Latest / The Daily Sarcast / June 23rd, 2026: The Sandwich That Broke J.P. Morgan, A Slapped Flight Attendant And Bubby's Birthday

Transcript

June 23rd, 2026: The Sandwich That Broke J.P. Morgan, A Slapped Flight Attendant And Bubby's Birthday · The Daily Sarcast

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  Today's episode is brought to you by people who watch the nightly news,
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  also known as your parents.
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  I am not posing nude. Those days are over. Hunter Biden on X about posing for Playboy.
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  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news and may be a laugh.
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  I'm Lindsay Vernick and today is June 23rd, 2026.
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  Hey guys, happy Tuesday.
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  Let's get into the news.
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  An old J.P. Morgan financial advisor who was fired after expensing a $642.50.
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  Super Bowl sandwich platter was given $4.25 million in arbitration.
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  The problem wasn't that he ordered these sandwiches on his work credit card.
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  The issue was that the expense report listed the deli's address instead of his
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  home where the Super Bowl party actually was.
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  J.P. Morgan said that that violated company policy and fired him.
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  But then the guy argued back that the sandwich platter was actually just an
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  excuse to be fired and that the real reason he was fired was that the bank could keep his clients.
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  So an arbitration panel apparently found his argument convincing enough to give
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  him $4.25 million. dollars.
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  And now J.P. Morgan is asking a court to throw out this money.
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  So to recap, a tray of sandwiches has generated a legal battle worth more money
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  than most people will ever earn in their entire lifetime.
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  Forget stocks, forget crypto, forget working.
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  Apparently, the hottest investment strategy now is turkey, ham, and provolone.
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  But honestly, if I ever get fired over a sandwich platter, I hope it's at least from somewhere fancy.
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  If my career ends because of a six-foot subway party sub, trust me, I'll be suing too.
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  A Delta flight from Fort Lauderdale to L.A.
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  Was forced to make an emergency stop in Atlanta after a passenger slapped a
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  flight attendant on the butt because she skipped his drink order.
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  The flight attendant thought the passenger was asleep, so she just moved on
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  when she was giving out the drinks, right?
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  But then a few moments later, she felt a hard slap on her butt enough to move her body forward.
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  The passenger responded with a very timeless legal defensive. I didn't do anything.
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  But if you've ever watched true crime or have been a person yourself,
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  you know that that's not what usually innocent people say.
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  The pilot diverted the entire plane to Atlanta where cops were waiting once the flight landed.
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  Imagine being on that flight. You're literally halfway to LA from Fort Lauderdale.
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  You're just trying to watch a movie and suddenly the pilot comes on and says,
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  folks, we're making an unexpected stop because one grown man was unable to process
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  not receiving a ginger ale within five minutes.
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  Some people complain about airline food. Some people complain about leg room.
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  Others slap flight attendants on the butt when they don't get a drink.
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  The good news is that he's caught everyone's attention. The bad news is that it was the FBI's.
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  Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene says she doesn't have health insurance
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  and went to Mexico for stem cell therapy.
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  MGT says health care costs in America are out of control and that more people
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  are turning to medical tourism for treatments they either can't afford or can't
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  access in the U.S. It's wild.
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  A member of Congress filming a video in Mexico explaining why she doesn't have
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  health insurance in America.
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  That's like seeing a pilot take a Greyhound bus and saying, yeah,
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  the airline industry has some issues.
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  MGT says the treatment she wanted isn't approved in the U.S.,
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  which raises a very interesting question.
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  How bad is American healthcare messaging when people are crossing international
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  borders for treatment while Americans are crossing international borders for
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  cheaper prescriptions, dental work, surgeries, and now apparently stem cells?
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  The crazy part is that half the internet is arguing about her,
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  while the other half is kind of googling, wait, how much is a flight to Puerto Vallera?
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  In Lindsay Life, I am back in Philly to celebrate my grandmother's birthday.
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  And we went all the way down to my uncle's amazing, amazing restaurant in Wilmington,
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  Delaware. It's called Bardea, if you've ever heard of it.
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  On the way down, she talked about how much she loves scotch and couldn't wait
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  to order it at the restaurant. And we're like, Bubby, Bubby,
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  you don't drink scotch. What are you talking about?
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  And she was like, but I love it, guys. and we're like okay but like you also
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  really enjoy gin and tonics and she was like oh my god yes oh my god i do love
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  gin and tonics i'll order that,
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  so when we get to the restaurant we sit down she orders a gin and tonic i kid you not,
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  once she's halfway done with this gin and tonic she waves the waiter over and orders a new one,
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  so this girl is like and i probably shouldn't be saying you this girl because
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  she's literally turning 87
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  years old today but she literally wouldn't stop turning to me and be like,
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  I can't believe I made it this far I never thought I would be here like over
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  and over again she was literally on cloud nine at this restaurant I mean she
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  hasn't been out in like literally months for dinner so she was just so happy.
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  It was so sweet she kept saying that her birthday was next month too so she
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  needed to come back and on the way home my grandmother was telling us how her
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  television is in chinese and i was like bobby how long have you been watching tv in chinese for,
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  she was like i don't know so when we dropped her off my dad went up to look and check on the tv,
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  it turns out that the tv wasn't in chinese they were just it was on a weird
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  setting where everyone was just talking really really fast so it sounded like chinese,
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  Anyways, I'm back in the city now for the rest of the week, thank God.
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  But don't worry, I'll be back in Philly next week for work, so we'll have lots
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  more family updates then.
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  Lindsay Lessons, a lesson by Lindsay. When you go to a restaurant that you've
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  never been to before and you have no idea what to order,
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  get up and do a lap around the room like how the hostesses do when they're checking
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  on tables to see how far along they are, and just look at what dishes look good.
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  And slowly walk around looking at everyone's table. You look super creepy, but like, who cares?
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  You gotta know what you need to order for dinner.
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  Cooking tip of the day. The roots of celery are very delicious if you cook them correctly.
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  Feedback, comments, questions, and ice Jewish by looking for a date,
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  email me at lindsay at thedailysourcast.com.
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  Thanks so much for listening. Talk to you guys tomorrow.