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Transcript

The Two Monkey Episode · Microphone Monkeys

• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Here we come, walking down on the street.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Got the goal, no taxes to me.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Free to speak and free to trade.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Markets have no need for the microphone monkeys.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: People say we're around our kids, funkies.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: Hey guys, this is Microphone Monkeys, and today we have fugitives changing their gender.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_02: Blind drunk men driving.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, we have uh world's ugliest Hawaiian shirt, confusing AI.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: In my closet.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: In your closet.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_02: That is Will's signature look.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_02: We have the Seattle Inconvenience Store.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_02: More than a hundred people in San Francisco screaming at the ocean.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_02: I I always said I'm shocked.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_04: I thought it would be much more than a hundred.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_02: They're just getting over a thousand, yeah.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_02: And an influencer revealing a shopping bag penis growth method.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_02: So this is.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't know I was an influencer.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_02: We were gonna change the name, Will, but yeah, I guess we'll should reveal the real source of the whole thing.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_02: And today we have Mafia Mike.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm I'm not really here.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_02: Not yet.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I guess he forgot to show up.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_02: And we also have Third Eye Atherton.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_02: I also forgot.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_02: We have two missing people from the pod today.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_04: No, I I I think there's a conspiracy involved in this.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_04: I think Bill Sevier uh kidnapped them.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_02: This is in line with the conspiracy angle.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_04: So we're gonna have to call in DNR and uh find out where their bodies are.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_02: We need to find Mafia Mike and Darren.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_02: We'll have to use some Hindu magic mixed with alien paranormal devices.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_02: You have a microwave over there.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_02: We can get some TV antennas, we'll figure this out.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_02: Nurk, Nerk.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: But uh going into our first story today, we which would be very funny with uh our friend Darren, because he has some other friends who uh that this ties into.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_02: But a male fugitive avoids capture for eight years by changing his gender and living as a woman.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_02: I you know this is genius.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_02: They took all the left-wing LGBTAIQ stuff, and he's using it for his own benefit.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_04: And he's been playing for the NBA.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_04: I'm sorry, WNBA.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, he was he was caught by Russia, but he finally made it back.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I I'm sure that this isn't the only one.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_04: I think there have been many.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_04: Do you remember like uh the stories about World War II where the they're trying to, you know, get get get these people and gather them together so they cross-dress?
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_02: Well, World War II, you would have to do more of the cross-dressing angle.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_02: It wasn't as advanced with the makeup and hormones back then.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_02: But it did say he he, I think was from a European country.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_02: It says a Turkish man who had been on the run since 2018 was discovered in Istanbul living as a transgender woman with a completely different appearance, and he was taking the identity of his sister.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_04: Holy cow! And that is that is uh really bold in a Muslim country.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_04: Well, more than whipped for this one.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_04: I I you hide in a burqa.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I guess I guess that's the way to do it.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_02: That's another AI uh flock trick, too.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_04: It says Istambu was once Constantopolin.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_02: Istambu was once Constantinople.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and the way he got caught.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_02: See, this is almost like uh uh karmatic uh tactic.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: Uh he used uh criminal reincarnation, but they caught him with fingerprints.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_02: So that was where the karma came back full circle.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yep, there we go.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: But two Gral Basar had been convicted of three robbery crimes committed while impersonating a public official.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_02: So this is he's getting he's used to this in 2010, but he managed to escape in 2018 to avoid a three-year prison sentence.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_02: Authorities have been looking for him ever since, but only recently managed to identify him in the district, the Kadakoy district of Istanbul during a special operation designed to find fugitives.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_04: And if they would have caught him, they would have cut off his hand and he wouldn't have had the handprint.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, which would have made it that much easier.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: It does kind of look like this is his before picture and after picture.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_02: So it's quite the transformation.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_04: Wow, he looks like uh Jordan Peterson's dog.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, or or or a female Vulcan.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he does.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_02: He has the eyebrows.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he did some eyebrow accentuation.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_02: Uh what made this case stand out from others during the special special operation was the shocking discovery he had been living as a woman, adopting his sister's identity and changing his appearance to the point where he became unrecognizable.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_04: Well, where is his sister in the meantime?
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, she didn't catch this with her social security.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_02: It was just one digit off.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_02: Something's going on with my Instagram.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: Open a bank.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: I'm already three other people.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: Uh it's unclear how officers tracked him down after so many years, but it's believed they use surveillance to monitor his family and known associates.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_02: That's when they came to discover there were two young ladies living in his sister's home.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_02: Ah.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_02: Ah.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: So there's some collusion and conspiracy going on.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: Both of whom apparently used the same identity when going out.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_02: His transformation was so radical they could no longer rely on mugshots to identify him.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: They resorted to following this mysterious woman, posing as a sister, and gathering evidence until they were certain it was him.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_02: They finally descended on Tigral Basar's home, arresting him and carrying his sister's identity card, but a fingerprint test confirmed his uh fugitive identity.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_04: You know, I I think it would have been faster if they pulled his pants down.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_04: Do a head print with his fingers.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think put your hands down.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_04: You have 11 fingers.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_04: You are not your sister.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: You have three legs and eleven fingers.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_02: He did impeccably disguise himself.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_02: I guess if you look like your sister, yeah.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_02: Emphasis on Pecker and Peck.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_02: Uh what he is known, what is known is that Tugral Basar will serve the prison sentence in a man's prison, regardless of how he identifies.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_02: I guess that's how they do it in Turkey.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, but he may he maybe have his uh his identity pre-precede him, and he might have a lot of friends when he gets there.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: He really has to watch the soap.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_02: He'll have a lot of boyfriends in uh Turkish prison.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_02: But I thought that was a good just opener.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_04: Good open with no poop involved.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no involved, unfortunately.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: But this would make a very interesting VHS tape.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: With to Gral.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_02: But uh transitioning good from one person transitioning to me transitioning the stories, a blind man with no driver's license drinks and drives a car 150 miles on the highway.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: Sounds like a Wisconsin story, but go ahead.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_02: This sounds like Will's past.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_02: When you're drunk enough, I guess you're blind.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_02: It says a 50-year-old man from Huddersfield, uh, England, can consider himself lucky to be alive after driving 150 miles on the motorway despite being drunk and and not having a driver's license.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_04: Is he driving a Tesla?
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_02: I don't he wasn't.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_02: He had a tactic that comes up here.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I guess he's legally blind, but he can see lights.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: So he was following tail lights.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_02: While drunk and blind with no license.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_02: So oh, we got to get him in NASCAR.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_02: He lives on the edge.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_02: We get blind NASCAR.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_02: In the early mornings of June 29th, English officers were were patrolling the M6 motorway near Carleasle.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_02: They noticed a swerving car chaotically going down one lane to the next.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_02: They thought they had caught a reckless motorist, but we're in for a big surprise.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_04: I think Carlisle is actually pronounced Carlisle, but go ahead.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I don't know these English.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know these silent letters in England.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_04: No problem.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_02: But they were in for a big surprise.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_02: Not only was the driver visibly drunk, but he had no driver's license and was almost completely blind.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_02: At a recent hearing, Anthony Hall admitted to drunk driving, driving without a license or insurance, and taking his partner's car without consent.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_02: His lawyer told the judge he acted out of desperation, trying to escape a difficult personal situation.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_02: That's a good defense lawyer for him.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: He's swinging for it.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: Including relationship issues and financial problems.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_02: However, that did little to explain why a blind man would get behind the wheel while drunk.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_02: It's a nice try.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, we we could have all assumed all those things before you even use that as a defense, but that's not really a defense.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_02: People think being a lawyer is easy.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_04: No, they're they're solicitors.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_02: They're solicitors, soliciting drunk men, MD wise.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_02: Blind men.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_02: He explained he decided to drive to Scotland to escape his woos after driving uh drinking four bottles of wine with his partner.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_04: Woos.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_02: Despite never there's a lot of stereotypes in this drunk uh Scottish.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_02: Despite never having owned a driver's license, he had worked around cars so he knew how to drive.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_02: Was his claim.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_02: The fact that he had lost his vision almost completely two years ago didn't seem to dissuade him from this decision.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_02: The police report mentioned that while driving on the M6 motorway, he even stopped at a gas station to refuel and was aided by the staff there.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_02: But no one reported his intoxicated state or his obvious lack of vision.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_04: Well, I mean, they're near Scotland, so who'd know the difference?
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_02: Everybody there is a little looped out, you know.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_02: They're already lit on the internet.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_04: Again, sounds like Wisconsin.
• 12:02
  unknown: Yeah.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_02: This aren't most people from Wisconsin probably have some footing in the British Isles.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, away.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_02: It's probably the same people.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_02: You mix Germans and Irish together.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_04: There's a lot of Germans, Norwegians, Norwegians, Vikings.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of drunk Europeans.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of drunk Europeans consolidated in Wisconsin.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_02: In case you're wondering how a blind man could drive 241 kilometers or 150 miles at night while drunk, you're not the only one.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_02: But he explained he could still faintly see lights.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_02: So he just stayed behind a large truck following its taillights.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_04: So he really couldn't do it during the daytime.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_04: He had to wait till he had to wait till night.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_02: He had to wait till it's problems keeping his car steady as the police notice him swerving between lanes and into the hard shoulder.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_02: But nothing short of uh a miracle prevented him from getting into an accident.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_02: But he will now get 36 weeks in prison.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_02: Three months.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_02: Three months.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_02: Well, 12, three months.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: So it's getting close to like uh nine months.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, nine months.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_04: That's right, weeks.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_04: Not not okay.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_02: They they worded it very strange there.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_02: Uh he was also ordered to stay stow sober for 90 days after and get into rehab program.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, well, that's ridiculous.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_04: That's that's abusive.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, my God.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_02: That's Scottish discrimination.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_02: I could see being jailed, but sober?
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_04: That's that's ridiculous.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that uh you know it's it's nice when at least it fills in some of the stories this week.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_02: It's been hard the last few uh few weeks.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_02: This week was a lot easier.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_04: You Twinkies weren't with us with the uh the comic book search, so yeah, you're losing out all the way around.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_02: We went on a little uh comic book hunt.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_04: That's right.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_04: Comic comic book store slash game store hunt um the other day, and it was a lot of fun.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_02: It was a lot of fun.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_02: One was just a flea market stand.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_04: Oh yeah, yeah, with nobody manning it.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_02: With no one there.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_02: We could have taken all those Superman comics.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_02: Nobody would have said a word.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think there's much security at the flea market.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's kind of rely on you manning the booth.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_02: I know.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_02: It's like the aner hoe down.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_02: Leave the books there, you know.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_04: I was so disappointed.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_04: I I didn't see any hoes.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_04: And uh no hoes, but a lot of harvest, but no hoes.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um there were a couple heavy, uh heavy-weighted hoes down, but not one we want to pursue.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_04: Well, that's because you were there during the the the two hours and then rain out.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_04: Um I did the second show.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_04: Moppy, Moppy and Mike and I were there 7:30 in the morning after an hour drive in the heat.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_04: We're there for the hottest time during the time, setting up and all this other stuff.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_04: Next to the the guy that makes uh the kettle corn with the with the heated kettle right next to Mike, you know.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_04: We're just sweating our butts off.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_04: He was definitely rocking the ZZ top beard.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, he's a cool guy.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_04: Um yeah, and um, but yeah, we it was it was great.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_04: We had a lot of interest, a lot of people that came by, uh got a lot of uh names and stuff for our newsletter, and it was great.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_04: And the first time doing the anar one.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_04: First time, first time hoeing down at the hoe down.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_02: Hoeing down at the hoe down.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_02: But he when anytime you bring Mafia Mike somewhere, yeah, there might be issues.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_04: Uh yeah, he almost had a throwdown with the 80-year-old women at the GOP booth.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: He decided they they strolled over to the 80-year-old woman's Republican group, yeah, and uh Mafia Mike thought this was some sort of a fisti-cuff situation.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_02: So instead of uh polite libertarian mingling, uh he turned into a borderline threat from uh Mafia Mike.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_02: But Will did make him leave his bat at home.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_04: I did.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_04: I did.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_02: It was different than our monthly meeting.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_04: Or our podcasts, yeah.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_04: Or our podcasts, yeah.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_02: You have to keep Mike's guard down or hide his bat.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_04: But he'll he'll hide his brass knuckles.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_04: That's the only thing.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_04: We can't we can't we can't disarm him completely.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_02: It was good you uh, you know, you wrangled him up and got him away before he went in his pocket.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, because those women look, you know, pretty vicious.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_04: They might sober up and get out of those chairs at any time.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's not how the I will say the excitement level at our booth was about a hundred times more than the uh geriatric GOP.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_02: That's true.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_03: That's true.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, a lot more fun.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_02: And some shit talking.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_02: So people were like mumbling under their breath.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_02: I thought we might have a little debate action going on, but they kind of strolled away.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_04: We are the party people, not the political party.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_04: So we're the party.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_04: We're just having too much fun.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_02: We're the kettle corn people.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, that that was uh we do think we found a comic book place.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_02: We're not gonna name them.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: We're it's still tentative.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_02: But I think we'll have the ultimate gamer, Liberty Crack slash Ori County, LP.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I think we got a spot.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_02: Watch out, watch out.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_02: Watch out.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_02: But moving on, more to Will's attire.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_02: It says the world's ugliest Hawaiian shirt was designed to make you invisible to AI surveillance cameras.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_04: And to most women.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_02: And to most women.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_02: It already covered that base.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_02: So basically, this is a way to trick AI into thinking it's you're doing like a get-go move.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_04: I think I've seen that shirt before, and it and it it looks like it has a if if you're not looking at correct, like a bunch of different faces in it.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it looks almost like a bunch of eyeballs or flowers or something.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_04: And so it doesn't, it cannot, the algorithm cannot zero in on your face because it's also trying to look at those and it's bouncing around and everything else, and then you're already out of frame, so it can't really uh zero in on anything.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_02: See, we need to print these for the for the flock thing or whatever they're yeah, I noticed we're at our old podcast ground, they've installed a flock right in the parking lot at the forum.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, they had to wait for us to get out.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_02: Now it's the Republicans women's group, so they allow that kind of stuff.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_02: It says German designer Simon Weckert.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_02: Wecker.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_02: Weckert has created a summer shirt with a seemingly abstract pattern that actually works as camouflage to AI surveillance cameras.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's aptly named digital camouflage.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_02: May look like a hideous Hawaiian shirt, but its seemingly abstract pattern was created with a very specific purpose to prevent AI CCTV cameras from recognizing the wearer as a person.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_02: So the the first guy was pulling some Hannibal Lecter level, you know, disguise, but this is much more practical and easy.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_02: We can sell this at our booth.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_02: That that's it.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that this is more practical way to hide from AI.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_02: It said it made multiple layers and never learned what a human is.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_02: They learn what humans statistically look like in millions of training images.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_02: But in the early layers, it's edges, contrasts, and texture gradients.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_02: Deeper in the network, it's part like patterns, the head and shoulder silhouette, and the proportions of limbs against a torso, and the continuity of a body outline against the background.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_02: A quote unquote person for the machine is a bundle of visual statistics.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_02: So the digital camouflage shirt was carefully designed to confuse AI, making it very hard for them to recognize and wear it.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_02: I like it.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_02: It's much easier than you know putting a wig on or something.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_03: All that well, I don't know.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_02: Previous experience, that's not too hard to those.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's true.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_02: That's true.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_02: Those are some of the crazier VHS tapes, including the eyeliner and wigs, but the pattern was developed in an adversarial loop with the detection system itself.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_02: Generate a candidate, show it to the detector, and measure how confidently he finds the person.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_02: And they did this A-B testing to finally get the final shirt, which is an all a colorful, almost hypnotic pattern.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_02: It looks like a bunch of eyeballs stacked on top of each other.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and uh it registers nothing at all to the AI systems they tested it on.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_02: These are the practical things.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_02: This is the type of merch we should get into for Liberty Crack.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_04: Well, could you imagine?
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, the the the CCCP would have to in China would have to uh have a ban on that because everybody would be wearing those.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_04: Everyone would wear it.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_04: Their their their systems would just absolutely go nuts.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_02: You would have to do a Taneman Square protest.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_02: Or do an invisibility cloak, Harry Potter style.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, because they arrested people for for having um you know certain types of uh what do you call it?
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_04: Masks uh during the COVID thing.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_04: Because the mask would uh instead of just being blank, it would also cover up the eyes, or if they had something that looked like another pair of eyes underneath it, it would confuse the camera.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_04: And they would they they literally arrested people for having those things because they knew that that that's what it was doing to their system.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_02: Is it China?
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_02: Is it Singapore where they cane you?
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_02: Where do they do the caning when when you see it on the sidewalk?
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_02: Singapore, okay.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_02: All of Japan, China, Singapore.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if South Korea is as bad.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_02: They seem to be a little strict.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_04: Well, the Southeast Asians get yeah, they get a little anal for ridiculous things.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_04: And yeah, they get strict on bizarre things.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_04: But yeah, yeah.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they they seem they seem to like terrible.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_02: Beat through the crap.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, beat the crap out of you.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe Mafia Mike would fit in over there.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_02: He could be the enforcer.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_04: No, that's true.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_04: He does he doesn't care about what they broke or what law they broke, he just wants to beat the crap out of them.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_02: But tying into Bill, who apparently uh disappeared two of our guests today, yeah, there's another group of conspiracy theorists that are damaging traffic light sensors that they claim are actual assault weapons.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_04: That they have to be.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_04: That's an assault camera.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_04: Well, what what what I gotta find out?
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_04: What what kind of sensors are these?
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_04: Are these R IR sensors?
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_02: I think they're just normal like intersection street lights.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_04: You you have sensors that are IR, so they're they're sensitive sensitive to uh a light beam being broken.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_04: You have ones that are uh audible sensors.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_04: Um so you know, you have to have a noise or something like that.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_04: Um I mean it it depends.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_04: Uh the a lot of them the traffic lights won't work unless the beam that they have covered.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_04: Going across the the way is is is uh not broken.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_04: And so then they'll they'll keep it, you know uh that you don't get that turn light.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_04: And that's why some people have to uh creep their car up a little further so they can break that thing, so they can get the light so they can turn and stuff like that.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_04: So I mean I'm I I I I'm wondering if that's where they're thinking it's some sort of weapon because it's an IR, but yeah.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's there's a little less logic involved on this one.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_02: I think this is more of a paranoid thing.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_02: A little more tin tin hat yet.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_02: This is a little more full tin hat on this one.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_02: Uh members of a group that calls itself the Blade Runners have been accused of damaging traffic lights in Devon, England to protect locals from what they call phased array electronic assault weapons.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_04: Phasers.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, light phasers on Star Trek.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_04: Uh phased array assault weapons.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_02: It might be that that, you know, garage door opener laser beam that you were talking about that uh they have to use anyway.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_02: This is some sort of laser beam assault device that they need to take down.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: Uh traffic lights have been around for decades, but they've been getting a lot of advanced technological upgrades that allow them to detect pedestrians or adjust the flow of vehicle traffic.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_02: It's the kind of upgrades that most communities would be grateful for, but in Devon County, England, they're apparently treated as a threat and are damaged by concerned citizens.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_02: At least they they're committing.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's like these flock, the flock patriots who take down the flock cameras.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_02: These guys are putting putting human action into effect.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_02: There we go.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_02: In a video shot by a passerby, and the town, you're gonna have to help with these European towns, lifracomb.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_02: During Will's James Bond travels of the world, he's uh he knows what what would Sean Connery say?
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_04: He'd say, I don't think there's anything in there.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_02: There's nothing wrong with smacking a woman.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, Barbara.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_02: Have you seen that interview where he's interviewed by Barbara Walters?
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_02: And she said, You've said about smacking women.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_02: He said, Oh yeah.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, if she lips off, you get to give her a smack.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_02: Didn't you see Octopushe?
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_02: That's how you deal with women in real life.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_02: He thinks he's James Bond for real.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_02: James Bond.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_02: Shaken, not stirred.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_02: Is he the most famous Scottish guy of all time?
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_02: Uh other than Fat Bastard.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, there are a lot of lot of Scotsmans that are pretty pretty well known, but yeah, he's got to be up there.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_02: Well, there is David Hume.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_02: Well, he might be he's the greatest Scotsman.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, of course.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_04: Of course.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_04: What's his name?
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_04: Hume.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_02: A couple of people can be seen climbing a traffic light post and damaging equipment by cutting a bunch of wires connected to the advanced sensors.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_02: After this video went viral on social media, it was revealed that the pair, a couple of pensioners in their 60s and 70s.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_02: That's a plot twist.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_02: If fucking Steve Hoffman's out here going crazy, that's all right.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_02: We're part of a group of conspiracy theorists known as the Blade Runners.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if there's any running going on.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_02: In a number of posts shared online, the Lifracomb Blade Runners disputed the idea that modern traffic lights are designed to make urban life better and instead claim they are electronic assault weapons powered by illegal battlefield-derived technology that poses an eminent threat to life by causing a range of serious health problems, including heart attacks and sudden death.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, maybe maybe Bill knows the science behind where we may need some TV antennas to figure this one out.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_02: According to Devon and Cornwall Police, the man and woman caught on video tampering with traffic lights caused thousands of pounds, you know, British dollars, yeah, worth of damage, and were arrested on charges of criminal damage and causing danger to road users.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_02: The incident followed several reports of damaged traffic lights associated with the Blade Runners.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_02: For example, they claim that technology and traffic lights can kill humans when focusing on a target, but refuse to provide any kind of evidence.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_04: Evidence, yeah.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_02: So despite the criticism they've been facing, the Blade Runners have stated they will never back down.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_02: I like these guys.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_02: See, anytime it's government just getting a headache, uh, describe themselves as not woke and fully awake.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I don't know if that, you know, the geriatric crew, I don't know how they're uh but yeah, this was a nice we have the flock patriots here, and England has the traffic light destroyers.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_04: There you go.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_04: There you go.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_04: I love it.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_04: I love it.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_02: They took it a little too far, but at least it gave them some headaches.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_04: So exactly, exactly.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_04: With the with the I mean, that's the kind of upstart kind of stuff that we need.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we need to call ourselves like the Ori County Terminators.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_02: And we we terminate local uh corruption.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_02: Do you think Steve Hoffman, if he was head of a gang, what would you call it?
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_04: Um oh my gosh, that's a that's a loaded question.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_04: The moose maniacs.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, a flock of moose.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's like the angry antler squad.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_02: See, we wait for Hoff to he just left doing his pod.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_02: So we wait for him to leave to to give him help.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_04: Give him the moose tree.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, we we don't want him to have a chance to defend himself.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_02: He'll just have to defend in the comments.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_04: How dare you not listen to our podcast?
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_02: But speaking of inconveniencing people, uh-huh, this was not pre-planned.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_02: Seattle's inconvenience store, which features pre-tangled USB cords, yeah, among other things.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_02: A former 7-Eleven store in Seattle has been transformed into an inconvenience store.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_02: The interactive exhibit features abstracted interpretations of goods one would normally find at a store, including shoulder bags made of old Cheetos and Lay's packages, beeswax egg candles.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_02: I think Will makes those here in the in the living room.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_04: No, no, mine are earwax.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, earwax.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_02: He stores it in the bottom.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_02: He he's selling them at a premium price.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_02: This is why the forum had issues with them.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_02: So there were some the the merch department got a little some curveballs.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_02: A candle that doubles as a yardstick and keychains resembling snack foods like nerds and Oreos.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_04: I think I know what the brilliance is behind this.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_04: The actual 7-Eleven that used to be there is no longer there because they're they were looted and everything else so many times that somebody said, you know what, I'm gonna make it inconvenient, and these people come in and go, What the fuck?
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_04: There's nothing I can resell here, and and all this other stuff.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_02: This is the Vermin Supreme Seattle store.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_02: It it also had a store that looks like an iPhone, but when answered, only plays vertigo by U2.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_02: I think I think they're mocking.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_04: They're actually mocking the you go steal an iPhone and then all of a sudden it they're they're mocking their little mini society that's been destroying itself for the longest time.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_02: It says it's your favorite corner store, reimagined entirely by artists.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_02: Art is inherently inconvenient.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_02: In a society that rewards efficiency, we want to do things the hard way.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_02: So the store was created by Lilia Deering and Marianne Carter, who previously had an IKEA store that they called the S T O R with the little dots.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_02: You probably know what those are called.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_02: That's umlots.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_02: Umlots.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_02: Of course you knew it.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_02: Of course I knew it.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_02: Of course.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_02: What was that band with the umlots?
• 31:42
  unknown: The band.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_04: Hades band with the umlots.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_02: They had some umlots on their thing.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_02: But we'll look it up later.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_02: We'll put it in the notes.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_02: There we go.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_02: Inconvenience store features works by 70 artists spread across 14 departments.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_02: The our items can be purchased from amounts ranging from one to ten thousand dollars.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_02: And yet nobody's stealing them.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_02: No one's stealing them or I think buying them.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly, which is I think the mockery of what they've got from most of the stores that have gone under, which is why there's no 7-Eleven there.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_02: This did take the Indians out of the management market with these rich white women making this, but it's worth it.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes white wall galleries can feel really intimidating and not really have price transparency.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_02: So we want to fix that.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_02: We making we make uh buying art approachable.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_02: So hey, how much would you put down for a mock iPhone that only plays 2000 Zero U2?
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_04: Oh gosh.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_04: Almost two, three dollars.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe minus three dollars.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_02: But this was interesting.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_02: They they've they've commercialized the inconvenience.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_04: Well, that that's it.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_04: And and you know, it that there's so much, it goes so deep because it is.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they think it's abstract against the West, but it's really just Seattle.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it it is.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_04: It's just everybody's laughing at Seattle, uh, saying, pointing out, yeah, this is the uh Yeah, oh, we have tangled up iPhone cords that go into a U2 iPhone a mock iPhone.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_02: But tying into what might happen when the thieves go into the store in Seattle, uh-huh.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_02: More than a hundred gather in San Francisco to scream at the ocean.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_04: Well, like I said before, that that number seems way low.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_02: Way too low.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_02: They the people haven't realized it yet.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they're just getting started.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_02: More than a hundred people gathered in San Francisco to release their frustrations by simultaneously screaming at the ocean.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_02: Now, this is Third Eye Atherton's hometown.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_02: And he's not here now to help us with the story.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I I that's Myrtle Beach on a Sunday morning.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but that's mainly on Yopon.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_04: Saturday nights over, they're like at the ocean, waking up, getting run over by the beach access service.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_02: Ah I guess this is like a free form of therapy.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's true.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_02: Will himself only lives about a few thousand feet from the ocean.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_02: So the the event is known as the Guttural Scream at the Sea.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_02: Ah.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_02: Organized by local resident Danielle Egan, featuring more than a hundred shouting into the Pacific Ocean at Vista del Mar, looking over Ocean Beach.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_02: I felt like I really needed a good scream, and I think it'd be more fun with other people.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_02: See, this is how we get together with the LP.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_02: We try to make them social events.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_02: There's a lot of things to scream about in this day and age, so I figured I'd just get a lot of different people together and scream with them.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_02: So a flyer for the event said many good reasons to scream include rent, frustrations with AI, unspecified anger, and the fact that it feels good.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_04: And gender dysphoria.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_02: Gender dysphoria.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_02: People aren't allowing wigs.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_02: They keep taking your fingerprints now.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_02: So your cross dressing's getting thrown out.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_02: The group scream was preceded by a screaming contest where participants were judged based on the volume, length, and style of their vocalizations.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_02: This is like a surf contest.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, there you go.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_02: They just uh did they have a decibel meter there?
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_04: Maybe, yeah.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_04: Just grabbed one off of the road away and mafia.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_02: Mike, tell me which one's louder.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_02: Olivia Googlimoto, who wants the first place.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if I did, but it sounds like I might have.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_02: Dang, you that that that's the kind of thing.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_02: Googly mooglimato, who was awarded the small megaphone at her prize, said her scream was aimed at the world in general.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_02: I live far away from my family.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_02: That makes me sad.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_02: Capitalism, the environment, genocide, a lot of things.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_02: So very, very irritated lady.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_04: Capitalism.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, I hate stuff.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_04: I hate affordable stuff.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_04: This is just how dare you.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_02: And she gets a free microphone.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_04: I want to starve.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_02: We'll just, yeah.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_04: I'm too comfortable.
• 36:35
  unknown: Ah!
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_02: I'm too comfortable in San Francisco.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_02: I can't take it anymore.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that would be maybe one we get frustrated with some of our local Ori County political types.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_02: We could just have a Myrtle Beach ocean screaming event.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_02: Would that be one of those lighthouse cuckoo's nest?
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_02: You think we'd get wow, they'd come net us up and put us in the the crazy ward.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_04: No, they'd come net us up and run us for office.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_04: Um the chamber of commerce.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, that sounds like the kind of people we want in uh in the county board here.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_04: Let's give them a few hundred dollars under you know from our our one percent tax fund here.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_02: Is this where they got Howard Dean?
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_04: That's right.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_02: Off the beach screaming.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_02: Well, for our final story today, uh-huh, there's our influencer clavicular.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_02: Clavicular.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_02: Wit Will's influencer, but but he's not.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_04: And evidently not with my clavicle.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_02: He's known as the phallus of Wisconsin.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_02: Clavicular is a newer influencer.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_04: He's not a rumor, he's a phallus.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_02: Clavicular reveals he has a shopping bag penis growth method, as doctors warn it could cause permanent damage.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_02: So Okay.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_04: Uh I I have to give us the details on this.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_02: Before we go into it, we have been covering penile alteration procedures for the past few weeks.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_04: Well, Mafia Mike insists on it.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_02: Mafia Mike insists, he's been doing experiments.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_02: Trying to test which ones work.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_04: It's a one-night snake.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_02: But clavicular is thinking outside of the box.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_04: Ah.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_04: Well, it has to be outside of the box in order to be clavicular.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_02: There might be some suction.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_02: Uh people gay guys do the gerbil thing.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_02: So maybe women have the vaginal suction vacuum thing.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_04: Well, it's back in the box.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_02: Back in the box.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_02: So controversial manosphere influencer clavicular, not Will the fallest etmering.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_02: But this is Brandon Peters, known as clavicular.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_02: He shared his top tip for growing his manhood.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_02: Emphasis on tip.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_02: You know it's the New York Post when you get all these pawns.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_02: The microphone is dropped.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_02: Which he claims away from it.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_02: It's running away.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_02: He doesn't like this story.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_02: Which he claims can be done conveniently while driving.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, wow.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_02: There you go.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_02: Clavicular does something known as look maxing, which includes he uses a hammer to break his jaw muscles to let it reform bigger so he has more of a jawline and all sorts of bizarre looks maxing uh techniques.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_02: But this one is worrying doctors.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_02: So they warn Ziploc bang.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_02: The ziploc to the door.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_02: Interviewed by Howie Mandel, not known for liking these kind of things.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_02: A little bit of a germophobe.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_02: Uh Clovictor was asked with all this look maxing, what do you do for your penile issues?
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_02: The 20-year-old admitted he was into print maxing.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_02: Well the see, these are part of the riddles of the story.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_02: Print maxing.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_02: Print being the imprint that one's size makes against the fabric of their pants.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_02: So instead of using a cucumber, he does a shopping bag uh uh tactic.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_02: In addition to pumping and stretching, which we're familiar with on the monkey pod.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's right.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_04: We pump and stretch during the broadcast.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_02: We take turns on the shop back.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_01: Splits, splits, splits, splits for you.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know if any Frank Frank Zappa fans out there uh that it just the anniversary issue or the anniversary of um Joe's garage uh came out, and that is where the whole thing about the uh Joe making love to the vacuum cleaner is is from.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_04: So I don't know if people are getting this.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_04: Uh I'm dating myself, of course.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_04: I'm old and I I enjoy um Frank Zappa.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he stores the shop bag in Will's garage.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_04: That's right.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_04: He had to learn German because that's where the best appliances come from.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_04: And that's why I know the umlauts.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he knows the umlots and the German shop bags.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_02: In addition to pumping and stretching, as we're familiar with, uh-huh.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_02: Clavicular revealed his shopping bag hang trick.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_02: In which he fills a bag with books or weights and then wraps it around the shaft of his penis.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_02: He claims that doing so stretches the suspensory ligament, the band of connective tissue that anchors the base of the penis to the pubic bone.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_02: You could typically gain about an inch of length if you're pretty consistent, the look Maxer said.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_02: Adding that he used to do this trick while driving around in his car.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_02: So I don't know if you you know fill it with sand and hang it through your swim shorts or something like that.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_04: How is he how is he standing up in his car?
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_02: That's why I think he's he's I think he's doing the seated position uh form of reps for this or for that one.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_04: Weird.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_02: However, there's no strong evidence that hanging weights from one's wang will increase its size.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_02: Dr.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_02: Rajish Patel, president of the Association of Urological Specialists, says that medical penile traction devices can add a bit of length, about a half inch, to just under one full inch, but they're designed to apply a controlled amount of tension, which is vastly different than the do-it-yourself hanging method.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_02: Uh something Patel unequivocally.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_04: How dare you do it yourself?
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_04: You have to have a professional do it.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_02: You have to have a professional urologist involved here.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_02: And uh I guess are they trying to say that's a legit tactic?
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_02: If if Dr.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_04: Patel comes in and just somebody has got uh uh you know uh a bunch of uh degrees from a university and um it's your insurance will cover it.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_04: Um yeah, uh I mean uh I don't know what legitimate medical reason you'd have to lengthen your penis for.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_04: So I uh I'm just gonna throw the bullshit flag on both of them.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_02: Well, um people do have micropenis syndrome.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_02: Don't they have implants where they'll cut it up like open like a hot dog and like put an implant in there?
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_04: And I have no idea, but this is sounds like something you should have for next week.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we need to look this up.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_02: I vaguely remember saying something.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_04: I want to look at your browser history.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um we could there have to be some do-it-yourself uh improv ways to work on all the techniques.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_02: If if only vacuum technology can't quite do it, maybe weights, maybe a controlled weighted system might work.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_04: Wow, that's it.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_04: I I think your method is the best.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_04: Just have uh very large women hanging from your penis.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_02: That's my main method.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_02: But unfortunately, if someone has micro penis, it can be very difficult.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_02: It might not make it to the hole.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_02: So but if you want to stay a virgin while pretending to have sexual relations, meet us at the comic book store.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, I'm sorry, go ahead.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes, yeah.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah that that's that might be an STD-safe way of doing things.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_02: Uh the post added that he was really concerned about the trend.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_02: The idea that you can simply stretch the suspensory ligament and safely gain an inch is misleading.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_02: You could do serious damage since hanging weight from penis strange the delicate blood vessels, nerves, and erectile.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_02: Tissue.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_02: The extra tension can cause bruising, swelling, skin injury, and significant pain, said Patel.
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_02: But when he does it, it's okay.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_04: But if you have an MD and you're uh and you're yeah if you have an MD from India and you charge somebody thousands of dollars, then it's okay.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_02: If you come to my clinic in Turkey, we can deal with this a different way.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_04: And ignore my nurse that's uh got the thing between her legs.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_02: So desperate to grow your groin that you're willing to risk it, take heed.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_02: The method could also end up making you look smaller by damaging the suspensory ligament that's responsible for supporting and stabilizing the penis.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_02: You don't know when you've crossed the line from stretching tissue to restricting blood flow or actually injuring it.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_02: If the ligament is overstretched, it could change the angle of the direction and make it less stable.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_02: Can you imagine an unstable erection?
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_04: Unfortunately.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, this is is this something is this the the episode where you shame me?
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you know, come on.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_02: Will did some damage in the VHS days.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I think large women.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_02: There's many ways you can you can screw up this ligament.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_02: Uh it's not the first time looks maxing influencer has shared his shopping bag trick, previously included uh this technique on Logan Paul's podcast.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_02: Well, Callick Clavicular reported he noticed improvement, but from what is considered penis maxing, he has also admitted the angle will lower a bit.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_02: Ah.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_02: So despite the gains, it's not just the video that worries Patel, but the larger issue of body image and anxiety around penis size and how influencers like clavicular could magnify that.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_02: Once they start experimenting with weights or aggressive stretching techniques, they can turn a cosmetic concern into a real medical problem.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_02: If you're concerned about your size, he said, talk to a urologist.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_02: Of course.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_02: We've come full circle.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_02: We can tell you what's normal, what evidence is behind it, and possibly present prevent permanent harm.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_04: I'd just rather get three girls from Upon to come in and tell me what's true.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_04: It costs you a lot less and a lot less anxiety.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_02: Go you Yopon and the dollar store.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_02: There you go.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_02: The little skinny diseased ones and the fat ones all in one.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_04: Or or the the the place the Zen master is trying to get us to now.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, he's trying to get us into his Hindu cult.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's right.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_02: It was right next to one of the comic book uh game places we were looking at.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_04: No, he said it was up on the border.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_02: Uh well it is if you go across the street to the beach.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I got you.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_02: He didn't Third Eye Atherton is trying to get us to go to uh what is his name?
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_02: Like Holy Baba or something.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_02: In uh in Myrtle Beach.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_02: And start I I'm open to meeting Hindu Indian girls, but when I looked in the window, it was mainly old white women who were though.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_02: Not exactly the same demo.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_02: But uh yeah.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_02: This has been quite the interesting week, and we have been forced because of the evil Bill Sevier abducting our friends.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_02: We had to do the skeleton crew, no mafia Mike, no Darren.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_04: Nope.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_04: I think they're they're just so upset that we ran around uh behind their backs and um and uh went to the comic book store.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, see see all the dudes at the comic book store that all wish they could join the Touch of Booby tribe and stuff like that.
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_02: So they did uh Darren is the magic the gathering master.
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_02: Ah, yeah.
• 49:01
  SPEAKER_02: And they did have large sweaty guys performing card games uh on the tables.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, yeah.
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_02: We shall see.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_02: Hopefully, uh as we're trying to build this up, they don't listen to this specific podcast.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, our partnership.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_04: They'll say, you know what, these guys are are such terrible guys.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_04: We've got to get them in here and uh yeah.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_02: We're used to shady, sweaty guys coming in here and exactly.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, these are our people, these are our main, our main demographic.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_02: We need to that's right, get more events and money involved.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_02: We need to have a magic the gathering cult event where we bring in other autistic libertarians without girlfriends.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_02: That's it.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_02: That's the main if you did the Facebook analytics, they they're not too polite, but you know, you can't argue with them.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_04: I keep looking around our table, and there's no this is always a sausage factory, you know, there's no women around here.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_04: So uh yeah.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_02: See, that's why we have to get in wigs and infiltrate one of these No Kings rallies.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_04: That anybody that has a woman, they their their woman keeps saying, You can't hang out with those guys.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_04: Nope, nope, nope, nope.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_02: Uh they're talking about CrossFit diarrhea.
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_02: And going to midget wrestling events.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_02: Uh yeah.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_02: Or or the you know, the Masters Club or something.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's it's one thing after another.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_02: By the way, most Masters Club events are couples nights.
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_04: That's a vast majority.
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_04: Well, the when we went there for the uh the midget wrestling, 90% of it were couples.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, there were even a couple gaggle of women that came in.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, a gaggle.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, like four or five.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_02: We need to get a net, we'll get the bring the gaggle to our Dungeons and Dragons.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_02: The Masters Club is meant for all people as long as you're over 21.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yep.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_04: And um same with Rebel Rabbit.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_02: Rebel Rabbit, uh Zoom lure.
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, we also took a trip on our comic book adventures.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yes, we did, to Coastal Green, which is a very fancy high-end like CBD dispensary, hemp related uh thing that I always Darren, again, when we need third eye, he's not here.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_04: That's right.
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_04: Third eye sneak.
• 51:23
  SPEAKER_04: Got a one-eyed sneak.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_02: There's Mafia Mike's third eye, and then there's Darren Atherden's third eye.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_02: Uh do with the one-eyed snake.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_02: I'm glad you're bringing Mafia Mike's energy to the show.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_02: That's all right.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_02: We uh I I got a hundred and sixty dollar huge thing of CBD liquid to use for sleeping because Steve Hoffman, Stone Cold Steve Hoffman, yeah, has a sleeping concoction.
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_02: He's uh finagled up.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_04: That's right.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_04: Dr.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_04: Steve.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_02: Dr.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_02: Steve Hoffman, the Minnesota maniac likes to combine melatonin and uh CBD together.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_04: Do you think that would be doctor recommended from uh I don't, you know, if you if you get to talk to them honestly, I think most of them would say, yeah, that would probably be a good good combination for a lot of people.
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_04: Um but to get them to do it on the record, uh I think they're too afraid of losing their licensing or or stuff like that, or you know, getting in danger.
• 52:27
  SPEAKER_04: Um uh yeah, it's uh the physicians in my life, uh meaning, you know, their family members or people I personally know, um, yeah, they talk a lot different uh than they would in their medical environment.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_02: That's too bad.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_02: You'd think what are over half the states have reg are uh at least medical.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_02: Marijuana.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_02: And here it's just half.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_02: I will say I have had very bad experiences with THC.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_04: Well, I mean, some people can't tolerate certain things, but not CBD.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_04: Well, again, you know, some people can't tolerate certain certain things, and and you know, the percentages are fairly low.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_04: You're just one of those unicorns.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_02: One of the unicorns that that comes into it.
• 53:14
  SPEAKER_02: They can no longer walk, but it's significantly and and and it's important.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_04: Uh oh, yeah.
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_04: So you want some rebel rabbit?
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_02: Anytime I have any alcohol or THC, yeah, the room starts spinning.
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I got it.
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_04: I will tell you something.
• 53:30
  SPEAKER_04: Um, this has kind of been a dirty trick, but I did have somebody tell me uh like you that they you know could not they've been around people who are pot smoking and even secondhand pot smoking, you know, made them very ill and all this other stuff.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_04: And I said, Great.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_04: And um I I kept my mouth shut because I didn't know this before I offered them to taste some rebel rabbit.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_04: And um, and they had a good bunch of it.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_04: And it was a couple days later.
• 54:00
  SPEAKER_04: And I said, How'd you feel?
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_04: You know, after oh yeah, I was fine, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_04: And I said, Okay, did you know that that was a THC drink?
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_04: Well, I thought I did.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_04: And this is so funny, it's like swifting.
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_04: I thought I did, my I, you know, I was feeling this, I was feeling well, you didn't tell me that two seconds ago.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, well, I just didn't want you to feel bad, and blah, blah, blah.
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm like, Are you sure?
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_04: Because it sure seems like this is uh, you know, you're trying to justify something else here.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but I said, Well, I get that, you know, it's uh but I would never have offered it to you if if I thought that that was a you know an an issue that you had.
• 54:35
  SPEAKER_04: So I apologize.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_04: And they were like, Well, yeah, don't don't do that.
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_04: And I was like, okay, that's fine.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_04: And uh, and and she's a she's a nice person and everything else, but uh yeah, it it's uh people in their head.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
• 54:52
  SPEAKER_04: I think I think she built it up so much in her in her head, and um and she's very uh she's very much into her religion now.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_04: She she didn't grow grow up religious, but she had some drug problems early on that didn't have THC was not one of them.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_04: She she went real strong with the the drugs and missed out on the pot, I guess.
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_04: Uh but yeah, she started out with uh you know uh the uppers pretty much first and then just went on from there, you know.
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and so I'm trying to keep it at nicotine lozenges and caffeine drinks, but if I ever touched any stronger upper, I would be in trouble.
• 55:35
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I I had a real when I was in college, uh yeah, it had to be my f was it my freshman year?
• 55:44
  SPEAKER_02: What about 1960?
• 55:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 55:46
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 55:48
  SPEAKER_04: Back in the day.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_04: Um uh but anyway, it was uh one of my first year or first two years.
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_04: No, it it had to be my second year.
• 55:56
  SPEAKER_04: This is my sophomore year.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_04: Um I got I had some black Cadillacs, which are these black uh caffeine type pills.
• 56:07
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, like black beauties, like black beauties or black Cadillacs and things like that.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, but mine were so strong.
• 56:13
  SPEAKER_04: I was just, I was, I was my head, I was hurting, I couldn't sleep at all after, you know, long time afterwards, and I was you know getting to the point where I was having you know delusions and stuff.
• 56:27
  SPEAKER_04: I was just like paranoid and oh, I was uh terrible.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_04: And uh the guy that lived across from me was pre-med.
• 56:37
  SPEAKER_04: And uh he he he said, Hey dude, are you are you okay?
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_04: He came over to me and he said, Are you okay?
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_04: Because I've heard you cussing and everything else, and it's just not like you.
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_04: And I said, Uh yeah, I'm just really having a difficult time.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_04: I I'm gonna tell you, I've had these black Cadillacs, I've never had them before, and you know, and all this other stuff.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_04: And he goes, Oh yeah, you you overdid it.
• 56:59
  SPEAKER_04: And um I said, you know, I I do I need to go to the hospital, you know, what's the what's the problem?
• 57:03
  SPEAKER_04: He goes, No, no, I'll take care of it.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_04: He said, No, no problem.
• 57:06
  SPEAKER_04: Um he said, I've got some chewable vitamin C's and I want you to take and it it worked.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_04: Vitamin C, chewable vitamin C.
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_04: And it had to be chewable.
• 57:16
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know why.
• 57:17
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but yeah, he had me taking two of his chewable vitamin C's at certain intervals and stuff, and then he said, as soon as everything is subsided to stop taking them and get a nap.
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_04: Oh my.
• 57:31
  SPEAKER_02: I thought he was just gonna hand you a big blunt or something.
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_04: No, here let's calm you down, buddy.
• 57:36
  SPEAKER_04: No, no.
• 57:36
  SPEAKER_04: That he said, you know, that that would be a lot of people's reactions, and that would be like the exact wrong thing to do because then you're just high in a weight.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_04: And uh yeah.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_04: You're high and angry.
• 57:46
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_04: Um, so yeah, uh, but he vitamin C.
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_04: That was that was C.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_02: Well, see, full is that the hardest drug you've ever done?
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_02: The black beauty?
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_02: No, God.
• 57:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um I don't have full Woodstock.
• 58:02
  SPEAKER_04: No, I mean, I I I think I've confess with you.
• 58:05
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I know we're toward the end of the hour, but um, I was at a a party in college again.
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_04: Um, older people, uh, and I didn't know it was a coven.
• 58:17
  SPEAKER_04: And um they some and I had been I got off work uh and got over there and I was really hungry.
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_04: And somebody offered me a magic milkshake.
• 58:27
  SPEAKER_04: And I was like, milkshake would be great.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_04: You know, this is fantastic.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_04: And I did not realize that I was taking hallucinogen.
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_04: Oh yeah, and it was great, it was glorious.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_04: Um I don't think I would have experimented with that.
• 58:43
  SPEAKER_04: And and I it was a a great accident, and they made it uh they made it extra strong because they thought I wanted it extra strong.
• 58:51
  SPEAKER_04: I was just extra hungry.
• 58:52
  SPEAKER_04: I I had no idea what I was, you know.
• 58:54
  SPEAKER_04: I'm I'm a doofy kid from the farm, you know, off the farm and in college.
• 58:59
  SPEAKER_04: And uh and these, you know, people were, you know, these old hippies and uh that are in this coven are like all very excited that um uh young guy is there and he's interested in all their stuff.
• 59:11
  SPEAKER_04: And uh yeah.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_04: So I my my girlfriend um came in and she's like, Oh, what are you doing?
• 59:16
  SPEAKER_04: And I said, Oh, I'm having this milkshake and it really is magic.
• 59:20
  SPEAKER_04: And I asked him for extra because it was I was really hungry, and she's like, Oh my god, she ran off and she came back.
• 59:25
  SPEAKER_04: She goes, I'm gonna be sitting with you for the rest of the night.
• 59:28
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_02: Why is the room uh yeah?
• 59:31
  SPEAKER_04: I was wondering why the uh the wallpaper was waving.
• 59:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, why does it look like a Hawaiian shirt all on the walls?
• 59:37
  SPEAKER_04: But you know, it was a it was good because it it it taught me because I was I was uptight.
• 59:43
  SPEAKER_04: I was I you have to admit, I you know, small town kid and everything else, and I was just overwhelmed with stuff, but I was really uptight.
• 59:49
  SPEAKER_04: But that experience taught me that this isn't that bad.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_04: You don't it's not like you go mad or anything else.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_04: If you relax, you're in a good environment and stuff.
• 1:00:01
  SPEAKER_04: It really did open up a lot of things for me and and it and it kind of released a lot of things and and it gave me a better perspective on on life.
• 1:00:10
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it was it was it was a good experience.
• 1:00:13
  SPEAKER_04: You became enlightened.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly, exactly.
• 1:00:16
  SPEAKER_04: It it it forced me to get out of uh my own way, uh so to speak.
• 1:00:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:00:23
  SPEAKER_02: This is what we do to the Republicans women's group.
• 1:00:27
  SPEAKER_02: This is how we convert them to libertarianism.
• 1:00:31
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, not Mafia Mike's way of beating them into submission.
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_02: It's not not the brass knuckle way.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_02: We'll do the uh magic mushroom milkshake.
• 1:00:39
  SPEAKER_02: There we go.
• 1:00:40
  SPEAKER_04: Or just go to uh to explore, you know, zoom or or plur.
• 1:00:46
  SPEAKER_04: Will you get rid of zoom trip.com extra qm trip.com and um and you know try it out.
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_02: Um because Will Will's the uh the the the co the he's on the board.
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_04: That's right.
• 1:01:01
  SPEAKER_04: Well, with this, it's been another wonderful adventure with the microphone monkeys.
• 1:01:07
  SPEAKER_04: Tune in to us next Thursday when we drop another uh fun fact, very informative.
• 1:01:13
  SPEAKER_04: Don't miss out on this important story.
• 1:01:15
  SPEAKER_04: Important stories, yeah, in your life.
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_04: So uh say goodbye.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_04: Say goodbye, monkeys.
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's a mushroom.