Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 289. She can run a company but not a relationship: What if softness is the harder skill?

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289. She can run a company but not a relationship: What if softness is the harder skill? · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I need your advice. Are you okay? What happened?
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Promise it won't be too much?
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Bring it in.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Welcome to our Bestie segment. This is the place for you.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Hello, everybody. Welcome back to She Rises podcast with Ashley
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: and Tiana. This is our Bestie submission episode. We do
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: this twice a week. We're in your ears four times
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: a week, actually, but twice a week for besties. So
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: these are all anonymous. We have no idea who's written in,
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: but you're sticking situations that we give honest bestie advice
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: as if it was each other. All right, Tiana, what
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: do you got for us? Absolutely.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: So this podcast name is She Can Run a Company
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: But Not a Relationship. What if softness is the hardest skill?
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: I don't really know how to say this without sounding ungrateful.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: I've built a good life. I run my own business.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: I have my own place. I sought all of it
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: out myself, and I'm really proud of that. But I
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: think the way that I had to be here to
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: get here has ruined something. I honestly can't switch off.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Everything is a freaking task and my partner will try
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: to plan something nice and I'm already three steps ahead
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: reorganizing it in my head because I know a faster
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: way to do it. I correct him constantly and I
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: don't ask him for anything because it's quicker if I
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: just do it and then I get quietly resentful after
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: he has an offer. He said something a few weeks
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: ago to me about feeling more like an employee than
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: a partner and I laughed it off but I haven't
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: stopped thinking about it since. I don't know how to
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: be soft with someone. I don't even know what that
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: looks like. Every time I try to let him lead,
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: I sit there gritting my teeth waiting for it to
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: go wrong. I'm not trying to be difficult. I just
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: genuinely don't know how to turn it off after 15
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: years of it being the only thing that has worked
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: for me. How do you stop running your relationship like
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: it's a business?
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's really tough.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: I can definitely relate in some sort. Like I've worked
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: since I was 13 and been out of home since
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: I was 16. So I've always had to take care
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: of myself and earn my own money and make sure
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: I survive. Yeah. Like out of home at 16.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: When you're still in school, you're like, what the fuck
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: am I going to do? It's really, really scary. So
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: I can relate to that. I've definitely got more of
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: a masculine drive and like to take care of things myself.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: And even when it comes to parenting, I did the
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: same thing with Steve. I was like, with our first child,
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: not our second, but the first one, I was just like,
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: I know how to do it better. So I would
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: correct him and criticize him. grab the nappy off him
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: and just like jump in and do it myself. And
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: then I noticed the consequence of that is he wouldn't
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: offer to help. He just felt like there's no point
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: in trying to help because I'm just going to take
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: over anyway. So then resentment built on his side and
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: my side. You want them to help and do the things,
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: which if your man wasn't offering to book date nights
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: and do all the things, you would build resentment. Oh,
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: I can really see how this is playing out. What
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: I would do straight away is hire a coach that
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: specializes in feminine embodiment. I would go to someone who
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: specializes in that area. And just really in her feminine
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: energy that's going to teach your nervous system that it's
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: safe to slow down. It's safe to receive. It's safe
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: to just be. That you're not going to die by
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: letting go of control. And you don't have to prove
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: that you can achieve by doing X, Y, Z all
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: the time. But I would be getting outside support for this.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: I think this is something really tough to do by
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: yourself because you're just so stuck in your way. You
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: almost need someone to interrupt you and show you a
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: new way. Because it's learned behaviors. It's very true.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: And they will have insight to things that maybe you
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: haven't seen in that perspective before or maybe can help
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: you unpack why you're still sitting and fighting in that
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: masculine energy and like, yeah, hold the space enough for
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: you to soften in a safe, controlled container so that
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: you're not doing it in other areas of your life
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: and freaking out. It's like you actually get to like
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: come back into your body, which I think would be
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: really nice for you.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: It'd be interesting if you've asked yourself what stories come
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: up when you do slow down because I know when
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: I used to slow down, I would think that I'm
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: not successful or I'm not doing enough or I'm not
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: worthy or people don't want me unless I can bring
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: them things bring them help resources money time gifts yeah
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: always thought that I had to be like carrying something
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: and delivering to be loved and accepted and I was
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: also had a story that I was really dumb so
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: I thought the more harder I work and the more
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: I prove how successful I can be then other people
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: won't think I'm dumb so I was just trying to
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: protect myself the whole time yeah and then it wasn't
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: until I had my brain aneurysms when I just was
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: like fuck I don't need to prove myself anymore I've
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: done more than I ever thought possible. Actually, if I
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: was to die tomorrow, I'd be pretty happy with what
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: I've done and what I've achieved. I really would be.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: I never would have told 16-year-old self who's been kicked
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: out of home that I'd done all of this. I'd
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: be pretty freaking stoked. I think you can probably say
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: that to your younger self as well. But I think
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: your body is so stuck in needing to prove and
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: always be so busy. It's like, what are you running
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: from emotionally as well? Where did someone let you down
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: when you were younger that you had to take control?
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: I wonder if there's like a father wound there or
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: a parent figure that let you down. So you've taken
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: control ever since and now you don't trust that any
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: man around you can have it sorted. What I learned
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: with Steve, I know it's different, but with the kids,
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: I remember Steve saying to me, I'm never going to
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: learn how to be a good dad if you don't
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: give me the chance to learn. you want me to
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: be a good dad. You want me to be all
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: these things that you step in, criticize, judge and take over.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: I'm never going to get better. Let me make mistakes.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: Let me be slower at the nappy. Who cares if
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: you can do it in 30 seconds and it takes
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: me 10 minutes, who cares? As long as I get
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: a job done, right? And I will get faster if
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: you give me the time and space to actually practice.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: But every time you jump in, You've taken that opportunity
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: away from me. And it's the same with kids. If
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: we consistently tie our kids' shoelaces up and don't teach
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: them how to do it, they're never going to learn
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: how to do it. Yeah. Like why are we doing
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: too much for our kids? It's the same with our husbands. Like, okay,
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: if you can already see what he's doing takes way longer,
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: let it. Sit back. Let it. Go curl your hair
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: a little bit more. Put on some music.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: Yep. It is.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: It's letting go of control, isn't it?
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it really is.
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: It's like obviously like not asking him for things. Yeah.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: like obviously I've seen a lot of stuff like this
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: on social media and I've taken it in myself because
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: I can be quite masculine too. So these are things
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: that I've had to learn how to soften in some
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: aspects and like even my partner, like little things, like
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: he would want to open the car door for me
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: and want to do, you know, these little micro things
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: that I'm like, it'll be quicker if I don't wait
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: for you to walk around the car and open the
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: door and I can already be inside the house. But
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: now it's like things that I've allowed myself to soften
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: into and I just allow myself to just be a
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: quote unquote passenger princess. Right. Because it's nice to feel
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: like that too. I am capable of opening my door.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: I'm capable of doing all of the things.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: Who knows you are, you know you are.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: But do I want to?
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: You know, and like if you're really honest with yourself,
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: you're probably waiting for the moment that you can stop
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: being responsible for everything. And honestly, in order to do that,
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: you have to really be able to stop yourself the
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: moment you want to take control and take over and go,
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: I can do it better. I can do it faster.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: It's more efficient if I do this. But like do
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: you even really want to be doing that?
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I bet you don't.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: Because if you're honest, you probably don't. You probably want
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: someone to come in and be like, no, I got this, babe.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: Sit down. Let me do this. Let me do this
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: for you. I want to. And yeah, something that I
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: read on social media is I think it was Jake Woodard.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: He's an online coach and he talks about feminine and
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: masculine energies and relationship dynamics. He's really epic, very hard hitting.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: If you don't like the truth, don't go to him.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: You may get triggered.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: Yes, but he'll also help you learn too because he's
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: a straight shooter. And he says, like, don't open the jar.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: Let your husband open the jar. Like, you can do
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: the thing, but, like, let him be needed. Ask him
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: for support. Ask him for help. Hey, babe, can you
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: do this? Hey, do you mind picking this up on
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: your way home for me? I would love, like, a
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: sweet treat or, like, something. And letting your partner feel
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: needed again. Because, like, I would highly recommend, like what
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: Ashley said, going and getting a coach and getting support
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: to soften. But practice these little micro things now in
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: the moment. Where you can just see how your partner
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: responds and see if he's super receptive. You might be
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: so surprised at what response you get out of him.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: By the sounds of it, he wants to do that
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: for you.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: It's really beautiful. It's better than having a lazy man
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: that doesn't actually want to do it for you. That's right.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: And on the days where you feel, because I know
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: you're going to feel like this, bogged down, you feel heavy,
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: You feel so unbelievably responsible for things working. In those
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: days when you're having a hard day, it's not holding strong.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: It's like you're going, hey, babe, like I'm actually having
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: a bad day and opening up about you having a
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: bad day. Can I lean on you? Can you hold
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: me for a second? Yeah. I don't need you to
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: fix anything. I just need you to listen. Do you
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: reckon you can listen for me? Yeah. In doing that,
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: you're actually softening in that moment because you're actually relying
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: on somebody else to hold you, which means you become
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: the feminine, he becomes masculine. Yeah.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: I was just going to say that's the consequence of
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: you continuing on like this. it will build resentment on
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: both parts and it will destroy the polarity and he
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: will lean back into more feminine. You would step up
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: more masculine and over time that's going to create cracks
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: and you will end up not being attracted to each
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: other and resenting each other and just blaming each other. And, well,
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: if you did this, if you did that. And you
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: can see it's already starting to happen. It sounds like
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: he's having little moments of, like, frustration. So, yeah. Jake's
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: partner wife, her name's Melissa Woodward. She works with the females.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: So they do couples courses. He runs men's Kings webinars,
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: and she does the feminine side.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: Yes, that's true.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: We even get in contact with her because she's very feminine. Mm-hmm.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: She is, isn't she?
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she's beautiful and super soft. And she still works. Yeah.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: She still does all the things. It's not like she's
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: just sitting there cooking all day, although she does cook
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: on her stories a lot. I love that for her. But, yeah,
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: it'd be cool to work with someone like her.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that'd be cool. And also sometimes I think maybe
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: a misconception, at least this has come up for me,
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: is if I soften then I won't be as driven.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: Or if I soften then I'll slow down. Yes. And
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: it's not necessarily true because it's not slowing down your
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: entire life. It's just in micro moments you're slowing down. Yeah.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: So it's like you can switch between the energies. And
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: I've spoken about this in my stories before. I saw this,
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: Leila Hormozy spoke about this once, where she talks about
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: when she's at work, she puts on her masculine hat
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: and she envisions herself quite literally putting on a hat
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: on her head. Right now, I've got my masculine traits on.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: I'm forward focused. I'm putting out fires. I'm making decisions
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: really quickly. I'm moving the needle forward. And the moment
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: she gets in that car and she steps home to
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: step in the door to go home to her husband,
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: she's like, I take that hat off and I put
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: on my feminine hat. And this is Layla. This is
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: baby girl. This is partner Layla who's soft and nurturing
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: and cuddly and wants to talk and communicate and is
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: her feminine essence and feelings. So I wonder if that's
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: something you could practice with yourself. identify what traits are masculine,
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: what traits are feminine, and then going, okay, who am
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: I switching out into in this moment? Honestly, helped me
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: so much.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Helped me too. I had to really clock myself
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: on little things. And I was thinking about, this is
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: years ago, I've implemented this and still do it today,
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: but I was thinking about the thing, some little things
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: around the house that I fucking hate doing. One, taking
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: out the trash. I feel like it's a masculine job.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: I don't want to touch the trash. Hate it. I
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: never do it anymore. Unless Steve goes away, then of course.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: I'll take the trash out.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: No problems. Bringing groceries. So I love doing the grocery
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: shop and you betcha I can pull them all in
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: at once. I'm strong. I go to the gym.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: I got it. Not when Steve's home. He will come
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: straight out now. Like I used to like beep. Yeah.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: To like let him know I'm home. Yeah. He hears
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: the car now. He is straight out there and he's
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: carrying the groceries. I love that. Another thing I hate doing,
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: chopping chicken. Yuck.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: Fair call.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: Fucking hate it.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: If he is home.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: Valid.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: I'm not touching the chicken. I'm not. And he just
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: knows it now. And those little things make me feel
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: really feminine because I don't want to get my hands dirty.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: And I don't want to carry the bags.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: I actually just noticed one time we came home from
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: holiday and we had our bags in the back and
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: Steve came out and he grabbed his suitcase out the back.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, that's so nice. Yes.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: Suitcases, not so much. It could get better. It does
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: do it sometimes.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: Maybe you requested it. I didn't know about it.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: The other day, actually, when I came home from Sydney,
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: he was out the front playing with the kids and
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: then he went inside because he had to jump on
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: a work call. Yeah. And my suitcase was left there
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: and I was like... And I did not want to
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: pull that suitcase out. You're like, I'm not doing it.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: But most of the time, yes.
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: And groceries, yes. It's just those little things. It's like
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: we're in the house or what things do you hate
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: doing that it can feel needed and it drops you
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: into your feminine.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: It's nice.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: It's so nice.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: And we joke about it all the time. We're like,
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: I'm just a girl. I'm just a girl.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: Just a girl.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: Yes, I know how to do it. Do I want
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: to do it? No.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: And the more that your partner feels needed, the more
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: he will want to do things to make you happy. Yeah.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: Men are driven to literally please and do things for
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: others because they are led by the people they love. Yes.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: That's their drive. It is.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: It's the most beautiful quality in men. I remember when
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Steve was away and I popped my tire.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: I got so much hate on social media. You should
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: know how to change a tire. I'm like, well, one,
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: I fucking had a useless stepdad that never would have
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: taught me any of that. Two, do I actually want
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: to learn?
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: Not fucking really. No.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: I don't want to learn. So I put it up
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: in the Facebook forum in my street.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: And my neighbor instantly saw it anyway and he came
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: over and did it for me. And I was like, oh,
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: thank you so much.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: You're such a girl. Oh, legend.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: And then three other husbands like within space of 15
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: minutes were like, I can be there in like two minutes.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: Let me know what you need. I was like, oh,
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: so nice to be taken care of. I love men.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: Men do love to do that.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: They do.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: They take care. They like to take care. I'm probably
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: lifting a tire off my car. No, thank you.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: No. Any man in his right mind would not feel
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: comfortable with a woman doing that.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: I don't think so.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah. No way.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: So we hope that helps. But I would, yeah, this is,
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: I actually hired a feminine embodiment coach. You did. And
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: it was definitely a challenging three months because there was
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: a lot of dropping in, a lot of inner child,
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: a lot of meditation, a lot of slowing. I wanted
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: to talk. I think that's why I've always hired male
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: coaches because they're more logical. But this is really good
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: for me to get back in my body. And it
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: was through a time I was going through a friendship
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: breakup and I was really emotional. So it was really
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: nice to just have a safe place where I could
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: cry and go back to my little girl and do
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: inner child work on my abandonment and rejection wounds that
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: were coming up in this friendship breakdown. I wouldn't say
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: I enjoyed the three months, but it taught me how
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: to soften and how to honor all my emotions and
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: And that it was okay to be softer, be emotional,
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: be cried, be held by another female. So I thought
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: that was really beautiful. So there's plenty of coaches around
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: that specialize in that. And then I think once you
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: do that, then you can.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: Move more into the dark feminine, the sexual side of it.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: That's so fun. It is fun.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: So fun.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Good luck. Thanks for joining us and we will
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: see you in the next episode. Bye. Bye.