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Is Your Ex REALLY Gone Forever ? · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:08
  We are never ever getting back together.
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  What if your ex said that to you?
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  Are you wasting your time trying to get them back?
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  Are you wasting your time doing no contact?
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  Are you wasting your time watching videos on getting your
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  ex back? The answers are no, no, and hell
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  no. So what's really going on when
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  an X says that there's no chance of getting back together?
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  Well, that's an extreme statement and if you play it
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  correctly, they will live to regret saying it.
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  So if you don't want to make the situation any worse, you've come
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  to the right place. So be sure to listen to the end
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  because I have several comments from people whose exes did say
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  that they were never, ever getting back together.
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  What happened? Well, stick around and you'll
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  find out. Hi, this is Lucia with the Art
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  of Love. I'm a dating and relationship
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  expert specializing in helping you get your ex back or to get
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  over your ex. And welcome back my beautiful no
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  contact army. Have you been a good little
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  soldier? If you have, then you've stayed
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  in no contact and you've downloaded my app Cilencio to
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  help you do that. The link is underneath every
• 1:23
  single video and podcast. And if you too want to join our
• 1:27
  army, all you have to do is hit the subscribe button and you're
• 1:30
  in. And be sure to read our manual
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  at nocontactsecrets.com and you can read 2 free chapters there
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  before you purchase the book. So of course, your ex said that
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  there was no chance of getting back together because at that
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  moment during the breakup, that's actually what they were
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  thinking. Not everyone will say it out
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  loud, but most people who are dumping someone will be thinking
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  that, and that's because their heart and mind want to move on
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  and they actually believe that statement.
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  However, don't give too much weight or importance to those
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  words. It doesn't mean that their
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  position won't change as time passes.
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  I don't pay attention to what people say at the end of a
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  relationship. People say a lot of things and
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  as time passes, they start to change their mind.
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  Otherwise, if no one ever changed their mind about a
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  breakup, no one would ever get back together, right?
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  And of course we know that's not true.
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  People get back together all the time.
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  So forget that they even said those words, even if they were
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  adamant that they wouldn't change their mind, even if
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  they're stubborn, trust that if you take the right actions, you
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  can turn things around. And it's funny how so many
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  people say, oh, my ex is stubborn.
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  Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. I've actually done a video on
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  stubborn XS and I'll put the link in the upper right hand
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  corner on YouTube. So why did they say that?
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  Well, perhaps they said it because they were very angry at
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  that moment and they wanted to hurt you.
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  Maybe you cheated or did something just as bad.
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  Or maybe in the days and weeks following the breakup you kept
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  wanting to talk and were bugging them and were being needy.
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  You were begging or negotiating, constantly apologizing, sending
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  them flowers or gifts. That's more for the guys and
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  your ex just wanted it all to stop.
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  They felt they had to tell you that so that you would finally
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  leave them alone. Remember that the first stage
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  that a dumper goes through is usually relief, as I talked
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  about in my video, the seven stages A dumper goes through,
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  and I'll put the link to that in the upper right hand corner.
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  So they just want to get to the relief stage and you're trying
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  to stop them by not leaving them alone.
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  And that's why they're more inclined to say that you're
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  never getting back together in the hopes that we, you will just
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  go away and leave them alone. So even if you don't agree with
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  it, which obviously you don't or you wouldn't be here, you have
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  to at least appear as if you do. Fighting is not going to get
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  them back. It will only make them double
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  down on their decision. It's time to get smart and use
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  reverse psychology. So tell them you agree that you
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  both deserve better. Give them the breakup instead of
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  trying to convince them that they're making a mistake and the
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  two of you should be together. They obviously feel different at
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  that moment or they wouldn't be breaking up with you, right?
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  The more you resist the breakup, the more you push your ex away
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  and cause them to lose respect for you and maybe even start to
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  be mean to you. However, the sooner you accept
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  the breakup or appear to accept the breakup, the sooner you can
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  get started on getting your ex back.
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  And if you don't see how the heck you're ever going to get
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  back together, especially if you agree to the breakup, think
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  about when the relationship was going strong and all was well.
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  If someone came to you and said you guys are going to break up
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  eventually, you would have laughed, right?
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  And you would have said, yeah, right, That's not going to
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  happen. And yet it did.
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  So why can't it work the other way around?
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  You're now broken up. They said you were never getting
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  back together. And maybe one day you'll be
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  telling the story, maybe to your grandkids, of how you actually
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  did get back together. But if you want that to happen,
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  you need to take the right steps to get to that point.
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  The 1st and most important step is to go no contact.
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  That's the only way that they can start to have doubts about
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  the breakup, to wonder if they made a mistake, to start to
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  change their mind. Those words are going to come
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  back to haunt them. Good.
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  They expected you to try to get them back, since that's what
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  most dumpies do. And when you don't, they're
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  going to start to wonder if maybe it's because they told you
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  that there was no chance and that's why you're leaving them
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  alone. You struck them at their word.
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  Once you leave them alone, they start to change the way they see
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  you. And once they start to change
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  the way they see you, they can start to change the way they
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  feel about you. See how that works?
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  So now they have a big decision to make.
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  Do they continue to wait and hope that you will break and
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  reach out to them? Or do they go against what they
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  said and reach out to you? What's going to determine what
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  they do? As usual, Interest level.
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  If you've heard me talk about interest level, then you know
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  that interest level Trump's everything.
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  And for those of you who don't like that word, OK, interest
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  level supersedes everything haha.
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  And I learned about interest level from my good friend Doc
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  Love. So if you want to find out more
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  about that, I suggest you check out his ebook and the link to
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  that is underneath all of my videos.
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  Now you may be asking why would they come back if they said that
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  there was no chance that they would ever come back?
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  Well, X's have a way of burning bridges way too soon.
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  When people are emotional, logic goes out the window.
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  Emotions are running high on both sides.
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  During a breakup, words aren't always consistent with how
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  someone actually feels. You're too focused on their
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  words when you should be focused on their actions.
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  So when you change your behavior, you allow them the
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  time and space to change their mind.
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  You let FAB do its thing. What's FAB you may ask?
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  Faded effect bias, which I talked about in my video 7
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  Reasons Why the No Contact Rule Works on everyone.
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  And it just means that as time goes by, bad memories start to
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  fade and only the good memories remain.
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  And that obviously works in your favor.
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  That's why trying to get an X back soon after a breakup, like
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  days or even weeks, always backfires because the bad
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  memories have not yet gone away. If your ex is starting to
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  reconsider the breakup, they're going to be wondering what
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  they're going to get out of getting back together with you.
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  They only know what it's like to date the old version of you, so
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  you need to create a new dynamic.
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  The old dynamic obviously wasn't working or they wouldn't have
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  broken up with you, right? However, when you create a new
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  dynamic, they now have no idea what you would be like.
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  It's almost like dating a new person.
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  So how do you create this new dynamic?
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  Well, as I've said many times before, you level up and often
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  that means going to the gym for a lot of you.
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  Focus on what you can control, which is yourself.
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  And of course, as I already said, you do no contact.
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  And if you're having trouble with no contact, that's exactly
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  why I made my app, Silencio. So many people have said that
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  the panic button and the counter, which counts the days
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  that you've been in, no contract has really helped them to not
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  break it, break it, break it. So be sure to check it out.
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  The link is underneath every video and podcast, so do not
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  reach out unless you cheated or took them for granted.
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  If they want you back, they're going to have to put in the
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  effort. Exes have a way of orbiting when
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  they've broken up with you. Yes, even if they said there was
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  no chance, they don't just go away.
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  No curiosity, ego, and yes, missing you.
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  Force them to stick around and see what you're up to.
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  So time is your friend. Trying to move things along so
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  that they will come back sooner rather than later is going to
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  backfire. And I've also done a video on
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  that topic. I've done a video on every
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  single topic about the power of time and no contact.
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  And I'll put the link up in the corner.
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  So let them work to win you back and be sure to ask them the six
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  questions that you ask your ex when they want to get back
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  together. And of course, if you haven't
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  seen that that video, yes, I will put the link up in the
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  right hand corner. So remember, if you want your ex
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  back and they said there's no chance of getting back together,
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  it is possible if you do things the right way instead of acting
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  out of emotion and fear of never getting them back or of them
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  moving on. In the words of Adele, just
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  because I said it, it don't mean that I meant it.
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  People say crazy things. And in fact, as I promised, I
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  have some comments. And here's the first one.
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  It said my ex used to insist 1000 times that no hope,
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  impossible, definitely not coming back for sure.
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  And after a few months he's back and apologize and asked me to
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  move to his place blah blah blah.
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  The future is so unpredictable. It sure is.
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  And then the other comment is my ex-husband told me that he no
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  longer loved me and wanted to pursue things with others.
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  Yikes. I focus on myself and looking
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  and feeling good. A few months passed and he
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  admitted to me he still has feelings for me and would love
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  to give us a chance. I'm so happy I will finally get
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  my family reunited. Hallelujah.
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  Good for you. So now I want to hear from you.
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  How long have you been in no contact and how is it going?
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  And if you would like my help to get your ex back, you can
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  contact me at theartoflove.net/coaching and we
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  will send you the rates. They are not on the website.
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  The direct link to that is underneath every single video
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  and podcast. If you found this video helpful,
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  hit the subscribe button. If you're listening to this as a
• 12:58
  podcast and want to help the show, then download the episode.
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  And finally, remember, love inspires, empowers, uplifts and
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  enlightens.