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Longevity Episode 57 · The Body Love Construct

• 0:01
  Speaker: Hi, Tina.
• 0:02
  Speaker: Hi Lisa.
• 0:04
  Speaker: You know, Lisa, the last few I guess a few podcasts ago.
• 0:09
  Speaker: You know, we've been talking about self care and then we talked about immortality.
• 0:15
  Speaker: And this week I, you know, I was working on some things and I, I just can't get the word longevity outta my mind.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 0:26
  Speaker: And longevity in, its many different, it has different meanings.
• 0:32
  Speaker: And so I thought about, I wrote, just wrote this piece recently where you used the same word with different meanings and try to get all the meanings in the narrative.
• 0:43
  Speaker: It's very inter, it's a very interesting challenge for yourself to do it.
• 0:46
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 0:46
  Speaker: Longevity was not the word I used, but you know, I thought about.
• 0:52
  Speaker: Longevity in the sense that, you know, when I started writing, which is now, you know, you know that I've been writing most of my life, but mm-hmm.
• 1:02
  Speaker: Writing seriously to get published and, you know, have some other things happen.
• 1:08
  Speaker: Really started in all.
• 1:11
  Speaker: Seriousness, meaning I was really putting my mind to it in 20, in 2016.
• 1:16
  Speaker: So it is, hasn't been 10 years yet, it'll be 10 years next year.
• 1:21
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 1:22
  Speaker: And I recently happily recently had a story accepted that I really wanted.
• 1:34
  Speaker: To get published.
• 1:36
  Speaker: So I submitted, you know, you have to wait and you have to get Drew in, but it got accepted.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 1:43
  Speaker: And I thought about, you know, it's taken me, it took me a long time before the first time I got published.
• 1:50
  Speaker: And then I've been working on this particular concept with this particular story for a while.
• 1:56
  Speaker: And I have kind of pitched it a little bit here and there.
• 2:02
  Speaker: But staying to something, you know, staying the course as they say.
• 2:08
  Speaker: And sort of believing.
• 2:09
  Speaker: And it sometimes it does take a long time.
• 2:14
  Speaker: We don't get things Yeah.
• 2:15
  Speaker: Everything, it does not come right away.
• 2:18
  Speaker: And it's really.
• 2:19
  Speaker: So that's one sort of aspect of longevity is that it's, you know, you're running, what do they say?
• 2:24
  Speaker: It's, it's not a, it's not a, it's a marathon.
• 2:27
  Speaker: Whatever those things about the marathon and the race, you know, whatever that cliche is, like, I hate using stuff like that.
• 2:33
  Speaker: But it, it is things that people can relate to, you know, that you're, it's, it's a marathon, not a sprint or whatever, whatever.
• 2:41
  Speaker: It's mm-hmm.
• 2:42
  Speaker: That we have to sort of stay the course when we believe in something.
• 2:45
  Speaker: And not let anything get in the way.
• 2:48
  Speaker: Of continuing to move forward.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: You know,, I'm, that some I was kind of thinking about earlier which is I had gone to a business like little workshop.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: And I had gotten on the hot seat during the workshop and one of the things that I found out on the hot seat, I think I may have mentioned this before, was that instead of doing one-on-one coaching, I actually really deep down inside preferred to do retreats.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: And that was one of those things that I didn't really fully.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: Launch into, or start, but kept it in the back of my head and, you know, made tiny, tiny, just the tiniest little movements towards it.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: And I was just thinking about this the other day, that you know, now that I'm moving out of the country and into a place where I could actually host these things.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: In person without all the, I don't know, the rigamarole that I would have to face coming from a different place.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: I would be there and I, I just kind of thought about the fact that I didn't, I never let go of that.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: And.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: And it, it, I had pushed it to the back of my head and it just popped back up into the front.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: And I think there's a reason, I don't know what the reason is, but these things that they happen that way.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: You just have it, it's in the back of your mind, you're storing it and then one day it pops back out and you're like, oh yeah.
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: I feel, I feel the time is right and.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: My, my business coach was, she was very encouraging and also aggressive.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: She'd be like, start it now.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: Do it now.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: Do this thing now.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: I was like, Oh my God, I dunno what to do.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: And I just wasn't ready to do it.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: But there is something to say for you know, yes, it's years later, but I just think that now is more appropriate than.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: Then, and there's nothing wrong with that.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 5:01
  Speaker: Well, you know, I think because recently you, you do know that I, I, we, we talked about me losing a per a person in my life that was very important to me on the, mm-hmm.
• 5:13
  Speaker: On the discussion about immortality.
• 5:15
  Speaker: But unfortunately, I have listened to friends tell me about the amount of funerals and they've gone to impasse and not.
• 5:27
  Speaker: People who are older, people who are young, you know?
• 5:32
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 5:32
  Speaker: Some, a friend of mine was telling me about some a person that they know and their child.
• 5:39
  Speaker: Drowned.
• 5:40
  Speaker: And it's, and it's just all of this.
• 5:42
  Speaker: So the age range of people passing that I've heard about in the last few weeks has really been astounding to me, not to mm-hmm.
• 5:49
  Speaker: Not to mention the celebrity people that have passed away.
• 5:52
  Speaker: So there's all this stuff about passing away and you think about the fact that a, you know, a 14-year-old, they're never gonna have the longevity we've had in life to do anything.
• 6:05
  Speaker: They've just mm-hmm.
• 6:06
  Speaker: Not gonna have all of that.
• 6:08
  Speaker: And so I've thought about, again, what is it that I would like to do?
• 6:14
  Speaker: What's important to me?
• 6:17
  Speaker: What, what do I wanna accomplish that maybe I haven't accomp or do that I haven't done that I wanna do?
• 6:25
  Speaker: And then the things that maybe feed into my more to the purpose or my purpose.
• 6:30
  Speaker: What I think I should be doing here with the rest of my time on this earth.
• 6:36
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 6:36
  Speaker: And because again, we know that time is not promised.
• 6:40
  Speaker: And just to listen to one friend tell me about eight people who have passed away, that is astounding to me.
• 6:47
  Speaker: Wow.
• 6:48
  Speaker: Yeah, that is a lot.
• 6:49
  Speaker: It's a lot.
• 6:49
  Speaker: And you know, just to list them off, I'm just thinking, holy moly, you know, it's just people are leaving us.
• 7:00
  Speaker: For various different reasons.
• 7:01
  Speaker: You know, sometimes it's, it's a tragedy.
• 7:04
  Speaker: Sometimes it's, none of them were a murder.
• 7:07
  Speaker: So let me just put it like that, fortunately.
• 7:08
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 7:09
  Speaker: And fortunately, it's not even the word you wanna use, but you certainly hearing about somebody murdered is a whole different thing than if they pass away.
• 7:17
  Speaker: But certainly any other tragedy being killed in an accident in any kind of accidental way is, is a tragedy, I don't know.
• 7:23
  Speaker: I guess maybe that, and I was also.
• 7:27
  Speaker: On a Zoom for a project that I am training to do volunteer work in.
• 7:34
  Speaker: And it, the focus is the people that are the volunteers, which would be me and the people that are in the training, we're all people that are senior citizens.
• 7:43
  Speaker: They call me the baby senior.
• 7:45
  Speaker: 'Cause I have.
• 7:45
  Speaker: I'm not over 70 yet, thank, and I won't be over 74, a few more years, but yeah.
• 7:52
  Speaker: You know, so I'm still get to be a baby senior, but the fact that the delivery to the, we don't call'em clients, but they're called visitors that come to this particular, it's called the Friendship bench.
• 8:03
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 8:04
  Speaker: They'll be coming there can be any age to come sit on the friendship bench and have a conversation, or actually to really talk to.
• 8:13
  Speaker: What we're, we're called grandparents, And I was on the training, and so everybody in the training is a senior.
• 8:22
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 8:22
  Speaker: And so, and then all the people that have been doing this before are also seniors.
• 8:26
  Speaker: And this particular program, it's called, it is called the Friendship Bench, originated in Zimbabwe.
• 8:33
  Speaker: And it was the elders in the village.
• 8:36
  Speaker: It was started again by this gentleman there, and it's the elders in the village.
• 8:39
  Speaker: Were sitting and holding sessions with the younger people in the, the villages, and it's, and they adapted it here.
• 8:50
  Speaker: This is a group called Help Age.
• 8:52
  Speaker: USA has adapted it here.
• 8:55
  Speaker: They've been, offering this around the district.
• 8:59
  Speaker: So the, the benches are in the district.
• 9:01
  Speaker: It's also the friendship benches are in some other areas, not too widely.
• 9:05
  Speaker: They have'em in New York some other foreign countries, and they were talking about, they just started up in Germany, so it's not everywhere.
• 9:13
  Speaker: But DC has a good amount of benches around the city that people can, sign up for.
• 9:19
  Speaker: But anyway, I think just sitting on.
• 9:22
  Speaker: The zoom and listen, listening to the wisdom in the community on the zoom of people, you know, we're all people of a different age.
• 9:34
  Speaker: We have seen a lot.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 9:37
  Speaker: And, and that is, and then maybe that is probably why this word longevity kept jumping up in my head because what I was witnessing and listening to their stories.
• 9:50
  Speaker: That we're being told as you're introducing yourself and then when you break out into groups of, of what people have lived through.
• 9:58
  Speaker: And so again, you know, longevity has different.
• 10:02
  Speaker: Sort of ways you can list, you know, use this word longevity and what it means to you.
• 10:09
  Speaker: You know, it could be staying the course, it could be, you know, waiting to go get it, you know, that sort of thing.
• 10:14
  Speaker: But I don't know, I just can, it's just that that word just kept coming up has come up for me quite a bit today and I'm like, oh, I'll throw that out for conversation and see where we go with it.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, actually, I've thought of things like that before.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: I, I've always imagined, like if I went to a senior center and just sat down and talked with people who lived through different, points in history that predate my life.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: And how fascinating that would be to hear about history from somebody who was there, not from a book, not from a movie, but from somebody who can tell you and, and describe what they saw and how they felt.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: And all the senses and, and things.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: And I just think that that is fascinating and I, I know that.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: It would probably be good for the person who's describing too.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: 'cause I think, you know, sometimes people don't see their value.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: And that is extremely vi valuable.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: I could see me sitting there completely engrossed and amazed by, and it doesn't even have to be some super duper extraordinary story about how somebody, you know, saved the, the people in the war or some, something like that.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: It could just be, you know, ordinary life.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: But.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: A life that I never saw.
• 11:36
  Speaker: Well, I will share the story that is going to be published on the 18th of August.
• 11:44
  Speaker: Well, I'll leave it at, it's supposed to be published on the 18th of August, but I'll probably tell more about it once I actually see it for people to actually take a look at.
• 11:53
  Speaker: But what I will say about it is to your point of.
• 11:58
  Speaker: Hearing like these stories that are really compelling stories from people's lives.
• 12:03
  Speaker: We have to also understand that there are small stories in our average everyday life that are equally as important.
• 12:11
  Speaker: And this piece that got selected for publication are all these sort of small moments from my life.
• 12:18
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 12:20
  Speaker: That.
• 12:21
  Speaker: Somebody else.
• 12:22
  Speaker: It may not mean anything to, but I, what I will say is when somebody, obviously, when they read it,'cause you know you get juror, you have to submit and then it gets jarred is it must have resonated with people.
• 12:34
  Speaker: These small things that we, we we're so focused on the big stuff
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: mm-hmm.
• 12:39
  Speaker: That sometimes we miss how important the little stuff is.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:45
  Speaker: It, it doesn't have to be this huge, significant thing.
• 12:49
  Speaker: It could be just a, just a little something that you'll remember from your life.
• 12:54
  Speaker: And when we started, you know, getting together, originally when, before we started, before a year later, we decided to make a podcast out of the body love construct.
• 13:03
  Speaker: You know, we were talking about the stories that we possess that are within us.
• 13:08
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 13:09
  Speaker: And I'm just gonna say, don't wait for the big story.
• 13:12
  Speaker: Just don't wait for the big stories.
• 13:14
  Speaker: There's lots of, there's a lot of little stories that are sitting.
• 13:18
  Speaker: And again, as I was sitting on this Zoom, listening to people who I don't know, but there, all these people live in the district of Maryland so that they're in the training, they're all in the area because they're training to do this here.
• 13:30
  Speaker: But even the women who were conducting the training, they're conducting the training from Africa.
• 13:36
  Speaker: So we're on a call with.
• 13:38
  Speaker: Two women that are in African.
• 13:40
  Speaker: I loved it.
• 13:41
  Speaker: 'cause one of them is Auntie Ethel and I just thought that was mm-hmm.
• 13:44
  Speaker: So wonderful.
• 13:46
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 13:46
  Speaker: Just listening to them and this, listening to her, some of what she was saying, it's just like this, all this again, this's so much, you know, again, our whole thing is about generational.
• 13:59
  Speaker: Body love and genera, but generational body love is not just the physical body as we've always said.
• 14:05
  Speaker: It's so many other things, and social is one of them.
• 14:09
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 14:09
  Speaker: And spiritual is one of them.
• 14:11
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 14:11
  Speaker: And not.
• 14:13
  Speaker: To me, the social and spiritual aspect of storytelling is a really important thing, and we do need to think about, again, when we started this, we started talking about having the stories that our bodies tell us is, is getting this information or telling these stories, or just telling it.
• 14:32
  Speaker: You don't have to tell it to anybody else, tell it to yourself.
• 14:35
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 14:36
  Speaker: And then maybe share and then share it with your family.
• 14:39
  Speaker: And I, again, initially when we started, that was one of the things that we were saying, you know, get, find your stories and share your stories and pass'em on.
• 14:47
  Speaker: Again, our tagline is about passing it on.
• 14:50
  Speaker: That's the last thing we said.
• 14:51
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 14:52
  Speaker: Right.
• 14:52
  Speaker: And so I think having.
• 14:56
  Speaker: Spent time in training this morning and it's several hours of training.
• 15:00
  Speaker: It's not an hour.
• 15:02
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 15:02
  Speaker: So you're with people that, again, on the Zoom for a a period of time.
• 15:05
  Speaker: I will eventually meet the people that are here in the district., I would love to meet the, these women from Africa, but you know, unfortunately sidebar, and they were saying that they don't know when they'll be able to come to the United States again.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 15:19
  Speaker: Which really broke my heart when and when I, you know, you know that that's happening.
• 15:23
  Speaker: But then to hear, to see somebody who's actually been here mm-hmm.
• 15:28
  Speaker: Or because of what was, because the friendship benches here in the district, they've actually been here and that they are not going to be able to come back so easily.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: I have, this is just a little side thing that, you know, I've talked to some people who live in Canada and they are academics and they had.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: You know, they have things planned all throughout 2025.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: And they just canceled all of it.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: And it was just the advice, not, not only the advice they were given, but that's just what, what they thought that was best to do.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: And, you know, being on the, on the receiving end of that was, it wasn't a good feeling at all.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: Mm, mm-hmm.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: I felt like, oh damn.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: One of them might be American, I'm not sure if she's Canadian or American, two black ladies.
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: And, and she was like, Uhuh, I ain't coming back.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: Forget that.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: Staying right where I am.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: And I was like, well, yeah.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: 'cause I, the conversation we were having was in Trinidad and Tobago.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: We weren't, we weren't here in the US So and they always ask me questions about what's going on and, and they were saying that they canceled.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: These academic conferences, or they didn't cancel the conferences, they canceled their attendance at the conferences.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: Because mm-hmm.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: They're not so they're not, they're worried about their safety and worrying about what might happen, trying to get in or out.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: Right,
• 16:51
  Speaker: right, right.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 16:52
  Speaker: Sad.
• 16:53
  Speaker: Ooh.
• 16:53
  Speaker: It is, it is.
• 16:54
  Speaker: It is sad.
• 16:55
  Speaker: I, I guess that brings up, when I think about what's going on, longevity, again, I have lived long, long enough to see so many different things, and it's sad to me that we're now in an era of backward It's mm-hmm.
• 17:09
  Speaker: At this stage in my life, I never thought that that's what I would be starting to live through.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: We had to just come to terms with it.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: I mean, it took me a while to just like thinking, are we really doing this?
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: Are we really, really doing this?
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: And yeah.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: Well we are.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: So we, we need to, you know adjust to our new realities the best we can.
• 17:31
  Speaker: I guess the last thing I'll say about longevity is the fact that, you know, while there are people passing away, I also know people who are still living and living into their nineties.
• 17:42
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 17:43
  Speaker: Including my father.
• 17:45
  Speaker: That and the differences in lives.
• 17:50
  Speaker: I have a friend whose mother is 98 and she's sharp as tack.
• 17:55
  Speaker: Wow.
• 17:56
  Speaker: And I mean, sharp as t you.
• 17:59
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 17:59
  Speaker: You know, still gets on her clothes every day.
• 18:02
  Speaker: Full faculty in her, in her mind, and still is moving.
• 18:05
  Speaker: And then I know people within their, in their nineties, in various different states of where they are with life.
• 18:11
  Speaker: And again, you know, that's, that is longevity.
• 18:14
  Speaker: They have stayed the course to their nineties, but when you get in your nineties, it, you could have been doing the the best things to keep your health really well.
• 18:25
  Speaker: And then something happens and there's things in your body.
• 18:27
  Speaker: So I'm gonna say.
• 18:29
  Speaker: With longevity the longer we go.
• 18:32
  Speaker: You should also know your family's health history, so you may be aware of what might, things you might need to look out for within your own.
• 18:39
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 18:39
  Speaker: Own life.
• 18:40
  Speaker: So I'll leave it at that.
• 18:41
  Speaker: Right?
• 18:42
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 18:42
  Speaker: I need to go further with that, but it's all generational information.
• 18:47
  Speaker: Mm-hmm.
• 18:48
  Speaker: And like generational body love.
• 18:51
  Speaker: You must just like Jennifer, digital Wealth.
• 18:53
  Speaker: You must pass it on.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: Bye.
• 18:57
  Speaker: Bye.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: Thank you for listening to another episode of the Body Love Construct, where we have intelligent opinion-based conversations around reconstructing the generational conditioning that has influenced black women's narratives about themselves.
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: Our main purpose with the body love construct and this podcast is to engage our audience by having more non-traditional conversations.
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: Present day and historical issues, situations, behaviors, events and beliefs that affect how we see ourselves and how others perceive, make assumptions about copy, treat, see or unsee us as black women.
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: Through our discussions, we hope you will find something that gets you to thinking about the stories you formed about yourself.
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: Self and determine if perhaps it's time to rethink a few things.
• 19:45
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• 19:54
  Speaker 3: You can also follow us on Instagram at the Body Love Construct for the current episode offerings, and tips for being more connected to and appreciative of your total body, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and social.