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Jesus, Naps, and the ER: Finding Balance in Your Marriage · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well from March 16, 2026 Jesus, Naps, and the ER Finding Balance
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  in Your Marriage This week, let's talk about selfishness and not being selfish.
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  I was going to use the word selfless, but that's not quite right.
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  The first definition I found for selfless was acting with little or no concern
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  for oneself, focusing instead on the needs, welfare, and happiness of others.
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  Another said having no concern for self.
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  Can we agree having no concern for ourselves is not healthy?
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  Such a person would be a mess, and they would be taken advantage of by a lot of people.
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  Jesus was not selfless. He pulled away by himself on more than one occasion.
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  In particular, he sought solitude when he heard his cousin, John the Baptist, had been executed.
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  And he took a nap in a boat while his disciples were freaking out.
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  Then we have Mark 6, where Jesus sent the twelve out two by two.
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  When they returned, Jesus said
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  to them, come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.
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  They had been very busy for a season, and now Jesus wanted them to rest and recover.
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  He was teaching them a vital balance. I am thinking on this topic because I've
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  been caring for my wife for about two weeks now.
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  She got the flu and recovered, but then her condition worsened.
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  Friday night, I took her to the ER as she could barely stand.
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  Turns out her potassium levels were low, which will leave you very weak.
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  They gave her potassium and sent her home. She is doing better now,
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  but it's going to take some time for her to get back to normal.
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  When she said she needed to go to the ER, of course I got her there.
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  It was an emergency, and it was appropriate for me to focus entirely on her needs at the moment.
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  But I've also done palliative care. We cared for my mom in her home for the
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  last nine months of her life.
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  So I know that even in such a situation, we must take care of ourselves.
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  We can't keep going 24-7 because God didn't make us to be able to do that.
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  When we pass our limit, we hurt ourselves both physically and emotionally But
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  where is our limit? How do we know?
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  What do we do when we hit that limit? And how do we balance our valid needs
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  with the needs of others, and especially our spouse?
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  I want to discuss that the rest of the week. We need to find the balance between
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  caring for ourselves and caring for others.
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  This is a common thread in our marriages in both small and big ways.
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  This is Paul, and self-care is critical if you want to do marriage well.