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MONEY DIARIES: Clawing her way back from emotional and financial abuse · She's On The Money

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  Speaker 1: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
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  Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
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  Speaker 2: for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another
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  Speaker 2: shop back Money Diary Monday, where we get to have
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  Speaker 2: a chat with one of our beautiful community members, learn
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  Speaker 2: about them, learn about their money story. I have a
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  Speaker 2: good one for you this week. Are you excited?
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  Speaker 3: I am very excited. Do you want to tell me
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  Speaker 3: a little bit about it?
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  Speaker 2: Absolutely?
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  Speaker 4: So.
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  Speaker 2: This week's Diarra said, I've gone from one hundred to zero,
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  Speaker 2: and I'm slowly climbing my way back from running my
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  Speaker 2: own business to having to give it all up due
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  Speaker 2: to emotional and financial abuse, draining my emergency funds and
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  Speaker 2: putting pause on my studies. I finally scraped back to
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  Speaker 2: the so of having my life back and I'm creating
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  Speaker 2: a fresh new path for myself.
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  Speaker 3: What that sounds like a crazy good story?
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  Speaker 2: Absolutely, I'm so excited to hear more. So Hello to
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  Speaker 2: our money diarist. How are you?
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  Speaker 4: Yes?
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  Speaker 1: Hello?
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  Speaker 3: They just stay really quiet while we do our little intro.
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  Speaker 3: You're welcome. Thank you for hanging out in the background,
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  Speaker 3: Money Dirist. I'm really excited to learn more about your
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  Speaker 3: money story. But as always, we are going to start
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  Speaker 3: this episode off with our structured questions so that we
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  Speaker 3: can get on the same page. So let's dive straight
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  Speaker 3: in money, darist, what is your attitude towards money?
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  Speaker 2: I'd say, I.
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  Speaker 4: Don't know how you answer it with it just one
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  Speaker 4: word or just go on, but I guess I'm pretty
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  Speaker 4: frugal with money. Like growing up, my parents were both
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  Speaker 4: really bad with money, and I watched that from the sidelines,
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  Speaker 4: and I remember when I was probably I must have
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  Speaker 4: been sixteen, I got my first job, oh fifteen, and
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  Speaker 4: I remember seeing my mom.
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  Speaker 2: She had credit card and it.
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  Speaker 4: Just keept racking up and up and up up, and
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  Speaker 4: I was like, I never ever want to be like that,
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  Speaker 4: Like I never want to have a credit card, never
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  Speaker 4: want to have a big loan to buy things, which
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  Speaker 4: spoiler alert did happen. But yeah, so yeah, I'm really
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  Speaker 4: really big into budgeting as well. So yeah, that's I
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  Speaker 4: guess that's that's it.
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  Speaker 3: What about seeing your mum with a credit card made
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  Speaker 3: you go I don't want that, because some people see
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  Speaker 3: their parents with credit cards, and I guess the apple
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  Speaker 3: then doesn't fall far from the tree and they go, well,
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  Speaker 3: that second nature, like, mum had a credit card, I'll
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  Speaker 3: get a credit card. What was in your mind when
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  Speaker 3: you were like, I don't want that.
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  Speaker 4: Well, I guess because she was a single mum raising
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  Speaker 4: me and my brother, and so she used to use
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  Speaker 4: it to buy things like like books and stuff for school,
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  Speaker 4: and then if she wanted to get us some clothes
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  Speaker 4: or something, she'd use it. But then I remember one
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  Speaker 4: time she decided to just go on a big spending
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  Speaker 4: splurge and she racked up her debts so high that
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  Speaker 4: when it came to paying it off because she wasn't working,
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  Speaker 4: she got herself in quite a big predicament. And then
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  Speaker 4: she was kind of how does the saying going robbing Peter.
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  Speaker 2: To pay Paul?
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  Speaker 3: Yes?
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, And so I just remember like when she was
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  Speaker 4: in that state, I was like, oh, it's I'd never
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  Speaker 4: want to be so hard up with money that I
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  Speaker 4: don't actually own.
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  Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes absolute sense. And it's
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  Speaker 3: interesting to see that that, I guess was an experience
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  Speaker 3: that you got to see and learn from and go no,
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  Speaker 3: thank you, thank you, though not for me. All right,
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  Speaker 3: Next question, my friend, perfect question. What do you do
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  Speaker 3: for work? How much money do you earn.
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  Speaker 4: So I'm a bookkeeper by like a title for a company,
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  Speaker 4: but I kind of manage everything in the company. So
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  Speaker 4: if there's a problem, I sort it. If I need
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  Speaker 4: to pay customers, I sort it. If I need to
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  Speaker 4: chase them up. So I do a bit more than
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  Speaker 4: what the role is. And I earn fifty four thousand
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  Speaker 4: a year.
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  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. And to contextualize that, that is fifty
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  Speaker 3: four thousand News Zealand dollars. Because you're one of our
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  Speaker 3: friends from across the ditch, am I runt Leney diarist?
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  Speaker 4: Yes, yes, I am.
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  Speaker 3: Can you give us a little bit of context though?
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  Speaker 3: Is that a standard salary? Is that a high salary? Like,
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  Speaker 3: we don't live in New Zealand. What do salaries in
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  Speaker 3: New Zealand look like in comparison to Australia, Because obviously
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  Speaker 3: you would hear it on the podcast affair Bit what
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  Speaker 3: people are running.
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  Speaker 4: It's probably like the entry into full time work level.
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  Speaker 4: So I guess if you were if you were qualified
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  Speaker 4: with a degree in doing something, you'd probably be more
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  Speaker 4: on like the seventy thousand threshold. Yep, yeah, just like
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  Speaker 4: an intraductory kind of.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I like that And I'm only asking because
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  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, is it the same? Is it different?
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  Speaker 3: I know other people listening are going to be thinking that.
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  Speaker 3: So next question, money, darist, what's your big money goal
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  Speaker 3: at the moment.
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  Speaker 4: So biggest goal would be to buy a little farm
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  Speaker 4: with my partner.
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  Speaker 2: A little farm. Oh my gosh. I thought you were.
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  Speaker 3: Going to say a little house, and then you said
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  Speaker 3: a little farm.
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  Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, definitely a little house on a little
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  Speaker 4: farm would be nice.
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  Speaker 3: Oh so sweet? Why a farm? Is that how your
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  Speaker 3: partner does or what's going on?
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  Speaker 4: So he's a stock manager on a two thousand acre station.
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  Speaker 3: Wow?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: So we're on the high country. We're basically on the
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  Speaker 4: side of a mountain and then there's a river, and
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  Speaker 4: then there's another mountain.
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  Speaker 3: Oh so sweet. And you guys are going to buy
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  Speaker 3: a little farm to live on while he still does
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  Speaker 3: that type of work.
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  Speaker 4: Eventually, I think, just start with the little farm and
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  Speaker 4: also have been working, and then rent out the little
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  Speaker 4: house that'll be on it, but work the land. Yeah,
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  Speaker 4: and then eventually buy a bigger piece of land.
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  Speaker 3: Oh that's so exciting. Are you going to have pets?
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  Speaker 3: That's a very important question. This is she's on the money.
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  Speaker 4: We already have pets.
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  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, how many pets have you got? That's
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  Speaker 3: very important.
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  Speaker 4: So I've got three horses and a dog, and he's
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  Speaker 4: got five dogs.
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  Speaker 3: Oh that would impact the budget, would it not?
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  Speaker 4: The horses, yes, these dogs expensive? Yeah, the dogs No,
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  Speaker 4: because the dogs are like a working expense, so they're
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  Speaker 4: actually covered by his boss.
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  Speaker 3: Oh how good. I've got lots of questions about that.
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  Speaker 3: We will come back to that because I think we'll
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: get completely off track. And Jess is looking at me like,
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  Speaker 3: what are you doing?
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  Speaker 1: All right?
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  Speaker 3: Next question is do you currently have any investments money, diarist?
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  Speaker 4: I do so. I have five hundred dollars in Chasia's
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  Speaker 4: just a little like dipping my toes out. And I
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  Speaker 4: have Kiwi saber over here in Stitisty of Granulation, and
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  Speaker 4: I have twenty one thousand.
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  Speaker 3: Oh wow, but you're so young. Yeah, I'm very impressed
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  Speaker 3: with you. All right. Next question money, diarist, Do you
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  Speaker 3: currently have any debts?
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  Speaker 4: I do. I have a personal loan. It's twenty three thousand,
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  Speaker 4: and I got it for a truck for when I
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  Speaker 4: had my business was up and running and going. I
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  Speaker 4: needed a workhorse like it's a vehicle.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah pretty much.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, so that's the only that's the only dead
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  Speaker 4: I've got.
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  Speaker 3: When you say I needed a truck, that makes me
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  Speaker 3: want to ask what was your business? What type of
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  Speaker 3: business were you running? Where this gorgeous woman that I'm
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  Speaker 3: looking at needs a truck?
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  Speaker 4: So I was training horses, So I needed something that
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  Speaker 4: could pull and toe?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, how exciting? All right, Sorry, Jess, I'm getting off
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  Speaker 3: track again and again. The next question is do you
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  Speaker 3: use shop back?
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  Speaker 2: No?
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  Speaker 3: No, you're in New Zealand, but come on, why not?
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  Speaker 4: I really hate shopping.
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  Speaker 2: So that's fair.
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  Speaker 3: Okay, that's absolutely fair. It's not your vibe. We respect that.
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  Speaker 3: It's interesting asking people what they do and how it
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  Speaker 3: works and getting to know what their money story is,
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  Speaker 3: but also like who they are personally. So it makes sense.
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  Speaker 3: If you don't like shopping, why would you be using
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  Speaker 3: a shopping app?
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  Speaker 4: Like it makes sense. That sounds really cool. But I
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  Speaker 4: don't shop enough to even warrant online shopping.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's very fair. So I've got a sneaky decision
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  Speaker 3: that you might have maybe a couple of good money habits.
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  Speaker 3: So money Diarist, what are your best money habits?
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  Speaker 4: I'm a bit of a spreadsheet junkie. So I'm really
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  Speaker 4: good with my budgets and keeping to the budget, and
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  Speaker 4: every it's probably every five or six weeks I recalculate
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  Speaker 4: my budget with however my average earnings is going because
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  Speaker 4: some weeks I'm paid like hourly, so not a salary.
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  Speaker 4: So I, yeah, recalculate the budget whenever I need to.
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  Speaker 4: So that's probably my best money habit. And also being
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  Speaker 4: quite frugal, like I don't feel the need to go
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  Speaker 4: out and buy a coffee or I mean, I live
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  Speaker 4: an hour away from the shop, so I can't really
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  Speaker 4: do anything anyway, which is that's fair?
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  Speaker 3: That really does mean that you are forced to put
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  Speaker 3: some time between you and your spending, whereas for me
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  Speaker 3: it's a little more accessible and sometimes a little bit
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  Speaker 3: of a slippery slope. Al Right, next question in comparison money, Dariss,
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  Speaker 3: what is your worst money habit.
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  Speaker 4: It's a little bit contradictory, but my birthday month is terrible.
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  Speaker 4: Like I'm just treat myself wherever I go, whenever I go,
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  Speaker 4: it's like it's my birthday month pretty much. Yeah, I
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  Speaker 4: just love to splurge on my birthday.
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  Speaker 3: That yeah, So what does splurge mean to you, Oh,
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  Speaker 3: probably like going and getting coffees and lunches and takeaways,
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  Speaker 3: and so it's not going out buying like big designer bags.
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  Speaker 3: It's not going on like overseas holidays like because splurge
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  Speaker 3: could mean a lot of different things to a lot
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: of different people. And that's actually a really fun question
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  Speaker 3: to ask because you're like, oh, it's coffee. So I'm like,
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: hold up, hold up, what do you mean.
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  Speaker 4: If you'd ask me when I was like seventeen eighteen,
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  Speaker 4: I would have sit overseas trips. I used to always
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: go overseas, whether it was to Europe or to Australia
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: or wherever. But then I got a little bit older
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  Speaker 4: and realized I needed to be a little bit more
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  Speaker 4: saving my money than splurging on going Italy or.
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  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, no, I totally get that, and also
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  Speaker 3: just feel like there's been something going on over the
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: last two years it's really stopped us from being able
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: to access overseas travel. I can't remember what it was.
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: But last question before we go to a quick break
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  Speaker 3: and get into a lot of perfect questions that I
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: have for you, if we've forced you to give yourself
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: a money grade, what would you grade yourself?
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  Speaker 4: I probably go with a bush why. I think like,
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  Speaker 4: with the circumstances I've gone through in the last kind
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  Speaker 4: of twelve months, I would be a higher grade if
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  Speaker 4: I hadn't had to go through a lot of my funds.
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  Speaker 4: But at the same time I had those funds there,
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  Speaker 4: So yeah.
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  Speaker 3: That makes absolute sense. Now let's go to a quick break,
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: and then I want to get into why you have
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: been spending a little bit more over the last twelve months.
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: Don't go anywhere, all right, we are back money diarist.
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: You have such an interesting story to tell that. I
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: don't feel like we got a lot about in the
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: structured questions, but you did allude to having gone through
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: a few things in the last twelve months, and that
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: maybe you've spent a bit more and maybe not been
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: as good with money as you would like to have been.
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  Speaker 3: Tell us why, what's been going on?
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  Speaker 4: So? I grew up, like I said earlier, I grew
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: up with my mum and she's a single mum, and
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: unfortunately she kind of used me and my brother as
• 11:22
  Speaker 4: her emotional outlet. And as time went on, we both
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: got jobs quite young. So about fifteen sixteen and then
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: she started using us as a bit of a financial outlet.
• 11:32
  Speaker 4: So when I was probably about seventeen, we started splitting
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: all the bills like we were flatmates, so power Internet,
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: we did our own groceries, and fast forwarding onto a
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  Speaker 4: couple years ago, my brother had kind of had enough
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: so he moved out and then the load kind of
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: fell onto me.
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  Speaker 3: Wow.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, but at the time it was a little bit
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  Speaker 4: like I was seeing everything through tinted glasses, Like I
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  Speaker 4: wasn't really seeing that her behaviors weren't normal, because that's
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: all I even knew. Yeah, we actually made a really
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: big move from the top of New Zealand to the
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: bottom of New Zealand. And when we got down, I
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: started my own horse training business because we got facilities,
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: we got a big property, and it was all fine
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: when I was paying her to run the business on
• 12:18
  Speaker 4: the property and I was still living at home at
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: this point, but again like we were kind of living separately.
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: And then after about twelve months, my business started to
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: really ramp up and I was getting heaps and heaps
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: of clients coming through and she, I don't know if
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: it was stealing her limelight with like the community around us,
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: so she started charging me more and more, and then
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: it got to a day where she just kind of
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: put her hands in the air and said, no, you
• 12:44
  Speaker 4: can't run your business here anymore. And so I had
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: to close off my business in two thousand and at
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: the end of twenty twenty, so we'd come out of
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: lockdowns and everything.
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: Wow. So you had to close it down, puly because
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: your mum was like, no, you can't do it.
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah, because yeah, because without somewhere to do it, Yeah,
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  Speaker 4: I couldn't run it. And like I did try to
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: do the traveling two people thing, but it just didn't
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: really work because there wasn't enough hours in the day
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: for it to be profitable because I was still working
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: full time on the side. Yeah.
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: Wow, So you weren't able to continue it purely because
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: your mum was like, nope, not having it anymore. And
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: I guess from your perspective that didn't have a lot
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: to do with the fact that she needed the space.
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: It was more she just didn't like that you were
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: potentially being so successful, which is very hard to swallow.
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: I'm assuming from your perspective, because I would again assume
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: and these are all assumptions, So you're the one telling
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: the story here. But I'm assuming that might not have
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: been the first time, because usually that type of behavior
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: is an ongoing type of behavior. So is that something
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: you'd experienced historically?
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely. When I left high school, well, actually my
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: final year of high school, I was working twenty six
• 13:58
  Speaker 4: hours a week on top of school just to kind
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: of pay my way. And then I said, oh, I
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: want to go to university, and she's like, well, how
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: do you expect to bring in enough money and also
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: go to uni? So it was kind of like a
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: shutdown before I could get there type of thing. And
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: then at the end of twenty twenty, I decided that
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: I would study from home. And again it was kind
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: of one of those things of why would you bother
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: you need to work full time, like you don't have
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: the time, you don't have the resources. So it's definitely
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: not the first time. With the business, it kind of
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: it's always been like a block in the stepping stones
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: of getting anywhere, and you know, just to.
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: Be a little bit pervy because if not pervy, are
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: we even money diaries? Where do you think that came from? Like,
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: you know, obviously you're anonymous, So this is a space
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: where I can be like, well, what did your mum
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: do for work and how did that work? And where
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: is this come from? Like why do you think she's
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: put so much pressure on her kids? Was it literally
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: out of necessity? Because I totally can understand some families
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: are in the position where do you know what financially
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: we are struggling and we really need help. But where
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: do you think this has come from? And how has
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: this popped up?
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: Well, it definitely there's like a one solid reason. So
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: my dad it was also very terrible with money, and
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: he would mortgage against our mortgage and then he got
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: a cave it against our house and he went into liquidation.
• 15:18
  Speaker 4: He went bankrupt. And I think all of that made
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: her go, well, the money's not there, so I need
• 15:23
  Speaker 4: to get the money from someone. You can't stop working
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: because we need the money.
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah okay. And at any point did you go this
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: isn't normal or was that just okay?
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: Yep?
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: Like we're a family, this is what we do. And
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: how has that changed your money story?
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: Now?
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: Because I know from what you said in your email,
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: you're not in that situation anymore. So what's going on
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: and how did that work? And how did it all
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: come to a head and get discussed. Maybe it never
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: really got discussed per se. I mean it was always
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: very open and common knowledge between all of us what
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: was going on, which is growing up was quite good,
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: but it was also a lot of weight on your
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: shoulders and knowing that a lot of my friends at
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: school weren't going through the same thing, but that I
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: couldn't kind of go well with me because it wasn't
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: going to get us out of the situation. I just
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: think over time, you just let it be what it is.
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: If that makes sense, No, that makes absolute sense. How
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: has that impacted you? You said before, you've got a
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: partner and you know you're saving for a home. How's
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: that impacted your relationship? And what does that relationship with
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: your mum look like now?
• 16:30
  Speaker 4: Well, when I decided to move in with my partner,
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: it was the first time I moved out of home,
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: because it's like, as well as financial, she used to
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: make you feel like you couldn't leave or you couldn't
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: do what you wanted to do. So when I moved out,
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: she actually stopped talking to me for a few months,
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: and even now she'll only talk to us if it's
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: about her that sucks.
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: I'm so sorry that that's the nature of the relationship
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: because you know, just reading into your tone of voice,
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: is it right to assume that that's maybe not how
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: you want the relationship to run.
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: No, definitely not. And it's like we spend a lot
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: of time with my partner's parents and not being able
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: to have the same kind of luxury of going out
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: to dinner or popping in and saying hi. It's quite
• 17:12
  Speaker 4: it's a little bit like tiring always trying to tiptoe
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: around this kind of pretend heavy families. And my partner
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: with kind of what went on around the time I
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: moved out, he grew to really dislike her just to
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: the way she was treating me and talking to me.
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: Which I mean, I don't know him, but I feel
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: like that's incredibly understandable. I don't particularly love people who
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: are treating the people I love not well, so that
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: makes absolute sense. But it does, I guess, from my perspective,
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: form a bit of a you know, friction point there
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: as well, because you're like, oh, this is my mum.
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: But I also feel really bad, but I also don't
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: really want to be treated like this, and it puts
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: you in a situation where you're in a bit of
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: a rock and a hard place. So what does that
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: look like in the future? And I guess how are
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: you changing your money story? So that's maybe not a
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: part of it in the future.
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: I think for now, like the two of us are
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: just focusing on being able to create our own life
• 18:13
  Speaker 4: together rather than trying to keep everyone on the sidelines
• 18:16
  Speaker 4: really happy, especially worth going into having a little farm.
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: It is really just the people that are involved. And
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: as much as you want to keep kind of your
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: family close and your friends involved, you can't because you've
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: got to get things up and going. Yeah.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, So tell me a little bit about the spending
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: over the last twelve months. You said in your email
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: that you drained your emergency funds and you'd also you know,
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: IM pressed pause on studies. Where are we now, what
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: does the future look like? Are we building back our
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: emergency funds? And what did you spend them on?
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: Okay, so I had ten thousand dollars in my emergency fund.
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: Having so many expensive pits, I wanted to make sure
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: I had plenty of them. Yes, absolutely, And when I
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: moved our I had actually gone halves in a horse
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: with my mum, and the day I told her that
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: I was moving out, she just demanded the money back,
• 19:07
  Speaker 4: so that took a couple grand out of the savings.
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: And then I had to buy a trailer to move
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: all my animals and move all my stuff, so that
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: drained it right down as well. And then over time,
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: I'm very lucky where we live at my partner's work,
• 19:24
  Speaker 4: it's pretty much expense free except groceries, so I've been
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: able to bring my emergency fund back up from zero
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: to five thousand in the last couple of months, which
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: is quite cool.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: Because you have that trailer now that you bought, is
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: there the opportunity for you to like rent it out
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: or something like that potentially to other people who were
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: in a situation like you were in, where they're like, oh,
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: I really need it for this one thing, probably don't
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: want to outlay the huge amount of cash. Is that
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: something you've looked into it all? Yeah. Absolutely.
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: It's a little tricky with where we're based because we
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: live so off the beat and track, like we literally
• 20:01
  Speaker 4: live inside the mountains. But definitely, if even without like
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: a financial view on it, if my friends are needing help,
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: I can offer that to them.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: That is so nice? Is that soad thing to be
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: able to prioritize.
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: That And the fact that you're like, oh, if my
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: friends need help, like I know, I've got that there.
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: Like how many people do you talk to that are
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: like yep, it's like if I get a bill or
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: this or that, and it's not about their friends. I
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: love that you sound so kind. You sound like the
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: type of person that everybody in our community would want
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: to be best friends with. Then like wrap you up
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: and be like, no, we'll.
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: Be your mum.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: It'll be fine. What does that mean for the future? So, like,
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: where's study? What's that look like? Are you going to
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: restart your business? It sounds like you were wildly successful
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: before but had a few hurdles that you needed to
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: get over. You're going to have, hopefully in the future,
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: your own little farm and stuff.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: Is that what the future looks like?
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: Tell us? I want to know what your goals and
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: aspirations are for the future.
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so definitely want to be a part of the
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: whole farm thing with my partner, because I don't want
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: to be the kind of the farmer's wife that stays
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: at home. But study wise, I'm actually studying a certificate
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: and financial servicing.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: Oh where is that come from?
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: So hopefully in the next kind of twelve months, because
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: I'm actually restarting my study on the fourteenth of February,
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: which is really exciting, and it's all from home, so
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: it's great. But yeah, that for good twelve months, I'll
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: be somewhere higher on the track.
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. So what's the plan with financial services? Like,
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: why do you want to be so boring? My friend?
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: It's not boring or I mean, it's a.
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: Bit hypocritical of me to call it boring, Like I
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: don't think it's boring, but a lot of people might go, oh,
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: financial services, like why, where? When?
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: How?
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: What are you going to do?
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: Well?
• 21:48
  Speaker 4: Because I have been a bookkeeper for the last three
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: or four years and I really enjoy numbers and working
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: out budgets and being very structured in work, I kind
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: of I looked into, well, what can I do that's
• 22:03
  Speaker 4: not being a bookkeeper? And there's nothing wrong with being
• 22:05
  Speaker 4: a bookkeeper, but it is just it is very kind
• 22:10
  Speaker 4: of into the road, like it doesn't amount to too
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: much more. And over the next week, while because I'm
• 22:16
  Speaker 4: certified or certified as a bookkeeper. I will go off
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: independently as a contractor until I can pick get certified
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: with financial servicing.
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: Oh, I love that for you, and I think it's
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: really interesting that you say that because obviously there are
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: some jobs where, you know, if you're a bookkeeper, it's
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: kind of like that's a solid job, but there's not
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: heaps and heaps of career progression unless you're planning on
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: starting your own business and then getting other bookkeepers and
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: bringing on clients, and if you're not super passionate about that,
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: then that's probably not what you're looking at doing. So
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: it is definitely a solid career, though, like I cannot
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: tell you we have a bookkeeper, I don't know if
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: she listens to our podcast, Nicole. If you are listening,
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: you're a legend and you literally say my butt a
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: million times a month also jess is but justeray. But
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: it's one of those things that it's such a valuable
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: role to play inside people's businesses as well that I
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: don't know, solid career. But then also I can completely
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: see why you want to do something different or something
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: a little bit more, because if you're not super satisfied
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: with it, I can see that. I can see that.
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: I think it's really great to see that you've thought
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: super pragmatically about it as well and kind of gone, oh, like,
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: I like bookkeeping, I'm really good at it. It's given
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: me this foundational skill set. But what else can I
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: do with that? I think that's really an incredible attitude
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: to have. And obviously we're hugely in support of going
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: into the financial space. We love to see it, and
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: I have no doubt that you'll be super successful at that.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: What a job opportunities just out of curiosity look like?
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: With you being so remote, I know you said your
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: education is going to be online, is there a lot
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: of opportunity to take on Have you looked into roles
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: like this to do those remotely as well? Or are
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: you in for like a huge commute?
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: I think in the long run, because I know that
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: we won't be up where we are for forever. Yeah,
• 24:12
  Speaker 4: when we're back down kind of closer to the world,
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: it'll be a lot easier. But even from where we are,
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: like the commute's only an hour and an hour down
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: here is not actually that long. Yeah, So yeah, I've
• 24:26
  Speaker 4: kind of wondered about it. With what I'm doing at
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: the moment, I can do everything online, which is great,
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: but yeah, once I get into that kind of financial
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: servicing industry, I will have to rethink. Maybe get a
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: cheaper car to run.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: Fine, figure that out when You'll work it out.
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: When it happens. I want to flip back. I have
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: a few questions I guess about your personal situation again
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: and about life and how that works. And something that
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: you know, I've just been thinking about over the last
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: few minutes is that you just seem to have this
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: passion and drive to educate yourself and support yourself and
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: you know, create this life and that's obviously not been
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: supported historically for you, and so many people in similar
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: situations to you often don't feel like there's a light
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: at the end of the tunnel or an exit point,
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: or that maybe that's the way it's going to be,
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: or they actually believe the things that they're being told. Well,
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: you just have to work for full time. You don't
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: actually have to go and starty, and they might go, Okay,
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: no problems, I don't have to do that. Why why
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: are you in this situation where you know you want
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: more for yourself, Like, where's this drive coming from that
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: I can see on your face when you talk about
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: your career and your education and what you want to achieve,
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: like where have you learnt this? Because I don't believe
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: it's come from your mum.
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: No. So when I had my first business, it was
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: it was just really rewarding knowing that everything I was
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: putting in was coming out double and not even just
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: in terms of money, Like the people that I was
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: dealing with, seeing the outcomes with them and who I
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: was helping was really cool. But I think now with
• 26:02
  Speaker 4: kind of what happened over the last twelve months and
• 26:04
  Speaker 4: getting really beaten down emotionally, my partner played a really
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: really big role in it.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: That's incredible that you, I guess, not forged our relationship
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: because it already existed, But you know, I think having
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: someone that you know you can rely on so heavily
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: in those kind of more tumultuous times it must give
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: you such a sense of comfort, right.
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's gorgeous. But then on top of that,
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: like you've gone and started a business on your own
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: in a situation where I'm getting the vibe it wasn't
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: exactly super welcome, like you've gone from you know, being
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: I I'm just in awe if that makes sense of
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: somebody who was in a situation where running your own
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: business obviously wasn't welcomed and it wasn't something that was
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: super supported and you were just like, okay, well, whatever
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: it's going to cost, op pay more, I'll do this,
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: I'll do that. And obviously the stopping point there was
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: that you couldn't continue it because it was no. And
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: when it's a no, it's no. But from my perspective,
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: I just I don't know. I want to pick you
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: up and hug you and be like, you're so impressive.
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: And you know, there are people in our community who
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: don't have supportive parents, who don't have, you know, people
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: around them that they ideally would love to have around them.
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: And that's why I think, you know, a bit self centered,
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: But why I think that she's on the money community
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: is so valuable because I want people to know their worth.
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: I don't like, you shouldn't have to be picked up
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: by one individual and be like, no money, direst you
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: are worth something that you've done that to yourself, and
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: I just think that that's so beautiful to see, but
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: also something we can all learn from because it doesn't
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: matter what your background is, what your financial situation was,
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: who's supporting you or not. Like, at the end of
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: the day, the one person that has your back is you,
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: and you've done that really well, and I think that
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: we could all learn a little bit from you and
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: it from your story and you know, take that forward.
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: But if there are people in your past position right
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: now where they just not support it or they're not
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: feeling welcomed, what would you say to them, Like, what
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: is your advice? Because I can't give advice to that.
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: I thankfully haven't been in that position and it would
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: be a mess of me to do that. But you're
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: perfectly positioned for that.
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: I think just definitely talk to people. I spent a
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: lot of time saying nothing to anyone about anything that
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: was going on, and then when it did come to
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: light to people like my partner, if you tell people,
• 28:24
  Speaker 4: they will actually stand up and say something. People won't
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: just sit there and be like, oh, no, you're just
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: being ridiculous. I remember one day my partner sent me down.
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: He's like, if a boyfriend was treating you this way,
• 28:33
  Speaker 4: you wouldn't stay. So why are you leaving a parent?
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: And you just kind of need that voice of reason,
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: and sometimes you do need the voice of reason to
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: be someone else's. Sometimes you can't be the only one
• 28:43
  Speaker 4: that helps yourself.
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I totally agree, And Jess, we've said this
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: before on the podcast, like you need to hold your
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: own and it doesn't matter who they are or what
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: connection they have to you. Sometimes you just have to say, yeah,
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: you might be my mum, but you're not supportive of me,
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: and that's not nourishing me, that's not helping me grow. Like,
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: you're right, if that was my partner, I wouldn't put
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: up with that, So why am I putting up with
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: that just because you're my mum? Like, Oh, I really
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: like that sentiment, and I think that that's probably a
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: really good place to leave it. Actually, Money Direst, thank
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: you so much for joining us today. But unfortunately I
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: do think that is all we have time for today.
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: So just before we head off, we'd like to acknowledge
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: and pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and Torri Straight island
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: of people's. They're the traditional custodians of the lands, the
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: waterways and the skies all across Australia. We thank you
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: for sharing and for caring for the land on which
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: we are able to learn. We pay respects to elders
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: past and present, and we share our friendship and our kindness.
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: See you next week, guys,