Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 614: NEVER, Ever Get Back With Your Ex, Until You Do THIS!

Transcript

Episode 614: NEVER, Ever Get Back With Your Ex, Until You Do THIS! · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:00
  Hi, this is Lucia with The Art of Love.
• 0:02
  I'm a dating and relationship expert specializing and helping
• 0:05
  you get your ex back or to get over your ex.
• 0:08
  The topic for this week's video is never, ever get back with
• 0:14
  your ex until you do this. When people have been broken up
• 0:20
  with all they want to do is hear their ex say that they want them
• 0:24
  back. But most people don't realize
• 0:26
  that is just the first step. There's something else you must
• 0:31
  do when your ex says they want you back.
• 0:35
  And if you don't do it, the chances of the relationship
• 0:38
  falling apart again go up. What is it?
• 0:41
  Well, stay tuned and you'll find out.
• 0:43
  But first, I want to welcome back my beautiful no contact
• 0:46
  army. If you have downloaded my app,
• 0:48
  Solencio, on either iPhone or Android, I beg of you.
• 0:52
  Literally, please leave either a review or a rating.
• 0:58
  I would really appreciate it. Thank you.
• 1:00
  And if you two would let you join our army, all you have to
• 1:03
  do is hit the subscribe button and the bell notification and
• 1:06
  you're in. And to read our manual, go to
• 1:08
  nocontactsecrets.com where you can read two free chapters
• 1:12
  before you purchase the book. Okay.
• 1:15
  So I have a comment here from a woman who did not get back with
• 1:19
  her ex correctly and of course she paid the price.
• 1:24
  She says he cheated on me and then broke up with me.
• 1:29
  Well that is one of the worst things that can happen in a
• 1:32
  relationship. To 1st get cheated on and then
• 1:35
  to add insult to injury they break up with you.
• 1:38
  You don't even get to break up with them, they break up with
• 1:41
  you. I begged him to reconcile that
• 1:44
  he refused and that is one of the most low value things that
• 1:48
  you can do. Someone cheats on you, breaks up
• 1:53
  with you, and you still want them back.
• 1:55
  And not only do you want them back, but you're begging for
• 1:58
  them back. I mean, you must be a glutton
• 2:00
  for punishment. He continued his relationship
• 2:04
  with the other girl while we were still in contact and she
• 2:08
  stayed in contact on top of that.
• 2:10
  So you're just you're just making things worse with every
• 2:16
  step you take, every breath you take.
• 2:20
  Anyways, months later, he broke up with the other girl.
• 2:24
  He told me to try and work things out, but to take it slow.
• 2:28
  What does that even mean, to take it slow?
• 2:30
  That's BS. People always say that Okay.
• 2:32
  Well, we'll take it slow, you know, unless you fix what's
• 2:35
  broken, the passage of time means nothing.
• 2:39
  Even if you go slow, which most people don't even adhere to that
• 2:43
  they don't even go slow until you work on yourself and learn
• 2:46
  to respect yourself and not behave this way.
• 2:48
  When someone cheats on you and then then breaks up on you and
• 2:52
  until he figures out why he cheated and why he broke up with
• 2:55
  you, then it doesn't matter if you take it slow, you're still
• 2:58
  going to have problems. So then she says since I love
• 3:02
  him, I gave him to his offer. No no no, no, no, no, no no no.
• 3:07
  Since you don't love yourself, since you have low self esteem,
• 3:14
  don't respect yourself, low concept and probably anxious
• 3:17
  attachment style. Throw in some oxytocin bonding
• 3:21
  hormone in there and this is what we have.
• 3:25
  You're willing to take him back, no questions asked, and then she
• 3:30
  goes on to say however, this setup gives me a lot of pain.
• 3:33
  It ends in arguments and fights. Well of course it did because
• 3:37
  you did not get back with him correctly and I'm about to
• 3:40
  explain the correct way to get back with someone.
• 3:42
  This is what happens. You don't trust him and nor
• 3:44
  should you. Nothing was fixed.
• 3:46
  So of course you're going to end up fighting and arguing.
• 3:51
  He admits he still thinks about his ex.
• 3:54
  What the kind of guy is this? Why would he even tell you that?
• 3:59
  Why would he say, Oh yes, I'm still thinking about her.
• 4:01
  Like, what is he trying? Is he a sadist?
• 4:04
  Because why? Even though he keeps saying he
• 4:07
  doesn't love her anymore, I don't believe him.
• 4:09
  Well, obviously, and nor should you.
• 4:12
  I don't love her, but I always think about her.
• 4:14
  Sure, he said he tried to revive his feelings for me, but
• 4:19
  admitted that for now, it's just a friendship.
• 4:22
  He can't have feelings for you because he doesn't respect you.
• 4:26
  Because you don't respect yourself.
• 4:28
  You cannot have love without respect.
• 4:31
  And you showed him that you don't respect yourself and how
• 4:33
  you conducted yourself when he cheated and then broke up with
• 4:37
  you. So I decided to go.
• 4:39
  No contact. Oh, now you go.
• 4:41
  No contact. He still contacts me and insists
• 4:45
  on being friends, but I refused. Well, thank God for that.
• 4:50
  What stage do you think my ex is in now?
• 4:52
  That's the question. That's what you want to know
• 4:56
  what stage he's in? After all that, that's your
• 4:59
  question. You know what?
• 5:01
  He's in the stage of not being interested because he doesn't
• 5:04
  respect you. Like I said, okay.
• 5:06
  And by the way, if you are finding this helpful and maybe
• 5:09
  even entertaining, if you can please give this video a like
• 5:13
  that way other people will find it and then they too will be
• 5:17
  entertained and enlightened. Okay.
• 5:21
  So the big mistake here that she made was that she took him back
• 5:28
  way, way, way too easily. People are just so happy to get
• 5:32
  their ex back. Oh he's back.
• 5:36
  No he's not. Because there's arguing and
• 5:40
  fighting and pain and what should she have done?
• 5:43
  She needed to ask him six questions.
• 5:48
  I've already done the video about what the six questions
• 5:50
  are. I'll put the link in the upper
• 5:52
  right hand corner. I'm going to briefly go over
• 5:55
  them. But one thing she definitely
• 5:57
  needed to do, what she did not do was ask him.
• 6:00
  How are you going to make it up to me?
• 6:02
  You don't just say, sure, come on back, come on in.
• 6:06
  No, no, no. How are you going to make this
• 6:09
  up to me? And it's up to you to decide.
• 6:11
  And if he wants to do it, then you'll consider taking him back.
• 6:15
  But if he doesn't want to do whatever you ask of him, then
• 6:17
  there's no point in getting back together.
• 6:19
  Some people, they make the person write like 1000 word
• 6:22
  essay. People hate writing essays.
• 6:24
  Remember, I hated writing essays in school, right?
• 6:28
  So if they don't want to write an essay, then how serious are
• 6:33
  they about getting back together?
• 6:34
  When someone realized they made a mistake and they want you
• 6:36
  back, they'll do anything. Okay.
• 6:39
  I see that with my clients. And I just did a video on the
• 6:42
  guy who waited two years and two months to get the girl back.
• 6:47
  All right, so if someone wants you back and you say, how are
• 6:50
  you going to make this up up to me?
• 6:51
  And you decide what the consequence is and they don't
• 6:55
  want to do it, then I don't know.
• 6:58
  Do they really want to get back with you?
• 7:00
  And you also need to ask them, why do you want me back?
• 7:03
  Why should I give you another chance?
• 7:04
  Why did you change your mind? Why should I trust you?
• 7:07
  What's going to be different, right?
• 7:09
  And by asking these questions, you're also showing that you are
• 7:13
  high value, that you're not going to just take someone back,
• 7:16
  that you're not that desperate to take them back because you
• 7:21
  want to make sure that this doesn't happen again.
• 7:24
  That's another reason to ask these questions.
• 7:26
  You want to get the Intel because you don't want to be
• 7:29
  broken up with yet again by the same person.
• 7:32
  Because if you thought it was hard to go through at the first
• 7:34
  time, imagine the second time. I mean, look at it this way,
• 7:39
  when there's an airline crash, the FAA here in the US, they
• 7:45
  investigate every single crash to find out what happened so
• 7:50
  that it doesn't happen again and everyone is safe right now.
• 7:54
  Imagine if they didn't do that. Imagine if they just said, oh, I
• 7:59
  don't know, the plane crashed, fell out of the sky.
• 8:02
  Well, it's whatever. It's all right.
• 8:04
  Well, you know, we're just glad everyone survived and have a
• 8:07
  good day and happy flying. Like, how likely are you to
• 8:13
  trust getting on an airplane if the crashes were never
• 8:16
  investigated? It's like we don't know why.
• 8:18
  Crash. Black box.
• 8:19
  What's a black box? We don't.
• 8:21
  I don't know. Nothing but no black box.
• 8:24
  Same thing with your relationship.
• 8:26
  Isn't it just as important as a plane and a plane crash?
• 8:30
  To you, at least. So you want to know what
• 8:32
  happened and you want to take steps to ensure that it does not
• 8:36
  happen again. And a friend of mine, not a
• 8:39
  friend of mine, a client, she recently got her ex back and she
• 8:45
  actually broke no contact, and she paid the price and she
• 8:48
  learned from it and she was beating herself for doing it,
• 8:51
  beating herself up for doing it. And then finally, on the second
• 8:55
  round of no contact, six months later, he contacts her.
• 8:59
  He wants to get back together and she wrote me as I have a
• 9:01
  success story, blah blah blah. And I said to her, that's great,
• 9:04
  but please tell me you asked him the six questions and I didn't
• 9:09
  hear back from her. So that other means that she
• 9:11
  didn't want to respond or she didn't ask him.
• 9:17
  So we'll see what happens. I'm expecting an e-mail from her
• 9:22
  at some point maybe, and where she'll be like you were right.
• 9:25
  I should have asked the six questions.
• 9:27
  We're broken up again. Oh, well, that's what happens.
• 9:30
  Okay. So I want everyone listening to
• 9:33
  this to take a pledge that when their ex wants them back,
• 9:39
  they're not just going to take them back right away.
• 9:41
  They are going to ask them the six questions and they're going
• 9:44
  to make sure that the person pays the price.
• 9:47
  So comment below and let me know, are you going to do that?
• 9:51
  Yes or no? And if not, why not?
• 9:54
  And can you think of any other questions that should be asked
• 9:59
  when you take an X back? And in the meantime, if you
• 10:03
  would like my help to get your X back, you can contact me at
• 10:07
  theartoflove.net and we will send you the rates.
• 10:09
  The direct link is below. If you found this video helpful,
• 10:12
  please like, subscribe and share.
• 10:15
  If you're listening to this as a podcast, please rate and review.
• 10:18
  And finally, remember that love inspires, empowers, uplifts and
• 10:22
  enlightens.