Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap PODCAST: Duff Chub Hands

Transcript

Phone Tap PODCAST: Duff Chub Hands · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This week at the Parlor Live Comedy Club from Sullivan
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: and son Rory Wood Junior, January ninth through the eleventh.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Tickets available at Parlor Live dot com or four two
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: five to eighty nine seven thousands on the twenties five. Hello, Yeah, hey,
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: what's up? Could I speak to Crystal please? This is Krista.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Oh hey, um, this is Duff. Your friend Tory told
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: you i'd be calling, said like I should totally hit
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: you up and maybe we should go out some time. Yeah. Yes,
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: she had, um some really nice things to say about you. Yeah,
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: she was probably talking about like my abs and stuff. Huh.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: But but like I just want to let you know
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: I got more to offer than just fitness. That's good
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: to hear. Yeah, yeah, so like kind of stuff you
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: like to do? Um, you know, I'm happy to do
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: whatever we could. Yeah, like, um, but in my experience,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: just real quick, like a lot of chicks will be like, oh,
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: I'm happy to go wherever, and then you take them
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: to like a WWE match or something, and then they're
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: all like been out of shape. So you know, it's
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: cool if you're honest and like tell me like some
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: kind of chick stuff and we can do that. I
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: don't mind. I'm not above it. Um uh yeah, why
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: do Why don't we? Why don't we do coffee? Yeah?
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: First of all, like too much calories in that for me,
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: because like I try to keep my body pretty tight.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: And then also like any of these should be a
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: bit more creative. Um. I don't know about you, but
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: I do CrossFit, so I strive to be above average.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: You know. It just sounds like you're just like happy
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: being whatever and just being regular medioc ord and so
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: I'm just like asking you to like reach for the
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: stars a bit and come up with like an interesting
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: idea of something to do for me with good company,
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: any activity can be fun. Yeah, that's just something boring
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: people say. So if you could just like not do that,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: that'd be cool. Well that is a really thing to say.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Can I be honest with you real quick? Um, if
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: that hasn't been what you've been doing so far, then
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: I shudder to ask. The reason I didn't want to
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: go get coffee with you is because I used to
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: date a girl with chubb hands, and so like when
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: I would sit there at coffee, I'd have to look
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: at her holding those little cups with a giant midst
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: of hers. You are such an astole. Oh you're getting
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: offended because you've got a set of chubb hands. Huh. Yes,
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: I'm very sensitive about my chubby hands. I'm gonna go
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: cry about it all night. You're gonna put like your
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: head in the palm of your giganto hands, like cry
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: into your wrists. Do women actually go out with you
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: after you speak to them like that? Oh, dude, you
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: should see the chicks that go out with me, Like,
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: I'm sure they're all very hot and they all have
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: washed for it apps and that's their best quality. Yeah,
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: they're totally cool. So, like, you know, you could be
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: one of those if you wanted to, I could put
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: you on the team. On the team is just like
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: a harem. Yeah, that was like a I don't even
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: know what a harem is. What is that? Oh? My god?
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Are we done? Because I have a really important phone
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: call to make. What I call Tory and ask her
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: why she thinks that I should date someone with the
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: IQ of a patito. Yeah, but before you call her,
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: I should totally let you know that this is actually
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Jubil from Brook and Jubil in the morning. I'm moving
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: ninety two point five doing a phone tap on you.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Who is this jubil from Moving
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: ninety two point five. It's a joke. Oh my god,
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: your friend, your friend Tory set you up. You could
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: have totally scored a date two if you don't have
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: those chunk hands, like yeah, oh my god, a Tory
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: with you right now, I would just her in the
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: face of my giant monster chunk hand. Wake up every
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: morning with jubal foone taps weekday mornings on the twenties,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: Holy On removing ninety two point five. Let's rain