Latest / Notes to Her / Note 48: Be Real With Yourself — That’s Where Confidence Starts

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Note 48: Be Real With Yourself — That’s Where Confidence Starts · Notes to Her

• 0:18
  Hey,
• 0:18
  girl.
• 0:18
  Hey.
• 0:19
  Welcome
• 0:19
  back
• 0:19
  to
• 0:19
  notes
• 0:20
  to
• 0:20
  her,
• 0:20
  the
• 0:20
  daily
• 0:20
  pep
• 0:21
  talk.
• 0:21
  I'm
• 0:21
  Yaya,
• 0:22
  your
• 0:22
  confidence
• 0:22
  and
• 0:23
  mindset
• 0:23
  coach,
• 0:23
  here
• 0:24
  to
• 0:24
  help
• 0:24
  you
• 0:24
  stop
• 0:24
  shrinking,
• 0:25
  stop,
• 0:25
  stop
• 0:25
  overthinking
• 0:26
  and
• 0:26
  stop
• 0:27
  abandoning
• 0:27
  yourself
• 0:28
  when
• 0:28
  things
• 0:28
  get
• 0:29
  uncomfortable.
• 0:30
  And
• 0:30
  if
• 0:30
  you've
• 0:30
  been
• 0:30
  feeling
• 0:31
  stuck,
• 0:31
  scattered,
• 0:32
  or
• 0:32
  like
• 0:32
  you're
• 0:33
  constantly
• 0:33
  second
• 0:33
  guessing
• 0:34
  yourself,
• 0:35
  this
• 0:35
  note
• 0:35
  is
• 0:35
  for
• 0:36
  you.
• 0:36
  Because
• 0:36
  today
• 0:37
  we're
• 0:37
  talking
• 0:37
  about
• 0:37
  something
• 0:38
  simple
• 0:38
  but
• 0:39
  deep.
• 0:40
  Being
• 0:40
  real
• 0:40
  with
• 0:41
  yourself.
• 0:42
  Not
• 0:42
  performative
• 0:42
  self
• 0:43
  love,
• 0:43
  not
• 0:44
  pretending
• 0:44
  it's
• 0:44
  okay.
• 0:45
  Energy.
• 0:46
  I
• 0:46
  mean
• 0:46
  the
• 0:46
  kind
• 0:46
  of
• 0:47
  self
• 0:47
  awareness
• 0:47
  that
• 0:47
  slows
• 0:48
  you
• 0:48
  down
• 0:48
  enough
• 0:49
  to
• 0:49
  say,
• 0:50
  okay,
• 0:50
  what's
• 0:51
  really
• 0:51
  going
• 0:51
  on
• 0:51
  here?
• 0:52
  So
• 0:52
  let's
• 0:52
  talk
• 0:52
  about
• 0:53
  it.
• 1:02
  I
• 1:03
  talk
• 1:03
  a
• 1:03
  lot
• 1:03
  about
• 1:04
  walking
• 1:04
  into
• 1:04
  a
• 1:05
  room
• 1:05
  like
• 1:05
  you
• 1:05
  own
• 1:05
  it.
• 1:06
  But
• 1:06
  confidence
• 1:06
  isn't
• 1:07
  just
• 1:07
  about
• 1:07
  that.
• 1:08
  Confidence
• 1:09
  is
• 1:09
  knowing
• 1:09
  yourself
• 1:10
  enough
• 1:10
  to
• 1:11
  walk
• 1:11
  in
• 1:12
  without
• 1:12
  needing
• 1:12
  to
• 1:13
  prove
• 1:13
  anything.
• 1:14
  And
• 1:15
  you
• 1:15
  can't
• 1:15
  get
• 1:15
  there
• 1:15
  without
• 1:16
  awareness.
• 1:17
  Self
• 1:17
  awareness
• 1:18
  is
• 1:18
  the
• 1:18
  bridge
• 1:18
  between
• 1:19
  where
• 1:19
  you
• 1:19
  are
• 1:19
  and
• 1:20
  where
• 1:20
  you
• 1:20
  want
• 1:20
  to
• 1:20
  be.
• 1:21
  It's
• 1:21
  the
• 1:21
  pause
• 1:22
  before
• 1:22
  the
• 1:23
  pattern.
• 1:23
  It's
• 1:24
  the
• 1:24
  hmm,
• 1:24
  that
• 1:25
  didn't
• 1:25
  feel
• 1:25
  good
• 1:25
  instead
• 1:26
  of
• 1:26
  brushing
• 1:26
  it
• 1:26
  off.
• 1:27
  It's
• 1:27
  how
• 1:28
  you
• 1:28
  start
• 1:28
  catching
• 1:29
  yourself
• 1:29
  when
• 1:29
  you're
• 1:29
  shrinking.
• 1:30
  It's
• 1:30
  how
• 1:31
  you
• 1:31
  stop
• 1:31
  lying
• 1:31
  to
• 1:31
  yourself
• 1:32
  to
• 1:32
  stay
• 1:32
  comfortable.
• 1:33
  It's
• 1:33
  how
• 1:33
  you
• 1:34
  stop
• 1:34
  abandoning
• 1:34
  your
• 1:35
  needs
• 1:35
  to
• 1:35
  keep
• 1:35
  that
• 1:36
  vibe.
• 1:37
  Because
• 1:38
  in
• 1:38
  my
• 1:38
  years
• 1:38
  of
• 1:38
  coaching,
• 1:39
  I
• 1:39
  have
• 1:39
  learned
• 1:40
  you
• 1:40
  cannot
• 1:41
  grow
• 1:41
  what
• 1:41
  you
• 1:42
  won't
• 1:42
  name,
• 1:43
  you
• 1:43
  cannot
• 1:43
  heal
• 1:44
  what
• 1:44
  you
• 1:44
  won't
• 1:44
  see.
• 1:45
  And
• 1:45
  you
• 1:45
  cannot
• 1:46
  be
• 1:46
  confident
• 1:46
  when
• 1:46
  you're
• 1:47
  confident,
• 1:47
  constantly
• 1:47
  gaslighting
• 1:48
  yourself.
• 1:49
  Now
• 1:50
  I
• 1:50
  want
• 1:50
  to
• 1:50
  be
• 1:50
  real
• 1:50
  with
• 1:51
  you.
• 1:51
  Self
• 1:51
  awareness
• 1:52
  is
• 1:52
  not
• 1:52
  about
• 1:52
  being
• 1:53
  hard
• 1:53
  on
• 1:53
  yourself.
• 1:54
  It's
• 1:54
  not
• 1:55
  I
• 1:55
  keep
• 1:55
  doing
• 1:55
  this
• 1:56
  wrong
• 1:56
  or
• 1:56
  wow,
• 1:56
  I'm
• 1:57
  a
• 1:57
  mess.
• 1:57
  It's
• 1:58
  hmm,
• 1:59
  that
• 1:59
  reaction
• 2:00
  felt
• 2:00
  big.
• 2:01
  I
• 2:01
  wonder
• 2:01
  why
• 2:01
  that
• 2:01
  hit
• 2:02
  so
• 2:02
  hard.
• 2:03
  Or
• 2:04
  I'm
• 2:04
  noticing
• 2:05
  I
• 2:05
  keep
• 2:05
  saying
• 2:05
  yes
• 2:06
  when
• 2:06
  I'm
• 2:06
  already
• 2:06
  tired.
• 2:07
  What's
• 2:07
  behind
• 2:08
  that?
• 2:09
  Awareness
• 2:10
  is
• 2:10
  a
• 2:10
  form
• 2:11
  of
• 2:11
  self
• 2:11
  love.
• 2:12
  Because
• 2:12
  you
• 2:12
  can't
• 2:12
  have
• 2:13
  compassion
• 2:13
  without
• 2:14
  context
• 2:14
  and
• 2:15
  you
• 2:15
  can't
• 2:15
  have
• 2:15
  confidence
• 2:16
  without
• 2:16
  compassion.
• 2:17
  Let
• 2:17
  me
• 2:18
  say
• 2:18
  that
• 2:18
  again.
• 2:18
  You
• 2:19
  cannot
• 2:19
  have
• 2:20
  confidence
• 2:20
  without
• 2:21
  compassion.
• 2:22
  You
• 2:23
  can't
• 2:23
  keep
• 2:23
  criticizing
• 2:24
  yourself
• 2:24
  into
• 2:24
  clarity.
• 2:25
  You
• 2:25
  can't
• 2:26
  ignore
• 2:26
  your
• 2:26
  feelings
• 2:27
  and
• 2:27
  expect
• 2:27
  to
• 2:27
  feel
• 2:28
  powerful.
• 2:28
  You've
• 2:29
  got
• 2:29
  to
• 2:29
  be
• 2:29
  with
• 2:30
  yourself,
• 2:31
  honestly,
• 2:32
  gently,
• 2:33
  consistently.
• 2:34
  That's
• 2:34
  where
• 2:35
  everything
• 2:35
  starts.
• 2:38
  I
• 2:39
  personally
• 2:40
  love
• 2:40
  alone
• 2:41
  time.
• 2:42
  Not
• 2:42
  because
• 2:42
  I
• 2:42
  don't
• 2:42
  like
• 2:43
  people,
• 2:43
  but
• 2:43
  because
• 2:43
  alone
• 2:44
  tie
• 2:44
  helps
• 2:45
  me
• 2:45
  return
• 2:45
  to
• 2:45
  myself
• 2:46
  when
• 2:47
  I
• 2:47
  am
• 2:47
  by
• 2:47
  myself.
• 2:48
  No
• 2:48
  noise,
• 2:49
  no
• 2:49
  performing,
• 2:50
  no
• 2:50
  notifications.
• 2:52
  I
• 2:52
  can
• 2:52
  hear
• 2:52
  what's
• 2:53
  really
• 2:53
  going
• 2:53
  on
• 2:53
  in
• 2:54
  my
• 2:54
  head
• 2:54
  and
• 2:54
  my
• 2:55
  heart.
• 2:55
  That's
• 2:56
  when
• 2:56
  I
• 2:56
  notice,
• 2:57
  oh,
• 2:57
  I'm
• 2:58
  not
• 2:58
  mad.
• 2:58
  I'm
• 2:58
  actually
• 2:59
  hurt.
• 3:00
  Or
• 3:00
  I
• 3:00
  said
• 3:00
  yes
• 3:01
  to
• 3:01
  that
• 3:01
  out
• 3:01
  of
• 3:01
  guilt,
• 3:02
  not
• 3:02
  desire.
• 3:03
  This
• 3:04
  situation
• 3:04
  doesn't
• 3:05
  reflect
• 3:05
  my
• 3:05
  growth
• 3:06
  anymore.
• 3:07
  That's
• 3:08
  what
• 3:08
  self
• 3:08
  awareness
• 3:09
  gives
• 3:09
  you.
• 3:09
  Clarity.
• 3:11
  And
• 3:11
  clarity
• 3:11
  builds
• 3:12
  confidence.
• 3:14
  It's
• 3:14
  why
• 3:14
  you
• 3:14
  can
• 3:15
  say
• 3:15
  no
• 3:15
  without
• 3:16
  explaining.
• 3:17
  It's
• 3:17
  why
• 3:18
  you
• 3:18
  can
• 3:18
  say
• 3:18
  I
• 3:18
  need
• 3:19
  a
• 3:19
  break
• 3:19
  without
• 3:19
  guilt.
• 3:20
  It's
• 3:21
  why
• 3:21
  you
• 3:21
  can
• 3:21
  walk
• 3:21
  away
• 3:22
  from
• 3:22
  things
• 3:22
  that
• 3:23
  once
• 3:23
  made
• 3:23
  you
• 3:23
  feel
• 3:23
  seen,
• 3:24
  but
• 3:24
  now
• 3:25
  make
• 3:25
  you
• 3:25
  feel
• 3:25
  small.
• 3:26
  And
• 3:26
  when
• 3:27
  you
• 3:27
  practice
• 3:27
  that
• 3:28
  enough,
• 3:28
  you
• 3:29
  start
• 3:29
  building
• 3:29
  a
• 3:30
  deep
• 3:30
  kind
• 3:30
  of
• 3:30
  trust
• 3:31
  with
• 3:31
  yourself.
• 3:32
  Like
• 3:32
  I
• 3:32
  got
• 3:33
  me
• 3:33
  from
• 3:33
  for
• 3:33
  real.
• 3:35
  So
• 3:35
  let's
• 3:35
  make
• 3:36
  this
• 3:36
  practical.
• 3:37
  Here
• 3:37
  are
• 3:37
  a
• 3:37
  few
• 3:38
  self
• 3:38
  check
• 3:38
  questions
• 3:39
  I
• 3:39
  use
• 3:40
  and
• 3:40
  that
• 3:40
  you
• 3:40
  can
• 3:41
  start
• 3:41
  using
• 3:41
  today
• 3:41
  to
• 3:42
  build
• 3:42
  more
• 3:43
  awareness.
• 3:44
  The
• 3:45
  first
• 3:45
  one,
• 3:46
  ask
• 3:46
  yourself,
• 3:47
  how
• 3:47
  am
• 3:48
  I
• 3:48
  really
• 3:48
  feeling
• 3:49
  right
• 3:49
  now?
• 3:51
  Not
• 3:51
  fine.
• 3:52
  Not
• 3:53
  busy.
• 3:54
  Go
• 3:54
  deeper.
• 3:56
  Am
• 3:56
  I
• 3:56
  anxious?
• 3:57
  Am
• 3:58
  I
• 3:58
  resentful?
• 3:59
  Am
• 4:00
  I
• 4:00
  proud?
• 4:02
  The
• 4:02
  second
• 4:02
  one,
• 4:03
  ask
• 4:03
  yourself,
• 4:04
  why
• 4:05
  do
• 4:05
  I
• 4:05
  feel
• 4:05
  this
• 4:06
  way?
• 4:07
  Is
• 4:07
  this
• 4:07
  about
• 4:08
  now?
• 4:09
  Or
• 4:09
  is
• 4:09
  this
• 4:09
  about
• 4:10
  something
• 4:10
  that
• 4:10
  I've
• 4:10
  been
• 4:10
  carrying?
• 4:12
  Then
• 4:13
  follow
• 4:13
  that
• 4:13
  up
• 4:13
  with,
• 4:14
  what
• 4:14
  do
• 4:15
  I
• 4:15
  actually
• 4:15
  need?
• 4:17
  Not
• 4:17
  what's
• 4:17
  expected
• 4:18
  of
• 4:18
  me,
• 4:19
  not
• 4:19
  what's
• 4:19
  easiest,
• 4:20
  but
• 4:20
  what
• 4:21
  do
• 4:21
  I
• 4:21
  need?
• 4:23
  And
• 4:23
  then
• 4:23
  you
• 4:23
  can
• 4:24
  ask
• 4:24
  yourself,
• 4:24
  am
• 4:25
  I
• 4:25
  being
• 4:25
  honest
• 4:25
  with
• 4:26
  myself
• 4:26
  right
• 4:27
  now?
• 4:28
  And
• 4:29
  sometimes
• 4:30
  that
• 4:30
  one
• 4:30
  can
• 4:30
  be
• 4:31
  hard
• 4:31
  because
• 4:31
  it
• 4:31
  cuts
• 4:32
  straight
• 4:32
  to
• 4:32
  the
• 4:32
  truth.
• 4:33
  But
• 4:34
  if
• 4:34
  you
• 4:34
  can't
• 4:34
  be
• 4:35
  real
• 4:35
  with
• 4:35
  yourself,
• 4:37
  who
• 4:37
  are
• 4:37
  you
• 4:38
  going
• 4:38
  to
• 4:38
  be
• 4:38
  real
• 4:38
  with?
• 4:39
  Because
• 4:40
  once
• 4:40
  you
• 4:40
  get
• 4:40
  in
• 4:40
  the
• 4:40
  habit
• 4:41
  of
• 4:41
  asking
• 4:41
  yourself
• 4:42
  these
• 4:42
  questions,
• 4:43
  answering
• 4:44
  them
• 4:44
  without
• 4:45
  judgment,
• 4:46
  you
• 4:46
  stop
• 4:46
  operating
• 4:47
  on
• 4:47
  autopilot.
• 4:48
  You
• 4:48
  stop
• 4:49
  spiraling.
• 4:50
  You
• 4:50
  start
• 4:51
  choosing
• 4:51
  instead
• 4:52
  of
• 4:52
  reacting.
• 4:53
  And
• 4:53
  that
• 4:53
  is
• 4:54
  confidence.
• 4:56
  Now
• 4:56
  let
• 4:56
  me
• 4:57
  leave
• 4:57
  you
• 4:57
  with
• 4:57
  this.
• 4:58
  Confidence
• 4:59
  doesn't
• 4:59
  come
• 5:00
  from
• 5:00
  pretending
• 5:00
  you
• 5:01
  have
• 5:01
  it
• 5:01
  all
• 5:01
  together.
• 5:02
  It
• 5:02
  doesn't.
• 5:03
  It
• 5:03
  comes
• 5:04
  from
• 5:04
  being
• 5:04
  real
• 5:04
  enough
• 5:05
  with
• 5:05
  yourself
• 5:05
  to
• 5:06
  say,
• 5:07
  I
• 5:07
  am
• 5:07
  figuring
• 5:08
  it
• 5:08
  out
• 5:08
  and
• 5:09
  I
• 5:09
  trust
• 5:09
  myself
• 5:10
  to
• 5:10
  do
• 5:10
  it
• 5:10
  with
• 5:10
  love.
• 5:13
  If
• 5:13
  you're
• 5:14
  not
• 5:14
  being
• 5:14
  honest
• 5:14
  with
• 5:15
  yourself,
• 5:15
  you
• 5:15
  will
• 5:16
  end
• 5:16
  up
• 5:16
  chasing
• 5:16
  things
• 5:17
  that
• 5:17
  don't
• 5:17
  even
• 5:18
  fulfill
• 5:18
  you.
• 5:19
  You
• 5:19
  will
• 5:19
  say
• 5:20
  yes
• 5:20
  to
• 5:20
  relationships
• 5:21
  that
• 5:21
  don't
• 5:21
  honor
• 5:22
  you.
• 5:23
  You
• 5:23
  will
• 5:23
  keep
• 5:23
  goals
• 5:24
  that
• 5:24
  don't
• 5:24
  align
• 5:24
  with
• 5:25
  who
• 5:25
  you're
• 5:25
  becoming.
• 5:27
  And
• 5:27
  you'll
• 5:27
  silence
• 5:28
  your
• 5:28
  truth
• 5:28
  to
• 5:28
  stay
• 5:28
  safe
• 5:29
  and
• 5:30
  listen.
• 5:30
  You
• 5:30
  did
• 5:30
  not
• 5:31
  come
• 5:31
  this
• 5:31
  far
• 5:32
  just
• 5:32
  to
• 5:32
  stay
• 5:32
  hidden.
• 5:33
  You
• 5:34
  deserve
• 5:34
  to
• 5:34
  know
• 5:34
  yourself
• 5:35
  deeply.
• 5:36
  You
• 5:36
  deserve
• 5:37
  to
• 5:37
  be
• 5:37
  honest
• 5:38
  about
• 5:38
  what's
• 5:38
  working
• 5:39
  and
• 5:39
  what's
• 5:39
  not.
• 5:40
  And
• 5:40
  you
• 5:41
  deserve
• 5:41
  to
• 5:41
  walk
• 5:42
  into
• 5:42
  rooms
• 5:43
  and
• 5:43
  relationships
• 5:44
  fully
• 5:45
  aware
• 5:45
  of
• 5:45
  your
• 5:45
  power.
• 5:47
  So
• 5:47
  if
• 5:47
  you're
• 5:47
  ready
• 5:48
  to
• 5:48
  practice
• 5:48
  this
• 5:49
  in
• 5:49
  real
• 5:49
  life,
• 5:49
  if
• 5:50
  you
• 5:50
  are
• 5:50
  ready
• 5:50
  to
• 5:51
  stop
• 5:51
  abandoning
• 5:52
  yourself
• 5:52
  for
• 5:52
  the
• 5:52
  sake
• 5:53
  of
• 5:53
  being
• 5:53
  okay
• 5:53
  on
• 5:54
  the
• 5:54
  outside,
• 5:55
  I
• 5:55
  want
• 5:55
  to
• 5:56
  invite
• 5:56
  you
• 5:56
  to
• 5:56
  my
• 5:56
  fiance
• 5:57
  challenge.
• 5:57
  It's
• 5:57
  called
• 5:58
  her
• 5:58
  error.
• 5:59
  The
• 5:59
  Self
• 5:59
  Love
• 6:00
  Reset.
• 6:01
  We
• 6:01
  are
• 6:01
  starting
• 6:01
  February
• 6:02
  23rd,
• 6:02
  and
• 6:03
  every
• 6:03
  day
• 6:04
  I'm
• 6:04
  going
• 6:04
  to
• 6:04
  be
• 6:04
  guiding
• 6:05
  you
• 6:05
  through
• 6:05
  simple,
• 6:06
  powerful
• 6:06
  ways
• 6:07
  to
• 6:07
  return
• 6:08
  to
• 6:08
  yourself,
• 6:09
  to
• 6:09
  rebuild
• 6:10
  self
• 6:10
  worth,
• 6:10
  to
• 6:11
  walk
• 6:11
  away
• 6:11
  from
• 6:12
  what
• 6:12
  is
• 6:12
  draining
• 6:12
  you
• 6:13
  and
• 6:13
  to
• 6:13
  start
• 6:13
  choosing
• 6:14
  yourself
• 6:15
  for
• 6:15
  real
• 6:16
  for
• 6:16
  good.
• 6:18
  Details
• 6:18
  are
• 6:18
  in
• 6:18
  the
• 6:18
  show
• 6:19
  notes,
• 6:19
  but
• 6:19
  until
• 6:19
  then,
• 6:20
  get
• 6:20
  real
• 6:21
  with
• 6:21
  you.
• 6:22
  Check
• 6:22
  in
• 6:22
  with
• 6:23
  you
• 6:23
  and
• 6:24
  don't
• 6:24
  be
• 6:24
  afraid
• 6:24
  of
• 6:24
  what
• 6:25
  you'll
• 6:25
  find.
• 6:25
  Because
• 6:26
  that's
• 6:26
  where
• 6:26
  confidence
• 6:26
  lives.
• 6:27
  You
• 6:28
  are
• 6:28
  ready
• 6:28
  and
• 6:29
  you
• 6:29
  are
• 6:29
  worth
• 6:29
  it.