Latest / Healthy, Period. / Ep 26 Pillars of Capacity

Transcript

Ep 26 Pillars of Capacity · Healthy, Period.

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, hey, welcome back to the Healthy Period Podcast.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Coach Kate, and if you're new here, welcome.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: This is a great podcast episode for you to get started here.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: For this episode, I actually recommend that you have a pen on you or you get your notes app out on your phone because today we're going to go over the pillars of capacity.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: And if you've done one of my coaching programs before or did any of my challenges in the past, you know that I talk about increasing capacity a lot.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: So when we Google the definition of capacity, capacity is the maximum amount that something can contain or the amount that something can produce.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: So when we look at the mental health capacity definition, it is the ability for one to make their own decisions.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you're probably asking me, Kate, why does this matter?
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna tell you right now, your ability to make healthful decisions, implement change, persevere when life throws you a lemon, or show up when the results aren't happening yet all depends on your capacity.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: So part of my job as a coach is to increase your capacity.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Not so you can fill it with a protocol or the more things that the wellness industry is trying to shove down your throat that you don't even need.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: But so you can enjoy going to your kids' baseball games without worrying about where the bathroom is.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: So you can perform well at work and not crash at 2 p.m.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: So you can be present with your kids and not get overstimulated when you walk in the door after work.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so you can go out to dinner with your friends and not fear food.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: So you've likely been the woman who is always there for other people.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: You have obligations, extracurriculars with your kids.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you serve at your church, maybe you volunteer at the school.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're trying to grow in your career and it's grind season for you right now.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe with all of this, your health has become something you just don't have time for.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: You mentally can't figure out what's for dinner, so you just go get takeout.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: You're drained, so you'll just go to the gym tomorrow.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: You're in the middle of a flare-up, so you need to go home and lay on the couch.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: In the world that we currently live in, every single one of us has decision fatigue.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: My girls, my clients don't hire me because they don't know what to do.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: They hire me because they don't have to think anymore.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: What if you didn't have to think about what was for dinner?
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: What if you didn't have to think about what needed to happen at the gym?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: What if you didn't have to research what diet works to reverse insulin resistance?
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: What if you didn't have to figure out where in your life you can fit in extra steps, more deep sleep, more recovery, more weight, more sunlight?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: If you didn't have to make the decision, you would do it.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: But we're tired of making decisions.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: We're making decisions for our kids all day long, for our jobs, for the annoying family member who somehow always knows when you're in the middle of doing something, they call you to crash out and trauma dump all over you.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: The problem isn't that you're too tired.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: The problem is that you don't have the capacity to hold all of the things.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: So today we're gonna go over the pillars of capacity.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: So buckle up, here we go.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Pillar number one, honesty with self.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Really, be honest with yourself.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: You've been telling yourself that your goal is to get to the gym four times this week, every week, for the last three years, five years, however long.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Is that an old version of you talking?
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Is that a truly obtainable goal?
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Or is that just an arbitrary number you have in your head because your favorite fitness influencer told you that you had to?
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: What if you started with two times this week and did that for two to three weeks before you added a third day?
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Making the decision to go to the gym two times versus four times when you haven't been going at all is a huge win.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: But also as you continue to go to the gym two times each week, it's not that hard to add an extra day.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: It becomes easier to say, oh, I feel good, let me go to the gym when you're already in the habit of going.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: So needing to decide four times in one week is hard when you've been going zero times.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: So be honest with yourself about the effort you are willing to put in.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Be honest with yourself about the time that you actually have, and be honest with yourself about what is actually important.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: I find that a lot of women have these random goals or time blocks that they don't even make sense.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like I have a client who I love her to death, but she really struggles juggling a clean house on top of being a single mom and being in healthcare for her career.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: We've actually coined the phrase one mini project for her to do every evening after the kids go to bed because her house gets overwhelming and overstimulating where she actually doesn't do any of it.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: She just freezes and doesn't do anything.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: So if she does one mini project, fold a load of laundry, clean off one countertop, do the dishes, whatever it is, she wins.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Being honest with yourself increases the wins you'll be able to stack, which gives you a nice dopamine hit.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, pillar number two, dedication and devotion.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: So once you are honest with yourself about the things that are going on in your life right now, the phase of life you're in, what is priority, you can then show up dedicated and devoted to the things that actually matter.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: And your health better be on that list.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: I know exactly what you're dedicated to based on your schedule.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: You're dedicated to the hustle, the grind, the chaos, maybe even the drama.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like a lot of women think it's discipline is what they need to get where they want to go, which is definitely true.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: You need to be disciplined financially if you want money, disciplined with your workouts and nutrition if you want the body, disciplined spiritually if you want to grow spiritually with the Lord.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: But needing more discipline isn't something that you just do more of.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's not something you just conjure up.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Discipline comes as an extension of dedication.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: So if you aren't dedicated, you're not going to be disciplined in doing the thing.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're wondering why you can't stay disciplined, ask yourself if you're actually dedicated to it.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Pillar number three, boundaries.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I know your booty hole just clenched a little bit, or maybe your eyes rolled out of your head, but part of the reason you are run into the ground is because you literally have no boundaries.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: When was the last time you said no to something?
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: When was the last time you didn't partake in something that did not align with your goals or values?
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: We as humans, and I do this too, think that we're obligated to do all of the things.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: But honestly, it is just not that serious.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: I actually started implementing my boundaries for real when I realized that it is a privilege to have access to me.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: No, I don't need to answer the phone the second you text me.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: No, I don't need to answer client messages on a Saturday.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: No, I don't need to say yes to your kid's birthday party on a Sunday afternoon to all my friends.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: I love you, I promise, but I'm going to say yes to coffee and yap before I say yes to your kiddo's birthday party.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'll just send you some money and you could take them on an adventure.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: But no, I don't need to take my Christmas vacation and make it all about all the family members that I haven't seen all year.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, not sorry.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: If you're my family, I hope you understand what I mean by this.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: The cliche saying of we make time for what we want to make time for is true because how many times do you do things out of obligation?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: All right, when my dad had heart surgery, I wanted to show up for him.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: I really love that he called and asked me to be the one to drive him, be there with him, take care of him when he got home.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: He's my dad, so of course I felt obligated to show up for him, but I also wanted to.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Showing up for my dad in that state is some is something that aligns with my values.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I did shift all my workouts.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: I did shift my nutrition for the week.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: I shifted my client sessions.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Of course I did that.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: But I went into that surgery week with my arms wide open, ready to take on caring for my dad.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Holding that boundary was important.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: And my clients needed to understand that my accessibility that week was just less than normal, and that's okay.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Or how about right this second, my husband is moving his business from where we've been renting for the last four years to a brand new storefront location.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: So we are saying no to a lot right now.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Our priorities have shifted for this season.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: So our boundaries have shifted for this season.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean that we're never gonna do anything fun again, never go on vacation again, but it does mean that in this season we have to hold our boundaries and stand firm in what takes priority right now.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: I think a lot of women, and I mean this is a human thing, but a lot of women struggle with shifting goals and shifting priorities.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing is ever going to be the same over and over and over again.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Your life has seasons and things are going to change.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: It does not mean that a season was good or bad.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: It just means that things have changed.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: So as things change, as your priorities change, as you choose what you are dedicated to, your boundaries will likely change too.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: And you need to radically accept that that is okay.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Pillar number four, self-respect.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: And my girl, I promise you that you need to increase the respect that you have for yourself.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: You are scared to disappoint the people around you all while you're running yourself into the ground.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: And that is wild behavior.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: There is no badge of honor for that.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: That is just honestly dumb.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how are you going to get where you want to go when you neglect yourself so you can take care of other people?
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: You are helping other people get where they want to go and literally neglecting everything that you want to do and everything that you want to build.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: If you are scrolling on Instagram right now, you've probably noticed that a lot of content in the wellness industry is about doing less, less noise, less things that overstimulate you, more things that are gonna help you regulate your nervous system, which that doesn't even make sense to me.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: But there's never going to be a time where you eliminate all stress.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: But why aren't you eliminating unnecessary stress?
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: So have some self-respect, show up to the gym, eat nutrient-dense foods, go to bed, eat breakfast, slow down for two seconds to actually enjoy the food that you are eating.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: These things seem so simple, but yet you gloss over those things like they don't matter.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: And these are the things that matter most.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to respect yourself, it has to start here.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: There's a saying that I used to believe, but the more I work with women with chronic disease, the more I understand why this saying exists.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: Show me your body and I'll show you how much you respect yourself.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: So that line isn't totally true, but the concept is true.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: I know because I do it.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: You judge people when you are walking around town, people watching, sitting at a restaurant, whatever it is.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I see a baddie with a body at the gym, babe, you know who you are.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: I am in awe of her.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: I know she respects herself.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: I know she takes care of herself.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: I know she values herself.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's like goddess vibes.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I know there are people you see in public that you think the opposite about.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: This is stuff we never say out loud, or you're kind of a jerk.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: But like these are real thoughts that we have.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like, would you take your PCP seriously if after the appointment you saw them outside on a smoke break?
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think so.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like the woman you look up to, why do you look up to them?
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: They probably look and act the part, they probably have their shit together.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: You don't get to the level that you want to be at if you don't respect yourself.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: So if you didn't guess, pillar number four is self-respect.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: You need to have that.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: Pillar number five, awareness.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: We there is so much going on in the wellness industry right now that, like, I don't even want awareness to be one of these pillars.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: But with the women that I work with, I'm not talking about awareness of root cause health.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not talking about understanding why things are happening in the body the way they are.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about why are your habits the way they are?
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Where did they come from?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: You glorifying hustle culture and needing to be obligated to all these different things.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: Where did that come from?
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Having awareness of why are you the way you are?
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: Having awareness of whose voice is in your head.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: There's been a lot of times in my therapy sessions, because I am a big advocate of therapy, love therapy.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: If you're not in therapy, you need to be in therapy.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Promise you that.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: But in my therapy sessions, a lot of the time, I'm breaking down these thoughts, these beliefs that I have that aren't even mine.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: They are just things that have been spoken over me my entire life.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: They're beliefs that my dad, my mom, my sister, whoever have, my bosses, right?
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Where is this?
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: Who is this voice that's speaking in your head?
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: Is it yours?
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Is are these your beliefs?
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Are these your things that are important to you?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Knowing and having the awareness of where habits have come from, where, you know, these truths that you live by, are they even true?
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: Are they even real?
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: Are they even yours?
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Having the awareness of those things is what I want you guys to start understanding.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: We have enough awareness of root cause health.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: We have enough awareness of what the conventional medicine system can do versus the functional medicine system.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: We have enough awareness to know that we want a blend of both, right?
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: So sometimes I don't think you need more awareness, but also there's a piece of awareness that we're completely missing.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you to dive into whose voice is in your head?
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Are those things real?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Do you are is it your voice that's in your head?
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: And also be aware of where your habits have come from.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you have some bad habits that you don't like, where did they come from?
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just part of your personality, that is a total cop-out.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: You blaming your personality for you being the way you are is just you deciding that you don't want to take an action, that you are not dedicated to what you need to do, that you, it's just a cop-out, right?
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: Your personality, I'm just this way because this is just me.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's a cop out, honey.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: Time to get over it.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, pillar number six is action.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: So when is the awareness enough?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: When is it time to take an action?
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because some of you are stuck in research and becoming aware mode.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: This is why I didn't want to put awareness in as a pillar, but it's a different type of awareness.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're stuck in research and becoming aware mode, when are you gonna act on it?
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because you don't learn anything without taking an action.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care what the action is, I want you to fail forward.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Learn something, try anything, but I just need to think about it.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: Do you?
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: Or is that a cop-out for actually committing to something hard?
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: And all these pillars are built on each other, right?
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: You have to be honest with yourself before you are dedicated and devoted to something.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: You have to be dedicated and devoted to something to hold your boundaries.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: You have to have self-respect to be honest with yourself, to be dedicated to something, to have boundaries and to hold them.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: You have to have awareness to understand your habits and who has who's in your head and how you speak to yourself to be able to walk this thing out, which is where action comes in.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: So all of these play off of each other.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: And my mantra right now that really helps me is what decision does future coach Kate make?
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I do that thing.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: I choose the thing that the version of the Kate that I want to be chooses.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because I will stay where I am if I always choose the things I've always chosen.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: But I will elevate if I choose the things that the higher level of me will choose.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope this helps.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you go back and listen to it again and take notes and reflect and then take an action.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to choose the action that the future you want is going to take.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: Not wants to take, but is going to take.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: The level of you that you wish to be at makes different choices than the level of you that you are at right now.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope this helps, and I'll see you in the next one.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.