Latest / Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage / Inconceivable

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Inconceivable · Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage

0:01
Oh, God. Oh, my God. She was in Ghost Rider,
0:23
right? Which one? Or which she? That's more what
0:27
I meant. Yeah. Are you talking about Gina Gershon?
0:29
never mind fuck yeah all women look the same
0:34
to me gina gershon was in face off though that's
0:38
what i'm thinking of fuck this movie bored my
0:41
face off all right well it was good it was good
0:45
to be here thank you all for being here see you
0:48
next time i mean we it would be great if we just
0:51
ended right now so nick does a single episode
1:01
Bye. Bye. I think it was last Saturday. I bought
1:07
a teapot new in the box at Goodwill. And when
1:11
I got home and unboxed it to wash it, it was
1:14
packed with bags of shrimps. Nice. Just freebies.
1:19
I love it. Goodwill drugs, man. Just Lucy's.
1:22
That's pretty cool. Yeah. So how many trips have
1:25
you gone on? I'm not doing that. Take the drugs.
1:27
I'm not. I'm not. Take the drugs or not taking
1:31
thrift store drugs. What's the worst thing you
1:34
would find in a teapot from a Goodwill? The movie.
1:38
what was it inconceivable imbecile it would be
1:42
amazing if you opened up a teapot and you found
1:44
inconceivable inside of it you're just like oh
1:46
man now i'm gonna burn this teapot bummer at
1:51
least you'd have a pretty cool like tea thingy
1:54
to set it on what do they call those uh it's
1:57
like a coaster for your teapot it's a it's a
2:00
thingamabob it's uh when it's so it's like when
2:04
it's hot yeah it's not a trivet It's a because
2:07
it's specifically it seems like it would be a
2:09
trivet. You would think it's a trivet. It feels
2:12
trivet esque. Yeah, this whole thing seems very
2:16
trivity. No, I'll never know. I'll never know.
2:19
And we're not going to look it up now. So this
2:22
is in a teapot. No. If only it were today. Yeah,
2:27
I know. Weirdly, at this point, it's still a
2:29
Nicolas Cage podcast. Having said that, welcome
2:32
back to Cage Magical and a roundabout way of
2:33
meeting Nicolas Cage. I'm Sean, here with my
2:36
co -host. And our producer. Peter, hello. And
2:44
we welcome back our special guest, Adam. Say
2:47
hi, Adam. It's good to be back. I'm glad we're
2:50
doing this. Is this your third? I was wondering
2:53
that. I think it's my fourth because I think
2:58
I did both National Treasures and then I did
3:02
Crowley's Mandolin against. Oh, that's right.
3:06
Yeah. Nine millimeter. Nine millimeter. Oh, God,
3:09
those movies sucked. Eight millimeter, but close
3:11
enough. I believe you made that same mistake
3:14
when we did that episode. I definitely did. Sean
3:17
is not the person I expect to make gun related
3:20
slip of the tongue. Yeah, right. I live in Oregon
3:24
now. So now you love guns? I love guns. That's
3:27
what they do. Yeah, that's what they do. I didn't
3:29
know. Yeah, that was an Oregon thing. I love
3:31
guns in Jesus. Yeah, they just hang out the side
3:33
of the max like shooting guns. Nice. On TriMet.
3:36
Shooting guns. Have you watched Fox News lately?
3:40
When they pull the teapot off the stove, they
3:42
just set it on a gun to keep it from burning
3:45
the countertop. Fucking love guns, dude. All
3:48
right, cool. Oregon rules. There's only a device
3:50
for that. That's definitely called a trivet.
3:53
No, no, no, no, no. It's a gun coaster. Got it.
3:58
Nailed it. So we're in the thick of the 2017
4:01
Nick Cage movies, which are all medium bad to
4:05
bad. This one also is from that same year. It
4:10
is called Inconceivable. It is a dinosaur skull
4:14
to pay off. He was still making. He did have
4:17
a dinosaur skull to pay off. Yeah. Where do we
4:19
begin with this one? Well, this movie was written
4:22
by three high school sophomore boys and it was
4:25
directed by two other high school sophomore boys.
4:29
It opens with explains the boobs. It opens. Yep.
4:33
I thought we were going to have a great movie.
4:34
I saw two pairs of boobs. It opens with Nicolas
4:37
Cage jogging ostensibly to make him relatable
4:43
as a human. It was maybe the most real looking
4:46
human man running. I've seen. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
4:50
He and his wife play doctors and like in the
4:54
sexy way. Sure. They try a few times, but zero
4:58
to zero results. Yeah. And let's see. Early in
5:04
the movie, his wife takes their daughter to the
5:07
park because every scene either happens around
5:11
a dinner table in their backyard or at this one
5:14
part of this one park because the set didn't
5:17
exist. um there was a there was a lake too and
5:21
let's see there she they blew it all on that
5:24
house though oh yeah absolutely okay every interior
5:27
shot is definitely shot in that house on some
5:29
other like some other room in that house totally
5:32
the hospital house house yep hospital it's just
5:35
the one it's like the office it's upsettingly
5:38
large doctor money man yeah we fucked up I know,
5:43
right? By being an idiot. While at the park in
5:47
the first three to five minutes of the movie,
5:49
she meets her friend there who also has a small
5:51
kid and then some random woman who does not have
5:54
a small kid and is just hanging out at this kid
5:57
park. That's their best friend. And then they
6:01
all become best friends and get a little wine
6:04
drunk on a play date and then have a sleepover,
6:06
which I guess is just a totally normal fucking
6:09
thing that... grown -ups accidentally do when
6:13
they don't really know each other again written
6:15
by teenagers it makes sense it's like and then
6:17
they all fell asleep in their underwear yeah
6:19
right after having a pillow fight so the next
6:22
morning uh the new friend i don't remember the
6:27
actor's name she's australian Oh, Nikki, Nikki
6:30
Whalen. There you go. So she's just making everybody
6:32
breakfast. And Nick Cage is just like super fine
6:35
that there's just a rando stranger in their house
6:38
making breakfast. And from there, well, he was
6:40
fine when he saw the weird sleepover. Yeah, right.
6:42
It was just like, well, girls are going to be
6:44
girls. Yeah. And so I don't there's there's like
6:47
definitely like time jumps in in this script,
6:51
but they don't really. address that so you're
6:54
not sure you're not sure if the next scene is
6:56
happening like later that afternoon or eight
6:59
months later you don't know it's not until like
7:02
you get to measure like a pregnancy that is the
7:05
only part of this script that allows the viewer
7:09
any opportunity for inference like every other
7:12
part of this script is like i'm using this scene
7:15
to tell the viewer exactly what's happening in
7:18
the plot yeah let's see um We're going back to
7:22
like they're all sitting around having dinner
7:25
in a backyard. This could have been the next
7:27
day. It could have been the same day. It could
7:29
have been six months later from the breakfast.
7:31
Right. And she becomes their nanny. In the weirdest,
7:35
most contrived scene possible. She's like, I
7:38
have to leave town for work. No, just move in
7:40
with us. OK. Why don't you just stay? You're
7:42
so cool and fun and nice. And my daughter loves
7:45
you. It was it was like. It was like Renee Zellweger
7:49
with you had me at hello, just like stopping
7:51
and being like, fine, I'll I'll go along with
7:55
what you're saying, except it was dumber and
7:57
way more painful to watch. Oh, God, it was terrible.
8:01
So then she becomes the nanny and starts kind
8:05
of like fucking the third friend that introduced
8:09
to them all. And then that lady's jacked, by
8:13
the way. And then. oh uh and then and stacked
8:17
jacked and stacked she moved so she she also
8:20
moves in with them and that had to happen just
8:24
for the obligatory like tit scene so they could
8:27
show some some boobs which again had nothing
8:32
to do with anything. That was just like, she
8:34
just like went into the pool one night and then
8:36
that was the end of the scene. In her underwear,
8:38
but topless. Yeah, right. My favorite review
8:42
of this film, part of it just says, there is
8:45
no need to see Nikki Whelan's boobs. We already
8:48
know what a good actress she is. it's just such
8:51
a great dig oh actually it's it's probably important
8:55
to bring up that right before or what led into
8:57
the the boob scene nick cage and uh gina gershon
9:02
thank you gina gershon uh he was trying to get
9:04
fresh with her gina gherkin she she said no because
9:07
she had just had a miscarriage and that's so
9:10
we're starting to get this idea that they had
9:11
they have trouble conceiving and um they already
9:15
have one daughter this was a very confusing time
9:18
jump too yeah yeah because she just like it feels
9:20
like she had the miscarriage and then he's like
9:22
well let me get up in there and it's also again
9:25
talking time jumps she's like announces to her
9:27
her friend you know and she's like yeah i'm pregnant
9:30
don't tell i haven't even talked to brian yet
9:33
and then it's like immediate time jump uncertain
9:36
amount of time miscarriage is it the next day
9:39
yeah maybe yeah you probably shouldn't have told
9:42
brian yeah probably not um boy that's confusing
9:46
i wish i knew had more context for the miscarriage
9:49
like was she like trampolining a lot like there's
9:53
so much in that time period that i wish i had
9:56
So many hot wings. I needed more from this movie.
9:58
I needed more constantly. Oh, did you? Yeah.
10:01
Oh, boy. It really had me on the edge of my seat
10:06
the whole time. This movie desperately, desperately
10:09
needed an editor. There were just so many scenes
10:11
where it's like, OK, so they're sitting around
10:12
explaining the plot to each other at the dinner
10:14
table. And then it would be like. Well, now would
10:17
you like some more lemonade? It's like, no, thank
10:19
you. I'm OK. Do you need any help cleaning up
10:21
the dishes? Sure, I guess so. And then it would
10:24
cut is like, what? Yeah, this movie needed an
10:27
adult. Somebody to just say, no, no, you don't
10:31
get to make this movie. I just had no idea what
10:35
this movie was trying to be. Like every 15 minutes,
10:38
I thought it was trying to be a different movie.
10:41
So it's like, OK, so she's. trying to steal Gina
10:44
Gershon's family and like steal the husband and
10:47
like, you know, hand that rocks the cradle. No,
10:49
that's not it. She's an abuse victim who got
10:52
away from her husband. Cause that's the first
10:54
scene of the movie. Nope. She, the movie just
10:57
left out crucial context that she was just a
11:00
kidnapper, but wait, I'm the baby's real mother,
11:03
but she's crazy. No, she's actually like an egg
11:05
donor. It just every 20 minutes, they're like,
11:08
here's something even weirder. But delivered
11:11
with no panache at all. I had made a note at
11:15
one point that this script felt like the product
11:19
of like a semester long, like high school film
11:22
class project. Totally. That like, okay, so we're
11:26
going to make a psych thriller. What? are the
11:30
larger tropes that always go into that do that
11:33
boobs and then any any other thing that they
11:36
wanted to put in there it was like we don't have
11:38
time for it we just we just got him each scene
11:43
has to be exactly something that would be in
11:45
a psychological thriller and it has to feel way
11:48
longer than it actually is at every step of the
11:52
movie no what this feels like to me this is just
11:55
a really improv extra says that went way too
11:58
far because every scene yes and the last scene
12:00
like first scene uh what you know battered wife
12:06
running away accidentally kills her husband cool
12:08
you know in hiding brown hair can't tell it's
12:11
the same person next scene wait she actually
12:14
killed uh the mother and kidnapped the baby wait
12:17
next scene she was actually the biological mother
12:19
of the baby because she donated her eggs next
12:21
scene and just every scene just takes it up another
12:25
notch except with no energy but with no energy
12:29
it's all it's sideways notches oh man okay so
12:34
this movie isn't it's an hour and 40 minutes
12:36
long and it felt like fucking five hours and
12:39
it didn't help that rachel was doing taxes while
12:42
i was watching this and both the girls were struggling
12:45
to fall asleep so i was constantly having to
12:47
get up and like help out a child or like answer
12:49
a tax filing question And I'm like, this thing
12:52
never ends. Never. I remember you texting me
12:56
when you're just like, oh, my God, I still have
12:58
50 minutes of this. It took me it took me three
13:01
hours to watch it and I didn't have anything
13:03
else going on. I blocked out the time I needed
13:06
and was like, great, I'll be done with this by
13:07
three this afternoon. And I was not because I
13:10
just had to keep pausing and like I had to go
13:12
do something else. And eventually I'd be like,
13:14
wow. I really need to get this watched or remind
13:18
yourself that you want to live. I did the same
13:23
every like every 20 minutes. I'm like, I'm going
13:25
to pause this and go just question all my life
13:28
decisions for a bit and then come back. Crank
13:30
one out real quick. I got to feel good. We're
13:34
saying the same thing. Oh, man. No, I powerhouse
13:37
that. I didn't stop. I don't think I even like
13:40
stood up. I just sat down and I was like, fucking
13:43
get it over with. Let's just go. didn't blink
13:45
once yeah no josey held my eyes open your eyes
13:48
your blue eyes just were crystal okay uh those
13:55
like blue eye contacts at one point like uh gina
13:59
gherkins in the bathroom and she finds those
14:02
and she's like oh my god she she wears contacts
14:04
i'm like motherfucker we just had a close -up
14:06
shot of you you're wearing contacts i can see
14:09
your contacts i'm also I mean, everybody, everybody's
14:13
guilty of opening a medicine cabinet with your
14:17
host's medicine cabinet when you're over for
14:18
dinner party or whatever. I have never looked
14:20
inside somebody's contacts case. Opened them
14:22
up. Yeah. Yeah. It's been like, I'm curious.
14:24
I bet that bitch is. Just try them on. Like,
14:29
oh, let's see what her fucking eyes do. Oh, God,
14:31
you are blind. Gross. Every everything. Why do
14:36
people put on somebody's glasses and go, oh,
14:38
my God, you're so blind. what is your fucking
14:42
frame of reference for this these are my eyes
14:44
like anything's bad yeah you put these on it's
14:47
gonna look fucking weird for you every everything
14:51
in this script there's sort of designs of i don't
14:56
know it advanced the plot yeah the railroadiness
14:58
right it was it was just it was just lazy everything
15:01
was like lazy as fuck like well okay what do
15:04
we what are we going to use for the whole entrapment
15:08
thing? I don't know. Make her a drug addict.
15:09
Should we explain that? Nah, she just, she, no,
15:14
she just, we just sort of find out. Yeah. And
15:16
it's never explained. No, I mean, it is explained,
15:19
but just very ham fistedly. And like where she's
15:21
just like, I used to be addicted to pills, but
15:24
I'm not anymore. And then an hour later, they
15:26
bring that back up. I needed it to get through
15:29
the pregnancy and then the after pregnancy and
15:32
then just Thursdays. Am I right? When when that
15:35
came up, I was sitting there like, did I sort
15:38
of did I miss like. five or seven minutes of
15:41
really crucial content in this movie. I didn't
15:46
know she'd been addicted to pills. Was this ever
15:48
talked about? And then I just, I just zoned out.
15:51
I know everybody that's a big party and everyone's
15:53
like, Oh no, not again. Back on the pills. Jesus
16:01
Christ. Come on, Angela. The concept of like
16:06
egg donor being like these parents aren't taking
16:08
good care of my babies is kind of OK. Like that's
16:12
a decent conceptual thriller, but there's still
16:15
so much that goes into like this is all anonymous.
16:18
Right. So like they had to add in that extra
16:20
layer of like, well, she also killed the lady
16:23
who ran the department. So she got the donors
16:26
for egg market. Fuck, man. OK, if that was my
16:30
business and that's the like. promotional video
16:34
that was shot for it that fucking shutter it
16:38
there's no fucking reason to have a business
16:40
with promotional video that bad yeah it looked
16:44
like it was shot on an iphone 4 i love how so
16:47
there's the video which is the big like giveaway
16:50
for the mystery for gina gershon but there's
16:54
this video She calls the place to try and get
16:57
some information. It's like, I'd like to talk
16:59
to the woman from the video. She's been dead
17:01
for four years. Why didn't you take down the
17:05
video? Yeah, exactly. Get a different video.
17:07
Perfect opportunity. Clearly, she greenlit the
17:10
shit video. She's gone. Let's get somebody new
17:14
in there. Let's get a fresh fucking face. Or
17:16
just a close up on eggs. Repaint that goddamn
17:19
wall. But the third friend, when she was murdered,
17:24
the very next scene two strangers find her murdered
17:27
body and then it's just like never addressed
17:29
nobody talks about it ever i love when they find
17:32
linda's body on the beach and those people just
17:35
are walking along and then they look down it's
17:37
like hey that's it you think that's a reaction
17:41
fucking corpse sitting on top of rocks it's like
17:46
huh body i did like so yeah katie kills linda
17:50
and then it's later described as a boating accident
17:53
but i like before the murder happens they're
17:56
on a public beach with people on it just everyone
17:59
decided to leave so murder could happen i want
18:02
to know why she was carrying that barbell like
18:05
Was nobody curious? Like, Oh, I'm packing my
18:07
beach stuff. Here's one kettlebell. And it's
18:11
like, what the fuck? Well, Linda was jacked.
18:14
So you, if you, if you're going to be jacked,
18:17
you got to stay jacked and keep jacking all the
18:19
time. ABJ always be jacked. This is Ohio. It's
18:22
not like Venice beach though. Like it's in no
18:25
way necessary. Thank you, Sean. Sean knows how
18:29
to get in shape. Everybody jacket right now.
18:34
you remember that movie uh what is it lady in
18:36
the water or whatever the m night shamalan and
18:38
then there was that one dude with the like one
18:40
arm yeah he fucking squeezes a mad hog that's
18:46
all let's talk about that movie what are the
18:49
there's like creatures in there called scrunts
18:51
or some shit something like that i don't know
18:53
what a weird movie i have a weird dude i only
18:56
think about big arm dude that's the only one
18:59
that matters yeah that is a life goal to just
19:02
like work out one arm super hard not gonna be
19:06
a plot point at all later like the the ice i
19:09
don't know i always assumed it was russian but
19:11
i have no idea why you stand across from each
19:14
other and you just smack one another and each
19:15
guy has like one huge arm the slap fights those
19:19
are pretty amazing it is weird when you see that
19:21
in slow motion too you can see like somebody's
19:23
skull move around under their skin they should
19:27
have incorporated that into this movie that barbell
19:30
just braining here that would have okay that
19:34
would have made at least the knockout and murder
19:37
scene a little more believable have you ever
19:38
seen somebody get knocked out or have you been
19:40
knocked out hell yeah you don't stand up unconscious
19:43
for three or four seconds before just kind of
19:46
slightly teetering over yeah you're done that
19:48
i mean go down like potatoes right It's not worth
19:53
getting into because there were so many other
19:55
scenes in this movie that were so much dumber,
19:57
but it was pretty dumb. The murder scene was
20:00
really bad. I wish they had done underwear for
20:03
that, too, because she had to get in the water.
20:05
So what? Why didn't she take her tits out then?
20:08
Fair, because they could only afford that argument.
20:11
Thank you. It can only afford it once. It's a
20:15
it's a public beach. There's people around. You
20:17
can't be naked. You can murder people, but totally
20:20
kill people. Considering her passion for drowning
20:24
women, I was really hoping the pool would come
20:26
into play in the third act. It doesn't. Nope.
20:29
Also, check out his fucking motorcycle. Why does
20:31
Nick Cage have a motorcycle? Again. To show he's
20:35
cool as fucking shit. Yeah, so he can get on
20:37
it at the end of the movie, ride off. He doesn't
20:39
even get it on at the end of the movie. He rides
20:41
it once. Don Johnson. Exactly. I wish he had
20:44
ridden off like Don Johnson. Fuck this family.
20:46
Don Johnson had the ultimate exit. That was good.
20:50
The whole different movie. Yep. That's for the
20:53
deep listeners. I will say, this movie has nothing
20:57
going for it except the last 10 minutes I was
21:00
fully on board for after Gina Gershon gets a
21:04
sabbed and the doctor and they find out that
21:07
Katie is the biological mother of like all the
21:11
children. And then the doctor comes out and it
21:13
goes into slow -mo and he like takes off the
21:16
mask and gives a slow. head shake and nick cage
21:20
starts crying and then he like gets like angry
21:24
nick cage snarl for the rest of the film what
21:27
was what was the doctor yeah what was he saying
21:29
no to like i don't know to tell us that we're
21:33
out of coke every attempted every attempt at
21:37
an emotional beat in this film is just the film
21:40
leaving out crucial information yeah but i loved
21:43
i was so waiting for the other shoe to drop in
21:47
the last scene where he like wheels katie out
21:49
to the maternity ward or the baby ward the baby
21:52
room to show him to show her uh gabrielle gabriel
21:57
uh and nick cage is like he's getting fairly
22:00
unhinged and he like goes in and grabs the first
22:03
i thought the nurse was gina gershon i thought
22:06
so too i was i was waiting for a big reveal and
22:09
didn't have him like ah shit she just turns and
22:11
is like Bitch grabs the baby and jumps out a
22:14
window. She's supposedly dead at this point.
22:17
But then when Nick Cage goes in the room and
22:18
picks up that baby, because he what does he say
22:20
to Katie right before? Like he goes to see the
22:22
baby like this is the last time you'll ever see
22:24
him. And he goes in there like, is he going to
22:26
fucking spike that baby? He's going to like chuck
22:30
it up against the glass or something. Fuck your
22:33
poison dicks. I was very upset that they kept
22:39
all the babies in the end. Like, ew, god, no,
22:42
I don't want your fucking wild -ass crazy babies.
22:45
I mean, technically, they're all... All three
22:47
of these are tainted. Yeah. Yeah. Maddie has
22:50
a zero relation to you. Well, she is the sister
22:54
of Cora. Yeah. Half -sister. And then it ends
22:58
with her in that padded, solitary padded room.
23:01
What a sick -ass room, though. It was huge. I
23:04
was like, yeah, I wish I had that fucking...
23:05
Yeah, I wish I had that much space in my apartment.
23:08
Wait, my brain must have shut off. There was
23:10
a scene where she got cool padded room action.
23:13
Yeah. So it's her at the end in an asylum, presumably.
23:16
Is it like a post credit scene? No, it was before
23:19
it was before the end scene where he comes into
23:21
the bedroom. They're all like snuggled up as
23:23
a family. Awesome. This movie gave me brain damage
23:25
like before it ended, how it started with him
23:29
finishing a jog. Yeah, that's right. That was
23:32
the other thing. When he goes into the room and
23:35
like it's kind of like. Got that weird glow on
23:38
it. I'm like, oh, he's had a complete mental
23:40
collapse. Like she's actually dead. And he's
23:42
like, he's the one in the padded room imagining
23:44
like his life after his wife and baby died. How
23:47
fucking casual were those cops, by the way? Were
23:51
they just in on it? Was Brian just like offside?
23:55
Yo, dogs, this is going to be a great payout.
23:58
This is going to fucking slap. So I'm going to
24:02
wheel. The wild, crazy lady out there who just
24:05
had a C -section. But don't worry, she will stand
24:07
up and walk around and get super angry and pound
24:11
on things. Don't worry about it. Just wait. Just
24:14
wait. Your time comes. Trust me, I'm a doctor.
24:16
She'll be fine. We're going to expose. We're
24:18
going to bring out my wife, my wife, and she
24:22
is going to make things even wilder. Now you
24:26
can arrest. It's like casually walk up. Hey,
24:29
you want to cuff yourself? Oh, oh, oh, yeah,
24:32
we're here to arrest. Come on, come on, lady.
24:35
This movie sucks. It does suck. There's that
24:38
scene. OK, so the doctor comes out and is like,
24:40
oh, I'm sorry, your wife is apparently dead.
24:42
You mean the director? Is that the director?
24:44
Yeah. Oh, no, no, no. The doctor in the beginning,
24:48
the one who. sits at the picnic table twice and
24:52
doesn't say anything. Two different scenes, doesn't
24:55
talk. That's because he's a horrible actor. That
24:57
dude is the worst. This is his only directing
25:00
credit. Everything else is like acting and producing.
25:04
He is an actor. No, he's not. That guy sucked.
25:09
He was so bad. IMDB claims that he's an actor.
25:12
He had the weirdest haircut as well. Weird haircut,
25:16
weird way of delivering lines. Man, he sucked.
25:18
Jonathan Baker. Yeah. But no, the doctor who
25:22
comes out and is, you know, the slow, somber
25:24
head shake. And then immediately is Nick Cage
25:26
in the like, we're about to give you a C -section
25:28
room. Katie just like decides that this is the
25:31
time to be like, Brian, I love you. And also
25:33
I'm going to like kind of kiss your face as I'm
25:35
being tucked away from you. That's delightful.
25:40
What is going on with this movie? Wait, the the
25:43
director was. Was that the guy doing the ultrasounds?
25:48
No, the director was the one that she brought
25:50
the DNA sample to. Yeah, it's this guy. Remember
25:53
that one? Yeah, everybody at home? Yeah. This
25:56
one? Yeah, the picture that we're looking at.
25:58
Yeah. I mean, he looks cool. He looks like melanin.
26:04
No, I take it back. My phone was just crooked.
26:07
He doesn't look like anybody cool. I mean, we
26:11
can complain about any scene, pick a scene. I
26:13
can find something wrong with it. But the, the
26:17
ultrasound scene, when she like blacks out and
26:20
wakes up screaming, you thought you said it would
26:22
be safe. And like, nobody was like, dude, are
26:24
you okay? Like what, what, what happened to you?
26:26
It's like, it's okay. Nothing can hurt you now.
26:28
And he's just like, you're good. And so is the
26:30
baby. And then they just leave. Remember when
26:33
the kids bonked heads and then she's like, come
26:37
on, let's go inside and get you some Neosporin.
26:42
What? You know what fucking neosporin on just
26:44
like a bump? Just like loose neosporin on your
26:47
forehead. Come on, kid. Let me grease up that
26:49
noggin. What the fuck? That way they just glance
26:52
off each other next time. I mean, that way when
26:53
they bump heads, yeah, they slide off each other.
26:55
It's fine. That's why I always grease up my babies.
27:00
Just a bunch of greasy babies. This movie was
27:03
a high school film class assignment and every.
27:08
Every student got to write one scene, and the
27:11
only thing they knew about the scenes before
27:13
theirs and after theirs was through the telephone
27:15
game, so they kind of had the information they
27:18
needed. It's like that art exercise of an exquisite
27:20
corpse where you only get part of the picture
27:22
that somebody else has drawn, and then you're
27:23
like, well, I'll draw from that, and then you
27:25
fold it again, you hand it to the next person,
27:27
they continue it on. Yeah. There are two kids
27:30
who got B pluses for writing this film. The ones
27:33
who had the boobs? Nailed it. Oh, yeah. OK. Speaking
27:37
of burying the lead on boobs. So there's that
27:39
scene in the beginning where he's going to go
27:42
to work. Right. And she's like, make sure you
27:44
say, you know, something to Beth or whatever.
27:47
It's her birthday. And he's like, wait, which
27:49
one? She's like the redhead with the big. He's
27:52
like, oh, yeah, the big the big boobs. Then when
27:55
they show the work, they never show the fucking
27:58
big boob lady. They couldn't find one. Couldn't
28:01
find a hot redhead with big boobs. Which is ridiculous.
28:04
Yeah, come on. Dime a dozen. Maybe that's why
28:09
they didn't show it. Maybe. Too common. Maybe
28:12
she was also wearing a shitty wig. I'm curious.
28:14
Does anybody have anything good? Is there something
28:17
about this movie that was like, OK, that was
28:20
fine. I thought Gina Gershon did an OK job. Yeah.
28:24
Again, I love the last 10 minutes of this movie.
28:26
Again, as soon as like Dr. Shade had. head shake
28:29
comes out and it's like and uh we're like Angela's
28:33
dead I was laughing my ass off because I'm like
28:35
this movie just it this is like shark jumping
28:39
territory for like how this is because like she's
28:44
not dead so like when's she gonna pop out like
28:46
how are we gonna like I was like I was giddy
28:49
for how that was gonna pay off I do like so in
28:52
the scene before they go to the hospital um when
28:55
uh Katie like drags herself onto the knife i
29:00
was like okay that's that's kind of cool scene
29:02
and then anytime somebody crazy starts beating
29:05
themselves up to look like somebody else beat
29:07
them up i'm like all right yeah that header she
29:09
took into the counter was a pretty serious one
29:11
yeah that was probably the best acting of the
29:13
film yeah i know it's what i wanted to do at
29:17
the same time uh so i i emotionally connected
29:20
with somebody trying to give themselves brain
29:23
trauma Okay, one more thing that I did like.
29:26
I did like that Katie covered up Angela in all
29:29
the pictures. I like the amount of petty work
29:32
that went into that. Just rearranged the entire
29:36
fridge. Wait, what the fuck? Why am I not in
29:38
any of these pictures anymore? Did anyone look
29:41
up where the fit lady is from? The best friend?
29:46
Linda? No, Natalie Ava Marie was the actress.
29:51
I don't remember. She's a professional wrestler.
29:53
She's WWE. That's all of her credits besides
29:56
this and a late Bruce Willis film. It looks like.
30:00
Oh, nice. Which one? I've watched a lot of late
30:03
Bruce Willis films. Hard kill. They're all better
30:06
than this. Hard kill. Hard kill. She plays Sasha
30:11
Zendel. nice all right let's watch that and then
30:17
talk about that for a minute uh no i don't want
30:20
to watch any late late era late era bruce willis
30:23
i thought that i mean not that we we got very
30:26
many scenes with her but i i thought she stacked
30:30
up as as an actor yeah yeah i i could have used
30:37
a little like nick cage was just kind of in a
30:39
supporting role i could have used more nick cage
30:41
and also from the scene where she came home,
30:44
like high as fuck on pills and made a big scene
30:48
to the end of the movie, we had any opportunity
30:51
for Nick cage to just do a total freak out, a
30:55
classic Nick cage, just screaming at everybody
30:57
going berserk. And we didn't get it. And that,
31:00
that was kind of lame too. Yeah. He really should
31:03
have popped off on those pills that way. Um,
31:07
I love that. She, here's, here's a, the scene
31:10
I loved, uh, When she got drugged up and like
31:14
passed out for like two and a half hours, just
31:17
slumped over on the wheel of her car running
31:21
foot on the brake. Luckily. Yeah. And it's like,
31:24
it's fucking Ohio. This is relaxed. Like not
31:28
a single cop. Nobody like she's on the side of
31:31
the road near a hospital. No one is just like.
31:35
And nothing. That's so cool. I love Ohio. Ohio,
31:39
you rock. Everybody lives in country club manor
31:42
houses with cool ass like the like New Orleans
31:47
style fire lamps out front. I don't think this
31:51
was filmed in Ohio. That house was so echoey
31:56
when they were in the like entryway. Every scene
31:59
they recorded there, it's like everybody's like
32:02
lines are echoing. Yeah, you guys. Put a lot
32:06
of thought into this. What was the budget for
32:08
this? Do you want to guess? Well, I know that
32:11
Nick Cage presumably was paid five million in
32:13
a briefcase. Probably, yes. He gets to keep the
32:17
briefcase. He's moved up. I read that they only
32:20
had a 15 day window to shoot. They certainly
32:26
got done inside of that. I don't know. I mean.
32:32
It shouldn't have even been 5 million. Yeah,
32:35
it's more than 5 million. Whoa. 12 .8. Yeah.
32:40
STV, I assume. I mean, STV and then also like
32:45
limited theater release. I'm sure there was.
32:48
50 screens in the country showing yeah it was
32:51
shown in the high school theater where it was
32:54
written it was just shown in the back of the
32:56
manor house where they shot it wheeled out a
33:00
fucking sheet and threw it up on a projector
33:03
yeah it's it's pretty fucking bad this is one
33:06
of those where i was like i'm glad this didn't
33:09
end up in the bracket as like a lark because
33:11
i remember watching the trailer for it and being
33:13
like this looks maybe interesting you know it's
33:16
not oh boy yeah yeah i mean it just it it felt
33:21
like it was produced by like tnt yeah and and
33:27
it's funny the the reason that i was kind of
33:29
excited to have you on for this orc was that
33:32
you well because you you are thanks man you are
33:36
known to have watched like a lot of hallmarky
33:38
type videos hell yeah you know those are pretty
33:41
low budget this was this was not the rom -com
33:44
i was looking for yeah it's not the rom -com
33:49
any of us were looking for see now now we've
33:51
got a good prequel though for it because we could
33:53
have a rom -com prequel that would totally lead
33:56
into this oh yeah i mean you could get two prequels
33:58
out of it one for stealing maddie and then one
34:02
for killing uh poor production value egg lady
34:07
i mean plus we've got yeah i mean well that could
34:09
be a psych thriller all on its own we have a
34:11
whole universe we can work with it's true the
34:13
inconceivable universe you got three ticking
34:16
time bombs with those crazy babies that's right
34:20
i work i work at a high school now i could probably
34:22
get some kids to write scripts OK, if you could
34:28
replace one movie from the bracket and slot this
34:32
in in exactly that movie's place. I don't remember
34:36
matchups left behind. You would swap out left
34:39
behind. You'd rather watch this. Those are two
34:41
movies that I think made me the most miserable.
34:43
Like Doggy Dog. I hated I hated that movie so
34:46
much. Another movie that she was in. Yeah. Both
34:48
of those movies. Both of those movies she was
34:50
in. And I hated both of those movies. Doggy Dog.
34:52
Like. repulsed me but in a way in a way that
34:56
i was like there's maybe something worth watching
34:58
again here part of me almost watched dog eat
35:01
dog this morning just to get the taste of inconceivable
35:04
out of my mouth and my eyes i tasted my eyes
35:07
today but yeah left behind is i think the one
35:10
that i would pick because it's just like they're
35:11
both horrible pieces of shit i would swap out
35:15
the crudes to throw this into like the comedy
35:18
or whatever the children's section yeah it involves
35:23
kids yeah it's a kids movie whatever it's all
35:25
about kids and boobs i would take out the runner
35:29
just because i don't remember anything about
35:31
the runner other than its name oh yeah oh that's
35:34
one of the few ones that i actually didn't watch
35:36
for this project yeah what was the runner it
35:40
was like something like he was like running for
35:42
congress or like yeah but he like it was after
35:45
katrina and he was in a sex scandal was lawrence
35:49
fishburne in it oh yeah it was the sex scandal
35:51
one wow that movie is so forgettable no we have
35:55
lawrence fishburne movies coming up oh okay yeah
35:57
i mean they have very similar like cover art
36:00
yeah they look like i'm gonna watch these movies
36:03
do at this point yeah i mean it's all that like
36:06
weird think tank naming convention for the movies
36:08
that doesn't make any sense you know I just kept
36:13
waiting for... Oh, wait, I get it. Inconceivable.
36:16
Oh, because you can't conceive. Oh, it's actually
36:19
clever. Oh, man, I didn't get it. Oh, God. Oh,
36:26
this movie did one thing right. This movie fucking
36:28
rules. I also just kept calling the movie imbecile
36:31
in my head. I was waiting for the Princess Bride
36:35
guy to show up. Yeah, exactly. You mean Wallace
36:38
Shawn? Inconceivable. I love Wallace Shawn. Fucking
36:42
rules. Then we could have had Andre the Giant
36:45
just at the end. I don't think this movie was
36:47
as good like you think it was. Andre the Giant's
36:49
corpse? Yeah, just wheel his fucking skeleton
36:54
out. Weekend at Bernie's, I'm in. It's basically
36:58
just those big Home Depot skeletons, right? My
37:01
fucking landlord made us take down our stupid
37:04
12 -foot skeleton. A skeleton's not stupid. My
37:07
landlord's stupid. Yeah, what the fuck? too many
37:09
uh open units that he's got right there like
37:12
the our neighbor is moving out and then like
37:15
the person right next like across the driveway
37:18
from them empty so he's like gonna have to take
37:22
that down it's like you fuck that tool the second
37:26
everything all those units are full put it back
37:29
oh it's going right back up it's waiting in the
37:31
garage there's a six foot tall spider at the
37:33
end of that driveway Yeah, your skeleton is the
37:37
least thing to be concerned about. Yeah, that's
37:40
true. Well, let's see. Or do you have any any
37:43
other thoughts on this movie? Or other movies
37:47
that are good? I mean, I wouldn't watch it again.
37:55
I hope to forget this movie. I thought that of
38:00
all the Nick Cage movies that I got to watch.
38:04
over the past how many years this has been going
38:07
for three four years four years i thought captain
38:11
corelli's mandolin was the one that i was like
38:13
this is the most pointless it's another fascist
38:16
sympathizer there's nothing about this movie
38:18
that needed to be put onto a screen for people
38:23
to watch but this inconceivable takes that and
38:28
goes so far with it i mean it just there's nothing
38:31
about this movie that was redeemable There's
38:34
really nothing good to say about it. I think
38:37
it's not even so bad that you can be like, man,
38:41
it's kind of funny because it took itself pretty
38:44
seriously. It's like they tried. They tried for
38:48
this. Oh, yeah. It is aggressively bad. Oh, and
38:52
even like the music is just that sort of like
38:54
ambient nothing finger picking guitar. It sucks.
38:57
The whole thing sucks. It sounds like the way
39:00
the director looks. only good at it yeah it's
39:05
like oh no that's not quite right like i i i
39:08
mean this sounds so judgmental um but like not
39:12
watching a bad watching a bad movie you know
39:15
it can be bad that it's funny it can be bad like
39:16
that you're just sort of angry that it ever got
39:18
made and this was boring and you're just sort
39:20
of like everybody involved with this was clearly
39:22
just Because there should have been somebody
39:26
that was like, guys, this just doesn't work.
39:28
This sucks. This is like this is really we need
39:30
to stop and do something else. Like just burn
39:33
the script. Let's we have Nick Cage here. Let
39:35
him shout a little bit. There was nothing good
39:38
to say about this movie. It just it was it's
39:41
just a waste of time. Yeah, it commits the sin
39:44
that you always talk about, Sean, where it's
39:45
just like it's not good enough to be anything
39:48
and it's not bad enough to be fun to watch. You
39:50
know, exactly. It's just a. sad wet fart oh man
39:55
oh we didn't even talk about like brian's mom
39:58
this whole time right faye dunaway yeah faye
40:01
dunaway with her crazy ass like clearly not brian's
40:05
mom i mean a free weekend like what was going
40:08
on i don't know dude like that's the thing is
40:11
like we've sort of asked this question before
40:12
like why do some people end up in these movies
40:14
like gina gershon i can kind of understand it's
40:16
like nikki whalen you know bad actor small career
40:19
whatever but like Faye Dunaway is a pretty classic
40:22
actor and Nick Cage is a good actor. But like
40:26
what made him do this? I think it's money, money
40:29
and timing. It's like it's in a location where
40:32
they're not upset about being for X amount of
40:35
time. And 15 days, apparently. I mean, you get
40:40
paid a couple million. Yeah, it feels like. It
40:42
was a stopover on a flight to Louisiana for him.
40:45
Yeah. Just heading down for Mardi Gras. He's
40:48
like, I'll pop in for a weekend, crank out all
40:51
these shots. ABC, always be cranking. That works
40:55
better than ABJ. Yeah, you're right. All right.
40:59
Sean, 60 seconds. Yep. Donnie, flow runner. An
41:34
egg donor seeks out and kills the recipients
41:35
of her eggs who don't live up to her standards.
41:37
Katie cozies up to the Morgans, two doctors who
41:40
need a surrogate. Katie, who continues to act
41:42
like a villain, has her motives questioned at
41:43
every turn until the plot requires everyone ignore
41:46
protagonist Angela's concerns. But it's okay,
41:48
because she's a woman and used to have a pill
41:50
problem. This film comes with both twist and
41:54
turn by showing out of context scenes or half
41:57
flashbacks that make Katie look like a victim
41:59
rather than a killer. Ultimately, what gives
42:01
Katie away is her signature calling card, a months
42:04
long mural that she paints in the homes and offices
42:06
of her victims. All in all, a rather conceivably
42:09
dull affair whose only high point is the surreal
42:11
twist ending after the film once again lies to
42:14
the viewer for a cheap emotional gut punch. Katie's
42:17
orchestration of Angela's murder, which is immediately.
42:20
reversed as angela is alive and not only gets
42:23
her son but katie's daughter as katie is hauled
42:25
off to the loony bin and we'll put four seconds
42:27
of fart noises at the end to fill that last bit
42:30
i love it just okay so if you if you gave me
42:33
that and asked can you make a movie out of this
42:35
i'd be like hell yeah right but they didn't oh
42:40
they did not so but the other okay so the other
42:43
thing about this we haven't talked about that
42:46
woman all these dead women have That painting
42:50
in their home or office. And no one said bunk.
42:53
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Big ass like fucking calling
42:56
card in every one of these crime scenes. Also,
42:59
that lady does not understand how to draw a giraffe.
43:02
Everything about the paintings look, you know,
43:05
fine for a children's room mural. Sure. And then
43:07
a giraffe. The shittiest, like really crap. So
43:11
did she do the same mural? twice did i hate it
43:14
was it was a night scene in one of them uh in
43:19
in maddie's room and then uh in daytime and then
43:25
like no animals in the first one in the egg donor
43:28
one yeah oh man okay don't watch this movie anybody
43:33
ever So next up, we've got a movie called 2 -1
43:40
-1, which I'm assuming is some sort of like cop
43:43
code, but I didn't bother looking it up. And
43:46
I did read one review on IMDb from Craig Newman,
43:50
1973. He said, you like wood? Great. Boy, I'm
43:58
in already. This is terrific. I love wood. Great.
44:02
Just check out the acting in this abomination.
44:05
A shame is the camera work is actually OK, but
44:07
the bloody acting, if you can call it that, is
44:09
so stilted and forced, it's untrue. Nice. I already
44:14
hate his review of it because he said bloody.
44:17
Yeah, fair enough. Sorry, British people. Invalid.
44:22
all right yeah so anyway thanks for listening
44:25
to this one um we'll be back in two weeks and
44:28
uh if you are interested in supporting us on
44:30
patreon we are there at cage match pod and thank
44:33
you to our sparkle buddies josh josie matt adam
44:35
ah uh bill stewart and willow and to our cage
44:39
dancers john freeman nathan and cameron and to
44:43
bill panks for our intro music um thank you we
44:47
watched it so you don't have to Yeah, we just
44:50
make a new pot or rename this podcast. Fucking
44:53
listen, don't watch. Listen, don't watch. It's
44:56
fine. Yeah. Is Nick just taking a huge duker?
45:11
I don't know. It wouldn't be the first time at
45:14
my house, but maybe it is. I don't know. No,
45:17
it's definitely not. yeah it can't be you pooped
45:21
at my house before right he's probably probably
45:23
vaping back there these youths love to vape