Latest / The Inner Well Podcast / Clarity, Confidence and Stylized Consciousness: Payton Dale’s Inner Well

Transcript

Clarity, Confidence and Stylized Consciousness: Payton Dale’s Inner Well · The Inner Well Podcast

• The Inner Well Podcast: We all contain a space within that when enlivened and nourished will support us with unwavering stability, expansion, and peace of mind. Join us each week as we dive into honest, grounded conversations about transcendental meditation, consciousness, and growth, and what it means to live an integrated life supported by a foundation of creativity and calm. This is the inner world. Welcome, Peyton. Thanks so much for joining us. Thanks for having me. On the Inner Well podcast. I'm Danielle. We're here in Nashville with a friend and fellow TM practitioner Peyton. And before we get into what you do and why I asked you to be part of this podcast, I lately have been really into asking people to introduce themselves without telling me what you do for a living. I'm Peyton Dale. I'm a Nashville native, third generation. And I am a Beatles expert. There you go. Which is how I got into TM in the first place. Tell me that story. Well, first of all, what do you love about the Beatles? Everything. Everything. Love everything about them. I learned TM in 2020. My husband's also a musician, and he did TM for years. And there was this documentary that came out called Meeting the Beatles in India. And it was our anniversary. We're like, ⁓ let's it's COVID. We can't really do anything else. Let's get Indian food and watch that. And about halfway through, I said, I think I need a mantra. I think it's like the one piece of memorabilia I don't have. And he goes, Yeah, I'm surprised you haven't. So I looked it up that night and I had my first session like two days later, which is pretty funny. I committed to the bit. And what was that first session like? Well, it was 2020, so everything was already a little weird to begin with. And well, I can't say what I do for a living, but it involves ⁓ You can now. No, I just wanted to like get to know you a little bit as a human. Yeah. Also before I want to hear about your dogs too. ⁓ yeah. Because that's an important part of your life. It is a very important part of my life. I'm a dog mom to three bow, arrow, and Bigsby. I'm a wardrobe stylist or musicians and then regular people, but we'll get to that later. And a reluctant part time drummer. reluctant part-time drummer. Yeah. So we can cross that bridge when we get there. I want to hear all about that. Yeah. ⁓ so I I went in to the Franklin TM Center. I I learned very quickly. And 2020 was really difficult for a lot of creatives, as you can imagine. Sure. So pre COVID I only worked for musicians styling for music videos and photo shoots and red carpets and tours and it was very much like what I who I was and what I did. And so enmeshed in my everyday life. And ⁓ then COVID, it all went away. And I had not only like, how am I gonna pay the bills? How am I gonna keep a roof over our heads? Because my husband also works entertainment. It's what is what is my purpose? What is the value that I bring to the world? ⁓ if I'm not Peyton Dale musician stylist, who am I? And I had a complete and utter breakdown. So it kind of came along at the right time. I've always been what a friend of mine calls spiritually spongy. I kind of just soak it all up. And I've always felt deeply connected to something greater than myself. But that was the first time in a very long time I didn't feel any hope at all. I didn't feel any connection. I sat on my couch and watched Tiger King like the rest of us and cried and thought I'm never gonna work again and I'm gonna lose everything. So TM kind of came along at a really good time. So I went and did my first session. And I don't drink anymore. I haven't drunk for a long time. But I remember it felt like having the buzz of three espresso and three vodka sodas at the same time with the clarity, which I've never experienced without the jitters and the clarity. And I remember being like, ⁓ my God, this it's back. I thought that I had just severed all connection to consciousness whatsoever when I was deeply depressed. And I thought, ⁓ I just want to do this all the time, all day, every day. Which is not how you're supposed to do tea. Much to my dismay. But ⁓ yeah, and I've been doing it ever since. So it was really a a brilliant tool to kind of help me get clear headed and also to remind myself that I am more than just what I do for a living, which is really difficult for me. And ⁓ yeah, it's been a great community. The Nashville TM community is wonderful, including you, and I've really enjoyed it. Sorry to drop my COVID depression on you. Like here you go. It's real. That's I mean, that's the whole purpose of this. Podcast is that we want it to be real and have these conversations that will allow someone to hear themselves in someone else's story. Yeah. And there could be someone else who's at that moment of struggling with identity and transition. And that's real. Yeah. what do you think it is about TM that allowed you to move through that? Well, I think I was already kind of familiar with the process of it being a Beatles nerd, but also I had tried traditional like sit still and be quiet, clear your brain, and that doesn't work for me because my brain is going a million miles a minute almost all the time. So what I liked about the actual act of TM versus sit still and be quiet meditation, I'm sure there's a technical term for it, is that I had something to focus on. So the mantra is really helpful. I really enjoyed that aspect of it. I enjoyed that it's fairly quick and it's something that you can implement into your normal life. And I think the other thing for me, and I learned this from my husband who had been meditating for years prior, is that when you look like us, people kind of expect that you have some weird quirks anyway, so no one blinks twice when I go, I have to meditate now. It's a really good excuse to get out of party. Not that that's what we're supposed to be doing with this spiritual gift, but It's a good excuse. Hey. And the and you can do it anywhere. I can't do it anywhere. I've done it on a bus, I've done it on set. I've done it everywhere. He's done it in green rooms and, you know, music video shoots and all kinds of stuff. So it's just kind of like ⁓ they're being weird in the corner and being quiet kind of works out in our favor. A lot of people I find just assume all meditations are the same. Right. You know, it i you found this to be quite different from other experiences you'd had. Much different with other forms of meditation. And will you talk a little more about that? Because I think it's such an important thing for people to understand that Yeah. there's I mean there's a million different types out there. There are. And that this is actually a specific technique. And what how was your experience well I'm not different. I'm not gonna yuck someone's yum if it works for you. Then do it. I did guided meditation, which was fine. But then I'd be like, well, the story's kind of boring and I would have written it differently. And then I'm like rewriting this sleep story. I'm like, well, that character development's not it. or the just sit in silence made my anxiety a lot worse. And it made it made me feel like I was kind of being useless. Whereas with TM, the mantra gives me something to focus on, which is really helpful for my particular kind of brain, but also The big thing for me is the clarity that I got out of T which I'd never experienced before. The other time I would just like fall asleep or go, Well that was a waste of time And with T ⁓ I feel it's kind of like a smoke break. It's like a spiritual smoke break. You know, you could just take your twenty minutes, walk away, get clear and come back in, minus the addiction part of it and nicotine and it can't kill you. So but I t I tell people all the time that it's like a spiritual smoke break. You just kind of feel like, ⁓ I just need a quick I need to reset. And it works pretty well. Tell me more. So you're in this transition, you learn TM. Yeah. What did that those next few weeks and months look like for you? Well the big thing is I'm not the type of person who rolls over and gives up. And COVID was the first time that I felt Like I didn't get a say in my own destiny in my own life. And without the risk of sounding completely dramatic, it's like, ⁓ you're gonna take away every single thing that I've worked my butt off for to get to like this level? Okay, I'll show you. So TM I r I remember coming out of a TM session and I had an acquaintance in my life who said, why aren't you on TikTok? And I said, That stupid app with all the kids dancing and And like she goes, no, no, like you could actually really do something over there. So I came out of a meditation session and I was like, that's it. If they're gonna tell me I can't work here, I'm gonna work somewhere else. So I I felt very clear and I started my TikTok account, and that is now half of my business. I doubled my business during COVID, which most people can't say, between content creation and also styling people virtually. So I started taking the techniques that I had for Branding musicians for all those other things that I mentioned previously. And I started an entire process to help people figure out their personal style via Zoom. Because you're not gonna tell me that I can't work. You're not gonna tell me that I can't, that I've I have to sit here. So the clarity that I got from my TM sessions, but also when I get depressed, I feel like I've lost all connection to higher consciousness. So knowing that I had something greater than me. that was I was plugged into really helped during that time period. 'Cause I would have still been watching Tiger King or whatever. Seventy fifth time. Yeah. ⁓ but it was it was really nice to be able to remind myself, no, you do have a connection to something bigger than yourself and to consciousness and you can help people. And it's helped me It's not only doubled my business, but it's also helped me get a whole world of experiences that I wouldn't have otherwise. Because working with musicians is you're basically a therapist and an emotional support human and a stylist and you know, all these other things. But working with regular people of all different walks of life, it made me a much more well rounded person. And I definitely equate TM to me giving having the clarity to start the business virtually and to make me feel like I wasn't hopeless. 'Cause it was it was pretty bleak. Yeah. Yeah. That's so inspiring and such a good way to put it. I mean, we're calling this podcast the inner well because it is that source of our clarity, yeah, creativity, intelligence, intuition, you know, and so much and the way that you described, you know, accessing that and how it came but then how that expresses in everyone's life. It's so different. It's so different. And it's it's also made me more intuitive in a lot of ways. I'm a fairly intuitive person to begin with, and I always have been since birth, from what I've been told. But it's also made me more aware of other people's works and other people's motives and everything else. It's really funny. There was a client that I was working with for quite some time, and I I remembered I'd taken kind of a break in my meditation, not on purpose. And the second and I I just never like vibed with this person. There was something always like not quite right. I kept going, no, no, I'll get through to her. And the second that I picked my meditation back up, I went, ⁓ I don't like you. We are not in alignment. And it was shortly after that we parted ways and it was actually for for good, for really good. So it does help me it kind of spiritual glasses, if you will. Just like I can see people a little clearer. Which I'm sure is really helpful in what you do. Love and light to everybody, but sometimes you're just not in alignment. And it's a good way to put it. It helped. Yeah. I was like, ⁓ you weren't meditating. So you okay, got it. Mm-hmm. What led you to kind of taking a break from it? ⁓ life. You know. It's ⁓ I now have it set in my phone where it's it's a non negotiable, but it was a lot of travel. We had some deaths in the family, we had all kinds of stuff, you know, just life. And I think the other beautiful thing about TM is that you don't it's better if you do it every day, twice a day, but it's really easy to come back to. And I also like the community for that reason. And I think that's such an important piece because it it does happen. Life happens. We fall out of it. Yeah. And it's always there to come back to. And that's a part of what you get when you learn TM is access to that ongoing support. Yeah. ⁓ and I love that you found that to be valuable with getting back on track and I often find that when people come back to it, there's a whole new level of recognition of the impact and the value that it has. Did you find that? Yes. And I don't beat myself up for missing a session. And I I appreciate that because my schedules, I'm in different time zones. I'm, you know, different places all the time. As long as I can get one in, then I'm good. You know, I was in four different time zones this last week. So if I can if I can get get one in, I'm good. Yeah. Yeah. And you can do it on the plane. You can do it in the things in between moments. Absolutely. ⁓ I do a lot of plane meditations these days. It's the spiritual hygiene. I often call it my human being hygiene. Yeah. Just to be able to do this human thing. Yeah. And it's ⁓ I have a pretty strict morning routine and it involves that. And that's even before I have like, what am I wearing today? You know, shower, all that other it's look at the schedule, all that stuff. So I'm pretty set in that. And that's part of it now, which is nice. What's been helpful for you in creating those routines? Cause I I think that's probably the biggest thing people struggle with when they learn this technique. Most people find that the practice itself so easy. Super easy. Super easy. which honestly is often surprising to people because there's this idea that meditation should be hard and you have to focus and concentrate and I I had to wear robes and sit on top of a mountain in silence, you know? For the longest time, I was like, I don't know if I could do this meditation thing. It seems like a lot of work. But ⁓ no, I think that do the nature of my life, and if anyone knows me, every single aspect of my life has to be scheduled to a T. And then what's that expression? Make a plan and God laughs. So I have to be prepared for the next three versions of the schedule. But every single thing is scheduled within an inch of its life. And if I don't, if I fall off of the schedule, I'm not a nice person. So The TM kind of helps ground me in It's like, okay, well, if something does go differently, it's gonna be okay. You plugged into consciousness today, you're charged, we're good. When things don't go as we want them to, I mean, that is can be a source of stress. And stress gets in the way. I mean, that's the thing that blocks us from that connection with the consciousness or the inner well. And you know, it sounds like that's where you were. during COVID, right before you learned and in this well and so much of my work is essentially energy healing and then closed or the modality. So if I don't have a full battery, if my well's not full, I have nothing to give you. I have nothing. And I mean, I'm off today and my phone is on do not disturb, but it's like, what do I do there? What do I do here? And does this go with this? And it it's all day, every day and I love the people I work for. But if I don't do something for me, I will burn out. I will not be a nice person. I will tell you, I don't know, go wear these pants. I don't care. And that's not my nature, but it's like the energy work that I do. I think that anyone that works in anything to do with image, it is energy work because you're helping someone present their avatar to the world. You're either an energy healer or you're just a mean girl. And that's really what you get in Glam World. ⁓ but if I don't take care of my energy, I can't take care of yours. And I can't hold space for yours and I can't be in attunement to yours because I have to be able to look at someone and go, they raise their eyebrow a centimeter that way, they don't like the outfit. And if I'm not in attunement, the whole show goes wrong. How did you get into styling? Is that something you always knew was your path? No. ⁓ so I was a theater kid. Still am in my heart, but I'm not one out outwardly anymore. And I did plays. I thought I was gonna be actor. And I did really bad made for TV movies. And I did theater. I d I went to summer school and high school so I could do more theater in my senior year. Like that's how bad it was. And I did backdrops and costumes and all kinds of stuff like that. Simultaneously, I had always loved clothes. I'd always I had a fashion blog back in the two thousands. And it was for ⁓ vintage style for fat girls because I'm a formerly plus size person and that was the peak of heroin chic. You could not have been more rebellious than to be someone who wasn't a 10 or under in the 2000s. So I had the fashion blog and then I started getting really non-glamorous plus size modeling jobs because there are these there's tons of merch companies in Nashville and they need someone to model their extra large t-shirts. And that turned into the photographer going, You've got a cool look, I'd like to shoot you. So I started plus size modeling. In a time where that was not acceptable. And in my mind, I'm thinking, I'm the kid getting pushed into lockers at school. You want me to model? Okay. So I did that. And then I realized that a lot of these makeup artists and a lot of these stylists did not want to dress the fat girl. So I started styling my own shoots and creative directing my own shoots with these people. And that turned into a whole career of doing wardrobe for artists because who do we know that My biggest wardrobe break, it's so silly, it came from Mandy Barnett, who is a country singer, and she was doing this play about Patsy Klein's life. So I'm eighteen, nineteen, and I'm in the middle of you know, trying to figure it out white tables and nannying and doing all this stuff and thinking I'm gonna be an actor and I'm am I gonna go to school? I don't know what's gonna I d I just don't know. You're eighteen, you're floundering. And it was she was doing a play about Patsy Klein's life. And it was at the Ryman. So I needed to know how to steam things, which I didn't, but I lied and said I did. I needed to be twenty-one, which I lied and said that I definitely was, because you part of your wardrobe kit involves vodka. You have to be old enough to buy it. Did not know that. ⁓ but I knew the difference between stage left and stage right. I was comfortable with nudity. I knew how to handle vintage clothing, and it was during the summer, so every good wardrobe person was out on the road. Like it all lined up. So I did six weeks of that. It was the most fun I've ever had at work. And I thought it was the coolest job and I got to be part of theater and do costumes and stuff like that. And when the six week tour or the six week run at the Ryman ended, I was like, crap, I gotta go back to waiting tables. This sucks. This sucks. And the stage manager and I became friends and he was like, You have a good attitude. Do you wanna come do wardrobe for Weird Owl? Do you wanna come do wardrobe for Frankie Valley? Do you and he kept calling me? I got paid to be at shows. Which at eighteen is a huge deal. They didn't know I lied about my age until my actual twenty first birthday, which was really fun. so from there, I I just I love being around live music. It makes me really happy. And I don't necessarily love going to the concerts. I like the camaraderie. I like the kind of summer camp vibe of the lighting guy's known the sound guy for five bajillion years and everyone's like a family, 'cause it feels like a play all the time. And I love music, so it was really cool to kind of see that. And I those calls would be like either four hours, eight hours, or twelve hours. And I'd be there for twelve hours some days just kind of waiting around. So I'd go introduce myself. I'd make friends with their personal assistants, or I'd make friends with the opening band. I would do their laundry. What else am I gonna do? So a lot of the opening bands would say, You've got a cool vibe. Do you style? And I go, Yeah. I figured it out really quick. ⁓ so I've been styling since I was a kid. And simultaneously, you know, I wasn't I started making money styling in 2011. I didn't get to go full time until 2017. So you do the math on how many god-awful day jobs I had in between all of those. But I the other big thing that I had working for me, I'm 15 years in eating disorder recovery. So I know how to dress every single body type because I've been every single body type. And at the time I was the only stylist dressing any woman in Nashville over a size eight. Wow. Which most people are. So talk about job security. And I've been doing it ever since. Just pretty nuts. What do you love most about it? There is a moment, and I don't always get it, but there is a moment when my client looks in the at themselves in the mirror or they see a picture. And their posture changes and like their entire energy, like their energetic field shifts, and it's like, ⁓ that's what I want to look like. And I've managed to be the one that facilitates it. And it's kind of there's a moment where I get these like very weird full body chills, and it's like, ⁓ I just put everything in alignment with how you see yourself. Got it. Or the big thing is going back to the energy healing aspect of it, it's my job to kind of take your brain. As if it were a bunch of tangled up necklaces and untangle them and hand your thoughts back to you. And they're like, that's exactly what I meant. That's exactly what I wanted. Great. And that's what I really love about it. I do love clothes. I love clothes. I don't have that many, but I love clothes. And I love helping people feel good through clothes. Cause part of my my eating disorder recovery was learning how to dress myself. It's really hard to hate a body in a cute outfit. So I bring a lot of that to my work now. That's such a great way to put it. It's really hard to. Yeah. You know, when I I I kind of I joke that I came out of the fashion closet in high school because I'd always loved clothes. I've always been into them. But during that time period, it was like I'm not like other girls. You know, because I wasn't attractive. I was overweight, blonde and skinny and tan were the big things. I was five eight at 12 years old, looking like a refrigerator. And I had glasses and braces and acne and I felt hideous. But then MySpace was happening. Good old MySpace. And I loved the Beatles and I loved the Stones and I wanted to look like one of their girlfriends. So I had this secret life where I would go to my room, learn how to do my hair, my makeup, like these girls, get the outfits, and do full-on photo shoots. And I was MySpace famous, but a nerd at high school. It was like two completely different lives. So I had. I had these girls on Tumblr and MySpace that were like, ⁓ my god, do you follow her? And then I would go to school with like the slick back bun and the glasses and like the oversized hoodie and no one knew about it. When did she come out? My sixteenth birthday. And I got sent home for a dress code violation. It was great. It's a good time. I I remember I've always had the haircut. The haircut's been a thing. This was not trending twenty years ago when I was in high school. I remember bringing a picture of Linda Ronstadt to Great Clips and said, Give me this. And they go, Are you sure this is a really old lady haircut? And I said, I'm sure. And I would pin them back at school because people made fun of them. They're like, Y now everyone has them. Now everyone think that's the cool thing. ⁓ I was sixteen and I had a vintage dress that I bought at the Nashville flea market for twenty bucks. I still have it. It's hideous. I loved it. It was so it was like bell sleeves and purple and turquoise and orange and It was obnoxious and it was floral. And I was fully covered ⁓ from my neck all the way down to about mid-thigh. And then I wore leggings and boots with it, fully covered. I got sent home for my skirt being too short. So I remember, and a lot of people made fun of me, and I remember feeling like, well, I don't care what you think. You don't know good style. You don't know anything. I'm famous on MySpace. You don't know it. You don't have taste. It's not my fault. And I never looked back. And I remember. There's a moment that I tell my clients, especially my like non-musician clients, there comes a time where you have to choose your heart. It's harder, it was harder for me in that moment to pretend that I was something that I wasn't than it was to make other people comfortable. They're both morally neutral, but it was it was time. And I never looked back and my I had the most dress code violations, according to my principal, who I saw a couple of years back. She goes, You still had the most dress code violations for anybody that we ever we ever had. And when she found out what I did for a living, she goes, ⁓ heavens. Sorry, Miss Worsham. But it was at the sixteen. It was like I never looked back. I've been me for a long time. That's one of the things I love about David Lynch, who is creative, genius, amazing person in the TM world and the art world and life and life. Yeah. A human being. And he says the thing about meditation that makes you more and more you. I quote him so much at work all the time. The the one one quote Do it again, but this time good. That is that's on that's what's just a Patonism at this point. I stole it from him. And the big thing is that when you become more you, you become more like your inner child was supposed to be. And I think there's ⁓ there's a video of him, I forget where he is. I think he's in India because he's got like this big floral thing on. And he goes, Like, I've had two cookies and a Coke. Life is beautiful. So I'm butchering him. It's and so anytime I go, you know what? Life's not so bad. So I say that every time I'm like, I have a coffee. Life is beautiful. I just just try to channel David Lynch in the back of that car. He's such an amazing human being. Yeah. When you mention him in India. Mm-hmm. It just so there I wonder if it was during that trip when Maharishi passed away. I think it was TM. Yeah. I went to India at that time as well. And I remember this moment so clearly. I was walking up this hill from down near the river up to where another event was happening. And all of a sudden I'm walking through this flock of sheep. There's like a bunch of sheep just walking towards us. We're kind of walking through it. And I look up and David was right next to me. And we just started like what episode of Twin Peaks is that we just started laughing, but that just reminded me of it. Just like, here we are. Well, I also it's so absurd. I also think that David Lynch being so involved in this is what made me feel like I could do TM because I I'm an eldest daughter Virgo perfectionist. Like there's so much about me that's like if I can't do something to the T, I don't wanna do it. Which is why I mentioned that I'm a reluctant part time drummer. And I thought that if I'm gonna go fully in, I've gotta wear the robes, I've gotta wear the beads, I've gotta be this person that gives up all my makeup and my clothes, and I've gotta be this like monk on a mountain. And then I saw David Lynch doing it and I go, ⁓ yeah, I'm down. I'm in. The Beatles can do it, David Lynch can do I'm set. Yeah. We're good. And do you feel like you've become more and more you? ⁓ yeah. Yeah. In a really big way. Tell me. I used to feel like I had to fit into this fashion girl mold. Which is kind of like not kind. It's ⁓ cutthroat. And I was working with a lot of people who I was not in alignment with. And I have so many different clients from all different walks of life. And if I I joke all the time that if I only styled people that I wanted to listen to, I'd be at the graveyard. So I have rappers, I've got country, I've got pop, I've got all these things. And my big thing is when I started TM, I said I only want to work with people who are really good people who I think that are doing this for the right reasons, who I genuinely believe are doing the work. And I don't have to listen to their music, but I have to appreciate their art and their their art form. And it was so funny because when I started TM, I started shifting my care that I would put into something. I was caring a lot more about a lot of artists' careers than they were. And I was taking it personally when things didn't work out because of something that they would do or it was inevitable. So I got into fashion as a healing art form. I truly believe that the clothes that you put on your body can change your life. I was being paid as a stylus assistant to put a country singer whose music I don't care for. Whose music I think is actually like corrupting, not corrupting, but like contributing to the dumbing down of society and not in a fun way. There's no way of saying that nicely. He's not helping. And I was being paid an insane amount of money to put this guy in a hoodie that cost more than my rent. And and I was being praised for it. And I wasn't proud of my artwork. I didn't care for him as a human being. And his music wasn't good. I there's music that I don't like, but I can go, that's a great song. That's objectively a well-written song. And I remember I it was the week that I learned TM. I'll never forget this. I came home from a music video shoot where I'm having to like mask myself and I'm having to dumb myself down and I'm having to ⁓ well you're not like the fashion girl that I thought you would be. And I'm like, I know every creative director of Balenciaga for the last forty years, but sure, I'm not the fashion girl. They expected that like it felt like being in the double rush prada, and I'm Andy. On a regular basis. And I remember I would like to try to get connected with people in this artist's camp, and they were just so shallow. They were all very nice, but I remember just being so not in alignment. And I remember going home that night after deciding what $1,800 hoodie to put this guy in. And looking at myself in the mirror and going, You're part of the problem. You're part of the problem, you're not in alignment. You're miserable. It feels like every time that you get out of bed, you're clawing your way out to like go put someone in an outfit that you hate to get a paycheck. And that's not why you did this. So when I started doing TM, I once again, like being kind of connected to consciousness, I'm like, ⁓ there's something greater than me that always is gonna have my back. And that was a good lesson and a good opportunity. But I'm okay to let it go. I'm okay to let things go. And I don't take things personally anymore, which is really was hard for me. And I only work with people that I want to work with. And now I'm working with like people that I am obsessed with, that I love. And it's wonderful. I can look at myself in the mirror at night and go, You did a good job. Like feel that peace, not like congrats, you're part of the problem. That's such a huge, huge shift. Big one. Must be way more rewarding. So much more rewarding. And the other thing too is that I'm not in it for everyone that does music is in it for an ego. We all have an ego, good, bad, or indifferent. ⁓ I my ego does not thrive on, well, you have this artist that you're working for and this artist and it like I I knew my I had an acquaintance that would be like, Well, if you're not it on getty, it doesn't count. So I would style this like big you know, like amaz I d I worked for this artist that we did like a huge domestic violence commercial and she's like, Well, you don't have a ghetto, so it doesn't count. And I kind of was I of that mindset, like if I c if I don't have enough to impress other people, why am I doing this? And then I was like, Well I'm really worried about impressing myself. Cause I would go out, what have been working on? you know, and I wouldn't want to tell people. So yeah, it's it's that whole shift. I don't care anymore if the world thinks I'm the best because I like what I'm doing. And I don't think David Lynch was worried about if people thought that he was the best. He's got two cookies and a Coke. Life is beautiful. So well said. Yeah. And I want to hear a little more one about the part-time drummer. Yeah. Okay. Reluctant, reluctant. Reluctant part-time drummer. Tell me more about that. ⁓ so my husband's a real musician. Uh-huh. I guess I am a real musician now. Part of TM and getting like more spiritually attuned is that I'm open to other connections and possibilities. And if something happens that shows up in my lap, I go, okay, sure. ⁓ so for me, my husband is a musician and he has been playing for he's dedicated his whole life to it. And he's one of those people, when I say musician, I'm he plays eight hours a day, he writes no matter what, he's toured, he's gone all over the world, he's dedicated his entire life to music. He was opening for this guy named Ray Wiley Hubbard, this outlaw country legend, ⁓ years ago, and Ray liked him. So Ray called him up and said, Hey, ⁓ you play bass, right? To my husband. He goes, No, sir. And he goes, You're not hearing me. You play bass, right? Took him out for a whole run as a bass player. He'd never played bass before. And then that led to him playing like Red Rocks and all kinds of stuff with him. He's on this new record that's coming out with like half of his heroes, like the heartbreakers are all over this record. So once again, just kind of like being open to stuff leads you things leads you to things. there are two iterations of Ray's band. There is Ray's band that he normally tours with, which is Ray and his son Lucas, and then this brilliant drummer, Kyle Schneider. And Kyle can play drums and bass on a trigger pad at the same time. His brain is brilliant. He's such a great drummer. And then when they needed like a bass player, and then my husband's real thing is he does slide guitar. ⁓ they would bring in Tovin. So he called Tobin up a couple of years ago and said, Hey man, Kyle can't do the cruise, so we're gonna need you to play bass. Do you know a drummer that would sleep with you? 'Cause all of the cabins are booked and he like, Well Peyton kinda played in high school and he goes, Great, she's hired So my first gig is on the Outlaw Country Cruise in 2024. My first gig is in front of Blackberry Smoke, who I work for. So I style them. The the real drummer is a friend of mine who's a who Britt Turner rests his soul. Brilliant one of the best rock drummers ever. And I'm gonna go out there. Yeah, me too. So great, she's hired. No rehearsal, no audition, nothing. I just had to listen to him. Over and over again, and in between my schedule of like virtual sailing sessions and in-person sailing and music, I had to learn his set. And the first gig was in front of Lucinda Williams, sitting right in front of me. And I threw up on stage. And no one knew. And that's when I was like, okay, maybe I'm not bad at this. I had Vertigo. And I'm up there on a drum riser, just I'm going, it felt like that TikTok sound where it's like, you're probably wondering how I got here. It felt like that. I kept waiting to wake up. So we did the cruise and I thought, well, that was a fun side quest. And then he kept calling. So then that turned into, ⁓ we're playing third in Lindsay in Nashville. Come do that. ⁓ we're playing this. And Danielle, the last year, I'm working and I get a text of a certain date, and it's like the group chat. I thumbs up it. It's for the rhyming. Where I've been doing wardrobe for 15 years, and I know everybody that works there. I'm playing the most sacred stage in the country as a drummer. How'd that go? It was a 45 minute set. I blacked out 30 something minutes in and woke up and I'd played Snake Farm. And the videos look great. I've I I don't remember any of it. It looked cool, but I don't remember any of it. So we're I still gig with him now. As like this hillbilly Meg White. As like a very strange side quest. And part of me is like, you were spiritually open. You took it. So Yeah, it's ⁓ it's interesting what happens to your life when you're not white knuckling all the outcomes of things. And now I'm still doing it. So I guess I'm a real drummer if I've played the Ryman. I would consider that a real drummer. It's bizarre. Such a great story. Yeah. ⁓ and then the other thing I wanna hear a little more about is the pivot into working with everyday people and what how that has unfolded for you and what has surprised you about that and Well, I started doing this thing called soul staling during COVID. And I thought I was just gonna do it until music videos started happening again or photo shoots or whatever. And soul staling is this virtual process I created during COVID to make people like to clean out their closets and basically I was making videos on how to teach people how to style themselves. And then people would say, Well, do you work one on one? At the time I had done virtual consults for musicians, I hadn't done them for real people. So I looked at my kind of I guess syllabus for musicians and was like, how can I make this work for everyday people? And then over time it evolved into this thing. So I have styled people on every single continent except Antarctica, which I want by the end of the year. And I have had dominatrix, priests, stay-at-home moms, strippers, real estate agents, bankers, ⁓ people going through divorce, people going through weight loss, weight gain, recovery. I've had all sorts of people. And when it all comes down to it, it really Every single person on earth has the same problems. They just show up differently. And that also kind of helps me stay connected to consciousness where I'm like, ⁓ we're all experiencing this all together. This makes sense. So the pattern recognition skills really come in handy. And it's what's taught me is that every single person has their own, I'm trying to think of how to put this, has their own insecurities that they're not talking about. And by giving them a place they can do that, I can kind of it's like style therapy, really. I can go, ⁓ well, I noticed that your shoulders slumped down when I said this. What do you think that means by this? And what are your first memories around clothing? And it's not just you're this body type, this is the color you wear, you look great. It's all about deeper connection to how you present yourself. Cause the style's just a symptom of everything else. So it's been really cool. And now I thought I was gonna quit doing it and now I have hundreds of clients all over the world and I do both. So I'll be in a hotel room waiting for a show to happen and I'm like talking to someone in a different time zone, which is crazy. It makes me more connected in a way that I didn't know I could be. And I have a lot more responsibility than I did before because I'm responsible for these people's emotions about their meat suit that carries their soul around. So that's a lot of pressure. It's a lot of pressure. Do you find that TM is helpful in navigating that pressure? Cause there's so much that I'm like. I wanna shake people sometimes and say we're on a rock throat like floating through space, get over it, but I can't. So I definitely have more empathy and patience when I do my TM. I can tell when I don't. I want to come back to you mentioned your husband practices TM as well. Yeah, he he actually learned before me. How has that supported your relationship? We're nicer when we do it. Yeah, we're like he ⁓ really uses it as a tool on the road because when you're a musician on the road, ⁓ you don't have your home, you don't have your routine, you don't have any of that stuff. So he uses it as kind of like a grounding ⁓ modality as well as ⁓ getting him the energy and the clear headedness before shows. If you've ever seen the scan of a musician's brain when they're playing, they're using both sides of their brain at the same time. So it takes a lot of mental energy to do that. Real musicians, not me. I'm just hitting stuff on two and four. You're a real musician. We establish I'm just hitting stuff and blacking out. ⁓ but for ⁓ especially like a guitarist and ⁓ or a bass player, it really it's really prominent in guitar world, which is why a lot of people that have Alzheimer's that are guitar players, they can still play up until the day they die, but they can't remember anything else. Because both sides of their brain are going at the same time. It's also just there's a lot of other people's energy that you might not like or might not want around you. It kind of just it's like a shower. Just kind of gets it all off before you get going. And it's a reminder of why you're doing it because anyone that does art. Yeah, money's nice and fame and recognition are fun, I guess. But it's like you really should be doing it because you are a conduit. You are the channel to whatever message that is, because music is healing. It's supposed to be healing. Regardless of if it's a stupid song that your girlfriend sang along to, or if it's like something that makes you cry. It all should be coming from a place of raising collective consciousness. Not to become like a pretentious jerk about music, but it should be. I am the walrus is fun. That's what it does. That's why that's the Beatles are great. People are like, I can't believe you like the Beatles. They sing about Octopus's guard. And like you sing that and not smile. It's racing the vibration. It's true. It's true. Just as important as anything else. And it's all an expression of that creative intelligence. Yes. That consciousness that's underlying everything. Exactly. We've one last question we'll wrap up with. Yeah. The inner well. Mm-hmm. What does that mean to you? So much of what I give to myself is what I needed as a kid. So much. So I have to, so much of my work that I do for other people is seeing how I would have wanted to be talked to as a child. If I don't mother myself and I don't take care of myself and I don't pour into my own well, there is nothing for them to drink from. So a lot of my TM practice, a lot of my other like spiritual stuff goes into filling the well so other people can drink from it. I think that's what it means to me. Any last thoughts or anything you'd like to? I got two cookies and a Coke. Life is beautiful. Or do it this time, but good. David, we miss you. We do. Such a gem of a human. Yeah. Well, thank you so much. Absolutely. Taking the time and doing this and sharing your story and your light and your wisdom and your great little nuggets. Thanks for having me. That's a wrap on today's episode of The Inner Well. Please subscribe and leave a review. Your support means the world and helps others find us. And if this conversation added something to your day, don't be shy. Share it with someone it might resonate with. Also, please follow us on social for more between episodes and send in your questions, your stories, or the topics you'd like to explore with us. We genuinely love hearing from you and this podcast exists because of you. So keep showing up for yourself and we'll see you next week.