Latest / Not All Business / Stories Over Prompts | Why Leadership Storytelling Beats AI Every Time
Transcript
- 0:00Have you ever fallen out of a tanning booth naked?
- 0:02Well, neither have I, but today's all about stories.
- 0:06We're talking to Julie Lancaster, CEO of Lancaster
- 0:09Leadership and author of Beyond Words.
- 0:11How our stories and strategies inspire action.
- 0:14Julie's calling 2026 the year of leadership storytelling.
- 0:18The leaders who win won't be the ones who prompt AI the best.
- 0:22They'll be the ones who can influence, connect, and motivate
- 0:25through authentic lived experience.
- 0:27We're diving into why storytelling matters more than
- 0:29ever, how to trigger real motivation in your team.
- 0:32We breakdown elements of a story and what you need to make them
- 0:35memorable, and how Robert De Niro and Anne Hathaway could
- 0:38teach you a life lesson. So welcome to Not All Business,
- 0:41a podcast by two former CEO's who went from competitors to
- 0:44friends. I'm Blakely Graham and my Co
- 0:47host is Heather Cooper, and we're joined by our producer
- 0:50Clay Cornell. Now let's get down to business.
- 1:00Heather, have you been oh, could we do that again?
- 1:05Heather 321 and we're live. Oh.
- 1:11That's good. We're so we're so you.
- 1:16Been following all of our comments lately.
- 1:19Yes. It's so great.
- 1:21It's so. Great.
- 1:23Sudden the listeners have like unleashed and we're getting like
- 1:27the best comments like there was one tell me it was after
- 1:31Bailey's episode. Remember she said open the
- 1:34horseshoe. Someone in the comments did like
- 1:37just an emoji array of like a circle and an arrow and then a
- 1:41horseshoe and I'm like that would make the.
- 1:43Perfect tattoo. How good would that be that
- 1:46would be? Oh, and then we had another
- 1:48listener say that they want to see get ready with me, which I
- 1:52know what those are because I have a teenage daughter that
- 1:55sits in front of the mirror and like talks to herself.
- 1:59But then someone same list, same listener said G.
- 2:05Yeah. What's the acronym?
- 2:07I don't know, hold on. It was like could you do a G UW
- 2:12RM? Get UN ready with me.
- 2:16Yeah, I mean, I had to Google. I didn't know that.
- 2:18But like, what does that mean? Do they want to see me, like,
- 2:21take off my makeup? Do you do that?
- 2:24I don't do it. See, I spend all this money get.
- 2:26UN ready. No, because I'm so fucking
- 2:29tired. And you know what?
- 2:30I I have all of this, all of this stuff that I buy Kirsten,
- 2:35God bless her. She tries to keep my face
- 2:36looking nice. And like misiller water,
- 2:39whatever it's called. I got, I got the, I got the
- 2:43products right. I got you got the retinol, you
- 2:45got the collagen, you got the stuff you put on your face at
- 2:47night. And I bought a.
- 2:48New one swears that. I swear to God.
- 2:51I mean, maybe once every two weeks.
- 2:53Kirsten, I'm so sorry I'm admitting this publicly, but
- 2:56you're supposed to do it every night.
- 2:57I walk to my bed, I get undressed at my bed and I climb
- 3:01into bed. That's that's my get unrady with
- 3:05me. I'm sorry.
- 3:06I have a pile of like bras and pants next to my bed.
- 3:11It's just I get and then it's that's it.
- 3:13I'm good in the morning though, really.
- 3:15Hoping that's not what she meant.
- 3:17I really don't think she wants. To see it was sexier than that.
- 3:21No, I, I think she wanted us to like debrief, like our trips
- 3:25that we take, our networking events and things like that.
- 3:29I don't think she wants to like see this no makeup.
- 3:31I really don't. And I don't actually really wear
- 3:33a lot of makeup, so she doesn't want to see me put it on either.
- 3:37Doesn't make sense. No, I think there's a window for
- 3:40that. It's like when you're teen, yes,
- 3:43and then. But then also the grandmas that
- 3:45do it crack me up and they're adorable.
- 3:47I've seen the grandmas that do it.
- 3:48Yeah. No one, no one gives us a crap
- 3:50at our age but. Well, when does it ramp back up?
- 3:53Like how much older do we have to get before we're cool again?
- 3:56I don't know 7580. All right, mom, I'm going to
- 4:03have my mom do it. Get ready and it get ready.
- 4:07It's it's too long. The get ready in the morning.
- 4:10I mean, it's like, OK, I sit up in bed, I lay back down and I
- 4:15try again, lay back down. Then I try the third time.
- 4:18Usually I'll get up, go to the bathroom, come back, sit down.
- 4:21It's like it's a whole thing where I'm actually ready to get
- 4:24up. I know it's.
- 4:26About slow. I'm very peaceful.
- 4:29I meditate in between those, by the way.
- 4:30Oh. For the love of goodness.
- 4:32I don't even pick up my phone. I don't even pick up my.
- 4:35That is, that's a double humble brag.
- 4:37OK, I Blakely, I know you want to say something, but do either
- 4:40of you have a cooler like by your like get ready station?
- 4:44Do you have like a like a? Mini fridge.
- 4:46Do not. My daughter does.
- 4:49Yeah. It's ridiculous.
- 4:50Heather, you said you. Do wait, did you say you had
- 4:52one? Yeah, I do.
- 4:54Sorry, I think it's ridiculous. It's not ridiculous, it's pretty
- 4:57freaking great. What's it for 'cause you can't
- 4:59fit drinks in there? She puts her to buy her drinks.
- 5:03Oh, I'm not putting food in there.
- 5:04I'm putting my eye under eye things so they're nice and cool
- 5:08and they deep up OK. This doesn't just happen OK.
- 5:12This the OK. It's a whole process.
- 5:17Hey Clay, I'm curious, how do you know about the little
- 5:20fridges that the that the ladies keep in their bathrooms?
- 5:24OK, so in a in a previous life, I was a wedding video editor and
- 5:30so I would edit basically the get ready with me stuff for the
- 5:36women. And that's where I learned
- 5:39pretty much most of what I know. So those have been around for a
- 5:43while. Yeah, and I was curious about
- 5:47the get on ready with me because I've never edited that kind of
- 5:52content and I've never watched. And you know, some like I know
- 5:56what the get and by the way, the things that women talk about
- 5:59when they're getting ready, I mean, it is hot Goss, right?
- 6:03But the get on ready with me, like what are you talking about?
- 6:06Like everyone's tired and they don't want to talk anymore
- 6:08unless it was like. A crazy night.
- 6:11Unless it was a crazy night. So what would you talk about
- 6:13during a get unrady with me? What are people talking?
- 6:15About I don't, I don't know, I don't have crazy nights anymore.
- 6:19I really don't or if ever, to be honest, other than that bar
- 6:22fight we talked about last week. But.
- 6:26I'm taking you out. I'm going to keep you up past
- 6:289:00 one of these days. Yeah.
- 6:31It's going to happen and then I'm going to video the whole
- 6:34thing. I'm not going to tell you about
- 6:37it. I'm just going to do it.
- 6:38That'll be. Better I think that I think that
- 6:40these get unread. This is my conspiracy hat.
- 6:44I think that these get unread with me.
- 6:46Videos are a total like corporate created thing to sell
- 6:53more products to women and. Pyjamas and products and it
- 6:57turns into a competition and little night masks and those
- 7:00like glowing fucking plastic things that people put on their
- 7:04face. I don't know about those, but I
- 7:06believe you. I mean it sounds.
- 7:07Red light. You're talking about the red
- 7:09light, right? It looks super scary.
- 7:12I tried one of those once and they say you can like read while
- 7:16you have them on, but it's like blaring red light.
- 7:19And I'm like, oh, so I bought those goggles used to wear in
- 7:22this sun tanning booth that we don't do anymore.
- 7:24We don't do. Those kids.
- 7:25I miss the tanning booth. There I do too.
- 7:27I. Don't miss the warm there.
- 7:28Smell. Smell was gross, but it was so
- 7:32warm. Sometimes I would go just to be
- 7:33in there just because it'd be warm, you know?
- 7:35Detroit is so cold. Yeah, just go warm up for 15
- 7:38minutes with some cocoa butter. OK, wait, wait.
- 7:41OK, real quick. I've never smelled the smell.
- 7:45A burning skin. Yeah, what does it actually
- 7:47smell like? Burning flesh.
- 7:48It's it's burning flesh, but it's burning.
- 7:50They had this brown tropical oil you would put on.
- 7:54First, it was called an accelerator.
- 7:56Yes. And you would put that on and
- 7:58the smell and then you'd have to like wipe down, disinfect the
- 8:02bed. It was so disgusting.
- 8:04And then they. 'D be like OK, it's five extra
- 8:06dollars for the accelerator and they were just Oh my God, the
- 8:10money they were making because it would be a little plastic cup
- 8:12and that was like squeezed into it and then they were selling
- 8:15those for 5 bucks if you wanted to accelerate it.
- 8:18Not all of us had your kind of money, OK?
- 8:20Some of us, hey. Bullshit.
- 8:21It's cheaper if you buy it in bulk.
- 8:24Heather, do you want to hear the most embarrassing story for
- 8:28someone else? We were in the waiting room of
- 8:33the tanning. This is in college when everyone
- 8:34was tanning. OK, It was before we knew.
- 8:36It was now for you. OK.
- 8:37Is wait, first of all, is this East Lansing?
- 8:39This is Michigan State University.
- 8:41Oh yeah, here we go. Yeah, and my friend and I were
- 8:43too poor to have our own tanning package.
- 8:45Shout out to you, Leslie. And so we we wore the same
- 8:48winter coat and it was the tanning coat.
- 8:50And so we had both blonde hair and we had a red jacket.
- 8:53And so we would go in every other day because we bought the
- 8:55All You Can Tan package. But then we would just wear the
- 8:57tanning coat and they would know.
- 8:59That's like having a fake ID in. College.
- 9:01It was awesome. Anyway, so I was standing there
- 9:05in my tanning coat and this poor girl was in one of those stand
- 9:10up ones because there's the beds that you can lay down.
- 9:12And there's the stand. Ups and they have like the
- 9:14handles. So scary.
- 9:16And she was totally naked as you do, because you don't want to
- 9:19have the tan lines. Whatever.
- 9:21She passed out, those poor little she passed out in the
- 9:25tanning booth and then fell out out of the tanning booth and out
- 9:30into the waiting room because it was the first one.
- 9:33So she busted through both doors because she didn't lock the
- 9:38first door and she's laying naked.
- 9:42It totally passed out on there, Yeah.
- 9:45Is she OK? I mean, I don't know.
- 9:47We were all laughing so hard. I was, I mean, the workers came
- 9:50in and handled it and then we're like looking away.
- 9:52I think I grabbed like a towel and kind of threw it over her.
- 9:56Topside at like a tanning boost salon because back in my college
- 10:01ours were like in the back of a clothing shop.
- 10:04It's like they couldn't quite afford to have a whole salon so
- 10:08they just had a bed in the back. Room so sketch.
- 10:12This sounds this has this industry like progressed like is
- 10:16it like safer now or is it they're?
- 10:18Still, they still have. They still do it.
- 10:20In fact, it's getting on trend again.
- 10:22And I'm like, stop it. Like I thought the spray tan is
- 10:26supposed to be the safer thing. Now talk.
- 10:28About smelling bad. God, the spray tan.
- 10:30I've never had one. Do you?
- 10:31Remember the Sneetches book? Do you remember the Sneetches
- 10:34book? The Starbelly Sneetches.
- 10:36And the The Lorax, is that The Lorax?
- 10:39Yeah, I don't know where the guy comes to town and he's stamping
- 10:41the stars on the belly and it was so cool.
- 10:44And then same guy brings in another one.
- 10:46He's like, it's not cool to have, you know, the stars on
- 10:50your belly anymore. And so then pays them to take it
- 10:52off. That's what the tanning industry
- 10:54is doing with the laser light therapy because they're like,
- 10:58here, come get tanned. And then now it's not cool to be
- 11:00tanned. So now here come use this and
- 11:02try to get the spots off your faces.
- 11:05Oh, and then here you want to be a little bit more tan, right?
- 11:08It's just like. It's all the whole circular
- 11:10racket, yeah. OK, yeah, we're uncovering.
- 11:13This is real off topic today. This is now officially a true
- 11:17crime podcast, so we're about to blow up.
- 11:22I have thought about that before.
- 11:24What do you mean honest to God? You say true crime?
- 11:26Could you kill someone via tanning bed?
- 11:29Could you? I've thought that when I've been
- 11:30laying in it. Like what if someone broke in
- 11:33here, locked me in and kept it on totally?
- 11:37How long would it take me to die?
- 11:39Like, I don't know, you would heat up, you'd boil from the
- 11:42inside. Like the radiation?
- 11:44On the outside, Oh, gosh, now this is getting gross.
- 11:47It's getting gross. OK, I have real news.
- 11:50What is it? What is it?
- 11:52Did you follow Jason Lemkin or do you follow Jason Lemkin?
- 11:56Yeah, everyone follows, right. Everyone follows Jason Limpkin,
- 12:00his like post Clay, just I know you don't follow Jason Limpkin.
- 12:04He was what did he he founded Echo Sign.
- 12:10I think that got bought by Adobe and so successful founder and
- 12:14then he became like this voice of sass essentially.
- 12:18And there is this annual conference saster and he's kind
- 12:22of like the grandfather of it, although I think he's younger
- 12:25than me. Anyway, he like just really like
- 12:28throws provocative posts out all the time and sometimes they
- 12:32grate on me and sometimes I agree with them.
- 12:34And there was one that like just popped up today and I purposely
- 12:39printed it out knowing who we have on today.
- 12:41And I'm only going to read like the first sentence and I'll
- 12:43summarize it. So watching 3 founder CE OS at
- 12:49200 million plus ARR quit their startups the past two weeks or
- 12:54so. And then he goes on to say like,
- 12:56oh, how he kind of gets why they quit.
- 12:59And then he goes on to say, but quitting because it got harder
- 13:03in the age of AI. No respect, none at all.
- 13:09I take issue with that because think about our companies,
- 13:15Heather, project management apps, they are still out there.
- 13:20They're still going strong, They're still growing.
- 13:24And yet would I have started that company today?
- 13:30Would you have started that company today?
- 13:35I would have started it with a lot less people and a lot less
- 13:37money. I would have had you could
- 13:39still, you know, you're just so able to pivot so quickly now.
- 13:44So I think it's a different model.
- 13:45I mean, I think there's always still going to be a need for
- 13:47people who aren't going to go out and build their own
- 13:50solution. I mean, yes, you can vibe code
- 13:53and yes, you can get there, but you still have to know enough
- 13:55about what you don't know to actually make it work for you.
- 13:58And at that point it's like diminishing returns.
- 14:00Like maybe it's just easier to use QuickBooks then go build my
- 14:03own? Yeah, you're right.
- 14:07But you would go in eyes wide open I guess.
- 14:11And my struggle with this post is 200 million AR.
- 14:15First of all, let's just say a founder is still running a
- 14:19company with 200 million AR That's unheard.
- 14:22That's I don't even believe it. Is.
- 14:24He saying they're bootstrapped. No, I, I had plays question AR
- 14:30is at annual recurring revenue. So like how much subscription
- 14:33dollars you're getting? Were they bootstrapped?
- 14:35So he mentioned something about it being, he says, stay
- 14:39bootstrap, do whatever you want. But then he also says, you know,
- 14:45you took on a lot of capital. So I'm a little, I'm a little
- 14:49confused by that, but he writes growth way down, no M&A options.
- 14:53It's supposed to get easier at that stage, but now it's harder
- 14:56than ever. New AI competitors everywhere,
- 14:58no access to capital, loss of market share, but there's a loss
- 15:01of a lot of stuff like, you know, when you had your
- 15:03competitors like I, I could watch cloud coach, you know, and
- 15:08you could watch task grade. We kind of knew, oh, I know it.
- 15:11We would like know what each other's moves would be.
- 15:15And it was slower, right? And capital was like free and
- 15:19cheap back then practically. And so I just I struggle with
- 15:23this like we're not saying, hey, it was really hard first of all,
- 15:27for that founder to get to 200 million founder burnout's real.
- 15:30And all the sudden like literally overnight bam and AI
- 15:36bomb goes off and we're like not expected to want to quit Look.
- 15:40And they have no respect. Like I just that bummed me out.
- 15:44Like I get it, like you don't want to leave your company, but
- 15:49also like everything changed over Flippin Knight.
- 15:55So how do you become like the founder?
- 15:58That can lead through that too. Like it's just you're much to
- 16:01ask. I agree with you in that then
- 16:03you are transitioning into a founder of a new company because
- 16:06there's no way your company can just remain the way it was.
- 16:09And so now you're saying, OK, so I've gotten the company this
- 16:12far, it has to completely shift and change.
- 16:16And if not, I'm going to lose everything.
- 16:17So am I up for this like new startup of that's going to have
- 16:21to be a new thing and I can get people being like, no, actually
- 16:24I'm not. And frankly, I don't know
- 16:26anything about it because everybody that's coming in, it's
- 16:28like they have no history of this.
- 16:30They have, there was really not a ton of ways to prepare.
- 16:33So they're having to learn, relearn a whole new business
- 16:36model. It really is like starting over.
- 16:38It is starting over. And you know, I always say like
- 16:41there's a stage and a time for everyone in your company.
- 16:45And my stage and time was, you know, like to 10, maybe I could
- 16:49have made it to 50 million, but I wasn't going to ever be the
- 16:53person to get us to 200. Yeah.
- 16:55And so. Exactly how to be the person to?
- 16:57Go to AI. Yeah.
- 16:59And then what? What multiple did you get out?
- 17:02Nice. Try.
- 17:03I know exactly what kind of math you're trying.
- 17:05To get so close this time we got.
- 17:07So I'm going to, I think it might need to involve involve
- 17:09alcohol to get out of her. I think it's a get UN ready with
- 17:14me type. It's a get UN ready with me so
- 17:16bleakly. Hey, can you pass me that
- 17:18blanket? Hey, what was that again?
- 17:19What did you? What was that?
- 17:21Just kidding. All all I'm saying to like come
- 17:25full circle is if I wasn't the founder to get us to 200
- 17:29million, I probably also wasn't the founder to get us through
- 17:33AI, right? Like I was already.
- 17:35Well, and I think there's a lot of founders and that night, I
- 17:38just don't think we need to shame anyone who isn't going to
- 17:41be the one to reinvent their company through AIAI or reinvent
- 17:46themselves. But maybe it is possible.
- 17:48And that is why I think we should pause and bring on our
- 17:52guest Julie, because I know she has a great point of view of
- 17:55leadership and leading through the age of AI.
- 17:59And I'm curious about it because it looks pretty damn tough.
- 18:05So let's bring Julie on. Let's.
- 18:07Bring her on. Hi, Julie.
- 18:12Everyone is looking for an advantage in their marketing
- 18:14that they can digest in a clear, fun format.
- 18:18Well, there's one podcast I want to tell you about that's
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- 18:23Waiting and it's for business leaders who are done with
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- 18:56Clay, that's return on investment.
- 18:58So if you're leading a business and you want to grow, go
- 19:02subscribe to Your Audience's Waiting wherever you listen to
- 19:05podcasts. Nice to see.
- 19:12You it's great to see you too. Thank you so much for.
- 19:14Being here, did you enjoy our getting ready?
- 19:17Oh my gosh, all I'm thinking about is the tanning bed smell.
- 19:21Yes. Right.
- 19:22Did you get? Do you remember the smell?
- 19:24Prom. I remember it like it was
- 19:26yesterday. And you had to figure out when
- 19:30you were going to go tanning so that you could like let that
- 19:32smell wear off, shower, put other lotion on that's.
- 19:35Real, real big. Yes, yeah.
- 19:38Oh, did you remember? Trying to lotion over the smell
- 19:41like like if you didn't have time for the shower.
- 19:44Yeah, and we then go on to the whole next idea of like self
- 19:47tanning cream, which also has a smell.
- 19:50Yeah, it does. It does I.
- 19:52Wonder what it is that makes it smell so it's.
- 19:55Probably banned. It is some not safe chemical
- 20:00that's you know. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty nasty,
- 20:04but worth it 'cause I 'cause we look so good though.
- 20:07That's all that matters. That's the that's the other
- 20:10thing is we didn't like it did. A little bit orange.
- 20:15Yes, like so unhealthy. I don't know why.
- 20:19Anyway, brainwashed. I guess so.
- 20:22OK, So what do you think, Julie? What was your response to
- 20:25Blakely's LinkedIn question here?
- 20:28Is that? My response to that is I believe
- 20:33in anybody who's willing to have resilience, and I think
- 20:37resilience can look different to everybody.
- 20:39And I don't think it's anybody's business to tell anybody else
- 20:43what their resilience should look like.
- 20:45So whether it's in quotes quitting, or whether it's
- 20:48changing directions or it's doubling down or whatever, it's
- 20:51our one life and let's do what we want and what seems like the
- 20:54right thing. There's no there's no room for
- 20:57shaming other people. I agree and you know, I want to
- 21:00get into you talk a lot about self motivation and I want to
- 21:03get into that, but like it. If that were my company, I'd be
- 21:07looking at it and say, OK, well, here's the deal.
- 21:09I could stay in business at 200 ARR and then I could do like a
- 21:13bolt on AI thing to try to still seem relevant.
- 21:16But the truth is those companies are going to be even worse
- 21:20situations because you're competing against other people
- 21:22who are starting with AI native ground up that are always going
- 21:25to iterate faster than trying to push an old product into AI,
- 21:30vice versa. So the motivation that it would
- 21:33take to do that would be intense and you'd really have to check
- 21:37in with yourself and know whether that's, you know, going
- 21:40to be possible. So that's one thing.
- 21:42If you're the the founder, the CEO and you have that
- 21:44flexibility to walk away, right? What do you do if you are the
- 21:50COO or the VP of whatever and you're in a situation where now
- 21:55the CEO is deciding to stay but kind of going the other way?
- 21:58How do you how do you navigate gearing up and getting motivated
- 22:03to do something that you might not necessarily believe in?
- 22:06Oh, it's so good, right? Because we all know the people.
- 22:09We all know the people. And we've been these people too
- 22:11who are like, I can struggle through anything.
- 22:15Yeah. And that's OK for like a short
- 22:17term solution. But that is not the way to do a
- 22:20life, right? And talking to ourselves is a
- 22:24lot of how we do the self motivation.
- 22:25But if we're trying to motivate somebody else, we can tell
- 22:29stories just like it's already happening here, right?
- 22:33The tanning bed. And I can see, I can see the
- 22:35place that I used to go. I mean, telling stories, that's
- 22:39what people care about. It gets them to feel.
- 22:42They say that, that the idea with storytelling is getting
- 22:46people not to not flatline, but to actually feel.
- 22:48And when we feel we're apparently 261 times more
- 22:52compelled to action. Really.
- 22:55So, OK, just being a good storyteller isn't good just for
- 22:58like, around the dinner table, but you're saying at in the
- 23:01boardroom that being a powerful storyteller can actually elicit
- 23:05action. Exactly.
- 23:06Now here's the thing though, there's a lot of terrible ways
- 23:08to tell stories. And I I grew up thinking I hated
- 23:11stories, honestly. Really.
- 23:13So you grew up under 2 bad storytellers?
- 23:15Sounds like oh is that like long winded drawn on?
- 23:20Exactly. You must know.
- 23:22You must know the people I know. No, just kidding.
- 23:25Yeah, I think she does. Actually.
- 23:27That's the long winded hostage taking.
- 23:30Like when I was young, I was polite, I was nice, I would
- 23:33smile and nod and inside I'd be thinking where is the nearest
- 23:38fork for me to like, gauge out my.
- 23:40Eye, but I they're like, oh, she was really enjoying it.
- 23:44Exactly. And I thought, what can I do?
- 23:47I need to feign my own death and because are.
- 23:52These your parents you're talking about?
- 23:54Don't. Make her out.
- 23:56But now, And the second answer is I will never divulge who I'm
- 23:59talking about. No need to throw anyone under
- 24:02the bus. However, there might grandpa
- 24:04relation. There might be some.
- 24:07Sorry, Grandpa. They know who they are.
- 24:09Probably not. Okay, so.
- 24:12And now I recognize in all the training that I do or when I'm
- 24:16working with folks who could use a little dose of motivation,
- 24:20when I can do two different kinds of stories.
- 24:22One, it's the stories that humanize the challenge where I'm
- 24:26like, here's how I sucked too, or here's how it was really hard
- 24:31for me too. Like if someone was not knowing
- 24:37how to prioritize, like if I was having a corrective conversation
- 24:40with them about like they needed to prioritize things better,
- 24:43which seems to be a common conversation at work.
- 24:45I might whip out the story of when I was getting to give the
- 24:52motivational speech, the motivational talk at a
- 24:55graduation. And there's all the graduates
- 24:57and they've walked in and they're sitting down and I've
- 25:00worked really hard on my speech and I'm going to, like, change
- 25:02their lives. And I've got the twinkle in my
- 25:04eye and there's 1000 people in front of me.
- 25:07And I start, you know, I grip the mic just like this.
- 25:10And I look just like this. And I start talking 10 seconds
- 25:13in. One of my colleagues on the
- 25:15stage behind me, I was the Dean of education at the time and I
- 25:19think she was the executive director.
- 25:20She said, and we all know like, what means.
- 25:25And I was like, I am kind of busy here.
- 25:28But I slowly looked around, like to look at her and she did this
- 25:32motion and it was like taking her hand from like eye level
- 25:36down to her shoulders. And I thought, I have no idea
- 25:40what that body language is. What are you doing?
- 25:42So I turned back around, tried to get back in my groove,
- 25:45started talking again. 10 seconds later, she was like
- 25:47Julie. And I was like, this is
- 25:49ridiculous. And then she said she actually
- 25:52used words and she said you may all be seated.
- 25:57Oh, everyone was still standing. I did like the slow lookout into
- 26:02the audience and I was like, there are 1000 bits of
- 26:07information standing quite literally in front of me giving
- 26:11me information that I am totally not seeing.
- 26:14And so right. And then I was able to try and
- 26:16make it kind of me, like, you may all be seated.
- 26:18And they all collectively sighed.
- 26:20And I was like, Oh my gosh. And I tried to say like, you
- 26:22thought I'd make you stand there all day.
- 26:24And they all laughed but kind of were like, thank God she's
- 26:27studying. Me right, like see gosh, she's
- 26:29got that yeah. OK, so this, that was a great
- 26:31story. Thank you.
- 26:33So I want to hear, I want to break that story down and I'm
- 26:36going to get into what are the elements of a good story because
- 26:39I could tell when you were transitioning from us just kind
- 26:42of having this conversation and we're hypothesizing about XYZ
- 26:46and then it transitioned into your, your voice kind of she's
- 26:49like, I want to hear why that was just because you really
- 26:52brought me in and I was really, I didn't know where it was going
- 26:55and I was excited to hear more, but I wasn't thinking about
- 26:58myself. I wasn't checking the time.
- 26:59I wasn't, I was actually engaged.
- 27:01So I want to hear what you did there.
- 27:03Well, actually, I love hearing that feedback because we all of
- 27:07us know that if we are going to sit down and have a meeting,
- 27:11like if someone's like, oh, here, join one more meeting, put
- 27:13another meeting on your calendar.
- 27:15There are very few people who are like, yay, It's more like,
- 27:18oh, what do I have to do now? And so there's a difference even
- 27:24if we start a story with a meeting.
- 27:27But again, these important parameters matter because we
- 27:30want to get people to feel. We want to inspire to action.
- 27:32People won't always pick up what we're putting down.
- 27:36But OK, here are the components. First of all, I want to say what
- 27:40we don't have to do. We as leaders don't need to go
- 27:43out there and study the craft of storytelling because if we do
- 27:48that, we never will. And then we'll never tell
- 27:50stories. Or we'll tell us.
- 27:52We'll tell them. Thank you for that.
- 27:54Yeah, that was a nice. That's a relief.
- 27:56That's good. Exactly.
- 27:58Like what's the beginning, the middle, and the end?
- 28:00That's exhausting and it feels really too academic.
- 28:03But I want to share with you this model because it's an
- 28:07acronym that we can remember. It's rest, REST.
- 28:11And these are just the four things to keep in mind.
- 28:13So the first is, it might seem simple, but it's not.
- 28:18The first is it should relate to what the person in front of you
- 28:22is actually interested in. Not this whole I would like to
- 28:25take up airspace, or I just remembered something or this is
- 28:29the worst one. You just told a story about you,
- 28:32so now I want to tell a story about me.
- 28:34Oh man, that one drives me crazy.
- 28:36Right there. Felt that, yeah.
- 28:40Oh my God, there was this time when I I'm just kidding.
- 28:43Exactly. I'm like, Oh my gosh, does she
- 28:45know she's doing? Just like that.
- 28:47Don't. Scare us like that.
- 28:49I'm sure I do do it all the time, but anyway, OK.
- 28:51Well, and it and another thing for us to remember another
- 28:54acronym is wait, which is why am I talking?
- 28:59Just. Stop and consider talking.
- 29:01Oh, that one is good. Good.
- 29:03Right. Good.
- 29:04So for for us to consider that if I'm just trying to take up
- 29:07airspace or feel special, just stop.
- 29:09So you want to relate. The second is can we engage?
- 29:13Now this sounds so simple. When I was the Dean of education
- 29:18and I was working at this small college, I would get one time a
- 29:23month to have a faculty meeting and I had 1/2 an hour with all
- 29:27the faculty and I can pack an agenda.
- 29:31I'm like a hard charger. I want to get through all the
- 29:33important things. There was like no time for
- 29:35hellos. And there are always these two
- 29:38people who would try and raise their hand and one person would
- 29:42be like, I wonder if we could do it this way or someone else
- 29:46would be like, I don't know if that's a good idea.
- 29:48And I thought, don't you know, decisions have already been
- 29:52made. We've got a plan.
- 29:53Just get on board. Aren't you a team player?
- 29:56And The thing is, is that I prided myself on how I taught in
- 30:01the classroom. I had classes like introduction
- 30:05to motivation or communication styles and and so I knew a thing
- 30:12or two about communication. I felt like I engaged the
- 30:14students so well. I forgot that that was a
- 30:17transferable skill that I could bring into my meetings.
- 30:21Those 4 poor folks who like suffered through my meetings
- 30:24where I thought the best meetings were when nobody was
- 30:27talking except for me. So terrible.
- 30:30So the second is, can we engage even if it's like, can anyone
- 30:35relate to that and just ask people to raise their hand or
- 30:39have you experienced this before?
- 30:41So you're getting a nod or an uh huh or a no, you don't have to
- 30:45turn over the floor because if you're trying to tell a story,
- 30:49you don't want to do that. You want to keep it, but somehow
- 30:52be engaging with your audience. So that's to engage.
- 30:56The third is probably my favorite one, which is keep it
- 30:59short. It's so simple.
- 31:03So 5 minutes or less, 3 minutes or even is even better even it
- 31:07can be a 22nd story, which we want to be clear what we're
- 31:10talking about by storytelling, we're talking about our own real
- 31:14lived experience. So right, it might be this
- 31:19morning. Here's the thing that happened
- 31:21or yesterday when I did this. I don't know something that's
- 31:26that's relevant. I just had a chance to have
- 31:29coffee with Robert Chaldini, who's one of my acts.
- 31:33Oh my gosh. That's cool.
- 31:35He's my. Gurus.
- 31:36He wrote the first book that I actually took notes on, like in
- 31:41a Word document, his book on he's the like the godfather of
- 31:44influence, right? And and so I got to sit down in
- 31:48Phoenix, AZ with him at a coffee shop.
- 31:51He ordered a small mint tea, which I thought, oh, that's
- 31:56something unique, sweet and peculiar.
- 31:58And I got to ask him all about storytelling because he's, you
- 32:01know, all about influence. And he said 3 minutes or shorter
- 32:06and introduce mystery, Like somehow get people to something
- 32:12where you're making them. Hungry.
- 32:13Be on their edge, like, like you did.
- 32:15Like, what does this mean and the like, right.
- 32:19That's all mystery, yeah. That was that was like leaning
- 32:21in. What was that?
- 32:22What I'm like, does she honestly?
- 32:25I honestly was like, did your pants fall down and you didn't
- 32:28know? Like I'm like my mind is going
- 32:30like. Did your is your bra hook?
- 32:32Right. Like is you showing cleavage?
- 32:34Probably. What does it mean?
- 32:36Yeah. Yeah.
- 32:38So keep it short, right? Keep it short and somehow be
- 32:41interesting. There's this quote who's it's
- 32:44sometimes attributed to Mark Twain, which is, I'm sorry, I
- 32:47didn't have the time to write you a shorter letter.
- 32:51So it's right like make it powerful.
- 32:54The last one. The last one then is the theme.
- 32:58What's the point? What's the actual like, why are
- 33:02you telling it? What's the moral of the story?
- 33:04What's the lesson you're hoping that they get?
- 33:07I would tell that graduation story if someone was struggling
- 33:10to see the right priorities and for me to say, look, I didn't
- 33:13even see that it was a priority. 1000 bits of information right
- 33:16in front of me. So I've been there too.
- 33:19So now I have the confidence that you can turn this around.
- 33:21Let's help you figure out how to how to prioritize better.
- 33:25And so we want to think about what's the theme, if there's a
- 33:29lot of themes that can be helpful in the workplace, right?
- 33:35Resilience, right? Like we were what we were
- 33:38starting to talk about. Here's a time that I struggled
- 33:40to bounce back or bounce forward and then I was able to, it could
- 33:45be about self-confidence. It could be about when we have
- 33:50change in front of us and change looks hard or it looks unknown
- 33:55in front of us, but we've been here before and we can do this.
- 33:58And so it could be a story about any of that.
- 34:01The point when you bring it home, if you have already told
- 34:06them through a story and you kind of brought them along that
- 34:08they're going to remember that forever versus just one
- 34:11conversation where you drop it in and it makes sense.
- 34:13And that's a good point. Are they going to remember it?
- 34:15They're going to remember the story, that visual of all of
- 34:18those people standing there. I've one more quick question, of
- 34:21course, question on the short piece of it because I struggle
- 34:26with that painfully. What very long are the?
- 34:30Details I am, but it's because I'm so excited or I want you to
- 34:34know everything that's in my head and I want to get it out
- 34:36right and. So.
- 34:37I I struggle with which details to include and which ones to
- 34:42leave out because I that details running through my head and I'm
- 34:45like is this relevant? Is it not like the tanning coat?
- 34:48So I told the story of the tanning bed.
- 34:50My story was about how this chick fell out in the waiting
- 34:53room. The tanning coat had nothing to
- 34:55do with that story. It just.
- 34:57Popped in my head a story of my opinion.
- 34:59The tanning coat, I just never know, like, what to leave in and
- 35:05what to get out. And then sometimes you can see
- 35:07people's faces for that. You're like losing them.
- 35:09They're like, OK, where is this going?
- 35:13That's the most important piece because quite frankly, if you
- 35:16haven't told this story before, it's a shitty first draft,
- 35:20right? You're like testing it and.
- 35:22We all well. No, yours was not.
- 35:25No, it was. It's fine.
- 35:28But don't forget the camera. We were telling it for the first
- 35:30time. We're like that.
- 35:31Was AD minus. We learned.
- 35:34We learned and so it's practice. Once you've told it the first
- 35:39time, next time you're going to be like, I know what to put in
- 35:42and what to take out. The other thing is that you read
- 35:45your audience. So if you're starting to lose
- 35:47someone and you have the idea that short is better, you're
- 35:51going to quickly figure out how to transition.
- 35:54So I think it's just it's, it's that.
- 35:57Got it? And what if you're married to
- 35:58someone who likes to interrupt your stories to bring attention
- 36:01back on himself? Are you talking to Scott?
- 36:04Hypothetically. Hypothetically, so that's.
- 36:07Great. I'm talking about Nick.
- 36:09He calls it color commentary. I'm like, keep it to yourself.
- 36:13I'll color my own commentary. That's interesting.
- 36:16Well, I think that starts getting into communication
- 36:19styles because there's this concept of dynamic conversation.
- 36:22Have you heard this? No, no.
- 36:25Well, it's what you both are really good at with a podcast is
- 36:29if someone's talking, someone else interjects, which is
- 36:32intended to add because it's about the excitement.
- 36:35Yeah, but some folks. Don't worry about.
- 36:40Your name or introvert? Extrovert.
- 36:41It's like I'm supposed to talk and then it's your turn and when
- 36:44you're done then it's my. Turn.
- 36:46So this could be a little bit of that.
- 36:49OK. All right, good.
- 36:51We're going to work on it. That's your homework, OK,
- 36:55Marriage. Council earlier, earlier you
- 36:58gave us permission to not go out and like read the book on
- 37:01storytelling, right? We just need to know rest, REST.
- 37:06My question is, and I know this comes up a lot, so Clay,
- 37:09Heather, you're kind of like bored of it.
- 37:12I have a memory problem. It's a real thing.
- 37:16So sometimes I want to tell a story, but I don't really have
- 37:20any stories in the story bank. Are you are the A, are there
- 37:23tricks for that? B, are you like journaling these
- 37:26down and then tagging them like resilience?
- 37:31Great change. I love you.
- 37:34You're so fucking operational. I love how your brain works.
- 37:37No, I love you. It's a gift.
- 37:39I love that you're trying to put tabs on your stories that don't
- 37:42exist yet. It's really cute.
- 37:45Stories are there but like do I need to see a hip Rolodex?
- 37:51Well, good question is, is that I think you are exactly right on
- 37:54track. So so here's what I have the the
- 37:58benefit of getting to tell a lot of stories.
- 38:01And one of the most important things I think about
- 38:03storytelling is not to let people know that this is the
- 38:0617th time you've told it. It's not like when I tell this
- 38:11story, this is what I always say, ignore that.
- 38:13Like this is the first time I'm ever telling this.
- 38:17And so honestly, you just have to figure out what the story is
- 38:22first. And then that's so funny that
- 38:24you use the term story bank because in my book Beyond Words,
- 38:28which is about storytelling and and about how to utilize that in
- 38:32leadership, it says create a story bank exactly with what
- 38:36you've said. Great.
- 38:38A class, yeah. A+ story Bank.
- 38:43Because honestly, I'm I'm the same.
- 38:45I don't think there's anything wrong with you, your memory.
- 38:47I think you're so present that it's hard to think of the past
- 38:50in the moment. For example, here's even this
- 38:53SO. That is a nice reframe.
- 38:55Well, it's true that. It's true.
- 38:58Yeah. When So I teach, I do a lot of
- 39:00team building activities, right. Some people love those things,
- 39:02some people hate them. But like games with tarps and
- 39:06balls and things and when agree, no trust falls and no kumbaya.
- 39:11But just about anything else, yeah.
- 39:14And when a group will come to me and say, OK, we want to work on
- 39:17trust, that's a comment on or we want to work on accountability
- 39:22or we want to work. On.
- 39:26We want to work on patients and I'm like, and I'm thinking as
- 39:31I'm sitting here, which team building activity would be the
- 39:34best? My mind goes blank.
- 39:36So I have to go to my my document where I've written out
- 39:39just in like weird code, like the two-minute dump.
- 39:42No one else even knows what that means, but I know what it means.
- 39:45And then there's 50 and I'm like, ah, yeah, I should do this
- 39:48one and this one. But to have them all at the
- 39:50ready in my mind, I only remember a few and it's kind of
- 39:53a disservice if I just rely on my memory.
- 39:56Yeah, OK. I can.
- 39:57There you go, blankly. I'm going to throw the burn book
- 40:01out. I'm going to replace it with the
- 40:03story. And you want to know how you
- 40:06could get started? OK.
- 40:08Yes, this is your homework and I want to hear back in a week.
- 40:12No, I'm just kidding. With my get on ready with me.
- 40:16Exactly at the end of the day, do this.
- 40:19My debris, yeah. OK, so Matthew Dicks.
- 40:22He's written a book called Story Worthy, and he has this strategy
- 40:28called Homework for Life. And it's once a day.
- 40:31And I just do it when I'm brushing my teeth because I'm
- 40:34held hostage during that time. And I really shouldn't be trying
- 40:37to make the bed or open the blinds because it ends in
- 40:40disaster. He says for, you know, 30
- 40:43seconds each day. Just think back, what was
- 40:45something somewhat noteworthy that happened today?
- 40:49Now I'm the same as you and I, well, sometimes they worry about
- 40:53my memory. And if someone was like, well,
- 40:55remember back to what you did this week, I'd be like, I don't
- 40:58remember what I did this week, but I can generally remember
- 41:00what I did today. And he.
- 41:03Says just. Keep it as a note.
- 41:05I just put it in my phone. I think he uses an Excel doc or
- 41:08something like that. And you just make a tiny note
- 41:10that the thing happened and that's then the potential seed
- 41:14for a potential story later. Because it is painful to try and
- 41:18sit there and be like, try and come up with a story about when
- 41:22I had to overcome a challenge. And like, then I started
- 41:26thinking, what challenges if I've ever faced in my life, have
- 41:28I ever done anything? I can't remember.
- 41:31Yeah, I just thinking that through.
- 41:34I bet you this technique also works really well in interviews,
- 41:37right? Like like that's the question
- 41:39you'll get. You'll have to overcome a how
- 41:42did you overcome a challenge? And if you have a story bank,
- 41:45like what a powerful way to engage someone you're
- 41:48interviewing with. I love.
- 41:49That that's so true and people the interviewers just want it's
- 41:53behavioral interviews these. Days, right?
- 41:55That's right. And so they tell me about the
- 41:57time when, yeah, if not, you'll come up with a terrible I I've
- 42:02heard such terrible stories that I'm like, that's all I could
- 42:04think of. Like blah.
- 42:06Yeah. What about intergenerational SO
- 42:10communicating one generation to another?
- 42:12Do you have any tips for people of an older generation talking
- 42:15to a younger and vice versa? Absolutely, because I don't know
- 42:24if this is a gendered thing or not, but I've had several older
- 42:28men who I, who ask for coaching, ask for coaching on this topic.
- 42:32Not necessarily for their grandkids, but for younger
- 42:35folks. They're like, I have so much
- 42:37wisdom, but when I start sharing my wisdom with the younger
- 42:41folks, they glaze over. So what do I do?
- 42:45Good for them for caring. Yeah, exactly.
- 42:48They're like, I want to be relevant.
- 42:49I want to be helpful, but I don't know.
- 42:52I don't quite know how to do it. And quite frankly, it comes back
- 42:55to the R of rest, like during the pandemic.
- 42:58My dad, who lives on the East Coast and is part of a church,
- 43:03he said, Julie, can you teach me and the other folks in this
- 43:07church, like through Zoom about how we can connect better with
- 43:10our grandkids? And I thought some kind kind
- 43:16thought. And so we did this great Zoom
- 43:19call and it was really about, well, first it's about what
- 43:22interests them. So let's talk about music.
- 43:26Let's talk about games, probably video games.
- 43:29And first you're going to ask them what they like to play and
- 43:31what they like to listen to. And then you're going to go do
- 43:33the research and you're going to go listen to that music.
- 43:36And then you're going to ask if you can sit.
- 43:37Down and then be horrified. What's that?
- 43:39This is what we did with Eminem with Daily.
- 43:41Horrifying. Yeah.
- 43:42We're getting getting her on the trail.
- 43:45Yeah. So, so start with yeah, we're
- 43:48all going to play. So did they do it?
- 43:51Did it? Did it work?
- 43:52I, I guess I didn't get the whole whole afterwards finding
- 43:57out, but I got to watch my dad with my at the time my kids were
- 44:02what, like 12 and 16? I watched him try and I thought
- 44:09it was the sweetest thing I've ever seen.
- 44:11Yeah, yeah, the clay, this. Reminds me of when your dad when
- 44:16you had Emeris and Emeris was, I don't know, 3-4 ish and he went
- 44:23out and bought a scooter. Do you remember that?
- 44:26And he he could learn to scoot. Yes, and he went and he would go
- 44:30and he rode the scooter in the bike park and stuff and he just
- 44:33wanted something to be relatable with his grandson.
- 44:36Oh. That's.
- 44:37So sweet he bought a sick scooter like this.
- 44:40Thing is. Amazing.
- 44:43It's really cool. And we did.
- 44:44We went to the skate park and we skated around and we had we
- 44:48learned to wear our helmets together and it was awesome.
- 44:52It was great. It was an amazing thing that he
- 44:54did. And he knows that's just one
- 44:56thing. He's done that in so many ways.
- 44:57But like Julie said, he goes and does the research.
- 45:00He learns about this stuff. He has a curious mind.
- 45:03So he'll ask a question and then actually go learn a little bit
- 45:07about it or listen enough to find out enough to care more
- 45:09about it. And then he can engage on stuff
- 45:12like Minecraft, dog man, scootering, all the stuff that
- 45:15emers cares about so. Yeah.
- 45:18It totally works. Totally works.
- 45:20It works and it works in the workplace too, right?
- 45:22There's so many generations in the workplace and sometimes
- 45:25that's a, a source of contention, right?
- 45:28Like how do the really seasoned folks feel valuable and get to
- 45:32impart wisdom to the folks who are not as seasoned and want to
- 45:38move at a more rapid speed? Yeah.
- 45:40And I think like, like the YC, what is that Y Combinator?
- 45:46What Y Combinator? Y Combinator Anyway, you know,
- 45:49they'll be investing in these 2020 223 year olds and they'll
- 45:54throw them, you know, $5,000,000 to, you know, launch this
- 45:57business idea. And so these guys get so cocky,
- 46:01so many of them, like you'll see him presenting.
- 46:03Last year we saw him present at Human X and they're on stage
- 46:06and, and they're just feeling so proud.
- 46:09And they're brilliant minds. Don't get me wrong, they really
- 46:12are, but they're lacking what I've talked to.
- 46:14When you talk to these folks, these other VCs and PE firms,
- 46:19one thing they don't love about the YC is that they're missed.
- 46:23They've never built a business. They don't understand the grind
- 46:26of it and everything. They just take so much for
- 46:28granted. And I think the younger
- 46:31generation looking at older generation, especially in tech
- 46:35is tough because they just don't have the respect, frankly, of
- 46:39understanding what that older generation has kind of been
- 46:43through and learned because they do, myself included, come off
- 46:46like, oh, I didn't know the excels could do that, The
- 46:49spreadsheet could move that or, you know, whatever.
- 46:51Like it's and they're just quicker and they have these
- 46:53types of skills. And it comes off like the older
- 46:55person doesn't get it or is an inept or is too slow to move
- 46:58along with the times. And it just skips over all of
- 47:01that wisdom and knowledge, and it's not valued enough in our
- 47:04world, especially if they're not like the CEO, right?
- 47:07If it's just a middle level manager who's 55 years old,
- 47:11they're kind of overlooked. That's true.
- 47:14And it and it takes us back to emotional intelligence for any
- 47:17generation, for any way that we're different from people.
- 47:20And all of us know that, that the beauty of the way to create
- 47:24a strong team is to have folks who aren't all the same.
- 47:28But it starts with, if we're looking at the emotional
- 47:30intelligence model, it starts with having self-awareness.
- 47:33What are my strengths? What am I and growth areas and
- 47:36it moves into how do I make choices?
- 47:39How do I regulate right when I'm when I might be feeling
- 47:42impatient or I'm wanting to move at the speed of lightning and,
- 47:46and have heads roll in between, I don't know, like, and then it
- 47:51moves to self motivation. And then there's an empathy
- 47:53piece. And then there's social
- 47:54relationships, all the five levels.
- 47:56If we can't do that, we there's that old African proverb, if you
- 48:00want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go
- 48:03together. Oh yeah, that's a good one.
- 48:06That's important. Yeah.
- 48:08So how what? What advice would you give to a
- 48:11younger generation working with an older generation?
- 48:14How to communicate and tell stories?
- 48:16When we're telling stories, I think the intent in the
- 48:19workplace and in a lot of places, but if we're talking
- 48:21about the workplace is to influence and to connect.
- 48:25Right. They like progress.
- 48:27They've lived their life trying to achieve it.
- 48:29Have you? Heard of reverse mentoring.
- 48:32So I think this concept can be really helpful when there's
- 48:36generations who were in the classrooms of the industry in at
- 48:40really different times. So reverse mentor.
- 48:43Well, first, this is my favorite, one of my favorite
- 48:46quotes. They say if you're over 40, you
- 48:49should have a mentor who's 25 years old or younger.
- 48:53That's nice. Yeah.
- 48:53I have two of those, Kate and Jake, my children.
- 48:56Yeah. Right, right, right.
- 48:58This reminds me of that movie The Intern.
- 49:00I love that movie with Robert De Niro and Anne Hathaway.
- 49:04Exactly. Love it.
- 49:05Right, right. And so that's what reverse
- 49:08mentorship is. But if we call this reverse plus
- 49:11mentorship, it's a really great tool that that leaders and
- 49:16organizations can have. Whereas there's someone who's
- 49:19really seasoned and there's someone who's less seasoned, but
- 49:22the the person who's more seasoned, there's a two way
- 49:24exchange so the seasoned leader can share.
- 49:28Here's here's our decision logic.
- 49:30Here's our customer history. Here are the land mines we've
- 49:33already stepped on and and the younger can person can do.
- 49:38Here's how we might use AI. Here's how we increase
- 49:44efficiency. Here's how we cut out
- 49:49traditional ways that are no longer helpful.
- 49:51And so there's a mutual respect. What do you think about that?
- 49:57I love that. I would love it if like for
- 50:00every decision or project that comes up, if you were tasked
- 50:06younger generation and older generation with basically like
- 50:10the pro con, like what you just said.
- 50:13Like what if it was your job as an elder in the organization to
- 50:17say all the land mines and then come around and be like, and
- 50:21this is how I would do it, right?
- 50:23And just like let them think on both sides of their brain and
- 50:25then have the young dude. You know what happens.
- 50:28You know what happens if you don't do this?
- 50:30If you make an older person, an organization, feel irrelevant,
- 50:34feel like they don't understand or there doesn't count anymore,
- 50:37they know damn well you're heading down the path.
- 50:39Yes. They do.
- 50:40They know. And they're like, OK, really OK.
- 50:43You know, OK, yeah, you should try that.
- 50:44Oh, never thought of that. And that.
- 50:47And they're just sit back and laugh and they, you know, they
- 50:50collect a paycheck. They're disengaged and they're
- 50:52just, they don't feel respected. So they're like, why am I going
- 50:54to go out of my way to help you? You don't have, you don't care
- 50:57what I think anyway. And then then you have a single
- 51:00company learning the same lessons over and over again
- 51:03because they're not collaborating.
- 51:05Yeah, yeah. This has been incredible.
- 51:08A few things that stuck with me is we we covered so much today,
- 51:12but I love the goal of a story is to influence and connect.
- 51:18And that human necessity that we have to rely on right now across
- 51:23generations, across borders, as one human to another, to
- 51:28influence and connect is more important than ever.
- 51:32I love the idea of doing that through story and it's
- 51:37interesting and it's memorable. And there's probably going to be
- 51:40a laugh or there's going to be a moment of reflection in a story.
- 51:44So I think, I think, I think humans might have a chance.
- 51:47Here is what I'm saying. Yeah, I think I think we might
- 51:51beat the bots if we can learn how to talk to each other
- 51:53through story and relate to each other, engage.
- 51:58Keep it short, Heather. Keep it short and have a theme
- 52:01to tie it all in together. It's it's going to spread.
- 52:05And we were seeing that all over.
- 52:07So thank you so much. I really appreciate it.
- 52:09Before we let you go, we want to ask you a question we do ask of
- 52:12all of our guests and we ask ourselves as well, which is what
- 52:16brought a smile to your face this week.
- 52:19What brother? You could think Clay Blakely if
- 52:22you guys want to jump in first, if you.
- 52:23I've got 1. Good.
- 52:25Let's go, Clay, Let's go. Clay.
- 52:27It better be a good story, though.
- 52:29We're going to be. Under 3 minutes please.
- 52:31OK. Keep it short.
- 52:32Under 1, yeah. This past weekend, I had a
- 52:36little birthday party and people were kind of filing in, and we
- 52:40ended up in this little vault in the back of this old building.
- 52:44And it's kind of this like heavy door that like, don't shut it,
- 52:48you might get locked in. But it was kind of like a cozy
- 52:51little atmosphere. And my sister Chelsea came and
- 52:56we were talking and her and her husband shared that Chelsea is
- 53:00expecting her again. Yeah.
- 53:02So I have a new family member coming later this year.
- 53:06I'm very excited. Oh.
- 53:07My. Gosh, yeah.
- 53:09Are you allowed to say that? I texted her like about 30
- 53:12minutes ago and asked if it was OK.
- 53:14OK, yeah, made my. Smile the week.
- 53:17Oh, because because Jesse does craft cocktails, he's very good
- 53:21at it. And so I know Chelsea enjoys 1.
- 53:22So what did you notice? Because she wasn't having a
- 53:24cocktail. OK, it was so sneaky because she
- 53:29so we're locked in the back, not in the vault, actually locked,
- 53:32but we're basically really far back.
- 53:33She goes to the bar and before she comes in it's because we
- 53:37didn't see her come in and she ordered something so she had a
- 53:40drink with her when she came into the back.
- 53:42But it was. Smart girl.
- 53:44It was a non alcoholic drink so she had.
- 53:47I have tears in my eyes. Okay, congratulations that.
- 53:52Was a nice little birthday treat.
- 53:54Nice. Quick question, did you get any
- 53:57subscribers? You had a quota, you were going
- 54:01to get subscribers at the party and take a video of that
- 54:04happening, didn't happen. OK, well, good to see your
- 54:07priorities there. Fired.
- 54:08Straight, we had a conversation about that.
- 54:11That's crazy. All right, is this project worth
- 54:13doing? What?
- 54:14What are the questions again? I what?
- 54:18How much time is this going to take?
- 54:19I think I remember another one which is why am I talking.
- 54:23That was another. Really good one, all right,
- 54:28Blakely. I can't remember, did I tell you
- 54:32guys the story about the van that we're getting?
- 54:36The Story Bank Check your story bank real quick.
- 54:38I know, that's what I'm saying. I don't remember if I've told
- 54:41stories, but I told you the story about what we've named the
- 54:43van. You told me, but I don't know if
- 54:45you told Clay did. I tell you, Clay, OK, I just
- 54:48make sure I didn't tell like the podcast.
- 54:49Like, that would be a dumb story to tell twice.
- 54:53My smile of the week is we're going on vacation next week,
- 54:55which we have not done in a long time.
- 54:57It's just my husband and I for a full week.
- 55:00No kids, no dogs. It's so exciting.
- 55:02And we're going out to California to pick up a van that
- 55:07we had built out, getting ready for empty nesting.
- 55:10And we name all of our cars. So all of our cars have names.
- 55:15And when we're thinking of a name for this car, it's blue.
- 55:19It's made out of steel, I think, right?
- 55:21Our cars. So we named it Blue Steel.
- 55:25And you think that would have been because Heather got it,
- 55:30because it's a Blue Steel van. But my husband, he's gonna love
- 55:35being outed. He has this thing where every
- 55:39time, I'm not joking, every time he goes past a mirror, he goes.
- 55:46Like, like, he pops his cheekbones a little bit.
- 55:49He has everything like after he brushes his teeth, he's like,
- 55:54just like Zoolander. Is it right with Zoolander Blue
- 55:57Steel? Yeah, Magnum blue steel.
- 55:59So when he was like thinking about like, oh, yeah, we could
- 56:03band that blue steel. That sounds like a good name.
- 56:05The kids were like dying laughing.
- 56:08Like, Dad, that's you. You're blue steel.
- 56:11But anyway, to bring it all full circle, he had special mugs for
- 56:15us made. Love this so much.
- 56:18Let's see it. Let's see.
- 56:19And it's. Our family all.
- 56:22Doing the blue steel, we're going to have to put a picture
- 56:26in the show notes so you can see it more clearly.
- 56:28Good. So it's all pretty.
- 56:31It's all of you on the mug. They're all.
- 56:33Doing. They're all doing.
- 56:35We're all doing the blue steel, Yeah, which like the kids and I,
- 56:40we do not go around looking at ourselves in blue steel.
- 56:42That's just a Scottism. But I love that he like, made
- 56:47mugs. That's so cool.
- 56:48For our trip. It's so good we're.
- 56:51Going to have so much fun so. I wonder if he does that in his
- 56:54bedroom by himself if he like posts in front of the mirror and
- 56:57makes. I catch them all all the time.
- 56:59Did he want to be a model and it never happened?
- 57:01He doesn't know he's doing it. It's like a tick.
- 57:04It truly is. I don't believe that.
- 57:05I don't know. All right, I love it.
- 57:08I love it. I love it, Julie.
- 57:10OK, I got 1. So this was just today because,
- 57:13right, I can remember the stories of today, but you asked
- 57:16me back the whole week. OK, so I was having a meeting
- 57:21right here in my office and my I have a dog that's a giant dog
- 57:26and his name is Frank. And this morning I was like, oh,
- 57:30let me just let Frank be in here in the office with me as I'm
- 57:33doing some back office stuff. Like Frank needs some love.
- 57:35I should be a little less rigid and whatever.
- 57:38So then I was just about to have a meeting with the
- 57:41Superintendent of schools. So a Zoom meeting where I'm
- 57:44trying to do the like, OK, got to be professional, got to be
- 57:47ready. Got to be like relational, but
- 57:49also like, seem like I know my stuff.
- 57:51And I close my door real quick just to make sure we're all
- 57:54ready. And we start talking.
- 57:57And I can see right here behind my chair, a tail.
- 58:01And I was like, Frank is in the room.
- 58:07And it's. Sounds so simple, but but I was
- 58:10like, OK, maybe he'll just stay back there.
- 58:11But no, Frank has a big personality.
- 58:13He's 3. And he then all of a sudden got
- 58:16excited about something, came up and brought his giant head up
- 58:19here beside me. And I thought I could either
- 58:21come totally clean and be like, I didn't know my dog was in
- 58:24here. And then I kind of sound like an
- 58:26idiot or I could be like, I'm just testing out.
- 58:29This is what I said. I'm just testing out having the
- 58:31dog in here today to like see if he can hang and, and so I like
- 58:36lied in the moment about something that didn't even
- 58:38matter, but that's where I went to.
- 58:40And so it was fun. It's OK.
- 58:43I'm just testing it. Just testing it.
- 58:46That's fantastic. That's good though.
- 58:48OK, that relates to episode we did.
- 58:50Would you like, do you call out an embarrassing moment or not?
- 58:52And so you did. Oh, that's right, that's right.
- 58:54I love it. Good one.
- 58:56OK, so mine was finally went to Casa Bonita for Nick's birthday,
- 59:02Nick's birthday and we we had a great time and what?
- 59:08Is it the staglomites are good? Yeah, like, like.
- 59:12No, I already, I already took that picture.
- 59:13This isn't actually, this is a nicer 1.
- 59:16And so we took the kids. The first time we went, it was
- 59:18an adult trip to Casa Bonita to check it out.
- 59:20OK, that's when we did the stalagmites.
- 59:22The mighty ones are from the ground.
- 59:26We did the little museum on the way out and they have this
- 59:28little guy, this little horse rider thing like where you put
- 59:33the penny in, you ride on the. Sandy at Meyer.
- 59:37Horse. Yes, like Sandy at Meyer, yes.
- 59:40Clay. So guys, I touched this thing
- 59:44and it I was three years old again.
- 59:46I mean, it brought me back like I remember trying to hang out.
- 59:50I had a little dress because we only went like it was a big deal
- 59:52to go like once a year. You got all dressed up.
- 59:55And I my little hands like trying to hold on to the slick
- 59:57white main, like the plastic main and getting a little scared
- 1:00:01but also having so much fun. And I just got transported back
- 1:00:03to that moment so. That's so cool.
- 1:00:06Shout out to the South Park dudes for keeping it nostalgic.
- 1:00:11Like keeping that thing. It doesn't work anymore, but
- 1:00:13they have it there because people like me are going to go
- 1:00:15there and have that moment. It was really special, so.
- 1:00:17That is awesome. Yeah, shout out to those guys
- 1:00:20for sure. Good time.
- 1:00:21I had three sopapillas just getting ready for the pip for
- 1:00:24the bump. That's good.
- 1:00:27All right. Well, thank you so much, Julie.
- 1:00:29Oh. Yes, play always asks one final,
- 1:00:31final question. Oh, what is that?
- 1:00:33One final question for you, Julie, is where can people stay
- 1:00:37in contact with you? Where can people connect with
- 1:00:39you, see what you're doing, get involved?
- 1:00:42I would love for people to stay connected.
- 1:00:45So we've got a website whichislancasterleadership.com,
- 1:00:50but there's no DLINCASTER leadership.com and that's where
- 1:00:55people can find out about doing leadership academies, doing
- 1:00:58group coaching for their leadership teams, one-on-one
- 1:01:01coaching retreats, strategic planning.
- 1:01:04We've got a lot of exciting things happening, just
- 1:01:06supporting people in living their most intentional and best
- 1:01:10lives, where they have both productivity and.
- 1:01:14Love it and the name of your book is.
- 1:01:17Beyond words. And it's right back here, which
- 1:01:22is how our stories and strategies inspire leadership
- 1:01:25action. Love it.
- 1:01:28Awesome. Thank you so much for being
- 1:01:30here, Julie. Thank you, Julie.
- 1:01:32Good luck. Yay.
- 1:01:35All right. Till next time, see you next
- 1:01:37time.