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Mindset and Resilience: Moving Beyond Grief in Midlife with Lisa Boehm · The Menopause Disruptor Podcast

0:00
Lisa Boehm: We definitely start with the mindset piece and the belief, if you don't believe you can do something, I don't care what tools you have in your toolbox, you will not be able to do them.
0:12
Lisa Boehm: Every single, Olympic athlete goes to the Olympics.
0:19
Lisa Boehm: With the visualization and the belief that they can stand on that podium.
0:26
Lisa Boehm: So we too have to have belief that we can do something before we even start.
0:33
Lisa Boehm: Because if we don't believe it's possible, guess what?
0:37
Lisa Boehm: It's not going to happen.
0:38
Mary Lee: Welcome to All Things Menopausal.
0:40
Mary Lee: My name is Mary, and I'm a menopause doula.
0:43
Mary Lee: As a doula, we augment the healthcare profession as menopause support practitioners.
0:48
Mary Lee: I created this podcast, to build community for women going through menopause transition and to foster resilience through the stories that connect, educate, and empower.
1:00
Mary Lee: These stories are real, raw, relatable, And they're very much relevant to the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual whole person that we are.
1:09
Mary Lee: In our midlife transition, we are not alone.
1:12
Mary Lee: Each week, you will hear from courageous, vulnerable, and knowledgeable guests sharing their passion, their journey, and lived experience.
1:21
Mary Lee: These are little clues to finding solutions to our unique situation.
1:26
Mary Lee: The menopause symptoms are personal, but the experience is universal.
1:32
Mary Lee: I recorded this episode with Lisa a couple of months ago when I was really suffering from COVID.
1:39
Mary Lee: And on this day in particular, it was really bad.
1:42
Mary Lee: I had kept my mute on for most of the conversation because my coughing wouldn't stop.
1:48
Mary Lee: All that to say I had left the recording of the intro and the outro for much later on.
1:54
Mary Lee: And just this week I've been prepping and editing for this episode.
1:58
Mary Lee: So I went back and I listened to it.
2:02
Mary Lee: And of course it's been a good It's been a solid two months.
2:04
Mary Lee: So I forgot a lot of the great conversation I shared with Lisa.
2:09
Mary Lee: So when I replayed the episode and listened to her conversation intently, I got so much out of it.
2:15
Mary Lee: And I really think that you are going to get so much out of it too, my dear listeners.
2:20
Mary Lee: There is an enormous amount of information, advice and guidance, and honestly, just some plain old simple tips and strategies to deal with our midlife transformation.
2:31
Mary Lee: And truly, it all begins with mindset.
2:34
Mary Lee: Mindset and believing that whatever is going on in our life, whether we're facing some sort of trauma, grief, or the loss of someone near and dear to us, or just grief in general over the loss of our youth, it all begins with believing that we're going to be okay and that we can take these little baby steps, small, manageable steps to integrate into our life Just every day move that yardstick forward and get back to that place where we want to be and that is ultimately to be happy and to be healthy and This is it.
3:11
Mary Lee: This is my intro to you That's all I really wanted to share was to reflect on going back and listening to this interview with Lisa So sit back and enjoy And come to it with an open mindset, lean into Lisa's story as she pours out her heart, losing her precious teenage daughter, and then she manages to turn life around and find joy again.
3:36
Mary Lee: If she can do this amidst all that turmoil, the anxiety and the trauma, even that trauma that comes with the midlife crisis.
3:44
Mary Lee: Transition.
3:45
Mary Lee: Then we can all do it.
3:46
Mary Lee: So have faith and take comfort.
3:48
Mary Lee: Know that we're all in this together.
3:51
Mary Lee: So before we get started, here's something you should know about Lisa.
3:56
Mary Lee: Lisa is an author, a speaker, and a podcaster who shares the power of hope and human connection in her presentations and on her podcast, Rising Strong.
4:07
Mary Lee: Mental health and resilience.
4:09
Mary Lee: Her podcast explores the depths of mental well being, burnout, stress, anxiety, and overwhelm, and of course grief.
4:17
Mary Lee: Through candid conversations and expert insights and personal experiences, Lisa uncovers strategies for navigating life's challenges and cultivating inner strength.
4:28
Mary Lee: And as a resilience coach, she uses Her unique 1 percent shift strategy to empower women to make small, impactful changes that lead to significant transformation.
4:39
Mary Lee: So this episode kicks off with Lisa, who is also a health coach with a long career in oncology, sharing her journey of overcoming the loss of her teenage child and years of mental health struggles.
4:53
Mary Lee: A tragedy that she so tenderly was able to capture in a book on grief.
4:58
Mary Lee: And that book, Journey to Healing, A Mother's Guide to Navigating Child Loss, is available on Amazon.
5:05
Mary Lee: You can also find Lisa on LinkedIn.
5:07
Mary Lee: It's Lisa K Bohm Speaker Author.
5:13
Mary Lee: And then her website is risingstrongpodcast.
5:17
Mary Lee: com.
5:17
Mary Lee: And check out her website.
5:19
Mary Lee: She has several free resources for midlife moms.
5:24
Lisa Boehm: Welcome Lisa to all things menopausal.
5:27
Lisa Boehm: And I'm really happy to have you here.
5:29
Lisa Boehm: My pleasure, Mary.
5:30
Lisa Boehm: Thank you.
5:31
Lisa Boehm: before we start unpacking how we can adapt, overcome and be resilient during the menopause years, tell us a little bit about your backstory and what brought you to where you are today.
5:44
Lisa Boehm: It's a little bit of a convoluted bumpy story, actually I'll give you the Coles note version because we could be here for hours, but, about 15 years ago, I decided that I wanted to, do something more for myself.
6:00
Lisa Boehm: I have a long career in oncology.
6:03
Lisa Boehm: I've been there for 33 years.
6:05
Lisa Boehm: Love it, love my patients, but wanted something a little bit more and had discovered in my own journey, the power of fitness and nutrition to handle my own mental health issues.
6:18
Lisa Boehm: I'd struggled with anxiety and depression, oh boy, for decades.
6:23
Lisa Boehm: So really found some, helpful benefits there.
6:28
Lisa Boehm: So I became a health coach and I helped busy, overwhelmed women find time to become healthy.
6:35
Lisa Boehm: And that was great.
6:37
Lisa Boehm: It was great until the unspeakable happened.
6:41
Lisa Boehm: And on a regular Tuesday night on December of 2015, we got the knock on the door that every parent fears.
6:50
Lisa Boehm: And there I stood in my front entryway in my pajamas, expecting my daughter to be coming through the door.
6:56
Lisa Boehm: But instead, there was a police officer and a lady in black who I later learned was the coroner who had come to tell us that our daughter had been killed in a head on collision.
7:07
Lisa Boehm: And thank you, as anybody can imagine, that was the moment in time that my life became, very definitively divided into before.
7:23
Lisa Boehm: And after Katie died and it, put every single one of us in my family just in a tailspin.
7:33
Lisa Boehm: A little bit of time went by and I don't know that you ever heal from grief of that magnitude.
7:40
Lisa Boehm: I always say it's like a suitcase that I carry around with me every day.
7:45
Lisa Boehm: But after a period of time and struggling to find positive, resources.
7:53
Lisa Boehm: I just couldn't find any.
7:55
Lisa Boehm: There were tons of books, tons of videos, tons of things that just said, doom and gloom, your life is over.
8:02
Lisa Boehm: This is the worst possible thing that a human can endure.
8:05
Lisa Boehm: I even had friends come up to me.
8:08
Lisa Boehm: Face to face and say, Oh, Lisa, you know that your marriage is over, right?
8:14
Lisa Boehm: Oh, Lisa, you know that your 15 year old son, yeah, he's going to face a lifetime of mental health challenges.
8:22
Lisa Boehm: And he's probably going to be addicted to drugs.
8:25
Lisa Boehm: Like these were the kinds of messages and maybe they were well intentioned.
8:32
Lisa Boehm: But I thought, okay.
8:34
Lisa Boehm: If I'm going to have to live with this pain for the rest of my life, I'm darn going to find a quote unquote, more positive way to deal with this.
8:44
Lisa Boehm: I need hope.
8:46
Lisa Boehm: I need encouragement and I couldn't find what I needed.
8:51
Lisa Boehm: So I made it.
8:52
Lisa Boehm: I wrote a book.
8:54
Lisa Boehm: I created a grief support circle just for grieving mothers who wanted hope and healing because not everybody does.
9:03
Lisa Boehm: But for anybody who wanted to focus on living with their grief because we got to figure out the with the grief part, I created that and then just this past summer, my son, who's now 24, he had gone through a bad breakup, his grandfather passed away, our dog that had been with us for Basically, as long as my son could remember was really, sick and just, he had a whole bunch of bad stuff going on and he was struggling and his mental health was in the toilet.
9:39
Lisa Boehm: And it was just a big wake up call for me that I had done.
9:44
Lisa Boehm: I had put all this energy into working on myself, which we all know we can't pour from an empty cup.
9:50
Lisa Boehm: I could be a better mom.
9:51
Lisa Boehm: I could be a better wife, better everything if I took care of me.
9:55
Lisa Boehm: So I don't regret that.
9:57
Lisa Boehm: But it was like a holy moly moment when I thought my kid, my, my surviving kid needs me.
10:08
Lisa Boehm: And it was looking around at my co workers, I'm a frontline healthcare provider, and not to say that we endured the worst of COVID.
10:17
Lisa Boehm: Man, it knocked everybody on their butts.
10:20
Lisa Boehm: But working on the front lines when we didn't know when they were building, a morgue outside in the back parking lot of the hospital, we had to walk past that every day.
10:31
Lisa Boehm: It was hard, especially in the beginning when we didn't know much.
10:34
Lisa Boehm: So I started looking at my coworkers, my neighbors, my community, my, my immediate family, my own brother it seemed like we were going from one epidemic straight into another.
10:45
Lisa Boehm: And the other being the, epidemic of mental health.
10:49
Lisa Boehm: So it's, really been, like I say, a long and convoluted road as to how I got here.
10:56
Lisa Boehm: But that is just a little bit of my backstory.
11:01
Lisa Boehm: Thank you so much for sharing.
11:03
Lisa Boehm: I applaud you and your strength right there, just to be able to stand in your power and know that you have a purpose still to serve and then find, dig deep and find that hope, the courage, the resilience to pivot and move on.
11:19
Lisa Boehm: And I.
11:20
Lisa Boehm: I'm in enamored of who you've become today and to share and then show other women, particularly in her midlife, how we can too, is we're not all going to face something so traumatic, but the weight of that transition is for many very traumatizing.
11:42
Lisa Boehm: So let's, look at that a little bit.
11:44
Lisa Boehm: A little bit more.
11:45
Lisa Boehm: And I see that this is, your week that you were actually focusing on the mental health and the midlife.
11:51
Lisa Boehm: And I listened to your podcast about the wine and oh boy, do I, about the effects of wine and just a little Piquito sip and what it can do wreaking havoc.
12:07
Lisa Boehm: But let's talk about that.
12:08
Lisa Boehm: Let's talk about the program that you have built, the speaking engagements, the workshops that you offer for others.
12:16
Lisa Boehm: And we're probably talking not just women, but Men as well.
12:20
Lisa Boehm: Yeah.
12:22
Lisa Boehm: It's, so hard to find an, I hate even to, use the word niche, but this is what they, any coach is going to tell you, you've gotta speak to one person, right?
12:35
Lisa Boehm: Is, if you're speaking to everybody, you're speaking nobody.
12:37
Lisa Boehm: And I understand that, but I feel like so much of my message.
12:42
Lisa Boehm: Whether it's whether I'm talking about grief, whether I'm talking about healthy lifestyles, whether I'm talking about midlife struggles, mental health, take any of it resilience, it can be applied to anybody.
12:55
Lisa Boehm: But I think that what all through all of this, like I say convoluted path, but there are some definite underlying commonalities through all of this.
13:09
Lisa Boehm: And the first one I would say for sure, hands down was mindset.
13:13
Lisa Boehm: Yeah.
13:15
Lisa Boehm: I think when we are, when life's going great we're sitting on a beach in Maui, we're sipping Mai Tais watching the sunset and the dolphins and the whales.
13:27
Lisa Boehm: That's great.
13:28
Lisa Boehm: But our mindset is in a good place because everything is in a good place.
13:34
Lisa Boehm: But when things start going sideways, it's so easy to get in our heads.
13:40
Lisa Boehm: For instance, in my situation after Katie died and people were telling me my marriage was over and my son was facing this horrible future.
13:51
Lisa Boehm: I could have listened to that, but instead the message or the, self-talk that I was doing was like, no thank You I, just did a podcast yesterday and we were talking about the power of perspective.
14:10
Lisa Boehm: Yeah.
14:11
Lisa Boehm: And as I said, I have worked in oncology for a very long time.
14:17
Lisa Boehm: I have seen a lot.
14:20
Lisa Boehm: And when Katie first died, I was so angry.
14:25
Lisa Boehm: So angry.
14:27
Lisa Boehm: I thought, she's 17 and a half.
14:29
Lisa Boehm: She's got the rest of her life to live.
14:32
Lisa Boehm: She was a rule follower.
14:34
Lisa Boehm: She had just been accepted into nursing in college.
14:38
Lisa Boehm: She had a 95 percent average.
14:40
Lisa Boehm: She was volunteering.
14:42
Lisa Boehm: She was a good kid and a good person.
14:45
Lisa Boehm: And you don't have to look very far, unfortunately, to see crappy people doing horrible things.
14:52
Lisa Boehm: And I just felt like her death was so unjust.
14:57
Lisa Boehm: But then there was a part of me that was like, wait a minute, Lisa, now this didn't happen right away.
15:03
Lisa Boehm: This was an in time thing, how many families have you seen at the cancer clinic where they bring their small child in and they sit with them day after day, week after week, month after month, years, sometimes of treatment, and then sometimes they don't get to take their child home.
15:25
Lisa Boehm: And I thought, instead of saying, I only got 17 and a half years.
15:31
Lisa Boehm: The language and the thinking that I do around that now is, I got 17 and a half years with Katie.
15:38
Lisa Boehm: She was healthy every second of it.
15:40
Lisa Boehm: She was happy.
15:40
Lisa Boehm: We got to travel.
15:41
Lisa Boehm: We got to do some really cool things and make some amazing memories.
15:46
Lisa Boehm: So things like this, like mindset is so powerful.
15:52
Lisa Boehm: It's so easy to take a look at our lives, even if nothing big and traumatic is happening right now, but maybe things at work are a little bit annoying, or maybe your husband didn't do the laundry.
16:05
Lisa Boehm: Like he said, he was whatever.
16:07
Lisa Boehm: It's so easy to go down the bunny hole of negativity.
16:11
Lisa Boehm: Yeah.
16:11
Lisa Boehm: Yeah.
16:11
Lisa Boehm: Yeah.
16:11
Lisa Boehm: And when we start looking at those things, that's all we see.
16:16
Lisa Boehm: But if we can stop doing that, even for a day, to stop complaining and to look for the positive in everything, challenge yourself, you start to realize something, you start to realize my life is actually pretty good.
16:33
Lisa Boehm: There's some bad parts.
16:36
Lisa Boehm: But overall, it's pretty good.
16:39
Lisa Boehm: So mindset has been huge.
16:42
Lisa Boehm: And I would say the other second thing, the close second, I'm not sure which comes first, is a healthy lifestyle.
16:49
Lisa Boehm: And I know that sounds cheesy and everybody says it and it's probably overplayed, but my God, it's the honest to God truth.
16:58
Lisa Boehm: Honest to God truth.
17:01
Lisa Boehm: I remember hauling my sorry butt out the door many days to go for a walk in the early days after Katie died.
17:09
Lisa Boehm: I did not feel like doing that.
17:11
Lisa Boehm: I did not.
17:13
Lisa Boehm: But my husband usually dragged me out the door and there was not a single walk that I came home feeling worse.
17:20
Lisa Boehm: Every time I came in the door, I was like, I feel a bit better.
17:26
Lisa Boehm: Good.
17:27
Lisa Boehm: Yeah.
17:27
Lisa Boehm: And same thing with healthy eating, mind you, I was a health coach right before Katie died.
17:34
Lisa Boehm: Healthy living was, a part of my life as it was, but.
17:39
Lisa Boehm: I could just feel myself if I was not eating healthy, if I was having too much wine any of these unhealthy coping mechanisms, I it was just like, okay, that made things way worse.
17:54
Lisa Boehm: So I would say those two were my, main go tos.
17:59
Lisa Boehm: Yeah.
18:00
Lisa Boehm: So when you're working with your clients now, obviously you're able to put them in the right perspective.
18:10
Lisa Boehm: Is that nothing can be so bad as, but when they first meet you with a sense of first of all, I would imagine that by the time they've come to see you, they're ready to make some shifts, to make some changes, to find that hope.
18:28
Lisa Boehm: But when they are dumping with this heavy baggage and are resisting because they just feel like they've, there's no hope for whether it's to lose weight or to improve some aspect of their life.
18:43
Lisa Boehm: What is the first adjustment, if you will, that you focus on?
18:48
Lisa Boehm: You know what, I find a couple of questions.
18:52
Lisa Boehm: Typically are self discovery questions for people.
18:57
Lisa Boehm: I think that's where it's at.
18:58
Lisa Boehm: I you and I can tell people things until we're blue in the face, but I think when we can discover them on our own, that's where the magic happens.
19:06
Lisa Boehm: But just asking people on a scale of one to 10, how are you feeling about X right now?
19:15
Lisa Boehm: And they'll give you a number.
19:18
Lisa Boehm: Where would you like to be on a scale of one to 10?
19:20
Lisa Boehm: Like, how would you like to feel in terms of being having more peace and happiness and joy or whatever it is that they're looking for, most people say they'd like to be a nine, 10, eight and a half for sure.
19:35
Lisa Boehm: Okay.
19:37
Lisa Boehm: How what would you think if we could get you from this point to that point?
19:43
Lisa Boehm: Do you want to stay at a six or a five or a three or whatever it is, or do you want to, what would what would you say if I could give you four steps to get you there, four steps starting today and things that are small and digestible.
20:04
Lisa Boehm: I think we live in this world of instant gratification, right?
20:09
Lisa Boehm: Like you, you think, Oh I'd really to lose this tummy for that dress I've got to wear to that wedding, and we want it to happen now in a week.
20:22
Lisa Boehm: We might've been able to do that when we were 20 but not so much now.
20:28
Lisa Boehm: And we just get frustrated, instead of focusing on these great big giant leaps in a week.
20:37
Lisa Boehm: What if we could make a 1 percent shift?
20:45
Lisa Boehm: You might think 1%, like, where's that going to get me?
20:49
Lisa Boehm: You think about it.
20:50
Lisa Boehm: What if you made a 1 percent shift for 100 days?
20:56
Lisa Boehm: Where does that get you, right?
20:59
Lisa Boehm: So we can take big, things and we can break them down into small manageable bite size actions that we can take every day.
21:11
Lisa Boehm: That's my love.
21:13
Lisa Boehm: I love it.
21:14
Lisa Boehm: As you say, even on your website, small manageable adjustments, which ironically is S M A.
21:22
Lisa Boehm: So That's As in smart goals.
21:24
Lisa Boehm: I was looking at that going small, manageable adjustments, which are, and you just gave it like relevant and time bound.
21:32
Lisa Boehm: So it's all about going back to that.
21:36
Lisa Boehm: Like you said, is as cheesy as it might sound smart goals.
21:41
Lisa Boehm: Yeah.
21:42
Lisa Boehm: So what is you talk about four steps?
21:46
Lisa Boehm: Do you have a specific formula?
21:49
Lisa Boehm: Not necessarily.
21:50
Lisa Boehm: I think it really depends on each individual person, what their goals are, and all of that kind of thing.
21:59
Lisa Boehm: But we definitely start with the mindset piece and the belief, if you don't believe you can do something, I don't care what tools you have in your toolbox, you will not be able to do them.
22:12
Lisa Boehm: Every single, Olympic athlete goes to the Olympics.
22:18
Lisa Boehm: With the visualization and the belief that they can stand on that podium.
22:26
Lisa Boehm: Love it.
22:28
Lisa Boehm: So we too have to have belief that we can do something before we even start.
22:35
Lisa Boehm: Because if we don't believe it's possible, guess what?
22:39
Lisa Boehm: It's not going to happen.
22:40
Lisa Boehm: Yeah.
22:42
Lisa Boehm: I found it really interesting too.
22:44
Lisa Boehm: And, I'm just as guilty of it with the midlife is that we, don't do overwhelm very well.
22:51
Lisa Boehm: And that should be our motto is I don't do overwhelmed, but overwhelmed seems to come a lot, easier than it did at almost any other stage of our lives.
23:02
Lisa Boehm: Even in the tumultuous teen years is that so much external stimuli from the workplace, be it.
23:11
Lisa Boehm: Even within our communities or in the home or stimulation at home from television.
23:17
Lisa Boehm: I just found digital world, social media.
23:20
Lisa Boehm: That's another area of overwhelm and a whole topic onto itself.
23:25
Lisa Boehm: So I've come to notice that a lot of weight is being put on the external factors.
23:31
Lisa Boehm: If only I could remove this, if only I didn't have overwhelmed from this, if only I could work, less.
23:38
Lisa Boehm: And.
23:39
Lisa Boehm: We're shifting from it's outside of us and expecting change on the outside, but as you said, that period that journey of self discovery.
23:53
Lisa Boehm: So walk us through how you would take as a health coach, take someone through, getting them back into that driver's seat saying hey look you know girl, you've got this, you're in control because As Eckhart Tolle says, and the power of now is that the key is in here.
24:11
Lisa Boehm: We have the solution.
24:13
Lisa Boehm: Absolutely.
24:15
Lisa Boehm: I think it's getting crystal clear on what they do want, right?
24:18
Lisa Boehm: Because I think the word overwhelm is like greige, right?
24:24
Lisa Boehm: Like it's so vague, overwhelm.
24:27
Lisa Boehm: Like I think we can all identify with it.
24:29
Lisa Boehm: We know what it means and what it feels like, but what is it?
24:33
Lisa Boehm: Yeah.
24:34
Lisa Boehm: That's overwhelming you and granted, we can't fix all the things, but what is the most overwhelming part of your life?
24:45
Lisa Boehm: Is it, the housework?
24:47
Lisa Boehm: Is it, that you've, got a workload in the workplace?
24:53
Lisa Boehm: That's just too much.
24:56
Lisa Boehm: Is it the kids?
24:57
Lisa Boehm: What is it specifically?
24:59
Lisa Boehm: And then the first thing that we actually do is we sit down and we itemize everything that they can think of that they do as part of that pain point.
25:10
Lisa Boehm: So let's take work for example, why do I feel so overwhelmed with work?
25:16
Lisa Boehm: And I usually send them home with this homework because in the moment, I think we can't list all 57 things that are overwhelming us about one thing, right?
25:25
Lisa Boehm: Yeah.
25:25
Lisa Boehm: But over the course of the week to identify everything that's overwhelming them, and sometimes it's a short list and sometimes it's a really long list.
25:35
Lisa Boehm: And then we start pulling it apart.
25:39
Lisa Boehm: And I think as women, I don't know if this was messaging from the 90s or where it comes from, or if it's honestly something that's innate, we're pretty good at multitasking.
25:52
Lisa Boehm: I think the data now suggests that multitasking is actually not good and that we're not doing anything really well.
26:00
Lisa Boehm: But I think when you compare men to women can do it much better.
26:06
Lisa Boehm: And I think it's the mom thing, right?
26:07
Lisa Boehm: Like we can have the laundry going, we can make a doctor's appointment, we can have supper going, we can do all the things right.
26:15
Lisa Boehm: But should we have to do all the things at one time?
26:19
Lisa Boehm: So we really look at listing out things as actually I need to do this thing.
26:26
Lisa Boehm: Or can I delegate?
26:29
Lisa Boehm: That's a big one.
26:30
Lisa Boehm: And it's so hard for so many of us, asking for help.
26:36
Lisa Boehm: Or can I delete this thing?
26:40
Lisa Boehm: That's powerful too.
26:42
Lisa Boehm: One of the challenges that I give a lot of my clients is to remove things from their plate.
26:50
Lisa Boehm: Take a look at this list you've just given me.
26:52
Lisa Boehm: Can you give any of this to your admin assistant?
26:55
Lisa Boehm: Can you tell your boss that, collecting data on the spreadsheet that nobody looks at anymore, that maybe we could just park this for a while?
27:03
Lisa Boehm: Cause we're not whatever it is, what can you take off your plate?
27:08
Lisa Boehm: And at first there's this, hesitation, I think everything I do is important, probably is, but really take a look at what you can delete.
27:20
Lisa Boehm: And then we will often blossom out from that too, if we're able to work through that and then things will bubble up that are associated with work like, yeah, my kids teacher always likes me to go on the field trips with them once a month on Friday, and it really cuts into my productivity time.
27:43
Lisa Boehm: What are we going to do about that?
27:46
Lisa Boehm: What are some other ways that we can continue to be a part of that and just, I think I find asking questions.
27:55
Lisa Boehm: And people, end up discovering the answer themselves.
28:01
Lisa Boehm: You just asked enough curious questions to get the conversation going again in the process of self discovery.
28:07
Lisa Boehm: So clever.
28:09
Lisa Boehm: So it's interesting.
28:11
Lisa Boehm: We're at that age in the midlife too.
28:13
Lisa Boehm: And this is the part where grief comes in where we're that sandwich generation caught in between our aging parents.
28:21
Lisa Boehm: and children who still not have left the home yet.
28:27
Lisa Boehm: Or they haven't we're, still pretty much a prominent role, parenting role in their lives.
28:35
Lisa Boehm: And then we lose our parents that we've been taking care of or, not, but we're at that age where we're going to start realizing that our parents are gone, live forever.
28:46
Lisa Boehm: And that grief can have such a heavy toll.
28:49
Lisa Boehm: So we feel like, okay, I'm managing my menopause.
28:52
Lisa Boehm: And then.
28:53
Lisa Boehm: Whammo, a parent or a loved one or a relative passes and it's 10 step backwards and the menopause journey is bad enough as it is.
29:04
Lisa Boehm: So what are you helping your clients with when they're transitioning through that menopause and then do have to inevitably face the grief that comes with the loss of a parent?
29:16
Lisa Boehm: And I will just add on to that as well.
29:19
Lisa Boehm: As a grief educator there are many, different kinds of grief that we experience in life and in menopause.
29:30
Lisa Boehm: And I will answer your question about loss of a parent, but so many things that we go through, like we're probably grieving our youth.
29:40
Lisa Boehm: Yes, we are, grieving different changes in our health.
29:44
Lisa Boehm: I don't know about you, but my joints, my poor old knees all these things like I, I miss that.
29:52
Lisa Boehm: Friends are starting to have not so good diagnoses, right?
30:01
Lisa Boehm: We're mourning all kinds of things.
30:03
Lisa Boehm: Emptiness syndrome is a kind of grief.
30:08
Lisa Boehm: So we've got all these kinds of losses that we're dealing with, and then we might be, as you say, having to face the loss of a parent, or even, the loss.
30:22
Lisa Boehm: There's a name for this and I cannot recall it I'm going to call it ambiguous grief that not might not be the right term but let's say a parent has got dementia or Alzheimer's.
30:32
Lisa Boehm: And we're losing them.
30:35
Lisa Boehm: They might be physically here, but that relationship, that recognition, all of those things, we're losing that.
30:44
Lisa Boehm: That's grief.
30:46
Lisa Boehm: Yes and grief, like we've got so much going on at this stage in life.
30:51
Lisa Boehm: As you said, the sandwich generation and then our hormones, we are not wired the same as we were 20 years ago.
31:01
Lisa Boehm: A lot of us can't handle as much as we used to.
31:06
Lisa Boehm: And I don't think that should be a negative thing.
31:09
Lisa Boehm: That's just a fact.
31:10
Lisa Boehm: It's just a fact.
31:12
Lisa Boehm: So then you've got this other layer of grief on and it, I always recommend that my clients go back to basics.
31:22
Lisa Boehm: So a couple of things, self care, and I'm not talking about getting your nails done, although that's fun or massages.
31:28
Lisa Boehm: That's fun.
31:29
Lisa Boehm: I'm talking about the basics, getting fresh air every day.
31:35
Lisa Boehm: getting enough sleep.
31:37
Lisa Boehm: And I'm going to get on my soapbox here for a minute and say, if you're not getting at least six hours of sleep, go have a conversation with your family doctor.
31:46
Lisa Boehm: Because if you're getting less than six hours of sleep, I'm going to let you in on a little secret that I learned.
31:52
Lisa Boehm: When we don't get enough sleep, it actually augments our, brain fog, our forgetfulness.
31:59
Lisa Boehm: It can actually kick us into Alzheimer's and dementia faster and earlier than if we were getting enough sleep.
32:10
Lisa Boehm: So and we can't cope.
32:12
Lisa Boehm: We can't cope with life stresses when we're not getting enough sleep.
32:17
Lisa Boehm: Go see your GP.
32:21
Lisa Boehm: I was on sleeping pills for a number of years after I lost Katie.
32:24
Lisa Boehm: I've just, gotten off them.
32:28
Lisa Boehm: But my doctor said exactly that.
32:30
Lisa Boehm: She said like it was a half or it was a quarter, but I was really worried about negative long term side effects.
32:38
Lisa Boehm: And she said, you know what, Lisa?
32:39
Lisa Boehm: She said, if you're not sleeping, all of this that I just said, she goes, you have a greater chance of having dementia or Alzheimer's.
32:46
Lisa Boehm: You can't handle your grief.
32:48
Lisa Boehm: You've told me that.
32:49
Lisa Boehm: So she said this, we're weighing out the pros and cons here.
32:53
Lisa Boehm: So I'm not an advocate to say to everybody to go on sleeping pills, but go and have the discussion and same thing with antidepressants.
33:04
Lisa Boehm: If that's what you need to help you cope, do it.
33:11
Lisa Boehm: They are there for a reason.
33:13
Lisa Boehm: And many of the people that I coach, whether it's in grief or whether it's just You know, other adversity in life, oftentimes, I would say 90 percent of these ladies are on either sleeping pills or antidepressants or a combination thereof for the short term, like I'm talking six months, nine months, whatever it takes to get through the worst.
33:37
Lisa Boehm: And there's no shame in that.
33:40
Lisa Boehm: None whatsoever.
33:41
Lisa Boehm: If you had a heart condition and you needed to take something, you would take something.
33:46
Lisa Boehm: That's it.
33:46
Lisa Boehm: That's it.
33:46
Lisa Boehm: That's it.
33:47
Lisa Boehm: So sleep is a really, big thing.
33:49
Lisa Boehm: So anybody that I'm, helping, with grief, that's where we start is the basics.
33:57
Lisa Boehm: Are you sleeping?
33:58
Lisa Boehm: Are you drinking water?
33:59
Lisa Boehm: Because when we grieve, we cry, when we cry, we lose hydration, a lot of hydration.
34:10
Lisa Boehm: And when I was writing my book, I did a ton of research and one of the things that I discovered is that even when we are a little bit dehydrated, like a little bit, that is, makes us more inclined to be depressed.
34:28
Lisa Boehm: Yes.
34:29
Lisa Boehm: And a friend of mine who actually works at the crisis center here in Regina said that when they're on a call, if somebody's calling in they're in a crisis.
34:39
Lisa Boehm: With mental health, she said the first thing that they ask them to do is walk over to the sink and pour a big glass of water and start drinking as they're talking.
34:48
Lisa Boehm: That's how critical hydration is to our mental health.
34:52
Lisa Boehm: Isn't that interesting?
34:54
Lisa Boehm: Yes.
34:56
Lisa Boehm: So we start with those basics.
34:59
Lisa Boehm: And then, because I find if we're not in a physical state of well being, we cannot be in a positive well being with our emotional health.
35:15
Lisa Boehm: So it's like doing a triage, if you will, you come to the emergency situation and the most, the issue that is the most demanding and the most life threatening you tackle first.
35:28
Lisa Boehm: Yes, absolutely.
35:29
Lisa Boehm: Yeah.
35:30
Lisa Boehm: And then I think when people can see.
35:34
Lisa Boehm: Oh Lisa and I talked about getting enough water, enough sleep and some decent, nutrition.
35:43
Lisa Boehm: Those were little things, but they made a big difference.
35:46
Lisa Boehm: So then the next week we come back and I, and then they start to believe in themselves.
35:51
Lisa Boehm: They start to believe that things can be better and that we can get some tools in their tool belt that will help them get through this difficult time.
36:02
Lisa Boehm: Very good.
36:03
Lisa Boehm: Like you said, those 1 percent shifts.
36:06
Lisa Boehm: Every day, have an extra glass of water.
36:08
Lisa Boehm: Sure.
36:09
Lisa Boehm: Try to get another extra hour of sleep.
36:12
Lisa Boehm: Maybe turn off the device before bed.
36:14
Lisa Boehm: Absolutely.
36:15
Lisa Boehm: Those things should be chucked out the window, honestly.
36:19
Lisa Boehm: And interesting that the report came out that they want to, they being in, it was in the U.
36:25
Lisa Boehm: S.
36:26
Lisa Boehm: I'm starting to recognize that they need to put safety warnings on our social media devices, much like they would on a cigarette package.
36:36
Lisa Boehm: It is that damaging to mental health, and we are in a mental health crisis.
36:41
Lisa Boehm: And I talked about this at great length and then I actually alluded to it earlier when we were speaking about the social media in itself is damaging and that is a whole other conversation.
36:53
Lisa Boehm: But I had just learned to that the exposure to blue light, which disrupts her melatonin production is also leading to melatonin in itself.
37:07
Lisa Boehm: is an anti inflammatory, but the blue light exposure just learned about this, raises our blood sugar level in our body.
37:18
Lisa Boehm: So it's not just a mental health issue.
37:22
Lisa Boehm: Now it's re wreaking havoc on our physical well being.
37:29
Lisa Boehm: It's unbelievable just how complex the body is, but Self care.
37:35
Lisa Boehm: Get back to the basics.
37:36
Lisa Boehm: Yeah.
37:37
Lisa Boehm: Yeah.
37:39
Lisa Boehm: I want to do focus on the social media aspect just really briefly because it does tie in the whole depression item.
37:47
Lisa Boehm: And, then we see this with midlife or bombarded with them if we're on our devices.
37:54
Lisa Boehm: And I'm telling you, I want to take a detox altogether.
37:58
Lisa Boehm: It's hard in this day and age when you do have a business, not to be on social, but we can, the comparison, comparing, like I have such a better presence than I do.
38:10
Lisa Boehm: Look how young they look.
38:11
Lisa Boehm: And yet they're older than me and just comparing who we used to be.
38:16
Lisa Boehm: Like you said, in that grief of who we used to be.
38:19
Lisa Boehm: So what is some of the approaches that you've taken?
38:21
Lisa Boehm: or even 1 percent shifts that we can do to tackle that and address it for what it is.
38:27
Lisa Boehm: It's a mental health issue.
38:29
Lisa Boehm: Absolutely.
38:30
Lisa Boehm: An excellent question.
38:32
Lisa Boehm: I just had this conversation with, one of my clients and that is, Do a little bit of a digital detox, as you said, now we're attached to these things.
38:42
Lisa Boehm: Like you said, you've got a business but go through there and delete every account that doesn't make you feel better.
38:52
Lisa Boehm: If it's somebody, like you say, you're like, Oh this or that, or they somehow just bring up some resistance in you, delete, unfollow, whatever it is, delete, That's number one.
39:06
Lisa Boehm: Number two is to go through and start following accounts that make you happy and giggle.
39:13
Lisa Boehm: I did this about six months ago, and I have got, I'm embarrassed to say, more puppy and kitty videos coming soon.
39:21
Lisa Boehm: than anything else.
39:23
Lisa Boehm: When I am busting a gut, scrolling through my, my social feed, my husband will always come and look around the corner and he'll say another dog video.
39:35
Lisa Boehm: Yep.
39:36
Lisa Boehm: Yep.
39:37
Lisa Boehm: But those are the things that make me feel good and make me laugh.
39:41
Lisa Boehm: So try and fill your feed up deliberately with things that make you feel better.
39:49
Lisa Boehm: Yes.
39:50
Lisa Boehm: Yes.
39:51
Lisa Boehm: That is so perfect.
39:52
Lisa Boehm: I'm glad you explained it that way because I find that in the, in what I'm doing as a menopause doula, I need to follow more menopause related businesses or podcasts.
40:06
Lisa Boehm: I'm just, I'm finding myself going down that comparison.
40:09
Lisa Boehm: And then I go on to my website, say, okay, I got to tinker with this.
40:12
Lisa Boehm: Oh, now I need a digital course.
40:14
Lisa Boehm: Oh, and now I need this.
40:16
Lisa Boehm: And I'm like a squirrel.
40:17
Lisa Boehm: My mind is going everywhere.
40:19
Lisa Boehm: And then it literally Lisa has been in the last, I would say week, 10 days.
40:24
Lisa Boehm: And I, not that I liked getting COVID another time, but I have to say it slowed me down enough to really think deeply about what's going on here.
40:32
Lisa Boehm: Okay.
40:32
Lisa Boehm: Bye.
40:34
Lisa Boehm: And I am just like you say, why would I follow somebody just to get my numbers up?
40:40
Lisa Boehm: And they teach you this in social media marketing classes that you've got to like all these people so that you're in their feeds.
40:47
Lisa Boehm: And, but I don't think that's necessarily good for mental health.
40:51
Lisa Boehm: It might be from a marketing perspective, go hire somebody out to do that because they're emotionally removed from all that.
40:59
Lisa Boehm: But the digital detox, just cleaning out and bringing joy, which is a perfect segue to my next question.
41:07
Lisa Boehm: I yesterday and it merits talking about, I had listened to Mel Robbins podcast and we're going to talk about Mel and it was about flowers.
41:20
Lisa Boehm: It was her solo episode talking about flowers and the science behind the joy it brings to us and just raising dopamine and serotonin.
41:31
Lisa Boehm: And I was just.
41:32
Lisa Boehm: enamored.
41:33
Lisa Boehm: I'm blown away with the message.
41:36
Lisa Boehm: And I'm looking outside my front window, looking at my peonies.
41:40
Lisa Boehm: And I thought I'm going to go treat myself to some flowers, just like Mel recommends.
41:45
Lisa Boehm: I went out there and I cut them.
41:48
Lisa Boehm: And then you just can't cut them.
41:50
Lisa Boehm: You, then you have to arrange them all beautifully.
41:52
Lisa Boehm: And then the light, and then you pick up your phone.
41:54
Lisa Boehm: You want to take a picture of it.
41:56
Lisa Boehm: And an hour had gone by and I had made a social media reel of these peonies, but it brought me so much joy.
42:04
Lisa Boehm: And I could feel.
42:06
Lisa Boehm: Good about that social media post and I didn't care about any results from it, but just being in the moment of capturing it.
42:17
Lisa Boehm: And then I went out to grab the other peonies, which are a different color.
42:22
Lisa Boehm: And this is the one that the ants really because they open up and of course you need the ants to open them up.
42:27
Lisa Boehm: So those ones don't come in the house.
42:30
Lisa Boehm: And I just sat there 20 minutes watching a couple of ants crawl all over.
42:36
Lisa Boehm: And it was the simple things of being in the moment, being completely present.
42:41
Lisa Boehm: And that brought me so much joy.
42:43
Lisa Boehm: I felt so good.
42:45
Lisa Boehm: Like I just had a massage, a day at the spa.
42:49
Lisa Boehm: And again, simple, basic self care things.
42:54
Lisa Boehm: And now I fill my Instagram with accounts, like the puppies dash helm in particular, my daughter has a dash helm.
43:03
Lisa Boehm: And so I just can't get enough of the doggies and the animals.
43:09
Lisa Boehm: And Mel Robbins, she posts some really wonderful things, but I do.
43:13
Lisa Boehm: And that's why I bring that up because I asked you what your favorite book is of all time.
43:19
Lisa Boehm: I ask all my podcast guests, or if I can remember to ask them spring fog does can, tell us what is your favorite book?
43:30
Lisa Boehm: I wrote it down there and you're going to have to tell me if I get the title mixed up, but I believe it's called high five habit Robbins.
43:36
Lisa Boehm: And.
43:40
Lisa Boehm: I just love Mel for 500 reasons, but I love her shoot from the hip, approach.
43:48
Lisa Boehm: She just says it as it is.
43:50
Lisa Boehm: She doesn't necessarily do everything that everybody else on social media is doing.
43:56
Lisa Boehm: She's exactly the same age as me.
43:59
Lisa Boehm: And, I don't see her using a bunch of fancy filters some days, a lot of days she's on there without her makeup she just got up and her hair's all whatever.
44:11
Lisa Boehm: And she talks about her family and she talks about the things that I can relate to.
44:18
Lisa Boehm: Yeah.
44:19
Lisa Boehm: She's not doing dance moves on her social and she's.
44:25
Lisa Boehm: Sometimes giving people some tough love, but I just love her approach.
44:30
Lisa Boehm: But the high five habit is definitely more of a personal development book than a business kind of thing.
44:38
Lisa Boehm: But I just love the idea of walking into the bathroom first thing in the morning, hairs sticking up, zit cream on, whatever, and high fiving yourself in the, mirror.
44:51
Lisa Boehm: You got this, and, her whole book breaks down why this simple, again, 1 percent strategy you could call it is so effective.
45:03
Lisa Boehm: And it's giving yourself self love, telling yourself that you respect yourself.
45:10
Lisa Boehm: That you believe in yourself and if you read the book, it follows a number of people all the way through and what after this period of time of them high fiving themselves every morning in the mirror.
45:24
Lisa Boehm: And I just think it speaks so much to the importance of starting your day off on the right foot, positive messaging, positive mindset.
45:35
Lisa Boehm: And yeah, I really like it.
45:37
Lisa Boehm: It's my favorite.
45:39
Lisa Boehm: Love that between that and the five second rule, which is the book that got me to start podcasting during the pandemic.
45:48
Lisa Boehm: And then that podcast ended and then I started another one, but I have to credit Mel Robbins exactly for that.
45:58
Lisa Boehm: Don't let the brain talk you to anything else because its job is just to protect you.
46:03
Lisa Boehm: But it's a lot of chatter that serves no purpose.
46:06
Lisa Boehm: override it.
46:07
Lisa Boehm: And I think gratitude, self appreciation, a high five is a beautiful way to override all of that negative self talk, certainly in the menopause years.
46:17
Lisa Boehm: Yeah.
46:19
Lisa Boehm: Quick question though, when you started your podcast, how did that get started?
46:24
Lisa Boehm: And Tell our listeners where they can find you as well.
46:28
Lisa Boehm: Yeah.
46:30
Lisa Boehm: I'm a big believer in, I call it the universe, call it what you will, but, and I also believe in spiritual connection.
46:38
Lisa Boehm: And I always believe that my daughter is with me, literally kicking me in the butt, literally kicking me in the butt.
46:43
Lisa Boehm: I didn't want to ask.
46:44
Lisa Boehm: That's awesome.
46:45
Lisa Boehm: Beautiful.
46:45
Lisa Boehm: And I, that could be another podcast for another day.
46:47
Lisa Boehm: I've got a hundred stories of connection and communication with her, but I just felt like podcast kept showing up in my life podcast kept showing up in my life, and I kept going, Nope, not for me.
47:04
Lisa Boehm: Nope, don't have time for that.
47:06
Lisa Boehm: And I kept thinking, as much as I enjoy helping grieving mothers.
47:15
Lisa Boehm: It's hard work.
47:16
Lisa Boehm: It's emotionally heavy work.
47:19
Lisa Boehm: And in some sense, it made the most sense for me to start a grief focused podcast.
47:28
Lisa Boehm: I didn't want to.
47:30
Lisa Boehm: I didn't want to.
47:31
Lisa Boehm: So I sat on the idea.
47:32
Lisa Boehm: I was like, okay, maybe I'll start a podcast, but I don't know what I'm going to do.
47:37
Lisa Boehm: And then just the way my summer unfolded last year, my son's struggling, my brother's struggling and it was just like mental health.
47:46
Lisa Boehm: And then looking around at the women around me and thinking, holy moly, like we are a generation of women that are struggling, quietly struggling because God forbid we ask for help.
48:00
Lisa Boehm: And I just thought, if this is a complete flop, no harm done.
48:06
Lisa Boehm: Even if I do did 10 episodes and I packed it in no harm done.
48:11
Lisa Boehm: So that was my approach going into it.
48:13
Lisa Boehm: And season one was more general.
48:16
Lisa Boehm: I had some amazing interviews.
48:19
Lisa Boehm: Amazing.
48:20
Lisa Boehm: I don't know if anybody's familiar with Dr.
48:21
Lisa Boehm: Jodi Carrington.
48:24
Lisa Boehm: I had a young man from Regina here, intergenerational trauma and first nations.
48:31
Lisa Boehm: Like all kinds of stories, because I honestly, I think everybody's got a story, at the end of the day while these stories were really good to listen to.
48:42
Lisa Boehm: And I always made sure to pull out some little nuggets.
48:47
Lisa Boehm: They weren't speaking to anyone in particular.
48:52
Lisa Boehm: And so season two is just for us, us midlife moms and just talking about some of the trials and tribulations that we face.
49:02
Lisa Boehm: And I'm, really enjoying it, but you asked where people can find me.
49:10
Lisa Boehm: And my podcast is called rising, strong mental health and resilience.
49:16
Lisa Boehm: And if you can't remember all that, my website is risingstrongpodcast.
49:23
Lisa Boehm: com, and everything you need to know is all there.
49:28
Lisa Boehm: And I also see that you offer up some free resources on your website as well.
49:34
Lisa Boehm: I do.
49:35
Lisa Boehm: I do.
49:36
Lisa Boehm: Right now I've got an eight minute guided visual meditation.
49:42
Lisa Boehm: So if anybody needs just a quick wind down, like at bedtime, like we were saying, or just at the end of the workday, I've got that.
49:51
Lisa Boehm: And there's a few other goodies in there as well.
49:54
Lisa Boehm: And I'm working on a freebie actually later this afternoon, all about burnout.
50:00
Lisa Boehm: Yeah.
50:01
Lisa Boehm: Yeah.
50:02
Lisa Boehm: It's something we need, right?
50:05
Lisa Boehm: So watch for that, too.
50:07
Lisa Boehm: I think by the time we have your episode aired, that just might be up on your free resources on your website.
50:13
Lisa Boehm: We'll have that all in the show notes.
50:15
Lisa Boehm: Lisa, I want to thank you so much for your time and just sharing your story being resilient, and vulnerable at the same time.
50:24
Lisa Boehm: And it takes courage to be vulnerable as we well know.
50:28
Lisa Boehm: It's quite a, an amazing journey, but you've come out of it in spades.
50:33
Lisa Boehm: I just, I applaud you for all that you're doing and many women can use your, guidance, your sage advice and how we can transition through the midlife.
50:44
Lisa Boehm: So thank you again so much for joining me here on all things menopausal.
50:49
Lisa Boehm: Thank you so much for having me.
50:52
Mary Lee: It's been a while since I've given my key takeaways after an interview, but I want to get back to doing them because again, as I reflected in the beginning, I got so much out of listening to this episode after two months of sitting down with Lisa and I want to share them with you.
51:09
Mary Lee: I'm sure you have your own key takeaways, but here are mine.
51:13
Mary Lee: Of course, as I said in the beginning, it all begins with mindset, the power of the, of perception.
51:21
Mary Lee: If you can see your future and perceive the greatness or the healing that you want to have, that is the first step to actually achieving.
51:31
Mary Lee: Second is gratitude and trauma.
51:34
Mary Lee: Looking for the positive in everything and anything.
51:39
Mary Lee: Third, healthy lifestyle.
51:40
Mary Lee: Just keep moving.
51:42
Mary Lee: healthy eating.
51:43
Mary Lee: Not poor eating as a coping mechanism, but healthy eating as a remedy to cope and manage trauma.
51:52
Mary Lee: And then ranking.
51:53
Mary Lee: I love that she ranks where you want to be and takes small digestible steps to move in that direction.
52:00
Mary Lee: By taking one step, manageable and adjustable at a time, you are shifting towards your greatness.
52:07
Mary Lee: Whether it's healing, abundance, you name it.
52:11
Mary Lee: Rank it and go get it.
52:15
Mary Lee: And then, as I said, we don't do overwhelm very well.
52:18
Mary Lee: So examine the most overwhelming part of your life and itemize everything associated with that pain point.
52:25
Mary Lee: So good.
52:26
Mary Lee: And recognizing that multitasking, it isn't really all that healthy and good for us as we've been made to believe taking on too much prevents us from moving things off of our plate and delegating.
52:41
Mary Lee: We're simply just asking for help and learning to say no, which is all about setting boundaries.
52:47
Mary Lee: And then I love what she shared as a grief educator.
52:50
Mary Lee: Grief isn't just loss of loved ones.
52:52
Mary Lee: It's in mourning our youth or facing the empty nest syndrome.
52:56
Mary Lee: We're all carrying some grief and grief needs to be recognized as an emotion and dealt with in a healthy manner, It starts with basic self care, sleep.
53:08
Mary Lee: Fresh air, staying hydrated, and the importance of sleep.
53:12
Mary Lee: Well, if you're not getting good sleep, it just exacerbates any underlying mental health issues, cognitive hit or effects that come with menopause, as well as increase the risks of dementia and Alzheimer's.
53:26
Mary Lee: And of course, exposing ourselves to blue light before bed disrupts melatonin production.
53:31
Mary Lee: And I've talked about this before.
53:33
Mary Lee: Melatonin is a natural anti inflammatory too.
53:36
Mary Lee: So when it's not producing, we're losing that ability to address inflammation that comes with estrogen egress.
53:43
Mary Lee: And then dehydration.
53:45
Mary Lee: We're so inclined to depression if we're not properly hydrated.
53:49
Mary Lee: This is something I didn't know.
53:51
Mary Lee: And it's so critical to our mental health.
53:54
Mary Lee: And then the impact of social media, as Lisa suggests, we need a digital detox and you can do that by simply deleting what doesn't bring you joy or doesn't make you feel joy.
54:05
Mary Lee: So fill your feed up deliberately with what makes you feel good.
54:10
Mary Lee: going back to belief.
54:11
Mary Lee: Belief comes from self care.
54:13
Mary Lee: So take the time to indulge in self care.
54:17
Mary Lee: So important.
54:18
Mary Lee: So every morning, get up, go in that mirror, say something beautiful and positive to yourself.
54:23
Mary Lee: be grateful.
54:24
Mary Lee: Whatever it takes, cultivate positive mindset, delete the negative self talk.
54:31
Mary Lee: Those are my key takeaways.
54:33
Mary Lee: Thank you so much for joining me on All Things Menopausal and until next time.
54:39
Mary Lee: If you enjoyed today's episode and want to stay connected, be sure to follow me on Instagram for tips and updates.
54:46
Mary Lee: For even more support and community, Join our Facebook group, personal and universal, where we share experiences, advice, and empower each other through the transformative journey.
54:58
Mary Lee: if you found value in today's episode, please consider leaving a review on Apple podcasts.
55:05
Mary Lee: Your feedback helps reach more women who can benefit from these conversations.
55:10
Mary Lee: Okay, my lovelies stay empowered, stay informed and embrace the beauty of your menopausal journey.
55:17
Mary Lee: Remember midlife should be the best life and it will be.
55:21
Mary Lee: Namaste.