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How to Lessen Your Inner Critic’s Voice · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
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  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: Hi there, and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
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  SPEAKER_01: Whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening, thank you for taking some time out of your day to spend here with me.
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  SPEAKER_01: And today we're gonna be turning our attention to the inner critic, which I know we've talked about before, but this time I want to offer a different way to potentially look at the inner critic.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: So oftentimes we know that the inner critic can be extraordinarily harsh and judgmental, and it's the voice that points out how we're flawed or the mistakes that we've made.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: And it's easy to quickly say that that voice is unhelpful and we need to just ignore it.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: Because the truth is, the more we give voice or we give room to listen to that inner critic voice, it does undermine our self-esteem and our self-confidence and starts to undermine our self-acceptance because when we are looking and hearing that inner critic, we're actually negating a part of ourselves.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: And yes, there's truth to that, but I'm gonna offer a slightly different perspective to this today.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: What if we instead of saying, oh, this inner critic is terrible and let's like ignore it and push it away?
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: What if instead we started shifting the relationship we also have with the inner critic, shifting how we see the inner critic, recognizing what the intention might be behind the inner critic?
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  SPEAKER_01: Not that we're taking on the judgment, right?
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: But what's the deeper intention?
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: Because when we think about the inner critic, it's not actually showing up to be harmful.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: While it may be harmful in its message, it's actually showing up with some protective mechanism.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like usually, if we get really curious with them, we say, look, what's the what's the intention behind this inner critic beating me up over this?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's usually because there's some deeper desire to be accepted or to belong or to um be worthy or show that you're enough.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's intention there is to somehow try to protect you.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: Now, it's a misguided way to protect you, right?
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's not actually helpful to put yourself down and to be so judgmental of oneself because what it does is it's actually reinforcing those deeper fears about oneself or the deeper sense of self-doubt.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: But when we think about the inner critic, it's often popping up because it is highlighting a value that we might have.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: So, for example, if the inner critic is popping up about a mistake that you made at work, it while it's being harsh and mean, it's actually possibly pointing out that you do have a true value of excellence and or integrity andor responsibility, perhaps.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so if we can take that understanding and recognize, oh my gosh, this voice is actually just pointing out how much how important integrity is to me, or how important responsibility is to me, and we actually pay attention to that instead of the judgment, right?
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: So the the voice is coming up with judgment, but if we go deeper and we say, okay, what's really underneath this, now we're able to take away the message that that inner critic is bringing us, which is the value that we have, and release the judgy part, right?
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: Release and just say, Okay, you know, what you just that harsh part, I don't need to take anything from that.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: The part that's saying that I'm bad or incompetent, like that does me no good.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: But what this voice is saying is that wow, you uh you really do have a value of responsibility.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so now that we have this, now that we understand that this is just a highlight of the value of responsibility, if I want to take a values-based action, what could I potentially do now?
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: So that way we're actually building a totally different relationship with our inner critic.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: We're not focusing so much on pushing it away, but rather just recognizing that we can take the the highlight of what's important to us and what's meaningful for us, like from underneath that that inner critic voice, and we can release the negativity, but we can take what's what would be helpful to move us forward.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: So we build this type of a relationship with our inner critic and we understand that it's it's intention, and we we take the the value out of it, meaning the it's uh the highlight that it's it's about that value that it is highlighting for us, that can give us an action for us to move forward with.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: We're actually we're actually performing self-acceptance because really self-acceptance says I accept all parts of myself.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: So even when that part that's the inner critic part shows up, I'm gonna accept that it's here as well.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna put it down or say it needs to go away because it's showing up.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: So can I take what I need from it and release the stuff that doesn't serve me?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: And in this process, you know, bringing in self-compassion and kindness is really important, bringing in curiosity.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: What's really going on here?
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: You know, without that judgment and just giving space for understanding.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because really what ends up happening is we have an inner critic and we're pushing it away because we're judging the inner critic.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like judgment upon judgment if we really break it down.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: Just paying attention to how we can reshape the relationship we have with the inner critic can actually give us the ability to grow on different levels because we're no longer completely rejecting a part of ourselves, but we're saying, okay, this part's showing up.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: What do I need to understand about this part?
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  SPEAKER_01: What can I take from it?
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: And how can I grow through it?
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: That builds self-acceptance, that will then lead to self-leadership, and it'll lead to the ability to move through even the most judgmental voices that pop up in our heads.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: If you'd like to talk about this or anything else that could be potentially holding you back that you feel like coaching might be a fit for, feel free to book a time with me anytime at coachwithcomedy.com.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: And until next time, stay well.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com or visit our website at www dot comedywood.com.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Username it's authentic me.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.