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The Reality of Grief and Managing Their Estate · She's On The Money

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  Speaker 1: My name is Aatasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations
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  Speaker 1: woman and I'm here to acknowledge country t Glenn Young
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  Speaker 1: Ganya Niana Kaka yah y and beIN ah Waka Nian
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  Speaker 1: our gay In Nimbina, yakarum jar Dominyama, Domaga Ithawakaman damon
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  Speaker 1: Imlan bomber bang Gadabomba in and now in wakah ghana
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  Speaker 1: on yak rum jar Watnadaa. Hello, beautiful friends, we gather
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  Speaker 1: on the lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank acknowledge
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  Speaker 1: and respect the Abiginal people's land that we're gathering on today.
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  Speaker 1: Take pleasure in all the land and respect all that
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  Speaker 1: you see. She's on the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country,
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  Speaker 1: community and connections, bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources
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  Speaker 1: for you to thrive.
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  Speaker 2: She's on the Money.
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  Speaker 3: She's on the Money.
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  Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
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  Speaker 4: that lets you be pervy about other people's money habits
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  Speaker 4: for educational purposes, of course. Welcome back to another one
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  Speaker 4: of our money daries, where I get the absolute privilege
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  Speaker 4: of sitting down and having a good chat with one
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  Speaker 4: of our She's on the Money. Community members, Let's jump
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  Speaker 4: straight into it, because this week I got a message
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  Speaker 4: and it sounded exactly like this, Dear, she's on the money.
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  Speaker 4: My story is one of painful grief combined with postpartum
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  Speaker 4: and navigating it all while trying to be an executor
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  Speaker 4: of my dad's estate with a co executor who does
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  Speaker 4: not have the best of intentions. It's been the year
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  Speaker 4: of big lows and highs. With my dad passing away
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  Speaker 4: just a week before my son was born, we had
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  Speaker 4: to navigate funeral expenses and now finalize his estate, including
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  Speaker 4: managing all of his bills and debts and selling my
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  Speaker 4: family home to pay for it all. My mum also
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  Speaker 4: passed when I was only twenty six. All of this
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  Speaker 4: has happened with a new baby, our own mortgage and
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  Speaker 4: mortgage and finances to navigate with a send link parental
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  Speaker 4: leave pay kicking it into boot. It still feels as
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  Speaker 4: though I haven't even been able to properly grieve as
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  Speaker 4: I desperately am trying to work my way through all
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  Speaker 4: of the administrative burden of it all. Money Diarist, this
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  Speaker 4: is awful. I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. Yeah,
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  Speaker 4: that sounded even more awful when you read it back
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  Speaker 4: to me, when you put it down on paper, it
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  Speaker 4: just like kind of kicks you in the guts, doesn't it.
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  Speaker 4: I'm sorry.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's been such a wild at least five years actually,
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  Speaker 5: probably since my mum got sick.
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  Speaker 4: I was about to say, like with your mom passing,
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  Speaker 4: I feel like that it's just like a rollercoaster from then,
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  Speaker 4: because like I feel like a postpartum and before you
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  Speaker 4: did mention that you have a three year old, You've
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  Speaker 4: just been going through it girl.
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  Speaker 2: I know.
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  Speaker 5: And I remember thinking back like just before we got engaged,
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  Speaker 5: so just before my mum actually got sick, and being like.
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  Speaker 2: Wow, our life is just like how lucky are we
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  Speaker 2: with so like we're in Hawaii.
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  Speaker 5: We got engaged, like everything felt perfect, and then she
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  Speaker 5: was diagnosed probably I think six months later or twelve
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  Speaker 5: months later, and then from then it was sort of yeah,
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  Speaker 5: it just never really got off the really wild rollercoaster.
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  Speaker 4: No, it just kept going. I'm so sorry. All right,
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  Speaker 4: I'm going to ask the first question before we get
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  Speaker 4: into it. If I asked you to give yourself a
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  Speaker 4: money grade, what money grade would you give yourself from
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  Speaker 4: A through to F.
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  Speaker 5: I was thinking well before postpartum. I think I was
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  Speaker 5: a B minus probably navigating life. Right now, I'm sitting
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  Speaker 5: on a solid C.
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  Speaker 4: I would think that right now, navigating all of this,
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  Speaker 4: you're solid A like to get through all you just
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  Speaker 4: got to have your shit together. I'm sorry, like you
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  Speaker 4: might not feel that way, but like it's a lot.
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  Speaker 5: Yes, yes, the administrative burden of it all is just huge,
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  Speaker 5: Like it's low.
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  Speaker 4: It's a hectic. So let's rewind a little bit. I
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  Speaker 4: want to know about your money story, but I actually
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  Speaker 4: want to know about your mum. You said she when
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  Speaker 4: you were only twenty six, and before that you were
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  Speaker 4: like in Hawaii celebrating life, and then she got diagnosed
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  Speaker 4: I'm assuming with a form of cancer. Talk to me,
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  Speaker 4: what happened? Who was your mum?
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  Speaker 5: So she was just amazing and yeah, it's lovely to
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  Speaker 5: speak about her because you don't get to all that often,
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  Speaker 5: especially when they've passed. I guess more than five years ago.
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  Speaker 5: They talk about grief in like stages and past five
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  Speaker 5: years people kind of stopped saying their names.
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  Speaker 2: So thank you.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, she was still working, so she was only early
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  Speaker 5: sixties at this point. She was a teacher, aide for
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  Speaker 5: special needs kids. So she was always so.
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  Speaker 4: She was a special human as well. Stop it.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, she was always and mum and dad both were
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  Speaker 5: like low income earners, you know. She stayed home with
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  Speaker 5: me until we went to school and then she got
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  Speaker 5: a job at my school sort of thing. So we
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  Speaker 5: just pretty much spent all our time together until I
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  Speaker 5: was of I guess a young adult and moved out
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  Speaker 5: of home after UNI. So, yeah, she unfortunately got diagnosed
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  Speaker 5: with cancer while still working in her early sixties.
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  Speaker 2: She had bow cancer.
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  Speaker 4: Oh and that one's an awful one. I mean they're
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  Speaker 4: all awful, but that's that's awful.
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  Speaker 5: And it was it was quite quick in terms of like,
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  Speaker 5: you know, her she'd done the bow screening, it had
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  Speaker 5: actually come back okay, and where it was positioned, it
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  Speaker 5: just was extremely aggressive and difficult to operate on, hard
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  Speaker 5: to treat, you know, they tried chemo radio.
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  Speaker 2: It was.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, just such a roller coaster until she pretty much
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  Speaker 5: she passed away actually a week after our wedding.
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  Speaker 4: Oh mom, but thanks for holding on. Literally. Yeah, So
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  Speaker 4: she was just so so strong. That woman had a mission.
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  Speaker 4: She was like, God, we're going to make the wedding.
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  Speaker 2: We're going to make it.
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  Speaker 5: So that was about I think it was eighteen months
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  Speaker 5: after she was originally diagnosed, and she pretty much it
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  Speaker 5: got to the May June of that year. Our wedding
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  Speaker 5: was in the November. This was the year of COVID actually,
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  Speaker 5: so twenty.
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  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, yeah, that's you know what. I'm sorry, Like
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  Speaker 4: shout out to your mom for going through all of
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  Speaker 4: that junk while going through COVID as well, because like
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  Speaker 4: going to appointments and having all of those additional restrictions,
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  Speaker 4: like that's not fair.
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  Speaker 5: I still remember, like the Easter of that year was
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  Speaker 5: the Easter. I know you're in Melbourne, so I know
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  Speaker 5: you had it rougher than I and here in Queensland with.
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  Speaker 4: What you're telling me right now, I definitely didn't have
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  Speaker 4: it rough for babe. I was just stuck at home.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, that's true.
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  Speaker 5: So I remember it was the Easter of that year
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  Speaker 5: and you like you couldn't even gather to celebrate Easter
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  Speaker 5: like it was that and like that always made me
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  Speaker 5: a bit sad. Like we tried to, we all did
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  Speaker 5: our best, did your best, but you couldn't, like the
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  Speaker 5: restrictions were wild. So that was a bit sad that
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  Speaker 5: that happened in her last year. But yeah, we sort
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  Speaker 5: of got to the May June and she pretty much
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  Speaker 5: deteriorated from there, but really did hold on. I remember
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  Speaker 5: at my hen's party, she like was determined to make
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  Speaker 5: it and she did. She sat there and watched the
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  Speaker 5: stripper that my friends organized, Thanks Mum, literally is so hilarious.
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  Speaker 5: But yeah, so she made it. And then at my wedding,
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  Speaker 5: she was really sick. She'd sort of entered palliative care
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  Speaker 5: the week before, but she she made it, and for
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  Speaker 5: the ceremony at least she we got her accommodation on
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  Speaker 5: the site and one of her best friends came and
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  Speaker 5: stayed with her so she was able to come to
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  Speaker 5: the ceremony. We got some really amazing photos, which was yeah, perfect.
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  Speaker 4: Really cool to keep.
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  Speaker 5: And then yeah, so that's where, Yeah, it was a
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  Speaker 5: crazy journey for that period, and here we are again
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  Speaker 5: sort of in a comparatively crazy period.
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  Speaker 4: That is a joke, Like I'm not trying to make
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  Speaker 4: light of this. That's just honestly the biggest piece of bullshit, Like,
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  Speaker 4: imagine going through all of that, and then later you're like, cool,
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  Speaker 4: I'm gonna have another baby, Like this is you know,
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  Speaker 4: really exciting, and then something's happening with your dad. So oh,
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  Speaker 4: sounds like Mum was a trooper. Like, sounds like Mum
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  Speaker 4: was icon Like anyone who works as a teacher's age,
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  Speaker 4: you just know they're a good egg, Like you just
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  Speaker 4: know that they care. And like the fact that she's like, girl,
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  Speaker 4: we're making the strippers, like we're going, We're gonna be
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  Speaker 4: there for that. Like you just know she was a
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  Speaker 4: good mom, right, she was.
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  Speaker 2: She was the best.
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  Speaker 4: So tell me about your dad.
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  Speaker 2: So dad, they were both equally.
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  Speaker 5: Actually, I was at a mother's group the other day
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  Speaker 5: and we got asked the question of like what do
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  Speaker 5: you want to pass on to your children? And I
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  Speaker 5: spoke about how I felt like Mum and Dad collectively
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  Speaker 5: were like just both so amazing, but they were both
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  Speaker 5: so different. So Mom was a really really nurturing, loving,
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  Speaker 5: you know, there for everything, just most amazing mom. Like
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  Speaker 5: when I was twenty two and still going to stay
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  Speaker 5: at their house, she would like heat up the bed
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  Speaker 5: and put my pajamas under the pillow sort of thing.
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  Speaker 4: Oh, she was perfect.
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  Speaker 5: She was literally all the way till the end, like
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  Speaker 5: it was crazy. And then Dad was like charismatic like
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  Speaker 5: super hilarious, you know, like the joker everyone commented at
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  Speaker 5: is of just how hilarious he was. So like, together,
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  Speaker 5: they were just such an amazing little team. So I'm
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  Speaker 5: very grateful for that. I wish I had longer with them,
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  Speaker 5: but yeah, they were the best while we got them
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  Speaker 5: here on earth.
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  Speaker 4: That sounds so traumatic, but also they just sound like
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  Speaker 4: such beautiful people, Like they just sound like like, I
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  Speaker 4: hope that one day my kids speak about me in
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  Speaker 4: the same way that you're speaking about your parents, Like
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  Speaker 4: how pretty is that? Like that's just so good, right,
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  Speaker 4: Like I hope that Harvey is one day like oh
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  Speaker 4: my mom, Like that would be that I would have
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  Speaker 4: made it.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, definitely, And even just like the people that said
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  Speaker 5: stuff to me at both of their funerals, like some
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  Speaker 5: of Mum's students said, you know, at some points in
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  Speaker 5: their lives, she was the only person they felt like
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  Speaker 5: was there for them or who they could fully speak to.
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  Speaker 5: And like similarly, like friends that I'd grown up with
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  Speaker 5: and I hadn't spoken to for years were like, oh
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  Speaker 5: my god, your dad was just like the best dad ever,
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  Speaker 5: Like you're so lucky sort of thing. So yeah, it
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  Speaker 5: was lovely to when people are able to say that
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  Speaker 5: to you and you're a you get that opportunity to
• 10:01
  Speaker 5: speak about them.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's so nice, So talk to me. What happened
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  Speaker 4: with your dad?
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  Speaker 5: So then dad, he was actually doing really well. He
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  Speaker 5: hadn't had the best health during his life, but in
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  Speaker 5: the last probably since my daughter was born in twenty
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  Speaker 5: twenty two, he was doing really well. But on so
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  Speaker 5: you're not going to probably believe this, but on her
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  Speaker 5: first birthday, he was picking up her birthday cake and
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  Speaker 5: I was calling his phone because it was a little
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  Speaker 5: bit delayed, and then a random man answers and says,
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  Speaker 5: I think your dad's having a stroke.
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  Speaker 2: Of course, God, I know.
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  Speaker 5: I was in the park, it was starting to pour
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  Speaker 5: rain and I was holding like soft play that I
• 10:40
  Speaker 5: needed to set up for the party.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, because it's a first birthday. Like those are completely
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  Speaker 4: opposite scenarios.
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  Speaker 5: Oh so then I raced to obviously where he was.
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  Speaker 5: By that time, the ambulance had already taken him because
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  Speaker 5: he was having a severe stroke. Oh no, yeah, so
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  Speaker 5: the birthday cake was still strapped in the back of
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  Speaker 5: his car.
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  Speaker 4: Of course, it was He's like, I would just let
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: me deal with this. I'd just strap this in. Oh
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  Speaker 4: there's something going on with me. I know.
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  Speaker 5: It was literally in a seat belt and he'd, luckily
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  Speaker 5: he'd stop to get the newspaper. Who knows why, because
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  Speaker 5: he was on his way to the party.
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  Speaker 4: Because he's a dad, he's a stereotypical day he's got
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  Speaker 4: it needs a paper. What if it was boring soft
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  Speaker 4: plays not for adults.
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  Speaker 2: Well that's the thing.
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  Speaker 5: So but thank god he got that newspaper because he
• 11:23
  Speaker 5: could have been on the road when it happened. He
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  Speaker 5: was luckily returning from the shop and kind of collapsed
• 11:29
  Speaker 5: into his car and.
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  Speaker 4: There was somebody there to pick up his phone. My god.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, So he survived that, but it was like a
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  Speaker 5: very close call, like it was a severe stroke and
• 11:40
  Speaker 5: they had to operate immediately sort of thing to remove
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  Speaker 5: the clot But then he was never the same unfortunately
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  Speaker 5: after that. So then we had about a year with him,
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  Speaker 5: oh was it a year? About another eighteen months pretty
• 11:52
  Speaker 5: much of navigating who he was then and his life.
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  Speaker 5: He spent about four months in rehab after that, so
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  Speaker 5: he could walk and he could mostly use his arm,
• 12:02
  Speaker 5: although he had to relearn all the fine motor skills
• 12:04
  Speaker 5: and things like that.
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  Speaker 4: But then yeah, and I'm assuming he probably couldn't talk
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  Speaker 4: if that's how severe it was.
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  Speaker 5: He could, but it's sort of changed who he was.
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  Speaker 5: So what I was sort of talking about how funny,
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  Speaker 5: and he pretty much lost that part of him.
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  Speaker 4: His personality.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, he really became a different person.
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  Speaker 5: So it was really difficult to navigate with that as well,
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  Speaker 5: like learning who he was then he was a different
• 12:29
  Speaker 5: like before.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, because it does change you, like it changes your brain,
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: it changes literally everything. And it's scary as well, like
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: for you going through this as well, Yes, awful awful
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  Speaker 4: for him, but like as his daughter, to watch your
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: dad become somebody that's arguably unrecognizable is terrifying. Like it
• 12:47
  Speaker 4: is so scary, like you, just like I don't know
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  Speaker 4: this person. I don't know how they're reacting. And a
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: lot of the time when these things happen, they're not
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: Oh he's just different. It's usually partnered with things like
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: aggression and yes, things that wouldn't make a lot of
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: sense for them to say that feel uncomfortable, and I
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: think that that's really confronting. Yeah, yeah, definitely the uncomfortable
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  Speaker 4: because he was always a joker, so he tried to
• 13:13
  Speaker 4: keep that because like, deep down here, that's who he was.
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: He knows who he is. It's just not how he
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: can show up.
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  Speaker 2: It was.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, so it was, yeah, so tricky to navigate because
• 13:23
  Speaker 5: before that, he like I used to work from home
• 13:25
  Speaker 5: one day a week. I would set up like the
• 13:27
  Speaker 5: playroom and he would come and look after my daughter
• 13:30
  Speaker 5: while I worked from home. Like it was like two worlds.
• 13:34
  Speaker 5: That day, on her first birthday, everything changed again. So
• 13:38
  Speaker 5: I'm so glad we got that year because my daughter
• 13:41
  Speaker 5: has such beautiful memories and she's such a little old
• 13:44
  Speaker 5: soul that she says things now about my son, like
• 13:47
  Speaker 5: he can't how come he never got to have a
• 13:49
  Speaker 5: picture with Poppy, Like she knows. We've talked about it,
• 13:54
  Speaker 5: but it is still a tricky concept to navigate with
• 13:57
  Speaker 5: a three year old.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: And yeah, but.
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: That's so sweet. She remembers, like she's so little and
• 14:03
  Speaker 4: still gets it, Like how cool is that?
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: I know?
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  Speaker 5: And she everything of hers that he's bought her. I
• 14:09
  Speaker 5: always try and say, like, oh, Poppy got you that.
• 14:11
  Speaker 5: We'll have a conversation about it. She's like, Poppy got
• 14:14
  Speaker 5: me this, and like it's like she loves it even
• 14:16
  Speaker 5: more which is so special.
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: She's so sweet. She's also like I know what this
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: means to me. How sweet?
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And then fast forward, you said you got another
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: eighteen months with dad and you were pregnant. Did you
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: see this coming?
• 14:31
  Speaker 5: No, Well, he was unwell and the GP had sort
• 14:35
  Speaker 5: of a few times been like go to emergency and
• 14:37
  Speaker 5: get your heart checked, like I guess health as well
• 14:40
  Speaker 5: as like a stroke, you know, it does does deteriorate
• 14:44
  Speaker 5: overall for a person after something so severe, and obviously
• 14:47
  Speaker 5: his mental health wasn't great after this, But no, it
• 14:51
  Speaker 5: was completely I was thirty eight weeks pregnant maybe on
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: the dot or almost thirty eight weeks pregnant, And yeah,
• 15:00
  Speaker 5: my brother called me that morning and it was completely random,
• 15:04
  Speaker 5: just out of the blue. Like we didn't get an
• 15:07
  Speaker 5: autopsy because the paramedic asked me if I wanted that,
• 15:11
  Speaker 5: and my auntie, who was pretty much his best friend,
• 15:14
  Speaker 5: we sort of agreed that we didn't need to put
• 15:16
  Speaker 5: him through law. He was very unhealthy at that point,
• 15:20
  Speaker 5: so his doctor was able to say, you know, like
• 15:23
  Speaker 5: it could have been one of many things, but it
• 15:25
  Speaker 5: was still as much as it was almost like a
• 15:29
  Speaker 5: relief that he was out of the pain that he
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: went through in the previous eighteen months.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: It was still a big shock.
• 15:36
  Speaker 5: And I think I've had two different grief periods, Like
• 15:40
  Speaker 5: I've had the you know it's coming kind of thing.
• 15:42
  Speaker 5: I actually thought, like we bought a house, we were
• 15:45
  Speaker 5: planning to well, I was trying to get him sorted
• 15:48
  Speaker 5: to build a granny flat here so he could have
• 15:50
  Speaker 5: money in the bank and just because he was struggling
• 15:53
  Speaker 5: on the pension and all of those things.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: But we never quite got there.
• 15:56
  Speaker 4: So, yeah, he sounds so sweet too, sound like your mum.
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: You explained your mum, and then just the way that
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: you're like speaking about your dad, I'm like, oh, hey,
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: the appul has not fallen that far from the tree.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: So tell me what that's like, because like, you get
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: a call from my brother your dad's passed away. That's horrific.
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: But you're thirty eight weeks pregnant, and that's meant to
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: be a joyous period of life, right, that's meant to
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: be like a period that you're just so excited. How
• 16:23
  Speaker 4: do you navigate that?
• 16:24
  Speaker 5: We were actually like, luckily we were at my niece's
• 16:27
  Speaker 5: birthday because my daughter, like obviously with children, you like,
• 16:32
  Speaker 5: I try and be open with it, but you try
• 16:34
  Speaker 5: and mask some of the intenseness of emotions, like you
• 16:37
  Speaker 5: can't be trying to protect them. You do, and but
• 16:40
  Speaker 5: obviously my reaction immediately to that phone call was like
• 16:44
  Speaker 5: what she'd never seen before. So then I had to
• 16:46
  Speaker 5: quickly like rein it back in to tell her that
• 16:48
  Speaker 5: Mummy needed to go for a minute.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: And luckily she was with her cousins and her nanny.
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: So she could, so she was like, yeah, pop off, Mom,
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: I love being here. Yeah.
• 16:56
  Speaker 5: So she was half like that, I saw you really
• 16:58
  Speaker 5: sad and I want to stay with you, but also
• 17:00
  Speaker 5: I really like my cousins and I'm happy to stay here.
• 17:03
  Speaker 5: So that was sort of a blessing and a curse.
• 17:05
  Speaker 5: So she was there, and then we went to mum
• 17:08
  Speaker 5: and Dad's house and I was sort of out the
• 17:10
  Speaker 5: front because Moum did pass away also in the family home,
• 17:14
  Speaker 5: and I was just refusing to go in, and the
• 17:16
  Speaker 5: paramedic had to come out and be like.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: We need you.
• 17:19
  Speaker 5: You were thirty eight weeks pregnant and this was in February,
• 17:21
  Speaker 5: so like the hottest part of the Queensland summer.
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and it was hot.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: Yuck.
• 17:26
  Speaker 5: No thanks, I'm just out the front because I was like,
• 17:29
  Speaker 5: I can't go.
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: In, just hanging out in the heat, because you're like,
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: I can't do this again.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: I can't do it again.
• 17:34
  Speaker 5: So eventually they moved him back to his bed so
• 17:38
  Speaker 5: he was comfortable, and like, I never went down that
• 17:41
  Speaker 5: end of the house.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: I just sort of went outside.
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: Maybe you could come in the house and maybe not
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: be absolutely straining yourself in the heat.
• 17:47
  Speaker 5: Yes, So we just went and sat there until all
• 17:51
  Speaker 5: the logistics of that part of it was sorted. And yeah,
• 17:54
  Speaker 5: I guess after that came the whirlwind of quickly planning
• 17:59
  Speaker 5: a funeral. Came before I was forty weeks pregnant and
• 18:03
  Speaker 5: having a baby.
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: So you had I'm assuming the funeral the week after
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: or so, is that right? Yeah?
• 18:09
  Speaker 5: I literally quickly planned it, and luckily my Auntie is
• 18:12
  Speaker 5: just amazing, so she helped us with the financial side
• 18:15
  Speaker 5: of things to be settled upon the estate settlement, so
• 18:18
  Speaker 5: we could just quickly go ahead and organize something, which
• 18:22
  Speaker 5: literally happened the week after. And because I'm a lunatic,
• 18:25
  Speaker 5: because for Mom's funeral, I did the eulogy, the video,
• 18:28
  Speaker 5: the booklet, like everything.
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, of course you did, see you are your mom's daughter.
• 18:34
  Speaker 5: And so I was determined to do it again, even
• 18:37
  Speaker 5: though like I knew I should it, and I knew
• 18:39
  Speaker 5: I didn't have the capacity, but I was like, but
• 18:40
  Speaker 5: I did it for mum, so I wanted to do
• 18:42
  Speaker 5: it for dad.
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: And I bet you don't regret that, though, I bet
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: you're like, no, I'm glad I.
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: Did no, And I love the video.
• 18:48
  Speaker 5: And you know, every time I go to a family
• 18:50
  Speaker 5: member's house and they've got the little booklet up on
• 18:52
  Speaker 5: the mantelpiece, that makes me feel happy.
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you're really proud.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, So we did that.
• 18:57
  Speaker 5: And then I like I told my midwe life what
• 19:00
  Speaker 5: was going on, and I'd just gone for some extra
• 19:02
  Speaker 5: checks around them and just got some monitoring.
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: Yes much, thank god.
• 19:06
  Speaker 5: But like he was just completely fine, and literally he
• 19:10
  Speaker 5: was vibing.
• 19:11
  Speaker 4: He's like, Mum, you seem stressed. I would just hang
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: out here for a bit, all right.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: He just hung out like he was just so fine.
• 19:17
  Speaker 5: And then I even like I booked the induction or
• 19:19
  Speaker 5: my due date, I ended up going in a few
• 19:22
  Speaker 5: days earlier just because like I felt like my brain
• 19:24
  Speaker 5: couldn't comprehend movements at that point in time, so I
• 19:29
  Speaker 5: was stressing myself more so we ended up having the
• 19:31
  Speaker 5: induction and like it was literally like Dad passed away
• 19:35
  Speaker 5: a week later, the funeral a week later, I gave birth.
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: Oh no, and doing all of that, and you mentioned like, yeah,
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: we had to like navigate funeral expenses throughout that time.
• 19:47
  Speaker 4: Like money is so stressful at the best of times.
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: Money when you're going through that is even more stressful.
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: But now you're trying to finalize his estate, but you've
• 19:57
  Speaker 4: said there's maybe a co executor that doesn't have the
• 19:59
  Speaker 4: best intentions. That's another level of stress that is just
• 20:03
  Speaker 4: not necessary. So how are you navigating What does that
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: look like?
• 20:06
  Speaker 5: Oh, it's been pretty awful in terms of like somebody
• 20:10
  Speaker 5: who should be a big part of like the support
• 20:13
  Speaker 5: network in postpartum is just not around. And that's because
• 20:16
  Speaker 5: of substances that they've engaged with for a long period.
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: So that's not a surprise but also still heartbreaking.
• 20:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah, like we always knew it was bad, and when
• 20:26
  Speaker 5: my mom passed away, it probably exasperated at all. I
• 20:28
  Speaker 5: suppose people that's no excuse for them, but deal with
• 20:32
  Speaker 5: things differently, I guess. But yeah, like since that has passed,
• 20:36
  Speaker 5: this person has pretty much well they never actually contacted
• 20:40
  Speaker 5: me when I had the baby, you know, to see
• 20:42
  Speaker 5: if I was okay. So all communication has pretty much
• 20:45
  Speaker 5: been through the solicitor now because obviously, which is why
• 20:49
  Speaker 5: I wrote in the money story actually because the joint
• 20:51
  Speaker 5: executorship thing is, I actually had no idea about it.
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: Like it's good in theory.
• 20:55
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and Dad always said to me, He's like, don't
• 20:58
  Speaker 5: worry because I'd be like Dad. This person lived with
• 21:01
  Speaker 5: Dad for a long time for free. They're about ten
• 21:03
  Speaker 5: years older than me. So it always irked me because
• 21:05
  Speaker 5: Dad struggled so much with money after his stroke. Well
• 21:09
  Speaker 5: we slaved away on our mortgage and all now you know,
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: it frustrated me.
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and they're just kind of like taking a free
• 21:17
  Speaker 4: ride and basically taking advantage of your dad. And you're
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: watching that happen and that's hurtful, Like that's not okay,
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: And like you seem like a different personality as well,
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: because like you just told me before, like oh, our
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: plan was smash down our mortgage, build a granny flat
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: so Dad could move in because I could see he
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: was struggling on the pension. That's literally the exact opposite
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: of what you've just explained, So like that would be
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: so hard to navigate.
• 21:41
  Speaker 5: And it was so frustrating because even during that time
• 21:43
  Speaker 5: of us trying to get Dad to sell the family
• 21:46
  Speaker 5: home to build, like I was even planning on, you know,
• 21:49
  Speaker 5: the Brannie flat would be like a building that if
• 21:52
  Speaker 5: Dad passed away, it could literally just be picked up
• 21:55
  Speaker 5: on a truck and sold and taken away, just like
• 21:57
  Speaker 5: a family home. Like our property was not essential benefiting
• 22:00
  Speaker 5: from it. That this person said to my dad many times,
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: like what about my inheritance.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: Et cetera, et cetera.
• 22:06
  Speaker 4: It's actually not your inheritance.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: It's his money to spend on his.
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: Life right now.
• 22:10
  Speaker 5: And that's what I wanted for him so bad, because
• 22:13
  Speaker 5: at the end he just wanted to go to the
• 22:15
  Speaker 5: pub and have a stake icon honestly, icon exactly. And
• 22:18
  Speaker 5: there were weeks that he would call me and be
• 22:20
  Speaker 5: like Georgia on my account, so overdrawn, I don't know.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: Why, like and like.
• 22:24
  Speaker 5: It was just so frustrating at the end because I
• 22:26
  Speaker 5: couldn't help him, and I just wanted him to just
• 22:28
  Speaker 5: like Mom and Dad slaved at that mortgage their entire lives.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: They paid every bit of.
• 22:32
  Speaker 5: Interest to the bank that they possibly could, and actually
• 22:36
  Speaker 5: he paid his last mortgage repayment while he was in
• 22:40
  Speaker 5: hospital after the stroke.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: I stop it.
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: No, that's heartbreaking, I know.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: And it was so weird.
• 22:46
  Speaker 5: I remember it had come out maybe his account was overdrawn,
• 22:49
  Speaker 5: and I was fixing it because that's the other thing
• 22:51
  Speaker 5: that happened. I used to sort of help him manage
• 22:53
  Speaker 5: the money. And then about once this person moved into
• 22:55
  Speaker 5: his house, the control got lost.
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: So it's all, yeah, it sounds like I'm mad. And
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: so you're going through this process and is the solicitor
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: kind of aware that this is going on. I feel
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: like these people generally have some level of nows.
• 23:09
  Speaker 5: Yes they do, And I think that's the thing, like
• 23:12
  Speaker 5: when they come to an appointment, they're very like you know,
• 23:15
  Speaker 5: if you met them in the street, you would be like, oh,
• 23:17
  Speaker 5: like they're an okay person, you know, like what a delight? Yeah, yeah,
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: which is exactly right. Thankfully, this solicitor has been sort
• 23:25
  Speaker 5: of like helping my family. For he supported my mom's
• 23:29
  Speaker 5: mom and then mum did the wills, so he sort of,
• 23:33
  Speaker 5: I guess had an idea. So he's been on the
• 23:35
  Speaker 5: journey very much with us, thank god.
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, and is that all kind of sorting itself
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: out or like, is that not going to go to plan?
• 23:44
  Speaker 5: Well, so we're about like, my son just went four months,
• 23:48
  Speaker 5: So I just got the property on the market today,
• 23:50
  Speaker 5: which has been.
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: Like just congrats.
• 23:53
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's been chaotic, but we got there.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so we'll see how it goes.
• 23:59
  Speaker 5: Obviously, we've still got the hurdles of negotiating the price
• 24:04
  Speaker 5: of the property. And you have a four month old,
• 24:06
  Speaker 5: so I'm assuming you're still on matt leave and your
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: matt leave isn't meant to be spent doing this stuff,
• 24:10
  Speaker 5: but you've been doing will executive stuff and trying to
• 24:13
  Speaker 5: get a house on the market, like with a newborn.
• 24:15
  Speaker 5: You've now got a four month old. That's crazy. Did
• 24:17
  Speaker 5: you blink and then that happened?
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: He's so yeah, Like he had a bit of a
• 24:21
  Speaker 5: wildforce trimester.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: He cried a fair bit.
• 24:24
  Speaker 5: But now he's like just this happy little guy that
• 24:27
  Speaker 5: smiles all the time. Like he literally just everyone who
• 24:30
  Speaker 5: sees him, he'll be like making them like full body
• 24:33
  Speaker 5: smile and like getting tears in their eyes because he's
• 24:35
  Speaker 5: like laughing to get the attention.
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: He's like, look at me, he is.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 24:40
  Speaker 5: So it brings you sort of back down to earth,
• 24:42
  Speaker 5: I think, having a little person.
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and so what were you doing when you went
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: on matt leave? Like what was your job and how
• 24:49
  Speaker 4: much money did you earn?
• 24:50
  Speaker 5: Yes, so I worked in the public service for the
• 24:54
  Speaker 5: last year. I did four days a week, so I
• 24:56
  Speaker 5: was about ninety thousand.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: Plus super Oh that's good. Yeah, which was good. Yeah.
• 25:01
  Speaker 5: I only got a pay rise just before Mattley, which
• 25:04
  Speaker 5: was a lovely little bonus.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: And then having paid parentally was awesome for that.
• 25:08
  Speaker 5: I got twelve weeks so before my job previously was
• 25:12
  Speaker 5: it a not for profit? Oh yeah, and you wouldn't
• 25:13
  Speaker 5: have got that no, So I did sort of make
• 25:16
  Speaker 5: that move in the chaos of my life just to
• 25:18
  Speaker 5: help us along a little bit, knowing we wanted to
• 25:20
  Speaker 5: have another kid.
• 25:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's so good. And so then you went on
• 25:25
  Speaker 4: to like obviously maternity leave, and you then got your
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: paid parental leave and like the centling parental leave like
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: pay kicking in. Tell me about that because you specifically
• 25:35
  Speaker 4: put that in your submission. So I'm assuming it's a
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: pain in the butt.
• 25:40
  Speaker 5: It is, And I think because I like interest rates.
• 25:43
  Speaker 5: When I was on matt leave with my daughter in
• 25:45
  Speaker 5: twenty twenty two were much lovelier and we kind of
• 25:48
  Speaker 5: had a lovely time. You know, We're like out to
• 25:51
  Speaker 5: lunch some days, just living our best life.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: But now it's like I knew it.
• 25:55
  Speaker 5: Was going to hit, And I think that's why I
• 25:58
  Speaker 5: sort of said I felt like I was a c
• 26:00
  Speaker 5: at this point in Mattley because I was great at budgeting.
• 26:02
  Speaker 5: I was a little bit controlling, like when we get paid,
• 26:05
  Speaker 5: I like to just like pay everything, like I would
• 26:07
  Speaker 5: sit down and do it for like a good hour
• 26:10
  Speaker 5: and make sure everything was like how I wanted it
• 26:13
  Speaker 5: with our bills, which I.
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: Know is a bit psychotic. But no, but that's okay.
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: We just sometimes need to feel like leer in control.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: We do.
• 26:22
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but I've let that control. I guess laps a
• 26:24
  Speaker 5: little bit now that I'm on maternity leave and don't
• 26:27
  Speaker 5: have the brain space.
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: That's okay. Sometimes we can just like let that lapse,
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: like you're allowed to relax. Sometimes, I promise, let's go
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: to a really quick break because on the flip side,
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: I have a lot of questions. So guys don't go
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: anywhere all right, money dist we are back talk to me.
• 26:46
  Speaker 4: You have a mortgage? Is that your big money goal?
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: Like pay that off or like what are you currently
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: working towards financially? Yeah, So, as I said, we bought
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: this property, we had built brand new, and then last
• 26:59
  Speaker 4: year we actually sold our brand new house and built
• 27:02
  Speaker 4: a renovator on a bigger block. It wasn't a full
• 27:05
  Speaker 4: renovator like the previous owner have like painted it new carpets,
• 27:10
  Speaker 4: so it was okay for us to move straight in.
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: So we've just been sort of doing bits and pieces,
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: but we haven't sort of like jumped into any huge
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: renovations just yet, Like we haven't ripped out the kitchen
• 27:21
  Speaker 4: and we're living off a cooked top in the bathroom yet.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: No, not yet.
• 27:26
  Speaker 5: That's definitely it needs it needs it, so that would
• 27:30
  Speaker 5: be our first goal, and then obviously to pay it
• 27:32
  Speaker 5: down as much as we can, whether or not we
• 27:35
  Speaker 5: sell here and move somewhere different when not quite school,
• 27:38
  Speaker 5: but only because like, as much as I love it,
• 27:41
  Speaker 5: it does have that last little connection to I wanted
• 27:44
  Speaker 5: to build a Grammy flat here for Dad, but we
• 27:46
  Speaker 5: couldn't sort of thing.
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: So yeah, no, totally and that does cloud it a
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: little bit. Sometimes you just go, you know what, I
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: want a fresh start, like I want to clean sleep.
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: I don't want to walk into my garden and just
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: think about that every single time. But also like reframe
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: that what a beautiful intention. I know you didn't get
• 28:00
  Speaker 4: to do it, but like imagine being the person that
• 28:03
  Speaker 4: that's how you're thinking, Like, oh, I would love to
• 28:06
  Speaker 4: put my parents or my dad in the backyard and
• 28:09
  Speaker 4: like take the financial pressure off him. Like what a
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: beautiful sentiment, Like you're a special human because you know what,
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: there are so many people that would be like I
• 28:16
  Speaker 4: would never do that cool, but like I would.
• 28:21
  Speaker 5: It would have been hard, I think, and as he
• 28:23
  Speaker 5: changed over the last year, like definitely, but it would
• 28:26
  Speaker 5: have been really cool too. Like I always like had
• 28:28
  Speaker 5: little thoughts of you know, like just him pottering around
• 28:31
  Speaker 5: the yard with you know, my kids, or like could
• 28:34
  Speaker 5: just sit in his granny flat and we put a
• 28:35
  Speaker 5: pool and they could watch him swim and you know,
• 28:38
  Speaker 5: like just lovely things like that.
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And hopefully with time, maybe that gets a little
• 28:42
  Speaker 4: bit easier because like I think that you still clearly
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: haven't dealt with this, like in the nicest possible way,
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: you haven't had time to grieve, because girl, you've just
• 28:51
  Speaker 4: come out of newborn territory and you just told me
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: that he didn't really like not crying, so he was
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: a busy boy, keeping you probably very distracted. But like
• 29:02
  Speaker 4: grief is fickle, yes.
• 29:03
  Speaker 5: And I think that's why I really wanted to get
• 29:06
  Speaker 5: their property sold and organized. But it was really challenging
• 29:09
  Speaker 5: with the joint executor, not actually just wanting. He essentially
• 29:14
  Speaker 5: stopped talking to me because he wanted to live there
• 29:16
  Speaker 5: for free, I think, which like obviously it made it
• 29:20
  Speaker 5: much harder for me to get things organized, so he
• 29:23
  Speaker 5: won to a degree. But hopefully now that we've got
• 29:26
  Speaker 5: it on the market, we can get a buyer and
• 29:28
  Speaker 5: I can close that part of my life and move forward.
• 29:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, there's just a chapter we can close, and maybe
• 29:34
  Speaker 4: once all of that settles, then you can take a
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: big breath and maybe grieve then a little bit more,
• 29:40
  Speaker 4: because you're like, there's not a lot of weight on
• 29:42
  Speaker 4: my shoulders now, Like I don't actually have any responsibilities. Now,
• 29:46
  Speaker 4: I can just be the daughter who has lost her.
• 29:49
  Speaker 5: Parents, Yes, which is so much nicer than being a guaranteel.
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: Oh my goodness, Yeah, that's a lot, My friend, that
• 29:57
  Speaker 4: is a lot. So tell me a bit more about money.
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: Do you and your husband invest if so in what? Yeah?
• 30:04
  Speaker 5: So obviously I'm a bit of a podcast lover of yours.
• 30:08
  Speaker 5: So I had started investing in chares ease. I haven't
• 30:11
  Speaker 5: got heaps there because I was just chipping away a
• 30:13
  Speaker 5: little bit per week. So I think there's five hundred
• 30:16
  Speaker 5: dollars in ETFs for us.
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: Oh see, that's good.
• 30:20
  Speaker 5: Well it Actually I was a bit stoked the other
• 30:22
  Speaker 5: day because obviously the market's gone a bit up considering
• 30:25
  Speaker 5: what's been going on. So I was looking at the
• 30:27
  Speaker 5: return at the moment, I was like, oh, look at that,
• 30:29
  Speaker 5: like from my little twenty dollars a fortnight, you know, yeah,
• 30:33
  Speaker 5: from little things.
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: Big things really do grow.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I've got that.
• 30:37
  Speaker 5: And then I've also I've started dabbling with Superhero to
• 30:41
  Speaker 5: have the split accounts for the kids, so yeah, cute. Yeah,
• 30:45
  Speaker 5: So I've started investing for each of them. I sort
• 30:48
  Speaker 5: of started for my daughter, but I was, I think
• 30:50
  Speaker 5: still learning, so now that my son's here, I kind
• 30:53
  Speaker 5: of ramp hers up and was trying to make them equal.
• 30:55
  Speaker 5: I was calculating that to what I would would have
• 30:58
  Speaker 5: done with when she was born.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: So yeah, we've got that obviously.
• 31:02
  Speaker 5: That would be another sort of money goal once a
• 31:04
  Speaker 5: few other things. Yeah, kick chipping away that, bro, I suppose.
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: I love that. And talk to me about superannuation. You
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: mentioned before that you earn ninety thousand dollars plus super.
• 31:14
  Speaker 4: But you're in like a public service role. Is super
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: a big part of your salary because I'm assuming if
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: you're in public service, maybe you get better than average superannuation.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not that much better. It's by one percent
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: than the average.
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: I mean, I'll take it. It's better than a kick
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: in the pants.
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: Better than nothing, I suppose.
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: So it's ticking along, okay, I think I think it's
• 31:35
  Speaker 5: sitting at about eighty thousand mine. Now my husband's is
• 31:38
  Speaker 5: much nicer because he's also been in a government role
• 31:41
  Speaker 5: for many years. But yeah, it's just being on centilinkly
• 31:45
  Speaker 5: and not getting any super right now is a little
• 31:48
  Speaker 5: bit frustrating given it's coming in very soon.
• 31:50
  Speaker 4: But anyway, yeah, that would be so annoying. You'd be like,
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: excuse me, like essentially a year, you know, give or take.
• 31:57
  Speaker 5: I think, you know whatever, it is five and a
• 31:59
  Speaker 5: half once you get at the moment. So yeah, over
• 32:03
  Speaker 5: two maternity leaves. It's a little frustrating, but.
• 32:05
  Speaker 4: It's a lot, and that's why we have to talk
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: about it and think about it. Talk to me about debt.
• 32:10
  Speaker 4: You mentioned that you have a mortgage. What does that
• 32:13
  Speaker 4: look like.
• 32:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so it's a little bit large and in charge
• 32:17
  Speaker 5: at the moment.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: But our house hopefully would be worth about.
• 32:21
  Speaker 5: One point two at the moment, and we owe I
• 32:24
  Speaker 5: think seven fifty on it.
• 32:26
  Speaker 4: Oh that's good.
• 32:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah, obviously when we bought and sold in the same market,
• 32:31
  Speaker 5: paying stamp duty was a lovely kick in the bum.
• 32:34
  Speaker 4: But yeah, stamp duty's not fun at all. Stamp duty
• 32:37
  Speaker 4: makes me sick.
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: It's a bit gross.
• 32:39
  Speaker 5: But yeah, so we've got that, and then I think
• 32:42
  Speaker 5: I've got about fifteen K on my car loan, which
• 32:45
  Speaker 5: is pretty much all that we have. So that would
• 32:47
  Speaker 5: be another goal to get rid of that, because that's
• 32:49
  Speaker 5: not the nicest to pay.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: I don't like paying that one.
• 32:53
  Speaker 4: No, I don't think anyone does. But I'm assuming you
• 32:55
  Speaker 4: ended up with a car loan because you were like,
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: I need it.
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: Yes, I think I was.
• 32:59
  Speaker 5: Just on that leave with my daughter and my car
• 33:01
  Speaker 5: was just I've been driving my husband's car because it
• 33:04
  Speaker 5: was much safer actually, But I think we're both going
• 33:06
  Speaker 5: back to work and we're just like, let's just get
• 33:08
  Speaker 5: rid of it and we'll just have one car loan.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 33:11
  Speaker 4: Fair, very fair call. So talk to me. I feel
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: like you said, oh I am a C, but I
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: was a B minus. I feel like you're probably better
• 33:21
  Speaker 4: than that. You're just not giving yourself enough credit. It
• 33:22
  Speaker 4: sounds like you're the type of person that's relatively harsh
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: on themselves. But that's okay. Tell me, what do you
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: think your best money? How it is?
• 33:29
  Speaker 5: As much as I was a little bit controlling, I
• 33:32
  Speaker 5: think I am really good at budgeting, and it was
• 33:34
  Speaker 5: pretty much like we were a little bit frivolous. I
• 33:37
  Speaker 5: suppose when interest rates started to rise and I was
• 33:40
  Speaker 5: on Matt leave, I think.
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: I got really good at it then.
• 33:42
  Speaker 5: So as much as I was controlling, I felt like
• 33:45
  Speaker 5: our money really was like sortied organized and like I
• 33:48
  Speaker 5: always felt good about it. I hate the feeling of
• 33:50
  Speaker 5: like just spending a little bit willy nilly and not
• 33:53
  Speaker 5: knowing what you're opening in your bank account.
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: Back just gives me the hebgb's So, I.
• 33:59
  Speaker 4: Mean that's good. What do you think your worst money
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: how it is?
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: Then probably spending money on my kids.
• 34:05
  Speaker 5: I was just was my daughter's birthday this morning, and
• 34:07
  Speaker 5: after I got all of her presents out last night,
• 34:09
  Speaker 5: I was like, she has so much stuff, and I
• 34:11
  Speaker 5: was like, did I really need to buy all of this?
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: Like I don't think I spent a lot. Obviously, it
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: looks more when they're little because you can just get
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: little things.
• 34:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, and they're very happy with whatever from
• 34:22
  Speaker 4: KMA as well, like they don't know their difference, And.
• 34:24
  Speaker 5: A lot was just from like I think I did
• 34:26
  Speaker 5: it one hundred dollars lay by at Big W So yeah,
• 34:29
  Speaker 5: maybe that.
• 34:29
  Speaker 4: I mean that's not the worst.
• 34:31
  Speaker 5: No, it's not the worst, and I loved it. So
• 34:35
  Speaker 5: other than that, probably just relax on the budget from
• 34:39
  Speaker 5: my Matt leave. But I'm kind of trying to give
• 34:41
  Speaker 5: myself grace given there's been a lot going on.
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: I feel like that's really fair. Yeah, like let's embrace
• 34:47
  Speaker 4: that idea. How about we do give ourselves a little
• 34:49
  Speaker 4: bit more grace just always just in general, Like, I
• 34:52
  Speaker 4: think you deserve it, and I mean we just touched
• 34:55
  Speaker 4: on it before, but you said, look, I reckon, I'm
• 34:56
  Speaker 4: a c right now. But I was a bee my
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: before and then you like took me through everything you
• 35:03
  Speaker 4: did financially and not finance, I mean you're investing, You're
• 35:06
  Speaker 4: doubling in Superhero because you want your kids to invest.
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: Like you've got a mortgage, you're paying that off. You've
• 35:11
  Speaker 4: got some really nice equity there. You obviously have a
• 35:14
  Speaker 4: pretty okay, like very nice looking, super fun Let's be honest,
• 35:18
  Speaker 4: and like you seem to just have your stuff together. Girl,
• 35:21
  Speaker 4: you were writing your dad's eulogy while you were thirty
• 35:23
  Speaker 4: nine weeks pregnant, Like, be for real, come on, like
• 35:26
  Speaker 4: you've got your shit together, and then you're like probably
• 35:28
  Speaker 4: you c at the moment. Do you feel like, after
• 35:30
  Speaker 4: we've had this chat and like read out your money story,
• 35:34
  Speaker 4: do you think that that's fair for that person who's
• 35:36
  Speaker 4: been through all of that.
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: Probably not.
• 35:38
  Speaker 5: I know I am definitely the person that's always a
• 35:40
  Speaker 5: little bit hard on myself, But yeah, I maybe it'd be.
• 35:44
  Speaker 4: Look, I get it, but like let's just give ourselves
• 35:47
  Speaker 4: a little bit more grace, especially right now, like you
• 35:49
  Speaker 4: deserve it. You deserve it.
• 35:51
  Speaker 5: I know I need to definitely for the grieving process,
• 35:54
  Speaker 5: I need to be as kind as I possibly can
• 35:56
  Speaker 5: to myself, I think, but yeah.
• 35:58
  Speaker 4: One hundred percent you do. Oh my goodness, it has
• 36:01
  Speaker 4: been a pleasure getting to know you. Thank you for
• 36:02
  Speaker 4: sharing so much about your mum and your dad, like
• 36:05
  Speaker 4: it was a pleasure. They sound like they were delightful
• 36:07
  Speaker 4: human beings. And having gotten to know you what over
• 36:10
  Speaker 4: the last half an hour, I feel like the apple
• 36:12
  Speaker 4: didn't fall that far from the tree. So like, I
• 36:14
  Speaker 4: feel like your kids are probably gonna say the same
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: things about you that you're saying about your mum, which
• 36:20
  Speaker 4: is beautiful, Like that's so good. Like that to me
• 36:22
  Speaker 4: is ultimate goals.
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: It is ultimate goals.
• 36:24
  Speaker 4: And I really do hope so oh, I know, so
• 36:27
  Speaker 4: thank you.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: I know so.
• 36:29
  Speaker 4: I wish we had more time, but unfortunately that's all
• 36:31
  Speaker 4: we've got time for today. So thank you so much
• 36:33
  Speaker 4: for sharing that with us. I'm genuinely just so grateful,
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: And I wish that we're in the same stake because
• 36:38
  Speaker 4: I feel like we get on we are probably a
• 36:40
  Speaker 4: similar type of human being. Yes, I'm not surprised. Thank
• 36:44
  Speaker 4: you so much.
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 36:52
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• 36:55
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• 36:59
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• 37:02
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• 37:06
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