
entire tired childhood if you throw these scissors away?
52:08
Like, of course not. This is how I feel about baby
52:12
teeth. I'm like, why are we keeping
52:13
baby teeth? Why are you keeping baby teeth
52:16
I. Don't keep baby teeth, OK?
52:19
I workout naked. You keep baby teeth.
52:21
I think we're not one to one. I'm not keep baby teeth, but do
52:24
you know how people trust? Your memory, Yeah, trust your
52:27
memory. And also you can take pictures,
52:31
take pictures of your stuff, like, you know, the things that
52:34
you can't take with you or don't or don't want to pass on to your
52:37
kids. And that's another thing is, you
52:40
know, people our age, our parents are passing away or
52:44
moving into assisted living or whatever, and they are dumping
52:48
all of their crap on their kids because they don't want to feel
52:52
guilty about making those decisions or they just don't.
52:54
Whoa, you, oh, you'll want this. You'll, you'll want this.
52:57
And your kids will want this. And you're like, Mom, I can't
53:01
put lead paint in the microwave like this.
53:08
Yeah. And I think it's the I love just
53:12
the idea of this weight, this kind of invisible weight that
53:17
comes from, what did you say when we first started Visual?
53:20
Noise. Visual noise.
53:22
Visual noise. And when you walk into a room,
53:24
it's like all the time. All this stuff is just reminders
53:28
of decisions that you haven't made yet that you've been
53:31
putting on the back burner. Preach.
53:33
Yes, it's a reminder of decisions you haven't made yet,
53:36
that is. And they and they, they will not
53:39
go away until you make those decisions.
53:42
And what people don't realize is that there are there are people
53:47
who are psyched to help you do it.
53:49
I am psyched to help people do this because it for power it it
53:54
changes their lives. It does it.
53:56
Literally changes. Their lives.
53:58
I have to go back to the example of when I first moved here and
54:00
you, it did change our family life.
54:02
So you sat me down and you said, well, what's your goal for your
54:04
home? What's your your.
54:05
And I said, well, our kids are six and eight.
54:07
I want to be the house that kids come over and play at where it's
54:11
welcoming, It's fun. We're baking cookies.
54:13
We're doing, you know, little projects, crafts.
54:17
I want that to be a very welcoming environment.
54:20
And you're like, well, then your desk with all of the burden and
54:23
the bills and all the difficult negativity things shouldn't be
54:25
the main central part of your home.
54:28
And you said, why did you do that?
54:30
And I said, because the piano's freaking heavy and we didn't
54:33
want to lift it upstairs, like because there's like a split
54:36
there, right? So there's like 4 stairs.
54:38
So I was like, OK, when we first moved here, it was like roll the
54:40
piano in and put it on that lower level that's out of sight.
54:44
And then the desk, we could move up into the main living room.
54:48
And that was why there was no thought, there was no intention
54:50
behind it. And So what happened was the
54:54
piano just got kind of left with blankets and things over it.
54:58
And then the desk took center stage.
55:01
So there's stress and there's things piling up that I'm in the
55:03
kitchen cooking, but that I'm looking over it and feeling like
55:06
a failure. And I'm, I'm not present with my
55:08
kids and what's going on because I'm very aware because it's
55:11
visually in my face versus when you did the switch.
55:14
And we got the neighbor guys to come over and help us move the
55:18
piano and they moved it up and we brought that front.
55:22
Fast forward, what are they doing now?
55:23
The kids are coming in, they're playing the piano with their
55:26
friends. I'm looking out smiling.
55:29
In your in your house now that's your.
55:31
Your music room is your first front room.
55:34
I think that's really interesting.
55:35
I was thinking it back to work again.
55:38
And you know, back in the old days, all the executives got the
55:42
offices and then all the rest of us got like the cubicle farms.
55:45
And I remember this like row of executive offices.
55:50
And there was like 3 offices and one guy's office was awful.
55:54
It was like sterile and there was like shit everywhere,
55:57
papers. And I remember always being
56:00
nervous like to go in there and like ask permission for a
56:03
project. And then there was an office
56:05
next door and that guy was like a Star Wars guy.
56:08
And so he like little Yoda dolls all over.
56:11
And I would walk in, I would be like, it was like kind of so
56:15
many figurines. I was just like, it's really
56:18
hard to like, concentrate. And then there was this woman in
56:22
the third office, and she never had the overhead lights on.
56:26
She had only lamps. And it was soft lighting.
56:30
And I remember, and she had a really, she must have read it
56:33
from homework, didn't provide this.
56:35
He walked and she had these really comfortable chairs in
56:37
front of her desk and you felt like you could go sit and just
56:41
breathe. And so the relationship you
56:44
were, she was able to have. I mean, she set that tone, she
56:49
set that environment. And you know, Yoda guy, he set
56:52
his tone and he was lovely, man. I really did enjoy him.
56:56
But I want people to remember that, right?
56:58
Like what you said, Heather is so powerful.
57:02
So I had this one client and she really wanted a partner.
57:08
I go in the bedroom of, you know, I'm, we're just, we're
57:11
just getting to know each other. I'm, you know, we're trying to,
57:14
to figure this out. That's what she wants.
57:17
So I look in her bedroom space, which is where you would be with
57:21
a partner. She's got the bed pushed up in
57:26
the corner. She's got one night stand, 1
57:29
lamp. There is a shrine to her dead
57:34
mother, like a shrine and her to her dead mother like over on a
57:40
piece of furniture with like candles and her mother's
57:44
picture. And then in another area, she
57:47
had all of the ashes of all of her dead cremated animals.
57:56
And there was a shotgun under the bed.
58:02
Almost no one is going to want to come in this room.
58:12
Literally. Oh my God.
58:14
Literally. If you walked into that room, if
58:19
you're, you know you're, you're feeling sexy, you want to hook
58:22
up, whatever you walk into this room, there's no way.
58:26
There's no sexy feelings. No sexy going on.
58:31
You know what it's like you know, it's it sounds really
58:33
simple now that I'm I'm explaining it, but to her she's
58:35
like, well, I love my animals and I love my mom and the
58:38
shotguns for my protection because I live alone and what do
58:41
I need another night stand for? It's just me.
58:44
But if you set up your environment for success, if you
58:47
invite what you wish to achieve or relationships you wish to
58:52
have, if you invite it into your space and you make that
58:55
intention, it's going to happen. It's going to happen.
58:58
You know, you move your bed up from your wall, you have you
59:01
have two candlesticks 2. Night stands 2.
59:06
Pictures of mom. No pictures of your family you
59:12
know that's the bedroom is no place for.
59:13
That you know, what about mirrors intention you have you
59:15
have an opinion about mirrors in the bedroom.
59:17
Talk about that. I don't like putting mirrors in
59:20
the bedroom that reflect the bed.
59:22
If you can see your reflection while you're in bed, it gives
59:28
you the illusion that there's someone else in the room with
59:30
you, and it's kind of unnerving because you can see movement
59:34
happening. My mother would disagree because
59:36
she has. I'm outing you out, Donna, ever
59:43
since. Love you Donna I.
59:45
Was 11 years old and she got remarried.
59:47
You want to be mortified? They bought a waterbed.
59:51
King size waterbed with a mirrored canopy.
59:55
A mirrored canopy? So you lay on the waterbed?
1:00:01
Yes. And that thing moved from
1:00:05
Michigan all the way to Black Hawk, Colorado.
1:00:08
They moved. Wow, they love it.
1:00:09
She still has it. Yes, she still has it.
1:00:13
Donna she's if you're listening. I guess it.
1:00:16
Works for. Them, I mean, I don't they still
1:00:19
have. It.
1:00:20
That's a thing. Hey, if you're in your 70s and
1:00:23
you're still rocking the waterbed with the mirrored.
1:00:25
Cannon, But you know what I would say to that?
1:00:28
I would say if it works for you, great.
1:00:30
Yeah, 'cause you can disagree. It's fine.
1:00:34
Works. If it works for you, it works
1:00:36
for you. It is not my job to tell.
1:00:38
Like as soon as I leave your house, it's your house.
1:00:40
I'm not, I don't live there. So you can do whatever you want
1:00:43
with your house. That's amazing.
1:00:47
I think it's a great story to end on.
1:00:48
Heather, will you wrap? Up yeah, I wish we had more
1:00:51
time. I it's so fun to talk about and
1:00:55
I think we could talk for more hours because it's so relatable.
1:00:58
I love that you brought it down to hey, this is changing the way
1:01:02
you are thinking. You're not a bad person.
1:01:05
You're not a messy person. You're not you just haven't
1:01:08
thought about it. And so let's train ourselves
1:01:10
into a new way. Let's be intentional about it.
1:01:12
Let's set our goals for our space, no matter how big, no
1:01:14
matter how small and get a system in place and it's very
1:01:18
achievable no matter what type of personality you have.
1:01:23
This is open to every everyone. So can I just one last question,
1:01:26
Clay, what is a very first, next step that someone can take if
1:01:31
they're interested and they have a space they're thinking of?
1:01:34
What can they do even just on their own to help get on the
1:01:37
right foot? The first thing that we always
1:01:40
do at every session is just throw away the trash.
1:01:47
Throw away your boxes. No one can throw away a
1:01:51
perfectly good box. Yeah, it's true.
1:01:54
It's. We might need it.
1:01:56
Someday. Just go.
1:01:57
Around your house? Just go around your house with a
1:02:01
garbage can and throw away the trash.
1:02:04
Awesome. Thank you, Leslie.
1:02:06
We really, really appreciate it. There's so much here.
1:02:10
Before we let you go, we do ask you one final question.
1:02:13
We answered ourselves as well, which is what brought a smile to
1:02:17
to your face this week. Oh, well, that's that's easy,
1:02:22
because it just happened last night.
1:02:24
My sister sent me a text saying that my nephew, her son Logan,
1:02:31
just got his first patent. Wow.
1:02:35
That's a big deal. Congratulations, Logan.
1:02:37
My goodness. And Jen?
1:02:40
Yeah, so that's really cool. That is so cool.
1:02:43
So that that made me, that made me smile.
1:02:45
Proud of you, Logan. How old is he?
1:02:48
23 almost. He'll be 23.
1:02:52
Exciting. Yeah, he's super smart, Kid I.
1:02:55
Was not getting patents when I was 23 you.
1:02:59
Were you were writing patents at 23?
1:03:01
Neither was I, I was going to raves you.
1:03:04
Still go to raves. I was.
1:03:05
I do. That's true.
1:03:07
Stay away from the backs. Play.
1:03:10
Blakely you know, thank you for explaining that to me.
1:03:13
I, I did not know what that was. So I, you know, I'm, I'm a 90s
1:03:17
raver. I don't know what that was.
1:03:20
Clay Blakely. Well I was going to say mine is
1:03:22
very akin to Leslie's. Eldon just cut his next EP and
1:03:29
released him like 18 years old and he's on a second EP.
1:03:31
Like it's so impressive. I love these kids.
1:03:34
So that was fun. Another smile is my mom is hard
1:03:39
to buy birthday gifts for and I know what I'm getting her for
1:03:43
her birthday. Leslie Little virtual
1:03:46
consultation. I'm sorry.
1:03:49
I hope you're not listening, Mom, because it's not coming.
1:03:52
To your birthday, still appreciate it.
1:03:56
My smile this week was my Detroit Pistons won Game 7, Yes.
1:04:04
Holy moly Clay, that was wild. Yeah, they won a Game 7, so
1:04:10
they're on to the next series, which is great.
1:04:12
Detroit basketball. If you join our sub stack, you
1:04:17
can learn how to do what Heather just said 'cause I put that in
1:04:21
the, well, actually, Blakely put it in the Casual Friday
1:04:25
newsletter last week. I did.
1:04:27
It was a link to the correct pronunciation.
1:04:30
By the way, on the sub stack thing, people, there's a reason
1:04:34
that you can't watch the the video of the van because you're
1:04:39
not throwing down your freaky Fry 5 S Yeah, only the paid
1:04:43
subscribers get access to watch the video.
1:04:46
I had several people reach out and be like, I want to see the
1:04:48
van, but I know and I'm like, I know.
1:04:50
Because you need which is great upgrade marketing like you guys
1:04:54
want something. Here we go.
1:04:56
It's fun and we have so much more to offer.
1:04:58
When you hit the pay wall and, and trust me, you're feeling a
1:05:02
little bit now, you're really going to start start feeling it,
1:05:05
Yeah, like a week from now or two weeks from now.
1:05:08
When Heather puts out her live workout.
1:05:10
Just get in there, put on your freaky little 5, you know?
1:05:14
Gosh. All right, Heather, what's your
1:05:16
smile? Mine was your little prank that
1:05:20
you guys did. I really, you know, it was
1:05:24
really fun and I I had I was like, what are they?
1:05:27
Why are they I cannot because I did for the first time get there
1:05:30
5 minutes early before the top of the hour and I was so proud
1:05:32
of myself and I was going to be ready with my headphones and
1:05:35
like smile and be like, I'm here early and they didn't let me in.
1:05:38
They didn't let me in. I'm like, this is like this is
1:05:41
like bullying, like class level workplace bullying.
1:05:45
I, it brought me back to law firms are so serious.
1:05:48
No one's no one's playing little games and jokes on people
1:05:51
anymore. We used to do that all the time.
1:05:52
So it was like a nice little like throwback to the day when
1:05:56
coworkers could have fun with each other.
1:05:57
So. Cheers, cheers.
1:06:01
Yeah. Sorry, Leslie, we didn't.
1:06:05
We're. Doing this so.
1:06:10
Well, happy Cinco de Mayo, you guys have got a head start on
1:06:13
the evening. Yeah, exactly.
1:06:14
How can our listeners find you? My website is welcome home
1:06:18
organizing.com. You can e-mail me at Leslie at
1:06:23
Welcome Home organizing. I'm on Facebook welcome Home
1:06:28
organizing and Instagram welcome home organizing.
1:06:32
You can find me there. It's really fun that all the the
1:06:34
social medias are great because you can see all the before and
1:06:37
after pictures. It's cool.
1:06:38
It's kind of inspiring and makes you feel really good about your
1:06:40
own space. It does.
1:06:43
I love that. Or inspired, either way,
1:06:45
wherever you're at, whichever side of the coin you're at.
1:06:49
Yeah, I think I've hired Leslie four or five Times Now.
1:06:52
Just different. It's not like a one and done.
1:06:53
I mean you just hit different parts.
1:06:55
And not a one we. Do we do do tune UPS, you know,
1:06:58
all the time that you know, this is everyone has things that
1:07:01
they're good at. Sometimes it's not organizing.
1:07:04
That's why we exist. But you live and learn.
1:07:06
With it, like I take it with every every session I like take
1:07:08
something else and I learn and I take it forward.
1:07:11
You can't unhear me. We can't.
1:07:12
We can't. He's there.
1:07:14
All right. Thank you so much, Leslie.
1:07:16
Thanks you guys, it was really fun all.
1:07:19
Right, bye. See you next time.