Latest / Callum Walker | Figuring It Out / #83 - How To Deal With Social Media Hate [Part 2]

Transcript

#83 - How To Deal With Social Media Hate [Part 2] · Callum Walker | Figuring It Out

• 0:03
  Callum: If fear is the only thing stopping us from achieving our dreams and we only fear what we don't understand, then the antidote to fear is knowledge. All we have to do is find out who has the knowledge that we need to conquer our fears and achieve our entrepreneurial dreams. My name is Callum Walker and welcome to the podcast that will help you figure it out and conquer this lonely entrepreneurial journey. The second part. So I put up a YouTube video.
• 0:30
  When was it? Tuesday? I primarily promoted the post through Facebook and I've had over 100 comments on there. It really really has been quite strange because basically the post that I put up was aimed at personal trainers. I basically was talking about how a calorie deficit as a nutritional strategy is not good enough.
• 0:48
  Like it's not good enough. Just by saying to someone that you need to eat less and move more in order to lose weight, it's not good enough. Not only is it letting your clients down but it's also letting you down. I see so many personal trainers and online coaches just basically saying, if you haven't lost weight it's because you're not in
• 1:03
  Callum: a calorie deficit.
• 1:04
  Callum: That is literally like me saying, if you're not making money it's because you have more money going out of your account than coming into your account. That is really really unhelpful advice. It is. And basically I put up this post basically articulating that and then within the video I basically spoke about how it's letting you down and also your clients. As a personal trainer, as a coach, you know just by saying like hey you know here's a calorie going, here's a macronutrient split.
• 1:29
  It's not helpful enough. It might work with a couple of people but you're also going to have a big portion of clients who aren't making progress and aren't getting results. And off the back of that, that just leaves you with clients that are dropping off, with that relentless impostor syndrome, that self doubt, that fear and that worry that your clients are going to leave you or question whether you're actually good enough or not. So it obviously isn't working as a strategy. One your clients aren't getting results or consistent results and they're hitting plateaus or two for you you're constantly feeling that impostor syndrome.
• 2:00
  And again I come back to that, I'm not making that up. Because one when I was a personal trainer and when I was coaching early on I was experiencing that same thing. And secondly I speak to hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of coaches consistently who come to me with that same experience. And then when I go and teach them about low carb, when I go and teach them about lowering insulin, do you know what happens? Two things.
• 2:24
  First of all, their clients start miraculously getting results without lowering calories and without doing more exercise while eating foods that are higher in fat. Their clients start getting results to the point where they're losing up to 10 to 14 pounds of body fat every twenty eight days without tracking macros, without counting calories, without lowering it. That happens. Not only does that happen with their clients, it used to happen with all of my clients. But then secondly, I get all of these personal trainers, all of these online coaches who have worked with me, gone through the whole process and they're like I don't feel that impostor syndrome anymore.
• 2:55
  So again I kind of come back to the criticism that I'm getting. Previously it would have hurt me a lot but it doesn't hurt me to the same extent anymore solely because I have evidence. I have evidence that it's the point. And then if I kind of look at the video that I put up, I put the video up talking about this thing. And I'm sharing my experience as a coach and I'm also sharing my experience of the experience of other coaches.
• 3:18
  Now it was really interesting because I got absolutely slighted. I had all of these sorry I have just spat on the microphone. Well we're not during Covid anymore so that's alright. I might have to wear a mask for the next one. Anyway, if I look at kind of the criticism that I got, it was kind of a fiftyfifty split.
• 3:35
  I had 50% of people who were people that I was expecting. I was expecting the calorie deficit crew to come in and basically just get incredibly aggressive with their lynches and their mobs and their fires and all this sort of stuff. And that happened. But then what was really interesting as well that I had another 50% of people who were getting quite aggressive towards each other actually who were saying that like, well I tried a calorie deficit, I tried tracking my macros, I tried eating less, moving more, I've been to swimming world, weight watchers, I've had PTs, I've had dietitians who all put me on a low fat, high carb diet, got me counting my calories and it didn't work for me. It didn't.
• 4:10
  It was really interesting because there were people really kinda getting aggressive towards each other. And I want to kind of share to you here that if that YouTube video had been put up and I got those comments three years ago, I would not have slept for about five or six days easily. I would have been panicking, would have been worried, I really would have felt like an immense amount of pain from it. But this time around I kind of haven't. I'm almost kind of like, well two things have happened.
• 4:36
  One I've kind of laughed at some of the stupidity of the comments. And also I've been really I felt really sad. I felt really sad that this is the state of the industry because this is something that I do feel very very passionate about really really and don't like. If I look at the majority of comments that I actually got, and I don't care about the comments for myself, but I felt quite sad that this is what is happening and that it's okay to happen. The majority of posts were also from people who were tagging a very influential person on social media.
• 5:13
  He's got 155,000 followers on Instagram. And they were tagging him in the video and this guy, if I kind of put it down, basically some loud mouthed meat head who's just kinda just spouting off though
• 5:24
  Callum: if we're not losing weight you're
• 5:25
  Callum: in a calorie deficit. Yeah I'm not gonna name this person or call them out but they were just tagging him in there. What they were tagging him to do was that they were tagging him to basically say like I want your thoughts and I want your opinions. And if I look through his content, the majority of his content is basically the classic I'm filming myself and I'm just going to slag someone else off to get reach, to get impressions, to get likes. For some reason it is okay for people to go like right what I actually want is for someone else to criticize someone else.
• 5:58
  And what's really sad is that if we actually look at one of the core fears, you know if you've been listening to this podcast for a long time you know one of my favourite, I know it is my favourite book and the most influential book that has had a huge impact on my life is Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich. And he basically talks about the primary thing that causes people to have a negative experience of life. He basically talks about it as being fear. And at the top of the primary fears that people experience is the fear of criticism. It is the fear of criticism.
• 6:29
  Go and find me someone who does not have this deep rooted, at some point, a deep rooted sense of a worry about being criticised. We don't like it. No one likes it. And I think it's sad that there's a lot of people there who obviously will also share that fear of criticism who are also calling for other people to be criticized. And to be honest it kinda took me back to school.
• 6:52
  It kinda took me back to almost kinda the playground where it's like what we're actually going to do is we're all going to gang up together and the way to make me feel more heard, more seen and more accepted is to tear someone else down. It kind of brings me to the other part which is the thing that I personally think is the most disgusting part about the fitness industry. The most disgusting part about Instagram, about YouTube. And it's been going on for a fair few years now which is the fact that so many people and so many coaches and influencers are making their money, they are making their career off the back of going, the way that I'm going to have the tallest building in town is by tearing everyone else's building down. The way that I'm going to have the biggest, brightest burning fire in the camp is by pissing on everyone else's fire.
• 7:37
  Now in marketing, there is a concept called throwing rocks at the enemy. One, you're throwing rocks or you want to create The Us versus them. So you could potentially see it through the lens of when there are people who are throwing rocks and taking advantage of throwing rocks so to speak, you could see that as marketing genius. You go, oh well you're a genius. Like you're doing really really well and that makes so much sense because it's an insanely polarising message and people love that.
• 8:05
  Personally, I personally see the way that it's being gone about in the fitness industry actually as a sign of weakness. Because I see it as how little of yourself do you think of yourself that you feel that the only way for you to actually get engagement in your content, the only way for you to actually become influential, the only way that you feel that you can become a authoritative figure is by tearing everyone else down. And I kinda don't really see who that really serves. First of all, if I look at a lot of the younger coaches out there who don't quite have the level of experience yet, who don't quite have the hardened shell, And again I kind of spoke about earlier that evidence and that ability to accumulate your confidence off the back of the evidence that you've got. They may not have that yet.
• 8:53
  And the thing that I hate and I feel is absolutely disgusting is that you have a personal trainer who is going to be posting about nutritional tips. And let's say they decide to go like, Right, you know what, I've actually been doing a low carb diet for a little bit and I've a couple of clients who are doing really, really well. Now here's the thing that happens. You have some loud mouth meathead goes what I'm gonna do is I've just seen this video, they're talking a load of nonsense and what I'm gonna do is absolutely cite them so that it can benefit me. Now here's what's actually happening.
• 9:19
  For a moment you feel all big in your boots and you're like yeah I'm king of the world because I'm tearing someone else down, getting all of these likes, getting all these people who are now being drawn towards me. But here's the thing that you're doing that you don't see that you've actually done. That young personal trainer, that young coach who's been absolutely petrified to put themself out there. Absolutely petrified to put themself out there out of fear of criticism. Their fear has been confirmed.
• 9:44
  They have just been absolutely slated. They are being posted all around the shop. And do you know what happens now? That personal trainer will not want to go and grow their business. That personal trainer, that coach is now going to go social media is not for me because I'm not interested in that.
• 9:59
  And do know what that does? It does a couple of things. First of all in terms of the personal trainer, they're trying to grow a business. They're trying to grow a business. They're trying to get themselves out They're trying to make a living.
• 10:08
  They have gone do you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna place a bet on myself. I'm gonna put myself out there and I'm going to create a lifestyle that breaks me out of the trap that I'm currently in and I'm gonna put myself out there in order to better the life of myself, my partner, my friends, my family. You have just shit all over that. Congratulations Mr Big Boots.
• 10:24
  Secondly, if you actually look at what a coaching business is, what is a coaching business? A coaching business is built off the back of helping people and coaching people. So also think of all the people in the gym pop who now are going to miss out on a potential coach that could help them overcome the legitimate problems and challenges. If that coach is not putting themself out there, if that coach is not sharing their voice, their knowledge and really going like hey here's an opportunity to be able to change your life and solve a problem that has been nagging at you for so many years. That coach isn't doing that now.
• 10:56
  There are so many clients now who are gonna miss out on a coach that could potentially help them. All for someone's ego. And I just think it's really really disgusting and really really sad that this is the case. Now again, how can this help you if you have been criticised or you're scared of being criticised? I think that it comes down to it's not just about you.
• 11:17
  In terms of being criticised, I get it. It really, really does hurt and it has hurt me over the years. But then also when you start to realise that you have a moral obligation to go and share your knowledge, you have a moral obligation to share the education to help people, it makes it a little bit easier. If you're listening to this on the podcast you can't see it but I've got Spider Man is of course introduced into the first instalment of this. So this here is something that will really really help you in terms of your longer term mission and it allows you to become a little bit more bulletproof to the criticism.
• 11:53
  So here, this is a doll. Yes I am holding a doll. Okay, I am. But it's a really, really, really important doll. Why is it an important doll?
• 12:05
  Because we have two people in this doll. We have Spider Man. We also have who Spider Man is also known as which is Peter Parker. So who is Peter Parker? Peter Parker is well basically a guy who dresses up in a costume and becomes Spider Man.
• 12:18
  This is also actually a doll from one of the most famous Spider Man comics that was ever produced. It was also spoken about in Spider Man two. In this specific comic book, I'm gonna kinda put it down. What happened was that Peter Parker who's Spider Man, he'd been Spider Man for a while. He was fighting all of these bad guys.
• 12:37
  He was doing his duty. He was saving New York. In the process of that he was also getting heavily criticised by so many people. And he was being heavily criticised specifically by the Daily Bugle. So the Daily Bugle is the newspaper within the Marvel Comic Universe and specifically within Spider Man.
• 12:55
  And you've got J. Jonah Jameson who for some reason despite all of the amazing things that Spider Man does to help people just wants to tear Spider Man down. Eventually what happens is that Peter Parker starts to ask the question like what on earth am I doing this for? Why on earth am I taking all of these unnecessary blows, getting this unnecessary criticism? For what?
• 13:16
  Like if I actually look at my own life, I'm missing out on a relationship with Mary Jane. I don't see my friends. I'm failing my studies. I don't get paid for this. I never see my aunt.
• 13:25
  She's constantly worried about me and I'm not happy. I'm missing out on all of these things to go and save a city that for some reason just wants to tear me down. And as you can actually see in this here. So it's a really really famous comic book cover. Effectively what you have is Peter Parker walking away from the Spider Man identity.
• 13:46
  Peter Parker decides to give up being Spider Man. And he goes I'm done. I quit. I'm not interested anymore. I'm done.
• 13:55
  Pete quits being Spider Man and the city goes to shit. The city goes to shit. But Peter Parker is happy. He's got no stress. He's got no more criticism because Spider Man's gone away and no one knows that Peter Parker is Spider Man.
• 14:08
  He starts to have a relationship with Mary Jane. He's able to attend her theatre shows, he takes her out on dates, he doesn't let her down, he sees his friends, he's doing really well and he studies. Life is just really really good for him. And what happens is that the Green Goblin takes over and the city goes to ruin and Peter Parker just continues to walk on and goes no not my problem anymore, like you were incredibly ungrateful, not interested, I'm just gonna crack on. Doctor Octopus comes along and he absolutely tears down New York City and he goes not my problem anymore.
• 14:41
  The longer that Peter Parker decides to just put the desires of himself ahead of everyone else, what starts to happen is it starts to kind of eat away at him and eat away at him and at eat him. And there's a really, really important part where he then starts to realise that it was never about him. That you have old men and women, you have children, you have families that are being absolutely terrorised by these people. And it was his duty and his job to be their protector. And he starts to realise that the minute that he actually put on the Spider Man suit he became Spider Man.
• 15:19
  And I think that that's also something that ties in with entrepreneurship in general. I've always kind of found that the minute that I decided to run a business my whole life changed. Don't get me wrong, there have been times especially when I've been criticised where I've gone why on earth am I doing this thing? What is this actually for? Why on earth do I put myself through this relentless struggle, uncertainty of income, clients moaning at me, criticism on social media?
• 15:47
  Why on earth will I continue to put myself through all of that to get criticised? For what? And I think that there comes a point where especially when you're kind of centred around your own clients. And if you're early on in your journey you may not have fully experienced this but if I kind of look at myself I've got a community of just over 70 personal trainers and online coaches who are on my programmes. And I also have my audience of you guys who reach out to me and share with me the impact that this podcast has on you.
• 16:15
  And I have people who see me speak on stage. And when you kind of get that and you have people who say like, I was really struggling and you really, really helped me. You start to realise that it's not really about you. Once you kind of get out of the survival mode side of things from a financial perspective where you can make way and you can fund your lifestyle, you start to kind of move forward towards your real kind of mission with things. You start to kind of realise that it's the impact that you have on other people and how they impact you and that fundamentally as soon as you decided to be an entrepreneur you actually put your Spider Man suit on and it's not a suit that you can ever really take off.
• 16:49
  So I think the point that I'm coming at in tying this back to the criticism. Really is there's gonna be times where you're questioning like why on earth do I put myself through this? And I think that part of the way that you become immune to the criticism is really getting clear on whose opinion that you actually do value. If I look at my clients, it was really quite emotional actually because I had a lot of the personal trainers who are clients of mine jump on that post and basically share all of the results that they've got and also all of the results that they've managed to get with their clients. And basically say like, hey, this stuff actually works.
• 17:22
  And to see other people go like, no, no, no, no, no, don't go and shit on my man. It's very, very, very humbling. And I think that one piece of advice that I would definitely give you, make sure that you're clear on who you would actually take criticism from. I've really started to operate from a place of I will only take negative feedback from people's whose opinion I actually value and who I actually respect. And it was really interesting because on Friday, so we were in Wales and I went to see the Fantastic Four.
• 17:51
  Great film, go and see it. Marvel aback, definitely. And I went to see the Fantastic Four. It was interesting because I saw this bloke and it was about 12:00 in the afternoon. And this bloke was staggering out of a pub at 12:00 and he's got a high vis jacket on.
• 18:06
  He looks incredibly like, incredibly ill, incredibly unhappy and he looked very similar to one of the people who was criticising me on my post. I literally had this still in my mind, was like Cal, that's who you're being criticised by. Are you actually going to take that person's opinion? Whose opinions do you actually value? And if I kind of look at the people whose criticism that I will legitimately take on board is people who I respect, people who I value, and I also know that they will have a clear way of actually providing that constructive feedback.
• 18:37
  So there we go. Never forget, if every one of your clients gave you just one new client, you've doubled your business. Have you got a client who isn't losing weight right now and you have absolutely no idea why? And maybe you're worrying that if nothing changes, they could drop off at any moment? Well, I've got a free nutrition master class for you where I reveal the secret nutrition strategy that guarantees that that stuck client loses two to four pounds in the next seven days without lowering their calories, upping their cardio, or even tracking macros.
• 19:10
  Click the link in the description to get access to the free elite nutrition secrets masterclass and get your client moving in the right direction, stopping them dropping off today.