Latest / Values-First Marketing / Rest Is The New Revenue For High-Achieving Women With Dr. Shamieka Dean

Transcript

Rest Is The New Revenue For High-Achieving Women With Dr. Shamieka Dean · Values-First Marketing

• 0:00
  Unknown: Welcome to the copywriting for coaches podcast.
• 0:02
  Unknown: My name is Megan catchin, and I am obsessed with having your brand actually sound like you on the internet. We help you write all the things that you've been trying to articulate about your business but have never been able to put into copy. We're going to go deep to up level your business without adding more to your already full plate.
• 0:18
  Unknown: We'll keep it simple and sustainable. Sound like a breath of relief. Let's dive in. Today.
• 0:26
  Unknown: I am with Dr Shamika Dean, who is a pioneering mentor and catalyst for transformational personal and professional growth as an executive coach, business strategist and spiritual advisor to leaders worldwide, she has helped countless individuals catalyze exponential positive change across all dimensions of a person's life, from marriage, ministry, motherhood and making more money. She has a gift for seeing innate and untapped genius in people and guiding them into alignment with their God designed destiny. Dr Dean is most known for challenging, challenging paradigms of hustle and work hard, hard work by revolutionizing how women view success as a number one, Best Selling Author, award winning business owner and leader, Dr Dean guides over 100,000 individuals towards holistic, balanced success. Her achievements have been featured on major platforms like Steve Harvey, TEDx, Thinkific, to buddy and Z beer, and I can't wait to welcome Dr Dean to the show. We have been in conversation. And I just want to preface that this conversation is not directly about copywriting, even though this is the copywriting for coaches podcast, but it is the prerequisite to be able to produce the amount and the quality of copywriting that needs to happen. And this conversation is really for the ones who are ready to do the deep work that is necessary to move forward with foundation underneath your feet. And Dr Dean is like, my personal ready, because we just jumped into the deep conversation. We were like, we're not even going to do that service stuff. So she has my heart already. So welcome to the show.
• 2:08
  Unknown: Thank you so much. I'm excited to be here for my audience. Many are maybe in the 40 plus area, and at this age and stage of life, we just don't have the energy that we once did to be able to do like, to do the hustle thing anymore.
• 2:26
  Unknown: That got us maybe that initial level of success, but now we have to do things differently, absolutely, because one of my my unique methodology, right is rest is the new revenue. And when, when most people hear rest. The first thing they think is, stop stall, you know, take time off, do nothing. But rest is really about alignment first, and that alignment is about who you are, who you're called to serve, and how you serve them.
• 2:57
  Unknown: And so what I've seen, even with us, many that get into the hustle of things and the hard work, it's not that hard work is truly the only way to success.
• 3:11
  Unknown: What it is is that we have created such a high tolerance level for pain that subconsciously reject anything that doesn't hurt for us to receive the results. Okay, so I'm going to say that again.
• 3:29
  Unknown: Say that again, please. We're taking notes here.
• 3:33
  Unknown: It's not that hard work is the only way is that what we have created such a high tolerance level for pain that we subconsciously reject anything that doesn't require pain for us to get results, and that's why many people are addicted to the hard work. It gives you a dopamine. It makes you feel like you deserve this because you have worked so hard for it.
• 4:00
  Unknown: However, when everything that you created up until this point is birthed from a place of pain, you continue to self inflict pain to get more results when you don't truly have to. And when we think about hard work, and we think about those before us, they worked harder because they did have another choice.
• 4:19
  Unknown: They didn't have the resources that we had. They didn't have access to, you know, social media and automating systems, and you know, many of the things that we have, and when we really, truly think about a lot of times, the people who worked really, really hard that they took no days off, they hustled, they grind. We don't think about what the hustle cost them. We don't think about how much the hustle actually hurt, right? We don't think about that and we look at, well, they got these results. Yes, they did, but what did it actually cost them to get those results, and was it truly the. Only way, or was it the only way that they knew at the time? Okay, and so that's when, when I'm walking even clients through this, I ask them, when you think about your parents, you know, who may have worked two to three jobs. They worked hard because they didn't have enough money. They didn't work hard, because hard work was the only way to success. They didn't have enough money, so they had to work two to three jobs right to be able to provide a better life. Now, when you also think about it, how many birthdays did they miss? How many more? How many very important moments? How many family vacations? How many dinners? How many times was you know, your mom may be sad because your dad missed anniversary, or you were sad because your dad was not able to show up to your soccer game, as he said. And when you think about the things that you value the most, or the memories that you value the most from your parent, you don't value that he worked hard the moments that he was there when it mattered to you the most. Now I don't want this to be perceived as saying we don't make a lot of money, because it's not true, right?
• 6:14
  Unknown: It's just simply how we are building, so that we build in a way that we can accomplish those dreams, we can meet the seven to eight figure, nine figure mark in our revenue, however, it doesn't cost us our sanity.
• 6:28
  Unknown: Doesn't cost us our relationship with our children. Doesn't cost us our relationship with our spouse, and it doesn't cost us our relationship with ourselves, right? Oh, it's not about not having success. It's not about choosing between hard work or success. It's about being able to have success in a way that doesn't harm you or the ones you love in the process, right? Because what kind of definition of success is that really, if it's costing you, like the very things you're working for, absolutely, because I all and I, you know, I'm a perspective shifter, so I always ask, even my clients, when I work with them, I say, Well, I don't ask them. I just kind of put the stain on their brain and for them to sit with it. I say, if you are doing this for your family, it wouldn't cost you your family to get it Okay, so sit with that and allow yourselves to really think about it. Are you really doing it for your family, or is there a different ammunition behind your ambition?
• 7:40
  Unknown: Oh, so okay, I feel like I'm thinking about my audience of a lot of high achieving women, and they have done a lot of, you know, personal development kind of things, and are the spiritual and are going down that path, and I feel like they know, maybe know this theoretically, but they're not doing it like they're not living that they're still falling back into their old habits or lack of boundaries between business and and family.
• 8:19
  Unknown: So what would you say to that high achieving woman?
• 8:23
  Unknown: I would ask her the true wealth of her while and when I say that I want I'm talking about the depth, the width and the height of why you're doing what you're doing. And when I say death, I'm talking about the real reason that you are unable to pull back and build balance. Because here's the thing, there is either something or someone that you are afraid of losing, and sometimes the person you're afraid of losing is the version of yourself that you have created to build this level of success, and because now your identity is connected to your income and your influence. Now, if you were to pull back, you no longer know who you are, right?
• 9:11
  Unknown: And so, because right now, everyone knows you as the seven figure earner, the eight figure earner, everyone knows you as the person who's ambitious, who's driven and all these things, but who knows you at your core, and are you solid enough within yourself that you can take a step to restructure how you're building to still get the same results without feeling like you have lost a part of you when you're doing it, because even inadvertently right as we're building, when we are constantly applauded for the accomplishments, we start to.
• 9:57
  Unknown: Find our we start to find validation in those things, to say you're good enough, but you're doing a good job, right?
• 10:05
  Unknown: So we have what's called performance identity, which is rooted in everything that we're able to do so that we can get however, and that's why it's so hard. That's why you find yourself almost in a panic when you're trying to pull back and stop, because I'm used to people telling me how good my you know, how proud they are of Me and how they wish they could be like me.
• 10:33
  Unknown: And I'm used to being awarded, and someone is always clapping for me because every hand clap tells me that I'm good enough, right? So now, if I stop, if I haven't solidified my identity, completely detached from the roles, the rewards, if I haven't been able to establish my core identity, where I am so solid within that whether you clap for me or not, whether you say I'm good enough or not, I know that I am enough. I've always been enough, and I'll always be enough, right? Because that's a different type of piece. That's that different type of piece where you're able to pivot if you need to pivot, because you are not you are not in the prison of people's opinions, right? You're not imprisoned by how much money you know you made, or any of those things.
• 11:36
  Unknown: And so when I look at a woman, I can immediately tell if she is moving from her performance identity or her core identity, because if she's moving from her performance identity, she won't she won't take a step back, even if she has a top tier team that's proven they can get results. If she's operating from performance identity, she finds a reason to continue working in the business, so she keeps her laptop on standby, just in case.
• 12:07
  Unknown: You know, there's a fire she needs to put out right when she's operating in performance identity. Look at many of her relationships. Most of them are either transactional or they are all connected to her business network, when she's operating in performance identity, when it's time for her to to make a shift, the first thing she thinks about is the money that's performance identity. When it's time for her to make a shift, she starts to think about what people are going to think. That's performance identity, right?
• 12:44
  Unknown: When it's time for her to make a shift, she thinks about all of the time she's put in and all of the things she could possibly lose. But when she is operating in her core identity, she can release anything, because it's no it's it's not an indication of her worth or her value. She thinks about her peace, she thinks about her sanity. She thinks about how she how she's going to feel about herself when she looks herself in the mirror at night. That is someone who is solid in their core identity, right? Because she's she's not concerned about anything external. She's thinking about.
• 13:28
  Unknown: Is this going to keep me in alignment with my purpose? Is this going to continue to bring fulfillment to my life? Is this going to allow me to still operate in my truest authenticity? Is this going to allow me to do that? Do I have to conform to show up in this in this atmosphere? If that's a woman that's solid in her core identity, because she's not looking for applause when she steps in the room, I'm looking for anyone to tell her that she's good enough, right?
• 14:00
  Unknown: Because whether she is making ten million this year and she makes a million dollars the next year, she's still solid in who she is. She's not questioning her worth, she's not questioning her value, she's not questioning who she is. That is a woman that's solid in her core identity that is such a beautiful description of both of what both can look like. And I think we can resonate with with pieces of of each one. I know I can at least and when I think about a woman in her core identity, how do I become more of that woman, meaning more of myself? How?
• 14:45
  Unknown: What is my question here? I feel like it requires a slower life.
• 14:54
  Unknown: I. Like, the pace of life that we're trying to go at, to do all the things, to be all the things, to everyone, to even with the AI thing is like, well, you can do everything so much faster, and with an iPhone in your pocket, like, it's just so convenient, you can do everything faster. And then, like, I just wonder if it's a pace of life that we weren't meant to keep pace with. And I feel like for me to step into my core identity, it requires a slowing down. And I wonder if that's something you see.
• 15:35
  Unknown: So when I think of core identity, I don't believe that it's about slowing down more so than it is about surrendering mm, because the thing about time, time, the way that we look at it, has been taught, you know, more linear, if you will, Right? Yeah, but time is always about the prepared. It's really about the prepared. We grow at the pace in which we are prepared to grow. And that preparation process is, is and will always be, about the woman that you are within. And so the reason people will shoot for the surface level success, the external success, before the soul level success, which is what I call it, where you're building from a place, you're building in a way that, again, it's not attached to your value or you know who you are, and you're building from a place of wholeness and not neediness. So you're building from value, not a void or a vacancy. Now, what makes it challenging for most people, I believe, is we want the surface level success, because it doesn't require us to really look at ourselves. It doesn't okay. It doesn't require us to peel back the masks that we put on to prevent the fear the the pain of rejection or abandonment. And so when it comes to, you know, establishing your core identity, the question that you know you want to ask yourself is, the question you want to ask yourself is, who would I be if I didn't fear that the world would judge me? How would I wear my hair? How would I talk? What type of clothes would I wear, right? And who was I before I allowed the world to tell me who I couldn't be, because that is the core of who you are. Yeah, and yeah, that's the core of who you are. And many of us, I believe that that as even as children, we come into the world knowing who we are. It's our God given design. And this is why you will find a child who's never been in this world, and the first thing that they pick up is a pencil or something, and they start beating on things they don't even know what music is. Mm, hmm. Or you have the child that no matter how many times you tell them not that the wall is not paper, you see their gift of artists. You know of art all over your walls. They're expressing who they are, but somewhere along the journey, as they expressed who they were even as parents, we don't realize we're doing it, and we say, Don't do that. So this creates a psychological imprint in their mind that when they are doing the thing that they are created to do, that's a part of their core identity and purpose.
• 19:38
  Unknown: I got in trouble for that.
• 19:44
  Unknown: Something is wrong. Maybe I shouldn't do this. And so then we start going on the path of least resistance, because we don't want to be in trouble.
• 19:51
  Unknown: Okay? So it's not again, it's not that the getting to your core identity is a slower process, and it's not that building from that place is a slower process. It's how deep you're willing to go and how fast you're willing to do it.
• 20:13
  Unknown: Okay, and you mentioned so like, it's less about slowing down and more about surrendering. And you've talked about surrender is the supernatural success strategy. What? What does that tangibly look like for a high achieving woman who is a mom, who is a business owner this so surrender is, again, it's not about stopping, but surrender is about releasing your need to control the outcome, because that's the only thing. And when we try to control the outcome, what we're really trying to do is prevent ourselves from going through some kind of hardship. We don't want to go through anything, right? And that's really what it's all about. So it's, again, it's not about stopping. It's now when I'm doing something, see, I'm in a place of surrender. So if I go on social media to write a piece of content, the reason it resonates so well is because I'm not doing it to get anything from you. I'm not posting anything on social media to get a response. So because I've detached myself from the need to get a response to validate that I've done something good, right, right? So now, when I'm posting something, I'm I'm I'm pulling from a posture of alignment. I'm pulling from a posture of my identity, and I'm simply sharing it with you and excuse me, and I don't, I don't look for you to say that is good, because it was good to me. It was good to me, you know. So I'm simply giving to you what I've already given to myself. That's surrender, right? I don't even in my even in my marriage, I don't seek my husband to feel a void or a vacancy in my life. I'm adding the value to his life that I already know, that I have inside. You see, you see what I'm saying. So I'm not saying My identity is not attached to my marriage. My marriage is not an idol. I'm not as I'm not identified by it, right? I show up in my marriage as a whole version of myself, not a perfect version, but a whole version.
• 22:32
  Unknown: The whole version does not mean that I'm without fault, error, or any of those things. The whole version of myself simply means that I am in this space because I desire to give of the value that I have, because I know that the value that I have is going to add value to someone else's life. It just happens to be the man that you know that I married, right? So when I think about surrender, that's what I think about number one again, not needing to control how or when, and that's why I tell people, even me as a believer, I don't have to know how, because I know who, and when you think about how and who they have the same letters, you know. So I don't have to know how, as long as I know who, why, because I trust that my entire being, my path, my purpose is already been predestined. I'm simply following the path that was already laid out for me. Yeah, right, so that's what surrender looks like. It's not me waking up trying to figure out how I can get something from somebody.
• 23:40
  Unknown: It's not me um, showing up in certain rooms. You know, just because I want to connect with this person, if I'm in that room, I believe that I've been sent to that space. And there is a there is territory that God has given me to walk in and to share my value with those people. Do you get what I'm saying? So what a different posture than if you're walking in trying to prove yourself. Or, Yes, let me connect with this person.
• 24:05
  Unknown: I'm sure they can get me here.
• 24:08
  Unknown: Or, you know, let me prove to this person that I'm really smart, I'm really brilliant, I'm really, you know, an expert, and all of those things. When you are surrendered, you don't have a need to prove anything. You are literally aligning with the predestined path that was already set before you. And that may look different depending on where I am in my life at the time, but it's okay, because at the end of the day, I'm still going to get to the destination I desire. Yeah, just letting the Goosebumps that'll land for a second here.
• 24:47
  Unknown: Oh, that is so good. And I feel like I could keep asking you all the questions all day and just stepping more into like the woman in her core identity, moving away from the performance identity. And I feel like so much of this is still retrospect, or like, Oh, I did that. And like, I recognize that was maybe not the way I wanted to, you know, walk into the room, for example, um, embracing, like, networking and things, those things are not innately. Bad, like they're not, you know, they're not bad.
• 25:25
  Unknown: They're not wrong. I just believe that it's, it's more about why you do what you do than what you actually do. You know, and when you truly believe that wealth or success is yours, when you truly believe that, I believe that you begin to operate from that space, and it actually exudes from you, versus you going to do something to try to get those things right. So I don't build wealth right. I'm not here to build wealth, right?
• 26:04
  Unknown: I am wealth, right? You get me saying, so when I walk to a room, people experience it and and this is when I was broke, you know, you know, I didn't have two nickels to rub together, as my my grandmother would say, however, when I walked into the room because I walk in my identity of a person of wealth within when I walk into a room, people automatically associated me with millions before I ever made a million in my business, you get what I'm saying. And so, because, again, I'm not going in here to try to build wealth. I was birthed wealthy. That's my identity. So I don't have to prove anything, and I don't need money to to validate what's already my identity. I now can create from that space, you know? And so even when you do that, it's a lot easier to to make the money. I'll tell anyone making money is the easiest thing to do. It's maximizing the money, where you got to put the elbow grease in learn how to make the money work for you, because we've been taught that works is the way that we get wealth. You know? We've been taught that, and so now we're trying to do, do, do instead of BBB. And I know a lot of times it was like, well, Am I just supposed to do nothing? No, you do because of who you are. You don't do to become who you are, right? So it's, it's the difference in how you approach it. You're not doing it. You're doing it because that's who you are. You're already that person.
• 27:50
  Unknown: You're already that now you're not doing it because you want to become that you're not doing because you're trying to convince other people that you are, that you're just doing it because that's who I am. So if I'm a mother, right? I'm not feeding the kids because I want them to know that I'm I'm believe I'm their mother. I'm feeding them because I am their mother, right? That's a part of what comes from me, because of the the place that I operate from, and so that's what I want women to, to really get to, you know, to that place. That's why I have so much peace. You know, I People tell me all this, oh my God, you look like you're glowing. You have so much you just look just like you're so I because I am peace is me. I am truly at peace with myself. I live life from a place of certainty and security in my god given identity, okay? And so I have I exuded because it's not something I'm trying to do, right? And that's why, when people are around me, they feel comfortable, they feel relaxed, they feel safe, because I'm sick in myself.
• 29:05
  Unknown: I I'm saying I don't feel out of whack in my own body. I'm not afraid of my emotions. I'm not afraid to feel. I'm not afraid of any of those things. And all of this came because I rooted and grounded myself in my god given identity first? Yeah, everything else is a byproduct of that.
• 29:30
  Unknown: Yeah, and I feel like so many people want to skip that, because it's hard, because it's scary, because you have to face things that you don't want to face, and yet it's, it's really the only way. I mean, you can do it another way, but only for so long, and then the burnout comes. And, you know, at this point in business, like, we've all experienced that before. And if you really want to move forward in a way that is sustainable, that in a way that has true peace and like, truly, like, you are exuding it like I feel like I just want to stay in your presence, because it is so peaceful. It is so just like I want more, I want more.
• 30:07
  Unknown: Yeah, that's that nurturer, too.
• 30:07
  Unknown: I'm an, I'm a nurturer, you know. And, you know, I genuinely, I live being a safe space for people so, you know, and I give the. Best Hugs. Hugs are here.
• 30:26
  Unknown: Your children are so lucky to have you. I hope they appreciate, appreciate you as mom, they do. They do good, good.
• 30:33
  Unknown: Well, if more people want to stay connected with you, where is the best place that they can find you and stay in touch all social media platforms.
• 30:44
  Unknown: Shamika Dean, I do a weekly upload and a weekly live on YouTube, but it's under the Shamika Dean show, so I'm actually building that out now and on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn calls under Dr Shamika Dean.
• 31:07
  Unknown: Dr Shamika Dean, perfect.
• 31:07
  Unknown: Definitely go follow her there.
• 31:10
  Unknown: Um, you'll see me liking and commenting on like, basically everything, because it's all so so good. So thank you so much for your time coming on the show. You are so welcome. Thank you for having me.
• 31:22
  Unknown: Thank you for tuning in to the copywriting for coaches podcast.
• 31:25
  Unknown: If you've been enjoying these episodes, let me know that you're listening and what you love about it by clicking on the copywriting for coaches show in Apple podcasts and leaving me a review. Be sure to subscribe while you're there, so it's easy to catch new episodes every week if you want digital resources to finish that copy project you've been working on, the links are all waiting for you at copywriting for coaches podcast.com you.