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Are You Fighting Yourself On The Way To Your Goal? · A Life Without Struggle

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Speaker 1: My name is Erin Lindauer, and you're listening to A
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Speaker 1: Life Without Struggle. I'm a wife, a mother of two
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Speaker 1: wonderful children, a two-time best-selling author, and a highly driven
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Speaker 1: and successful entrepreneur. In my 17 plus year career as
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Speaker 1: a mindset and health expert, I know what holds women
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Speaker 1: back from a life you only dream about. Whether you're
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Speaker 1: a CEO, a businesswoman or executive, I started this podcast
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Speaker 1: because I have been where you are and I know
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Speaker 1: you want and deserve more out of your life. I
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Speaker 1: believe women are limitless. We just get lost along the way.
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Speaker 1: The process to get you there is the topic and
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Speaker 1: purpose of this podcast. When you understand what you want,
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Speaker 1: you can truly step into a life without struggle. Welcome,
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Speaker 1: and I'm so thankful you're here. Welcome back to another
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Speaker 1: episode of Life Without Struggle. My name is Erin Lindauer,
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Speaker 1: and today's podcast is going to be, are you fighting
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Speaker 1: yourself on the way to your goal? So why weight
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Speaker 1: loss gets easier when you stop negotiating with yourself. Okay.
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Speaker 1: So this, this is where I catch women. Okay. And,
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Speaker 1: and I catch women who really think they're fighting their
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Speaker 1: own body. Okay. Now there's a whole lot of psychological OMG.
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Speaker 1: When you really think, oh my gosh, it's my hormones.
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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. It's my metabolism. It's my age. It's
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Speaker 1: that darn scale, Erin. It just keeps lying to me.
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Speaker 1: And sometimes the biggest fight is happening between the woman
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Speaker 1: who says she wants the result and the woman who
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Speaker 1: makes the decisions all day, every day, okay? So hear
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Speaker 1: me out. When you say, I wanna lose 20 pounds, okay?
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Speaker 1: You also want Friday night to also mean Anything goes.
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Speaker 1: Those calories don't matter. Aaron, calories on the weekend don't
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Speaker 1: add up, right? You want consistency, but every decision depends
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Speaker 1: on how you feel. Okay, I'm probably not going to
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Speaker 1: win friends today on this topic, but if your emotions
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Speaker 1: dictate whether you can do the work, whether you can
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Speaker 1: go to your job, right? And this is what I
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Speaker 1: want to call out is like, okay, if you can
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Speaker 1: get up and go and do your job all day,
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Speaker 1: every day, when you don't feel like it, when you're
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Speaker 1: not inspired, right? You can do that with weight loss too. Okay,
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Speaker 1: now I'm gonna call out that, hey, weight loss can
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Speaker 1: be easy and effortless when you have the right strategy,
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Speaker 1: you have the right motivation, but guess what? You're not
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Speaker 1: always gonna be motivated. And guess what? We're not always
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Speaker 1: motivated to get up and do the job every single day.
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Speaker 1: And I get that, okay? But when you want every
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Speaker 1: decision to depend on how you feel, like girlfriend, you're
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Speaker 1: going to keep fighting yourself. You say you want a result, right?
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Speaker 1: but you're constantly negotiating with every behavior that's going to
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Speaker 1: be required to create the result. So this is where
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Speaker 1: you have internal friction. You say you want something, but
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Speaker 1: then you constantly are fighting it. Now, okay, I only
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Speaker 1: will speak on topics because I I've been there too, baby, okay?
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Speaker 1: I've been there too. Now, for me, I've negotiated more
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Speaker 1: with my success, with my business, with having to become
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Speaker 1: the new version of me that will do the things
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Speaker 1: required in order to get the result that I want, okay?
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Speaker 1: So I've negotiated with myself on putting out content, on
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Speaker 1: becoming the leader that I know that I needed to be, that,
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Speaker 1: you know what? Some days you just don't feel like it. Okay,
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Speaker 1: some days you just, whatever. But when you still get
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Speaker 1: up and you do the things, no matter how you feel,
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Speaker 1: guess what? You start seeing the fruits of your labor.
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Speaker 1: You start seeing the result. You start seeing that scale move.
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Speaker 1: So how many arguments, this is what I want to
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Speaker 1: ask you guys here today. How many arguments have you
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Speaker 1: had with yourself today? If you were to know. So
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Speaker 1: it goes something like this. I know I should work out,
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Speaker 1: but I'm tired. I said I wasn't going to drink tonight,
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Speaker 1: but everyone else is. And you grab the drink. You
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Speaker 1: packed your lunch. Everybody in the office wants Mexican. Erin,
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Speaker 1: I don't want to not be with the group. I
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Speaker 1: know the scale fluctuates. but I'm up two pounds. So
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Speaker 1: clearly nothing is working and we're just going to throw
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Speaker 1: in the towel, right? This is welcome to every Friday
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Speaker 1: in Erin Lindauer's world. And for all my clients listening
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Speaker 1: to this, I love you. And this is why we're
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Speaker 1: working together. And this is why we make everything make sense. Okay.
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Speaker 1: But this is what happens is I hear women say,
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Speaker 1: I'm up two pounds. Oh my gosh, the scales, like
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Speaker 1: it's not working, throw it all out. And I also
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Speaker 1: hear you say, I want to lose weight, but I
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Speaker 1: also don't want to feel like I have to think
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Speaker 1: like this forever. Okay, so imagine how much easier this
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Speaker 1: journey would be if you stopped having to convince yourself
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Speaker 1: every single day. That's what we're going to talk about
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Speaker 1: here today, because this is what I know is actually
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Speaker 1: possible when you go all in on you. You say
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Speaker 1: you want the results, but do your decisions every day
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Speaker 1: agree with you? So this isn't meant to shame. This
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Speaker 1: isn't meant to make you feel guilty because you are smart.
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Speaker 1: You are intelligent. And you want the result. Otherwise, you
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Speaker 1: wouldn't be wasting your time listening to podcasts like this,
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Speaker 1: listening to content like this. But wanting something and being
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Speaker 1: willing to consistently make decisions in alignment with it, those
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Speaker 1: are different, okay? So wanting something and being willing to
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Speaker 1: make the consistent decision every single day is totally different, okay?
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Speaker 1: If I couldn't hear what you say you want and
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Speaker 1: could only watch your decisions for the next 30 days, okay?
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Speaker 1: What would I think your goal was? Okay. Now I
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Speaker 1: share this because I think this will be helpful is
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Speaker 1: I had a business coach who flat out told me
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Speaker 1: if I didn't post a talking head every single day
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Speaker 1: on social media that I wasn't allowed to coach with
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Speaker 1: him anymore. Okay. And I really respected this coach and
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Speaker 1: I really regarded his help in helping me get through
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Speaker 1: my own obstacles that I was actually creating. And how
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Speaker 1: simple is it to flip your camera on and record
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Speaker 1: a damn message and post it on the internet? I mean,
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Speaker 1: pretty flipping simple, right? But here's me. Well, my hair
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Speaker 1: doesn't look okay. My face is all whatever. I don't
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Speaker 1: know what to say and nobody is going to like it.
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Speaker 1: And you can hear me negotiating with myself. Okay. So
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Speaker 1: I hope you guys are laughing, but I want you
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Speaker 1: to know it's no different. Okay. So If you followed
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Speaker 1: me now, you would see that posting on social media
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Speaker 1: is not a big deal. Okay. I got out of
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Speaker 1: my own flipping way. And as a byproduct, you should
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Speaker 1: see the success that I am seeing. Okay. I am
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Speaker 1: seeing my business naturally grow. Okay. We live in a very,
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Speaker 1: very interesting time that guess what? When you put stuff
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Speaker 1: on the internet, yeah, it's got to have some value and,
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Speaker 1: and you got to do a good job, but that's
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Speaker 1: what I do. That's who I am. Okay. And every
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Speaker 1: time I post, what's really cool is another woman gets
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Speaker 1: an opportunity to see what is possible. And that's where
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Speaker 1: every single day I remind myself of the bigger mission
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Speaker 1: that I'm actually on. Okay, I'm on a bigger mission
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Speaker 1: to truly help women transform themselves and become that new
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Speaker 1: version of themselves. But if I followed you, okay, for
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Speaker 1: even just one week, I watched how you ate. I
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Speaker 1: watched how you moved your body. I watched how you
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Speaker 1: went to sleep at night. What, what goal would we
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Speaker 1: be working towards? Okay. So hopefully that is a, oh damn,
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Speaker 1: she just kind of checked me for a hot second,
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Speaker 1: but listen, I got checked myself too. And it was
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Speaker 1: a good thing and it completely changed me. Okay. So
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Speaker 1: We have to watch the patterns. Your patterns tell the
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Speaker 1: truth of your current priorities. So we have to stop
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Speaker 1: expecting yourself to want to make the right decision. Okay,
9:27
Speaker 1: this is going to be a teaching point that I
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Speaker 1: want you to listen up on because sometimes you don't
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Speaker 1: want to work out. Sometimes you'd rather order the burger
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Speaker 1: and fries. Sometimes you'd rather have the glass of wine.
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Speaker 1: I totally get you. Sometimes getting in bed sounds boring
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Speaker 1: compared to doom scrolling or watching one more show, Erin,
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Speaker 1: just one more, which you and I both know it's
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Speaker 1: going to be like three more. Okay. I want to
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Speaker 1: validate that that is normal. The problem is believing that
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Speaker 1: if this were really becoming my lifestyle, I would want
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Speaker 1: to do it. So no, listen, healthy people don't just
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Speaker 1: magically crave like every healthy behavior. They simply just stopped
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Speaker 1: requiring themselves to feel like it. Some days we do
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Speaker 1: get all up in our feels and I totally appreciate it,
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Speaker 1: but we don't need your feelings to agree with every decision.
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Speaker 1: I am super, super scared of being under anesthesia. I
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Speaker 1: have never been under anesthesia and I need to have
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Speaker 1: a colonoscopy. Okay. So we're getting there in age. Okay.
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Speaker 1: So these are the things we talk about, but I
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Speaker 1: am actually very, very scared to let go of control. Okay.
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Speaker 1: And what if I don't respond to the anesthesia now
10:57
Speaker 1: for all y'all who have already had anesthesia for all
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Speaker 1: of y'all who have already had a colonoscopy and you're like, dude,
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Speaker 1: it's the best like nap you'll ever have. I got you. Okay.
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Speaker 1: But for me, I have a belief that something's not
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Speaker 1: going to go right or something is whatever. And for
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Speaker 1: so many of you, you can sit there on the
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Speaker 1: other side and you can say, Erin, seriously, like it's
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Speaker 1: not a big deal. It's really not a big deal.
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Speaker 1: And guess what? It's super good to do this. It's
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Speaker 1: absolute preventative medicine, right? But I have a fear, okay?
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Speaker 1: And I'm feeling my feels versus saying, hey girl, detach.
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Speaker 1: So as easy as I can tell you something that
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Speaker 1: you're like, really, Aaron, that's really not a big deal.
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Speaker 1: I can feel these feels, but I can also just detach.
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Speaker 1: So I want you to see a real life scenario
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Speaker 1: where when I make the decision to just let it
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Speaker 1: go and go get it done. And guess what? I'm
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Speaker 1: going to be fine and it's all going to be great.
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Speaker 1: And it's a really important thing to do because number one,
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Speaker 1: I value my health. Number two, we, we do have
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Speaker 1: a lot of colon cancer in our family. And now
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Speaker 1: I believe in epigenetics and that I'm all safe and healthy,
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Speaker 1: but it's a really cool preventative thing that we can do.
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Speaker 1: And it's actually pretty simple. Okay. So I share that
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Speaker 1: because it's very, very simple for me to just get
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Speaker 1: out of my feels and make a decision. So The
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Speaker 1: negotiation is what is wearing you out. Women talk about
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Speaker 1: how exhausting weight loss feels, but sometimes it's not the
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Speaker 1: actual behaviors that are exhausting. It's the constant negotiation. I
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Speaker 1: watch this all day, every day. I watch women make
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Speaker 1: this brutal. I watch women make tracking this big to
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Speaker 1: do when in reality, I just want the damn picture. Okay.
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Speaker 1: If I just get a picture of a woman's food
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Speaker 1: and I follow her for a solid week, I can
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Speaker 1: pinpoint things a million miles away to say, hey girl,
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Speaker 1: you're on the right track, or hey, these portions are
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Speaker 1: a little out of control, or hey, maybe no one
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Speaker 1: has taught you how to eat well, how to stay
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Speaker 1: away from so much prepackaged food, or just because the
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Speaker 1: label says it's healthy, high fiber, low fat, whatever BS
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Speaker 1: that we put on, First off, a lot of our
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Speaker 1: meal needs to just not have a package, okay? Needs
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Speaker 1: to not have a barcode to scan, okay? Now, hang
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Speaker 1: with me, but the negotiations we're having, you know, I
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Speaker 1: had a woman tell me, oh, eating healthy is too expensive.
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Speaker 1: And while, yes, I agree, our prices of stuff has
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Speaker 1: just gotten through the roof, okay? but you can still
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Speaker 1: eat well and not completely break the bank. Okay. But
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Speaker 1: we're negotiating with ourself. Should I eat well today? Should
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Speaker 1: I work out? Should I have this or that? Oh
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Speaker 1: my gosh, I've already screwed up. Oh, I'm going to
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Speaker 1: start over on Monday. You know, should I weigh myself today?
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Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm afraid of what that scale's going
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Speaker 1: to say. Maybe I need fewer carbs. Maybe I need
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Speaker 1: more cardio. Oh, my calories. They're not right. I don't know.
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Speaker 1: Maybe I need to change them. Maybe it's my hormones.
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Speaker 1: This program, oh, it's not working. That's exhausting, friends, okay?
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Speaker 1: So I want to compare that with this is simply
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Speaker 1: how I live. I had several conversations last week where
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Speaker 1: I told the client, hey, I don't have food cravings.
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Speaker 1: I don't have Food like I have to, those are
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Speaker 1: in the fridge. I gotta have them. Okay. I simply
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Speaker 1: know what my body needs and that's what I consume.
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Speaker 1: There's a lot of peace when we detach that food
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Speaker 1: has any kind of emotion. Okay. Now I am not
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Speaker 1: going to tell you though, that I don't enjoy a
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Speaker 1: good red velvet cake, like legit made it from scratch.
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Speaker 1: And I am not a very good baker, but I
15:32
Speaker 1: can make a good cake. Actually, you know what? I've
15:34
Speaker 1: perfected my cookie game. The kids, they're so funny because
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Speaker 1: they're just like, mommy, you make the best cookies. And
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Speaker 1: I'm like, actually, I don't. But I've been reading recipes
15:44
Speaker 1: and trying to figure out, because obviously in baking there's
15:47
Speaker 1: a lot of chemistry, and I was like, okay, let's
15:49
Speaker 1: dig into this a little bit more. Apparently, if you
15:52
Speaker 1: chill your dough, those suckers can come out pretty darn good.
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Speaker 1: So we're on to something. But I want you to
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Speaker 1: have peace, and you can have a cookie. And it's
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Speaker 1: not a big deal. It's when it turns into 10 cookies. Okay.
16:09
Speaker 1: And this is where it's the belief system and hey,
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Speaker 1: this is all I need. But every emotion doesn't require
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Speaker 1: a reaction. So we have to really dive deeper into
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Speaker 1: the emotional regulation that we can have. Hey, we don't
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Speaker 1: have to be a hot mess express. Stress doesn't require food.
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Speaker 1: Last time I checked, anytime you overindulge, binge, you don't
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Speaker 1: feel better, okay? You get a dopamine hit for a second,
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Speaker 1: it's gone, okay? And then you feel bad. So frustration
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Speaker 1: doesn't mean you gotta quit. So this is probably one
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Speaker 1: of my bigger challenges with women that when shit gets hard,
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Speaker 1: they give up When shit gets hard, we go harder. Okay. This,
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Speaker 1: this is something where it's a personality trait that I
17:07
Speaker 1: try to break in women all the time that when
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Speaker 1: stuff is hitting the fan, guess what? You can still
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Speaker 1: take care of you. Okay. I'm not going to say
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Speaker 1: it's got to be perfect. I'm not going to say,
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Speaker 1: but if every time life gets hard, you give up,
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Speaker 1: come on, you're better than that. Okay. And maybe I'm
17:27
Speaker 1: just too damn hard headed, but there, there's something to
17:31
Speaker 1: be said when you just won't give up. Okay. And
17:36
Speaker 1: that's something that I try to teach and show women
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Speaker 1: that first and foremost, you got to have the right strategy.
17:42
Speaker 1: And when you have the right strategy, yeah, you just
17:44
Speaker 1: got to work through different situations. Hey, are you going
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Speaker 1: to have an emotional day? Heck yes. I had an
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Speaker 1: emotional day. Okay. but we don't have to give in
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Speaker 1: to eating our feelings. That's not going to solve anything.
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Speaker 1: And last time I checked, that doesn't solve the stress.
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Speaker 1: The stress doesn't go away. Okay. A scale increase doesn't
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Speaker 1: mean OMG, we got to like completely abandon ship. Okay.
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Speaker 1: A bad body image day doesn't require, you know, restricting
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Speaker 1: and being super rough on yourself. A great weigh-in doesn't mean, oh,
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Speaker 1: I'm going to go reward myself with food. A hard
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Speaker 1: week doesn't require abandoning everything that you work so hard for.
18:32
Speaker 1: I have clients tell me all the time, oh my gosh, Erin,
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Speaker 1: I had a hard week. Life was stressful. Life was challenging.
18:40
Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah, you know what? Me too. We're
18:43
Speaker 1: over here trying to figure it out just like everybody else.
18:46
Speaker 1: but it's when we can experience an emotion without turning
18:51
Speaker 1: it into a behavior, okay? Feelings are information. They don't
18:57
Speaker 1: have to become an instruction manual. I'm stressed, therefore I eat.
19:03
Speaker 1: I'm stressed, therefore I drink, right? And so the scale
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Speaker 1: creates one of the biggest internal fights I see with women, right?
19:12
Speaker 1: is you'll do great for five days. You get on
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Speaker 1: the scale and then let's just say that scale is
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Speaker 1: up a pound. Okay. All of a sudden we're throwing
19:21
Speaker 1: hands up in the air. This isn't working. And now
19:24
Speaker 1: you want to change everything. And this is where I
19:28
Speaker 1: remind women over and Your glycogen, your sugar, right? Your digestion,
19:38
Speaker 1: your sodium, your menstrual cycle shifts, and a whole bunch
19:42
Speaker 1: of other factors. So not just simply like that scale
19:47
Speaker 1: should perfectly go down every single time. So I want
19:51
Speaker 1: to ask you, can you stay committed when the scale
19:55
Speaker 1: hasn't rewarded you yet? Because that's where self-trust truly gets built. See,
20:04
Speaker 1: I've been in this whole recomp phase and so trying
20:07
Speaker 1: to drop body fat. And the funny thing about it
20:10
Speaker 1: is that damn scale has been the same number for like,
20:15
Speaker 1: probably I'm going on almost five weeks. Now for most women,
20:20
Speaker 1: you would have abandoned ship. And, and, but for me,
20:24
Speaker 1: I'm very just non-attached and I just stay very curious.
20:29
Speaker 1: Now here's the funny part. I'm doing all the things. Okay.
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Speaker 1: Like I've got stuff dialed in food is in a
20:35
Speaker 1: good spot. And what I know is it's just taking
20:39
Speaker 1: a hot second. But you know what else I really
20:42
Speaker 1: love is when you visually look in the mirror and
20:45
Speaker 1: I'm like, dang, I'm seeing the bicep vein coming out again. Okay,
20:49
Speaker 1: like I'm seeing the visual changes. And so this is
20:53
Speaker 1: where I stay very detached. Okay, maybe the scale is
20:57
Speaker 1: not going to be as low as I thought it
20:59
Speaker 1: was going to. Okay, this is where we also can
21:02
Speaker 1: utilize body fat percentage. Now body fat percentage is really
21:06
Speaker 1: tough looking at it day to day to day, even
21:09
Speaker 1: week to week to week. It's really important to see
21:12
Speaker 1: it every four to six weeks. And so for myself,
21:15
Speaker 1: I'm just mentally hanging in going, you know what, we're
21:18
Speaker 1: all good. Okay, just keep doing what you're doing. And
21:22
Speaker 1: That impatience can turn a working strategy into a failed
21:27
Speaker 1: strategy simply because you didn't give it enough time. That's
21:31
Speaker 1: one thing that I tell women over and over and
21:33
Speaker 1: over again. Listen, if you came to me high 30%
21:37
Speaker 1: body fat, touching 40%, if you're above 40% body fat,
21:42
Speaker 1: it is going to take a hot second, but it
21:45
Speaker 1: will be worth it. Because you've not only got to
21:48
Speaker 1: get body fat off your body, you absolutely don't have
21:52
Speaker 1: enough muscle on your body. I catch women in this
21:56
Speaker 1: scenario over and over and over and over again. And
22:01
Speaker 1: the thing is, you will look in the mirror and
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Speaker 1: you're like, damn, I've lost all this weight, but I
22:05
Speaker 1: don't love what I see. And I'm here to tell you,
22:09
Speaker 1: You saddle up for a good two to three years,
22:12
Speaker 1: and I know that's not sexy or exciting to talk about,
22:15
Speaker 1: but you will completely change your body. What people don't
22:19
Speaker 1: realize for myself personally is I have been lifting for
22:23
Speaker 1: the better part of 17, 18 plus years. Believe it
22:27
Speaker 1: or not, I didn't always lift. I was a psycho runner.
22:33
Speaker 1: I can say that because I really was. Okay. Most
22:35
Speaker 1: people know me as a runner. Like I ran very competitively.
22:40
Speaker 1: I love it. I was even talking about it the
22:43
Speaker 1: other day. I was like, man, Tony, I just, I
22:45
Speaker 1: need a race. I need something competitive. He's like, no,
22:48
Speaker 1: you don't. And I mean, I got it. And listen,
22:52
Speaker 1: if I wanted to do a race, I could. But
22:55
Speaker 1: the important thing that we have to understand is it
22:59
Speaker 1: will take time. to put muscle on your body, to
23:02
Speaker 1: go through cycle after cycle after cycle. You know, here's
23:06
Speaker 1: one thing that a lot of people don't know or
23:09
Speaker 1: don't understand these numbers. But when I was days before
23:13
Speaker 1: having like Leo, for example, I was back squatting 135.
23:18
Speaker 1: I was dead lifting 20, or I'm sorry, 200 pounds.
23:23
Speaker 1: So like I've been lifting for a hot minute. This
23:27
Speaker 1: kiddo is 10, okay? I took the eight weeks off
23:32
Speaker 1: that they asked me to take off. And guess what?
23:35
Speaker 1: I got right back into lifting. For some women, you
23:39
Speaker 1: have not lifted, okay? And it's just gonna take the time,
23:43
Speaker 1: but I'm here to tell you, that I've watched it
23:46
Speaker 1: over and over and over and over and over again,
23:48
Speaker 1: you will absolutely change your body. Okay. When you just
23:51
Speaker 1: commit and realize, Hey, this isn't a six week challenge.
23:54
Speaker 1: This isn't okay. Cool. I got my act together for
23:58
Speaker 1: a week. Why am I not 20 pounds down? Right.
24:00
Speaker 1: Which I get it. I totally get it. So you're
24:03
Speaker 1: fighting what your life actually looks like. Okay. So women
24:09
Speaker 1: create plans for a very fantasy or what I like
24:13
Speaker 1: to call a very delusional life. Okay. So you're trying
24:17
Speaker 1: to like, Oh, when I'm not traveling, when there's no birthdays,
24:20
Speaker 1: no stressful weeks, there's no sick kids, there's no dinners out. Um,
24:24
Speaker 1: there's no work emergencies. Okay. Then real life happens and
24:29
Speaker 1: you think you've failed. This is where I need to
24:32
Speaker 1: see you through normal life. Okay. I don't need you
24:36
Speaker 1: to be perfect. It's okay for things to be a
24:38
Speaker 1: little bit messy. It's okay to send me a voice
24:41
Speaker 1: note and you're just like, oh my God, Erin, like
24:44
Speaker 1: just stuff's hitting the fan, okay? Sorry, I do cuss
24:48
Speaker 1: like a sailor. I try to keep it PC so
24:51
Speaker 1: I don't completely offend most people. But anyways, your strategy
24:56
Speaker 1: has to work inside your normal life. Otherwise, you'll never
25:00
Speaker 1: maintain your results. So I want you to really ask
25:04
Speaker 1: yourself like, I don't want you to ask yourself, how
25:10
Speaker 1: do I stay perfect? Because that's not real. I'm not perfect,
25:15
Speaker 1: but I want you to ask, how does the woman
25:16
Speaker 1: I am becoming handle this? Okay, how do you handle vacation? Listen,
25:22
Speaker 1: anytime I go on a vacation, it's not, oh, to
25:24
Speaker 1: hell with all my goals. I'm going to eat all
25:27
Speaker 1: the things. That's gluttony. That's kind of weird to me,
25:31
Speaker 1: being honest. And so When I go on vacation, yes,
25:35
Speaker 1: we're going to have, you know, fun food. We're going
25:37
Speaker 1: to go to new restaurants. We're going to try different things,
25:40
Speaker 1: but I'm not going to stuff myself to the point
25:43
Speaker 1: of like not feeling good either. Okay. She enjoys it
25:49
Speaker 1: without turning seven days into seven more weeks to try
25:53
Speaker 1: to unravel everything. Okay. Dinner. You go to dinner. Okay.
25:58
Speaker 1: You make a better choice. Stress. Listen. You don't have
26:03
Speaker 1: to abandon yourself because you had a tough day. Well,
26:07
Speaker 1: me too, right? Like give yourself a hot shower. Like
26:11
Speaker 1: I'm a really big on, on visualization of just cleansing
26:15
Speaker 1: off the day, right? Um, I use heat and cold
26:19
Speaker 1: therapies often to kind of reset my central nervous system.
26:25
Speaker 1: If you missed a workout, guess what? Pick up the
26:28
Speaker 1: next time you can. right? Like, like that's the stuff
26:32
Speaker 1: that I'm talking about. So you got to stop using,
26:35
Speaker 1: I deserve it kind of language against yourself. So this
26:40
Speaker 1: is where things might get a little spicy on this
26:43
Speaker 1: topic is I worked hard today, Aaron. So I deserve
26:49
Speaker 1: this glass of wine. I've been good all week. I
26:55
Speaker 1: deserve this meal. It's my birthday month. Cool. So listen,
27:05
Speaker 1: why is the thing you deserve always the thing taking
27:09
Speaker 1: you furthest away from what you say you want? Maybe
27:14
Speaker 1: you also deserve to sleep well. Maybe you deserve to
27:18
Speaker 1: feel strong, to have energy, to feel confident and naked.
27:21
Speaker 1: Maybe you deserve to feel good in your clothes. Maybe
27:26
Speaker 1: you deserve to keep the promise to yourself. To finally
27:29
Speaker 1: get the results that, girlfriend, you've been chasing for the
27:32
Speaker 1: better part of 15 years. You deserve that too. Okay?
27:38
Speaker 1: And I want to call out this language pattern. Stop
27:41
Speaker 1: calling yourself bad. Okay? You ate the pizza. Cool. Let
27:47
Speaker 1: it go. You weren't bad. You missed a workout. Whatever.
27:50
Speaker 1: You didn't fail. Scale went up. You're not broken. Okay?
27:54
Speaker 1: It's all good. The moral judgment creates so much unnecessary drama.
28:01
Speaker 1: I swear I'm constantly diffusing day after day, the drama
28:05
Speaker 1: that we hold. Okay. So what was the decision aligned
28:12
Speaker 1: with my goal or was it not? Was this decision
28:16
Speaker 1: I just made aligned with my goal or not? That's
28:20
Speaker 1: where I'm constantly checking myself is okay. when I'm choosing
28:26
Speaker 1: where to put my time. Right now in this particular
28:29
Speaker 1: point of my life, the most important things that I'm
28:33
Speaker 1: focusing on are the two cute faces looking at me. Well,
28:37
Speaker 1: I guess four. We've got two funny bulldogs, but the
28:40
Speaker 1: two kiddos staring at me. Yes, my two bulldogs and
28:44
Speaker 1: my husband, okay? And really getting our business to the
28:49
Speaker 1: next level. Okay. Those are the main things that I'm
28:54
Speaker 1: focusing on right now. I'm not trying to focus on
28:58
Speaker 1: being everything to everyone. I'm not being maybe the best sister. Okay.
29:04
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm not being the best daughter now, like within reason,
29:09
Speaker 1: I'm still there. I'm very present. Okay. But I don't
29:12
Speaker 1: have to drop everything. Okay. Because we're asking ourself, Was
29:19
Speaker 1: the decision I'm making today aligned with my goal or
29:23
Speaker 1: are we just trying to make everyone else happy but ourselves? Okay,
29:28
Speaker 1: you will be a better daughter. You will be a
29:31
Speaker 1: better sister. Okay, you will be better to your spouse
29:37
Speaker 1: if you take the time to get used really, really good. Okay.
29:44
Speaker 1: I work a lot and I'm okay with it, but
29:49
Speaker 1: I also took 20 minutes when my kids got home
29:52
Speaker 1: from school, we unpacked their bags, pulled out the homework
29:56
Speaker 1: and and we knocked it out. Okay. I purposefully didn't
30:01
Speaker 1: book any calls during that time so that I could
30:04
Speaker 1: help my daughter who needs a little bit more support
30:07
Speaker 1: when it comes to getting some of her schoolwork done.
30:11
Speaker 1: And instead of waiting until seven, eight o'clock at night,
30:14
Speaker 1: when neither of us are in our best space. So again,
30:20
Speaker 1: was the decision you made with your schedule a aligned
30:24
Speaker 1: with your goal or not. It's a simple checkpoint. Gather
30:29
Speaker 1: the data that you need in order to be successful.
30:34
Speaker 1: What do you need to do to create that schedule?
30:37
Speaker 1: And maybe, just maybe, need to say no to more
30:42
Speaker 1: things and align yourself with what's really important to you
30:46
Speaker 1: right now. Because when you get all this time back
30:50
Speaker 1: that you don't have to worry about weight loss another day,
30:53
Speaker 1: do you know how much mental bandwidth you'll have? Do
30:56
Speaker 1: you know how much money you would actually save? Anytime
31:00
Speaker 1: a woman tells me like, oh my God, your program's
31:03
Speaker 1: so expensive. Yeah, I am. I have 20 flipping years
31:07
Speaker 1: of experience. I have my education in this. I continue
31:11
Speaker 1: to educate myself in this. Okay, and I'm going to
31:14
Speaker 1: save you a hell of a lot of money to
31:16
Speaker 1: do this and do it the right way and knock
31:19
Speaker 1: it out. Okay, and I can confidently say that. So
31:24
Speaker 1: eventually your standards will end the argument with yourself. There's
31:29
Speaker 1: probably a time when you were brushing your teeth like
31:32
Speaker 1: that required someone reminding you. Okay, I got an eight
31:36
Speaker 1: and a 10 year old and every morning and every
31:39
Speaker 1: night I remind them to brush your teeth and be detailed. Okay.
31:44
Speaker 1: It's like, Hey, cool. Oh, we're done. No. Okay. But
31:51
Speaker 1: it's simply what you do. Stop debating with yourself. This
31:57
Speaker 1: is ultimately where we want our health behaviors to go.
32:01
Speaker 1: So we're stopping saying I'm on a diet. So now
32:05
Speaker 1: we're a woman who takes care of herself. This is
32:07
Speaker 1: just my lifestyle. Instead of saying, Oh, I have to
32:10
Speaker 1: work out today. Training's just part of your life, okay?
32:14
Speaker 1: It's Monday, Wednesday, Friday, guess what? I'm at the gym, okay? Also,
32:20
Speaker 1: we're not asking, can I eat this? Oof, this one's
32:24
Speaker 1: a big one for me. Can I eat this? Instead,
32:27
Speaker 1: I want you to say, what choice makes sense for
32:30
Speaker 1: me right now? Okay, the goal isn't more rules. The
32:35
Speaker 1: goal is less internal negotiation, okay? Like have a bite
32:42
Speaker 1: of whatever and let it go. Hey, great. It's grandma's favorite, whatever. Listen,
32:48
Speaker 1: we're getting ready to go into the season of all
32:51
Speaker 1: the things. Get your health in a really, really good spot.
32:55
Speaker 1: Have some tastes of the holiday treats and let it go. Hey,
32:59
Speaker 1: they'll be here next year. So the woman who keeps
33:04
Speaker 1: the weight off, here's what I want to drive home.
33:07
Speaker 1: She isn't perfect. So The woman who keeps her weight off,
33:13
Speaker 1: she still eats dessert. She still takes vacations. She celebrates things.
33:18
Speaker 1: She is going to miss a workout here and there.
33:21
Speaker 1: She has hard lessons, has hard days. The difference is
33:25
Speaker 1: those moments don't create an identity crisis. She doesn't need
33:30
Speaker 1: Monday to come again. She doesn't need January 1. She
33:34
Speaker 1: doesn't need another detox. She just simply returns. So the
33:40
Speaker 1: consistency isn't never getting off track. Consistency is becoming incredibly
33:47
Speaker 1: good at getting right back on track. Okay, find your
33:53
Speaker 1: biggest fight. So I want you to ask yourself, where
33:57
Speaker 1: am I constantly negotiating with myself? Is it your workouts?
34:03
Speaker 1: Is it the weekend? Is it alcohol? Is it protein?
34:06
Speaker 1: Is it bedtime? Is it steps? Tracking, is it your emotions?
34:12
Speaker 1: Are they all over the place? Is it your reaction
34:15
Speaker 1: to the scale? And I want to ask you, what
34:19
Speaker 1: would happen if this stopped being a daily decision and
34:25
Speaker 1: just became one of your standards? So hear me out
34:29
Speaker 1: on this. Instead of deciding every morning whether or not
34:32
Speaker 1: you're exercising, what if you just said, hey, I train Monday, Wednesday, Friday, okay?
34:39
Speaker 1: This is something that I see women all the time
34:41
Speaker 1: is like, you just wake up and it's like, what
34:44
Speaker 1: am I going to eat today? No, got to have
34:47
Speaker 1: food in the house. Okay. So let's reasonably put together
34:51
Speaker 1: a list. We're super, super simple in our food right now.
34:55
Speaker 1: We will literally have some version of chicken, some roasted
34:59
Speaker 1: or steamed vegetable and a potato. I know shocker, right?
35:05
Speaker 1: But It's some sort of seasoning on the chicken. It's
35:08
Speaker 1: either grilled or air fried and then put a sauce
35:11
Speaker 1: on it and you'll be fine, okay? Then another meal
35:16
Speaker 1: that we rotate, which we're actually having tonight, is we
35:19
Speaker 1: grill some burgers. We'll have some corn on the cob
35:23
Speaker 1: and then we'll have some sort of roasted or veggie
35:27
Speaker 1: added to that mix. Super simple, okay? We do BLTs,
35:33
Speaker 1: believe it or not. This one's kind of funny to
35:35
Speaker 1: most people, but we'll make bacon. We'll get a mozzarella
35:39
Speaker 1: ball that's fresh. We'll slice it up. We'll put some basil. And,
35:43
Speaker 1: you know, we may not hit protein perfectly that night,
35:46
Speaker 1: but it was super comforting. It tasted pretty good. And
35:49
Speaker 1: reasonably speaking, it was very simple and easy to to make.
35:53
Speaker 1: And we pretty much rotate that. Oh, let me throw
35:56
Speaker 1: this in there. Tacos, anybody, right? So we'll brown up
36:00
Speaker 1: a pound or two of beef, use a taco seasoning packet,
36:04
Speaker 1: or I'll make it together with the spices I have
36:07
Speaker 1: on hand. And then we'll either make tacos. I have
36:10
Speaker 1: a reasonable portion, or we'll make a bowl where we
36:14
Speaker 1: do the taco meat. We'll do some cottage cheese. We'll do,
36:17
Speaker 1: if I have avocado in the house, I'll add that.
36:20
Speaker 1: I'll put just a little bit of shredded cheese and
36:23
Speaker 1: I'll drizzle some hot honey. Super simple, okay? So I
36:29
Speaker 1: truly wanna bring this home that you don't need another diet.
36:33
Speaker 1: Maybe you don't need another Monday either. Maybe you don't
36:37
Speaker 1: need to try harder. Maybe you're exhausted because you've spent
36:43
Speaker 1: years fighting yourself every single step of the way, okay?
36:48
Speaker 1: This goal isn't to become a woman who never ever
36:51
Speaker 1: has pizza again, a woman who never misses a workout,
36:56
Speaker 1: who never gets stressed and a woman who never struggles. Okay,
36:59
Speaker 1: that's not real. The woman or the goal is becoming
37:03
Speaker 1: a woman who doesn't abandon what you want every time
37:08
Speaker 1: you experience a little bit of discomfort. I tell clients
37:12
Speaker 1: over and over again, you're going to get uncomfortable in
37:15
Speaker 1: this journey and it's a good thing. Every time you
37:17
Speaker 1: feel that tummy rumble ever so slightly, guess what? We're okay.
37:24
Speaker 1: Now there's a difference in hangry and lightheaded and not
37:27
Speaker 1: having enough. But if you've got just a little bit
37:30
Speaker 1: of that gurgle in the stomach, guess what? You're in
37:33
Speaker 1: a deficit and you're going to burn some fat. It's
37:36
Speaker 1: a good thing. So eventually you stop having to convince
37:42
Speaker 1: yourself to do any of this stuff. It just becomes
37:46
Speaker 1: who you are. Your weight loss journey gets a whole
37:50
Speaker 1: lot quieter when the woman making the decisions and the
37:55
Speaker 1: woman who says what she wants, they become the same woman.
38:00
Speaker 1: So I want to encourage you to truly connect yourself.
38:04
Speaker 1: Become one with this woman that says, hey, actually, I
38:08
Speaker 1: want to get my you-know-what together. I want to feel
38:11
Speaker 1: really good most days. I want to feel strong, sexy,
38:14
Speaker 1: and confident. I want to be this woman. And you
38:19
Speaker 1: know what? I'm going to wake up every day and
38:22
Speaker 1: do the best of my ability. That's all I ever
38:24
Speaker 1: ask of my clients is just, hey, what's better? What
38:28
Speaker 1: can make this better? For most women that get in
38:32
Speaker 1: my program, they just bulldoze down weight loss. It's actually
38:35
Speaker 1: a pretty fun process. For the first time, you're just like,
38:38
Speaker 1: holy crap, this is working. For some women, it is
38:41
Speaker 1: a little bit of a struggle bus. And that's where
38:43
Speaker 1: having a coach is really important because sometimes I got
38:47
Speaker 1: to call you out on, hey, you're still over consuming.
38:50
Speaker 1: And that is never a fun conversation. Just being genuine.
38:54
Speaker 1: I don't get excited to have that conversation. But I
38:57
Speaker 1: also ask myself, who does this woman need right now?
39:01
Speaker 1: Does she need a friend or does she need a coach? Okay.
39:05
Speaker 1: If you're paying me, you're getting a coach. And this
39:08
Speaker 1: coach is going to help you become a version of
39:11
Speaker 1: you that you never thought was possible. So I know
39:15
Speaker 1: when this message hits home, I want you to reach out.
39:18
Speaker 1: I want you to book a call with me. And
39:20
Speaker 1: I want you to consider joining my Infinite Women coaching
39:23
Speaker 1: program because this isn't about another diet. This isn't about
39:27
Speaker 1: a cool workout that we're going to do. This isn't
39:30
Speaker 1: a challenge. This is a program that's literally going to
39:34
Speaker 1: change your life. We named our business Transformation Fitness and
39:38
Speaker 1: Wellness because there's a transformation that needs to occur in you.
39:43
Speaker 1: And we don't take that lightly. This, again, it's not
39:46
Speaker 1: working out and eating right. This is about you as
39:49
Speaker 1: a person who stops negotiating and who literally goes all in.
39:54
Speaker 1: And as a byproduct, you're gonna change and you're gonna
39:57
Speaker 1: impact this world even better. So if that sounds like
40:00
Speaker 1: something that you're like, oh damn, she just called me out.
40:02
Speaker 1: And yeah, I'm kind of here for it. Reach out.
40:06
Speaker 1: Reach out. Reach out.