Latest / What is Business Development? / Episode 63: BD Book...Top 3 Tactics from Jason Levin, author of "Relationships to Infinity: The Art and Science of Keeping in Touch"

Transcript

Episode 63: BD Book...Top 3 Tactics from Jason Levin, author of "Relationships to Infinity: The Art and Science of Keeping in Touch" · What is Business Development?

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Business Development podcast brought to you by
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: the Global Business Development Association, delivering the strategies and tactics
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: to boost your career and corporate growth.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: Hell BD pros and welcome to the Global Business Development
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: Association podcast called what is Business Development? And let me
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: ask you. Have you ever felt awkward wanting to reach
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: out to a friend or a colleague You haven't spoken
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: to them in a while, and so you didn't reach out. Well,
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: if you feel like your networking skills appear disingenuous but
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: come authentically to everybody else, well, I have a fantastic
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: guest today. He's the author of a wonderful book. It
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: really speaks to what we do as business developers. Our
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: guest is a geek of social science focused on week
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: and dormant ties. We'll get into that in a second.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: And so he published this book called Relationships to Infinity,
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: The Art and Science of Keeping in Touch. He published
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: the book in twenty twenty two. It's on Amazon, has
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: over five star ratings from I think about one hundred
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: and seven people so far. So that's a huge number
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: of reviews if you know anything about Amazon and book sales.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: So wonderful book I loved reading it. You know, look,
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: each of us has a daily opportunity to authentically connect
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: with your network and when it comes to business relationships
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: and more specifically, business development, Our Guest Today is a
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: wonderful resource for that, and so is his book. He's
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: a sought after keynotes seaker trainer and business development and
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: executive career coach to global organizations, professional associations, law firms,
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: and executive search firms. Through interactive keynotes, retreats, training and webinars,
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: he empowers c suite executives, retired members of Congress and ambassadors,
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: senior lawyers, executive search professionals, and athletes to make intentional
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: career transitions even into retirement and post retirement, and he
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: helps build, grow, and nourish their professional services practice. He's
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: also the founder of Ready Set Launch LLC that he
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: founded in twenty eleven after a global career in brand
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: management at Unilever, consulting at Accenture, and law firm branding
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  Speaker 2: sales at fault dot com. Keeping in touch is part
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: of his DNA, and he still believes handwriting thank you
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: notes to people who have helped him along the way.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: Our Guest Today Jason Levin. Jason, welcome to the show, Tony.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: Thank you so much, pleasure to be here. What a
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: wonderful introduction. I should hire you to be my PR person.
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: Thank you, thank.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: You well that comes. Thank you so much. That's quite
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: a compliment coming from a PR person like yourself and
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: a business development expert in the field of networking. When
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: I saw the title of the book, I was just
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: so excited to read it because I am a big
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: believer in the that business development fundamentally is an exponential function.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: Sales and marketing are linear. Double the number of ads,
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: you double the number of impressions, double the number of
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: cold calls, you'll double the number of meetings. But if you,
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: as a business developer, win a client, take care of them,
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: help them succeed, they become your advocates. They in turn
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: tell two of their friends, who tell two of their friends,
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: who tell two of their friends. If you map it
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  Speaker 2: all out, it's a fractal that's exponential and it's infinite,
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: And it's so exciting to have you on the show today, Jason,
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  Speaker 2: to show us how we can get to that exponential,
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: infinite return through our network. So tell me a little bit, Jason,
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: how did you get into the field of business development.
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: It started in seventh grade Tony, where I saw an
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: opportunity where my classmates liked candy, and so I noticed
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: there was a need, and so I started selling tic
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  Speaker 3: TACs to my classmates, and my mom would take me
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  Speaker 3: to the costco of the BJS and I would buy
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: my tic TACs for the week, and I would sell
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: them on the bus and at my locker, and I
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: started to recognize that, of course orange was the most popular,
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: and I was probably grossing about twenty five or thirty
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  Speaker 3: dollars a week just in tiktac sales. And there got
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: to be a point in this journey of selling tik TACs.
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  Speaker 3: There was a line at my locker of people that
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: were waiting to buy their tic TACs, and my social
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: studies teacher saw what was like, why is this happening?
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: And he's like, all right, you're shut down. And so
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: much so. He was also in charge of the morning announcements.
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: So the next morning, over the middle school loudspeaker, they
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  Speaker 3: announced that the tic Tac Man was out of business.
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: And so that was my nickname for the rest of
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  Speaker 3: middle school in high school, and it was this also
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: happened right before Halloween. So my mom and I put
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: together a costume. I came in as a Tictac box,
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  Speaker 3: and so that's where it all started. I was like, wow,
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  Speaker 3: you're you know, there's this opportunity, and it's like, oh,
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  Speaker 3: if you just provide that in an easier way, then
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  Speaker 3: you can make money. And so I was always after
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  Speaker 3: that Tictac moment, I was like, all right, well, what
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  Speaker 3: other things do people need and how can I provide that?
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  Speaker 2: I love that story the tic Tac guy. All right, well, folks,
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  Speaker 2: we're here with the Tictac guy today to take us
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  Speaker 2: to infinity and beyond with his book, Way beyond tik TACs, folks,
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  Speaker 2: we're going he's selling hardcore books on networking, and you're
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: selling them like tiktacs. I'll tell you, so, let let's
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: peel back a little bit and get a sense of
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: why did you write the book?
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  Speaker 3: You know, I always was fascinated with this saying that
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  Speaker 3: we say keep in touch, but we don't.
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  Speaker 4: Act on it.
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  Speaker 3: And I was wondering, well, why why is it that
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  Speaker 3: we say this, you know, phrase keep in touch, when
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: really we mean goodbye? And throughout my own experiences and
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: the trainings and the coaching that I've done that when
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  Speaker 3: people did reconnect with people that already liked them, with
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: people that already trusted them, with people that had already
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: been a client or former boss or a former mentor,
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  Speaker 3: good things happened. And so when I started my business
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  Speaker 3: fourteen years ago, I said to my wife, I'm going
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: to write a book. It's going to be called Relationships
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  Speaker 3: to Infinity. And my wife said, awesome. And it only
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: took ten years to actually write the book because, as
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: we know, writing a book, you you know it's pain,
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: it's suffering, and you know you need to actually go
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  Speaker 3: out and.
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  Speaker 4: Build a business.
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  Speaker 3: But when the pandemic happened and I was lonely and
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: I was cut off from my community, I said, now's
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: the time that I need to write this. And so
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: I was writing it during a time where there were
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: a lot of people that were not seen. And what
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  Speaker 3: I came to realize when the book came out was
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  Speaker 3: that I actually solved for a larger problem than I
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  Speaker 3: had to even anticipated.
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  Speaker 4: Because it's so founded.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: In social science that actually people feel better, and now
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: it's actually be sometimes even being used in wellness activities
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: because we all need connection, and so Tony, that was
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: the original reason why I bought why I wrote the book.
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: There's a second reason, Tony. Eighteen months later after the
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: book was published, I got diagnosed with adult ADHD, like
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: my son got diagnosed with ADHD. And what I came
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: to recognize in that journey was the reason why I
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  Speaker 3: was even interested in the topic in the first place.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: Because many that are neurodiverse have a inability to recognize
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: social cues. And so I didn't have a lot of
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: friends in elementary school, and I was always wondering how
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: do you make friends? And you know the classic advice, oh,
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: go listen or go be authentic. Well, with someone with ADHD,
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: I need a checklist. I need like what are the steps?
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  Speaker 3: And what I came to realize is that and also
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: people with ADHD over focus on certain things and underfocused
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: on others, And so what was.
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  Speaker 4: My overfocused connection?
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  Speaker 3: And when I started to realize there was social science
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  Speaker 3: and that I actually my favorite book is a tool
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: Golwandhi's Checklist Manifesto, where he talks about making checklists. It's like,
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  Speaker 3: what if we actually came up with a social science
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  Speaker 3: based approach two relationships that could serve as a checklist
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: for people that are actually trying to get actionable advice
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  Speaker 3: rather than drop the mic. Mentorship is important, drop the mic.
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  Speaker 3: It's all about relationships where it's like, well, what's the
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  Speaker 3: protein behind that?
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  Speaker 4: And that was my hope.
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  Speaker 3: So the long winded way of saying, that's why I
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  Speaker 3: wrote the book.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, and I'm glad that COVID and the pandemic
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: could be a catalyst for completing the book for you.
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  Speaker 2: A fun fact, Isaac Newton created calculus during a global pandemic,
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: and so folks don't worry. There's no calculus in Jason's book,
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  Speaker 2: but there is a lot of great social science to
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: help prove why you should do networking. How to do
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: the networking backed by science, adding the protein to a
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  Speaker 2: lot of that sugary fluff you often here, Just go
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  Speaker 2: out and make friends. Yeah that sounds simple. So Jason,
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  Speaker 2: let's break down the book into your top three takeaways,
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  Speaker 2: top three tactics that folks can follow. What would be
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  Speaker 2: number one?
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  Speaker 3: You know, I think number one is really and you
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  Speaker 3: had started this at the intro, is to understand your
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  Speaker 3: weak endormentize because if you take the ig off of
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  Speaker 3: networking and just start with your network, and you define
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  Speaker 3: your network by the people that you've already interacted with.
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  Speaker 3: There and lies the opportunity. And so too often you
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  Speaker 3: know your code calling or you're going after this, and
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  Speaker 3: you're living in this mindset of scarcity, when in reality,
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  Speaker 3: your real opportunity are the people that you have already
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  Speaker 3: interacted with, those friends from high school and college and
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  Speaker 3: grad school. You know, Tony, you've served all the people
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  Speaker 3: that you've trusted, and they trusted you in being in service.
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  Speaker 3: That first job, that first mentor that gave you that opportunity,
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: that first client that really stretched you. So the beginning
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  Speaker 3: of everything, and the step one is you need to
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  Speaker 3: stop reflect and begin to write down all these wonderful
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  Speaker 3: people that you've been saying to yourself. You know, I've
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: been meaning to get back in touch with or I've
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  Speaker 3: been thinking about. You need to start a list, and
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  Speaker 3: it needs to be based on your weak in dormantize
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  Speaker 3: these people that either you've lost touch with or and
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  Speaker 3: those are dormantized or weak ties.
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  Speaker 4: These are people that.
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  Speaker 3: Not necessarily your best friends, but people that you've had
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: some kind of connection with. That's the step one is
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: even identifying who those.
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  Speaker 4: People are and that is an incredible use of time.
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  Speaker 2: I love it. Step one, do a network assessment, and
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: if we can, Jason, I'd like to peel back the
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: layers of the onion and let's let's dig a little
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: into the science, the social science which started in the
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: nineteen sixties for network theory. And one of those disciples
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: of the original lead scientist for this, who was doctor
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: Harrison White. One of his students was doctor Mark Grenowter.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I pronounced.
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: It grandvettor Mark Granavetter, Sure, Mark, Mark Grant Grandvetor.
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: Mark Granovetter. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: So Granted Vetter created the seminole theory of strength of
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: weak ties in nineteen seventy three. Can you tell us
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: a little bit about that science?
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  Speaker 4: So what's cool about Granted Vetter?
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  Speaker 3: And when we talk about science, he was really interested
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: in Stanley Milgram's experiment of the six degrees of separation,
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: where you had a group of people that would send
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: these chain letters back in the nineteen sixties and seventies,
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: and the ones that sent the chain letters to not
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: people they knew very very well, but their cousin or
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: their casual acquaintance.
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  Speaker 4: The letter got to that.
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: Stockbroker in Boston in six touches, right, and so that's
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: where six degrees of separation comes from. And so, granted
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: Vetter was really interested in that experiment. He said, you
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: know what, I want to use a different goal. And
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: he was thinking about either how people found their spouses
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: or how people found jobs. And so he decided, you
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: know what, I'm really interested in economic inequality. I'm going
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: to look at how people find jobs. And so he
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: ran an experiment in the suburb of Boston. So some
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: people think about Boston for you know, the tea party
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: or the first dunkin Donuts, both very very important in Boston.
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: But when I think of Boston, I think of the
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: strength of week tizes. And so what he did was
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: he went and interviewed these mid level managers and he
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: was asking them, how did you succeed in find your job?
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: And a lot of them were saying, again, it's nineteen
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: seventy three, nineteen seventy two. You know, it's through people.
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: And he wanted to know what was the strength of
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: that relationship, and what the mid level manager said unequivocally
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: was acquaintances. I found my opportunity through an acquaintance somebody
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: I did not know well. He coined the term strength
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: of weak ties because of the image he had when
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: he was in high school chemistry on how these two
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: hydrogens could be connected by this little oxygen.
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: And so that was the.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: Imagery he used to create the strength of weak ties.
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: And this one little paper that he wrote has been
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: quoted in Google scholar over sixty thousand times. It has
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: been reproven by LinkedIn and Harvard and MIT back in
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: twenty twenty two and the largest data set ever.
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: And the way I became aware.
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: Of the strength of weak ties was in the seminal
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: book by Malcolm Gladwell, The Tipping Point in two thousand,
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: where he talks about the maven, the subject matter expert,
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: the salesperson that sells the ideas, and then the idea
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: of this connector. So the idea of let's connect is
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: also a human being, a connector that actually brings two
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: people together. You know Tony, you should know my friend
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: so and so because you share an interest in Isaac
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: Newton and calculus and so.
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: So being a.
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: Connector is actually an action you can take. Founded in
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: social science, So strength of weak ties. When we talk
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: about weak ties is a really unique opportunity and one
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: of the reasons Tony I joined LinkedIn in two thousand
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: and four. My member number is one hundred and forty
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: two hundred and seventy two. We're one of the first
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: one hundred and fifty thousand. I joined LinkedIn. And the
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: reason I joined LinkedIn I was like, Oh, my gosh,
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: here's the digital application of the strength of weak ties.
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: And that's how I see the platform is the strength
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: of weak ties. So I'm glad you brought that up
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: because I think we forget the why we think technology first.
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: It's like, hold on a second, what's the underlying social
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: science that brings it together.
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: I love it. I love it.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: I'm a science geek to everything that I like to pursue,
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: and that the way I structure the business development body
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: of knowledge that I also wrote during COVID seems like
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: that was a good time to write books, or at
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: least get the books done, is grounded in science, and
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: so I like that so much. And this power of
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: the weak ties is tremendous. Yeah, I'm excited. I got
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: seven thousand week ties on LinkedIn. I'm rolling. Yeah.
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: And so you know, when you talk about those multipliers.
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: I think weak ties because they're not top of mind.
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: It's kind of like, you know, you're talking about level one.
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: You know, identify those week ties. And then secondarily, well,
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: how are you blocking time for your week ties?
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: You know, show me.
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: Your calendar invite, show me your calendar invite where you're
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: taking that reflection, that pause and say, you know what,
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: I'm going to reflect on a week tie and somebody
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: that has done something really important and I want to
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: let them know that. And so secondarily, you know one
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: is even doing the network.
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: Assessment that you're describing in and of itself.
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: The second is we're not blocking time for it.
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: We're not.
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: We're just going through our days and just hoping something happens,
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: when in reality, we can set the intention and we
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: can drive our calendar based on these week tie concepts.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: Okay, so tactic number two is really the time blocking,
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: the dedicating the time to those weak ties. What about
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: these dormant times that you also talk about in the book,
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: because apparently there was a study in twenty eleven written
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: by professors Levin, Walter and Merning Ann And I don't
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: know if professor Levin's any relation to you, but they
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: wrote this title of the study called dormant Tize the
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: Value of Reconnecting. Can you talk a little bit about
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: dormant ties?
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: Sure?
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: Daniel Levin, who's a professor at Rutgers. The only thing
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: we have in common, other than having the same last name,
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: is that he grew up in the DC area and
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: now he's in New Jersey. I grew up in New
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: Jersey and now I'm in the DC area. So of
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: course we talked about important things like bagels and Chinese
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: food and pizza and those kinds of things. But what
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: the three of those professors did was fascinating because what
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: they were looking at was, Okay, what's the value of advice?
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: Is all advice created equal? Or can you actually wait
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: advice depending on the relationships that you have. And so
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: what they did was they took a group of executives
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: and they did the following. They said, you know what, Tony,
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: take a current business problem that you have, let's say,
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: like a sales development challenge or a business problem for
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: one of your clients. Share that business problem with three
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: people you currently know. Take that same business problem and
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: share it with three people that you've lost touch with.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: And the way they defined losing touch in the study
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: was by thirty six months.
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: And so the.
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: Executives go out, they're sharing their business problems.
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: And they're starting.
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: To collect the results of the studies, and the professors
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: were really surprised.
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: The executives were ranking the.
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: People they had lost touch with with better ideas and
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: better advice and better insights. And so they wanted to
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: prove further, how is this possible, Tony, that the people
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: we lose touch with can touch with can make us smarter.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: And what they concluded was, Tony, the people that you
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: lose touch with build new networks. The people you lose
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: touch with go on to have new experiences, new insights.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: And the way I became aware of the concept of
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: the dormant tie the value of reconnecting was several years
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: later when Adam Grant wrote Give and Take, and in
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: Adam Grant's wonderful.
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: Book Give and Take.
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: A huge fan of Adam Grant, he actually wrote in
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: Give and Take that dormantizes go underutilized, dormantize go underutilized.
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: So really another foundational piece of we say keep in touch,
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: we don't and like even in you know Linguafonka, a
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: dormant tie in regular English is alumni, right, And so
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: even in this ivory tower that exists, there are dormantized
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: all around us that were not thinking about somebody that
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: helped us land that promotion, help somebody hand us land
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: that client, people that have cared about us. I think
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: the hardest part, and you're talking about the pandemic, is
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: that the only thing that really just happened was probably
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: life and things just fizzle. So yes, so when you
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: think about your network, it's really a series of quadrants
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: between weak and dormant ties. And so what's really fun
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: about the opportunity And I'm drawing four quadrants it's current strong,
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: current week, dormant strong, dormant week.
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: There's four quadrants. There's four weeks in a month.
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: Imagine if you had a calendar invite week one, current strong,
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: week two, current week, week three, dormant strong, week four,
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: dormant weak. You allow for social science to remind yourself
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: of the people you already know, and there in lies
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: an opportunity. I think we're also missing is the consistency
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: of the relationship between dormant and weak ties.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: Okay, well that sounds like a perfect segue. Then back
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: to tactic number two that you hinted about earlier, is
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: dedicating the time to connect that time blocking to connect
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: with your weak ties and your dormant ties. So I
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: like this idea, this visual of the four quadrants. Is
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: that what you use when you're doing your time blocking
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: and you're trying to pick who should I talk to today?
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: It's you know, in a lot of ways, you know,
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: I think we can feel.
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: Paralyzed by like who do you pick? Right?
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: And I often joke that there's never a day where
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: I'm not ready to thank somebody I love that I'm
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: ready to think, I'm ready to thank and I'm ready
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: to go to infinity and beyond with my stamps. And
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: so you know, oftentimes, you know, sometimes the calendar block
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: in of itself, or sometimes you know, I might be
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: in the pool or working out and be reminded of someone.
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: But you know what I'll do is either you know,
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: using some of my reminder tools, like all right, who
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: could those people be?
• 24:36
  Speaker 4: Right?
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: And so it allows for me to go from this
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: amorphous to you know what, there was that someone who
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: like referred me a couple of years ago, and it
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: was really really helpful, and that person that had referred
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: me just.
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: You know, did something really well.
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: Well well, and so I wanted to remind that person
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: that they have referred me, right, And so the opportunity
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: for weakened dormantize. It's not in the book, but I
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: call it a gratitude tree. And for me, the gratitude
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: tree is quite simple. It's like, well, how did I
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: get this opportunity? Who introduced me? Oh?
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: How do I know that person? Oh?
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: It's because of this and so on and so on,
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: and the more if you stay with this, well, if
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: we're getting opportunities through other people, how can we remind
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: those other people that you're still thinking of them? And
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: so sometimes it is the actual calendar invite, and sometimes
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: it's just something good that happened and then taking the
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: extra step of reflecting on, well, who helped you to
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: that person, and then all of a sudden you start
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: to recognize the leaves, back to the branches, back to
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: the original.
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: Roots.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: So I think I think about gratitude as a tree
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: and leaves and uh, and then actions because of that,
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: So it's like, and that's the other infinity opportunity is
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: through the gratitude tree.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: Wow, Jason, this is great, folks, that's a bonus. It's
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: not in the book, but he just gave it to
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: us here. And and you know, as you were talking
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: about tactic number one, my mind automatically went to where
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: I think probably a lot of business developers do, which
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: is what is my purpose? What is my focus?
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: Why?
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: Why? Who do I need to reach out to or
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: reconnect with in order to be able to achieve a
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: specific purpose or objective in my business function? But you're
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: saying no, that you could do that. Sure, but what
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: you probably should do at least allocate a portion of
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: your day reflecting on those people that helped you along
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: the way in expressing gratitude you showed for the folks
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: that are just listening, you're not watching the video, Jason
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: showed us a copy of his thank you notes that
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: he likes to send people. And so you know, that
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: is just so profound, Jason. You're approaching it from a
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: standpoint of giving gratitude to those people that helped you
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: along the way, And that is so novel but yet
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: so profound as well. And I bet you you get
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: just the fantastic response from people, and it just kind
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: of cascades into hey, well, what are you up to now?
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: And oh boy, but thank you so much for that gratitude.
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: I really appreciate. Let me tell you what I've been doing.
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: Oh hey, you need a connection to so and so up,
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: Happy to do that, happy to help you again?
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: Wow, Because it's the people you already know like and trust,
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: and we know how long it takes to build that
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: level of trust.
• 28:05
  Speaker 4: You know, this is not.
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: About getting back in touch with everybody you've met under
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: the sun. There is a subset of people that at
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: moments in time that you have had a relationship with
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: that you do want to get back in touch with.
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: And within that subset is a wonderful set of opportunity
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: that you don't know what's going to happen, but it's
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: true and authentic because you've had that interaction. And for me,
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: that's the underlying of when we say the word authentic.
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: It's like, well what are the actions. It's like, all right, well,
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: let's think about our gratitude.
• 28:48
  Speaker 4: Trees and.
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: Really act on those things and that's where the joy becomes.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And what I really like, Jason is you're also
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: it's a double whammie, right because you're focusing on the
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: people that helped you somewhere along the way. You're expressing
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: gratitude to them, and what you're essentially doing is that's
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: the acid test for finding your connectors as well. Right,
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: So these are folks that you had deep ties with,
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: they're distant, they were a connector, meaning they were powerful
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: for that network effect to get you to infinity, and
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: by virtue of the fact that they helped you, obviously
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: they're a connector. So you know by default you're really
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: leveraging the power of your network and rekindling that relationship
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: that could potentially lead to other benefits. But I think
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: the key thing, too is to go into that purely
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: from a position of giving gratitude and not expecting anything.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: So I love that tactic number two. I could probably
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: talk about another two hours about the science supporting that,
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: but let's roll right into tactic number three here, Jason.
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: So, so then it's a function of, well, what's your action.
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: And in the book, I talk about the psychological concept
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: of positive reminiscence, and positive reminiscence is used in dementia
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: patients to get them to become more present. And what
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: they're doing is they're either putting a food like a
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: favorite meal in front of them or playing a song
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: or showing them a photo, and so essentially they're using
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: nostalgia to bring that person to become more present. And
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: so it's like, well, hold on a second, because all
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: these people like, you know, okay, great, I get network theory,
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: get the gratitude, but like, what's the what's the you know,
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: what do I put in there? Or what am I right?
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: And it's like, well, what if you were actually to
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: use both personal and professional positive reminiscence. So we were
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: talking about all the alliteration earlier professional positive reminiscence. And
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: one of the greatest things that we all have is
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: the following phrases, I thought of you because I still
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: remember when I thought you because I still remember when.
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: And the cool thing is that text email letter. We
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: don't care how it comes out. We are equally and
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: the social science shows this, we're equally appreciative of how
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: that comes in. So actually, when you think about it,
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: the third tip is your rate of memory, sharing your
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: rate of If you're using nostalgia, that is a wonderful
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: way to reconnect. So Tony, you know you've got homework too, right.
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: Imagine you know there are a couple of people you've
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: been meaning to reach out to, and you start with
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: you know, I thought of you because when we serve together,
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: you did something and you taught me that and that
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: is something that is meaningful to me. So my third
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: tip is use positive reminiscence in your own nostalgia to
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: heal thyself.
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: Wow, folks, there's no doubt that as you reflect upon
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: this podcast and what Jason has told us today, you
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: will have some positive reminiscence. So let's unpack those top
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: three tactics one more time. Tactic number one is conduct
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: your network assessment. Who are your wheak ties, who are
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: your distant dormant ties? And step number two. Tactic number
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: two is engage and reconnect with your distant ties. Who
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: are connectors. Those people who connected you provided some value
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: to you, helped advance your career, gave you powerful insights,
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: served as a mentor whatever the case may be. Send
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: them a letter, send them a note, and thank them
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: from a position of giving gratitude without expecting, not expecting
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: anything in return. And then, finally, when you do engage
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: with them, engage with the from the from the standpoint
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: that you want to deliver professional positive reminiscence those positive memories.
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: Maybe it's a picture of you know, working together three
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: years ago and having a great time. Send that texted
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: to him, say such great memories. Thank you so much
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: for your mentorship. Really appreciated everything you did for me
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: to accomplish X y Z Thank you, Jason. How can
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: folks reach out to you follow your work?
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: They can, you know, feel free to follow me on LinkedIn.
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: My website is readyset, launch dot net. I have a
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: newsletter that gives tactics and tips on keeping in touch.
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: I often joke about everybody as the opportunity to start
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: their own keep in touch party. So either via a readyset,
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: launch dot net you can find me. Also, you can
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: also find the book wherever books are found online, Relationships
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: to Infinity Art and Signs of Keeping in Touch. It's
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: in print, it's in audio, and it's also an ebook.
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: So those are some ways they can interact with me.
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: Well that's fantastic, Jason. I am not going to wait
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: three years to reach out and thank you for joining
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: us today sharing such powerful insights about your book and folks,
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: remember the book is called Relationships to Infinity, not to
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: be confused with the to Infinity and beyond. Catchphrase from
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: there is one of my favorite movies. Jason showing the
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: postage stamps on video. Jason, this has been so fun
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: talking to you, so fascinating talking to you. Thank you
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: for everything that you do for the business development profession.
• 35:17
  Speaker 4: Thank you, Tony keep in touch.
• 35:23
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• 35:27
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• 35:31
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• 35:36
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