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Herbs, Spices and Bribery · No One Gets Hurt

0:00
SPEAKER_01: It's funny thinking about finger smashing.
0:02
SPEAKER_03: One one thing that listen up and no one gets hurt.
0:12
SPEAKER_01: This is a podcast that focuses on crimes and scams where no one physically is harmed.
0:17
SPEAKER_01: This is a podcast for information and internet focuses on nothing in this podcast should be taken as legal advice.
0:24
SPEAKER_03: So listen up and no one gets hurt.
0:27
SPEAKER_03: You already said that.
0:28
SPEAKER_03: Alright, well, don't forget to like and subscribe and in the comments tell us which game you'd like us to cover.
0:35
SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to another episode of No One Gets Hurt Pod.
0:38
SPEAKER_01: Today we have with us someone who is performing all over the place in Southern California with some heavy hitters, Mr.
0:46
SPEAKER_01: Tyler Gooch.
0:47
SPEAKER_03: The motherfucking Gooch, man.
0:49
SPEAKER_07: That's right.
0:49
SPEAKER_07: Thank you for having me.
0:50
SPEAKER_07: And all I had to do was send a$4,000 Western Union to go to the podcast.
0:55
SPEAKER_01: That's a good deal.
0:56
SPEAKER_03: You'll get it back tenfold.
0:58
SPEAKER_03: That's what you guys promised me.
1:00
SPEAKER_01: And what you don't know is we're actually draining our bank banking out as we talk.
1:03
SPEAKER_07: So I didn't know why you guys needed my routing number and stuff, but uh we had to get a new casting couch.
1:12
SPEAKER_03: It cost us$4,000.
1:15
SPEAKER_07: You guys might have gotten scammed.
1:17
SPEAKER_03: This is$2,200 at the most.
1:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:24
SPEAKER_01: No, it's I think this is pretty solid stuff here.
1:26
SPEAKER_01: I like it.
1:27
unknown: $150.
1:29
SPEAKER_06: $150.
1:31
SPEAKER_03: We gotta get James a mic, dude.
1:33
SPEAKER_01: I'm keep saying it until we're gonna be able to do it when David will be interviewed for us.
1:37
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
1:38
SPEAKER_01: Um, so we were talking before we went on.
1:41
SPEAKER_01: Uh you were doing a show recently with some pretty impressive names.
1:44
SPEAKER_07: You you want to share a little bit or uh I mean they were impressive names, and I was also on it.
1:50
SPEAKER_07: And so that was it's always the hardest part of comedy, is everybody else.
1:55
SPEAKER_07: They say, How do you want to be introduced?
1:56
SPEAKER_07: And say, ah, say I was on Conan or I was on SNL for 15 years, and I'm like, I was at uh Noble Ale's uh open mic last weekend.
2:07
SPEAKER_07: If you want to mention that, I don't know.
2:09
SPEAKER_01: I think you could say that you were a this cop brought to you by C O P D.
2:18
SPEAKER_01: Um I think you could say like you were a writer on and no one would know, right?
2:21
SPEAKER_07: Right.
2:22
SPEAKER_07: I uh I usually tell them to say that I had like a background voice acting role in Toy Story.
2:27
SPEAKER_01: Ah right.
2:28
SPEAKER_07: One of the non-speaking, I did the voice of the non-speaking character.
2:32
SPEAKER_01: Did you do any kind of like uh plays or activities in high school?
2:36
SPEAKER_07: Uh d activities?
2:38
SPEAKER_01: Like sports, anything like that.
2:39
SPEAKER_07: I did sports, yeah.
2:40
SPEAKER_01: What what sport did you do?
2:41
SPEAKER_07: I was football and basketball.
2:43
SPEAKER_01: So maybe maybe you could be like, you know him from high school football and basketball.
2:49
SPEAKER_07: You know him as the guy that sat on the bench for the basketball team but played on the JV team for a while.
2:55
SPEAKER_01: You might know him as the guy who cheered on his teammates and had the best creed of cheers.
3:01
SPEAKER_07: I have a coordinated stand-sit based on who was up at the free throw line.
3:06
SPEAKER_07: I mean the other four guys that didn't play, we had a lot of like you know, coordinated cheers.
3:10
SPEAKER_07: We would all stand up and do a wave at certain times.
3:14
SPEAKER_01: Did you go to high school around here or no?
3:16
SPEAKER_07: I mean in the United States, yes.
3:18
SPEAKER_07: Where did you I was in Kentucky?
3:20
SPEAKER_01: Oh wow, is that where you're from?
3:22
SPEAKER_07: Yes.
3:22
SPEAKER_07: Okay, is that not is that how you know Catherine or uh no I met her out here and then neither of us realized at the time that there was one show in Southern California that had two people from Louisville, Kentucky on it.
3:36
SPEAKER_07: Which seem I don't it seems illegal, but they let us do it.
3:40
SPEAKER_01: Did you grow up in Kentucky?
3:41
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
3:42
SPEAKER_01: You have no accent.
3:43
SPEAKER_07: I know.
3:43
SPEAKER_07: It's uh the top part of the state.
3:45
SPEAKER_07: I feel like the accent gets more as you go down.
3:48
SPEAKER_01: But you don't even have like an Ohio accent.
3:50
SPEAKER_01: You have like a non descript.
3:53
SPEAKER_07: Right.
3:53
SPEAKER_07: Transatlantic, just generic.
3:56
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
3:57
SPEAKER_07: I I don't feel like I had to get rid of it.
3:59
SPEAKER_07: I think sometimes it comes out in certain words.
4:01
SPEAKER_07: Like I'll say fur instead of for sometimes.
4:03
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
4:04
SPEAKER_07: So there's like there's hints.
4:06
SPEAKER_07: And you gotta be paying attention.
4:07
SPEAKER_01: I met someone some one time from Kentucky that um they kept talking about uh mud, and I was like, why what?
4:13
SPEAKER_01: Mold.
4:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
4:15
SPEAKER_01: Instead of saying mold, it was mud.
4:18
SPEAKER_01: That's crazy.
4:19
SPEAKER_01: That's weird.
4:19
SPEAKER_01: I know.
4:20
SPEAKER_03: That's to like the the difference though between as far as accents is concerned, between West Virginia and Kentucky is like night and fucking day.
4:31
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:31
SPEAKER_03: You get you get you're hard pressed to understand a motherfucker like deep in the mountains in West Virginia.
4:36
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
4:37
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
4:37
SPEAKER_01: Well, West Virginia though also has the Pennsylvania aspect as well, though.
4:41
SPEAKER_01: So then they kind of get that Pennsylvania accent as well.
4:44
SPEAKER_01: So I I've actually been to West Virginia, it's kind of crazy, but I've been.
4:48
SPEAKER_05: It's fucking beautiful out there.
4:50
SPEAKER_01: I mean, yeah, I think it's a brag.
4:52
SPEAKER_01: When people, you know, some people are like, I've been to Paris, I've been to London.
4:55
SPEAKER_01: I've been to West Virginia actually.
4:59
SPEAKER_01: It's actually I went to Charleston.
5:01
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
5:01
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I know.
5:02
SPEAKER_01: I was so excited.
5:03
SPEAKER_01: No offense to our West Virginia fans out there, but I was so excited, I thought I was gonna go to Charleston, South Carolina, and then it was Charleston, West Virginia.
5:11
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
5:12
SPEAKER_07: There's a Goochland, Virginia River over there.
5:15
SPEAKER_07: There's a prison out there.
5:16
SPEAKER_01: Now, is that your namesake?
5:18
SPEAKER_01: Like your family Goochville?
5:20
SPEAKER_07: Like I don't I mean, I haven't trust and trace the lineage of it, but I mean I stopped there to pee at a gas station one time.
5:28
SPEAKER_01: It feels like your forefathers might have.
5:30
SPEAKER_07: I feel like that's exactly what they wanted.
5:32
SPEAKER_07: I felt their presence as I was in that bathroom.
5:35
SPEAKER_01: Have you ever tried to see if there's lineage to Gucci?
5:38
SPEAKER_01: Like you just left off the E.
5:40
SPEAKER_07: Uh I've just assumed there is.
5:42
SPEAKER_07: I've never looked into it.
5:43
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
5:44
SPEAKER_07: But I uh assume I'll be coming into some money at some point.
5:47
SPEAKER_01: Now, when you make it big time, do you plan on only wearing Gucci?
5:52
SPEAKER_01: So then that way, like branding purposes.
5:54
SPEAKER_07: I feel this feels like a setup.
5:57
SPEAKER_07: There's no way that you would know this.
5:59
SPEAKER_07: Oh.
5:59
SPEAKER_07: But when I was in uh senior in high school, I don't know, I can't tell you why I chose to do this, but I bought a bunch of blank white t-shirts and sharpies, and I wrote Gucci, but spelled like my name on the shirt, and I wore one every day.
6:15
SPEAKER_07: And I don't know, I can't I can't tell you why I did that.
6:17
SPEAKER_07: How old?
6:18
SPEAKER_07: Huh?
6:19
SPEAKER_07: How old are you?
6:20
SPEAKER_07: How old am I?
6:20
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
6:21
SPEAKER_07: Uh now 38.
6:22
SPEAKER_07: Uh feels illegal for you to ask me that.
6:25
SPEAKER_07: But it actually is illegal.
6:28
SPEAKER_07: Uh but yeah, I they even they asked me to dress up one day uh for a pic the newspaper was coming to take a picture.
6:34
SPEAKER_07: And so I bought a blank.
6:37
SPEAKER_07: Okay, we just need to clarify high school record of paper of record reading.
6:40
SPEAKER_01: Well, maybe just not the high school gazette.
6:41
SPEAKER_07: I mean, no, no, no.
6:42
SPEAKER_07: This was the old American.
6:43
SPEAKER_01: Why were you being in featured in a newspaper?
6:46
SPEAKER_07: I think I was uh academic athlete of the week.
6:49
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
6:53
SPEAKER_07: And so I bought a blank white tie and got my Sharpies and wrote Gucci on top.
6:58
SPEAKER_07: Like one form.
7:00
SPEAKER_01: Like one big Gucci or multiple Gucci.
7:02
SPEAKER_07: Just one big one.
7:03
SPEAKER_07: I didn't have the patience to do a bunch of to do a pattern.
7:06
SPEAKER_01: I think that's I think you're onto something.
7:07
SPEAKER_07: Plus, I needed that to pop in the newspaper.
7:09
SPEAKER_01: This is you understood branding.
7:11
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, this is my big break.
7:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
7:14
SPEAKER_01: And when did you move to California?
7:16
SPEAKER_07: Uh eight years ago.
7:18
SPEAKER_07: Okay.
7:19
SPEAKER_07: Whatever.
7:19
SPEAKER_07: This year, minus eight.
7:21
SPEAKER_07: I don't I can't do the math quickly.
7:23
SPEAKER_03: Which do you prefer?
7:24
SPEAKER_07: Uh California.
7:26
SPEAKER_07: I feel like there's a little more going on here.
7:28
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
7:29
SPEAKER_07: Just a little.
7:30
SPEAKER_07: Right.
7:31
SPEAKER_01: That was your wife from Kentucky also?
7:33
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
7:33
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
7:34
SPEAKER_07: So and she also lives in California now.
7:39
SPEAKER_07: So yeah.
7:42
SPEAKER_01: Uh, did you ever, I have to ask, have you ever uh participated in like being like either working at or going to the derby?
7:50
SPEAKER_07: Uh yeah.
7:50
SPEAKER_07: Okay.
7:51
SPEAKER_07: I worked at the one summer I got we did like a fundraiser for the football team where we just did uh indentured servitude at the derby for 13 hours.
8:01
SPEAKER_07: Um we did one day parking cars at the Kentucky Motor Speedway, and then we did two days at the the Oaks and the Derby.
8:09
SPEAKER_07: Okay, back to back days.
8:10
SPEAKER_07: And I was in charge of standing at the bottom of the elevator that goes up to Millionaire's Row and checking the wristbands and kicking out the people that did not have the proper wristband.
8:20
SPEAKER_07: Uh I don't know if you remember the show Joe Millionaire.
8:23
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes, I do from Fox.
8:25
SPEAKER_07: The guy from Joe Millionaire, who was not a millionaire, which was the point of the show.
8:30
SPEAKER_07: He tried to go up the elevator into Millionaire's Row, and I had to say, sorry, you don't have the blue wristband.
8:38
SPEAKER_07: You have to leave.
8:39
SPEAKER_07: So I had a as an 18-year-old, I had to bounce Joe Millionaire from an elevator for not being a millionaire.
8:45
SPEAKER_01: So the concept of Joe Millionaire was that they went.
8:48
SPEAKER_01: Did you are you familiar?
8:49
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
8:49
SPEAKER_07: I have no idea.
8:50
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, so so Joe Millionaire was actually clever.
8:52
SPEAKER_07: You're gonna sound insane trying to explain this that it was on network TV.
8:56
SPEAKER_01: No, no, okay.
8:56
SPEAKER_01: So so the concept was is that they took him to like a villa, I want to say, in like Paris or something, or like France.
9:02
SPEAKER_03: It's a dating show, yeah.
9:03
SPEAKER_01: It was a dating show, and then they had, let's say, 18 female contestants.
9:08
SPEAKER_03: Oh, and they all thought, I I remember this show.
9:11
SPEAKER_03: He was a construction, yeah.
9:12
SPEAKER_03: But he was just fucking broke.
9:13
SPEAKER_01: Well, not just, but he was a construction worker, yeah.
9:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
9:16
SPEAKER_03: I remember that.
9:17
SPEAKER_01: I think one of my friends actually met him in LA one time, like around the time of the filming.
9:21
SPEAKER_01: Kind of interesting.
9:22
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, probably would have been a better experience than he didn't he wasn't happy about getting kicked out of the elevator.
9:26
SPEAKER_04: What do you mean?
9:27
SPEAKER_04: My name's Millionaire.
9:28
SPEAKER_04: I know it's meant to me.
9:30
SPEAKER_04: Have you ever watched TV before?
9:33
SPEAKER_07: And I don't what he didn't realize is if he had just stayed there another minute, I would have let him go up the elevator.
9:37
SPEAKER_07: I was not being paid.
9:39
SPEAKER_07: Um, just don't let them see me see you.
9:45
SPEAKER_07: I just said, hey, you don't have the right wristband, and he got mad and stormed off if he had just asked maybe a second time.
9:51
SPEAKER_07: This was probably all it would have taken.
9:53
SPEAKER_01: What if he would have like slipped a Benjamin?
9:55
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
9:56
SPEAKER_07: I mean, uh he could have done a Washington and that would have gotten him up there.
10:01
SPEAKER_07: Here's enough money for the payphone dog.
10:03
SPEAKER_07: Can I get in?
10:05
SPEAKER_07: Nice.
10:06
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, it's Washington bill or coin.
10:08
SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say, I was I was actually you beat me to it.
10:10
SPEAKER_01: I was gonna ask if it was if it was gonna be paper or or metal, but what was that 20 years ago?
10:17
SPEAKER_03: So 06, yeah.
10:18
SPEAKER_03: Inflation.
10:19
SPEAKER_03: That was pretty good.
10:21
SPEAKER_01: That's fun.
10:22
SPEAKER_01: I yeah, I've I've only been to Del Mar for horse racing.
10:26
SPEAKER_01: It's it's fun.
10:27
SPEAKER_01: It's a fun I think it's fun.
10:28
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I know some people have different opinions on horse racing, but it's I don't know.
10:35
SPEAKER_01: I think it's it's got an interesting.
10:36
SPEAKER_03: I've never been to a horse race.
10:38
SPEAKER_03: I would go.
10:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
10:39
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, for sure.
10:40
SPEAKER_07: I took a guy to a horse race for the first time, and he was surprised.
10:43
SPEAKER_07: I think he thought it was like NASCAR races where the horses run for a long time, but it's like two minutes.
10:48
SPEAKER_07: So he was like, What and I was like, they can't just have the horses run for two and a half hours.
10:54
SPEAKER_03: That's everyone's always disappointed with two minutes.
10:57
SPEAKER_07: I know.
10:58
SPEAKER_07: It's like so for some people that's really, really good.
11:01
SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
11:02
SPEAKER_03: Like at the very least, average.
11:04
SPEAKER_03: Right.
11:05
SPEAKER_03: Is all I'm saying.
11:06
SPEAKER_07: Right.
11:07
SPEAKER_07: Okay, I didn't know if that was average or good.
11:09
SPEAKER_03: I mean, you know, I got things to do.
11:11
SPEAKER_03: Right.
11:12
SPEAKER_03: We're busy, yeah.
11:13
SPEAKER_03: Fucking get it in, get it over with, and fucking get back to work.
11:18
SPEAKER_03: That's all I'm saying.
11:20
SPEAKER_07: See these people in the videos taking forever.
11:22
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, what do you mean?
11:24
SPEAKER_03: What do you mean 27 minutes?
11:25
SPEAKER_03: This is inefficient.
11:27
SPEAKER_03: They're on drugs.
11:29
SPEAKER_03: That's a blue chew at work, boy.
11:33
SPEAKER_01: This portion sponsored by No Chew.
11:39
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
11:40
SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah, no, I so yeah, I've only been to Del Mar.
11:44
SPEAKER_01: Uh I thought it was fun.
11:46
SPEAKER_01: The horse racing and seeing people get dressed up is silly too.
11:49
SPEAKER_01: And yeah.
11:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
11:50
SPEAKER_01: I mean, they don't get as crazy.
11:51
SPEAKER_03: What do you mean dressed up?
11:52
SPEAKER_01: Uh well, at least at Kentucky Derby, uh the women and the men I didn't even put two and two together right now, the Kentucky Derby.
12:01
SPEAKER_03: No, I'm high, carry on.
12:05
SPEAKER_01: So in Kentucky, they have this thing called a Derby.
12:09
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I know.
12:10
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and they race horses.
12:12
SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
12:12
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
12:13
SPEAKER_01: And then the women get dressed up and they wear fancy hats, and the men get dapper as well.
12:19
SPEAKER_01: And then they it's like a it's an event where you get dressed up.
12:23
SPEAKER_07: The hats get big.
12:25
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
12:27
SPEAKER_01: I think it'd probably be a little bit annoying though if you got tickets and the person in front of you had like a big hat.
12:33
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
12:33
SPEAKER_07: I mean, I yeah, it's not like a movie theater.
12:36
SPEAKER_07: You can probably move around a little more freely.
12:38
SPEAKER_01: I have to say, one of my favorite movies is Secretariat.
12:40
SPEAKER_07: So did you wear a big hat when you saw it?
12:42
SPEAKER_01: No.
12:43
SPEAKER_07: Oh.
12:43
SPEAKER_01: I don't even think I saw it in a movie theater.
12:45
SPEAKER_07: I I I You can still wear a big hat in your own home.
12:47
SPEAKER_01: That is true.
12:48
SPEAKER_01: It is true.
12:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
12:48
SPEAKER_07: They haven't outlawed that yet.
12:50
SPEAKER_01: That's not yet.
12:51
SPEAKER_01: It's on the list.
12:53
SPEAKER_07: Here in Joe Biden's America.
12:55
SPEAKER_01: What?
12:57
SPEAKER_01: Yes, we are recording this in 2025.
13:00
SPEAKER_01: Or what no twenty three.
13:02
SPEAKER_01: You can still wear a big hat inside your own home.
13:04
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
13:05
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
13:05
SPEAKER_02: We don't do politics here.
13:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no politics.
13:08
SPEAKER_01: Politics-free zone.
13:09
SPEAKER_01: So um, all right.
13:11
SPEAKER_01: I have to ask you, are you inspired by Steven Wright?
13:14
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
13:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
13:15
SPEAKER_01: I feel like you're a puppy, Stephen Wright.
13:17
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
13:18
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
13:18
SPEAKER_03: I'll take that.
13:19
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
13:19
SPEAKER_03: Did you say puppy or puffy?
13:21
SPEAKER_01: Neither.
13:22
SPEAKER_01: I said peppy.
13:23
SPEAKER_03: Peppy.
13:23
SPEAKER_01: Yes, Peppy.
13:25
SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
13:26
SPEAKER_03: You were a cheerleader, right?
13:27
SPEAKER_03: So that makes sense.
13:28
unknown: That's true.
13:31
SPEAKER_01: Going back to cheerleading, um, well, I played softball when I was a kid.
13:35
SPEAKER_01: Not really good.
13:36
SPEAKER_01: I just played occasionally.
13:38
SPEAKER_01: And um, for anyone who's wondering, I played right field.
13:41
SPEAKER_01: And if you know, you know.
13:42
SPEAKER_01: That means you're not usually the best player on the team.
13:45
SPEAKER_03: No, hell no.
13:45
SPEAKER_03: You're out there picking grass.
13:47
SPEAKER_01: And I was a rotating right fielder, so even worse, right?
13:51
SPEAKER_03: You were a backup right fielder?
13:52
SPEAKER_01: No, it was like every other inning I rotated with another guy.
13:55
SPEAKER_03: Same thing.
13:57
SPEAKER_01: Well, neither of us were starters.
13:58
SPEAKER_01: I mean, we're talking reckly.
13:59
SPEAKER_01: We're not talking about.
14:00
SPEAKER_03: I was gonna say, so y'all had to get ours.
14:03
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I think more than anything, I I was just I had the likability quotient or quotient quota, like, whereas like I I was always just so nice to everybody else on the team to like chanting the sport too, right?
14:15
SPEAKER_01: And it's a big, it's a I'm sorry.
14:20
SPEAKER_03: I have a lung disease, it's uh legitimately.
14:25
SPEAKER_01: So um carry on.
14:27
SPEAKER_03: Well I'm alive, it's fine, we're good, it's all good.
14:31
SPEAKER_01: So Emily was saying before I was rudely interrupted.
14:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
14:35
SPEAKER_01: No, but I was always cheering everybody else on.
14:37
SPEAKER_01: So like anytime like I actually made contact, even if it was an out, but if I made contact, like the parents would even be like, oh my god, like so happy because I was so happy when anybody like did anything on the team, like good.
14:49
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, so I I feel you on the cheering section.
14:52
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, just just uh, you know, court gesture, if you will.
14:57
SPEAKER_01: So what about you?
14:58
SPEAKER_01: What is your experience with uh sports?
15:00
SPEAKER_03: I was great at sports, believe it or not.
15:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you probably can't tell nowadays, but once upon a time I played.
15:08
SPEAKER_01: You were in the uh Nathan's hot dog eating contest.
15:11
SPEAKER_03: You know, I'm not a huge fan of hot dogs.
15:14
SPEAKER_03: Any other kind of like eat like a biscuits and gravy eating contest?
15:18
SPEAKER_03: You're not fucking with me.
15:20
SPEAKER_03: I'm not a huge fan of pie either.
15:22
SPEAKER_03: Believe it or not, I don't eat a lot of sweets, especially now that I'm fucking type two diabetic.
15:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
15:30
SPEAKER_03: Um I played football in middle school.
15:32
SPEAKER_03: We won state every year.
15:34
SPEAKER_03: Uh played baseball a lot.
15:37
SPEAKER_03: We also won a bunch of championships.
15:40
SPEAKER_03: Uh basketball.
15:42
SPEAKER_03: We got cheated out of a championship.
15:44
SPEAKER_03: Hell yeah, I was the only white kid on my basketball team.
15:47
SPEAKER_03: And I had to, I wasn't very great at basketball, but it was Rekley because I had to give my hours in.
15:55
SPEAKER_03: Um but we did get cheated out of a championship.
15:58
SPEAKER_03: We had to go to a majority white city to to do the finals, and they just fucked us.
16:08
SPEAKER_03: Like that, yeah, that was my that was my first like obvious experience with racism.
16:14
SPEAKER_03: Oh.
16:15
SPEAKER_03: Because I like I said, I grew up fucking the only white kid in a in an all-black neighborhood.
16:20
SPEAKER_03: So I didn't really experience too much racism, per se.
16:24
SPEAKER_03: But then when we went out there and I like, it was so obvious.
16:28
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
16:28
SPEAKER_03: It was so it was like the whole their whole team was white.
16:32
SPEAKER_03: Our whole team, except for me, was black.
16:35
SPEAKER_03: So like we know that the white team shouldn't have fucking won.
16:40
SPEAKER_03: But like every single call that the the white refs made was against us.
16:45
SPEAKER_01: So it was that movie Remember the Titans?
16:47
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
16:48
SPEAKER_03: Football.
16:49
SPEAKER_03: So you were the reverse.
16:51
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yep.
16:52
SPEAKER_03: It was in Western Branch.
16:53
SPEAKER_03: I remember it very vividly.
16:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I was uh not happy.
16:58
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
16:58
SPEAKER_03: We were all ready to like actually throw hands outside of a rec center.
17:02
SPEAKER_03: Like we were pissed.
17:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
17:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
17:06
SPEAKER_01: Very cool.
17:07
SPEAKER_01: Well, um, so I like to try segue.
17:10
SPEAKER_07: Got cheated out of it.
17:11
SPEAKER_07: Very cool.
17:12
SPEAKER_07: Racism and everything.
17:14
SPEAKER_07: Very cool.
17:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, very cool.
17:15
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I don't know.
17:16
SPEAKER_01: How do I like it's childhood trauma?
17:18
SPEAKER_01: Yay!
17:21
SPEAKER_03: Welcome back to Therapy Corner.
17:25
SPEAKER_01: Um, so what I like to try to do is I try to pick a story based on the guest and what I think the guest might like, or maybe a joke that I've heard the guest say and I thought was really funny.
17:37
SPEAKER_01: And in this instance, you have a joke that I thought was pretty funny.
17:41
SPEAKER_01: I don't remember it in its all entirety, but it was about adoption adoption.
17:47
SPEAKER_07: Right.
17:47
SPEAKER_01: So the story that I'm gonna tell today is about Caltrans.
17:50
SPEAKER_01: Are you guys familiar with Caltrans?
17:53
SPEAKER_03: I've been to West Hollywood.
17:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
17:58
SPEAKER_01: So Caltrans is who does all the road work for the highways.
18:02
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
18:02
SPEAKER_01: You know, in California, highways and road work and construction, building, uh they work on building out the freeways and making changes to the freeways, construction, repair.
18:14
SPEAKER_07: They build the roads, the highways.
18:17
SPEAKER_01: I mean, sometimes they contract out stuff, right?
18:20
SPEAKER_01: Okay, right, but then they also are involved in the process.
18:23
SPEAKER_01: Overall, they're involved in the process.
18:26
SPEAKER_07: Right, okay.
18:26
SPEAKER_01: Of road work.
18:27
SPEAKER_07: I gotcha.
18:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:28
SPEAKER_07: I've seen road work before, so I understand what you're talking about.
18:31
SPEAKER_01: You know what I usually see is road uh sleep or ro road stay.
18:35
SPEAKER_01: I feel like anytime I walk, I drive by certain areas of like road getting worked on, it's like lots of machines.
18:43
SPEAKER_01: No people.
18:44
SPEAKER_07: Right.
18:45
SPEAKER_01: You're like, cool.
18:46
SPEAKER_01: Like a couple days of just it's exciting when you see a machine moving though.
18:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:50
SPEAKER_07: It's like a celebrity spotting.
18:52
SPEAKER_07: Yes.
18:52
SPEAKER_01: I I don't know how familiar you are with Long Beach, but Ocean Boulevard and Long Beach.
18:56
SPEAKER_01: I haven't been there in a minute.
18:57
SPEAKER_01: It's been a few years, but there were because when I'm when uh I used to work down there, and I swear it was like months of just machines and never any movement and never any progress.
19:07
SPEAKER_03: And it just thought like it's That's how the 57 and the 60 interchanges right now.
19:11
SPEAKER_03: Like they some fucking like every single and I drive by there at all hours of the day and night, and there's never anyone actually working there, and then like four or five days later, it'll be like a whole piece of a fucking freeway has been built out of nowhere.
19:28
SPEAKER_03: Uh, I don't know what they're doing.
19:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
19:30
SPEAKER_03: They're fucking they're getting paid for sure.
19:33
SPEAKER_07: Do you think they have somewhere to park the trucks when they're not in, or do you think they just have to keep the road closed so they can keep it parked there until they can take it to the next one?
19:42
SPEAKER_01: Well, I think some of the uh trucks that they use are so big that it'd be pretty inefficient to like take them and back and forth.
19:49
SPEAKER_01: So I think that's why they stayed where they're at, and then I think that they're ready to like go for the project that they're gonna work on, and then they take them away.
19:56
SPEAKER_01: That's why it were if you guys were here, you probably neither of you were probably here during Karmageddon.
20:00
SPEAKER_01: So it was this time where they were redoing the 405 uh by um kind of near Getty, I want to say the Getty Center.
20:07
SPEAKER_01: It was in that area.
20:09
SPEAKER_01: Memory's a little foggy, but they paid another contractor to do it, and there was like a uh like a they would get a reward, they would get like a like a benefit if they went finished it early on time, and then if they didn't finish it within a certain time, they would be fined.
20:25
SPEAKER_01: And since they contracted it out to a private business, it got done on time.
20:30
SPEAKER_03: So they got to never pay full price for late pizza.
20:35
SPEAKER_01: So no, but that a lot of times when it's uh run by the government, it takes longer because there's all other stuff.
20:41
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, because they're bleeding the government drive for every dollar they can charge them.
20:45
SPEAKER_01: So what happens in those instances though is they they bid it to different contractors, right?
20:50
SPEAKER_01: So if they're not gonna do it themselves, they bid it out, and uh it's supposed to be for the benefit of the taxpayers, right?
20:56
SPEAKER_01: So then that way you get the best price.
20:59
SPEAKER_07: Free market.
21:00
SPEAKER_01: Right, it's a free market situation.
21:01
SPEAKER_01: So it's like, okay, what time can you do it in, and what's your price?
21:06
SPEAKER_01: And then they they stack them all against each other, and then they make a decision who's the best, right?
21:11
SPEAKER_01: And that seems fair.
21:13
SPEAKER_01: Wouldn't you wouldn't you agree?
21:15
SPEAKER_01: You yeah.
21:16
SPEAKER_01: Well, um Caltrans contract manager Shun Fu Keith Yong, we'll call him Keith.
21:27
SPEAKER_01: Uh he had different plans.
21:29
SPEAKER_01: So what he was doing back in the 2015-2019 era was um he was making sure that his two of his uh friends, if you will, were getting the bids awarded to them.
21:44
SPEAKER_03: Right.
21:45
SPEAKER_03: So as Windows, right?
21:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
21:47
SPEAKER_01: So uh this is all according to prosecutors and uh so yeah, so he was working with contractors to rig the bidding process so certain companies would win the contracts before the bids were even Opened.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: So he had it all lined up before the the bids even were released to the public.
22:06
SPEAKER_01: And they decided that one of the guys involved whose name is uh there's William Opp and Bill Miller were his co-conspirators.
22:17
SPEAKER_07: Uh are they Bill Miller and William Opp?
22:21
SPEAKER_07: Is that what you said?
22:22
SPEAKER_01: Uh it's William Opp and Bill Miller.
22:25
SPEAKER_01: So they're both Williams.
22:26
SPEAKER_01: They're both Williams, that's right.
22:28
SPEAKER_07: Something to keep an eye on for later in the story.
22:30
SPEAKER_01: Slick Willy's.
22:34
SPEAKER_07: I'm just gonna put a pen in that for later in the story.
22:36
SPEAKER_07: I'm gonna solve this mystery.
22:39
SPEAKER_07: I think that could be a clue.
22:41
SPEAKER_01: So um basically they one of the individuals, I believe it was uh Opp.
22:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
22:47
SPEAKER_01: Op created a whole second business.
22:51
SPEAKER_01: And he put his wife as the president of the business.
22:54
SPEAKER_01: And then he would have that business uh perform uh competitive bids, right?
22:59
SPEAKER_01: But they knew that company was never gonna get the bid.
23:03
SPEAKER_07: Right.
23:04
SPEAKER_07: So is this uh the patriarchy where he's making his wife lose every time?
23:09
SPEAKER_01: I mean, yeah, and she's not making any money either.
23:12
SPEAKER_07: Right.
23:13
SPEAKER_01: Or or maybe maybe it's back to like the 1950s, like the little woman, like she doesn't know.
23:20
SPEAKER_01: And he's you know, she's just at home making you know chicken and pies.
23:24
SPEAKER_03: She's got a whole business in her name.
23:26
SPEAKER_01: She doesn't even know though.
23:27
SPEAKER_01: And that happens a lot, honestly.
23:29
SPEAKER_01: If you watch Real Housewives, which I do.
23:31
SPEAKER_01: Um, it turns out that there's a couple that uh we're like they didn't know what their husband was doing, they just signed documents, and then turns out their husbands were doing some not so good things, and they end up going to prison.
23:45
SPEAKER_07: So that's why you get married.
23:48
SPEAKER_03: What's gonna have escaped to exploit your wife?
23:53
SPEAKER_03: Criminal gain, hell yeah.
23:56
SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say the marital privilege, right?
23:58
SPEAKER_01: But uh there's a privilege in and out of the courtroom, but yeah, anyways.
24:04
SPEAKER_01: Um, so young or Keith, he was uh apparently bribed in the form of cash payments, wine, furniture, and remodeling services on his home.
24:17
SPEAKER_03: Now, do we know if it was like expensive wine or allegedly he received up to a million rosa?
24:25
SPEAKER_03: What was he drinking?
24:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, boons.
24:27
SPEAKER_01: It was just a bunch of boons.
24:29
SPEAKER_01: Cases of boons.
24:30
SPEAKER_01: No.
24:31
SPEAKER_01: It's disgusting.
24:32
SPEAKER_01: Was it one silver oak or was it three cases of boons?
24:35
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
24:35
SPEAKER_03: I didn't I is that an expensive wine brand, Silver Oak?
24:38
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
24:38
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
24:39
SPEAKER_07: Do you think the people that bribed with cash felt stupid once they found out they could launder it through like home remodeling?
24:47
SPEAKER_07: That would be an easier way to go than cash payment.
24:50
SPEAKER_07: I don't know.
24:50
SPEAKER_07: I think so.
24:51
SPEAKER_01: I mean, yeah, I think I think that's where it gets dicey because then you're looking at this like weird um like uh bartering system.
25:00
SPEAKER_01: Like if you do my staircase, I'll order this freeway contract.
25:03
SPEAKER_01: It's like, you know.
25:05
SPEAKER_01: I think cash is just an easier mechanism because you don't have to wait for your staircase to get completed.
25:11
SPEAKER_07: That's true.
25:11
SPEAKER_07: You know, I guess you'd feel stupid if you gave them a highway contract and they never finished your stairs.
25:16
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
25:17
SPEAKER_07: Right.
25:18
SPEAKER_01: All right.
25:18
SPEAKER_07: So maybe cash payments the way to go.
25:20
SPEAKER_01: Or maybe Bill Op was like, yeah, I'll finish it after the next project.
25:24
SPEAKER_01: Right.
25:25
SPEAKER_07: I'll finish half your staircase if you want it all the way done.
25:27
SPEAKER_07: Yes.
25:29
SPEAKER_01: You didn't specify.
25:30
SPEAKER_01: Um, I I put up the structure for it, but if you want it to look nice, now you have to give me the next one.
25:36
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
25:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't know.
25:37
SPEAKER_03: I don't think they've ever built a highway that looks nice in California.
25:42
SPEAKER_01: I think the 73 is actually really nice.
25:44
SPEAKER_01: Have you ever been on the 73?
25:45
SPEAKER_01: That's I have actually.
25:46
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'll give you that.
25:47
SPEAKER_03: It's it's well paved.
25:48
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
25:49
SPEAKER_03: It's like probably the only well-paved fucking freeway out here.
25:54
SPEAKER_00: It's a toll road, that's why.
25:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's exactly what it is.
25:57
SPEAKER_03: Right.
25:57
SPEAKER_03: They gentrified the freeway.
26:02
SPEAKER_01: It's actually beautiful too, because it's like just nice scenery.
26:05
SPEAKER_03: It is a very nice drive.
26:07
SPEAKER_01: It's probably reminds you of Kentucky a little bit and Virginia because it's just more like open spaces in a sense.
26:12
SPEAKER_03: No, something like that.
26:13
SPEAKER_03: It's a little hilly though, where I was at in Virginia is all fucking flat farmland.
26:18
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
26:18
SPEAKER_03: You had to drive out to Ken Fucky to see the mountains.
26:22
SPEAKER_00: Drive out of what?
26:23
SPEAKER_03: To Kinfucky.
26:25
SPEAKER_01: Oh, Ken.
26:27
SPEAKER_03: It's like a joke.
26:28
SPEAKER_03: It's like a joke, man.
26:29
SPEAKER_01: Oh, this is a comedy podcast.
26:31
SPEAKER_01: Right.
26:31
SPEAKER_01: You know what?
26:32
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
26:32
SPEAKER_03: What do you know?
26:33
SPEAKER_03: We do jokes sometimes.
26:34
SPEAKER_01: Is that nans planning?
26:36
SPEAKER_01: Does that qualify?
26:36
SPEAKER_03: Uh I don't think so.
26:38
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
26:39
SPEAKER_01: Tell me more.
26:42
SPEAKER_01: Now, have you a side tangent?
26:44
SPEAKER_01: Have you been to Fontana?
26:45
SPEAKER_01: It's also known as Fontuki.
26:47
SPEAKER_01: Have you heard of this?
26:47
SPEAKER_07: Uh no.
26:48
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
26:48
SPEAKER_07: And I have not gotten before you.
26:50
SPEAKER_01: You've never heard that it's called Fontucky?
26:52
SPEAKER_01: No.
26:52
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
26:53
unknown: Yeah.
26:53
SPEAKER_07: This is uh you're giving me all the information I know about Fontana right now.
26:58
SPEAKER_07: I came into this with no information.
27:00
SPEAKER_00: There's actually a speedway there.
27:02
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
27:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
27:03
SPEAKER_03: The only difference is uh Kentucky has more trailer parks.
27:06
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
27:08
SPEAKER_07: Oh yeah.
27:10
SPEAKER_01: And fried chicken.
27:11
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
27:12
SPEAKER_07: Do they have they don't have fried chicken in Fontana?
27:15
SPEAKER_07: Well, I mean, Kentucky's known for they can't recreate the experience there one-to-one.
27:19
SPEAKER_01: The kernel.
27:21
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, those 11 herbs and spices.
27:23
SPEAKER_07: Now, if you're if you're in Kentucky and you want the inside information, if you want the good fried chicken, you don't go to KFC.
27:29
SPEAKER_07: You go to in Shelbyville, there's uh Claudia Sanders, which is his wife.
27:34
SPEAKER_07: Might have been a shell company he set up in Hammer for a competitive bit, I don't know.
27:39
SPEAKER_07: But it's like a restaurant.
27:41
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
27:41
SPEAKER_07: We would I don't know that.
27:43
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, you would it was like between when I lived in Lexington and my family lived in Louisville.
27:46
SPEAKER_07: It was between, so you would meet at Claudia Sanders.
27:49
SPEAKER_07: My grandma's from Lexington.
27:50
SPEAKER_07: They would have like fancy.
27:53
SPEAKER_03: Is that like a Kentucky specific business?
27:56
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
27:57
SPEAKER_07: There's just the one and it's by the Colonel's home there.
28:00
SPEAKER_07: Is it still open?
28:01
SPEAKER_07: Uh I I'm sure it's still open.
28:03
SPEAKER_07: What'd you say it's called?
28:03
SPEAKER_07: Claudia Sanders.
28:05
SPEAKER_07: Oh yeah, we're gonna find out.
28:06
SPEAKER_07: Look this up on the internet.
28:07
SPEAKER_01: Is that like his first wife?
28:09
SPEAKER_07: I don't know uh a lot about the colonel's personal history.
28:13
SPEAKER_07: I think the more you look into it, probably the pro more problematic it gets.
28:16
SPEAKER_07: So I've tried to keep it very surface level, my relationship with the colonel.
28:22
SPEAKER_03: Damn sure is it's open right now.
28:23
SPEAKER_03: Look at that.
28:24
SPEAKER_01: I mean like my thought would be like it's his first wife, and she's like, I'll show you.
28:28
SPEAKER_07: I'll make chicken better.
28:30
SPEAKER_01: I'll do 12 spices.
28:31
SPEAKER_01: Right.
28:32
SPEAKER_01: Herbs and spices.
28:33
SPEAKER_07: What do you think is the most you can get into?
28:36
SPEAKER_07: Dr.
28:36
SPEAKER_07: Pepper's got 23.
28:38
SPEAKER_07: It does.
28:39
SPEAKER_07: Like, what do you think is the upper limit of how many herbs and spices we can get into something?
28:44
SPEAKER_03: Well, I mean, from a flavor profile standpoint, you could put as many as you want, but uh at some point they're gonna start.
28:51
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, there's only there's only so many different things though that you can have and go into a thing.
28:56
SPEAKER_03: One thing I've learned about uh the culinary industry is that a lot of the times, especially as far as seasoning is concerned, less is more.
29:05
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
29:06
SPEAKER_07: Now if you did a Dr.
29:07
SPEAKER_07: Pepper battered fried chicken, that would be 23 plus 11 plus 12.
29:12
SPEAKER_01: Or is it 11 or 12?
29:13
SPEAKER_07: It will I don't know if there's any overlap between the that's true too.
29:17
SPEAKER_07: So are we talking?
29:18
SPEAKER_07: I mean, because that would put us up at the 34 herbs and spices into a fried chicken if we dipped it into Dr.
29:25
SPEAKER_07: Pepper.
29:25
SPEAKER_03: I'm willing to try it for science.
29:27
SPEAKER_03: Okay, yeah.
29:28
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
29:28
SPEAKER_01: Do you think that salt and pepper are part of the spices counted for Kentucky Fried Chicken?
29:34
SPEAKER_01: Probably.
29:35
SPEAKER_07: I think if you're gonna get to 11, I think you gotta be counting salt and pepper.
29:38
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
29:38
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, Colonel Sanders is white as fuck.
29:40
SPEAKER_03: He definitely counts salt and pepper.
29:42
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
29:43
SPEAKER_03: For sure.
29:44
SPEAKER_03: Uses the spicy salt.
29:45
SPEAKER_03: Had to get a leg up.
29:46
SPEAKER_03: Nine just wasn't enough.
29:49
SPEAKER_00: A thigh or a a thigh or a drumstick.
29:56
SPEAKER_07: Not drumstick for sure.
29:57
SPEAKER_07: Not a wing.
29:58
SPEAKER_07: Thighs are gross.
30:00
SPEAKER_07: Now we don't know what's in Coca-Cola, right?
30:02
SPEAKER_07: That's like a top secret.
30:03
SPEAKER_01: Well, it used to be a colour.
30:04
SPEAKER_01: I wish they put the cocaine.
30:06
SPEAKER_01: It used to be coca.
30:08
SPEAKER_07: Right.
30:09
SPEAKER_01: Also known as cocaine, allegedly, yeah.
30:12
SPEAKER_01: So I I don't I think it's still a top secret.
30:14
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, it's like under vault and so it could have 24.
30:18
SPEAKER_01: It really could.
30:19
SPEAKER_07: We don't know.
30:20
SPEAKER_07: Hey, this maybe down.
30:22
SPEAKER_01: I'm curious about Mountain Dew.
30:24
SPEAKER_01: How many do you think are in Mountain Dew?
30:26
SPEAKER_07: I would say there's I don't know, flavors.
30:28
SPEAKER_07: I don't think Mountain Dew has like herbs or spices or flavors as much as chemicals.
30:34
SPEAKER_03: Just chemicals.
30:35
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
30:40
SPEAKER_01: Tell us.
30:41
SPEAKER_03: It was made to mix with Moonshine.
30:44
SPEAKER_03: And moonshine, yeah.
30:45
SPEAKER_03: And it's fucking disgusting.
30:48
SPEAKER_03: I would never put bourbon or moonshine in a Mountain Dew.
30:52
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, we were in South Carolina one time and we got moonshine and it is a lot.
30:57
SPEAKER_01: It's like fire water.
30:58
SPEAKER_03: I love it.
31:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah?
31:00
SPEAKER_03: Hell yeah.
31:02
SPEAKER_03: I do.
31:03
SPEAKER_03: I don't like I don't drink to get drunk a lot.
31:08
SPEAKER_03: But when I get when I like want to get intoxicated and moonshine is there, it's like two shots and I'm fucking out of there.
31:17
SPEAKER_03: No, I'm gone.
31:18
SPEAKER_03: I'm not even there anymore.
31:19
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
31:21
SPEAKER_03: Um and then like we would soak it in like strawberries or peaches or fucking things of that nature, and it it still burns the shit out, you know what I mean, when it's going down, but it tastes good.
31:34
SPEAKER_03: Or you could just you could eat like a soaked strawberry and be fucked up.
31:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
31:39
SPEAKER_03: Hell yeah.
31:40
SPEAKER_01: That's actually funny.
31:42
SPEAKER_01: My aunt and uncle used to host like a family picnic, and ants love picnics.
31:47
SPEAKER_07: They do.
31:50
SPEAKER_07: I know, I I grew up ants, not aunts.
31:53
SPEAKER_01: Right.
31:54
SPEAKER_01: I'm not fancy enough for aunts.
31:56
SPEAKER_01: Right, yeah.
31:57
SPEAKER_01: I grow ants.
31:57
SPEAKER_07: That's a different class of people.
31:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure.
32:00
SPEAKER_01: But um, so my aunt, I guess if you want, they to the way they would prepare is because it would be a public park and you can't have alcohol at a public park, right?
32:08
SPEAKER_01: So what would they do?
32:10
SPEAKER_01: Slice a watermelon in half and then just dump vodka in it.
32:13
SPEAKER_06: Right.
32:14
SPEAKER_01: And then there was like the no kids watermelon and the adult watermelon.
32:18
SPEAKER_01: Or adult non-adult, yeah.
32:20
SPEAKER_07: So kid free and the adult one.
32:22
SPEAKER_07: That's right.
32:24
SPEAKER_07: Two adult watermelons.
32:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
32:25
SPEAKER_01: And then sometimes things get mixed up, you know, but no.
32:28
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
32:30
SPEAKER_01: Well, anyways, so um so basically you can't do that.
32:36
SPEAKER_01: You can't collude with other individuals or conspire with other individuals and legally do it.
32:42
SPEAKER_01: Well, right.
32:43
SPEAKER_07: You can't do it.
32:44
SPEAKER_01: Well, you're it's right.
32:46
SPEAKER_01: It's against the law.
32:46
SPEAKER_01: It's an antitrust situation.
32:48
SPEAKER_01: You can't I mean, I trust that the antitrust is gonna make sure that these things don't happen.
32:54
SPEAKER_01: And that's what happened in this instance.
32:56
SPEAKER_01: So any ideas on what kind of uh they pled guilty, by the way, so allegedly.
33:02
SPEAKER_01: No, you don't have to say allegedly, but yeah.
33:04
SPEAKER_01: Um no for anti- conspiracy, and I believe antitrust, but definitely conspiracy.
33:08
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I didn't know that was like a charge.
33:10
SPEAKER_03: I thought no, uh I have two conspiracy charges.
33:13
SPEAKER_03: I know they're legit.
33:15
SPEAKER_01: Did you know that our our co-host here has partaken in the prison system?
33:20
SPEAKER_01: Were you aware of that?
33:21
SPEAKER_01: Okay, all right.
33:22
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, no, I read the biography of the podcast.
33:24
SPEAKER_03: He knows what podcast he came to.
33:28
SPEAKER_03: At least somebody does.
33:31
SPEAKER_07: Now, antitrust sounds like somebody that would organize a watermelon picnic for you.
33:37
SPEAKER_07: My antitrust.
33:38
SPEAKER_06: My antitrust.
33:40
SPEAKER_01: How did you know that my aunt was of that persuasion?
33:45
SPEAKER_01: She has passed away, so she rest in peace.
33:48
SPEAKER_03: RIP2, a real one then.
33:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I just brought watermelon.
33:55
SPEAKER_01: I just put watermelon, I just rub it in the ground, like for you.
34:00
SPEAKER_03: Surprised that whole latte is Kahlua.
34:03
SPEAKER_03: Kahlua.
34:04
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
34:05
SPEAKER_01: I went through a Kahlua phase.
34:07
SPEAKER_01: I think every white girl goes through a Kahlua phase, yeah.
34:10
SPEAKER_03: I bet you used to drink sambuka.
34:12
SPEAKER_01: No.
34:13
SPEAKER_01: No.
34:13
SPEAKER_01: Never did that.
34:14
SPEAKER_01: No.
34:15
SPEAKER_01: No.
34:15
SPEAKER_01: No.
34:16
SPEAKER_03: My mom loved that shit.
34:17
SPEAKER_01: I enjoyed a zima from time to time.
34:19
SPEAKER_01: That day it's me.
34:20
SPEAKER_03: My mom used to drink Zima's.
34:22
SPEAKER_03: My fucking my mom would keep like, I don't know, four or five zimas in the fridge.
34:27
SPEAKER_03: And my brother drank all of them one time.
34:30
SPEAKER_00: Oh, no.
34:30
SPEAKER_03: Like five of them bitches.
34:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
34:32
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
34:33
SPEAKER_03: So he crawled down the hallway.
34:36
SPEAKER_01: Oh, wait, are we talking like baby or we're talking like he's a dude?
34:39
SPEAKER_03: No, he was like, he was like maybe ten.
34:43
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
34:44
SPEAKER_03: And uh, so he crawled down the hallway through the living room, crawled up into my mom's lap like a fucking cat, and was like bawling, crying.
34:53
SPEAKER_03: Like he was fucked up.
34:56
SPEAKER_03: And I'm high as shit, so I'm fucking laughing my ass off because I know what's going on.
35:03
SPEAKER_03: Uh it was pretty fucking crazy.
35:05
SPEAKER_01: Uh now we had Arya Azizian on, and he's uh we've talked about bourbon, and there's the crime that we talked about with him was uh Pappy Van Winkle.
35:14
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
35:14
SPEAKER_01: No, are you a fan of Pappy's or Yeah?
35:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
35:18
SPEAKER_01: I mean being from Kentucky, right?
35:20
SPEAKER_01: You know?
35:20
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, yeah, you familiarize yourself with it.
35:23
SPEAKER_07: But yeah, no, I mean that's like it's usually uh out of my price range.
35:28
SPEAKER_01: Right.
35:29
SPEAKER_01: So not like uh Well I just assume that possibly, you know, you might have known a guy that knew a guy, you know, back in your days in Kentucky.
35:38
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
35:38
SPEAKER_07: Sometimes you like know a guy that won a raffle or something.
35:41
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
35:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
35:42
SPEAKER_01: Very cool.
35:44
SPEAKER_01: Well, what would you guess is uh the sentencing that they got for these violations that were they white?
35:53
SPEAKER_07: They're both named Bill.
35:55
SPEAKER_01: Well, you guys forgot the first character who was the actual Caltrans construction repair manager.
36:03
SPEAKER_03: Right.
36:04
SPEAKER_01: Shun Fu Keith Yong.
36:06
SPEAKER_01: I don't think he's white.
36:07
SPEAKER_03: No, probably not.
36:08
SPEAKER_03: Although Keith, you know, it might offset the rest of the Asian name.
36:12
SPEAKER_06: It's pretty white.
36:15
SPEAKER_03: White adjacent.
36:17
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's a white kid that decided his parents decided to throw on an Asian name instead.
36:22
SPEAKER_01: Possibly, possibly.
36:23
SPEAKER_07: How much uh how much bribery are we talking about?
36:26
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, that's a good question.
36:27
SPEAKER_01: Uh if he received in the ballpark of a million dollars.
36:31
SPEAKER_07: Total?
36:31
SPEAKER_01: Total.
36:32
SPEAKER_01: It possibly uh allegedly$800,000 in cash,$200,000 in other allegedly.
36:38
SPEAKER_01: That I I what I read, there was variations, so we're just gonna go with approximately a million dollars.
36:44
SPEAKER_03: I mean six months.
36:46
SPEAKER_07: If$200,000 of it, even at like at the top end, if that's home renovations, he's not getting a lot done.
36:52
SPEAKER_07: Like in California,$200,000, that's not gonna take you very far in the bribe business for a home renovation.
36:58
SPEAKER_03: Right.
36:58
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, the walk-in back to the car is like a half a million so yeah, he's not wrong.
37:05
SPEAKER_03: That's who's signing that motherfucker away.
37:08
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna say if I'm a jury and I hear that he pled though.
37:12
SPEAKER_01: He pled.
37:12
SPEAKER_01: So they didn't go to jury trial.
37:14
SPEAKER_01: So they've avoided a trial and they pled.
37:17
SPEAKER_01: So you're gonna get a lesser sentence.
37:19
SPEAKER_01: You're supposed to get a lesser sentence, yeah.
37:21
SPEAKER_07: But if it had gone to trial and I'd been on a jury and I heard a guy got like a bathroom in return.
37:27
SPEAKER_07: I don't know.
37:28
SPEAKER_07: Like, I feel like get having to do a bathroom renovation is punishment, is like already a punishment.
37:35
SPEAKER_03: Have you ever done acid?
37:37
SPEAKER_03: No.
37:37
SPEAKER_03: No, mushrooms?
37:38
SPEAKER_03: No.
37:39
SPEAKER_03: You you look at the world like you tripped a lot in your teenage years, dude.
37:45
SPEAKER_00: He's analytical.
37:47
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
37:48
SPEAKER_00: Let him cook.
37:49
SPEAKER_03: He pulls the shit out that uh no one else is thinking.
37:53
SPEAKER_01: He's cooking on numbers, so just let him cook.
37:55
SPEAKER_03: Right, yeah.
37:56
SPEAKER_07: So I I would think maybe he got six months.
38:01
SPEAKER_07: Not all of them.
38:02
SPEAKER_07: Keith, Keith got six months.
38:03
SPEAKER_01: What about his co-conspirators?
38:05
SPEAKER_07: Um, I think maybe one of them didn't get any.
38:09
SPEAKER_07: His wife got time, because it was in her name, right?
38:12
SPEAKER_07: Ooh, that's good.
38:14
SPEAKER_07: Lock up the wife.
38:15
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
38:17
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, maybe she did a year.
38:20
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
38:21
SPEAKER_03: No way, that's way too much.
38:23
SPEAKER_03: None of them did more than six months.
38:25
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
38:26
SPEAKER_03: There's no way.
38:26
SPEAKER_01: All right.
38:27
SPEAKER_01: Well, here's the big reveal.
38:29
SPEAKER_01: So Keith got 49 months in for federal prison.
38:33
SPEAKER_03: 49 months?
38:35
SPEAKER_01: He had to pay restitution in the ballpark of$980,000.
38:39
SPEAKER_01: Uh, William, op, he had 45 months in federal prison.
38:44
SPEAKER_01: Oh, we got less.
38:45
SPEAKER_01: And he and he had to pay uh$797,000,$797,000.
38:51
SPEAKER_03: They were scamming the government, though, huh?
38:53
SPEAKER_03: I didn't consider that.
38:54
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
38:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
38:56
SPEAKER_03: They had to make an example out of somebody else.
38:58
SPEAKER_01: Bill number two, Bill Miller, he had 78 months in federal prison.
39:02
SPEAKER_01: That might be a typo.
39:04
SPEAKER_01: That might be a typo, but I think it was 78 months and then uh a million dollars in restitution.
39:08
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I did 73.
39:10
SPEAKER_03: So that's crazy.
39:11
SPEAKER_07: He had to pay a million, like they paid more in restitution than they gave in bribes.
39:14
SPEAKER_07: I guess because that takes into account like the other bids that didn't get yeah, I pretty pretty much is my understanding.
39:20
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, I think how do they arrive at like 49 months?
39:23
SPEAKER_07: It seems like you'd do 48 because that's a nice even four years, right?
39:27
SPEAKER_03: Well, because it they probably were considering that you so like if they sentence you to time um for felonies, you don't do the whole amount of time.
39:37
SPEAKER_03: So like they sentenced me to to do seven years, but I only had to do 85% of that.
39:44
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
39:44
SPEAKER_03: So I did six years and twenty-one days.
39:48
SPEAKER_03: Um so they were probably thinking ahead, like, okay, let's give them 49 months, and I it's probably a federal case, no?
39:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, uh no, it should be a state case.
39:55
SPEAKER_03: Because it was the state government.
39:56
SPEAKER_03: State government, yeah.
39:57
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so he probably still had to do 85% of that.
40:00
SPEAKER_03: So it was probably turned out to be like four and a half, three and a half years or whatever.
40:06
SPEAKER_03: Well, complicated.
40:07
SPEAKER_03: It was anti-trust.
40:08
SPEAKER_01: I have to look it up.
40:08
SPEAKER_01: I think I would I would think it was state, but I don't recall.
40:12
SPEAKER_03: I don't I don't know if scamming state government is a federal charge or not.
40:16
SPEAKER_03: Uh I imagine it could be if the feds decided to pick it up.
40:21
SPEAKER_03: Which, if the feds pick your case up, lay it down, take a take a plea.
40:27
SPEAKER_03: Do they have like a 99% conviction rate?
40:30
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, that's good advice.
40:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
40:32
SPEAKER_03: So like if if you really if you really think you're that 1%, bro, you really think you're him and your lawyer's him, like go for it.
40:40
SPEAKER_01: No, it's federal, because it was like I said, antitrust.
40:42
SPEAKER_01: Antitrust.
40:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
40:44
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, antitrust would be a federal offense, usually.
40:48
SPEAKER_03: They were on that fucking island out in Longby or San Pedro doing fucking nothing.
40:53
SPEAKER_03: Is it Long Beach or is it San Pedro?
40:56
SPEAKER_01: For what?
40:56
SPEAKER_03: Where the prison is, the the level one Fed prison.
40:59
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I don't know.
41:01
SPEAKER_03: I want to say it's I wanna say it's San Pedro.
41:05
SPEAKER_01: I have not investigated that.
41:07
SPEAKER_01: So I don't know.
41:08
SPEAKER_03: It's like an island.
41:10
SPEAKER_03: In the middle of the the channel or whatever, and it's just a level one federal prison.
41:15
SPEAKER_01: Like a Rikers kind of island situation.
41:19
SPEAKER_03: Well, I mean Rikers is a little more savage, but But Rikers is an island.
41:23
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
41:24
SPEAKER_03: This is this is like this is where the people we talk about go.
41:27
SPEAKER_01: I see.
41:28
SPEAKER_01: I just meant like in terms of like the topography, if you will.
41:32
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
41:32
SPEAKER_03: Is Rikers like an actual island?
41:34
SPEAKER_01: I believe it's a man-made island, I think.
41:36
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
41:36
SPEAKER_01: I haven't investigated further, but I'm pretty sure I've heard it's an island, I think.
41:40
SPEAKER_07: It sounds like an island.
41:42
SPEAKER_01: I mean, from all my years of watching Law and Order, I believe that it is an island.
41:46
SPEAKER_07: Alcatraz was an island.
41:47
SPEAKER_01: It's true.
41:48
SPEAKER_01: I know that.
41:48
SPEAKER_01: Did you guys this No One Gets Hurt podcast?
41:51
SPEAKER_01: I know, but did you guys hear about the boat that capsized outside of Alcatraz like this week or last week?
41:56
SPEAKER_02: No.
41:57
SPEAKER_01: They were doing a uh memorial service for someone who I guess had committed suicide, and they were I think they were on a pontoon, which is like not a good look for the bay area.
42:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's really rocky, and it I guess they took a wave, and I think one person died.
42:13
SPEAKER_01: I think three people were missing.
42:15
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
42:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I would have been cooked.
42:17
SPEAKER_01: And it's like a it's a murky, watery situation, so it's hard and it's deep.
42:21
SPEAKER_01: It's uh I don't know.
42:22
SPEAKER_03: I would have had a heart attack before I hit the water.
42:24
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it would have at least been fast.
42:27
SPEAKER_01: I would have been like, it's too cold, I need to stay here on the dock.
42:31
SPEAKER_07: I remember they had a prison next to the uh football field where I played youth football.
42:37
SPEAKER_07: And every now and then we would have to like they would cancel the games because there would be an escaped inmate.
42:43
SPEAKER_07: Hell yeah.
42:44
SPEAKER_07: And we were gonna call that the games are postponed until next week because of an escaped inmate.
42:50
SPEAKER_03: We've got a streaker.
42:52
SPEAKER_07: It's like you can see the prison from the football field.
42:55
SPEAKER_01: That's wild.
42:56
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that sounds like that sounds like the the area.
43:01
SPEAKER_01: Now that's different than the University of Iowa.
43:03
SPEAKER_01: University of Iowa has a children's hospital right next to their football stadium so the kids can watch the game from the windows.
43:10
SPEAKER_07: I think I wish they would have at the youth football done the thing at halftime where everybody stands up and waves at the prison like they do at the children's hospital.
43:18
SPEAKER_01: No, there's probably like child predators in there.
43:21
SPEAKER_01: Come on.
43:23
SPEAKER_07: There's a uh there's a booker that booked a comedy show at the prison, and it was like not nobody it paid well, but nobody like wanted to do it, and he would always try to pitch you on his hand, like, ah, it's a captive audience.
43:38
SPEAKER_07: That was like his joke that he would tell you.
43:40
SPEAKER_03: He's not wrong.
43:41
SPEAKER_03: And uh in either sense of the word, he's not wrong.
43:44
SPEAKER_03: Like people in prison love things to do because we hate shit to do, so anything like that, yeah, for sure.
43:53
SPEAKER_07: I remember uh I I knew Ron Hirschberg lived there, uh was in Kentucky at the time, and he did that show and he Would always do a bit about how uh he was doing his set and people would get up, he saw an inmate get up and leave.
44:06
SPEAKER_07: Oh yeah.
44:06
SPEAKER_07: Which was he's he's like they they're just going back to their cell instead of watching my comedy.
44:12
SPEAKER_07: That's that's fucking awful.
44:14
SPEAKER_01: I don't know how you recover from that.
44:17
SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, you know, maybe maybe you gotta go to the bathroom.
44:22
SPEAKER_07: But that was like a uh I don't know, a thing that you would always ask like other comedians and like Louisville comedians have you done the prison yet?
44:29
SPEAKER_01: Because that was I would ask, have you done hard time?
44:32
SPEAKER_03: Right.
44:33
SPEAKER_03: Now were you doing comedy in Kentucky?
44:35
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
44:36
SPEAKER_03: How long have you been doing it?
44:37
SPEAKER_07: Oh ten something years?
44:40
SPEAKER_01: Is that why you moved to California?
44:42
SPEAKER_07: We moved to California for my wife's job.
44:44
SPEAKER_07: Okay.
44:45
SPEAKER_07: But yeah, just kept doing comedy here.
44:47
SPEAKER_07: I don't know.
44:48
SPEAKER_07: I started off in Kentucky.
44:50
SPEAKER_07: Did I was on uh the local uh I made it so high I was on the local news sometimes doing comedy.
44:57
SPEAKER_01: Like morning?
44:58
SPEAKER_07: No, it was like an evening, it was a show called Hey Kentucky, where they covered Kentucky topics, and once every two weeks, me and a couple other guys were in charge of doing some sort of a field piece where we would like go to a Bigfoot convention and interview people, or I talked to the Secretary of State about how to vote.
45:20
SPEAKER_07: Um just it was pretty much whatever they just needed us to fill three to five minutes.
45:26
SPEAKER_01: So you would you ever talk to like Mitch McConnell or Ron Rand Rand or Ron?
45:30
SPEAKER_07: We tried to get Rand Paul on.
45:32
SPEAKER_07: Rand Paul.
45:33
SPEAKER_07: He would not come on.
45:34
SPEAKER_07: His press secretary came on, and it was at the time that they were he was trying to repeal something like a healthcare bill or something, and so I had hand drawn a character that I like in a doctor's hat with a name tag bill that I called healthcare bill, and I gave it to her to give to Rand Paul just as a joke, and then she sent me a picture of him, so he has a very poorly drawn personality.
46:00
SPEAKER_07: She gave it to him.
46:01
SPEAKER_07: That's pretty cool.
46:02
SPEAKER_07: I didn't expect her or want her to do that, but she did.
46:09
SPEAKER_07: But she did it, yeah.
46:11
SPEAKER_01: That would have been an interesting interview, I am sure.
46:16
SPEAKER_07: There was a lot of like me asking questions about healthcare that I don't really know the answers to, and then she was trying to give positions that she didn't really know.
46:25
SPEAKER_07: It was not a very informative interview.
46:27
SPEAKER_01: I was watching the news this morning.
46:29
SPEAKER_01: I don't understand peptides.
46:31
SPEAKER_01: I don't I just it's something I know some of my friends take and like lucky.
46:37
SPEAKER_03: That's good for your stomach, right?
46:38
SPEAKER_03: I think it's nausea, heartburn, indigestion.
46:41
SPEAKER_01: No, that's Pepto.
46:44
SPEAKER_01: Pepto as well.
46:46
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, no, um, but yeah, it sounds like there are these like miracle drugs.
46:49
SPEAKER_01: I don't really understand, but yeah, you have to be um a certain of wealth of wealth to uh uh you know come into contact with these peptides, I guess.
46:59
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
47:00
SPEAKER_01: Anyways, there was a non-biology, non-doctor trying to explain amino acid chains, and I'm just like, this is not your lane.
47:08
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
47:09
SPEAKER_01: Like this is not, I don't think like I can't take you.
47:11
SPEAKER_01: It was like just a no offense to regular reporter, but it's like a regular reporter, and I'm just like, I think we need a biology person to explain or chemist to explain this.
47:19
SPEAKER_03: This isn't even the good kind of acid, though, right?
47:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's I mean, and by the way, it also sounds very complicated.
47:27
SPEAKER_01: Like the people that are super into it, it's like you have to take this with this, and then don't forget to take this, but don't you know if you have and then you have to work out doing this kind of weight, but not this, and I'm like, oh my god, just yeah.
47:36
SPEAKER_03: See, with the good kind of acid, you just put a little strip of paper on your tongue and you're fucking good to go for hours.
47:42
SPEAKER_01: I just much less complex.
47:44
SPEAKER_01: I just saw a really funny Norm McDonald joke about acid.
47:48
SPEAKER_01: We were like just whatever.
47:49
SPEAKER_01: Norm McDonald's is so hilarious.
47:50
SPEAKER_01: He was talking about how like he was told that if he took this acid that he could have the potential of having a flashback in 10, 20, or 30 years.
47:59
SPEAKER_02: I get those.
48:00
SPEAKER_01: Well, he goes, he's like I was like, wait, you mean I can pay one to get two experiences?
48:04
SPEAKER_01: He's like, this is great.
48:05
SPEAKER_01: It's like, and it's been 30 years, I haven't had one flashback, like, all the money back.
48:11
SPEAKER_03: I've had a few, they're actually not fun at all.
48:16
SPEAKER_03: Because, like, okay, so with like something like acid or mushrooms or like DMT, like when you're expecting to get high on it, it's one thing, but when it just out of nowhere, like it is fucking awful.
48:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it is not a fucking good time at all.
48:34
SPEAKER_03: Cause the and it usually happens at the most inconvenient time, like at a PTA meeting or a fucking, you know what I mean, like a family dinner type shit, and then all of a sudden you're fucking sitting at the table like this.
48:46
SPEAKER_01: So you have PTSD at PTA.
48:48
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
48:48
SPEAKER_03: PTA S D.
48:50
SPEAKER_03: Yep.
48:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's what I got.
48:53
SPEAKER_01: The only acid I mess with is citric and glycolic.
48:57
SPEAKER_03: So I feel I feel like you've probably eaten a lot of malic acid also.
49:01
SPEAKER_03: What's that?
49:02
SPEAKER_03: It's kind of like citric acid, wherein like it's sour.
49:06
SPEAKER_03: On a lot of sour candies, they use malic acid and citric acid.
49:10
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
49:10
SPEAKER_03: I used to make edibles.
49:11
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
49:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, citric acid is like so bad for your teeth, but I can't quit it.
49:16
SPEAKER_01: It is, I love it.
49:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I would eat it fucking.
49:19
SPEAKER_01: What's your vice?
49:20
SPEAKER_07: I don't know about any of this stuff.
49:22
SPEAKER_01: Well, welcome to accent talk.
49:26
SPEAKER_01: Um, which is cool.
49:27
SPEAKER_01: What's your vice?
49:27
SPEAKER_03: Kentucky, all I eat and squirrels and shit.
49:30
SPEAKER_03: Like an alkaline.
49:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
49:32
SPEAKER_03: Live an alkaline lifestyle.
49:34
SPEAKER_01: Perfect.
49:34
SPEAKER_01: So Gwyn Gwynneth Paltra was like, I like to start my mornings with alkaline water.
49:39
SPEAKER_01: What I do is I add some lemon to it.
49:41
SPEAKER_01: Like my science friends are like, no.
49:46
SPEAKER_01: That actually does not do what you think it does.
49:52
SPEAKER_01: So you like alkaline.
49:53
SPEAKER_07: That's what you I don't that's the only that's the opposite of acid.
49:56
SPEAKER_07: I know, I know, I know.
49:57
SPEAKER_07: Uh is it it didn't I don't know what alkaline means really, but it sounds like it's in batteries.
50:04
SPEAKER_01: I think you're right.
50:05
SPEAKER_07: Okay.
50:06
SPEAKER_01: But then there's battery acid.
50:08
SPEAKER_07: All right, now we're back to back to where we started.
50:11
SPEAKER_04: Everything leads back to the acid man.
50:14
SPEAKER_07: So batteries are neutral then, because they have both.
50:17
SPEAKER_01: Maybe.
50:18
SPEAKER_03: So you should be able to keep batteries.
50:23
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
50:24
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
50:24
SPEAKER_03: We don't know what's going on inside of batteries.
50:27
SPEAKER_03: It could be tiny little people.
50:28
SPEAKER_07: I saw him ask me how a double-A battery works the other day, and I was like, you're gonna have to leave the room for a little bit, because I can't.
50:34
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, like I need to be alone with my thoughts.
50:36
SPEAKER_07: I don't even know.
50:39
SPEAKER_01: Maybe he's gonna be like an engineer or chemical engineer or something.
50:42
SPEAKER_07: I was like, I don't even know where to begin the explanation.
50:46
SPEAKER_07: Do you remember the batteries?
50:48
SPEAKER_03: I can understand how a car battery works.
50:51
SPEAKER_03: Right.
50:51
SPEAKER_07: It's like a yeah, a little double A or like a triple A, or like Do you remember the batteries where you could uh hurt your thumbs really bad pressing on it and it would tell you how full it is?
51:01
SPEAKER_07: Energizers, yeah.
51:02
SPEAKER_07: I do remember that.
51:03
SPEAKER_03: And that that was bullshit.
51:05
SPEAKER_07: It was never right and it hurt you.
51:07
SPEAKER_07: But yeah, you had to fucking really smash on that shit.
51:11
SPEAKER_07: It would just barely show a green line.
51:13
SPEAKER_07: Yep.
51:14
SPEAKER_01: Uh it's funny thinking about finger smashing.
51:17
SPEAKER_01: One one thing that I grew up with two older brothers, and then uh one of them was an electronics class.
51:30
SPEAKER_01: This was in the 80s.
51:31
SPEAKER_01: That's how old I am.
51:32
SPEAKER_07: And they just invented electricity.
51:34
SPEAKER_01: They just became a thing.
51:38
SPEAKER_01: He had a one of his projects was a shock box, like a little electric shock box.
51:43
SPEAKER_01: So it was like this little like acrylic box, and then they had all the parts inside, and then they had these two metal pieces on the top.
51:48
SPEAKER_01: And if you touched, like two people would touch it with like Zapio, right?
51:51
SPEAKER_01: Like, uh so my brothers are very smart individuals and uh figured out how to maximize the shock value.
51:59
SPEAKER_01: And they were like all proud and showed my dad.
52:01
SPEAKER_01: And my dad was like, you know that your sister is gonna want to like get in on this action, right?
52:07
SPEAKER_01: Like, you if if you don't die at the back down, you're you're gonna be in some situations.
52:11
SPEAKER_01: Because like he knew I was so I my brothers are 9, 11 years older than me.
52:14
SPEAKER_01: So, like, imagine like uh he's you know, whatever teenager, I'm not a teenager, and like this little kid, like get fully like, you know.
52:21
SPEAKER_01: So that, but no, my brother, he would torture me with that.
52:24
SPEAKER_01: That was my one of the torture devices.
52:26
SPEAKER_07: This was for a school project in high school.
52:28
SPEAKER_01: It was a high school project for her.
52:30
SPEAKER_07: It was it was a different time back then, huh?
52:31
SPEAKER_07: Where they were just letting kids make tasers and bring them to school.
52:34
SPEAKER_01: Pretty much, yeah.
52:35
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, Osha wasn't even invented when she was in high school.
52:38
SPEAKER_01: So I I learned about um I you know I'm I was like uh probably third grader.
52:45
SPEAKER_01: I learned about United Nations because of my brothers, because um they had this game, and this is like I would love this to be a joke, but it just will not it's more of a story than it is a joke.
52:55
SPEAKER_01: But uh I was bothering them all the time, never not bothering them.
53:01
SPEAKER_01: And my oldest brother Tommy was like he's like, We're gonna play uh United Nations.
53:05
SPEAKER_01: You wanna play the game?
53:06
SPEAKER_01: I was like, Yeah, sure.
53:08
SPEAKER_01: He's like, okay, so you'll be uh USA.
53:10
SPEAKER_07: Is that he's he said, Do you want to play and not UN?
53:15
SPEAKER_07: He should have said UN this guy.
53:19
SPEAKER_03: I like this game.
53:22
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna tell him and he's gonna love it, okay?
53:24
SPEAKER_01: Uh but he's like, yo, you want to play UN to play UN?
53:27
SPEAKER_01: Right.
53:27
SPEAKER_01: And uh he's like, okay, you be USA.
53:29
SPEAKER_01: I was like, that's great.
53:30
SPEAKER_01: He's like, I'm gonna be Russia, Craig, my other brother.
53:32
SPEAKER_01: He'll be China.
53:33
SPEAKER_01: So Russia, China is like, okay, how do you how do you play the game?
53:36
SPEAKER_01: He's like, okay, America has to ask for permission before they can enter the space of the country, and we each had our own bedroom.
53:43
SPEAKER_01: So like, okay, and they're like, try it.
53:44
SPEAKER_01: It's like, okay, America requests permission to enter China.
53:47
SPEAKER_01: China's like, no, boom, closes the door.
53:49
SPEAKER_05: Like, well, this isn't very fun.
53:52
SPEAKER_05: It's like, okay.
53:54
SPEAKER_01: Like, well, America requests permission to enter Russia.
53:56
SPEAKER_01: No, boom.
53:57
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, well, this game sucks.
53:59
SPEAKER_07: It's a good bit though.
54:00
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
54:00
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, but I I was ahead of the pace for a lot of things because my brothers are so much older than me now.
54:06
SPEAKER_07: You learned about diplomacy and tensions between the US and Russia and stuff.
54:10
SPEAKER_01: And torture devices.
54:17
SPEAKER_01: They weren't Japan.
54:20
SPEAKER_03: Tomato, potato, at the end of it.
54:22
SPEAKER_01: I would just threaten.
54:22
SPEAKER_01: I would just threaten with it.
54:23
SPEAKER_01: I would just be like, I'm gonna get you, and like, no, not do it.
54:27
SPEAKER_01: That's history, folks.
54:28
SPEAKER_01: Look it up.
54:29
SPEAKER_01: Uh, it's good.
54:30
SPEAKER_01: So, anyways, I think we're getting close to the end here.
54:32
SPEAKER_01: I'm so sad because this has been a fun one.
54:34
SPEAKER_01: Uh, but I mean, I don't do.
54:36
SPEAKER_01: Do you have a quick one or you're good?
54:38
SPEAKER_01: You're gonna save it for a rainy day?
54:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
54:40
SPEAKER_01: Okay, cool.
54:43
SPEAKER_01: Uh, do you have any shows coming up?
54:45
SPEAKER_07: Uh I don't know.
54:48
SPEAKER_03: Probably.
54:49
SPEAKER_03: I feel that in my fucking soul.
54:51
SPEAKER_03: I know I have two, and I can't tell you the dates.
54:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
54:54
SPEAKER_01: You have Road Dogs coming up.
54:56
SPEAKER_03: Uh yeah, but I don't know the date.
54:58
SPEAKER_01: August 12th.
54:59
SPEAKER_03: And I have Dennis Fargus too.
55:00
SPEAKER_03: I think that's the 27th.
55:01
SPEAKER_03: Oh, all right.
55:01
SPEAKER_01: Maybe you guys are gonna wait, when is your Dennis Fargus?
55:03
SPEAKER_03: Uh sometime in September.
55:05
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
55:05
SPEAKER_03: Oh, mine's in August.
55:06
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
55:07
SPEAKER_01: I might be on because I think I might be doing with him in September, I think.
55:11
SPEAKER_01: I can't recall, but I'll have to double check.
55:14
SPEAKER_01: That would be fun.
55:14
SPEAKER_03: Looking forward to it.
55:15
SPEAKER_03: Shout out to Dennis Fargus, man.
55:17
SPEAKER_03: That's my guy.
55:17
SPEAKER_03: Love it.
55:18
SPEAKER_01: Dennis Vargas is awesome.
55:19
SPEAKER_03: He's fucking hilarious.
55:20
SPEAKER_01: We were just at a place in Mission Viejo that was kind of um It was a tough room.
55:27
SPEAKER_01: It was kind of presented as it was a show.
55:30
SPEAKER_07: Right.
55:31
SPEAKER_01: But it had more open mic vibes.
55:33
SPEAKER_01: It was I thought it was good.
55:34
SPEAKER_01: I honestly thought it was good.
55:35
SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna hate on it, but I'm just saying it was No, it wasn't bad.
55:38
SPEAKER_03: It was just like you said, it was presented one way and then turned out to feel another way.
55:42
SPEAKER_01: Because I was like, oh, do you have to like do you have to like go and sign up?
55:47
SPEAKER_01: Oh no, you're on the list.
55:48
SPEAKER_01: So it was like, okay, so it seems like you know, whatever.
55:50
SPEAKER_01: But Dennis, he he was the he cooked that night.
55:53
SPEAKER_01: He was he was killing.
55:54
SPEAKER_03: He for sure had the best set of things.
55:55
SPEAKER_03: He had the best setup.
55:56
SPEAKER_03: He fucking crushed.
55:57
SPEAKER_03: He had he was he's so funny.
55:59
SPEAKER_01: And when he when he gets into it, like when he starts to get comfortable and you can tell once he catches the pocket, forget about it.
56:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, he's good.
56:08
SPEAKER_03: So really fucking funny.
56:09
SPEAKER_01: Do you want to share that you also agree with that?
56:11
SPEAKER_01: Or yes.
56:14
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
56:15
SPEAKER_03: Agreed.
56:17
SPEAKER_07: Anyways.
56:18
SPEAKER_01: All right.
56:18
SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you so much for being here.
56:20
SPEAKER_01: Oh, what and what's your Instagram handle?
56:22
SPEAKER_07: Oh, at the real Gucci, not knockoff.
56:24
SPEAKER_01: Love it.
56:25
SPEAKER_07: Is it?
56:25
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
56:26
SPEAKER_07: That's fire.
56:28
unknown: That's so good.
56:29
SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you so much for joining us.
56:31
SPEAKER_01: Uh, make sure to like and subscribe.
56:33
SPEAKER_01: Follow Tyler Gucci.
56:35
SPEAKER_03: Or I'm a beach O S.
56:36
SPEAKER_03: Have a good one.
56:39
SPEAKER_04: Peace.