Latest / Healthy Boundaries for Moms| Christian Life Coach / EP 49: The Podcast Is Making Some Changes

Transcript

EP 49: The Podcast Is Making Some Changes · Healthy Boundaries for Moms| Christian Life Coach

• 0:00
  Have you ever realized that something you committed to, something you
• 0:04
  were actually excited about, just doesn't fit anymore?
• 0:08
  And then instead of changing it, you keep trying to make
• 0:11
  yourself fit the plan because changing the plan
• 0:16
  can feel kind of like quitting, right?
• 0:19
  It can feel like you failed, or maybe you think,
• 0:23
  but I already told everybody I was going to do this. Well, today I'm
• 0:28
  changing the plan. And strangely enough, I think making some changes
• 0:32
  to a podcast, which is about healthy boundaries,
• 0:36
  might be one of the best opportunities I've had
• 0:40
  to actually practice what I teach.
• 0:44
  If you're tired of people pleasing, caring too much,
• 0:48
  and wondering why peace still feels so hard to hold onto,
• 0:52
  you're in the right place. Hi, I'm Lori, mom, former people pleaser
• 0:57
  and your boundaries coach. Here we talk about how
• 1:00
  to protect your peace, set healthier boundaries, and get clear on what
• 1:04
  actually matters so that you can build a life that feels lighter,
• 1:08
  calmer, and more satisfying. So let's stop the chaos for
• 1:13
  a minute, moms, catch our breath, and get into this next episode.
• 1:20
  Hey friend, I'm Lori Grimes, And this is Healthy Boundaries for Moms.
• 1:25
  And if you've been following the podcast, you may have noticed that it's been
• 1:28
  a little radio silent lately.
• 1:32
  And I haven't released an episode for the last couple of weeks.
• 1:36
  And no, okay, nothing dramatic has happened, ladies.
• 1:40
  And I didn't quit the podcast. I just needed some
• 1:44
  space to really figure out what I wanted
• 1:47
  this next season to really look like. And I realized
• 1:52
  that before I recorded another episode, I just
• 1:56
  needed to talk to you about it, my listeners, because some
• 2:01
  things around here are gonna change. So I
• 2:06
  need to tell y'all that earlier this year I joined a program that was
• 2:09
  designed to teach podcasters like myself
• 2:14
  how to grow their shows and ultimately make a profitable
• 2:18
  business around them. And I did
• 2:22
  learn a lot, and I do think that the program pushed me outside
• 2:27
  of my comfort zone, and I did try things
• 2:30
  that I probably wouldn't have if I was just on my own.
• 2:35
  And I am grateful for the things that I picked up
• 2:39
  and I learned through it. But if I'm honest,
• 2:43
  I started doing a lot of things just because That's
• 2:47
  what I thought I was supposed to do. This was part of the program,
• 2:51
  and part of that program was 2
• 2:54
  episodes a week, building a Facebook community,
• 2:58
  starting a newsletter, you know, think about growing an audience
• 3:03
  and creating offers and marketing and monetizing and all the things
• 3:07
  that a podcaster might do to earn
• 3:11
  and make a business around it. And none of
• 3:15
  these things are bad within themselves. They're probably exactly
• 3:19
  the right strategy for somebody, just not me.
• 3:23
  And I eventually had to start asking myself some hard
• 3:26
  questions like, is this right for me? And more
• 3:30
  specifically, are these steps right for me in this
• 3:34
  season that I'm in? And my
• 3:38
  answer was actually no. So I made the decision to
• 3:43
  step away from that program, and I've been slowly
• 3:47
  figuring out what I want Healthy Boundaries for Moms to look
• 3:51
  like without these expectations
• 3:54
  attached to it. And here's
• 3:58
  where I think this becomes bigger than this podcast update,
• 4:02
  because how often, guys, are we doing this in our own lives,
• 4:06
  right? We decide um, how something
• 4:10
  is supposed to look. We make a
• 4:13
  plan, we start to commit,
• 4:16
  maybe we start telling everybody what we're gonna do, and then
• 4:21
  inevitably circumstances change. Maybe your capacity
• 4:25
  starts to shift, or your family dynamics is changing.
• 4:30
  You could have priorities that start to move around and change,
• 4:33
  or maybe we just change. Yeah, just maybe we're changing.
• 4:37
  But instead of reevaluating the plan, we just
• 4:41
  keep pushing harder. Have you done that? Just keep pushing
• 4:45
  through? I know I have. And sometimes we just call
• 4:49
  that consistency, or we say it's discipline.
• 4:52
  Sometimes we use it as a spiritual growth,
• 4:56
  like this is faithfulness. But sometimes it's just
• 5:00
  refusing to admit that something's just not working anymore.
• 5:05
  And a healthy boundary isn't always saying no to
• 5:10
  another person. Sometimes it just looks like saying, I'm not
• 5:14
  going to keep doing something simply
• 5:18
  because I once decided I should.
• 5:21
  There is a difference between all-out quitting because
• 5:25
  something is just getting hard and making an intentional
• 5:29
  decision because something just no longer is aligning with
• 5:34
  where you're supposed to be. So I've been thinking about John 15
• 5:38
  where Jesus talks about the vine and the branches. And in John 15:2,
• 5:42
  Jesus says this, he cuts off every branch in me that
• 5:46
  bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear
• 5:49
  fruit he prunes so it will
• 5:53
  be even more fruitful.
• 5:56
  So guys, I love that distinction because pruning
• 6:01
  isn't necessarily just getting rid of something that
• 6:04
  is bad. Sometimes you're cutting back something that was actually growing,
• 6:08
  but you're doing it because you want to make room for what's going
• 6:12
  to be more fruitful. You know,
• 6:15
  keyword more. And I think that's what I'm
• 6:19
  doing right now. I'm just, I'm pruning. So what does that actually
• 6:23
  mean for Healthy Boundaries for Moms, you might be asking yourself? Well,
• 6:26
  first, I'm going from 2 episodes a week
• 6:29
  to 1 episode a week. There will not
• 6:33
  be a separate midweek reset anymore. And don't
• 6:37
  get me wrong, I loved my midweek reset, okay? I love
• 6:41
  that I was able to get in there and coach you guys and try to
• 6:44
  get you back in the game midweek, but I I don't need to produce
• 6:48
  more just simply for the sake of giving y'all
• 6:52
  more. I'd rather give you one episode that
• 6:57
  I've really had time to think about and prepare and genuinely
• 7:01
  want to share with you. And I think that's also better
• 7:05
  for you guys as well because quantity is not
• 7:08
  better than quality. And I'm also closing the
• 7:13
  Healthy Boundaries for Moms Facebook group. I'm stepping away from the newsletter.
• 7:17
  And again, it's not because there's anything wrong with the Facebook group or the newsletter.
• 7:21
  Those are great things in themselves. I just think
• 7:24
  that I was creating more and more places that I needed to
• 7:28
  maintain and keep up. And right now I just want less
• 7:33
  infrastructure, and I'm craving and wanting more connection
• 7:37
  within this podcast. And also My kids,
• 7:41
  I've shared on this podcast, are in seasons where I'm being
• 7:44
  able to volunteer more and be more involved in their schools. Like my
• 7:49
  son's marching band needs a lot of parental activity
• 7:52
  and I love being a part of that. So I've stepped up my volunteering there.
• 7:57
  And also volunteering at my daughter's middle school in
• 8:02
  ways like chaperoning and things like that. And I'm also
• 8:06
  looking into some more opportunities to become more involved in
• 8:09
  ministry. And to take what I've learned about boundaries and
• 8:13
  what I've shared with you guys in this podcast and bring it into
• 8:17
  those spaces where I'm getting to share this information
• 8:22
  and experience with others as well. And I'm beginning to also
• 8:27
  explore the possibility of writing a book about boundaries.
• 8:30
  And notice I said explore. So guys,
• 8:34
  I'm not announcing a release date on a book. I'm not giving
• 8:38
  myself another deadline. I'm surely not going to
• 8:43
  make it into another thing I have to accomplish and
• 8:46
  check off the list. Instead, I'm just allowing myself
• 8:50
  to kind of just see where it goes. And that might actually
• 8:54
  be one of the biggest changes I'm making.
• 8:58
  So again, I am not stepping away from Healthy Boundaries
• 9:01
  for Moms. I'm putting healthier boundaries
• 9:05
  around Healthy Boundaries for Moms. That's a mouthful.
• 9:09
  And there's a difference. I'm deciding what I actually have
• 9:13
  capacity for, and I'm deciding where I believe my
• 9:17
  time is best spent with you guys. And I'm leaving
• 9:21
  some margin for God to show me what's next instead
• 9:25
  of filling every available space before
• 9:29
  he gets an opportunity to guide me. So maybe
• 9:32
  there's something in your life right now that needs the same type of evaluation that
• 9:36
  I'm doing. So not necessarily something you need to quit,
• 9:39
  but maybe just something that needs to change. Maybe the goal needs
• 9:44
  to get a little smaller or more practical. Maybe the schedule
• 9:48
  needs to change. Or maybe there's something that you're doing
• 9:53
  simply because you thought you're supposed to and someone
• 9:56
  expected that of you. Or maybe there's something good
• 10:00
  that's taking up way too much space that you don't have
• 10:05
  room for something better. You guys are—
• 10:09
  can give yourself the permission— that's the key word,
• 10:12
  permission— to reevaluate.
• 10:15
  You are allowed to learn something and then change
• 10:19
  your mind. I know that's mind-blowing, right?
• 10:24
  And changing the plan doesn't automatically mean you have failed,
• 10:28
  guys. Sometimes just changing the plan is the
• 10:32
  boundary. So there is one change I am actually
• 10:36
  very excited about. I want you to be more involved in what we
• 10:41
  talk about here. So instead of me just sitting down every week and
• 10:44
  deciding what I think you need to hear, I want to know what
• 10:48
  you're actually dealing with, like in your homes, in your jobs, with your kids,
• 10:52
  with your spouse. With your friends? What boundaries
• 10:56
  are you struggling with? Is there something
• 11:00
  happening in your marriage, with your
• 11:03
  friends, happening in your schedule?
• 11:06
  Are you struggling with people pleasing? Are you having trouble
• 11:11
  figuring out what's yours to carry and what isn't? I want to
• 11:14
  hear about it. So starting with this episode, you're going to see a link
• 11:18
  in the show notes where you can leave me a voice message.
• 11:22
  You can actually record your question and send it to
• 11:26
  me, and I may play your question and answer it on a
• 11:30
  future episode. So also, if you'd rather not record
• 11:33
  your voice, that's totally fine. You can also send me an email instead,
• 11:37
  and I will include that as well in the show notes. And if you
• 11:41
  want to stay anonymous, just tell me and I will not share your name
• 11:45
  or anything like that. I really want this next season of Healthy
• 11:49
  Boundaries for Moms to feel less like me talking
• 11:53
  at you and more like we're just sitting down as friends
• 11:57
  together talking through the things that are actually
• 12:01
  happening in our lives. So maybe
• 12:05
  that's the question I want to leave with you today. Is there anything
• 12:09
  in your life that you are continuing simply because it was
• 12:13
  one— at one point it was the plan? Again, maybe it's still
• 12:17
  the right plan for you, and maybe it just needs a little pruning.
• 12:21
  Give yourself permission— remember that word, permission— to
• 12:25
  ask the question. Because boundaries aren't only about protecting
• 12:29
  yourself from unhealthy people or learning
• 12:32
  how to say no. They're also about being a good steward of your time and
• 12:36
  your energy and your responsibility in the life
• 12:40
  God has actually given to you, not the life You
• 12:44
  know, you thought you were supposed to be living, and sometimes that
• 12:48
  means having the courage to change.
• 12:54
  If today's episode helped you, friend, make sure you
• 12:58
  are following Healthy Boundaries for Moms and share it
• 13:03
  with a friend or a family member who might need it too. And I
• 13:06
  want to hear from you. Have a question or
• 13:11
  a situation you'd like me to talk about on the podcast, leave me a voice
• 13:13
  message using the link in the show notes or send your
• 13:17
  question to me by email. You may just hear your question answered
• 13:20
  on an upcoming episode. So until next week, friend, keep choosing
• 13:24
  the boundaries that protect what matters most.