Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 663: Social Media Games Your Ex Will Play During No Contact

Transcript

Episode 663: Social Media Games Your Ex Will Play During No Contact · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:01
  If you're in no contact because someone broke up with you or
• 0:04
  because you had to break up with someone because they took you
• 0:07
  for granted or cheated, there's a very good chance that your ex
• 0:12
  will try to indirectly communicate with you through
• 0:15
  social media. And by social media, I'm also
• 0:19
  including texting as well as WhatsApp and texts like
• 0:23
  Telegram, etcetera. So why would they be trying to
• 0:27
  communicate with you when they broke up with you or when you
• 0:31
  broke up with them? And what should you do?
• 0:35
  Stay tuned and you'll find out. Hi, this is Lucia with the Art
• 0:39
  of Love. I'm a dating and relationship
• 0:41
  expert specializing in helping you get your ex back or to get
• 0:44
  over your ex. And welcome back my beautiful no
• 0:47
  contact Army. Have you downloaded my app
• 0:50
  Silencio to help you stay in no contact?
• 0:54
  If you haven't, the link is underneath every single video
• 0:56
  and podcast. And if you too would like to
• 0:59
  join our beautiful no contact army, all you have to do is hit
• 1:02
  the subscribe button and the bell notification and you're in.
• 1:06
  And to read our manual, go to nocontactsecrets.com.
• 1:10
  Or you can read two free chapters before you purchase the
• 1:12
  book. And of course, the link to that
• 1:14
  is also underneath every video and podcast.
• 1:17
  OK, so when you're in no contact, the person you're in no
• 1:22
  contact with doesn't usually go away.
• 1:25
  As I mentioned in my video from last week called yes, you will
• 1:30
  hear from your ex, 90% of you will hear from your ex.
• 1:34
  It would just be too easy if they would just go away if they
• 1:36
  weren't interested, right? Nope.
• 1:39
  They got to stick around and confuse you and torture you.
• 1:43
  And before reaching out directly, many of them will
• 1:48
  attempt to get your attention through social media or texting
• 1:52
  apps. And if you have very little
• 1:56
  self-control and get triggered easily or have an anxious
• 2:00
  attachment style, as many of you do listening to this, you're
• 2:03
  gonna get tricked. You're gonna get tricked into
• 2:07
  breaking no contact, and you're gonna regret it.
• 2:09
  And I see it every day in the comments.
• 2:11
  Well, my ex did this. So I responded, well, what do
• 2:14
  they mean by this? What do they mean?
• 2:15
  Yeah, we're gonna clear all that up because there are a lot of
• 2:20
  land mines that are out there waiting for you in the land of
• 2:26
  no contact and your ex and social media.
• 2:31
  So why are they doing this? It's because they do not want to
• 2:37
  reach out directly and they're hoping that they can get you to
• 2:44
  reach out to them instead by playing these little games.
• 2:48
  And you may be asking, but why do they want to reach out to me?
• 2:52
  They broke up with me. Why do they want to be in touch?
• 2:56
  Well, many reasons. One, there may be a chance that
• 3:01
  they want to get back together, yes.
• 3:03
  Or down the road, they think they may want to get back
• 3:07
  together. So they want to see if you're
• 3:09
  still around. They want to see if they still
• 3:11
  have access to you, or maybe it's ego.
• 3:16
  You're in no contact and they're not very happy about it because
• 3:20
  even though they dumped you, they thought you were going to
• 3:23
  chase them and you didn't. So they want to see if they can
• 3:27
  get a reaction out of you. So what are these games?
• 3:31
  Let's get started. One that I see happening quite
• 3:34
  often is that your ex will wear something that you gave them.
• 3:38
  So jewelry, clothing, and unless it's something that they wore
• 3:44
  often before the breakup, so they always wore that piece of
• 3:47
  jewelry or they always wore that shirt, then if they suddenly pop
• 3:51
  up in that necklace or that shirt or whatever, then yeah,
• 3:56
  they're trying to get a reaction.
• 3:57
  They're hoping that you'll see it and it will trigger you and
• 4:01
  you'll want to reach out. But of course, you're not going
• 4:03
  to, right? Something else that they may do
• 4:07
  is that they'll be on an app like WhatsApp, Telegram maybe
• 4:16
  anyways, an app where they, you can see whether they're on or
• 4:19
  off, on or off. And they will be on and off, on
• 4:22
  and off either throughout the day when they don't usually use
• 4:25
  that app, I should mention, or they'll be on and off for like
• 4:28
  an hour or two because they're hoping that you'll notice that
• 4:31
  they're on there and they want you to think, Oh my God, are
• 4:35
  they dating someone new? And now they're talking to that
• 4:37
  person on that app? Oh, no.
• 4:40
  So that's another sneaky one. One that I see quite often is
• 4:45
  the unsolicited memes. So you may have been sending
• 4:50
  memes to each other before the breakup, or maybe even not.
• 4:54
  And what they're doing is they're trying to bring light,
• 4:58
  light heartedness to the situation, and it's actually
• 5:03
  disrespectful. So do not respond, even if it's
• 5:09
  with a like or an emoji because they're trying to act like
• 5:13
  nothing happened. They're not taking you
• 5:16
  seriously. And if you do respond, then they
• 5:20
  know they have a chance and they get an ego boost and they know
• 5:25
  that if they continue to send you memes that they may be able
• 5:29
  to get you to break. And by the way, if you're
• 5:33
  finding this video helpful and you think you may be interested
• 5:36
  in coaching, there is now AQR code on YouTube in the left hand
• 5:40
  corner that you can scan and it will take you to my coaching
• 5:45
  page so you can get more information.
• 5:49
  And let me know if that QR code, if you're having trouble
• 5:52
  scanning it because it's the first time that I'm putting it
• 5:55
  in and hey, I don't know. So if there's any problem with
• 5:59
  the QR code, let me know. Thank you.
• 6:01
  All right, the next game would be blocking you and then
• 6:07
  unblocking you and waiting for you, because you're going to
• 6:11
  notice that you're blocked. Then you're going to notice that
• 6:13
  you're unblocked and you're going to think, but they're not
• 6:16
  going to reach out. But you're going to think, oh,
• 6:18
  well, maybe I should reach out to them.
• 6:19
  Maybe that's why they unblocked me.
• 6:21
  They're waiting. No, it doesn't matter.
• 6:24
  You are not going to reach out with that whole blocking
• 6:27
  unblocking name. OK, the next one would be if
• 6:31
  they took a page out of my book and they tried the two drink
• 6:35
  trick that I've mentioned often or the two plates trick.
• 6:38
  And that's to get you to react. And if you do, then again, it's
• 6:44
  an ego boost for them because they see that they still have
• 6:47
  control over you because they got you to react because you're
• 6:52
  thinking, Oh my God, they're moving on.
• 6:55
  They're dating someone else. This is why we don't watch their
• 7:00
  stories in No Contact, besides the fact that you're breaking no
• 7:03
  contact if you watch their stories.
• 7:05
  And Speaking of watching stories, another tactic is to
• 7:09
  watch all your stories. They want to confuse you.
• 7:13
  They want you to reach out. You're getting mixed signals
• 7:16
  because first they break up with you and then they watch all your
• 7:20
  stories. You're like, what the hell?
• 7:22
  And often, you know, mixed signals are worse than the
• 7:25
  breakup itself, at least a breakup that happened once and
• 7:28
  that's it. And you can try to heal.
• 7:30
  But no, now every time you post a story and you look to see who
• 7:34
  watched, there's their name. You're like, what the hell?
• 7:37
  Why are you watching all my stories if you broke up with me?
• 7:41
  And if you're so interested, then why aren't you reaching
• 7:43
  out? So again, it's to mess with you
• 7:45
  and think that they're so interested that Oh well, maybe I
• 7:48
  better contact them. No, another game is texting to
• 7:53
  ignore. And again, they want to check to
• 7:57
  see if they still have control over you.
• 8:00
  And if you respond, you're going to look weak, you're going to
• 8:03
  look pathetic, and they're going to know that they can get you
• 8:06
  back at any time, especially if you then double text when you
• 8:11
  don't hear from them. So they text you something, you
• 8:14
  decide you're going to respond, and then they don't respond and
• 8:19
  you'll be like, what the hell? So now they know you're still
• 8:23
  interested, they still have access to you.
• 8:25
  And then some of you will get upset and double text and go,
• 8:30
  hey, I responded to you, where are you or are you playing games
• 8:33
  or what's going on? You know something?
• 8:35
  No, then they know they really got you.
• 8:38
  Something similar is calling once.
• 8:41
  So letting the phone ring once or if it's social media, you can
• 8:47
  see that they're calling from, you know, either Telegram or
• 8:50
  Snapchat or something, they let the phone ring once and they
• 8:53
  hang up. And again, you'll be confused.
• 8:55
  You're like, well, did they mean to call me?
• 8:58
  Do they want to talk to me? Do they want me back?
• 8:59
  What's going on? Nothing, nothing's going on.
• 9:03
  Calm down. OK, This one, this is bad.
• 9:08
  This is when they start flirting with your friends because they
• 9:11
  know it's going to hit your ego and you're very likely to react
• 9:17
  and lash out to them. So all of a sudden, your friend
• 9:21
  will say, hey, your ex was flirting with me.
• 9:23
  Or hey, your ex started talking to me.
• 9:25
  Your ex hit me up on Instagram and you're like, what?
• 9:27
  Or, you know, your ex started following me.
• 9:29
  You're like, what the heck is going on?
• 9:32
  Oh, yeah, I'll tell you what's going on.
• 9:34
  They're trying to get a reaction out of you.
• 9:35
  And that's why, again, I hate to sound like a broken record here.
• 9:41
  I keep repeating myself, but I have to because I know you're
• 9:43
  going to be tempted. You're going to be reactionary.
• 9:46
  Remember our slogan, We don't react.
• 9:48
  We do what? That's right, no contact.
• 9:51
  Something similar is if you can see them online complimenting
• 9:56
  other people. So women if they're guys, guys
• 9:59
  if they're women or guys and guys, women, women, whatever.
• 10:02
  Or adding other people and then liking their photos, like in
• 10:06
  their posts, interacting, whatever.
• 10:09
  Again, sometimes that's to get a reaction out of you.
• 10:12
  It's like, Oh no, he's moving on.
• 10:15
  He's he's chatting with that girl, he's talking to her, he
• 10:17
  added her, he added a bunch of people.
• 10:20
  This is why you should not be looking at what your ex is doing
• 10:23
  on social media because it's going to drive you crazy.
• 10:26
  You're already obsessing about the breakup anyway and now
• 10:30
  you're torturing yourself even more by looking at their stories
• 10:34
  where they can now post things to get a reaction out of you
• 10:38
  like the two drink trick, or they can be adding a bunch of
• 10:41
  people again to get a reaction out of you.
• 10:45
  So mute their stories, mute their posts, do not go to their
• 10:50
  page. Leave them alone.
• 10:54
  Nothing good can come out of constantly spying on them.
• 10:57
  I know you're not going to listen to me, but I'm telling
• 11:01
  you if you can't ignore them, that would be your best bet.
• 11:07
  Another one would be subliminal posts.
• 11:10
  And this is again a reason why you don't watch their stories
• 11:14
  because now they can mess with you.
• 11:16
  Besides the two drink truck. Now they'll post things where
• 11:21
  you'll wonder if that post is aimed at you.
• 11:23
  You know, they'll say something like never make someone a
• 11:27
  priority when they only see you as an option or whatever.
• 11:30
  And then you're like, is that directed at me?
• 11:35
  And you're going to start wondering, you're going to
• 11:37
  consider contacting them, especially if you do think it's
• 11:40
  aimed at you. And you'll be like, hey, you
• 11:42
  know what? That's not true.
• 11:43
  That's not cool. Don't, don't do it.
• 11:47
  And then finally random, randomly being unfollowed or
• 11:53
  blocked. So you're going to think that
• 11:57
  you've done something wrong and they want you to think that
• 12:00
  you've done something wrong and now they're not going to mess
• 12:02
  with you anymore. And you'll wonder why are they
• 12:06
  upset? It's like, why did they unfollow
• 12:08
  me all of a sudden? It's like they kept me on.
• 12:11
  They didn't unfollow me after the breakup.
• 12:13
  They didn't block me after the breakup.
• 12:14
  But now also all of a sudden, randomly they unfollowed me or
• 12:18
  they blocked me. Now, sometimes it's because it
• 12:20
  was their birthday and you didn't contact them for their
• 12:23
  birthday, as I say to do, and they will get upset some XS and
• 12:29
  they will unfollow or block or something, but that's fine.
• 12:32
  They're being reactionary. It's OK that they're reactionary
• 12:35
  as long as you're not reactionary.
• 12:37
  But sometimes it's just again, to mess with you.
• 12:40
  You didn't do anything wrong. And again, we don't react.
• 12:46
  We do no contact. OK so now I want to hear from
• 12:50
  you. Which one of these games has
• 12:53
  your X done on you and what was your reaction?
• 12:57
  Hopefully you didn't give them one.
• 12:59
  And in the meantime, if you would like my help to get your X
• 13:02
  back, you can contact me at theartoflove.net and we will
• 13:07
  send you the rates. They are not on the page and the
• 13:12
  direct link is underneath every single video and podcast.
• 13:15
  Or as I said, you can just scan the QR code on YouTube on the
• 13:20
  left hand side. And if you found this video
• 13:23
  helpful, please like, subscribe and share.
• 13:26
  If you're listening to this as a podcast, please rate and review.
• 13:30
  And finally, remember that love inspires, empowers, uplifts and
• 13:35
  enlightens.