Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Stoner Max Wants Wine

Transcript

Phone Tap: Stoner Max Wants Wine · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It's time for your prank call. It's Brooke and Jeffrey
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: in the morning. And today, Jose's character, Stoner Max, is back.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I forget he's a character sometimes.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: And he's definitely on something when he calls up a
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: wine store and somehow gets a little confused. Stoner confused?
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: No.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: But he also gets sympathetic for all the wines that
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: haven't been sold yet.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's sad.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Because wines are people too.
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: They're not.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: If you think about it.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: It's your phone tap right now.
• 0:32
  Speaker 4: Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s. Hey, wine
• 0:37
  Speaker 4: and spirits. This is Jason. How can I help you?
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: What's up?
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: What up?
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: Hey, how are you, sir?
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Hey, is this the wine store?
• 0:48
  Speaker 4: This is the only wine store in town.
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: Yes, sir. Perfect, bro.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Because I need you to be my wingman.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: And what?
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: Selecting some wine?
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah. First off, my name is Maximus, but you could
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: just call me Max because it's like seven letters shorter.
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: I'll be happy to call you Max.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: It may be like six.
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: Hold on.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: I can count it if you want.
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: There's no need for that. I'll just call you Max.
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: What can I help you with?
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: So, like, I'm having this, like, sweet honey come over
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: tonight on a date. And she told me. Thank you, bro.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: We're slaying out here, you know? You and me.
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: If that's what you want to call it, sir.
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: So wait, where was I?
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: You were explaining a woman was coming over?
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she is.
• 1:46
  Speaker 4: What is it you're wanting to do here, Max?
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: There's just a lot of people here at the store
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: right now.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: Well, I don't like know about wine or like what
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: she likes but i do know she's a.
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: Virgo so that's great please is.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: There like a wine that makes virgos more down to smash.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: Listen it really doesn't work like.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: This no think about it bro it's pretty deep like
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: the grapes were born around the same time she was
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: oh dude they're All.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: Right, listen, man, we're getting a little off topic here.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: All right, bro, hold up. You're throwing me off.
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: You haven't been on.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: Well, think about this. I heard you have some wines
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: that are dry. But, like, if the wine's dry, why
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: does it make my mouth wet?
• 2:47
  Speaker 4: I think this conversation is now over.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: Because you and I are on two different planets here.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: So when you come back.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: I agree with you, but before you hang up, I
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: would also like to ask about your bottle adoption program.
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: Listen, I have no idea what you're talking about, but listen,
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: I really have to go.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: You don't have one. Don't you feel bad about like,
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: the expensive bottles that never get picked.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: What are you talking about?
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: Like how long has that Cabernet been sitting there? He's
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: got dust on his shoulders. Like he needs a, he's
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: a home, you know?
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: Listen to me. Wine is supposed to age. They're not
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: human beings. They don't get adopted. They get purchased their items. Oh, harsh, man.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: That's kind of like a cold way to look at it.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: If I was, well, that, I would face them towards
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: each other so they don't get lonely.
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: All right, listen, Max.
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: We're done here, all right?
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: I forgot to tell you how hot my date is.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: Her name is Brenda.
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: She's a smoke show, bro.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: All right. I love smoke.
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: All right, yeah, I'm happy for you, Max, but I
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: really have to get back to work, please.
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: Oh, sorry.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: You said the word smoke.
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: Are you kidding me?
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: Did you completely go bong-hong on me? Whoa.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: I don't even know what bong-hong means.
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: Hey, man.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Maybe I could teach you a word. It's phone tap. Wait,
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: that's two words. If you say it super quick, phone's out.
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: What are you talking about?
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: Oh, I remember. Because this is actually Jose from the
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: radio show, Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning, and I'm
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: doing a prank phone call on you.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: Are you freaking kidding me? You have got to be
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: kidding me.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, man.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: It's your sister, Stephanie.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: She set you up. She said recently you talked to
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: like a few people at the wine store who knew
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: nothing about wine and you're ultra frustrated.
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: That's a lot of people, but I've never had anyone
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: like Max call me before.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: Excuse me. It's Max Amelius. Minus like seven letters. Carry
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: the two.
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: Hold on. Maybe it is six, dude.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: You're smart.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: I actually feel a lot dumber after this phone call.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: Real quick, though, before you hang up, do you have
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: any wines born in April?
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: Come on in.
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: We'll figure it out.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: How about I adopt all of those babies on the shelf?
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: Give me a ladder. I'll get up there. Broken Jeffrey's
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: phone taps on the 20s.