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Transcript

How I beat Postpartum Depression · Mom Gone Mild

0:14
Hey guys, welcome back to Mom Gone mild.
0:17
I hope you guys had an amazing week.
0:19
I know I sure did. But before we get into this
0:21
episode, I do want to give a little warning.
0:23
This one gets a little dark, but honestly, that's life.
0:27
Sometimes Life gets foggy, life gets messy.
0:31
Life is not aesthetic. I always say this, but it's not
0:35
this aesthetically cute morning routine that we all see.
0:39
And honestly, I think this episode just is really important
0:43
because it is May, which May is mental health awareness month.
0:48
And if you've been here since the beginning, then you already
0:51
know mental health has been a huge part of my story.
0:55
I've struggled with depression my entire life.
0:59
I've been hospitalized for severe depression, for substance
1:03
abuse. So trust me when I say I know
1:07
darkness and I know this episode is going to feel heavy, but it's
1:12
just, it's necessary because mental health struggles are way
1:17
more common than people realize. And so many people just suffer
1:21
silently because they're ashamed or scared of being judged, which
1:27
that's also common too, is judging people because you don't
1:31
know what they're going through. And I'm just done pretending
1:35
that these conversations are just like taboo or don't talk
1:39
about it. They're real, they matter, and
1:42
they just. They deserve compassion, not
1:45
shame. And if you've been here for a
1:47
while, you already know I'm not that kind of creator.
1:51
And I know you're going to say, Lex, you're not even a creator.
1:54
Duh. We're manifesting.
1:55
I am a creator in my head anyways.
1:58
I'm just some mom who clearly talks too much and I'm just, I'm
2:03
tired of pretending that like, you know, everything that you
2:06
see online just easy and perfect.
2:09
It's not. I'm a real mom.
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I'm a real woman first and foremost.
2:13
Someone who has gone through it and overcame a lot.
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Honestly, sometimes I think why did I get dealt these certain
2:22
cards in life but I did and you just have to kind of overcome
2:25
them and roll with them. There isn't some kind of curse
2:28
on you if you struggle with mental health issues or physical
2:32
issues. Sometimes you just get dealt a
2:34
shitty card in life. And as always this is my
2:40
experience. I can only tell you guys what I
2:42
have gone through. So you guys are probably like,
2:44
why does she always talk about this stuff so openly?
2:47
Because I'm sick of the shame. I'm just sick of just being
2:51
taught to hide everything. To hide depression, hide
2:55
anxiety, hide addiction, relationship problems,
2:58
postpartum problems, and most of all trauma.
3:02
And what really does happen when you hide all those feelings?
3:05
Well, usually addiction or usually more trauma and just
3:11
shit gets real bad real fast. And I know especially I don't
3:16
know, maybe it's culture, maybe I don't know, maybe it's not,
3:19
maybe it's just families in general.
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But like the motto I've always heard is like, keep it hidden.
3:25
Don't ever talk about it. Like I don't know why.
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Like who genuinely just made that rule of like being quiet?
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I don't know why are we taught suffering silently is somehow
3:38
showing strength? I personally don't believe that
3:41
at all. And then when you do talk about
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it, it's like all of a sudden you're the black sheep of the
3:45
family. And yes, I am the black sheep of
3:48
the family, but hell no. I swear.
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Tradition, stereotypes, they hate to see me coming because my
3:56
ass is loud. I am open.
3:59
You can ask me mostly anything and if I've personally
4:03
experienced it, I will be open about it.
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And maybe that's why I'm the black sheep of the family.
4:09
But whatever. Honestly, I learned not to give
4:11
a shit anymore. You either just like me or you
4:15
don't. I'm not everyone's cup of tea
4:17
and that's fine. And I think it's just it takes
4:20
way bigger balls to just openly be yourself and spending your
4:25
whole life pretending and trying to fit this cookie like cutter
4:30
mold. But you know, each their own.
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But honestly, guess what? The women before me were
4:37
definitely not perfect. Sometimes I hear stories of
4:40
women in my family, the older women's, and it's just like, and
4:44
my heart genuinely breaks for them.
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All the shit that they had to endure, the cheating, the abuse,
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the depression, feeling trapped. And I guess they had just had to
4:55
deal with it quietly. I guess like times are
4:57
different. I get that, but I'm sorry, I'm
5:00
just not built like that. I don't tolerate abuse, I don't
5:03
tolerate disrespect, and I definitely don't tolerate being
5:08
talked down to because if, because if I'm mad at you and
5:12
I'm pissed, trust me, you will know I I'm not quiet.
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And I just think a huge part of healing is just breaking that
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generational expectations, breaking the expectation that
5:26
women are, I guess, supposed to suffer silently breaking the
5:30
expectation that moms are supposed to just sacrifice
5:33
themselves entirely until they have nothing left to give,
5:36
nothing for themselves. And that's when they wear
5:38
themselves out just breaking the expectations that you have to
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just tolerate the disrespect just to keep the peace.
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Hell no Breaking the expectation that therapy is is just weak.
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Absolutely not. I love my therapist.
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I love going to therapy and just, I don't know, real strain
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to me is just being honest. It's when you're not feeling
6:04
good being like hey guys I'm not OK I need help.
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This actually hurt me when you talk to me like this.
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I deserve better. I want more for myself and I
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really hope if I do teach my son anything it's emotional honesty.
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I don't want him growing up thinking emotions or weakness in
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my family. That's like a huge thing.
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I don't want him growing up believing women are supposed to
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just silently endure everything 'cause we're not.
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I don't want him growing up scared to talk about mental
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health because silence. I'm not going to lie, it almost
6:36
destroyed me. And honestly, that's why this
6:40
podcast matters so much to me. Because maybe someone listening
6:45
grew up in a family where emotions were treated like
6:48
weakness, where therapy for was for crazy people.
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And I guess I'm one of the crazies.
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I don't know where depression was something you prayed away
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privately but never talked about publicly.
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And I need people to understand. I'm going to say this again.
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That silence almost destroyed me.
7:07
So today I really just want to talk about one of the darkest
7:11
periods of my life. I've talked a little bit about
7:14
this but into more depth. So I have suffered from PCOS,
7:18
infertility, pregnancy loss, postpartum depression, and I
7:23
just want to explain how I slowly fought myself, my way
7:27
back to myself and honestly what I like to call the new and
7:31
improved me. So let's start.
7:35
I never wanted kids like genuinely I have so many
7:39
siblings. I love them, trust me.
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But I just always grew up around like babies and kids and I don't
7:46
know, I love kids, but honestly I just was tired.
7:49
Damn. I already started tired and I'm
7:51
and I'm tired. So I always thought, OK, I love
7:54
the idea of like Dinks, like, you know, what is it like dual
7:57
income with no kids and travelling, sleeping in, what is
8:02
that? Going out whenever we wanted,
8:04
being like a cool aunt because I have seven siblings.
8:07
So there's definitely going to be babies coming soon and not
8:11
too soon. But, you know, I was just
8:13
honestly OK with just living for me, Randy and the dogs.
8:17
And then one day, yes, everything changed.
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I had this pain that literally felt like my insides were
8:25
exploding. I couldn't walk.
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I had to crawl to the car. My husband rushed me to the ER,
8:32
and they just immediately took me in.
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They give me morphine, tons of scans, like, you know, like
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those awkward tests that they do that no one really likes.
8:43
But yeah. And then they told me that my
8:46
right ovary was covered in cyst and needed to be removed because
8:50
it was like this close on rupturing.
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And that's when I got diagnosed with PCOS.
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Honestly, I was so scared. I was like, what the hell is
8:59
this? But PCOS is such a mind fuck.
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I don't know. People hear PCOS and they think,
9:06
oh, it's just cyst, it's no big deal.
9:09
No, it's way more than that. It's the hormones.
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It's just they are absolutely unhinged.
9:18
One minute you're fine, the next minute you're crying over the
9:21
littlest things. And guys, it can look different
9:26
for everyone. This is my experience.
9:27
Then suddenly, you know, you're just irrationally angry.
9:32
I know, like, sometimes I get like, if someone's breathing
9:35
wrong, I get like the ick. And yeah, the painful periods,
9:40
there's no, there's not enough mital in the world for those,
9:45
for me, curled up in a ball, you know what I mean?
9:47
Heating pad attached to your body literally like burning your
9:51
skin, pain shooting down to your legs, heavy bleeding, nausea,
9:57
which obviously I was in so much pain, vomiting and it's just
10:01
like it just feels like your body is like rejecting a bunch
10:04
of stuff. And don't get me started on the
10:07
weight gain because your girl gained weight.
10:10
I swear on my life I would like look at food and I'd gain 7 lbs.
10:15
Top that all off because we don't suffer enough with
10:19
unwanted hair growth and not on your head because I wish that it
10:23
grew from here. But no like literal chin hairs.
10:28
I I swear my life my man literally just became like my
10:32
part time esthetician. He's plucking my chin hairs
10:35
wherever we go and he doesn't mind.
10:37
But anyways, underneath these jokes I do want to say PCO's
10:42
really affected me mentally. It just because I remember
10:47
hearing the chances of getting pregnant naturally are
10:50
significantly lower and something inside me shifted
10:55
instantly because it's funny I never cared about motherhood
10:58
until I thought maybe I couldn't have it.
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Suddenly I was grieving I guess a life of children I didn't
11:06
have. I remember going to my
11:07
gynecologist and she was just telling me like OK don't worry
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you have a 30% chance of getting pregnant naturally.
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I'm like 30%. That just sounds so low.
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I have like 1 ovary PCOS like what the hell else can happen
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and I just fell into this depression over a future I guess
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I thought I had lost. And before I go any further I
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really need women to understand that are struggling with
11:36
infertility. That you did nothing wrong.
11:39
Your worth is not tied to your ability to have children.
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You are more than enough. Exactly who you are.
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Motherhood does not define womanhood and I feel like we
11:51
grew up with that like mentality.
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And if you are unable to have babies, please know that does
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not make you broken. It does not make you less
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feminine. It does not make you less worthy
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of love or happiness. And guys, I'm telling you you're
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still worthy. You're still whole.
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You are more than enough. I wish someone would have told
12:18
me that back then because I felt like shit.
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When you feel like that choice is like taken away from you, it
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just hits differently. So eventually my husband and I,
12:30
we just accepted the fact it's just going to be us and the
12:32
dogs. And honestly, I learned to love
12:36
that life too. But, you know, we got married,
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we went on our honeymoon and I don't know, like something in me
12:42
was like, let's just try. Like, we tried like rabbits.
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We tried. OK, OK.
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And yeah so somehow I got pregnant and sorry it's just
12:56
really hard. I truly thought wow, this is my
12:59
miracle baby. At the time I didn't have
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insurance so I just like I was going to like free clinics and
13:05
only got 1 ultrasound and it just sucks because I only have
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one picture of the baby and I lost it during our move.
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But I did have a miscarriage at 8 weeks and I still remember
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every detail of that day. I remember the blood, the pain,
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the panic and the feeling of just realizing my miracle baby
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was gone. I thought, well that was it, it
13:33
was my only chance and I had lost it.
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And that depression after my miscarriage, that depression was
13:41
dark. I wouldn't say it was like sad
13:45
or emotional. I was dark.
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It was empty. I just, I remember laying there
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feeling completely empty, like someone literally unplugged me
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from life. I stopped caring about
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everything and I just stopped caring about myself.
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I stopped caring about my future.
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And yeah, after my miscarriage, I didn't really feel guilt.
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I felt lifeless. I felt numb.
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I felt like this was it. My body had failed me.
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My body had betrayed me. It had betrayed me in so many
14:29
other ways. But this, this was awful.
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I just remember how like obviously I was blaming myself,
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like, and I just felt like it was just me, my body.
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It just gave up on me. And that feeling, it just stayed
14:43
with me for so long. I mean, I remember we had
14:46
already picked out a name. The name was going to be Theo
14:50
and Celine for my grandma. Because if it was a girl or boy,
14:54
you know, But still to this day, hearing those names just makes
14:58
me feel like I can't breathe for a second.
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And, you know, we didn't know if it was going to be a boy or a
15:05
girl, but somehow in my soul, I actually really thought it was
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going to be a Theo. So of course my favorite
15:11
comedian is Theo Von. So you know, great.
15:15
After that miscarriage, I just truly believed, OK, maybe
15:19
motherhood just isn't in the cards for me.
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So we just kept living our lives cause what else do you do?
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And randomly we, I promise you we didn't try to have babies or
15:32
get pregnant and I got pregnant. And this is something women
15:35
don't talk about enough. After you've suffered a loss,
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pregnancy after miscarriage is terrifying.
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Yes, you're happy, you're so grateful.
15:46
But you also just. It's almost like you're waiting
15:49
for disaster constantly. Every cramp terrifies you.
15:53
Every bathroom trip terrified me.
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I would just think like there'd be a puddle of blood every time.
15:59
You know? He stopped moving.
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I was terrified. You know those when they tell
16:04
you to count the cakes that scare the shit out of me?
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And then at 26 weeks, I found out I had a short cervix and I
16:11
was already dilating and I was like, great, here we go again.
16:15
I was admitted to the hospital multiple times and just the
16:19
entire pregnancy felt like fucking survival mode.
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And then the delivery was no easier because, you know, I had
16:26
this, that preeclampsia, so I had to get an emergency
16:30
C-section. It's just like, honestly, I just
16:32
felt like my nervous system never caught a break.
16:36
And then Axel came into this world and I remember thinking,
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Oh my God, like this is real. He is my miracle baby.
16:44
And guess what? Postpartum depression hit me
16:48
like a fucking truck. I really need to be honest about
16:54
how dark it got. I have talked about this
16:57
multiple times, but you know, I feel like social media
17:00
romanticizes motherhood so much. And you kind of like feel guilty
17:05
not feeling that, you know, you see the cute routines, the
17:07
matching PJ's, you know, the perfect homes.
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And meanwhile, just meanwhile, my house was dark literally and
17:18
just mentally, my shades stayed shut all day.
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The pediatrician would literally ask me, does he even get
17:24
sunlight? I mean, you know, we had to do
17:28
the vitamin D drops. It's normal for babies.
17:30
But he was like pale and honestly just no, we weren't
17:35
getting any sunlight. I just remember my mother-in-law
17:37
coming over one day and she's like, why is it so dark in here?
17:40
And I was like, because I was dark mentally, I was just gone.
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And this is a part people don't understand.
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I absolutely love my son. I never felt detached from him.
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I felt detached from myself. And postpartum hits everyone
17:59
differently. So I barely showered.
18:02
I barely brush my teeth, barely brush my hair.
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Sometimes I wouldn't even get up to pee because mentally I just
18:09
couldn't move. I know I smelled, I know my
18:12
house was a fucking mess. I know I wasn't OK.
18:16
My husband helped so much but I genuinely did not care.
18:22
I felt just like I was on cruise control.
18:25
I was literally doing the absolute bare minimum.
18:30
I remember I would like drive places and not remember how I
18:33
got there. And so, you know, binge eating
18:37
has always been my go to. And here we go again, binge
18:41
eating because my biggest coping mechanism in life is food.
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It's the only thing I could control because food became and
18:49
it's always been this comfort. It's numbing.
18:53
It's just like the only dopamine that I got was from food.
18:56
And this is where the guilt comes in because postpartum
19:01
depression guilt, it's the worst.
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The guilt is basically you ask yourself like, why am I
19:10
struggling when I finally have my miracle baby?
19:13
Why am I not happier? What is wrong with me?
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I should be grateful people are praying for this.
19:19
I prayed for this. And that guilt just eats you up
19:23
because you love that baby so much, but mentally you are
19:28
drowning at the same time. And that just combination is
19:32
just so confusing and isolating because you also feel ashamed
19:38
admitting that you're struggling.
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Because on paper my life looked like a dream.
19:45
Like healthy baby, supportive husband, a beautiful new home.
19:50
I had my family around just. But meanwhile internally I was
19:54
feeling like I was literally disappearing.
19:57
I wasn't me. And honestly, that guilt.
20:02
It almost destroyed me more than the depression itself.
20:06
I felt like, I don't know, like humor became my defense
20:10
mechanism through all of this. But I feel like most people are
20:15
kind of like that with the dark humor.
20:17
Like if you can't laugh a little through the trauma, you'll
20:20
literally lose your mind. And if you don't understand dark
20:25
humor, honestly, you probably will hate me because that's my
20:29
defense mechanism. But yeah, because I'm talking
20:34
about depression and trauma and postpartum, but I'm also going
20:39
to joke about my husband plucking my mustache hairs
20:43
because what else am I going to do?
20:44
Cry 24/7? I have already done that.
20:48
And honestly, I think humor really helped save me too,
20:54
because sometimes just laughing is the only relief that your
20:58
brain gets. And the scary thing about
21:01
depression is eventually that dysfunction, that lifestyle just
21:08
starts to feel normal. You don't even realize it and
21:11
definitely not how bad it got. I mean the house was awful.
21:14
I was in survival mode all the time.
21:17
I mean my baby was always taken care of and looked after, fed
21:20
and clean. But I don't know this this
21:23
platform saved my life. I know you guys are probably
21:26
thinking like, she's so dramatic, but I swear it, it's
21:30
true because when I started opening up online, women just
21:36
started like flooding my DM's talking about, you know, their
21:41
experience with postpartum depression, PCOS, miscarriages,
21:46
infertility, just that feeling of loss, feeling numb, feeling
21:51
like they don't even recognize themselves anymore.
21:55
And honestly, that's when it hit me.
21:57
How many women silently really go through this?
22:02
I even, I even just like posted like some polls yesterday about
22:08
like women not feeling seen and just like, it's just like it.
22:12
It broke my heart to be honest, because all these beautiful
22:17
women, they don't see themselves for how they are.
22:20
And I'm just like, wow, we carry just so much privately.
22:25
And I think that's why this podcast became so important to
22:29
me. I know a lot of people are like,
22:31
Alexis, you do this all the time, like it's your full time
22:34
job. But because, I don't know,
22:36
suddenly this wasn't just my story anymore.
22:38
It just became like the space where women could feel and
22:43
admit, yeah, you know what? That's me too.
22:46
And you don't have to feel shame.
22:48
You don't have to pretend. Just without having to be
22:51
perfect, this is a safe space for you.
22:54
And honestly, I that just healed something in me and I just feel
23:01
like I want to tell you guys like you're not alone.
23:04
I can't even explain unless you felt this Mom gone mild became
23:10
my outlet, became my therapy, became my purpose honestly.
23:14
And just hearing women say wow, I thought I was alone, that I
23:19
guess it like healed something in me too.
23:21
Because depression isolates you. It convinces you that nobody
23:26
understands you and that you're the only person feeling this
23:29
way. And I also remember the people
23:31
who ignored me, you know, the people who pushed me away
23:35
because I wasn't cheerful like I usually am.
23:38
I know I'm a very like cheerful person.
23:41
And that just wasn't me anymore. I wasn't fun.
23:44
I wasn't the version, I guess, that they wanted me to be.
23:47
And that hurt deeply because one thing that about hitting your
23:55
lowest point, like mentally, you really find out who people are.
24:00
You find out who only likes you when you're entertaining, when
24:04
you're useful to them, when you're easy because it ain't
24:09
easy, when you're struggling, when you're benefiting their
24:12
life somehow. And you absolutely do not forget
24:17
how people treated you when you had nothing left to give them.
24:20
You also don't forget who checked in on you, who never
24:25
disappeared. Like you just don't forget who
24:29
made you feel like a burden. And you definitely don't forget
24:33
who made you feel safe. Yeah, depression changes the way
24:40
you honestly see relationships forever, because when you're
24:43
mentally struggling, you don't need perfection, you don't need
24:47
a lecture, you just need kindness.
24:51
It is so easy. And I swear I still remember
24:55
every single person who was kind to me while I was struggling.
24:58
I love you guys. I appreciate you guys.
25:00
I can't thank you guys enough. People probably don't even
25:03
realize how much just like a small act of kindness matters
25:08
when someone is literally drowning.
25:12
A quick text, checking in, helping with the baby, just a
25:16
quick meal, listening without judging.
25:18
That stuff matters way more than people realize.
25:21
And honestly, that experience changed my entire life
25:27
permanently. It has made me softer in some
25:31
ways and it just has also made me tolerate fake relationships
25:38
less. I don't give a shit anymore
25:40
because if you don't give a shit about me, why would I give a
25:42
shit about you? Now I pay attention to how
25:45
people treat me and how they actually treat others because
25:48
that tells you something about them.
25:52
Honestly it takes a strong ass bitch to fight your way back
25:56
from that darkness, whether you're crawling out or walking
26:00
out and just. Healing is not aesthetic,
26:03
healing is. It can be ugly sometimes.
26:06
It can be you crying in the shower, dragging yourself
26:11
outside, forcing yourself on walks, going to therapy and
26:16
unpacking years of shit you thought you buried.
26:20
Take medication even though you don't want to, admitting you
26:23
need help. And life is not just like
26:26
magically going to be perfect after healing either.
26:29
It takes a lot of work. You don't suddenly become some
26:32
floating healed goddess with no problems, although I wish we
26:37
did. But you do become a new version
26:40
of yourself. A stronger, softer, wiser
26:43
version. And now I can honestly say I
26:47
genuinely enjoy motherhood. And that's something I never
26:52
thought I would say because during postpartum depression,
26:57
there comes a point where you literally are thinking like, I
27:00
cannot do this. I remember thinking Axel just
27:05
deserves better. He deserves happier mom.
27:08
He deserves someone that's stronger.
27:10
And it just breaks my heart now because depression really
27:15
convinced me that I was the problem, that my son could have
27:20
done and had a better mom. But meanwhile you're actually
27:24
fighting one of the hardest mental battles of your life.
27:28
And now guys, even with TV, even with the sleepless nights we
27:33
slept, he woke up every hour last night.
27:36
Even with the over stimulation, even with, I don't know, just
27:42
all the shit that comes with it. It's beautiful.
27:46
I love motherhood, I love my son, I love the mess, I love the
27:50
chaos. Literally this is the only part
27:52
of my house that's like clean and nice.
27:55
But you know what? I love that too.
27:57
Because one day he's going to outgrow all this stuff.
28:00
And he just, honestly, all of this just made me who I am
28:05
today. Would I change some of it?
28:08
Absolutely. I mean, I feel like I did go off
28:11
the rails. But respectfully, I could have
28:14
just, you know, skipped a few bad things that happened.
28:19
But overall, I'm here, you know, I'm not just surviving anymore.
28:23
I'm thriving. And actually talking about that,
28:27
I received a message from one of my best friends and it says
28:32
something like you're thriving at motherhood.
28:37
And honestly, that was like the best text I got all day because
28:42
I well, I'm still crying about it because it's just like, it's
28:46
not because like, wow, what a compliment.
28:48
I mean, it is a compliment, but because just a few months ago, I
28:52
genuinely thought like I wasn't going to make it.
28:56
And I thought, this is it. This is my life forever.
29:00
I ruined everything. I ruined my life.
29:02
I ruined his life. I ruined Randy's life.
29:04
And now I look at my son, my marriage, even those podcasts
29:08
and the community that I've built and I just think, damn, I
29:13
really fought my way back. I crawled my ass out of that
29:17
darkness. And not perfectly either.
29:20
Those days, they were ugly. They were angry days, numb.
29:24
I wanted to quit. I wanted to isolate myself,
29:27
which I did a lot of the time. I cried non-stop.
29:31
These are happy tears. But you know, I just, I kept
29:34
going. And honestly, that's, I feel
29:37
like what really healed me. It's not that I was perfect at
29:42
doing it, that I just continued to choose myself over and over
29:48
and over again when my brain was literally trying to convince me
29:51
not to. And before I end this episode, I
29:56
do want to say that this episode means a lot to me.
30:00
I would not be sitting here and talking about all of this if it
30:04
didn't. This is probably one of my most
30:06
vulnerable episodes I've ever done because these topics are
30:11
literally my life, my experiences, my stories.
30:15
This really happened to me. This was me at some of my
30:20
darkest moments just mentally, and I really think mental health
30:24
struggles happen to weigh more people than we realize.
30:28
The problem is most people just stay silent and suffer because
30:34
they are so scared of being judged.
30:36
Scared of I guess being labeled dramatic, crazy, don't recall
30:41
anyone crazy when they have mental health issues, attention
30:44
seeking. And honestly that's exactly why
30:48
we need to normalize talking about this stuff.
30:51
Not shaming people for it because you genuinely never know
30:56
what someone else is experiencing privately.
31:00
And I just really hope this podcast can become a safe space
31:04
for people who are struggling. I still struggle.
31:08
You know, it's for life. A place where you don't feel
31:13
ashamed, a place where you don't feel judged, a place where you
31:16
can be like, hey, you know what? I feel that too.
31:20
Because honestly, anyone who hears someone struggling
31:24
mentally and their response is just get over it.
31:28
Shut up. Respectfully.
31:30
We really just don't have room for that kind of energy here.
31:35
And even if you haven't personally gone through
31:37
depression or postpartum depression or infertility or
31:41
even anxiety, just be an ally. You do not full.
31:45
You do not have to fully understand someones pain to show
31:49
freaking compassion. If you want, do some research
31:53
about it, you know like listen, learn, be kind.
31:59
Sometimes people they don't want like this whole lecture and you
32:02
telling them what to do. They just want you to listen and
32:05
that's OK. Because mental health struggles
32:08
are nothing to be ashamed about. And honestly, I think the more
32:13
openly we talk about these things, we normalize these
32:16
things, the more people we help feel less lonely.
32:20
That's just something that this world needs in such an ugly time
32:25
that we live in. And if this episode helps even
32:27
one person feel seen, then every uncomfortable, vulnerable second
32:34
of this recording was worth it. And trust me, this was not the
32:37
easiest thing to record. I have cried.
32:40
I have stopped it many times. But you know what, here we are
32:44
and I just want to say before we end this episode, please follow,
32:47
like share, comment, you know, share this with maybe someone
32:51
that you think needs to hear it or you know, go ahead and repost
32:54
it. Because honestly, at first with
32:56
mom gone mild, I saw my life. I was like, who is even
33:00
listening to this? But now I know the kind of
33:04
people that do you guys are my, you know, they say it takes a
33:07
village. You guys are my village.
33:09
And this community has become something so much bigger than I
33:13
ever imagined. And I know you guys are like,
33:15
oh, it's not even that big. But you know what?
33:18
If it helps one person, it helps.
33:19
And I really hope I can be that safe space for you guys too.
33:23
And please always reach out to professional if you are mentally
33:27
struggling. But I do want to say that my DMS
33:30
are always open, like genuinely always.
33:33
I if you want to tell me your stories, if you want to tell me
33:38
your struggles, if you just want a place to heal, if you want to
33:42
tell me girl, I did this. It's so chaotic.
33:45
I'm here for it. Just message me on Instagram at
33:48
Mom gone mild under Score podcast.
33:51
And you guys, I promise you, I do see every single DM.
33:55
I do see every single repost. And I appreciate you guys so,
33:59
so, so, so so much. And even if you guys are like
34:03
Alexis, this episode sucked. If you disagree with me, go
34:07
ahead. Let me hear why you think it did
34:09
or what could you say that's different.
34:12
And you know, we always welcome criticism here at Mom Gone Mild,
34:16
the good, the bad, the ugly, because at the end of the day,
34:20
this podcast is about real conversations, not perfection.
34:25
I am in no way a professional. I think that's why so many of us
34:29
just connect. And like always, I just want to
34:33
say I love you guys so much for being here.
34:36
And thank you guys for being part of my beautiful, chaotic,
34:39
crazy ass community. And, you know, I I just love it
34:44
so much. And if you guys are wondering
34:46
how 75 hard is going, I am on day 73.
34:52
I know soak that in. I have two.
34:55
Well, I guess technically, yeah, two days left and that's been an
34:59
emotional roller coaster. So that will have its own
35:02
episode. That will be next week.
35:03
So anyways, I just want to say be kind to yourself, give
35:08
yourself grace, be kind to others please.
35:12
I will see you guys next week, same time, same place, you
35:17
already know.