Latest / Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage / Time to Kill

Transcript

Time to Kill · Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage

0:01
Oh, God. Oh, my God. Cheers, yeah. Enjoy some
0:24
buzz ball. Cheers, Sean. Salud. I mean, it kind
0:32
of just tastes like a white Russian. It's not
0:35
terrible, actually. It pretty much is a white
0:36
Russian. Yeah. Except it's orange wine. Wow.
0:40
It's a very weird concept as a base for a beverage.
0:44
For a chocolate drink. For a chocolate drink.
0:46
Here's your orange wine base. Your 15 % alcohol
0:49
chocolate milk. What is happening over there?
0:53
Well, OK, so a couple of recordings ago, a couple,
0:57
like quite a few recordings ago, Nick, for some
0:59
reason, brought. buzz balls which i'm sure you
1:01
have seen in like the gas station yes oh you
1:04
can get them on the airplanes too oh really yeah
1:07
get those on an airplane that's a hundred are
1:09
you flying spirit you can get them on spirit
1:13
you can get them on frontier you can get them
1:15
on allegiance you can get them on all the low
1:16
-cost carriers yeah nice um so then when i was
1:21
in leavenworth i was wandering around and i said
1:24
nick a picture i was like well next time we've
1:26
got to up our game a little bit and it was What
1:29
he's about to show you, a buzzball biggie. It's
1:35
one and a half liters. This podcast is going
1:42
to devolve real quickly. Well, it depends if
1:45
we drink all three of those buzzball biggies.
1:49
I may be leaving my car on the side of the road
1:50
and you're bringing it home. That would imply
1:53
this podcast has ever evolved into anything.
1:57
Yeah, that's true. We've never really been on
1:58
the rules. I mean, it evolved into something
1:59
that lasted as long as it has, so it involved
2:02
in something. Yeah. I mean, that's just sheer
2:05
stick -to -itiveness. And Peter not letting us
2:08
skip a week. You mean stubbornness. Stubbornness
2:11
is the correct word, Sean. I like stick -to -itiveness.
2:14
Hey, who's a podcast host here? Yeah, Michael.
2:19
We get to make up the words. You're in our realm
2:21
now, bitch. Fine. Yeah. Considering you've never
2:26
listened to an episode of our podcast, you have
2:28
no idea what you're in for. I've listened to
2:29
five. Hey, all right. Really? When did that happen?
2:32
The first five. Oh, you picked Portland. And
2:34
then I realized, no, I don't really need to hear
2:36
Sean and Nick talk about Nick Cage anymore. I
2:39
listen to Sean and Nick at the bar almost every
2:41
day. So, you know. Yeah, but you don't get your
2:45
fill of me now, now that I'm in Portland. I know.
2:48
So maybe I'll go back and listen to them. I recommend
2:51
going backwards now. Start from the beginning.
2:53
No, no, no. Start from the end and go backwards.
2:56
I will promise you one thing. Except for the
2:57
podcast episode. That one's weird to do reverse.
2:59
I will promise you one thing. I will not listen
3:02
to this episode that we're recording now. That's
3:04
fair. Because I hate listening to myself, whether
3:07
it's in an interview or anything. Join the long
3:12
list of other people who hate listening to you.
3:14
Yeah, I know you're on it. Yeah, you're really
3:18
only here for one reason. Yeah, just because
3:23
you made me watch that god -awful film. No, to
3:25
answer for the Italians. Yeah. Oh, I get it.
3:29
This is a racist heritage thing. It is, in fact,
3:33
actually. Because we've decided long ago that
3:35
Italians are not people. My nonna will come after
3:40
you. I don't need to go after Uncle Sal here.
3:43
We have a strong stance in this podcast about
3:45
this. I don't even remember why it started, but
3:49
we really dug into it. Captain Crowley's Mandolin,
3:53
I think. It was Captain Crowley. That tracks.
3:56
The other war movie. That tracks. He at least
3:59
did an accent in that one. This one was really
4:01
not even an attempt. No. oh i mean he was like
4:04
25 when he did that movie this movie i mean yeah
4:06
but he's done accent work at this point i mean
4:08
well at 25 really well so i mean previously he
4:12
had done an accent it's a very like weird new
4:15
yorker kind of accent for um vampire's kiss but
4:17
he he's doing a voice certainly it's like he
4:20
can commit he just didn't commit to being poorly
4:23
Italian. I don't think anybody ever, like, asked
4:26
him to do a voice for this one, though. Why did
4:28
he get into this movie? I don't know. This is
4:31
a very strange one. I mean, I gotta surmise that
4:34
he must have been dating some Italian chick who
4:36
knew the director and wanted to impress her.
4:37
Maybe. There's very little facts out there. Sean,
4:39
what were you gonna say? I would assume, to Nick's
4:41
point about no one having asked him to do an
4:43
accent, I assume someone asked him not to, because
4:45
I think his go -to response would be an accent.
4:50
He does love his accent work. Yeah, maybe Boston
4:53
Cop just really didn't play. That's probably
4:57
it. Welcome back to Cage Match, calling a roundabout
4:59
way of meeting Nicholas Cage. I'm your host,
5:01
Sean, with my co -host, Nick, and our producer,
5:05
Peter. Hello. And our friend, Michael. Hello.
5:11
Welcome aboard, Michael. Thank you. You arguably
5:14
have more on -mic experience than us. No, we
5:18
probably have more. We got hours on this shit.
5:20
Yeah, you guys probably have more than I do.
5:22
We got days worth of content. We got days worth
5:24
of our voices. Except I have TV experience where
5:26
you don't. That's true. But that's because we're
5:28
heinously ugly. And that's because I do politics.
5:31
It's only because Pornhub wouldn't let me put
5:35
up a sponsorship thing with them. Thank God.
5:38
It was going to be a great deal. I'm sure. We
5:42
should have done it like when South Park had
5:44
Saddam Hussein. you know it's just the head with
5:48
a little flappy jaw it's just our faces doing
5:50
that the whole time like just do a jib jab yeah
5:52
yeah yeah exactly but like a porny jib jab of
5:55
course yeah this makes sense to me that makes
5:58
our p episode a lot weirder no way guy so uh
6:07
nick what do we do on this podcast uh we mostly
6:10
talk over each other uh tell p jokes and Make
6:17
fun of Hayden. Yep. Yeah, that pretty much sums
6:20
it up. Yeah, I just left Hayden over at the bar
6:22
and he told me, yeah, they're going to talk about
6:24
piss for the first five minutes like they did
6:25
with me. I mean, we can. You guys want to do
6:27
piss talk? Here we are. Just wait till you get
6:30
older and it slows down. Oh, man. I think this
6:33
movie only brings up poop talk. That's true.
6:37
It does. It does. Yeah. That one guy, he's real
6:39
regular at 1530. 1530 every day. I'm about to
6:44
shit my pants. Yeah. I just started the new episodes
6:47
of King of the Hill. Hat tip to Sean for reminding
6:50
me that that was coming out. And it starts off
6:52
with Hank Hill struggling to piss in an airport
6:54
in an airplane bathroom. No, no, it's real. When
6:58
you're when you're taller than six foot, you
7:00
know, getting in those airplane bathrooms and
7:01
yeah. it's it's it's a real problem plus he has
7:05
a narrow you know do like this and how many times
7:08
a night are you up to pee at this point michael
7:10
it depends on how much beer i've drank in that
7:12
day so so if i if i haven't drank a lot of beer
7:15
it's one if i have drank a lot of beer it's two
7:18
to three yeah what about buzzball biggies yeah
7:21
i don't know we'll find out you tell us tomorrow
7:24
we've got three of them here are we gonna get
7:26
through each of all of them god no wait you don't
7:29
each have your own Those have to be future investments.
7:33
Yeah, we're passing that down the line to future
7:36
guests. I was really enjoying the joke because
7:38
I loaded them onto the counter and then the guy
7:40
started ringing them up and I was like, oh no,
7:43
I made a mistake. But I can't back out now. God,
7:48
this thing's delicious. I mean, that's why I
7:50
had to pick the choco because, you know, the
7:52
lime marina was going to be boring. That's true.
7:55
I mean, the berry one or this one made the most
7:56
sense. So I feel pleased. Berries that are, you
8:00
know. bright blue somehow okay blueberries blueberries
8:04
yeah but they're like more purple than that color
8:07
yeah yeah they're red on the inside very natural
8:10
color don't worry about it also blue is blue
8:12
is a flavor just oh yeah blue is definitely a
8:15
flavor but this usually raspberry this blue is
8:18
cherry berry lemonade which doesn't make any
8:22
sense oh man okay so a time to kill 1989 or sorry
8:28
not a time to kill 1989 time to kill 1989 right
8:33
big difference one has matthew mcconaughey a
8:35
real actor yeah hey nicholas cage is a real actor
8:38
he just gets paid for acting yeah yeah this was
8:41
a little rough rough around the edges but michael
8:43
why don't you uh walk us through what the fuck
8:45
this movie is yeah give john a synopsis yeah
8:48
john john called us out he's correct but uh what
8:52
did john call you out on not giving synopses
8:53
yeah okay well fair enough So, I mean, I wrote
8:58
down the description that was in Amazon Prime,
9:01
which is, you know, the streaming service that
9:03
I watched it in. Not an advertisement yet. No,
9:08
no, no. I wish it was. I wish you guys got paid
9:10
to do this stuff. That'd be sweet. That makes
9:12
four of us. So, the description according to
9:17
Amazon Prime. In 1935, when Ethiopia was invaded
9:22
by the Italian army, Lieutenant Silvestri, played
9:25
by Nicolas Cage, sets off for the nearest camp
9:28
hospital to take care of a toothache. En route,
9:31
he meets a young Ethiopian woman, which leads
9:34
to a tragic course of events that devastates
9:37
his entire life. So that's their description
9:41
of what of her life. And I really like that description
9:45
for this film because. It gives you just like
9:48
a couple of key things like. The Italians suck.
9:52
This guy's got a toothache and something is going
9:56
to change the course of this film. Yeah, it's
9:59
like leaves a lot open. And it drew me into that.
10:02
So go ahead. And so he goes, he has this toothache.
10:06
He goes to this other Italian army post where
10:11
they're building a bridge, trying to find the
10:13
doctor. This other guy says, oh, you've got to
10:16
go to the main camp. And here's the quick way.
10:18
Don't take the road. He goes the quick way. He
10:21
shows up at this little waterfall lake and there's
10:24
this beautiful Ethiopian naked girl in it. So
10:28
what does he do? I would stress girl. yeah yeah
10:31
yeah definitely definitely not um yeah so that's
10:34
another strike against the italians okay yeah
10:37
well i mean the italians didn't exactly wrap
10:39
themselves in glory in the 1930s so you know
10:42
we can wrap himself in anything in this movie
10:44
well i mean the girl tries to wrap herself up
10:50
but we'll discuss that in a second um and so
10:53
he you know the girl gets out of the lake and
10:56
she's butt naked and you know he then goes and
11:00
decides oh well she's cute i'm gonna rape her
11:02
15 minutes in the movie in a rape scene i'm like
11:06
do i just turn it off now no i've gotta commit
11:10
i've gotta watch this whole thing now you could
11:12
have come in here and done the power play of
11:14
like You stopped at that 15 minute mark and then
11:17
you just make up the rest of the story. And we're
11:19
all like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could have.
11:22
And that thought did cross my mind. And I decided,
11:26
no, I'd stick with the bit to see where this
11:28
was going. And so then within 10 minutes, a rare
11:32
bit of integrity from an Italian. Hey, you know,
11:35
I'm half Irish. The Italian's only a quarter.
11:37
That's not making it better. I just proved you're
11:41
willing to drink a buzzball. I won't tell you
11:46
my other quarter is because that goes with the
11:47
Italian. It's German. But, you know, boy, three
11:50
drunk, stubborn, stupid. Yeah, whatever. So then
11:55
10 minutes later, he kills her. I mean, it was
11:59
accidental, but we'll get back to that. We'll
12:01
get back to that. I don't know that it was. Well,
12:05
I mean, we'll talk about that part, too. We can
12:07
talk about the inferences the movie makes in
12:09
there, but he does kill her. So we've got a rapist,
12:11
a murderer, and, you know, I mean, great way
12:13
to first 20 minutes of a movie. And so there's
12:16
really, you know, all these little scenes of
12:18
this major and that lieutenant and this person
12:21
who all could have reported him at any point.
12:25
And it would have fucked up his shore leave.
12:27
It would have fucked up his shore leave to get
12:29
back to Italy to go see his wife. Mm hmm. So
12:33
he rapes a girl even though he's married. It's
12:36
Italian. It's romantic right now. Have fun editing
12:48
this one, Peter. Yeah, it's a doozy already.
12:51
And he ends up on the boat to go back to Italy
12:55
with the entire Italian troops because they've,
12:57
quote, won the war and no one gave a crap about
13:03
what he did to the native girl because you know
13:07
that's how colonizers work yeah pretty much so
13:11
there's your synopsis john at one point he thinks
13:13
he has leprosy Yeah, I mean, so I rewrote the
13:17
description for Amazon in case anyone's interested.
13:19
I do want to hear your rewrite. Okay, so the
13:21
rewrite, you know, it starts out the same. In
13:23
1935, when Ethiopia is being invaded by the Italian
13:26
army, Lieutenant Silvestri rapes and murders
13:29
an Ethiopian child and tries to cover it up from
13:31
his superiors. What ensues is a series of encounters
13:34
with army officers that could report him, but
13:37
don't. And Lieutenant Silvestri departs for Italy
13:39
with no repercussions as colonizers don't care
13:42
about the rape and murder. indigenous women nice
13:45
do you think they're gonna accept a better description
13:47
no i don't because no one would watch that movie
13:50
well facts aren't very interesting you did leave
13:53
out possibly the best scene in the film oh the
13:57
major in his poop well no uh i know it's overshadowed
14:01
by the whole uh lake rape when he's walking along
14:05
and he sees that chameleon and he's like this
14:09
is also my favorite quote And he just looks and
14:12
he's like, smoke, smoke, picks up the chameleon
14:15
and just puts a cigarette in its mouth and lets
14:17
it go. So one of the only notes I saw about this
14:21
movie is that in the UK they cut. 17 seconds
14:24
out of this movie and it was that scene yeah
14:27
nothing else no objections anywhere just that
14:32
we're not fucking around with a cigarette in
14:34
a lizard's mouth i think they actually have pretty
14:36
strong like laws against like animals smoking
14:39
they do i mean i mean pita pita started in the
14:43
uk oh okay the way that chameleon just held it
14:46
just a big ass rolly It's like that thing had
14:50
to have died so quickly after that. It's a chameleon.
14:54
It was going to die anyways. It was Africa. I
14:57
mean, come on. We all knew that cigarette wasn't
14:59
lit. There was no smoke coming off. It was a
15:01
prop. I mean, you know, but yeah, it was funny.
15:04
I agree. I appreciate it. What a weird thing
15:08
to do, though. You just encounter natural wildlife
15:10
and you're like, I'm going to put a smoke in
15:12
your mouth. To be fair, in the 30s without like
15:14
YouTube, I would probably be playing cigarettes
15:18
and animals. mouth check it out bird with a cigarette
15:21
to be fair as someone old enough not to remember
15:23
days with internet you know we did discuss living
15:26
in london putting you know alka seltzer in the
15:29
bird feed for the pigeons in trawler square so
15:32
yeah i can't say that i ever actually did that
15:35
i also can't say i never did that so you know
15:38
fair enough They can't they can't hear your wink
15:41
on our audio podcast. Yeah, you know, and if
15:44
a bird eats Alka -Seltzer, you know, birds can't
15:48
burp. Yeah, it just builds up in their stomach.
15:51
Oh, we knew this in Oregon, too. Yeah, we had
15:54
seagulls. They suck. Birds in general suck. Yeah,
15:58
fuck you, Pete. Yeah, I feel it on birds as well
16:01
now. So this movie is kind of split up into two
16:04
different narrative chunks. There's. The friend
16:08
of Mario. Yeah. Who is recounting this tale of
16:13
what happened. And he's just a narrator at this,
16:16
like in the beginning and at the end, he kind
16:18
of bookends the film with like, hey, this is
16:20
a story from the war as it was like told to me,
16:25
basically. Then it goes into Nicolas Cage's story
16:30
as it was told to Mario. And this is all dramatized
16:35
in color. And then, you know, his book ended
16:39
at the end with Mario again being like, and,
16:42
you know, that's how things went down. And I
16:45
never saw him again. Real. What's that movie?
16:50
Banger of an ending. The one with the kids and
16:54
the train. Goonies? No. Goonies doesn't have
16:58
a train. That's a boat. Say anything? It's got
17:01
Will Wheaton in it. It does have Wil Wheaton
17:03
in it. It does. Yeah. Stand by me. Stand by me.
17:06
Yeah, I was close. I didn't ask at the beginning.
17:09
You were close. Yeah. Doesn't matter. It doesn't
17:11
have Nick Cage. So it's got like a real stand
17:14
by me thing going with the whole like, oh, and
17:17
then they fade into the history. So like with
17:20
the story that Nicolas Cage's character Enrico
17:23
tells, it's like, oh, he goes off and. you know
17:27
as the toothache so he has to leave six hours
17:30
before the convoy that was going to take them
17:32
so which i can sympathize with toothache suck
17:35
and oh boy when he finally gets to that camp
17:39
and they pull that tooth out it's just like some
17:42
forceps that have been in heated yeah just sitting
17:45
there in a flame and it's like i don't I don't
17:48
envy you. Open up. Is this going to hurt? Yeah.
17:51
Yes. We did get a good Nicolas Cage scream out
17:54
of that. It was good. It's true. Amazingly short
17:56
and weird cuts in this movie, too. Like directorially,
17:58
it's very strange. Yeah. That scream. And then
18:01
it's just immediately cut off and it's just talking
18:03
next. It's it's very 80s Italian Europeans style.
18:09
Yeah. Really mashed. The filming felt very European
18:12
in it. Yeah. So like he leaves to go find this
18:16
doctor. Goes to a construction like his truck
18:19
crashes, goes to a construction site. And some
18:22
dude who's hella sketchy is like, oh, yeah, don't
18:25
walk along the road. Go into the bush. And what
18:28
does he do with that guy? He puts a cigarette
18:30
in his mouth. Yeah, it's true. He gives him a
18:32
cigarette. So we have an established like a series
18:38
of actions where he puts cigarettes and things.
18:40
It's good for him. It's when he stops doing that,
18:43
that everything goes wrong. That's true. Well,
18:45
you know, rations, you only get so many cigarettes.
18:48
I don't know. I don't think there was a scene
18:50
that went by where he wasn't smoking. Yeah. Right,
18:53
because he rationed for himself. Yes. That chameleon
18:57
got the last good one. Last freebie. I mean,
19:00
you know. Yeah. Okay, well. Gotta treat the animals
19:03
nice when you treat yourself. So, like, yeah,
19:06
all of this is just how he presents it. He is
19:10
an unreliable narrator, right? He makes himself
19:13
out to be sort of not heroic, but not like a
19:18
super bad guy. Right. Even though he has committed
19:20
horrible crimes, he's sort of like, ah, shit
19:23
just happens. Right. I'm Italian. You know, here
19:27
it is. And oh, what was me? Yeah. And in like.
19:33
He definitely shot that girl. Right. But was
19:39
it truly the ricochet because he was shooting
19:41
at hyenas? Yeah. Ostensibly. In his retelling
19:44
of it, he's shooting at a hyena or a jackal or
19:47
whatever to like scare it away. And a ricochet
19:50
bounces back and hits the girl. Right. In the
19:53
stomach. In the stomach. But then later. And
19:55
ostensibly he says. Well, yeah. Yeah. We find
19:59
out later. But his original story was, oh, and
20:01
then she died. And then I came back to camp.
20:04
Right. Because he asked his buddy, you know,
20:06
how can you can you survive a gut shot? How long?
20:09
How long can you survive a gut shot? You know,
20:11
like, I mean, also in his retelling, he's honest
20:15
about the rape. And then the immediate next scene
20:18
is her all like, let me hold your hand. Yeah,
20:20
I love you. Yeah. Being very daddy's. Yes, it's
20:26
it's just all types of just uncomfortable. And
20:29
I think having lived through the 80s. That movie
20:35
probably would have played a little better and
20:37
that scene would have probably played a little
20:38
better than how we look at it in a modern time
20:41
construct. Yeah, Revenge of the Nerds was a thing,
20:44
right? Yeah, right. I mean, this one, but this
20:47
one was just way more overt than you saw in other
20:52
80s movies. Yeah, this one had a visible no.
20:54
I'm going to rape you. And there was a visible
20:56
no. In Revenge of the Nerds, there was trickery
20:59
involved. Correct. Right. yeah and in porkies
21:03
they call it a tallywhacker yeah so that's a
21:07
that's a lost word you know this one was just
21:11
way more overt which yeah coming out of the italians
21:14
doesn't strike me as uh you know unusual also
21:16
i was just re -watching the beginning of this
21:19
film before we got on and yeah i we have the
21:22
thing with the woman at the lake and then he
21:25
says that he sees what he believes to be her
21:28
family and some type of procession come through.
21:31
And then it cuts back to the present. Well, the
21:34
present as it's being told from where he's telling
21:37
it, then the bridge site has been destroyed,
21:41
attacked by, by, you know, the, the Ethiopians
21:47
who the Italians are trying to colonize. Right.
21:49
Yeah. And then they go through and while they're
21:53
like, Trying to hunt down the attackers, they
21:56
find the bodies of all the people in that procession
21:59
for the most part. and her town well and the
22:02
thing that i think was was missed was and wasn't
22:06
very well narrated in the movie was there was
22:08
the bit where they were talking about oh this
22:10
special division of italian troops were coming
22:13
to the campsite but we better get there first
22:16
and it's very clear that quote special division
22:19
would have been the italian version of the ss
22:22
and that the all the dead villagers were reprisals
22:25
for the attack on the bridge construction site
22:29
That was something that wasn't very clear, but
22:31
I understood from, you know, watching way too
22:36
many war movies in my childhood. Being Italian,
22:38
you just knew. No, it's the war movies. You know,
22:43
you watch a lot of war movies when you were in
22:45
the 80s. Because, Sean, were you thinking that
22:49
he did those murders? I was I mean, that was
22:52
kind of like an open question I had was like,
22:54
did he kill those people like those people as
22:57
well? I was curious about it, too, because it
22:59
was very specifically like I'm looking at that
23:01
face and now they're dead. I'm looking at that
23:03
face and now they're dead. Yeah. No, I mean,
23:06
it definitely played that way. But later in the
23:08
movie, they they someone says, well, if you didn't
23:12
kill her, she'd be dead now because of the reprisals.
23:14
There was that line later in the movie. i will
23:18
admit uh i had a really hard time i started this
23:21
movie last night and i was just like nope can't
23:23
do this so i watched it this morning but i watched
23:26
it in two halves so i picked up where the movie
23:29
kind of shifts into like more of a like screwball
23:32
like i'm leaving the military kind of story part
23:35
of what i liked about that piece of the arc was
23:39
that he did seem to be going crazy Which did
23:42
make me think about Vampire's Kiss. He thought
23:45
he had leprosy. Because he was feverish because
23:48
he didn't have leprosy. His cut that he got when
23:51
he fell over and cut his hand on a rock was infected.
23:54
But, you know, they didn't know these things
23:57
in the 30s. And he had that doctor's book that
24:00
said probably leprosy. I hate to say it, penicillin
24:03
was invented in 28. Yeah, they knew it. Did the
24:07
Italians have it? Yeah. Oh, the Italians were
24:09
the first to get penicillin. Yeah, they're a
24:12
bunch of whiny little bitches. Of course they
24:13
got penicillin. Oh, I was going to say rapists.
24:16
Well, that too, but you know. Got to clean up
24:20
after. Clean up. I do like of all the people
24:23
who he thought was like, of all the reprisal
24:26
for like him thinking that people were coming
24:28
after him the whole time, there's no repercussions
24:30
for him trying to kill the doctor. Yeah, that
24:33
was weird, but he did give a fake name. So he
24:36
gave a fake name and ran away. Yeah. Well, let's
24:41
talk about the the leprosy of it all. He's got
24:44
this cut and it's, you know, kind of infected
24:46
and it looks real fucking shitty. It's on his
24:48
hand. And when he's tooling around with the black
24:53
market guy, the guy who runs the black market,
24:56
Mario and then the major. Yeah, the major. Yeah.
25:00
Yeah. Major, major. They swing by and like. uh
25:04
mario goes to try to hit on a couple ladies and
25:07
uh what you see from the back is like them showing
25:10
mario their hand or whatever and mario's like
25:13
and runs away it's like oh those the major is
25:17
just like ha ha those girls all have leprosy
25:19
and you can tell because they all wear white
25:21
turbans all the white turban girls have leprosy
25:24
so enrico flashback yeah enrico is just like
25:28
oh my god that girl i handled the blood of and
25:31
killed uh she totally had a white turban so now
25:36
he's convinced that he has leprosy and that's
25:39
where like the whole movie is kind of hinged
25:42
on this thought like that's the whole uh like
25:46
mystery of it all at this point which i think
25:49
could be a really effective movie but they didn't
25:51
do a great job with it right and i i liked that
25:54
because it kind of had the same sort of tie and
25:57
feel as like Vampire's Kiss. Like Vampire's Kiss
26:01
is just a more polished version of like, do I
26:04
have this affliction? But it held my interest
26:09
and it was definitely something I liked about
26:11
it. I was going to say this is like it's kind
26:15
of a different movie at this point. Yeah, it
26:18
is. The weird narrative like disjointedness of
26:21
this film did not work for me at all. Well, we're
26:24
not that far into the film when we get to the
26:26
leprosy question. We were halfway. We're halfway
26:30
through the film. Halfway or more. Yeah. So there's
26:32
still like an hour. Movies, Michael, I know.
26:34
This movie was an hour and 35 minutes. I looked
26:37
because I had to record how much time I wasted
26:39
on it. Yeah. No, we're like a solid like 45 into
26:43
the movie when that starts. Yeah. Yeah. At least.
26:47
But that's not like changing the movie. It's
26:50
just the way the story progresses. The the leprosy
26:55
was always going to be the major conflict for
26:59
Enrico, because if it wasn't there, well, he
27:02
would have just gotten on the boat and left for
27:04
his furlough. Yeah, nothing was holding him back.
27:08
So it was just a way of introducing everything
27:10
up to this is the issue. I mean, if it wasn't
27:15
if it wasn't for him thinking he had leprosy,
27:17
he would never ended up back at the village with
27:19
the father of the woman he raped and killed.
27:23
curing his infected wound. And, you know, then
27:28
him basically admitting to the father of this
27:31
girl that he raped and killed her, which was
27:34
weird. Yeah, precisely. If he never questioned
27:37
having leprosy, he would have just gone to the
27:40
camp doctor, gotten some cream on his hand and
27:44
gotten on his boat and left for Italy. Yep. So
27:47
the leprosy is the important part. And the story
27:52
with the girl is just how it gets connected into
27:57
the story. I think how I would have fixed this
28:00
movie in my mind is that all of this stuff that
28:03
he's doing after he's killed her is this like
28:05
self inflection sort of like I'm trying to make
28:09
atonement for what I've done. Like go and meet
28:11
that guy in the village, but have a language
28:13
barrier. And he's just like admitting all these
28:15
things to that guy. And the guy's like, I mean,
28:17
sure, whatever. I'm going to help you. But. You
28:19
know, it's not like literally her dad. Yeah,
28:22
it never felt super important that Johan was.
28:26
Johannes. Johannes was Miriam's. Actual dad.
28:32
Dad, yeah. The implication was there. Sure, but
28:35
like the odds of all of that are all insane.
28:38
And, you know, I mean, it's just like that. That's
28:41
the part that felt trite to me, where like if
28:43
it was really about him trying to like clear
28:45
his soul, that could be interesting because then
28:48
it's just him like. On a different pathway versus
28:50
like a forgiveness arc from the literal dad.
28:54
I don't even think like that's not something
28:56
he was actively seeking at that point either,
28:59
because he didn't go to Italy because he didn't
29:03
want to be caught because he thought he was being
29:04
like chased. He thought he had leprosy and they
29:06
wouldn't let him back in. Yeah, if that's why
29:09
he was running into a leper colony. If he had
29:11
leprosy, they would have just shot him or sent
29:13
him into a leper colony like he had no future.
29:17
in italy yeah yeah if anybody knew about what
29:20
was going on with his hand but the whole thing
29:22
with the major when he catches up with him later
29:23
he robs the major because he's trying to drive
29:25
his way onto a ship yeah to get back to italy
29:28
to his wife where his wife can take care of him
29:30
and no one will find out he has leprosy exactly
29:32
but like the whole thing with him like looking
29:34
for atonement from the father that's like that's
29:37
never part of his like the journey he himself
29:40
is on it just happens Right. That's what I think
29:43
is sucky about it. Yeah. And this could also
29:46
go back to just the, this is how he told the
29:49
story to Mario was, Oh, I went through this whole
29:52
journey and you know, through this, I got, you
29:56
know, forgiveness from the father. So like no
30:00
harm, no foul. And like, Oh, I don't have leprosy.
30:04
So cool. Don't worry about it. Like, like this
30:07
is all like him saying like, Oh, you know, everything's
30:10
good. In reality, he would have gotten on that
30:13
ship anyway, even if they knew that he raped
30:15
and murdered this native woman, Ethiopian woman,
30:17
because, you know, colonizers don't give a fuck
30:20
if you rape and murder indigenous women. Literally,
30:22
like in the beginning, when he tells Mario, Mario's
30:25
like, well, it doesn't seem like anything we
30:27
need to tell anybody. It'll just delay your furlough.
30:30
Right. Exactly. Yeah. You'll just go through
30:32
these proceedings and they'll be like, eh, no
30:33
harm, no foul. Yeah. It just keeps you on, keeps
30:36
you on land for one more boat's length. So. That
30:41
was never a concern. Even his whole redemption
30:43
arc, even in the end, he's like, I don't even
30:45
like who knows if any of that stuff was real.
30:47
Yeah, exactly. Right. Because this is Mario telling
30:52
us what this kind of shady dickhead did and what
30:57
this shady dickhead told him. Told him he did.
31:00
Yeah. This is the accounting of a terrible person.
31:06
I just don't think this movie is made well enough
31:09
to give it that much credit. Thousand percent
31:12
agree. I would disagree. I think this movie's
31:16
got a lot to it, and there's some pretty good
31:20
legs to how it's built. It's just a little unrefined.
31:26
Like, it could have been polished. I think there's
31:29
a good story to it. You know, I don't have to
31:31
like the content. But is it a story that we really
31:34
need to hear? No. Well, we can't pretend like
31:37
things don't happen just because we don't like
31:40
them. But do you really need that? And it's like
31:45
one thing like leaving in his other movie, Leaving
31:48
Las Vegas, where there's a rape scene. That was
31:52
much, much more of a of a important. plot piece
31:59
and it wasn't contrived and it wasn't whereas
32:02
this just felt like oh we're gonna rape this
32:04
woman because we can yeah it didn't have to be
32:08
rape yeah because you could take the the sexual
32:11
element out of all of it and it could be that
32:13
he found like solace with this woman in the woods
32:17
when he's lost and she helps him she gives him
32:19
some food but like they could have had moments
32:21
that were non sexual in any way you know and
32:25
he gives her the watch and all that kind of stuff
32:27
it all could still work the same way without
32:29
that and they just chose that angle and it feels
32:33
very weird yeah it could have done a love it
32:36
for a sight thing but no they chose even take
32:38
love out of it you could still have the accidental
32:40
situation quote unquote of shooting her you know
32:43
with the ricochet if there was just like oh well
32:45
it's too late to go back to the camp right now
32:47
we don't want to be stuck in the woods in the
32:49
dark let's make a little campfire like all of
32:52
it could be there in a normal way but and not
32:55
to say you can't do that you do have other hurdles
32:57
in that situation because why would he have killed
33:01
her like well if he had shot at the thing and
33:04
it bounced and hit her in the gut and that's
33:06
the ricochet was the truth well that's yeah if
33:08
it was the truth this film is As I recall from
33:12
reading the Wikipedia entry after, you know.
33:15
Mr. Research here. Wow. You know. Tell us the
33:20
director's name. The reality is I can't remember
33:22
the director's name. Some Italian guy. I went
33:25
to this movie. I raw -dogged this movie. I didn't
33:27
look at anything beforehand. The only thing I
33:28
read beforehand was the description on Amazon
33:31
Prime. I'm just like, all right, I'm just going
33:33
to go watch this. Fine, whatever. Then after
33:37
it, I looked up on Wikipedia. This movie is actually
33:41
based on a book. I'm wondering if the reason
33:44
there's dual narrators is the book has dual narrators.
33:47
Probably. Whether that works or not is a different
33:51
story. I found it a little weird because Whose
33:54
voice am I hearing this through? Whose recount
33:57
of the story am I listening to? And it seems
34:00
like in the first half of the movie, it's the
34:03
recount of Mario and how Enrique is telling Mario
34:07
what happened. And the second half in the sort
34:10
of quasi redemption arc, it's Enrico telling
34:14
us what. actually happened and then at the very
34:18
end Mario returns and it's hey we're all leaving
34:22
Italy so none of this really matters and I never
34:25
saw this guy again yeah that sums it up pretty
34:28
well really unsatisfying yeah okay This is a
34:36
tough one. Bella Luna. Bella Luna. Did any of
34:40
you have a quote that you liked from this movie?
34:42
Just the have a smoke to the chameleon. No, not
34:46
really. I don't think his acting is great in
34:51
this film, but there are some performance choices
34:54
that are made that are entertaining. Yeah. I
34:57
mean, in terms of quotes, Michael, did you have
34:59
one? The only one that made me laugh in this
35:01
whole movie, there's only one that made me even,
35:04
and it wasn't even a laugh, it was a chuckle
35:05
at best, was, you know, they're drinking. Not
35:08
a comedy. I understand that. But, you know, they're
35:13
drinking with the major and he goes, oh, do you
35:15
know this person? And the guy goes, not personally.
35:17
And they find that absolutely freaking hysterical.
35:20
Yeah. So not personally, no, I don't really have
35:22
any. Yeah. I there were two that kind of stood
35:25
out to me. There's one where he's giving her
35:27
food or trying to. I know you're hungry, so I
35:30
have something to eat. This is yum, yum, good.
35:36
That's the kind of like performance I'm talking
35:38
about. Yeah, it was very weird for an Italian.
35:42
And then the other one, when when he's with the
35:44
major at the end, when he's going to rob him
35:46
and the major has to go take his, you know, 330
35:49
shit or whatever. 1530 1530 shit sorry in the
35:53
military here military 1530 sure European too
35:56
I like that he's just doing it like right by
35:58
a tree right next to his buddy when you gotta
36:00
go you gotta go just right in front of the truck
36:02
even god that reminds me of my trip to Mongolia
36:04
that's how you had to take a poop in Mongolia
36:06
I get it I mean come on you just shit where you
36:08
shit you shit where you shit uh but yeah then
36:10
so the major is watching him like walk off after
36:12
he's been robbed he says if this is your idea
36:13
of a joke lieutenant I order you to come back
36:15
right here immediately and it's just I'm not
36:19
joking, Major. And then he just says, fuck you.
36:24
And fuck off. I love that. I love how he also
36:27
calls him an anti -fascist in that scene. He's
36:30
like, you're an anti -fascist and tries to shoot
36:33
him. I took the bullets from your gun. Curses.
36:37
Meanwhile, I'm illegally setting up a black market
36:39
operation in Ethiopia. I'm not an anti -fascist
36:42
at all. Yeah. uh the major was a great character
36:47
i liked the major the major was a lot of fun
36:50
to watch i had a hard time trying to figure out
36:52
the difference between the mario and the major
36:55
every once in a while i would mix them up especially
36:57
looking at their imdb pictures they aged basically
37:00
the exact same and look like the same human being
37:02
that's all of italy that's italian oh also amazing
37:09
on imdb the the art for this movie is just like
37:12
a folded up poster that has all the creases in
37:14
it and everything this movie is weird you cannot
37:16
find it fucking almost anywhere yeah you found
37:19
it on probably freebie on amazon no i had to
37:22
pay for it okay yeah yeah so not only did you
37:24
guys waste an hour and 35 minutes of your life
37:27
yeah well i thought i was gonna watch it twice
37:29
so i actually bought it at seven dollars and
37:31
74 cents that would have been a steal you guys
37:33
wasted seven dollars 74 cents of my money in
37:36
an hour and a half half my time you get this
37:38
you know i mean that's yeah okay you do get sounds
37:43
like eight hours getting closer to even to watch
37:46
a rental i will say my favorite part of this
37:50
film nick cage has an awesome hat when they're
37:52
going in like check looking for um oh yeah he's
37:56
got the jungle hat the pith helmet oh yeah those
37:58
are cool yeah i always wanted to get pita pith
38:00
helmet because he used to wear that safari shirt
38:02
all the time like the brown one with the lapels
38:04
on it for some fucking reason Yeah, you should
38:06
get him a pith helmet. I know. I've got a picture
38:08
of me wearing a pith helmet trying to convince
38:11
Pete. So good. Fantastic. I love a good pith
38:16
helmet. OK, so I understand, Sean and Michael,
38:21
where you guys are. It's not like super high
38:24
on your list of movies that you liked. But were
38:25
there things that you did enjoy about the movie?
38:28
OK, so I have to say, you know, right from the
38:31
beginning, I kind of had mediocre hopes. for
38:35
this movie because you cut to the scene where
38:38
the con so he he leaves six hours for the convoy
38:41
on his journey you know enrico does and then
38:44
then the truck crashes and enrico goes and starts
38:49
walking to wherever he's walking and then you
38:51
cut to the scene where the convoy has left and
38:55
they're going down the road and they're about
38:57
to find the crash truck and it really reminded
39:01
me of the scene in the movie Patton about George
39:06
S. Patton in Sicily, driving down these, this
39:10
narrow winding road, the whole column of tanks.
39:13
And it felt like the director was trying to take
39:16
from that movie. And so I got, oh, hey, wow,
39:20
this is someone who actually knows movies and
39:22
can actually produce maybe a good war movie here.
39:26
And then it just goes downhill from there. So
39:29
that's like my one good point. It was an interesting
39:32
cinematography. Cinematography. Cinemagraphic
39:38
moment. Thank you. Thank you. That's not a word.
39:41
We're podcasters. Trust us. Yeah. Anyway, it
39:45
looked good on screen. So for me, narratively,
39:51
structurally, just this movie does not hold water
39:54
for me. kept taking me out of the film which
39:57
is largely what i will judge a movie based on
40:01
the most is like if i have to like if i'm critiquing
40:03
the film while i'm watching it it's not doing
40:04
a good job of engaging me visually i will say
40:07
i did like the cinematography um i can't tell
40:10
you why it's black and white at the end i can't
40:15
tell you why it's black and white at the end
40:17
uh my assumption is because they wanted to like
40:19
cut newsreel footage in there and have that match
40:22
up that's exactly why but narratively it does
40:25
nothing for the film. And it's just like, this
40:27
is weird. And I just, I, it's just an, it just
40:30
punctuated the, this wasn't made well for me.
40:34
Fair enough. I mean, there's a reason why I got
40:36
a 28 % on rotten tomatoes. Yeah. I mean, there,
40:40
there's a lot of like pretty bad Nick cage movies
40:43
out there, you know? And it, so now the next
40:46
thing that I want to talk about is just sort
40:47
of like, we didn't really do this back at the
40:50
beginning. five episodes that you've listened
40:52
to, but we later got to it with sort of like
40:54
the, the matrix of good movie, good cage performance,
40:59
bad movie, bad cage performance. Where on that
41:02
grid. Yeah. Thank you, Sean. Where on that grid
41:05
would you put this dot? Uh, it would be very,
41:12
very far on the bad movie list and it would be.
41:19
below the line on good, bad Cage performance,
41:24
but not a lot below. He didn't do a bad job,
41:30
but he wasn't given much to work with. I mean,
41:35
he could have done that accent. Yeah, right.
41:38
Again, I have to assume he just asked him not
41:40
to. Yeah, I like that take. I think that makes
41:42
a lot of sense. I mean, he probably tried it
41:44
and the Italians just looked at him and were
41:46
just like, no. He probably tried and started
41:48
sounding like my Uncle Sal from New York. Yeah,
41:50
you know, I mean. Well, he'd done Moonstruck
41:54
at this point, right? Yeah, which is not a good
41:57
Italian accent. No, I'm not talking about the
41:59
accent, but he knew how to do the hand work.
42:01
He had the hand guide. He only had one hand.
42:03
Oh, that's true. This one was static. Yeah. Both
42:09
characters have a weird hand thing. That's true.
42:12
I won't say the performances are like terrible.
42:15
They're forgettable. Like Nick Cage is ultimately,
42:17
I feel like forgettable in this. My one like
42:19
thought while watching this film was just like,
42:21
I'm surprised this man became the star he is.
42:26
Well, I'm surprised he was given as many chances
42:29
as he was given some of these films. Now, you
42:31
guys obviously know a lot more about Nick Cage
42:33
than I do, but he strikes me as the actor that
42:36
just doesn't say no to shit. Well, at this point
42:38
in his career, he really didn't have much weight
42:42
to say no to a lot of things. The few successes
42:45
he has had were pretty limited in scale. Yeah,
42:53
Valley Girl and things like that. Pegasi was
42:55
later. I'm pretty sure by 1989, he's already
42:58
done Moonstruck. He probably could have rejected
43:01
a Italian directed Italian movie that really
43:07
probably didn't have a lot of money behind it.
43:08
He is a cinephile, though. Yeah. I mean, he's
43:11
still doing foreign films at this point. This
43:14
Greasy Bottom Boys. Mm hmm. Foreign movies. Yeah.
43:19
I mean, it's an interesting thing. So at this
43:21
point, he was a nothing in Fast Times at Ridgemont
43:24
High. He was. a star Valley girl. He was a character
43:28
in rumble fish racing with the moon was his like
43:31
big Europe, part of the star names on this, but
43:35
he was the lesser star cotton club. He's a bit
43:38
part birdie. He's a main, but that was not like
43:42
a super. hot movie no it's pretty indie for the
43:46
time boy in blue was canadian peggy sue got married
43:49
did happen before this um so he was in there
43:51
but that was nepotism and a bit of a bit in a
43:54
weird part yeah raising arizona that's the standout
43:59
certainly moonstruck another standout vampire's
44:01
kiss should have been a standout but wasn't um
44:05
and then time to kill and our next one never
44:10
on tuesday where he plays man in red sports car
44:13
yeah nice yeah so he isn't like a star or anything
44:17
at this point right he's had some films he's
44:19
had you know some like good parts a bunch of
44:24
those movies like i don't think we're critical
44:28
successes in their time like when they came out
44:30
right retrospectively it's different but like
44:33
we look back with the lens of history on our
44:36
side and we can tell he's gonna be a star but
44:40
he's got it at the time like you know he was
44:42
also still trying to be a fairly well -rounded
44:47
actor at this point like do a do a foreign film
44:50
do something do some historicals and there is
44:53
still some of that like getting out of the shadow
44:55
of your family name right you know yeah that's
44:58
true so It's a weird one. I don't disagree with
45:02
that assessment, but it does kind of make sense
45:04
in some of the context. What you're talking about
45:06
later is when he was in Tax Trouble and he did
45:08
do most movies. Yeah. Why does it not surprise
45:13
me that Nick Cage was in Tax Trouble? When do
45:16
we watch Tax Trouble? Tax Trouble. Oh, it's a
45:19
musical? Shit. Tax Trouble the musical. Jazz
45:23
hands. It's just a whole bunch of T -Rex skulls
45:26
clanking around. A missing Superman comic. Action
45:29
Comics 1. A King Cobra loose in the audience.
45:32
Yeah, just let it go. So to get back to The Matrix,
45:37
I think there could be an interesting film here.
45:41
I just don't think this is it. But I put Nicolas
45:44
Cage firmly and kind of mid in this, which for
45:48
me is kind of the worst thing you could say.
45:50
You could give the worst review you can give
45:52
Nick Cage. Sure. You know, I'll put his performance
45:55
in. you know serviceable it's it's good enough
45:58
i was never taken aback by his choices or anything
46:04
in it and the movie um i'd give it slightly better
46:07
than i give it like a 5 .5 so yeah okay that's
46:13
pretty generous i'm kind of in like movie and
46:16
performance at the like 35 sort of zone where
46:19
it's like they're both fine i can see what was
46:23
going on here and why it doesn't super light
46:26
it for me but different director different time
46:29
different change everything and i might like
46:32
i just like chasing the thought of like like
46:37
i'm i was fairly sure through the whole film
46:41
that he was not gonna have leprosy but it's like
46:43
you have to stick around and be like what if
46:46
i can yeah Like show me that he doesn't have
46:49
leprosy. Like show me that he does have leprosy.
46:51
Cause it's like, he's going through, he's going
46:53
through, he thinks he has leprosy. He thinks
46:54
he has leprosy. Eventually he's going to find
46:56
out he just had an infected wound. And then what
46:58
does he do with himself? This is why he was just
47:00
so unsympathetic, even though the movie was trying
47:03
to make him a sympathetic character, because
47:04
y 'all knew that he was going to eventually find
47:08
out he doesn't have leprosy. And then. was he
47:12
going to still be guilty about raping and killing
47:14
this woman? Or was he going to be a typical colonizer
47:17
and be like, yeah, okay, great. I waved and killed
47:19
a native woman. And then I went home to my wife.
47:21
I would argue that the movie doesn't try to make
47:23
him sympathetic. It's his recounting of the events
47:26
that makes him. And that's, that's the plot.
47:28
That's part of the movie. So whether or not the
47:31
direction and everything else tries to make him
47:33
sympathetic, the plot is trying to make him a
47:35
sympathetic character. yeah if you buy the plot
47:38
right i think that's where what i was saying
47:40
earlier like if you had really played up how
47:42
unreliable a narrator he is that angle plays
47:45
right yeah if we had gotten some sympathetic
47:47
from his own perspective and then you look at
47:50
it from any outside perspective and you're like
47:52
that guy's fucking lying this movie could have
47:54
been like improved a lot by having somebody there
48:00
to kind of call out the bullshit like once or
48:03
twice right and it's like the doctor tried to
48:05
call out the bullshit by making him by wanting
48:07
to like look at his hand and you know yeah you
48:10
don't have here's the book on it you could show
48:12
that you don't have leprosy right you come on
48:14
just show me your hand right then that's basically
48:16
the doctor was trying to do and nicholas cage
48:18
was the care enrico was so paranoid about having
48:23
leprosy and then someone asking questions about
48:26
how you got it then going Being guilty of raping
48:30
and murdering someone, even though, you know,
48:32
colonizers don't care about that. You know, it
48:35
was it was a little. Disbelievable that someone
48:43
even in 1930 wouldn't have realized that, oh,
48:46
it's my cut that's infected. I don't have leprosy.
48:48
Right. So there's room for improvement for sure.
48:52
Yeah. But I like the premise of this film. it's
48:56
it's fine don't go watch it don't go watch it
48:57
it's hard to find anyway yeah i mean if you want
49:00
to know you can rent it on amazon prime yeah
49:02
it's not really that hard you can rent it it's
49:04
hard to find it for free it's impossible i looked
49:08
uh the internet internet archive man i sent you
49:10
a link i know i know i know i actually had to
49:14
boot up the internet archive because the amazon
49:17
version which looks like a straight up vhs rip
49:20
oh yeah uh is missing like the last two words
49:23
so i wasn't like of the narration so it's like
49:27
the movie just cuts off and i was like how does
49:30
it is there more was there more lines i had to
49:32
get on the internet and no no there was there's
49:34
like two more words two words and it was like
49:36
and i watched it via my xbox and so i was able
49:39
to go back to the button that says watch credits
49:42
and it was there yeah if you back out of the
49:46
like coming up next like if you back out of the
49:49
you know booting up the next thing it'll play
49:52
the last two words oh it didn't want to do that
49:54
for me like it was just like What were the last
49:57
two words? To kill? No. Ever again, probably.
50:00
Ever again. Yeah. Because it was like, and we
50:03
thought we never had to do. It was this ever
50:06
again. Yeah. Oh, sure. Because it was that foreshadowing
50:09
of World War Two. We never had to do. Yeah. Also,
50:12
just the title means nothing. Time to kill. I
50:17
mean, also, if you look for images for this movie,
50:19
which I have to do because I do the poster art,
50:21
everything is just like him looking insane with
50:23
a gun. And I'm like, this is not that movie.
50:26
Not at all what this movie is. No. The only connection
50:29
to the title is the last, the closing monologue.
50:32
It's like, we thought the killing time was over.
50:34
Right. But this movie isn't about them like having
50:37
to really deal with their atrocities. Like Nick
50:43
Cage is on his own thing, but I would say that's
50:45
still largely glossed over in terms of like the
50:48
plot of this film. Yeah. So I would, okay, so.
50:51
I think that this is very much a indie Euro sort
50:58
of film thing because every individual scene
51:03
after he gets back to camp from raping and killing
51:08
this woman, every individual scene is about a
51:12
moment where he could kill this person to cover
51:17
up this thing, but doesn't. And so is that, is
51:21
the person he's interacting with, Enrico is interacting
51:25
with, worthy of killing? Is it a time to kill?
51:31
Every single action. Not a time to kill. I know,
51:34
but is it the time to kill? Just time to kill.
51:37
Right. So, you know, when he's with the doctor,
51:40
he shoots him, but. shoots at him ostensibly
51:43
he purposely misses he could have killed johannes
51:47
he could have killed um anyone the major he kind
51:51
of made your die though because the major he
51:53
may have made the major die but he didn't kill
51:55
him i like i like this light of thought and i
51:58
have another uh i have another take on it okay
52:00
if he would have just not done anything and just
52:03
killed time and let the days pass he would have
52:06
been fine Or had he just gone and gotten the
52:10
fricking stamp from the guardhouse, he would
52:11
have been on the first boat and not the next
52:13
boat. I do like how every description of this
52:18
movie really kind of hammers on that whole like
52:20
dental issue. Like the toothache. Yeah. Yeah.
52:24
I mean, that's just like what gets him out of
52:26
bed in the morning. Yeah. I mean, it was like
52:28
the first thing in the entire movie. It's like
52:29
my tooth fucking hurts. I'm going to go. Yeah.
52:32
The toothache is just simply the thing that starts
52:34
the chain of events. The inciting incident. The
52:37
kill chain. Who are our Patreon supporters? So,
52:45
thank you to our Patreon supporters. Our Sparkle
52:48
Buddies, Josh, Josie, Rico, Matt, Adam, Bill,
52:50
and Stuart. And our Cage Dancers, Ira, John,
52:54
Freeman, Nathan, and Cameron. Thank you all for
52:57
supporting us. Thank you all for listening to
52:59
this and making it through this. Pretty rough
53:01
film. Get ready for an even weirder one next
53:04
week with basically no Nick Cage in it at all.
53:09
And thank you to Bill Panks for our intro music.
53:11
And thank you to Michael for being here and joining
53:14
us for this. Hey, no worries. I'm going to now
53:16
go give a chameleon a cigarette. Just because.
53:19
Hey, man, have a smoke. And thanks to Buzz Balls
53:21
for making one and a half liter balls. Repulsive.
53:27
I mean, we're definitely feeling better now.
53:29
That's true. That's true. It's doing fine for
53:31
me. I'm so glad I'm in Portland. Bye bye. Bye
53:42
bye. Are they expensive? They gotta be 30 bucks
53:49
each. No, no. I mean, like after tax, it's like
53:51
23 each. That's OK. More than I was expecting.
53:54
Still be wrong. I would be like, here's your
53:56
sixty nine dollars worth of buzz balls. It's
53:58
like, God, my life sucks. What have I done? Yeah.
54:02
Give me a bag. I don't need to be seen transporting
54:06
my biggie ball. It looked like you were carrying
54:09
a ball full of bowling balls when you came back
54:11
full of bowling balls when you came in. Yeah.
54:13
You know, I spent all my money on a really good
54:15
bowling ball. I couldn't get the bag to go with
54:17
it. Exactly. Just a plastic piece of shit. You
54:21
know, just carry them right here. crotch and
54:22
if anyone asks say you have elephantitis biggie
54:25
balls oh before we get started i just want to
54:32
share uh the nicholas cage drag show was a delight
54:37
um it went through the whole oeuvre of his work
54:41
starting with moonstruck and a very suggestive
54:43
use of a baguette but to unbearable weight of
54:47
massive talent the performer did do a whole thing
54:50
to the uh the Boston cop monologue from the beginning.
54:54
And it was spectacular. That is pretty good.
54:57
Did they cover time to kill? No. No, uh, but
55:06
they did do a ghostwriter. Uh, there was an awesome,
55:11
uh, big daddy from kick -ass, which was a standout.
55:14
And then of course, uh, my favorite one was face
55:19
off. Um, which all I will say is the Travolta
55:23
box will haunt me the rest of my living days.
55:26
I think I've decided officially that I don't
55:28
want to know what that means ever. Yeah, I'm
55:30
fair glazing over that one. Yeah. I'm just going
55:34
to let your minds run rampant with it.