Latest / Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor / Value Your Time With Carly Taylor

Transcript

Value Your Time With Carly Taylor · Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, it's Cully here and welcome to this week's
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Mojo Monday. So recently I had lunch with my dad,
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: who is eighty eight, and my twenty year old daughter
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: and my father he must be one of the busiest
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: eighty eight year olds around, so I was lucky that
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: he was free on this day and I just want
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: to kind of set the scene. So he somehow managed
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: to secure the best table at the restaurant. It was
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: outside on a balcony overlooking a waterway filled with boats,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: and it was a late autumn day and the sun
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: was really sort of gifting us its warm rays, so
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: it was a really, really beautiful day. And we chatted
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: about our Scottish family history and the life of his
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: cousin who had recently passed away, and my daughter's birthday celebrations,
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: and then my dad decided to offer some of his
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: wisdom to her. And this is what he said, Here's
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: what I can offer you. At twenty years old, I
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: always thought life would be better in the future. I
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: worked hard, but it was mostly for a life far off.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: My advice to you is this, set your goals, work hard,
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: but always cherish the present moment. So hearing those words
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: from my dad really filled my heart with warmth, and
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: it got me thinking a bit more deeply about how
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: we spend our time. So time is one of our
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: most valuable things that we have, yet if you're anything
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: like me, it's probably not something you consciously think about
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: very often. We're often just on autopilot. And it's worth
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: doing a time audit every now and then because now
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: more than ever, it's easy to spend hours on things
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: that add very little to our lives, and once a
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: moment has passed, you don't get it back. So my father,
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: who's eighty eight years old, has become quite reflective about
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: his life, and given he's made it this far, I
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: think he's earned the right to offer a few insights
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: about how to spend our time. We all have to work,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: that's the reality of life, and hopefully there's meaning in
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: your work, providing for your family, creating opportunities for travel
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: and growth and experiences. And there's also the everyday responsibilities,
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: you know, the admin, the household, Judy's, the jobs that
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: come with just living an ordered life. But what about
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: the rest of your time? How are you spending it?
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Are you enjoying hobbies or exercising, or connecting with friends
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: and family, or pausing to soak up the beauty of nature,
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: or even just sitting quietly with a coffee and just thinking,
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: or patting your dog. So there's an exercise that I
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: want to give you that I often use with my
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: clients very early on in the first cuple sessions, and
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: it really helps them reflect on how they're spending their time,
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: reflects on their values, the things that are important to them,
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: and whether how they're using their time aligns with what
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: they truly value. So, after having lunch with my dad
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: that day, I thought I would adapt that exercise very slightly.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: So this is it. So imagine your life continues exactly
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: as it is today. You spend your time and energy
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: on the same things week after week, year after year.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: And now imagine that you are eighty eight years old
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: and you're having lunch with your grandchild. You're having meaningful conversations,
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: and then you offer them some wisdom. So there's three
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: things that you tell them, I spent too much time
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: worrying about, and now you fill in the gaps. I
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: spent too little time doing things. So much as if
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: I could go back in time, what I'd do differently.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: Is so for me? The answers might look something like
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: I spent too much time worrying about the future, too
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: much time worrying about what people thought of me or
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: my endless to do list or money, and too much
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: time on world affairs that are beyond my control. I
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: spent too little time doing things like enjoying hobbies or
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: just pausing and enjoying the moments, spending time with friends,
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: calling friends, relaxing and just enjoying life. And if I
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: could go back in time, I would definitely spend less
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: time scrolling on my phone. I'd be more intentional with
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: my time. I would call my parents more, spend more
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: time in nature, and place even a high priority of
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: my health and well being. I think this is a
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: really powerful exercise because it helps us compare what we
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: say we value with how we're actually spending our lives.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: You know, is there a gap? If you value your
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: health but eat junk food every day, then there's a gap.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: If you value learning and growth but spend hours mindlessly
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: scrolling instead of practicing or creating or developing new skills,
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: then there's a gap. If you value connection but rarely
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: make time for the people that you love, then there's
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: a gap. Then good news is is that if we
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: create awareness, then we open ourselves more up to choice.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: So you don't have to wait until you're eighty eight
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: years old to make changes. You certainly don't have to
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: wait until you're eighty eight until you realize the things
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: that you could have done differently. You can start today.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: You can change the story your future self will tell.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: You can change the advice you're going to give your
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: grain and children. You can change what you'll be grateful for,
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: what you're proud of, and the wisdom that you'll have
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: to share. Because the way we spend our time becomes
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: the way we spend our lives, and one day, when
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: you look back, you want to do so with gratitude, pride,
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: and wisdom. So thank you so much for joining me.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: That's it for this week's Mojo Monday, and I'll catch
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: you next week. See ya,