Latest / The Kink Consultant / Ep 28 - Sharing Real Intimacy Online: Ben and Jas on Relationships, Sex, and Communication
Transcript
- 0:08It's the King Consultant podcast where we're turning up the heat
- 0:11on all things kink and dating, relationships and pop culture.
- 0:14So close the door, plugging your headphones and let's get down to
- 0:17it. Hey everyone and welcome to this
- 0:24week's episode of The Kink Consultant.
- 0:26Delighted to have Ben and Jazz here.
- 0:29I am a follower of theirs on Instagram and I am obsessed with
- 0:34a couple of the series they have going.
- 0:35So welcome Ben and Jazz. Excited to get into this with
- 0:39you all today. Thank you.
- 0:40Thanks. For having us so.
- 0:41Excited. No way you're as excited as I
- 0:44am. I feel like you're celebrities
- 0:46and I watch your lives and I'm obsessed with both of you.
- 0:50So it's really a pleasure and super exciting to be here today.
- 0:54So I originally found you both. My sister actually sent your
- 0:58account to me and she said I think you will like them.
- 1:02I was obviously I was like, yes, of course.
- 1:04A couple talking so openly about their sex life, duh.
- 1:07I want to know how you got started.
- 1:09Like it's a big jump for a couple to go online and talk
- 1:14about their lives so openly. Honestly, we fell into it in a
- 1:18weird little originally I had an only fans a very long time ago,
- 1:21had it for like a while. It was kind of on and off using
- 1:24it. And then we got together.
- 1:26I was like, what did you point with me?
- 1:27And you were like, yeah. And I was like, OK, cool.
- 1:29And then we like sort of talked about it back and forth and I
- 1:31was like, oh, maybe I got like a little Instagram.
- 1:33The first video we ever did that went viral was actually a bigger
- 1:36about me asking Ben, what's the thing that you hate most about
- 1:40me? Or what's the thing that I
- 1:41dislike Yeah most about you? And it has like 7.7 million
- 1:46views or something. And it was basically been saying
- 1:48that I can be quite selfish sometimes.
- 1:50And I've been like, like, fair, like, Oh my God.
- 1:55And not just kind of took off. And I was like, oh, this is
- 1:57interesting. Like maybe people aren't used to
- 2:00listening to conversations that you would never normally care
- 2:02about. I think in a big frustration, a
- 2:04big frustration for us is seeing couples online and only posting
- 2:08the good stuff because, like, everyone always compares their
- 2:11life to what they see online. And that's super, super
- 2:14dangerous. Yeah.
- 2:15As just was saying, like, after that video popped off, we
- 2:17started having these discussions around what if we put everything
- 2:21online in terms of the good, the bad, the ugly, and try and show
- 2:24people that it's OK to have disagreements, that it's OK to
- 2:27have different views, but it's all about how you communicate
- 2:30that. Yeah.
- 2:31And that was kind of like how it sort of.
- 2:33Yeah, it went from that to having these that people
- 2:36normally wouldn't have to then going, OK, what's the next
- 2:39conversation we could have that people wouldn't have?
- 2:41And it was he didn't like that I did in the bedroom and what I
- 2:44didn't like about what he did in the bedroom.
- 2:46And that figure did really, really well.
- 2:47And I was like, OK, this is interesting.
- 2:49People don't really talk about sex with their partners that
- 2:52often. Like it's a very temporary
- 2:53subject even within a relationship For me, like as a
- 2:56woman, you barely talk about that with partners, especially
- 2:59if they're not comfortable to talk about it.
- 3:00And then we started talking about that.
- 3:02And then we're kind of like, all right, let's do some more like
- 3:04different ideas, videos around sex.
- 3:07It just kept growing from there. And the more it got bigger, the
- 3:10more we were like, OK, we'll start to like tape it down now.
- 3:12And then we went from like 50,000 to like 70,000.
- 3:15We're like stop, slip down now. And then it went to 100,000 and
- 3:18we're like, Oh my God. We're like, ah, it's so funny
- 3:22because they're both very like awkward people.
- 3:24I feel we're like, wow, this is really interesting.
- 3:27And people meet you in person. You're like, I really remember
- 3:29it wasn't super awkward. So did you do porn together 1st
- 3:33and then started making content on Instagram?
- 3:36Yeah, actually. So, yeah, because, yeah, because
- 3:38you had the only things beforehand, so you already had
- 3:40like a big following online prior to us getting together.
- 3:44Yeah. So we just started doing that
- 3:46for fun because we're both very sexually opening confident
- 3:49people. So we started targeting just the
- 3:51existing platform that Jazz had on OF and.
- 3:54Yeah. And then we realized, oh, we can
- 3:57really kind of like do more. And and then I think it was more
- 4:00like we were very passionate about being able to help couples
- 4:02and just people in general communicate better in the
- 4:04bedroom because obviously you've you've had some pretty poor
- 4:07experiences. Yeah.
- 4:08You know, had poor experiences myself and hear stories from my
- 4:11mates and stuff like that. And I'm like, well, the thing
- 4:13that always comes back is communication, right?
- 4:15Like women want to feel safe in the bedroom once they feel safe,
- 4:18if they're willing to do more, and then the man gets more of
- 4:21what his desires are. So instead of trying to force
- 4:24that, talk about it. Yeah.
- 4:26That's kind of the basis of everything that we kind of
- 4:28started off of that too, is like, you know, yeah.
- 4:30Communication. I love the long answer version
- 4:33because the idea that women feeling safe is what is going to
- 4:37open them up in the bedroom. Or at least it brings out the
- 4:41exploration that I think men are taught, oh, this is what you
- 4:45should be doing or something like that.
- 4:46Under pressure put on people to like explore in the bedroom and
- 4:50be adventurous. But in order to do that, people
- 4:52are always skipping over the safety talk or just feeling safe
- 4:55and trust. Trust is the big one for me.
- 4:57I'm like you need to be able to trust each other.
- 5:00There can be a lot of guys that feel super like not fulfilled in
- 5:03the bedroom and we get messages all the time of guys being like,
- 5:06how do I get my girlfriend to give me a blowjob?
- 5:08And I'm like, have you spoken to her?
- 5:10You can kind of tell this disconnect between like, I want
- 5:12this, but how do I get it? And it's like, well, how do you
- 5:16approach that with your partner and make them feel safe about
- 5:17it? Like, why don't they want to
- 5:18give you a blowjob? Like is there a reason why
- 5:20they're not feeling like they want to?
- 5:21Do they not feel like they're getting enough from like you and
- 5:24the relationship and from what you're giving them sexually?
- 5:27Like there's so many different factors that go in it rather
- 5:30than just, my partner doesn't want to give me a blowjob.
- 5:33It's like, well, there's probably a reason behind it and
- 5:35like, you've got to sit down and figure that out.
- 5:36Yeah, that's a really good point.
- 5:39You exemplify this by having these conversations as you
- 5:43referenced before you started recording them.
- 5:45Were you both curious about each other in this way?
- 5:48Like, were you constantly asking questions?
- 5:50Yeah. When we first started dating, we
- 5:52would talk about pretty much anything and everything.
- 5:55Yeah, in terms of like what we wanted for our relationship.
- 5:58There was a point where we were talking about being in an open
- 6:00relationship didn't down that path since I'm way too jealous.
- 6:03Like we spoke about all these things that were like, you know,
- 6:06is even monogamy right for us? Like is it not right for us?
- 6:09Like we had conversations around porn.
- 6:10We had conversations around what we both liked in the bedroom.
- 6:13Like you would always be like, OK, cool.
- 6:15Did you like that? Was that OK?
- 6:16Like you concentrating this Like it was very much conversations
- 6:20around what we wanted to try and what we liked.
- 6:23And then even after we finished having sex, we'd talk about it
- 6:26and be like, oh, how was that? Like what did we like about
- 6:29that? Or if we're talking.
- 6:30About a good debrief. It's hard to relive it again.
- 6:33You love it in great detail. It's like having a fool at the
- 6:37end to like, yeah, how was this, I mean.
- 6:40Like, why wouldn't you want to talk about something fun and
- 6:42exciting? It's like when you go on a
- 6:43roller coaster or something new and fresh and exciting, you're
- 6:45like, oh, I want to talk about it again and relive it.
- 6:47Why not do the same with great sex?
- 6:49Like you get to relive it and then you learn more about the
- 6:52other person and then you get to take that into the next time.
- 6:54It's even better. Yeah, so you just keep upping
- 6:56the ante on each other. Yeah, this feedback loop, but
- 7:00similar to the well, the selfish conversation or what do you not
- 7:04love about me? How do you feel when you get
- 7:07negative feedback? Constructive criticism.
- 7:10We'll call it constructive criticism.
- 7:12I think it really depends. Like sometimes we are really
- 7:14good at communicating with each other.
- 7:15Sometimes we're really bad at communicating with each other.
- 7:18And like it can go up and down in that way.
- 7:20I guess it really depends. Like there was a time where like
- 7:23I think you were going down on me and I was like kind of felt
- 7:25like you didn't want to and you were like what?
- 7:26No, like not at all. I don't remember you being a
- 7:28little bit like, oh, I was a bit taken back by that.
- 7:30Like I didn't think that. But like you weren't angry or
- 7:34mad that I was like, oh, it felt like you weren't wanting to.
- 7:38You were just like, oh, I was a little taken back and like a
- 7:40little bit like, oh, damn, because I really wanted that to
- 7:43make you feel good. But you weren't angry.
- 7:44But. You know, there's no reason for
- 7:46me to be. But I think anytime like we have
- 7:48negative feedback like you've told me when like you're like
- 7:50OK, blow jobs, like I would like it this way and I'm like, OK,
- 7:53that's fine. But like we never get angry
- 7:55about that. Like it's just kind of like a,
- 7:57it might be disappointing because you're like, I was
- 7:59trying really hard or like, I really had this intention and
- 8:03that might make you feel sad, but then it's not like an anger
- 8:05after because then that person feels like they can't say it
- 8:08again, if that makes sense. Yeah, I.
- 8:10Want to commend you Jazz for even saying in the 1st place
- 8:13like oh it felt like you didn't want to do that.
- 8:16Like a lot of people, I think would bury that.
- 8:18I think I used to, but like, you're very good with talking to
- 8:22me about that stuff that you would rather know than not know.
- 8:25Absolutely, yeah. Anyone who goes in thinking they
- 8:28know everything and then they're the greatest at it.
- 8:30Red flag anyway, you're going to get better at it is through
- 8:32communication like why would you want to continue to do the same
- 8:35thing if it's not great, tell me what you like tell me what works
- 8:39like yes, it can sting at times because you're like, oh, I
- 8:41thought I really nailed that. But just like anything,
- 8:43sometimes it's going to be phenomenal.
- 8:45Other times it's not so talk about the time, like talk about
- 8:48both, but especially when it's not great so you can learn
- 8:51because then it just gets better and better I.
- 8:53Think with other partners as well.
- 8:54I used to not be like that. Like I would absolutely bury it
- 8:57and be like, OK that's fine. Like I was so uncomfortable with
- 9:01either if I didn't like something or like everyone's
- 9:04like, different or like I was even sometimes like really
- 9:07uncomfortable to come. Like it was just like a really
- 9:09weird trust thing. But yeah, I've never had that
- 9:11since being with you. Because I think you're very
- 9:12like, open in terms of talking about what we liked and didn't
- 9:15like. And even if you think a
- 9:17session's badge and like, oh, sorry, that wasn't the best.
- 9:19And I'm like, no, it was really good.
- 9:20Like, what do you mean? They're very open to be like
- 9:23that. Probably wasn't like our best
- 9:24session, but they're not always going to be like that.
- 9:27Sometimes they're going to be the most amazing thing we've
- 9:29ever had their entire lives, and sometimes it might not be the
- 9:31best session ever, which is so fun, yeah.
- 9:34There's no right or wrong. I agree completely, there is no
- 9:36right or wrong and the open communication without bringing
- 9:40your ego into it is really helpful when you're not getting
- 9:43angry. It's really just not letting
- 9:44your ego affect hearing the feedback.
- 9:46Sure. That's a very good point
- 9:47actually your. Work sort of overlaps with your
- 9:51sex life, right? Your organic sex life?
- 9:53I'm so curious about how you balance that.
- 9:56I have two questions #1 how many times a week are you having sex
- 10:00#2 how many times a week is it that it is just for fun and
- 10:04there's no agenda of we need to get through this for whatever
- 10:08series we're running it really. Changes because I find that like
- 10:11my libido really flows with like my cycle.
- 10:15I end a cycle, don't really want to be touched.
- 10:18I'm like like, no, I'm not really feeling it.
- 10:21Start of like pretty much the half week of my period, start of
- 10:24like the new cycle and like every day jumping and then like
- 10:27attacking bed every second. And then like, Oh my God.
- 10:30So it really changes. Like it can be like literally 5
- 10:32* a week, 6 * a week. It could be multiple times a
- 10:35day. And then it could be like once a
- 10:36week. And it will really depend on
- 10:38like the cycle and how we're feeling.
- 10:40I completely agree. Like obviously like there's a
- 10:42lot of external factors as well with like things that are going
- 10:45on that determine our libido drives.
- 10:47But yeah, it's very organic and it flows.
- 10:48It could be 678910 times. But I think it's like the thing
- 10:52we've really learnt like on like sex in terms of like we've done
- 10:56that challenge. We had sex for 30 days straight
- 10:58is but us it's never about the the quantity is about the
- 11:01quality. So like if we're not feeling it
- 11:04because of whatever reason, if like we're both working and
- 11:06super stressed, we're never going to pressure each other to
- 11:09have sex because it's like, OK, that session's probably not
- 11:11going to be great, but really changes depending on my cycle
- 11:14and definitely with you as well. I don't know if you react to my
- 11:16cycle or you're just kind of like respecting what.
- 11:18You're both, Yeah. Like, because I mean like, I
- 11:20can't even imagine what it would be like having a period.
- 11:22So the last thing I want to do is like before or after it's
- 11:25coming my. Boobs are like no.
- 11:29That's a lot of empathy, Like, oh, I don't know what it's like
- 11:31to have a period. So like, let me now pressure
- 11:33that person. Yeah, because sometimes I'm just
- 11:35like, please don't touch my baby.
- 11:36He's like this or so like or something happening.
- 11:38I'm like, no, but in terms of how we balance our sex life and
- 11:43then only fans life, it took a long time I feel because there
- 11:46was a period that we were like we have to go on everything.
- 11:49We've got to make sure we have every life in a video up and
- 11:51like we would have sex to film. Obviously we'd have sex other
- 11:55times, but like we would be like cool, we're prepping to like
- 11:57film and we're sort of really learnt with us.
- 12:00We take way longer to do costumes than anybody else
- 12:03because we wait until we're feeling like doing that costume.
- 12:06We're like, OK, cool, this is a costume we have to do.
- 12:08And it could be anal, it could be role play, it could be
- 12:12anything. And we're like, cool, we're
- 12:13gonna wait until we're feeling like we want to film that type
- 12:16of video. And then one, the video is more
- 12:18authentic, but two, we actually don't enjoy it and it's like
- 12:20fun. For us, I think that then also
- 12:22like has an onflow effect to the relationship too.
- 12:25So yeah, we're very patient with that sort of stuff.
- 12:27Yes, it does piss off some people at times, but at the end
- 12:29of the day, like our relationship will always come
- 12:31first. We probably have sex for
- 12:33ourselves more than we do for only fans.
- 12:37Maybe 1/4 of the time is when we film finally fans.
- 12:40Like when we're like, oh, you know, we're feeling like we want
- 12:42to film this. Or if there's times where we
- 12:45feel like we've been filming too much, we'll be like, oh, we're
- 12:47not filming this session. Yeah, this is this is purely for
- 12:49us to reconnect. So I would say, yeah, probably
- 12:51like a 7030 or at best in terms of like filming ratio to not
- 12:56filming. Because it is well, like if I oh
- 12:58cool, like we should film this and you're like, we should do
- 13:00this for ourselves. I'm OK, That's fine.
- 13:02Like you would normally say that or I would be like, yeah, no,
- 13:05like I'm not feeling like filming it.
- 13:06Let's just do it for ourselves. I've kind of learned that we
- 13:08don't have to film all of the time.
- 13:10Like it's fine to kind of take steps for ourselves.
- 13:12And also like our job is very based on like whether we are
- 13:15connecting. So like if we're not able to
- 13:18connect because we're constantly filming these videos, like
- 13:20putting pressure on ourselves, then we're not able to like do
- 13:23our jobs. We've really kind of learned
- 13:25that like our relationship is like the most important thing
- 13:27because that relies on us doing our job.
- 13:29So our relationship has to be good, or like that has to be
- 13:32good, but we have to keep working on it because that
- 13:35connection is what drives the rest of our life.
- 13:39All right, Kingster, let's talk about pleasure.
- 13:42Not just mine, yours too. If you're enjoying this episode
- 13:46of The King Consultant, I need you to do me a little favor and
- 13:49I promise it'll feel oh so good. Take a second and give this
- 13:53podcast a five star rating. Just imagine your finger sliding
- 13:57all over that fifth star, pressing down, giving it exactly
- 14:01the kind of attention deserves. Yeah, that's it.
- 14:05And you know what happens when you do?
- 14:07I get all hot and bothered knowing you're out there showing
- 14:10your appreciation. Plus, every time you leave a
- 14:12review, a naughty little brat somewhere gets that spanking
- 14:16they've been begging for. So be a good listener and tap
- 14:19that star, won't you? Thanks, love.
- 14:22Now let's get back to the fun. So it's interesting because it's
- 14:29not just that you each have to give feedback on whether or not
- 14:32you're in the mood to have sex, then you need to qualify with
- 14:36her. Not this is for only fans or for
- 14:38personal life. The way you describe it, it
- 14:40almost sounds more helpful, like you're really taking the
- 14:42personal aspect out of it. I know for some people,
- 14:45including myself, if I'm rejected from sex, I have to
- 14:48remind myself it's not personal, it's how the other person is
- 14:51feeling. And it sounds like it is so much
- 14:54a natural part of how you both operate and communicate.
- 14:57I don't know, sounds idyllic really.
- 14:59Maybe like it's not as hard then to have to like get over the
- 15:02rejection. We definitely don't get it right
- 15:05every single time. And there is times that we
- 15:07definitely feel rejected. Like you've come to me a few
- 15:09times where I'm like, look, I'm just not in the mood because of
- 15:12for whatever reason. And I'm like, Oh no.
- 15:14And then you've come back. You're like, oh really?
- 15:15You know, that kind of got me. And I'm like, oh, I'm sorry.
- 15:17Like it had nothing to do with you.
- 15:19It's just because like if XY and Z, I'm stressed or tired or I
- 15:22didn't sleep well or I've got this on my mind, that sort of
- 15:26stuff. Most of the time I do. 9 times
- 15:28out of 10 you're good. It definitely does sting at
- 15:30times. Like you don't, you can't get it
- 15:31right every single time, but. You're in person?
- 15:34Yeah. Feelings.
- 15:35For the most part, we always do remember that these
- 15:37conversations, no matter how uncomfortable or painful that it
- 15:40can be, it always leads to us getting closer or getting us
- 15:43what we want ultimately. Most feel as well when you're
- 15:46like, hey, like we're kind of on the merit.
- 15:48I just wanna like cuddle or whatever it is.
- 15:50If we just like sit down and we're cuddling pages and you get
- 15:53horny anyway, yeah, so it's pretty like we're just kind of
- 15:56cuddle. I wanna dig into the 30 days of
- 15:58sex. Yeah.
- 16:00Were you allowed to say no? We we sat down and we really
- 16:03talked about it at the start and mapped out how this would work
- 16:07despite someone might not feeling it.
- 16:09Right. So we kind of came up with the
- 16:11idea that over the next 30 days, at minimum, one of us have to be
- 16:16able to get off. Yeah.
- 16:17So that way, if one of us wasn't really feeling it, we could
- 16:21still complete the challenge. With the 30 years of fucking, it
- 16:24wasn't like sex is just intercourse.
- 16:27It's like sex is full place. Sex is like you going down on me
- 16:31or me going down on you or like hand jobs or whatever.
- 16:33It is like sex isn't just penis. No, it's like some people think
- 16:36it's everything else that is involved around sex is very much
- 16:40like a connection thing. So we're like, OK, cool.
- 16:41When we do this challenge, it isn't just gonna be about
- 16:44intercourse or like a penis in a vagina.
- 16:46It's about trying to find other avenues as well to get each
- 16:50other off and to have that connection.
- 16:52There were definitely times where we were like, it's been
- 16:54like 15 days in a row and like, I'm tired or you're gonna go
- 16:58like, I'm just going down a new shot.
- 16:59I'd be like, cool. And then the next time I'd be
- 17:01like, OK, then I'm just going to go down on you or whatever.
- 17:03And then we'll be able to have somewhat of a break.
- 17:05Yeah, the first one was really fun and and somewhat
- 17:08challenging, but the second one was torture.
- 17:10It's so. Hard.
- 17:11And I don't think you and I were really on the same page with a
- 17:13lot of stuff at that time as well.
- 17:15So really challenged just to find the ways to connect to.
- 17:18So it's not for the faint of heart, that's for sure.
- 17:21So the first time you did 31 days of sex, we'll say 31 days
- 17:25of intimacy is what that was. And then the second time my
- 17:29impression would be like, oh, you've done it once, you know
- 17:32what to expect. Why was the second time?
- 17:34Torture I think because the first time we did it, we both
- 17:37worked full time so we didn't have like the worry, which
- 17:40sounds like it shouldn't be this way, but like I think because we
- 17:44work full time and like this wasn't our job.
- 17:46Like it was a kind of just like a hobby and we made some money
- 17:49on friendly fans, but not like enough for both of us to live
- 17:52off. And then the second time around
- 17:54we had just moved house. We're living in this house and
- 17:57we hated like it was so bad literally like it was 50 square
- 18:02foot like with two cats everything in that 30 days we're
- 18:05like, Oh my, we can't deal with this.
- 18:07And then we also started working full time with our businesses.
- 18:10So the stress that they're working on businesses was there
- 18:13and like then having to worry about like all that other kind
- 18:16of stuff that it just felt really hard to.
- 18:18Many layers to it. Yeah, getting like connected to
- 18:21be like, OK, we are just here to like connect and that's all we
- 18:26have to focus on. The last thing I wanted to do is
- 18:28have sex or orgasm at all because I was like, I've got so
- 18:32many other things on my mind right now.
- 18:34I'd be curious to do it again. It is a really fun challenge
- 18:37because you are kind of like learning each other and like
- 18:39understanding what each other likes and what each other don't
- 18:42like and understanding each other's libido.
- 18:44But it is very challenging because you would think like,
- 18:46oh, sex like that just brings you close together.
- 18:48It's not a challenging thing. But when you add it in like a
- 18:51you have to do it. It is actually quite
- 18:53challenging, if that makes sense.
- 18:55Absolutely. But also, like I understand when
- 18:57you're working full time, this becomes the escape, the fun side
- 19:01hustle thing. It's the business.
- 19:04It's like it it takes up a different space in your mind.
- 19:07100% I think we've really had to like take a step back to be
- 19:10like, you know what, whatever happens, happens, like it's
- 19:12fine, we'll be fine. Like and kind of take a step
- 19:15back from that and not really think of it as a business.
- 19:18Because again, to us, like when we're doing this, this isn't a
- 19:21business, but us, it's always been about like connecting in
- 19:24our relationship and then showing that to other people and
- 19:26kind of having these discussions with other people and then
- 19:28having other people talk about it and relationships and like
- 19:31feeling safe to talk about that with their partners and having
- 19:35more women understand that you can have good sex and like, you
- 19:38know, it isn't your partner to just not want to make you come
- 19:42or not make you feel safe in a relationship.
- 19:45And I think that is the main reason that we've done this.
- 19:48Obviously, like the only friends is a bonus.
- 19:50But even on there, it's really nice because like people will
- 19:53message us and just literally subscribe because they're like,
- 19:56we just love you and want to support you and that's it.
- 19:58Like when I'm here to watch videos?
- 20:00Yeah. Yeah, it's cool to see the
- 20:03effect that you can have. You're both so lovable that I
- 20:06have no doubt that you get a ton of messages like that.
- 20:09So you've done OK the 30 days of sex.
- 20:12Have you ever considered two weeks of no sex the antithesis
- 20:16of what your entire Only Fans are probably about?
- 20:19We actually have. Yeah, a lot of people want to
- 20:21say that. Yeah, I'm very open to it.
- 20:23So what is it? Absolutely makes the heart very
- 20:24fun, though. Yeah, isn't it?
- 20:25Like absolutely makes the pussy 20 up.
- 20:27Maybe that's what. You need to test jazz.
- 20:30Yeah, make the pussy hornier. Exactly, I think it'd be really
- 20:34good because we can like pre film only friends videos.
- 20:36That's fine and that's the issue.
- 20:37But like it'd be really interesting to see how we went
- 20:40for two weeks without anything after the kink challenge.
- 20:44We also were doing a challenge where we're gonna test 30
- 20:46different toys. So we're gonna like go find the
- 20:48craziest toys that we can find and just test all of them and
- 20:52like see what they're like. So maybe after that we'll do
- 20:53the. Yeah, actually, yeah, it could
- 20:55be quite good. We could do a month, but we
- 20:57always do a. Month.
- 20:57Don't do a month. I would have to do it in the
- 21:00start of my cycle because that's one of the point.
- 21:01This would be the hardest, yeah. Coming, coming out the other
- 21:03end, you're just like, yeah, that's fun.
- 21:05Yeah, I'd be like, OK, this is a nice little break, it's fine.
- 21:07But if we do at the start of my cycle, that would be so funny.
- 21:10Yeah, I might do that. Would either of you describe
- 21:12yourselves as kinky? Yeah, so I wouldn't say I'm cool
- 21:14kinky. Like I don't think I have like
- 21:16cool kinks. I think there's like levels of
- 21:18kinks, right? You like to explore, but you
- 21:20like your safe designs as well. Yeah, I'm probably a little bit
- 21:23more What? Yeah, you're definitely more
- 21:25kinky. Yeah, I feel like you're
- 21:26definitely more kinky than I am, but I'm open to trying.
- 21:30Yeah, all of the kings, but there's definitely kings that
- 21:32I'm like, no, these are like my favorites.
- 21:34What are your favourites? Definitely like sub praise king,
- 21:38mirror king. I love the mirror king.
- 21:40Yeah. What's it called?
- 21:41Yeah. Yeah.
- 21:41So you watch yourself in the mirror while you have sex?
- 21:44That was a really hot 1. I actually like that a lot more
- 21:46than I thought I would. And then there's the one that's
- 21:48like, not for like CNC kind of CNC, but not the way that you.
- 21:54You did like a little bit of CNC.
- 21:55It was like not for. Me, yeah.
- 21:56You didn't like CNC and then? I want to understand why did you
- 22:01like it, Jazz? And then we'll talk to Ben about
- 22:03why he didn't like. It it's very interesting because
- 22:06we've done two types of CNC. We actually did film it, but we
- 22:09ended up not pressing it because you were so uncomfortable and it
- 22:11was very much like a fight back type CNC.
- 22:15Like try to fight as much as you can.
- 22:17So can I ask, was it more primal or like a rape scene?
- 22:215050. Yeah, I think.
- 22:22You felt OK. Because you were like, I
- 22:25remember after we did it, you were like, how could somebody do
- 22:27this to? Sign it like to myself after
- 22:30this. That's so gross.
- 22:31Yeah. So we were like, we were never
- 22:32doing that again. I think for me, it was like, I
- 22:35really like the idea of not being in control and I really
- 22:39love the idea of not having the power when it comes to that.
- 22:42And I think because I, I know for a fact in any moment, if I
- 22:45say like, no, stop, you would stop.
- 22:47Like there's not going to be impression about it.
- 22:49So there's pretty much anything you could do to me and I'd be
- 22:51like, cool, go for it. Because I know if I'm like stop,
- 22:54then you will. But I think, yeah, you really
- 22:56struggled with like how icky it made you feel.
- 23:00Yeah, it just, I think it's like as a guy, you hear about these
- 23:03stuff that happens and you're like, oh, that's terrible, how
- 23:05could anyone do that? But then when you have to
- 23:07reenact that for somebody who has that decided fish, you kind
- 23:11of the whole thing is like, how does 1 do this?
- 23:14This is gross. I can't even find the words.
- 23:17It just makes me feel so disgusting.
- 23:19I'm just like, no, it's like a mixture of emotions.
- 23:22Rage is a big one because I'm just like, how could anyone hurt
- 23:25somebody else to this degree and be that selfish?
- 23:28And it just makes me so fucking angry.
- 23:31And then it makes me so sad as well because I'm just like,
- 23:34there is no level of words that you could describe the level of
- 23:37traumaticness that would be for the other.
- 23:39Like just the emotions are so extreme that even now I feel
- 23:44sick thinking about. It of just the non consensual
- 23:47element that actually happens in real life.
- 23:50Yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand from like a
- 23:53consensual, non consensual standpoint, the power dynamic
- 23:57and stuff. And I I respect that that works
- 24:00for some in the bedroom when there is a safe space created
- 24:02and I'm not judging that, but it's just a little bit too real.
- 24:06This happens and it doesn't happen like this.
- 24:08I did not feel king shamed when you were explaining where you
- 24:11were coming from. My only question is, did you
- 24:14have an inkling going in that you might feel this way about
- 24:18CNC? Yeah.
- 24:20I thought I would struggle to start off with and I was like
- 24:23wait, and this is actually fine, but I think what I struggled
- 24:26with because we did two types. So we did that one which was
- 24:28very far back and then we did another one that was more words
- 24:32and that one I really struggled with.
- 24:34That one I was like, I don't like this, but the other one I
- 24:37didn't struggle with, which is really interesting.
- 24:39Because I think like the other, you like to be a little bit
- 24:41bratty in the bedroom sometimes and that first one's more like
- 24:44you just kind of like. Oh.
- 24:46Playing back and there's like no but dominate me, whereas this
- 24:49other one was very like as if you don't want it.
- 24:52You said you were OK with the physical one, but it was sort of
- 24:56like the wordy one of saying no, I don't want this was harder for
- 24:59you. Yeah, and that one really sucks
- 25:01because it was like doing it. And then I had to like walk away
- 25:04and be like, no, I stopped. Like I don't want it.
- 25:06That one. I was like, oh, this is so
- 25:08uncomfortable. I think it is because like, you
- 25:10know, normal life, like I'm very ratty, like I love to like piss
- 25:14off Ben. So for me I was like, oh, this
- 25:15is just like us playing around and like having fun.
- 25:17And I think to probably a more of a extent that has never
- 25:21happened to me. So I don't have that in my body
- 25:25where I feel probably the other kink or I can feel because too.
- 25:29Close to home. Yeah, like I feel like that when
- 25:31I was like, oh, this feels too real and like I can't deal with
- 25:35it because it's Sonic, have experience, so I'm like, I don't
- 25:37like it. Like, But the other one, yeah,
- 25:40was way easier, yeah. Because you were able to
- 25:43separate from it completely. Oh, that make that makes total
- 25:46sense. Yeah, I think it's that like
- 25:48separation of it, where I think somebody else that has had like
- 25:51an experience like that in that way probably would not be able
- 25:55to do it because it would feel too real because it's like in
- 25:58your body. Where for me the other one was
- 26:00what it was more like. So I was like, OK, this I feel
- 26:03in my body and this I don't like.
- 26:04And then yeah, after we finished doing that video, I was like,
- 26:06we're never doing that again. Like I just, I'm never doing
- 26:08that again. I think it's fascinating that
- 26:10the closer to home it hit for you Jazz, the less enjoyable it
- 26:14was. What are you both looking
- 26:16forward to the most? It hasn't come up yet.
- 26:19I'm not looking forward to it. I'm not looking forward to it at
- 26:21all. Oh, pegging.
- 26:22I'm so excited for pegging. I love pegging.
- 26:25I don't enjoy the mirror kink except when I'm pegging someone.
- 26:28I've had some bad experiences, like I get 2 in my head and I
- 26:30don't enjoy it but you put a strap on on me, bend someone
- 26:34over in front of me and let me watch myself in the mirror.
- 26:37Then that makes sense actually. Jazz.
- 26:39I don't know if you really like the mirror kink, think it might
- 26:42be like this. Might be an add on for you.
- 26:44Then you could be blindfolded if that's gonna.
- 26:47Help. So excited.
- 26:49I'm so excited for it. I like, cannot wait.
- 26:52I don't actually think going into it, I'm gonna enjoy it a
- 26:55lot because I'm like a very submissive person.
- 26:58So I think I'm probably not gonna enjoy it.
- 27:00For me, I'm probably excited about experiencing a prostate
- 27:03orgasm because like, guys can orgasm four different ways and
- 27:07that's probably the only one I haven't experienced.
- 27:09So I'm excited to see what that is like, but I'm not excited for
- 27:13the actual act of it for it to happen.
- 27:15OK, Oh, there's a lot to unpack here.
- 27:17I was just so excited, Jazz, for your experience that I got a
- 27:20little overzealous because I'm like, oh, it's going to be
- 27:23great. Starting with you, Jazz, you
- 27:24said you're more submissive. Is this gonna be the first time
- 27:27you play a dominant role in the kink challenge?
- 27:31No, we did chastity, so that was a very dominant role.
- 27:33No, but you still took over that.
- 27:35You caved. Yeah.
- 27:37True. I was gonna say I'm like, this
- 27:39is 1 where you're not gonna be able to like quote UN quote
- 27:41cave. You're going to be like very,
- 27:44oh, maybe there is one. We've done like so many so far.
- 27:47It's a little the first time I've been dominant in our sexual
- 27:50life, but I definitely may be feeling it's the first.
- 27:53I think real dominant role that you've played, like there's
- 27:56dominant prospects that you have where you're like, oh, I really
- 27:59wanna go down and you're so like, sit the fuck down.
- 28:02But like this dominant role where you're completely in
- 28:05power, I think would be the first time.
- 28:07Yeah, it probably would be, to be honest.
- 28:09There's flexibility in it. You could also just play it as a
- 28:12top who wants to give him pleasure through it if that felt
- 28:16more comfortable. We're going that as well.
- 28:18And you're like, there's so many people that have offered us
- 28:21sound really bad. There's so much money to do it.
- 28:23Yeah, and we've just not done it because we're like, we're doing
- 28:25it on the King challenge. Like just wait for the king
- 28:27challenge. And they're like, no, I will
- 28:29give you so much money. We're like, no, yeah, I'm.
- 28:31Like why are my Bros out to get me?
- 28:34So many people are trying to get us doing it early.
- 28:36It's So what? It is why.
- 28:37Yeah, it's. Like then you might enjoy it.
- 28:40True. I think like there is definitely
- 28:42from what I'm understanding and the conversations that we're
- 28:45having, it's very much something that guys do a lot more than
- 28:49they want to let on. And as long as you're willing to
- 28:52take it slow, I think it can be really enjoyable for both
- 28:55people. I think it's just like anything
- 28:56when it comes to anal, yeah, it's like it's not a race.
- 28:59But I can understand being penetrated.
- 29:02Women are really used to it, right?
- 29:03We sort of take it for granted that that's what happens if you
- 29:06want to engage in intercourse. I can understand how, Ben,
- 29:10that's going to be a totally new experience for you.
- 29:12But did you say you can orgasm in four different ways?
- 29:15Guys can do their own version of Kegels, which separates the
- 29:19pelvic and abdominal muscles. And if you can trigger them the
- 29:22right moment when you ejaculate, the orgasm is much bigger and it
- 29:26actually ripples onto different muscles in your body.
- 29:28So it's like essentially different types of orgasms that
- 29:31doesn't necessarily have to be ejaculatory.
- 29:33And it's all about timing and being able to separate the
- 29:36muscles at the right time. So you've got like your standard
- 29:39ejaculatory orgasm that every guy experiences.
- 29:42But if you're able to separate the pelvic and abdominal muscle,
- 29:45you're able to get like a buzzing effect through your abs
- 29:48in the abdominal area and then again through your muscles
- 29:51covering your. And that's a really good one.
- 29:54It's kind of like, you know, when women explain their orgasm
- 29:57is like like a wave where it like very intensifies and slows
- 30:01down and intensifies again, very similar to that, but in
- 30:04different parts of the body. And it's not something that's
- 30:06very much taught for men in any way, shape or form.
- 30:08And I remember coming across at once on the Internet and I'm
- 30:11like, now I've got to test this. So I used to just walk around
- 30:14doing kegels for like days and days and days and days and days
- 30:17and days and days. I managed to make it happen.
- 30:19I was like, oh, this is a game changer.
- 30:22How were you doing kegels? Because the way I describe a
- 30:25kegel is like how you'd stop yourself from peeing as a woman.
- 30:29You squeeze. Same thing.
- 30:30Exact same thing. Yeah, it's it's the same thing,
- 30:33but instead I like you feel it in the Gooch.
- 30:36That's the best way to explain it.
- 30:38Yeah, you do the whole kegel like stop yourself from peeing
- 30:42and like cleanse that muscle. You get like I get like a pins
- 30:45and knee, not a pins and knees like a tingly feeling in my
- 30:47Gooch. So I know that's like when I'm
- 30:49tensing that muscle. It is the perennium.
- 30:51So that's where you feel it, which I mean honestly is where
- 30:54we feel it too. OK, so that counts as three out
- 30:57of the four and then the 4th is the property.
- 30:59Orgasm, yeah. Yeah.
- 31:01Have you done fingers up there? Yeah.
- 31:04No should do that before you do painting.
- 31:05Yeah, I would be open to trying that first before you sticking.
- 31:10Probably gonna be a good idea. I think it's a good idea because
- 31:15at least then you get acquainted with what you're trying to
- 31:18stimulate with a scrap on. Yeah, to be honest, I think
- 31:22before we even get there, we'll probably try something like that
- 31:25first because it just makes sense.
- 31:26Again, it's all like about safety and creating that space
- 31:30and communication that's probably you don't want to.
- 31:32I mean, nothing wrong about jumping right in the deep end.
- 31:34We, you know, hurt. They prepping me first in this
- 31:37month I do because we prepped me for like months prior to doing I
- 31:40know so we're probably gonna need to do the same thing that.
- 31:43Is wonderful. I'm also used to like here, put
- 31:45this bud plug in for 10 minutes. I like doing, it's like a form
- 31:51of care as well, because then like I can like be in control of
- 31:55warming you up and making sure you're all good.
- 31:57I don't know, there's like that care element to it that I enjoy
- 31:59as well. I.
- 32:00Love it. It's so romantic and I think
- 32:02that people forget that all of this is very loving.
- 32:04Like King has a bad rap, BDSM has a bad rap.
- 32:07Awkwardly segueing this into people, We love your families.
- 32:12You're pretty public about what you do.
- 32:14I know that some of your family knows, some don't.
- 32:17I'd love to talk about that. Like how did you even bring it
- 32:19up? So I was the Bachelor in
- 32:21Australia and I hadn't only fans during that time and I didn't
- 32:25have it active, but I just had one there.
- 32:28My family had no idea. They didn't know anything about
- 32:30it. Like it was a very secret thing
- 32:32that no one knew about. When I was on the show, there
- 32:35was this girl that me and her just spotted heads like she was
- 32:38very, very old human being. And I'm also not somebody that
- 32:41like very nice until I get very mad and then I'm just mad.
- 32:46And she was just awful. Like she was such a bad person.
- 32:49Anyway, she overheard one of the girls talking about early fans
- 32:51and they were like, does anybody have 1?
- 32:53And I was like, oh, I've had one before.
- 32:55So she added it on the TV show. Yes, she added it.
- 32:58And I was like, oh, OK, like, surely not gonna put it online.
- 33:01Like, this is done before. Like, could be fine.
- 33:03And then I gotta call, like, maybe two weeks before the show
- 33:06aired to be like, tell the people that you wanna know
- 33:09before 'cause it's gonna be on the promo.
- 33:11And like, you need to make sure people know.
- 33:14I have pills, so I'm glad that they told you to tell people
- 33:18because I'm sure you signed documents that meant they didn't
- 33:21have to tell you to tell people. No, they didn't have to like,
- 33:24let me know at all. So that's the.
- 33:26Decent thing they did for you. Yeah, thankfully.
- 33:29And no, I'm not saying it's right, jazz, just that like, I'm
- 33:32surprised that they did tell you.
- 33:34I'm actually shocked they did too to be honest because I
- 33:36remember being like please like please let me know prior so I
- 33:39can like talk to my family about it.
- 33:41So I think maybe 2 days for eggs.
- 33:43I'm really, really don't want to do it.
- 33:45We weren't even dating at this point.
- 33:46I'm pretty sure he was kind of over.
- 33:48And then I told my sister, and she was like, OK, that's fine.
- 33:52Like, all right. She's like, we have to tell dad.
- 33:54And I'm like, yeah, I know. I really don't want to.
- 33:55She's like, no, like, you have to tell him.
- 33:57She's like, he'll be fine. Like, his main thing is he's
- 33:59gonna be worried about your safety.
- 34:01And like, obviously he's older. So, like, this is, like, not
- 34:04part of their generation. And they don't understand it.
- 34:06And the biggest thing in the show is that they really honed
- 34:09in. I think they're trying to get me
- 34:10to cry. They were like, oh, like, your
- 34:11dad's not gonna love you anymore.
- 34:13Hey, like, he's not gonna love if he finds out.
- 34:15And I was like, I don't know, maybe he won't.
- 34:17Yeah. And then I went and told him it
- 34:20was like really hard to get it out.
- 34:21And I was like, look, at this time, I wasn't doing anything
- 34:24crazy on this. I was like, I don't really do
- 34:25anything apart from like nude shoots.
- 34:26Like that's kind of it. I was like, the reason I do it
- 34:29is because, like you've always told us from kids, like, treat
- 34:32everybody the same. Don't treat anybody differently.
- 34:34Like treat the CEO the same as you treat the genital.
- 34:36Like don't be that person. And I was like, and I really
- 34:39found as I got older, like women are that person that gets
- 34:42treated differently. And, you know, I don't want to
- 34:45be the person. So that's treating other people
- 34:46differently. So I want to be that person that
- 34:48can do this. And he was kind of understanding
- 34:50of it. He didn't really say much, but I
- 34:52did say, I was like, you know, they told me that you weren't
- 34:54going to love me if you found out.
- 34:56And his reaction was sort of like, well, that's fucking
- 34:58ridiculous. And I was like, oh, OK.
- 35:00I didn't really say anything else.
- 35:01And I was like, I'm going to leave and leave you with this
- 35:02information and I'm going to go home and like, give me a call if
- 35:05you want. And then, yeah, he called me
- 35:06maybe once I got home and was just like, I'm sorry if it made
- 35:10you feel like you couldn't tell me.
- 35:11I't just in an older generation. Like, I'll get it.
- 35:13I'll understand, understand it. Like, don't worry about it.
- 35:15He's like, whoever said that I'm not gonna love you anymore?
- 35:17Like they're fucking idiot. Like, of course I'm going to
- 35:19very sweet fast. But now I think he's seen that
- 35:23we do more than I had. Yeah.
- 35:25So now it's like a bit more of an awkward conversation where
- 35:28like if we go to family events, they'll bring it up and they'll
- 35:30be like, oh, your Instagram's like disgusting.
- 35:33Like your tick tock's so gross. Like, why are you guys talking
- 35:35about this? This is like so disgusting.
- 35:36And I'm like my parents, my dad, my mum, my sister's not so much.
- 35:41Sometimes mom and dad would be like, yeah, that's so gross.
- 35:43Like a couple of you guys talk about that.
- 35:45But I'm like, OK, that's really me.
- 35:48I understand though. OK, So yeah, you went from The
- 35:51Producers or The Bachelor telling you your father's not
- 35:54going to love you anymore because your only fans exist,
- 35:58despite them having no actual, like, backing for that.
- 36:01They just wanted to make you cry.
- 36:02Yeah, to get a reaction. Out of me.
- 36:04Fast forward, you tell your dad and he's like, I'm sorry you
- 36:06felt you couldn't tell me. It's absolutely ridiculous that
- 36:10you would experience that and now it's just a little so out in
- 36:13the open. Are they following your
- 36:15Instagram? I think because I've blocked
- 36:17them, please do not watch this. It's like that thing where
- 36:20you're like you just don't watch it if you don't want to know.
- 36:22My dad wants to know he will find out TikTok and watch our
- 36:25videos and then get upset about it.
- 36:27Or I'm pretty sure he's found out Twitter which is.
- 36:30Awful. OK, but he hasn't watched only
- 36:32fans as far as you know. I hope not.
- 36:34I think if I found out and he had subscribed I would never
- 36:38talk to my family again. I'd be like that is such like.
- 36:41Why are you so weird to do that? Yeah, I'd be like done.
- 36:45I can't do it anymore. I don't think he has.
- 36:48I don't think he's that silly. But he does actively watch our
- 36:51staff to then be like this. What's on your Twitter that's
- 36:55different than Instagram like? That's where we really been
- 36:59Jasmine sucking my Dick. Yeah, but like there's like
- 37:02emojis over it, so it's fine. Like, yeah.
- 37:04But it's very. Great.
- 37:06Yes, it's all. It's offensive, but like my dad,
- 37:09you would be out and know. Surely you have people also
- 37:12finding your Instagram organically?
- 37:14Yeah, a lot of family friends or like people that we're friends
- 37:18with will bring over their friends and their friends will
- 37:20be like, wait the fuck? We'll follow you on social
- 37:22media. And we're like, oh, OK.
- 37:24Or like friends that we have that we don't really talk to
- 37:26about it, we'll find it and be like, wait, what the fuck?
- 37:29And we're like, oh, yeah, by the way, like this is what we do.
- 37:32We don't really talk about it with our friends.
- 37:34Like unless they bring it up, we don't really talk about it
- 37:37because. Like we have multiple
- 37:38businesses, so like this is the biggest thought about income and
- 37:42it's the thing that we're most passionate about, but we don't
- 37:45make it our identity either. If you know, you know, if I have
- 37:48questions, we're very happy to talk about it, but we're not
- 37:50like this is who we are. If people ask us like we run
- 37:54marketing agencies, we have a genuine marketing agency.
- 37:56Then we have a of management agency as well where we help
- 37:59other creators do what we've done, but create longevity in
- 38:03what they do. Because like a lot of only
- 38:04offense creators do it for the act of making money, but like
- 38:07we'll help you build a brand. So this is like really long
- 38:11term. So if people ask us like, Oh
- 38:13yeah, we're just self-employed. We've run marketing agencies.
- 38:15And like, sometimes I'm like, we do social media and they're
- 38:17like, OK, interesting. People find it though.
- 38:20Like if you're on Facebook or something, they'll find it
- 38:23through Reels and then they'll tag you.
- 38:24But most of my friends are really supportive.
- 38:26Like anybody that's found it. I mean, again, if a friend
- 38:29wasn't supportive, I'd be like, all right, then like you're just
- 38:32kind of out of that circle. But every friend that we have
- 38:34that one knows about it is super, super supportive.
- 38:37My best friend of like 15 years. Does our fans like post on
- 38:40family for us? That's awesome.
- 38:42Well having open minded friends is really important.
- 38:44I always feel like I can't get along with people anymore who
- 38:48are closed off to this. What advice could you give to
- 38:52couples who want to start this or who are early on in their
- 38:56journey of only fans together? Or even just content creation in
- 38:59general, like sharing their relationship on social media.
- 39:02And this is like what I say to anybody, like any creator that
- 39:04we manage or talk to. I'm like First off, always make
- 39:09sure that this is linked you 1000% want to do because it is
- 39:12not just a you know? In your career.
- 39:14Yeah, it's not like you jump in and do it and then you can jump
- 39:18out. It can follow you.
- 39:19Like people absolutely can take screenshots of it and then take
- 39:23it to business. So do whatever they want to do
- 39:24with it. You, they have to be so sure in
- 39:27yourself that you are comfortable if this ever gets
- 39:29leaked because it could, I'm always like, OK, if you, you're
- 39:32comfortable with the fact that it could get leaked, you're
- 39:34comfortable with your family finding out and you're
- 39:36comfortable in what you're doing, then the rest doesn't
- 39:38really matter. Like if you're comfortable with
- 39:40what you're doing, then the noise and the hate and all that
- 39:42kind of stuff won't even bother you.
- 39:44Like it'll be completely fine. So definitely make sure that
- 39:46you're comfortable with that and feel authentic.
- 39:49I think people are really sick of life and it's goes for
- 39:51conjugation and only fans. Like people are so sick of
- 39:53overproduced content, fake content that like it's feeling
- 39:57real is going to be the best thing that you could ever do.
- 39:59And we don't have fancy crazy equipment for only fans where
- 40:02you just fill with our bones. And suspend holding it or it
- 40:05could be in the corner. Like we don't have anything
- 40:07crazy. And I think it's been the best
- 40:09thing that we've ever done because I'm not like an
- 40:11Instagram model that has like a stick thing body or anything
- 40:14like that. And like, you're not an
- 40:15Instagram guy that has like an insane.
- 40:17Dead body. And everybody like, we just love
- 40:19those people and like we're not going to try to be those people
- 40:21because we're just not. And I think for majority of
- 40:24people that's going to work and really go in their favour.
- 40:27And some people like they have that body, like they have that
- 40:31like real like Instagram body naturally.
- 40:33And it's like, cool, then like that's your thing as well.
- 40:35Like just go and do that. You can't.
- 40:37Be authentic with who you are and what you want to create.
- 40:39Don't try and do something you don't want to do because it will
- 40:41come through. I think content creation as
- 40:43well, like our thing that I've always said is like our
- 40:46relationship will come first. And if you're a couple content
- 40:48creator, be prepared for people to pick every part of your
- 40:51relationship apart and like, be OK with that because as much as
- 40:55we make jokes about the whole Reddit thing and like whatever,
- 40:57like it can affect you. Like, it absolutely can't affect
- 40:59your relationship if people are crapping on it or I don't,
- 41:02don't, no. It doesn't affect me.
- 41:04I have more anxiety, but I probably get more affected by
- 41:06it. But like even for the sense if
- 41:08you guys are having a bad day or having a fight and you're a
- 41:11content creator, you're getting messages like I'll be in the
- 41:13corner because we've had a fight or like something's happened.
- 41:16We've had a disagreement. I'm like pissed off at Ben.
- 41:18And then comments are just coming through being like, I
- 41:20love Ben. Ben so sweet.
- 41:21Ben's the sweetest, Ben so great.
- 41:22I'm like right now Ben's now fault.
- 41:24Or people like, you know, picking on you or they're
- 41:26picking on your partner and then you kind of really get
- 41:29emotionally charged with it. But at the same time, whatever
- 41:33people think, as long as it's not true, doesn't matter.
- 41:36I'm just kind of keep doing your own thing.
- 41:38As long as you're not hurting or harming anybody really is fine.
- 41:41And I think probably go for the long haul.
- 41:43Like it took us two years. Yeah, like it's not, you're not
- 41:46going to become wealthy overnight.
- 41:48You may not even become wealthy at all because you just got to
- 41:50get really lucky with the piece of content that just like
- 41:53absolutely launches your platforms.
- 41:56But yeah, if you're doing it to get quick, Rich.
- 41:58I think it's the wrong reason to do.
- 41:59It I also agree. I think it's the.
- 42:01For a reason to do it. I mean, doing it for money is
- 42:03not a bad thing at all. I know a lot of people that are
- 42:05in the industry for money, and that's so fine.
- 42:08But doing it to get rich really quickly, I think you're going to
- 42:11one, your mental health is really going to suffer because
- 42:13you're going to tie the way you look with the money you make.
- 42:16And if you don't make money quickly and you think you're
- 42:18going to, then your mind's going to be like, well, maybe I'm not
- 42:20attractive enough when. Yeah, In reality, it takes
- 42:24months and months and months to make money on indie fans, these
- 42:27agencies that go out there and they're like, you can make
- 42:29$20,000 in your first month. It's like, so fake.
- 42:31It's just not how it happens. But what you look like isn't
- 42:34going to determine how much you make.
- 42:35You can be the most beautiful girl in the world and you still
- 42:38very only make $100. But that doesn't mean that
- 42:40you're the most beautiful like that.
- 42:42You're not the most beautiful girl.
- 42:43In the world, it doesn't diminish what you bring to the
- 42:45world or your own value. Exactly.
- 42:48Which I think is really hard to like separate.
- 42:50Some are based on what you look like in only.
- 42:53I think for us, we're in a very unique position where it's based
- 42:55on what we do online. So that's what really drives the
- 42:58traffic. But when it used to be me and
- 43:01like just me and me being an attractive girl, my self worth
- 43:05was like only if I made money on any offense or only if a video
- 43:09did really well. Then I thought I was really
- 43:10attractive and then I felt good about myself.
- 43:12And it was this spiraling cycle that's really, really hard to
- 43:15get out of. Yeah, it sounds.
- 43:16I mean, that sounds really hard to get out of when it's real
- 43:19personal and vulnerable sharing a lot of yourself.
- 43:23Yeah, But I think it's a really fun industry to get into, but
- 43:25just make sure that you're in it for the long haul.
- 43:28And like, you're going to go through those dips of, you know,
- 43:31people not caring about what you do and, you know, the algorithm
- 43:34changing and then you're having not many views or, you know, not
- 43:38making money for a few months. It's all gonna come and go.
- 43:40You gotta do it for the right reasons and if you can get past
- 43:43that whole get money, get rich quick thing and just do it
- 43:45'cause you love doing what you do.
- 43:47I think successful innately follow those who do it for the
- 43:51get rich quick aspects and they hit those slumps.
- 43:54It's very hard to kind of push through.
- 43:56And then that really determines whether you are going to be
- 43:58successful in that space or not. So you're really going to have
- 44:00that grit and grind to want to keep doing what you do.
- 44:03So if you've got a purpose behind it outside of just money,
- 44:06it's going to be a lot easier. Yeah.
- 44:08Oh, that's really good advice. It's a marathon, not a Sprint.
- 44:10Yeah, laundering it like a Sprint. 100% it's going to take
- 44:13a long time. Like people see those girls that
- 44:16like pop up overnight and it's like they probably didn't pop
- 44:18over overnight. They probably have been working
- 44:20on this for years. And and you play into the of
- 44:23like, yes, I'm an overnight success.
- 44:24Not only that, like something that we found out now that we've
- 44:27stepped into the management side of stuff with only fans is
- 44:30agencies have accounts with heaps and heaps and heaps and
- 44:33followers and they recycle them for the girls.
- 44:36So like creators that actually own their accounts.
- 44:38So when they leave, they just replace that account with
- 44:41somebody else's face and they start with like 10/20/30
- 44:46thousand followers to start with.
- 44:47So yeah, that. Industry is, yeah, I could go on
- 44:50for so long about how bad that industry is, but I can't.
- 44:55So these are some of the tricks of the trade.
- 44:58To. Create buzz.
- 45:00This is helpful for me to even just knowing that is helpful for
- 45:03me to not for me it's Instagram and TikTok and that's how I get
- 45:08clients as a coach, like for a sex and relationship coach.
- 45:12But even I have that like there's a lot of competition in
- 45:14this space and you feel like, oh, that was such a good idea.
- 45:16Why didn't I think of it or why am I not getting ahead like
- 45:19that? All right, it's a lot of one
- 45:21because it's like, well, so just people probably stole it and not
- 45:23stole it. They like took inspiration from
- 45:25somebody else and then you so. Much.
- 45:28Yeah. People are not reinventing the
- 45:31wheel. They're often just sort of
- 45:33borrowing, tweaking a little and releasing.
- 45:35And you, you know, you gotta take everything with a grain of
- 45:38salt. So what's next for you guys?
- 45:41You've sort of conquered only fans.
- 45:42You've conquered Instagram. Where's the next frontier?
- 45:46There's a few, to be completely honest, like YouTube definitely
- 45:49won so that we can start making more long form content and have
- 45:54deeper conversations around the stuff because the videos we make
- 45:56are only like 10 minutes long, but then we have to edit them to
- 45:59like a minute 40. It would be really nice for you
- 46:01to have these conversations as a long form topic.
- 46:04We have something coming out soon ish, probably within like
- 46:08the next seven months. Oh yeah, what are we doing?
- 46:12I love Ben's face. Like really, Tell me more.
- 46:15What have we done? We can't put it online yet
- 46:17because we still like in the production point.
- 46:20That makes total sense. I love your videos, but even I'm
- 46:23smart enough to know that wasn't the beginning and end of the
- 46:25conversation, that 90 seconds of Instagram clip.
- 46:29So I'm excited to see more. I also just think it's really
- 46:32helpful and healthy for people to see what real relationships
- 46:35look like and what real conflict and conflict resolution looks
- 46:38like. Because it's almost like sex.
- 46:40It looks different for everyone and one works for one couple
- 46:42might not work for the other, but seeing it and normalizing it
- 46:46is good for everyone. I think so like, and that's kind
- 46:48of what we're really excited to do.
- 46:50Like, we've been on the cusp of wanting to do like a podcast for
- 46:52a really long time between the two of us, and we get asked a
- 46:56lot about it and we're always like, that's.
- 46:58Right. Yeah, it's gonna pull a tree
- 46:59around. But we also just moved into the
- 47:01house that we like, OK, We could actually do it in this house.
- 47:03Like, it's quite easy to film content here.
- 47:05So that's definitely the next big.
- 47:08We're really excited about it. Yeah.
- 47:11Yeah, All right. Awesome.
- 47:12I'm so excited about it. I would love if you had a
- 47:14podcast. I would add it to my list
- 47:16immediately. I can't get enough of you both.
- 47:19So if anyone else is new to or wants to follow, check out
- 47:24Instagram Ben and Jazz. That's Jas.
- 47:28And from there you can follow many other links to all of their
- 47:31other platforms. Thank you so much.
- 47:33Thanks. For having us, this is a bit
- 47:34awesome. If you enjoyed this episode,
- 47:37don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share it with
- 47:40anyone who might find it interesting.
- 47:41And if you have any questions or topics you'd like me to cover in
- 47:44future episodes, feel free to reach out e-mail
- 47:47info@thekingconsultant.com. Until next time, keep on kinking
- 47:51on.