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Transcript

How to Heal Emotional Triggers: A Self-Love Coaching Breakdown for Women Starting Over · Bent Not Broken: Starting Over After Divorce | Post Divorce Life

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to another episode of Bent Not Broken.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Heartbreak and trauma may feel like the end of your story, but here it's the beginning of a bold new chapter.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Coach Deborah Griffiths, and this is the space where women rise, rebuild, and rediscover their purpose.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Remember this truth.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: You are bent not broken.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to this Bent Not Broken bonus coaching session.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Coach Deborah, and today we're diving deeper into the powerful wisdom shared in my conversation with Jonathan Asley, a midlife self-love coach whose work has transformed thousands of lives.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Jonathan's story reminds us that the real journey isn't just about healing heartbreak.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's about healing the relationship we have with ourselves.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: So today I'm breaking down the most transformational insights from our interview and giving you some practical coaching tools to help you begin right now to strengthen your self-worth, reconnect with your identity, and create healthier relationships.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get started.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching insight number one.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Jonathan talked about losing everything at once, his marriage, his career, his finances, and then years later losing his son.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: What carried him through wasn't perfection.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: It was emotional scaffolding, therapy, self-help, spiritual work, and a willingness to look inward.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: Here's a coaching exercise.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself, where is my identity cracked, but not broken?
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: What emotional supports do I need to rebuild?
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, where am I avoiding my healing by staying busy?
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Write down three emotional tools you want to strengthen.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Therapy, journaling, meditation, setting boundaries, or speaking your truth.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching insight number two.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Dating from a wounded place leads to patterns, not partnerships.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Jonathan said something profound.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: Most people aren't struggling with dating, they're struggling with self-worth.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: If you look for someone to validate you, you unintentionally hand them the power to hurt you.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching exercise.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Reflect on your past relationships.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Was I hoping someone would fix me or make me feel like I was enough?
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Did I ignore red flags because I wanted to be chosen?
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Or was I dating from loneliness or wholeness?
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Awareness is the first step toward sovereignty.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching insight number three.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Sovereignty is the foundation of a healthy love.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Jonathan used this beautiful metaphor.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Two people in a relationship are like two separate nations, each with their own way of doing things.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Self-love means you don't sacrifice your identity, you don't abandon yourself to keep the peace, but you create agreements, not expectations.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: Here's a coaching exercise.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Write down what sovereignty means to you.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Then list the parts of yourself you've given away in the past.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your voice, your boundaries, your needs, your dreams.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: What will you no longer negotiate?
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching insight number four.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: A self-examined life is the heart of self-love.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Jonathan said something I want you to hold close.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Self-love is not manicures and massages.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's personal responsibility.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's emotional honesty.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's healing the six-year-old that's inside of you.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Triggers aren't weaknesses, they're invitations.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching exercise.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Think about a recent trigger.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: And instead of asking why did they do that, ask, what story is this touching inside of me?
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: What emotion did I feel beneath the reaction?
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: And what does this reveal about what I still need to heal?
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: This is where transformation begins.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching insight number five.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Feeling your feelings is a superpower.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Most of us avoid our emotions with work, distraction, caretaking, or even perfectionism.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Jonathan reminded us that self-love means letting yourself feel, without numbing, without minimizing, or without pushing it down.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching exercise.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Set a timer for five minutes and then sit quietly.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself, what am I feeling right now?
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Don't fix it.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: Don't judge it.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Just acknowledge it.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: This alone can shift your emotional frequency.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching inside number six.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Gratitude and appreciation shift everything.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: One of Jonathan's most beautiful reframes was seeing money as appreciation.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: A flow of energy, not a measure of worth.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: Gratitude reconnects you to abundance.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Scarcity connects you to fear.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Here's a coaching exercise.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Today, every time you spend money or receive money, whisper, thank you for this appreciation.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: I am grateful for this exchange.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Watch how your emotional state starts to change.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching Insight Number seven.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Self-love is a daily practice, not a destination.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Jonathan spends an hour every day nurturing his emotional well-being.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: Not because he's broken, but because he's committed.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: Choose one daily practice to commit to this week.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's a guided meditation, or ten minutes of journaling.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: How about speaking one truth each day?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Or an affirmation you listen to in your own voice?
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: A gratitude walk?
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe a moment of stillness without distractions.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Small practices lead to profound shifts.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Jonathan's message is clear.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot build a healthy relationship with anyone until you build a healthy, loving, sovereign relationship with yourself.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Self-love is that oxygen mask.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Self-awareness is the compass.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: And sovereignty, that's the path forward.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: You are not broken.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: You are just rebuilding.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: And you are worthy of a love that doesn't cost you yourself.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: If today's session resonated with you, share it with someone who is rebuilding after divorce, heartbreak, or emotional abuse.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, your next chapter begins the moment you decide to look inward.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Coach Deborah, and this has been your Bent Not Broken bonus coaching session.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, stay brave, stay gentle, and stay beautifully aligned with your truth.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to today's episode of Bent Not Broken.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that this episode reminded you that even through life's toughest moments, you are bent, not broken.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: If this message inspired you, please share, rate, review, and subscribe, as it helps us reach more women who are ready to rise and rebuild.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, keep living bold and walking in your purpose.