Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 685: 12 Signs Your Ex Never Care About You

Transcript

Episode 685: 12 Signs Your Ex Never Care About You · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:00
  I debated making this video because I prefer to focus on the
• 0:05
  positive and ignore the negative.
• 0:08
  However, I realized that in some cases the X really didn't care
• 0:13
  and it's better to know sooner rather than later so you can
• 0:17
  start to move on. Hi, this is Lucia with the Art
• 0:20
  of Love. I'm a dating and relationship
• 0:22
  expert specializing in helping you get your X back or to get
• 0:26
  over your X. Have you been a good little
• 0:28
  soldier this week? Well, if you have, then you've
• 0:30
  downloaded my app Silencio, which helps you to stay in no
• 0:34
  contact. And if you too would like to
• 0:36
  join our no contact army, all you have to do is hit the
• 0:39
  subscribe button and the bell notification and you're in.
• 0:44
  And to read our manual, go to nocontactsecrets.com where you
• 0:49
  can read 2 free chapters before you purchase the book.
• 0:52
  And the link to that is underneath every single video
• 0:55
  and podcast. So there are a lot of signs that
• 0:59
  someone doesn't care, but I didn't want this to be a 30
• 1:02
  minute video. So I'm only going to give you
• 1:05
  1212. Should give you a good
• 1:08
  indication as to whether your ex cared or not.
• 1:12
  And these are in no particular order.
• 1:14
  So 1, and this usually happens with women, is that you were
• 1:18
  never or rarely a priority. Women often break up with guys
• 1:23
  because they feel they're not important to them, they're not a
• 1:26
  priority, that everything or everyone else comes before them
• 1:29
  or that they're down on the low down on the list.
• 1:32
  If someone's into you, you're a priority.
• 1:35
  Now obviously if they have children, you're not going to be
• 1:39
  the number one priority, but you will definitely be a priority.
• 1:45
  The second sign is that they always or almost always forgot
• 1:50
  important dates, birth threes, birthdays, anniversaries,
• 1:56
  etcetera. And they even maybe use the
• 2:00
  excuse, oh but birthdays aren't important to me.
• 2:02
  So just because they're not important to you doesn't mean
• 2:05
  they're not important to me. Or if they did remember them,
• 2:09
  they didn't get you anything, which is weird, which I've heard
• 2:12
  of people. They say, oh, I was with this
• 2:14
  person for six years. They never got me a birthday
• 2:16
  present. What?
• 2:18
  Get out of there. Or they got a gift that
• 2:21
  benefited them more than you. There's a lawnmower and
• 2:29
  narcissists, they usually purposely mess up important
• 2:33
  dates. So keep that in mind #3 is they
• 2:40
  never or they rarely apologize? And if anything, they tried to
• 2:45
  turn it on you. They were trying to be
• 2:46
  manipulative and go, Oh yeah, well, you did this and you never
• 2:50
  did. No, if someone is wrong and they
• 2:53
  care about you and they want to have a future with you, they
• 2:56
  will apologize. And if they can't, then you have
• 3:00
  to wonder, do you want to be in a relationship where the person
• 3:02
  refuses to apologize? I don't #4 they didn't respect
• 3:09
  you. As I've always said, you cannot
• 3:11
  have love without respect. And if they didn't respect your
• 3:17
  boundaries, then they didn't respect you.
• 3:19
  If they had no problem violating them, even though you told them
• 3:23
  numerous times they didn't care. That's why you have to have
• 3:27
  consequences like F around and find out, oh, you're going to
• 3:30
  violate this boundary again. OK, here's the consequence.
• 3:34
  But people often they don't want to do anything because they want
• 3:36
  to keep the peace. But then you end up creating a
• 3:38
  little monster who doesn't respect you, and they lose
• 3:43
  attraction for you because you let them walk all over you.
• 3:46
  Especially if you're a guy. You can't let that happen #5
• 3:52
  they're only there for the benefits.
• 3:56
  So they took more than they gave.
• 4:00
  And this could be material things, money even using you for
• 4:05
  your body. I'm remember I had one client,
• 4:08
  poor guy, he didn't even know. Yeah, he got, he was in Canada.
• 4:14
  He got married to a girl in South America.
• 4:17
  And I think they've been married like 2 years.
• 4:19
  She still had not moved to Canada.
• 4:22
  And he was sending her like something like 6 or $7000 every
• 4:27
  month. And I said, I hate to tell you,
• 4:30
  but she's using you. It's like, no, no, she loves me.
• 4:33
  She no, she doesn't. I told him to stop sending money
• 4:38
  and get divorced. I doubt he he listened.
• 4:41
  But yeah, people just don't want to believe that they're being
• 4:46
  used. But sometimes you are number
• 4:50
  six. Your relationship, it just
• 4:53
  seemed like a mistake. You had a feeling that you
• 4:55
  shouldn't even be with this person.
• 4:57
  And you know a lot of people who got married and later divorced,
• 5:01
  they knew it was the wrong person.
• 5:04
  Even on the day of the wedding. Some brides say even as they
• 5:08
  were walking down the aisle, they knew it was wrong and yet
• 5:12
  they still went through it only to end up divorced.
• 5:16
  Don't do it. Don't do it.
• 5:18
  It's better to just be embarrassed to just lose the
• 5:22
  money for the venue and the DJ and the whatever than to have to
• 5:26
  go through through with it, get married just to end of divorce.
• 5:32
  It's it's never worth it #7 So you've always heard me saying
• 5:38
  love inspires, empowers of bliss and enlightens at the end of my
• 5:43
  videos. So if this never applied to your
• 5:47
  relationship, then you have to wonder if they really cared.
• 5:53
  Because these aren't just for verbs.
• 5:58
  Inspire, empower, uplift, and enlightened.
• 6:02
  They actually happen when there's love.
• 6:06
  You are inspired, you are empowered, you are uplifted, you
• 6:09
  are enlightened. And if you're not, then is it
• 6:12
  love? And did they even care?
• 6:16
  Who knows #8 this is going to sound strange but you were
• 6:22
  always ready 1st and on time and they rarely were.
• 6:26
  You know when someone is interested, they are excited to
• 6:29
  see you. They cannot wait.
• 6:31
  I remember I had a long distance relationship once and we met up
• 6:36
  in Memphis because we were going to go to Graceland and I got to
• 6:40
  the hotel 1st. And when he landed, he called me
• 6:46
  and he's like, I'm, I'm getting to the hotel as fast as I can.
• 6:50
  I can't wait to see you. Because he cared because he was
• 6:54
  really interested. You know, it's not like I said
• 6:57
  to him, hey, where are you? Get over here.
• 6:58
  Why are you, what's taking you so long to get from the airport?
• 7:01
  I I was just doing my thing as usual.
• 7:03
  He's the one who contacted me and volunteered.
• 7:06
  I'm trying to get there as fast as I can.
• 7:08
  I'm like, yeah, OK, whatever. Take your time.
• 7:11
  And that means that they do not get dopamine from you.
• 7:16
  Otherwise they would always be the first to be ready and on
• 7:20
  time because they would be excited to see you.
• 7:22
  So if someone doesn't get dopamine from you, then they can
• 7:26
  easily use the excuse of I'm tired because they are tired.
• 7:31
  Because otherwise they know that seeing you would make them not
• 7:36
  tired. But if they're not getting
• 7:38
  dopamine from you, then it's not going to make any difference.
• 7:44
  And so you have to ask yourself again, do they really care #9
• 7:50
  they rarely or ever complimented you.
• 7:54
  So this goes both way. It doesn't matter what the
• 7:56
  gender is. Because even if women don't
• 7:58
  usually pay a lot of compliments because they're used to getting
• 8:01
  complimented and they don't usually think to compliment men,
• 8:04
  although I think a lot of them know that they should.
• 8:08
  People just know and nevermind they know, it's like you want to
• 8:12
  because you think your partner is great, they look great, they
• 8:15
  look sexy, they look beautiful, whatever.
• 8:18
  So you want to say wow, you look great, Wow, you did a good job
• 8:22
  there. Wow, you handled that great.
• 8:25
  You want to uplift them and inspire them, right?
• 8:27
  And so if you don't, if your partner never did that, then
• 8:32
  again, did they really care #10 this is similar to being on
• 8:39
  time. It has something to do with
• 8:40
  time. It's about not having a lot of
• 8:42
  time for you. Again, love is like an
• 8:46
  addiction, it's a drug. You want to see the person as
• 8:50
  much as possible. I have to tell people to slow
• 8:53
  down in the beginning because they want to see each other 3-4
• 8:55
  times a week. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no,
• 8:57
  don't do that once a week, once a week.
• 9:02
  Love never dies of starvation, but it does die of indigestion
• 9:07
  in the beginning. So if someone doesn't make a lot
• 9:11
  of time for you and they're always busy, busy is a bad word.
• 9:15
  You do not want to hear the word busy because someone who's
• 9:18
  interested, they will do what they have to, to see you.
• 9:21
  They will move their schedule around, they will sleep one last
• 9:25
  hour, whatever. And if they don't, then do they
• 9:29
  really care #11 marriage was never discussed, so they either
• 9:37
  ignored the topic if it was brought up, or they got
• 9:41
  uncomfortable when it was brought up.
• 9:45
  That's because they weren't planning to stick around long
• 9:47
  term. So it's like, yeah, we don't
• 9:49
  need to talk about this. Of course, they didn't say it
• 9:51
  like that. Now, it is possible that they
• 9:56
  had an avoidant attachment style, so you do have to take
• 10:00
  that into consideration. We never like talking about
• 10:03
  marriage. It's like marriage.
• 10:04
  What? But if they don't have an avoid
• 10:08
  and attachment style, then it's not an excuse.
• 10:10
  That means that they just are not that into you.
• 10:13
  And then finally #12 they blocked you right after the
• 10:18
  breakup. Now, why is this significant?
• 10:21
  Because the dumper doesn't usually do that.
• 10:23
  Because they do feel some sense of guilt knowing that you didn't
• 10:27
  want the breakup and you're upset and they want to be
• 10:30
  available if you need to talk. So if you weren't blowing up
• 10:35
  their phone and bugging them and they blocked you for no reason,
• 10:39
  then they either already have someone else or they didn't
• 10:44
  care, sorry to say. So obviously the more of these
• 10:48
  signs that you saw then the more likely it is that your ex didn't
• 10:52
  care if it was just one. OK, not necessarily, but still,
• 10:57
  none of these should have been in your relationship.
• 10:59
  So if they were, then you have to ask yourself, do you really
• 11:04
  want to get back to that person with that person, or is it just
• 11:07
  your ego and pride that's hurt right now?
• 11:10
  And also, obviously, you're addicted to them because they
• 11:14
  were in your life and now suddenly they're gone.
• 11:17
  All right, now, I want to hear from you.
• 11:21
  Did you see any of these 12 signs in your relationship and
• 11:27
  which ones? And if you didn't, good for you.
• 11:30
  And if you would like my help to get your ex back, you can
• 11:34
  contact me at theartoflove.net/coaching and we
• 11:38
  will send you the rates. They're not on the website and
• 11:42
  the direct link to that is underneath every video and
• 11:44
  podcast. If you found this video helpful,
• 11:47
  please like, subscribe and share.
• 11:49
  If you're listening to this as a podcast, please rate and review.
• 11:53
  And finally, remember, love inspires, empowers, uplifts and
• 11:57
  enlightens.