Latest / Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast / EP 46 | Kinky Campfire Revelations: Unraveling the Secrets of BDSM Dating, Social Acceptance, and the Power of Introspection

Transcript

EP 46 | Kinky Campfire Revelations: Unraveling the Secrets of BDSM Dating, Social Acceptance, and the Power of Introspection · Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast

• 0:58
  Speaker 1: Welcome back, everybody.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: A dramatic effect to the bonfire that we do on the second and fourth Thursdays, aka the Around the Kinky Campfire podcast.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: Who is with me on this day that we're doing this thing?
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: This is real.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: And I am Bartholomew Hunt.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: That is my name.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: I wrote that down.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: I actually don't remember where I got that one from, so no testing question on that one, bartholomew Hunt.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: I'll probably have to look it up at some point to remember, but for now we're going to keep it moving Because once again we asked the all-important question what you drinking, miss Rue?
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: I am still drinking those White Claws.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: White Claws.
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, some kind of surge thing.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: Dragon fruit.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: We still have not figured out.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: It's been two weeks now Nope, we have no idea why.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: Somebody out there probably knows I'm sure they know what it is.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: Since they made it, I've moved on myself from the green tea.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: I drank that all up and I'm still drinking the Casa Azul tequila soda, not sponsored, not sponsored by White Claw.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: The watermelon flavor, I've got to say, is pretty tasty.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I will switch from my lovely and tasty High Noon just because I've been drinking it for so long I get that.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: But the watermelon is still pretty good.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, I was getting my sip ready and I'm drinking some kind of lemonade.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: What is it?
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: Dust powder, water, dust powder.
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: Crystal Light, that's so creepy.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the dust powder thing that I say because people ask me what I'm drinking.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: It's not Crystal Light, it's just some dust water drink mix Lemonade flavor tastes delicious.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: Dust water yes.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: I like all the different lemonades but I got to say I'm still a purist.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: The original lemonade is still pretty doggone good.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: But enough of that.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Let's get serious.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: You know what time it is.
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, it's that.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: ASMR minute now.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: It might take the whole minute now I still got a little bit of tequila soda in here, and that's really gonna.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: Just you know, he's gonna start here in three, two would have really appreciated if you didn't do that.
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: I really think that we just need to record these previously.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: You could sit and do like a whole half hour of them and just use different ones at different times.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: That's what you get.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: I tried to hold my breath there.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: It didn't work.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: I almost went down the wrong tube.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: I gotta say I love your commentary If you want me to pre-record this, but then I won't have that lovely commentary in the background.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: Oh, we're missing a meetup.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: Oh yes, that's a monday thing.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: Um, that which we talked about before might have happened there, had you have gone oh yeah that's a, yeah, that's a.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: That's a monday thing, uh.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, we just took a little break there.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: Campsters, we got another exciting episode for you.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: We did a little um yearly spot check for the people that are new.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: Hopefully we got some new people coming in.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: You understood the definitions that were there.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: I mean basic in our eyes, because we have all the experience here.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: Uh, miss rue, bringing bringing the educational and the experiential background.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: I am bringing the entertainment because I'm just so fucking hilarious that so says Bartholomew Hunt, aka Julius, if you want to call me that.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: But we are here to educate you through awareness with our experiences about all things kinky, bdsm and non-monogamy, with a little bit of geek in there.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: And we have a topic for you today because I've seen the question a lot on the interwebs.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: As you all know, I am a Reddit boy or girl, depending on how I feel on the day of that.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: We're doing the thing Speaking of which I finally got into the whole nail polish thing.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: I'm starting to do it myself.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: I've gotten a little bit better have you.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: It was chunky.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: I did not realize you need a wet tip to apply the nail polish.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: What did you think you needed?
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: I let it get a little dry, so then it got a little streaky and chunky on there, yeah, but I kept it wet.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: And it worked better for you I get it, because a little foreplay helps when you're applying stuff and getting stuff wet?
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: It does yes.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: So I got the tips wet.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: Okay, all the euphemisms are in there.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: They're all there and I did better this time with the base coat Good.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: It takes me, because I have the neuro spicy brain, to get up to the regular stuff.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: I did put an actual coat on there and then I was like, huh, that's a little chunky, I don't on that.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: So, now I've just been doing a regular base coat, but eventually, once I get the tip wet enough, I'm going to start doing the layer sandwich on there Top coat, color and then the base coat.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: I'm proud of you.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: Good job.
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: I don't do my own nails, I get them done.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm only doing the two nails, so I don't know if I want to pay somebody just to do two nails because the other ones are working.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: So then they're going to get chipped eventually Mine don't get chipped.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, how about that?
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: Using my hands a lot?
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: How about that?
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: I'm sticking them in places.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, so sometimes yeah.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: I have a preferred finger.
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah so.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: I stick them, I pick my nose.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: I'll just say that Wow, moving on, I just threw people off there Moving on.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: That's not really no.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: I was going down a gutter path, I was going into the gutter and I decided to pull it back, so I made a joke.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I'm sticking fingers and stuff, not to get too specific, and my specific and my nails chip okay oh, so I use my hands for work, both kinds so yeah, stuff happens where you know you're doing all kinds of stuff and sometimes they chip.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: So, like you know what, I'm just gonna do two fingers, because I don't feel like dealing with all the other fingers getting chipped.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: Okay, yes, two fingers okay sometimes three uh-huh yeah mostly one yeah mostly one you know what I'm saying.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: You want to warm it up without wrecking it.
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: I totally get that.
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: That's not how it works people.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: That's a joke, it bounces back.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: All right, so we got to do that.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: Sex ed episode one of these days, yeah.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: We're going to talk about sticking fingers in places.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: You want to moisturize.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: You want to lubricate Actually moisturize your hands.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: Nobody likes dry skin touching them all over the place.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: If you're going to be sliding stuff in places, you want to lubricate, Nobody likes a dry thumb in their nose.
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: Okay, so it's not that I'm laughing about the dry thumb comment.
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: It's the fact that he's wiggling his thumbs while he's saying it.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: No, I'm funny.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: No, I'm funny.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: So yeah, we're going gonna do a sex ed pod this is not the actual segment and it's tangent in here but we're gonna think of talk about lubrication and moisturizing.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: Gotta moisturize before you know we want to dry it out, to just start putting you on video nobody.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm fine with that I told you we got a spot for there we'll put you on video a little, just not yeah, no, we're gonna do the crime scene investigation.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: We talked about this, we did, yeah, so if you all want that, message us at CampfireKingsers with K's at IG and let us know.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: If you want us to do video, we can do the video and then we'll have Miss Rue looking like an undercover agent in the background.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: So your Rue voice with the face on there blackout.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: Well, ankle where they can't see my face.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: Okay, so you'll be I'll be talking to a ghost.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's fine spirit in the room somewhere.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: I'm totally fine with that.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: I have dress-ups and stuff like that, so that'll be totally fine, but no dry thumbs and holes we don't want no dry thumbs and holes you gotta spit on it.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: Okay, let's move on water-based lubrication.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: Voices, voices, sex ed.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: Sex ed episode.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: Let us know if you want it.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: We'll be here for it.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: I like talking about that stuff and educating the people.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: But there's different ways To stick stuff in places.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: If you're sticking stuff In somebody's bum, you want a Thing so you can pull it out, don't just be Shoving random shit in there I was talking about.
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: I went away from picking the nose and I went to dry thumb in the butthole.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: But yeah.
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: I was not prepared for this conversation.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: Evidently I told you you were warming up for the sex ed.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: People have specific questions, sticking stuff up your keister, you know it's called your prison wallet.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: Did you know that?
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: I've heard that it's your prison wallet.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: You don't want to be sticking stuff in there.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: I have stories from my nursing and doctor friends about ER visits People sticking stuff in there.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: You know the number one thing people like to stick up their keister.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: Is it an animal, a vegetable or a plant?
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: Oh, the poor hamsters Not yes.
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: It used to be hamsters in the 90s.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: Oh those poor hamsters 80s and 90s were a bad time for hamsters and gerbils.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: People.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: But the SPCA got on that we didn't do that anymore.
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: It was a bad time, inanimate object People would actually stick tubes in their butts to make the hamster or gerbil go down the tube into them and then take the tube out where it was kind of stuck in there and then put the tube back in for it to come out, and it didn't always come out why are we doing this?
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: I've seen those videos why are you?
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: Watching those videos.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: It was, it was back then what the fuck?
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: even I haven't seen those videos they're still out
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: there there's a videos that you've seen, that I have not seen, I guarantee you, they're probably still out there.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: I have heard of it.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: They might still be out there.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: I have heard of it but I'm not watching it I was like why I've also seen the video where they Lord help me.
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: They had two guys and they had a tube in both guys, like one on one in and one on the other, and the dribble would go back and forth why I just saying I've seen some things poor animals.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: I don't, yeah, I don't like animal cruelty.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't watch those videos but it was an inanimate.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: We're going back back to the original tangent.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: Inanimate object the most common inanimate object.
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: Well, it's the most common inanimate object.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: Well, it's the most common object anywhere.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: You just asked if it was like fruit or something.
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, cucumbers I mean it happens, it wasn't a cucumber, it was not the number one.
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: This is an inanimate object.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: Well, I mean, we can get philosophical if plants are alive or not, but this is an actual man-made thing.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: Cucumbers happens, but it's not the number one.
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: What's the number one?
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: Light bulbs.
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: Still.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, light bulbs.
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: I thought we got past that point.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: People still sticking light bulbs in their asses.
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: You know what else used to be Coke?
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: bottles.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: That makes more sense than a light bulb.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: And then they have to go to the ER.
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: You know why?
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: Vacuum.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: Because they put the open hole in first instead of last.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: Yes, because they put the open hole in first instead of last, and it vacuum seals in and they can't get it out because they can't break the suction of the vacuum.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: People don't understand this.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: But yeah, a lot of people don't even know about the light bulbs, even though it's still a thing.
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: That's an old one too.
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: It's still happening.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: That's crazy.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: Do you know how they get the light bulb out?
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: They?
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: have to break it.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: No, you can do it without breaking it.
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: Oh you can.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you stick usually a glove or you can stick a condom in there and you push it past the light bulb, you inflate it with air and the air pushes it back out.
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: They're lucky.
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: I thought they had to break it.
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: No, you can't.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: Oh my God, you don't want cuts in your butthole.
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: Oh, it will, yeah, yeah no, no, no.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: This is before they break it, can you?
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: imagine the drive to the ER with a light bulb in your ass and hoping it doesn't break.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying, and there's people that have they do it on a regular basis.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: It's like what in you wants to go to the ER multiple times for sticking stuff in your butthole?
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: They have butt plugs, they have butt plugs.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: I've seen Matchbox cars.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: They put Matchbox cars.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: Somebody you know Transformer turns into a car, but then they untransform the Transformer and then stick that in their butt.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: So they don't transform it into a car, sticking it in their butt.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: They put it in robot mode and then stick it in their butt.
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: Poor Optimus Prime seeing places in all those millions of years that he's been fighting the Decepticons.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: He just went into places that he did not need to be.
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: Is this what we're talking about?
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: No, I just went onto it and then you started telling me I didn't think you actually had watched and done research on what people stick in their buttholes.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: But if you want some good stories, talk to some nurses.
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: Anybody who has seen porn in the 90s has seen this.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: I've seen porn in there, I've heard the stories, but I didn't go and research it.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: I wasn't looking it up.
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: Poor hamsters, rabbit holes Stop doing that with animals.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: That's what they call it at Keister.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: No, I said it's rabbit hole time.
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: I went down rabbit holes.
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: Get it yeah.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: They called it the rabbit hole.
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: I've never seen an actual rabbit, though.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: They probably did that too Poor rabbits.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: Oh God, that's so bad Okay.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: The real tangent.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, that's a good buffer.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: Whatever, the real segment that we're doing today, campsters, is how do you?
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: Know the person you're talking to in real life or online is generally interested in BDSM.
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: Are we talking like dating sites?
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: No, not just dating sites In general.
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: Well, why else would I be talking to people if I don't know them?
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: Because some of us like to use FetLife and other resources.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: There's dating on Reddit as well and on Facebook.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: As you know, I have not had any luck on Facebook.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: I know that's one of your favorites.
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: No, it's trash, it sucks.
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: But people will say and we even have people that we know that complain about it people that are not genuine in their interest in BDSM.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: Yes, how do you do that?
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: I have ways that I test people I think I test them.
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: I mean, the only time this really comes up for me is on like dating sites.
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: If I'm on a dating site you know I'll, I will put little like, little snippets, little morsels out there to let them know that there's more.
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: Sometimes I will just come out and say you know the whole kinky um aspect of things.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: And sometimes I will just put, like you know, my favorite ice cream's not vanilla, you know the little catchy phrases like that, just to get people's attention.
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: Um, I, I usually.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: It usually doesn't rely, doesn doesn't mean how do I put this?
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: I'm not the one that has to figure it out, because they'll just ask questions.
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: And so they'll say you know, I saw this on your profile.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: You know what does that mean to you?
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: I'll be like, oh, okay, that's a good question, that's fair, and so I'll answer the question you know for me, and then I'll reciprocate.
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: And then, nine times out of 10, the first kind of little bit of red flag that I get, maybe orange leaning towards red is the.
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: It's something I've always been curious about and never actually did.
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: And it's like, okay, I'm damn near 50.
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: Like, if we are at this age and you have been curious for this long and I'm the first person that you are talking about it with or engaging it with, like, what has stopped?
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: Like we have the Internet now.
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: What has stopped you from getting some baseline education?
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: Did you ever ask him where they're what?
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: What age did their interest start?
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: Sometimes I will, you know, um, depending on how they out when they say you know, oh well, I've always been curious, but I've never.
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: A lot of times now, in fairness, I will say they have said you know, I've never had a partner that's been interested in it, so I've never pursued it.
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: Okay, I get that because I don't know that I would pursue something independently if I'm with a partner, if I knew that my partner wasn't into it.
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: You know, especially, even though we say BDSM doesn't have to involve sex, for a lot of people it's, it's a sexual based thing.
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: So if I knew my partner was not into something that was sexual based, I wouldn't go down the rabbit hole to try to find out about it.
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: So that's a natural reaction.
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: I get that, um, and so I'll play along for a little bit.
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: You know, and you know I'll let them ask me questions because they're like well, you know, can I ask questions?
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm an open book, you can ask whatever you want.
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: Usually by a week, if our conversation hasn't changed from that, they're no longer asking me about my favorite destination or how I like to vacation or do I like to eat out or like any, if they don't involve anything other than kink, and all of the conversation is involved around kink.
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: They're fetishizing me.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: And I will try to divert the conversation back to.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: I love Italian food.
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: I like to watch movies.
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: I like to travel.
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: I like to do this.
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: You know I.
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: How would you like to spend your Saturday?
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: Like to travel?
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: I like to do this.
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: You know I.
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: How would you like to spend your Saturday night?
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: You know things like that, and if everything, if all roads lead back to kink, that's a huge flag for me that tells me this isn't about your journey with learning what you like this is.
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: You're using me, um get any green flags green flags would be.
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: I'll throw stuff out there like here's a a great website that's got good resources, or here's a really good book, if they're book readers here's a really good book you could read, I would say, book readers are a green flag
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: book readers are a green flag for me, um, and if they say, oh, that's awesome, or here's a podcast, like you know, whatever is their favorite, whatever, um, a green flag is that they take that information and then, within a week or so, if we're still talking, they ask questions based off those things, like I can tell they went to that thing and now they have questions based like hey, I was doing this thing that you said and I had a question about this.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: Awesome, yes, ok, because now you are investing in yourself independently of me, Perfect Green flag.
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: Hey, I know that you work at an establishment.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: I know that you're there most weekends.
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: Would it be okay if I attended too?
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, they're willing to see what the community's about.
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: They're willing to put themselves out there.
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: Red flag for me is somebody who's not willing to do that at all.
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: Oh, I could never do that.
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: I could never go to a munch.
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: Because of my work, because of my work, I can't do that I can't go out in public like, so you can't go to a sports bar and eat wings and drink beer with a bunch of people in a sports bar like, oh, okay, like it's not.
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: Like I'm asking you to go to a swinger party.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: Um, you know, for a first time, with people that you don't know, I'm literally asking you to go to a sports bar and eat wings and drink beer, like, so that's, I don't.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: I tend not to have a lot to do with people who will do that.
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: So if they really start asking questions that only pertain to them or Are genuine questions, there's to me, there's a difference between a genuine question and a question that's sexualizing me.
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: When they start asking questions about what I like sexually, what I like and play, and only about me and do well, have you ever done this to a guy?
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: Or have you ever done this to a girl?
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: Well, have you ever done that?
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: Well, what was that like?
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: Like I'm not here to be your personal porn.
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: I know what I've done and I'm open to sharing my experiences with somebody who's worth the investment.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: Yes, who does the work?
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: Meets you at the place?
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, you gotta meet you halfway.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: You know, and I have told people that I have met online.
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: If this isn't your thing, I'm okay with that.
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be your thing for us to see if we're compatible in a relationship.
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: I can have a relationship and kink not be part of the foundation of it.
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: However, I would appreciate that you at least have an understanding of it.
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: Yes, you don't have to be a part of it, but you would have to at least understand it and be accepting of it.
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: It's never going to work if it's a competition.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and same thing for me.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: I need some kind of research.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: So book reader is definitely a green flag, and it's like you don't know if you read a book or listen to something or watch a video.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: Well, you don't know if you read a book or listen to something or watch a video.
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: Well, you don't have to read a book.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: If like, if, I give you a if I ask you yeah, would you like a podcast, something like that audio book.
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: Are you a reader?
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: Do you want a website, something in your free time?
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: How do you get your information?
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: Gotta get a youtube channel, whatever all that stuff yeah, so for me I've asked that question too.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: it's how did you even find out about the kink or BDSM world?
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: And usually, if it's an older person, we'll just say that they were divorced and also had a partner that was not into it.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: So if they say they just ran into somebody and they're older and it's like oh, a couple years ago I found somebody that was interested in that Sparkman thing, but I've not had too many of what you said there where they've always been interested and just never really tried it.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: That makes me want to be like, okay, so what is this for you?
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: exactly.
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: Well, what that usually means is I've always been interested and I've never had a partner willing to do it with me.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: That one is an orange flag.
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's in the middle, but then I also have the unique experience that being a femdom that plays into a lot of fantasies, and so I will get a lot of men who will say, oh, you know, I've always wanted to try that.
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: And it's like, yeah, I'm not a dress at jc pennies, like it's.
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: I'm not something that you just get to take off the rack and try on to see if it fits you, it's, it's rude, it's gross yeah, stop objectifying and so that I don't that, that is an instant like my radar's up, like okay, where are you gonna go with this?
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: some people say that because they don't know what else to say.
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: I get that.
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: That's genuine.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: It's how you follow up with everything.
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: Is gonna tell me your Like are you treating me like a cheap dress or are you saying that because you don't know what else to say?
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: And we're beginning your education.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I put.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: I put code words in my profiles as well, whatever the profile is, and also I put pictures in there.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: So I actually have like an upline picture buried deep in the in the photos.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: No, I don't do that.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, have like an upline picture buried deep in the photos.
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: No, I don't do that, okay, yeah.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: There was one point where I just put like a spread of toys on my bed and I put that deep in the profile as well.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: So different things.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: So, because people ask the question, they're like, oh, what's those?
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: Or hey, I see you have that vlogger there.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: That actually specifically okay.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: That does it specifically okay.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: That does it.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: Also in my profiles, in the about me section, I put one of my identities by you know, demisexual, you know gender fluid, something like that, brat, tamer.
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: Whatever that I want to put into that profile, depending on which one it is, but being able to look at somebody's profile and look down and see what their interests are like towards the bottom is a good way that I do it as well.
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: Um, backtracking a little bit, have you ever heard the like ultimate quote, unquote test question that people ask?
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: So somebody knows that you have toys and you ask them on their whips.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: Are your crackers wood or metal?
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: Have you heard that before?
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: I've not heard that.
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes that's a good test question, and if they say one of those things that you know that they're not a part of it.
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, that was a good bs question that, uh, that I was told very early in my kink career to ask people it's like oh yeah, you're into it?
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: then answer this question because you have some oh yeah, I've got all these toys and all this experience like oh okay, you got whips.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, is your crackers wooden or metal?
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: and it's like okay, there you go there you go.
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: I have to remember that one, that one's good, yeah that's exactly.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're welcome there you go yeah from 10 plus years ago.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: Um, so yeah, on the different sites, oh man, being able to research, oh boy, yeah, that's a, that's a big one.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: I need to know that you did some kind of something.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: And then if you're, uh, if your profile pics are a lot of just in in the bedroom kind of thing, I need to see that you were like socially active somewhere yeah, you have to see.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you have a life.
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: You're just like a closeted person that doesn't do anything.
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: Why are all these bathroom selfies of your face?
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: on here these bathroom gym selfies.
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: Like, okay, I get it, you go to the gym.
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: You don't have to have every picture from the bathroom of the gym.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: But then they say also, some of them don't have the gym selfie, they just have the bathroom selfie.
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: And they say they go to the gym and like, oh, I like to kayak and canoe and like, where are those pictures at?
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: Show me pictures of that, yeah.
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: But yes, okay.
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: So specifically about the BDSM stuff, what?
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: about in person.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: Say you see, bar guy.
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: So say I see bar guy, I mean kink doesn't always come up with bar guy.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: Really.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: Well no it depends on the.
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: It depends on the intent with bar guy guy.
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: Am I meeting bar guy because I'm on a cruise and I'm just okay with a one-night stand and I'm never gonna see this person again?
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: Or am I meeting bar guy because I'm in a bar in my area where I live and I'm out socializing with friends and it could lead to something else?
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: okay, so say it does come up if it does come up, I mean they, they, they react how they want to react.
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: Um, if they're, if they go, you know that's really cool.
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: But it's not, it's something I'm into.
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: I'll be like, okay, that's fine, and then what else could we have in common?
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: You know, at least they're willing to admit that's cool.
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: It's not something I'm into.
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: Um, red flag would be be, that's really cool, that's something I could be into.
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: Are you willing to teach me?
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, for $300 an hour, I'm willing to let you experience whatever.
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: I mean sure, yeah, I'll.
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, do you want my hourly rate now?
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: Or you know, are we still going to pretend like we're interested in each other, like that's great?
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: So it it on.
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: And it depends on whether I'm getting the creep vibe, if you know, if you bring it up and they instantly turn into a creep and they sexualize you, I mean conversation is over most people that I have encountered in person.
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: If it gets brought up in person, people are very different than they are.
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: They're not as brave in person as they are online.
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: They'll get a little quieter.
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: So say you're going to a munch or something.
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: Well, if you're at a munch, you're with like-minded people.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: But there's still new people there too.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: When you go to a munch, you're with like-minded people, but there's still new people there too and they don't.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: And when you go to a munch for the first time, they don't know.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: You know where you are.
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: No, I mean, I'm more forgiving.
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: I'm more I guess I'm more forgiving in a munch, because you know we're all there for this.
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: This is just something that got presented to you, and how you choose to deal with it is how we're going to proceed.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: Wait, forgiving, how?
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: What do you mean?
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: If I know that somebody is at a munch for the first time or new to the lifestyle and going to munches to me, they're doing the research by being at a munch.
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: Okay munches to me.
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: They're doing the research by being at a munch and so I'm going to be a little bit more forgiving.
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: When they start trying to be a little pushy or some of the red flags come up, I'm going to be like you know, okay.
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: So, side note, if you're open for information, you know this is not how it's done.
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: Oh, so you mean forgiving more so that you're willing to teach more?
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: I'm willing to show them more social norms of how to interact with other lifestyle people more so than bar guy.
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, where, like now, if I really don't give a shit about bar guy and he's just being a jerk, I'll be like, yeah, go ahead and try that and see how far it gets you.
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: You know, I, I I'm done at that point, so it's.
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: It just depends on the person in the situation.
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: I'll let somebody be as curious as they want to be, but the minute I feel like you're objectifying me, you're fetishizing me, I'm done and it's all areas across the board.
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: Across the board if they're already in the lifestyle.
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: I can be nice to you and not interact with you right, okay, yeah, see, I um, that would be an interesting response.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: I would be um less forgiving with the, the bar person than I would with the, the munch person because I was like exactly how did you get here if you didn't do any research whatsoever?
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: it's like you yeah you know, there's some general rules especially if you find out a munch most munches.
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: There's a generalization here, but they have the rules on the munch event details.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: So if you're being pushy, and some don't yeah.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: So I'm saying in general, they have the you know, consent violation rules on the thing.
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: So it's like if you doing breaking the rules, somebody will kick you out you.
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: That should be known beforehand in general right so if I'm doing it with a bar person, it's like okay.
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: Well, you know what, here is an education moment, because I know you haven't done any of this beforehand, because it kind of just got plopped right here in your lap yeah, I mean there's times where and, but you've got to understand if you're talking to bar guy and they're inappropriate with their questions or their comments.
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: I've looked at a bar guy before and been like, yeah, you're really, that's, that's not how this is done, like that's considered, what you're doing is considered rude.
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: A lot of times they immediately get defensive and like, well, who are you to tell me blah, blah?
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: blah, we're done, here, we're done.
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: And then it's like, okay, we're done, like I was kind to tell me we're done here, and then it's like okay, we're done.
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: I was kind of done, but now we're done.
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: If they turn around and look at you and go oh my God, I'm so sorry.
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: Thanks for letting me know.
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: Oh okay.
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: All right, you took that well.
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: So let's see where this goes.
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: See, I always wonder how vanilla people do that, because I would rather want to know that somebody can do that before anything happens beforehand.
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: That might be like a demisexual thing, but it's like I would want to know that beforehand.
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like last night I was at a bar and playing a sport playing darts, I'll say it playing darts, I'll say it playing darts.
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: And there was a vanilla guy there that knew my friends from just being in the same space at the same time multiple times, and so they were making comments.
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: My friend was making comments about showing up for one of their league nights or something like that, and I was like, oh no, I can't do that.
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: I was like I have a podcast night on that night.
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: I can't do that.
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: And the guy was like you have a podcast.
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: And I was like, yeah, I have a podcast.
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: And he was like, what's your podcast about?
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: I still can't handle that.
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: By the way, when that happens.
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: And I said, well, it's a kink, bdsm, non-monogamy lifestyle podcast.
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: And he I can't make this up.
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: He immediately pulled out his phone and found it and I was like he's like, what's the name of it?
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: And I told him the name of it.
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: He immediately found it and I was like, oh, but.
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: But I was like, by the way, if you're gonna, if you're searching for it it's like with k's he's like, oh, no, no, I already found it.
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, okay, cool, yeah, you'll.
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: If I see you again, you'll have to let me know how that goes for you.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: I still can't handle that.
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: That's weird but he was like so cool and like it.
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: Just it was kind of part of the conversation, but then it wasn't and I was like that's how it should happen, like that's it right there, just like I should be now, just like I should be, like what are you into baseball?
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: Oh, really, what's your favorite team?
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: What's your favorite football team?
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: And talk about football.
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: We should be able to talk about this in public while you're shooting darts in a bar and not be weird about it.
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: It's just a part of who you are, and that's why we're here, people to make it untabable.
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: We're canceling the memes.
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: That's what we're doing.
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: It was so refreshing to be in a social atmosphere that was not intentional for the lifestyle and to be able to bring up something that I do in the lifestyle, and it just as if I had just said my favorite football team was the Miami Dolphins, like yeah that's what we're here for.
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: That's the goal of this podcast.
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: It was so refreshing.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: It was really nice.
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: That's what we're here for.
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: Green flag.
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: That, to me, is a perfect way to handle the situation.
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: It could have gone a million ways why'd you say no?
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: do what you said no what I said hello bar guy.
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: You said no well, no, I mean it just, it was just not the environment, you know, but I mean it was refreshing, it was really nice.
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: We don't always have moments like that because you know, as much as we want this to be mainstream and we want people to accept that this is part of who we are, we kind of, you know, do it to ourselves a little bit, the way that we bring it up.
• 37:07
  Speaker 3: You know, think about the last time somebody asked you about anything that could be lifestyle related and they're not.
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: How many times do we go well, well, I'm kind of in this lifestyle, like we kind of do it to ourselves where, if you go yeah, I'm a kink educator they go.
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: Oh, uh, let them be uncomfortable let them figure out how they want to navigate this situation, because I'm comfortable saying that, yep, I had that happened at the podcast fest.
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: You, you know, oh, what's your podcast?
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: Kink, bdsm lifestyle.
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: You know, non-monogamy lifestyle, oh.
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: Any other questions Like?
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we gotta, yeah, I gotta work on that too.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: I'm getting after the pod fest, because I had to say it so many times.
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: I got a little bit more confident now.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: But, yes, I do have to say yeah, educator out there, but at the same time, I'm not at a conservative Christian convention.
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: You know I'm understanding my place and time and the group that I'm around.
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: That's another question I was going to ask you.
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: Do you ever go to the bar with your whole thing?
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: Out there, any of your identities?
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: Like me, I will wear my leather polyamory flag cuff or my triskelion.
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: My leather.
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: I mean, I live in Florida.
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: Leather's just freaking hot.
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: That's true.
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: It's been cold this whole last few months.
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: It's ridiculous.
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: And so no, it's been cold this whole last few months.
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: I mean as of the only time in a vanilla setting that I go out dressed like.
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: That is like bike week, like to profess where it's still considered part of the environment.
• 38:50
  Speaker 3: You know, um, if I'm just going out on a Saturday night, do I get dressed up in like jeans and my boots and my vest?
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: No, Do you wear part of it or something similar?
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: Not really, I have my triskelion thing.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: Oh, matter of fact, I was wearing a shirt from FetLife it was a.
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: Fetlife shirt and I was at Disney.
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: There was this couple they were like hey, I was like hey, it was like the one time in the 10 years that I've worn the shirt.
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: I tend not to because of my professional life.
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: I never know who I'm going to run into in a vanilla setting, and so I'm still a little conscientious about being that out.
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: Even if it's like hidden.
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: I don't have anything that's hidden.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: That's the thing.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: I either have things that I can wear in the environments and they are out, or I don't.
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I like to do that, even with the queer stuff, because I have pride bracelets or something I like to wear that I mean, every once in a while I'll wear a pride shirt, but to me that's yeah, I mean, it's a pride shirt.
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: It's not outing me Well, it's supporting.
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: I gotta tell you something kink is part of pride.
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: now, no, I know it is, but I'm saying I'm not to me, to me, wearing pride things is not an out thing.
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: I think it's a byproduct of where we live.
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: You know, living in this area, everything is so um, because we live in the area of pulse.
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: There is more acceptance and it is more visible and it is more part of the social culture of this area.
• 40:27
  Speaker 3: So for me it's not like I'm in the middle of Wisconsin that might not have a lot of pride events and so to see a lot of that would be outside the normal structure of that environment Pride-.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: Goal here is to make it so kink is on the same level as some-.
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: Yes, but pride in and of itself.
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: Wearing something rainbow or wearing pride anything, to me is commonplace in this area.
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: So would you say, would you have worn it Like I have?
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: a tank top, that's.
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: You know, love is love with the rainbow hearts and I have a Orlando pride shirts that I wear out in public and I will wear that out in public, but to me that's would you wear something that has like your sexual orientation flag on it?
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I would wear that.
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: Are you comfortable answering questions about that?
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: It's not a comfort level To me, it's a professional level.
• 41:28
  Speaker 3: How can it impact my professional life?
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: Do you think that would?
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: No, because I was in a five-year relationship with a woman while I was within my professional life.
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: Okay oh, that's another question I wanted to ask online, in real life.
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: Do you get the same responses from men and women?
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: In regards to your, when you say like your femdom or something um.
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: There's always a level of curiosity um do you think you get objectified as much like men versus women?
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: I don't.
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: I've never been objectified by women.
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: Um, if I've been objectified at all, it's by men.
• 42:09
  Speaker 3: Um, I've not encountered non-binary very often with that, or trans with that.
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: Very often it's more of an intrigue.
• 42:22
  Speaker 3: I run an event that is a femdom event that is geared towards the more non-gender related.
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: You know, it's any female identifying top or presenting top and any bottom, and so I see it in that environment.
• 42:44
  Speaker 3: But it's not a social environment, it's, it's already embedded into it, so it's already.
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: It's not abnormal, um, no.
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: And in a social environment women are cool, if anything, they're the women crack me up when I meet more vanilla women or women out in the social and they are like you're a femdom and I'm like hell yeah.
• 43:07
  Speaker 3: And they're like you're such a badass, like it's almost like I'm getting props yeah from women because they're like hell.
• 43:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay on that shit yeah um, men are the more curious of.
• 43:19
  Speaker 3: I either get the fuck that I would never be a part of that.
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: That's ridiculous, there's no way I could do that or it's the.
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: Oh you know, I've always been curious.
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: You know what is that about, like, what does that mean?
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: And and stuff like that.
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: So yeah, so as far as like the women yep, I've had that same experience is the non-binary and the trans.
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: Not so much because they get it objectified in general as well, so you get less.
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: So they tend to not do it to you.
• 43:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: And then, um, guys, that's part of the reason why I'm scared a little bit because, yeah, that objectification thing, also just in general, because of my how I present that objectification thing.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: But I've started putting like pansexual or like demisexual on certain sites and I'll get likes from guys.
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: But I'm like I don't know if I want to do that, because most of the sites you have to pay for which is stupid.
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: So paying for it out there.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: Plus guy pictures are so fucking creepy.
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: I don't know why they want to look so fucking serious smile show some teeth.
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: I don't understand this.
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: Like you're cute, but show some teeth.
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: You look like a serial killer, just looking serious, trying to be cool on their shit.
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: It's like what the fuck is this?
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: no, I'm not gonna do that but I've gotten to the point now in a certain popular thing which is not really kink or bdsm focus, but it's just.
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: I put it out.
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: I'm at like 100 plus likes and I said when I get to 100 likes I'm gonna pay for like a week to see what they look like.
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: Most of the matches are probably gonna be guys on there, but it's like the ones I see.
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: They look so fucking creepy.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: But I'm just making an assumption that it's probably gonna be the same response as you.
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: It's kind of like the objectification thing Once.
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: From our previous topics and in our talks over this time.
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: I'm not a fan of online dating.
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: You aren't, I'm not what.
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: I'm not a fan of online dating.
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: I really it's exhausting and I don't like it and I'm not a model.
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: I have got curves.
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: I am older?
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: No, but it does.
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: That is another test.
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: Right there it does.
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: That is another test right there it does.
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: That is another test right there because you don't want the people that are okay with you.
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: So that's another test right there.
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: Get them out.
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: Give them schlubs and smucks and whatever the fuck's out of there.
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: I also don't like online dating because it's exhausting, because it feels like you have the same conversation over and over and over and over and over again, because you're meeting new people over and over and over and over and over again and I just get tired of talking about the same damn thing I get tired about, yeah, my name is.
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: I am this age, I have this many children, I have this many grandchildren.
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: I do this for a living.
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: I have these hobbies.
• 46:03
  Speaker 3: I like long walks on the beach, you know, and watching sunsets while the breeze runs through my hair.
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: There's part of it too.
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: Yes, you are correct, you are correct and I agree with you and then there's also.
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: There's also the fact that you ask the same person, or you ask the same question to different people.
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: Most of the time you get a different response.
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: But it becomes.
• 46:25
  Speaker 3: It starts feeling so disingenuous because it's just like it's.
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: It becomes a script and it becomes less about you and just like it's a bio like, I feel like I should just write a really thorough bio and not everyone's gonna read it on there, but then that's their problem, like if you ask me a question that's legitimately on my bio, then I don't have anything see, there's another test right there.
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: There's another test plus.
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: You can't put it everything in your bio.
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: You think miss yeah, exactly that's read the bio I'm the root.
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: You should put that in.
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: Read the bio there's people big block letters, read the bio in there and then another thing you can do is buried in there, put like, if you don't put this in your message, this special banana or whatever in your message.
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: I know you didn't read it Exactly, but do people do it?
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: Yes, do they Do what?
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: Read it or no?
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: actually use the special message.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: Don't pay attention to the ones that don't.
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there you go, and then you can just move right.
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: It's exhausting.
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: Yes, I love Italian food.
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: Yes, I want to go to Italy.
• 47:26
  Speaker 3: Yes, I love the beach.
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: But wait, have you never said, hey, I like Italian food?
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: And then somebody would be like oh, actually just came back from.
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: Italy, and then you're like oh, that's a great story.
• 47:37
  Speaker 3: No, what they're so superficial and so basic You're making a generalization, okay, and so basic You're making a generalization, okay.
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: So yes, you are correct, it is tedious.
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: Also, there's the fact that you have to be able to find that fun in order to, I would say, be successful.
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: But do the online dating.
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: You have to find that process fun, which I do.
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: I have a mentally exhausting job that I do all day.
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: I have this that I do.
• 48:05
  Speaker 3: That takes up a lot of time in my life and a lot of energy in my life for a lot of the things that I do in the background and on the forefront of it.
• 48:12
  Speaker 3: You know I'm not not.
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: Oh, what is mean here?
• 48:17
  Speaker 3: I'm just saying, then, the idea of going through profiles and answering the same fucking questions about myself on a regular basis and getting rejected in the same way on a regular basis, I'm just it's not entertaining, it's not fun.
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: I would just rather enjoy my life and wait for random bar guy, friend of a friend, happen to be at the same casino at the same event, meet up.
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: So you're perfectly content, going like five, six, possibly 10 year spans of being alone.
• 48:56
  Speaker 3: I have, I've been alone.
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: But I'm saying you're content with that part?
• 49:01
  Speaker 3: I mean define alone.
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: Am I ever really?
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: alone, unvoluntary, solitudeary in a romantic, intimate relationship.
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: Because see, that's the misconception is just because I'm not in a relationship doesn't mean I'm alone that's what I'm saying.
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: It depends on what your, what your choice is.
• 49:16
  Speaker 3: I'm generally alone content, hanging out with my friends and socializing with every friends and having genuine good interactions and social time with my friends, and I'm also very content going on a cruise by myself okay.
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: So there's difference between alone and solitude.
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: Alone is involuntary.
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: You didn't want to be by yourself.
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: Solitude is your.
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: You are voluntary, you are purposely being by yourself.
• 49:40
  Speaker 3: So there's a difference.
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean I'm I'm okay with both in in spurts.
• 49:45
  Speaker 3: Like I said, I go out to dinner by myself.
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: I'll go to a movie by myself.
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: That's solitude.
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: That's still volunteer.
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you are volunteer.
• 49:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I have no problem, I've been on a cruise by myself, I have no problem doing these things.
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: Again, that's solitude.
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: We're talking about being alone and lonely.
• 49:59
  Speaker 2: That's involuntary.
• 50:00
  Speaker 3: Who's okay being lonely?
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: Some people are.
• 50:07
  Speaker 3: I don't like the feeling of being lonely, but I am very happy and content in my own company.
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: So solitude versus loneliness, See, for me, I prefer my solitude.
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: That's why I do the solo poly thing.
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: But there are times where I'm alone and it's like damn no, but then I'm also like I don't want a girlfriend at that time, but I do enjoy that whole process that you find annoying.
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: I like coming talking to new people because even though I ask the same question first of all, usually times they haven't been asked that question, even though I've asked it millions of times.
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: To me it's just common, but they're like oh, I've never had anybody ask me that question before and it's like I think I asked that like 10 minutes ago to somebody else.
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: And also I like the fact that I ask the same question but I get different answers most of the time.
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: Yet again, it could be the thing versus men versus women, because in general that's who I talk to, but I haven't gone down the guy thing, so I'll get back to you on that.
• 51:03
  Speaker 3: Also, I am also not.
• 51:06
  Speaker 3: I am so over the talking stage, where you meet somebody online and you talk and you get to where you have regular interaction online or on your phone.
• 51:18
  Speaker 3: You even have phone conversations.
• 51:20
  Speaker 3: It could go great for a couple weeks and then they just go.
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: They're just ghosted, they're just gone.
• 51:25
  Speaker 3: No explanation.
• 51:27
  Speaker 3: They're just gone, no explanation, they're just gone and you're just like are you fucking like, how old are we?
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: yeah, really yeah like you don't have enough maturity in your pinky toe to just be like I found somebody that I'm very attracted to and and have an interest in, and I'm not going to be able to pursue this with you anymore.
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: That's so simple to say I said objectification and I'm not going to be able to pursue this with you anymore.
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: That's so simple to say.
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: That's that objectification thing.
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: You're not an actual person.
• 51:51
  Speaker 3: It's exhausting.
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: That's the bad part of it.
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: I agree on that.
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: I just like in between.
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: Whatever outcome it is, I enjoy that process.
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: Part of it.
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: I don't.
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: I enjoy getting to know somebody.
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: I do, but even if it up together or no, I enjoy getting to know somebody.
• 52:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I do.
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: I enjoy the beginning, but even if it doesn't end up anywhere it's still enjoyable.
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: No, because then it just feels like a colossal waste of time.
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, but what were you going to do in the meantime?
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: anyway, See, when I'm talking to somebody, it's not like I'm doing anything because I'm not going to stop talking to somebody.
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: If I'm being productive In that point, I could have just been watching a podcast anyway.
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: So I'm going to talk to somebody random.
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: For me, that's not a waste of time, because I wasn't doing anything productive, constructive in the first place.
• 52:32
  Speaker 2: I guess I'm Because when are you talking to them?
• 52:36
  Speaker 2: Are you talking to them when you're working or when you're doing something, or are you just doing it when you're bored?
• 52:40
  Speaker 3: I don't know, it's all been random.
• 52:42
  Speaker 3: Sometimes I've you know, you get messages when you're at work and you shoot off a quick message How's?
• 52:47
  Speaker 3: Your day going and then times you're talking to them while you're walking through a store and not doing anything else.
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, how is it a waste of time then.
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: You weren't doing anything productive in the first place.
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: It feels like a waste of time when you're just ghosted.
• 53:06
  Speaker 2: I mean you can't do anything about that?
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: No, I can't, I can.
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: I can just not do it to begin with.
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: That's your choice too.
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: But yeah, so that's your choice.
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: Is that?
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: Is that like taking energy away from you doing something that you want to do?
• 53:14
  Speaker 3: I think it's just it's.
• 53:15
  Speaker 3: It's not that it it's, it's just tiring yes, that's what I say.
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: You gotta figure out for yourself.
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: Is it taking energy away from you for something you want to do?
• 53:29
  Speaker 3: I get that society has changed and I get that the culture around online you can't worry about that.
• 53:34
  Speaker 2: You can't worry about that, it's changed and I can't, if you listen, to the experts.
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: They'll tell you that, in order to find a partner, in order to be successful, you have to be willing to be online, because that's where a lot of the interactions are at.
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm hearing.
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: No, the actual experts.
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: The one thing they say is get a hobby.
• 53:53
  Speaker 3: You meet people at your hobby.
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: It has to be something you want to do during a time that you want to do it Right.
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: That's what they say, that's what the real experts say.
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: I can say the real experts, but it's the ones that actually don't just spout off some bullshit.
• 54:06
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: There's actual people that did the research and looked at the different papers, because there's a bunch of studies on this that I don't understand, that people don't get there's studies out here for these different things and that's the number one thing they say Go find a hobby, because at least it's not wasting your time because it's something you want to do.
• 54:22
  Speaker 3: You already wanted to do it.
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: And then it's not the online thing, because a lot of them agree that online dating apps are shit Because they're filtering out stuff that nobody actually cares about.
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: Who really cares how much money you're making?
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: I want to know that you're doing something.
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: Or once you get in an algorithm, you can't get out of it, and so you're stuck seeing the same types of people.
• 54:41
  Speaker 3: And they choose who they show you based on random things that are in your who paid the most, or whatever, or whatever.
• 54:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's.
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: I don't care about the person that got the most likes.
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: I want to be with somebody that does something with their thing.
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: Exactly so yeah, the actual relationship.
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: People they say go find a hobby, because at least you're doing something you find is fun.
• 55:00
  Speaker 2: So that's what I want to ask you and everybody else to do.
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: Figure so that's what I want to ask you and everybody else to do.
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: Figure out for yourself, do a little meditation.
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: I hate that you do a little meditation.
• 55:08
  Speaker 3: I don't like that.
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: You gotta do a little meditation.
• 55:10
  Speaker 3: No.
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, how many name 10 types of meditation for me.
• 55:15
  Speaker 3: Huh.
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: Name 10 types of meditation 10 types of meditation.
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: There's over 100 different types of meditation.
• 55:21
  Speaker 3: Please name 10.
• 55:22
  Speaker 3: Sleeping Maybe.
• 55:23
  Speaker 3: Sleeping maybe, because that's what I end up doing when I try to meditate.
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: What's the goal of meditation?
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: clarity and relaxation.
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: No you can get that from meditation, but that's not the goal of meditation centering that's a step of meditation.
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: The goal of meditation is to be one self aware and then also.
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: Finally, the end part is changing a behavior.
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: So you want to get to a point where you can.
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: That's where all the breathing and stuff is.
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: But there's a hundred plus different ways to get to this point, but the goal, end goal of meditation is being able to change a behavior or a habit that's the end point.
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: But that's where they get the breathing and stuff in there, because you have to be self-aware.
• 56:07
  Speaker 2: You know there's people that have emotions.
• 56:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: One.
• 56:12
  Speaker 2: They don't know what the emotion is that they're having.
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: I just taught a class on this.
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: There's actually disorders.
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: yes, but one way of doing that is by being more self-aware.
• 56:21
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: Because a lot of the leading people out there, the experts that I'm not that they have a big thing that people aren't self-aware and the number one way to change a habit or something, a way of thinking, is to be aware of what you're thinking and how you're feeling.
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: That makes sense.
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: But, yes, there's a hundred different types of meditation out there.
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: But I ask people, please this is my platform Just be more self-aware of where your energy is coming from and where it is going.
• 56:45
  Speaker 3: And when you're meeting somebody who is interested in something that you've never had access to before, like the lifestyle or kink or BDSM or non-monogamy or any of these things, always to me, always check your intent.
• 56:59
  Speaker 3: What is the intent behind the questions that you're asking?
• 57:02
  Speaker 3: Is the intent for your own growth, is it for your own understanding?
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: Or is it because you're asking is the intent for your own growth?
• 57:14
  Speaker 3: Is it for your own understanding?
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: Or is it because you're genuinely curious and you've never actually had a person to be able to talk to about this before?
• 57:18
  Speaker 3: Or is it because, oh my god, that's fucking sexy and you know, like don't objectify, like just be genuine and and check intent.
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: You just started saying that I puked in my mouth a little bit.
• 57:27
  Speaker 3: See, just check your intent.
• 57:29
  Speaker 3: And if you are genuine with your intent and you are coming from a place of learning, then you're more likely to get better responses.
• 57:47
  Speaker 3: And better reactions and more deeper, fulfilling conversations from people, because they're not like.
• 57:55
  Speaker 3: One of the biggest reasons why a lot of those things are red flags for me is because even in the lifestyle, people can have a tendency to treat people with a lot of experience as kink dispensers.
• 58:07
  Speaker 3: You have all the things, you know all the things, so I want all the things from you.
• 58:13
  Speaker 2: Well, no, Do whatever you want to me Exactly.
• 58:21
  Speaker 3: Oh well, you're the person who knows everything, so I'm just along for the ride.
• 58:24
  Speaker 3: I'll let you control it all, nope.
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: You're going to do knows everything.
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: So I'm just along for the ride.
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: I'll let you control it all, Nope.
• 58:26
  Speaker 3: You're going to do your research?
• 58:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you see that.
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: We're going to name all those different things.
• 58:31
  Speaker 2: You're going to tell me what each one of them are.
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: That's the first thing I do.
• 58:33
  Speaker 2: What's this?
• 58:34
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 58:34
  Speaker 2: Do you know the name of this?
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: Nope.
• 58:36
  Speaker 3: So have good intent, have honest, good intent for For your own sake, and you'll see that you have.
• 58:44
  Speaker 3: And it could be about anything.
• 58:46
  Speaker 3: It doesn't even have to be about kink or BDSM or non-monogamy or any of those things.
• 58:50
  Speaker 3: It could be about racquetball, it could be about cooking.
• 58:54
  Speaker 3: If you were to meet somebody online that is a chef, right, are you going to, once you find out that they're a chef, or is all you're gonna talk about?
• 59:05
  Speaker 3: Is all the dinners you want them to cook you, you know?
• 59:08
  Speaker 3: I mean, how long would that last for a person and where the chef is going to be?
• 59:12
  Speaker 3: Like, you're just using me because of my profession.
• 59:15
  Speaker 3: How is this any different?
• 59:16
  Speaker 3: Yep, you know, if, if you meet, if I met a guy online who was a, a mechanic, and the only thing I ever talked about was all the things that could go wrong with my car or my car's making this noise or this noise and I don't bring up any other aspect about that guy why is that any different?
• 59:32
  Speaker 3: Nobody would put up with that.
• 59:34
  Speaker 3: But it's okay to say I don't put up with that, but because this is about kink or sex or BDSM or anything like that, then you get offended because I don't want to talk about it.
• 59:44
  Speaker 3: I want you to do your own research.
• 59:46
  Speaker 3: I want you to do your own knowledge-based understanding Like why is that any different?
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: Yes, I agree.
• 59:53
  Speaker 2: Let's do it.
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: Put it out there to the people.
• 59:55
  Speaker 2: We're going to delete that meme.
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: It's not any different than all those other things that you mentioned, like chefing.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't even.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: there's a way, there's a way to go about it and it's like where do we start?
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: So many?
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 3: different things, oh my god, but yes, but it does not start with me creating an online profile.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 2: It does not start there sure, if you don't find it fun, then yes yeah, well, do it.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: if you don't find it fun, go then.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: Yes, I can't do it.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, do it.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: If you don't find it fun, go find a hobby.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 2: There you go.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 2: Yes, so on the objectification thing, we can do a big old umbrella under there, because that has to do with ghosting too.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, with the being objectified in the kink sense, and then ghosting is all under there.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 3: Well, it's just like when you tell somebody that you are non-monogamous, oh, you're a swinger, you don't have sex with anybody, or the people that like to say they're swingers, but then they're just like cheating on their spouse.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: It's like, okay, well, we got more questions here.
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 2: Does your spouse know what you're doing?
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 3: right now?
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, can I get some confirmation of that?
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, okay, all right.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 2: So I'm going to probably have to talk to them, yeah, because you sound bullshit as hell.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 2: And then, speaking of ghosting, hitting and quitting, yeah.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: Dining and dashing, fucking and forgetting.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: Leave him Fucking, find him, forget him.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 3: All those different things.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's even worse after the fucking.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, more questions for the people.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 2: We didn't even really talk about the non-monogamy stuff.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 3: Yes, that, that whole thing with the swinging, and stuff too is another reason.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 3: It's like how do you find out if somebody is genuine or not, right, yeah, um, I'm not saying I have to meet your partner but there has to be a lot of discussion.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we need some kind of there's got to be more than trust me.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 2: I know yeah oh man, let's get a picture going, or the what the red flag is.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 3: Uh, no, you don't need to talk to her.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 3: I am.
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 3: I'm allowed to just do this on my own.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 3: She doesn't want to know anything about it, okay, dude.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 3: So I'm not gonna be the one for you, yeah exactly.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: It's like no, no, no, that's not for me.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 3: No no, no, this is not for me.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 2: No thank you, I'm good.
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 3: Not my flavor of ice cream, oh man.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 2: So yeah, we could do that too.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we had another segment topic, but we tangented it into something else.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 3: And then we're going to start our new intro to meditation and intro to online dating and a future episode That'll be one of his solos.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 3: Yes, I actually expect to hear me on that one.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 2: I will actually solo in there Speaking of soloing.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: Ms Rue, you got a topic for a solo session.
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 3: No, I don't actually.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 2: Yes, I will actually be like for serious.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 2: Julius is going to talk about those those different things and objectification and online dating and all the different places so like to talk about.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 2: Where do you get your energy from?
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 3: me.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 2: Everybody.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 2: This is a rhetorical question.
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 2: I want everybody to think about this self-awareness, awareness, education through awareness.
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 2: I have people and there's one point, because I know you ain't gonna watch no videos that I send you I should put that out somewhere, watch them.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 2: That just doesn't mean I'm gonna engage in them yeah, hour-long podcast episode it depends on the topic it's gonna be all the meditation and self-awareness and stuff.
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 3: I'm not watching an hour-long video on meditation.
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 2: No, I said it was about meditation.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 2: It's not a meditation video.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 2: I don't know that I would do that I would do that as punishment or something, yeah no this is about meditation and it talked about the stuff I talked about, because the guy that I listened to specifically talked about meditation and that there's over 100 forms of meditation and why yoga is not just bending your body.
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 2: That's like one of the seven parts of yoga.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 2: Yes all that stuff.
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 2: But anyways, I should put that on the link somewhere so people will be like what is he talking about?
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 2: It's like here, but the problem is it is an hour-long podcast and I know some people have attention span issues.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 2: So I got to clip those out of the YouTube video and put them somewhere so people have access to them.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 2: Can you do?
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 2: 15?
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: minutes.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I can do 15 minutes.
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 1: I can do that oh good Lord.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 2: Well, this has been another exciting, thrilling episode in the journey of online dating with Ms Rue, oh my gosh, it's not a journey, it's a journey.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: It's a journey.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 2: This is all a journey.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 2: We're a journey.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 2: It's a journey.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 2: This is all a journey.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 2: We're getting from one point to the other.
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 2: It's not about the beginning and the end.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 2: It's the journey.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 2: It's the middle part, it's the middle.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 2: All who wander are not lost.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: Very true.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there you go, there you go.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 2: This has been another exciting episode of Around the Kinky Campfire Campfire with a K should be seeing new episode.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 2: Seeing hearing new episodes every second and fourth thursdays of the month, for the most part.
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 2: Solo episodes every first and third thursdays of the month, for the most part.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 2: Catch us on campfire kinksters with the k's in uh instagram or uh email us at around the kinky campfire at yahoo if you have any questions or want to be sponsored White Claw we're looking at you.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: Neutral we're looking at you.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 2: We're not sponsored.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 2: Screwball Whiskey yeah, always Screwball Whiskey yeah, we'll be doing that there.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 2: Better Help, I don't even know all the podcast.
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 2: People Shopify all this stuff.
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 2: I'll be the whore for the sponsors.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 2: I'll be the whore for the sponsors.
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 2: I'll do that, get some production up in here, but that's it for now.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 2: Who are you?
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 2: This is Rue.
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 2: Who was?
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 2: I pause for dramatic effect Bartholomew Hunt.
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 2: I remembered I knew what it was, I was just acting.
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 2: Another thing I'll do for the sponsorship is just put it down there.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 2: Catch us next time.
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 1: Goodbye and hello.