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S2 E11 What if Your Not Stuck Your Just Ready For Something Different · Get It Got It Girl: Midlife Rebuild

• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Get It Got It Girl.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: This is where we talk about midlife reinvention and creating the life that you love.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: We're figuring it out together, girl, so let's get into it.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: You know what's interesting?
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: As I was sitting here, ready to record this episode, I realized that this is exactly how something that I think a lot of us women experience, especially in midlife.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever looked at your life and thought, is this really where I'm supposed to be?
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you thought your life would be further along or it would look different by now.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you thought you'd be more financially secure, more confident, happier, or just more settled.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you spent years taking care of everybody else, doing what you were supposed to, doing what they wanted, and trying to make everything work.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: And now you're looking around and wondering, hmm, what about me?
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: What do I want my life to look like?
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: If you ever felt this way, I want you to know something.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: You're not alone.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: And here's another thought I want you to consider.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: What if you're not stuck?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: What if you're simply ready for something different?
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes we look at our lives and we see everything that hasn't worked out.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: We focus on the things we haven't accomplished.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: I know I do.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: The opportunities that we missed at night.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's a lot of us before we try to go to sleep.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Or decisions that we wish we would have made differently.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: But what if instead of looking at everything that's wrong, we started asking ourselves, what do we want to change?
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Not everything, not all at once, just something.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because you don't have to change your entire life overnight to start moving in a different direction.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to be willing to take that first step.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about that for a minute.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: I think a lot of us grow up believing that life is supposed to follow a certain timeline.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: You go to school, you get a job, you build a relationship, you raise a family, you work hard, you save money, and eventually you read a point, you reach a point where things feel secure.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Life doesn't always follow that plan.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes relationships change.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes our finances take a hit.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes our health changes.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we find ourselves in situations that we never ever imagined that we'd be in.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes, even when nothing particularly terrible has happened, we wake up one day and we just realize we're just not happy with the way things are.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: That can be a difficult feeling to admit, especially when you've spent years trying to make everything work.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: You might even feel guilty for wanting something different.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: You might tell yourself, well, other people have it worse, that you should be grateful or that it's too late to make changes.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: But gratitude and wanting more for yourself can exist at the same time.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: You can appreciate what you have and still want a different future.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: You can love your family and still want more independence.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: You can be proud of how far you've come and still recognize that you have more growing to do.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Those things don't cancel each other out.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: So please don't convince yourself that you have to stay unhappy just because you've worked hard to get where you are.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: You are allowed to want something different.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: And you're allowed to figure out what that looks like.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you don't have all the answers yet.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: So if we know we want something different, why is it sometimes so hard to make a change?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: I do think that one reason is that we feel like we have to figure out everything out first before we begin.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: A to B, A to Z.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: We want the complete plan.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: We want to know exactly how things will work out.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: And we want to be certain.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: And certainty is a big thing.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: We want to be certain that we are making the right decision.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Life doesn't usually give us that kind of guarantee.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that the truth?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we have to take one small step and see where it leads.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: I know a big reason that we stay stuck is fear.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: We're afraid of failing.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and we're afraid of people looking at us and thinking that we look foolish.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: We're afraid people might judge us or tell us we're too old to start something new.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes we're afraid that we'll try our hardest and things still won't work out.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: I understand that fear.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: But here's something to think about.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Staying exactly where you are is also a choice.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: And it has consequences too.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: What might your life look like a year from now if you keep putting off the things you want to change?
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: And also, what might it look like if you just started taking small steps towards changing those things today?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to have an answer to every question.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: You just need to be willing to explore the possibilities.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: And something big.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to change everything at once.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Here's where I want you to take some pressure off of yourself.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: You do not need to reinvent your entire life in one day.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: I like to look at it as a reigniting your life.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: You're not starting over from scratch.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: And you don't need to wake up tomorrow with a perfect morning routine, a new career, a healthier body, a better bank account, and a five-year plan.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: Please don't give yourself another impossible list of things that you have to accomplish before you can feel good about yourself.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, just pick one area of your life that you would like to improve.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's your health.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's your finances.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you want to feel more confident, meet some new people, learn something new, or finally work on that idea that you've been talking yourself out of for years.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever it is, make the first step small enough that you can actually take it.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to get healthier, maybe you start with a 10-minute walk or make one meal that makes you feel better.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to improve your finances, maybe you spend 15 minutes looking at your budget or researching a new income opportunity, a new stream of income.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want to feel more confident, maybe you wear the outfit you've been saving for a special occasion.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that outfit in the back of your closet that's been hanging up with the brand new tag on it.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: Or speak up about something that matters to you.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want to build something on your own, maybe you spend 20 minutes working on that idea instead of telling yourself, self, you'll get to it someday.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe tomorrow.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, maybe next year.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: Small steps do count.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: They count because they help build trust with yourself.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: Every time that you follow through on a promise that you make to yourself, you're showing yourself that your goals matter too.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to do everything today.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: I know we try, and then we get overwhelmed, and then we don't start.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to do something that moves you forward.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: I also want you to talk about something that can hold us back, especially as women.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: Stop waiting for permission.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we spend so much time worrying about what everybody else thinks that we forget to ask ourselves, hey, what do we think?
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: What do I think?
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself that.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: What do I think?
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: What do I want?
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: What is what keeps coming back in your mind?
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, if I should have tried this, no, it's too late.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want?
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: We wonder whether our family will understand.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: Or we wonder whether our friend our friends will support us.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: We wonder whether people will think we're being selfish or unrealistic or ridiculous.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: And before we even try it, we've already talked ourselves out of it.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: But at some point, you have to decide that your life matters too.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need everybody to understand your goals before you're allowed to pursue them.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: And you don't need to have everything figured out before you're allowed to begin.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: And you certainly don't need to be a certain age to decide that you want something more for yourself.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Midlife isn't the end of your opportunities.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: It can be the point where you finally start asking better questions.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: Questions like, what do I want?
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: What makes me feel alive again?
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: What have I been putting off?
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: What kind of life would be meaningful to me?
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: What do I want to wake up to in the morning?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: What life do I want to wake up to that I don't have to escape?
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Those are important questions.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: You deserve the time and space to answer them.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, this isn't about proving anything to anybody else.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's about creating a life that feels more like your own.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Now I do have the reignited challenge.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, girl, let's make this practical.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want you to listen to this episode, feel inspired for a few minutes, and then go right back to doing everything the same way.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: So here's your reignited challenge.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to ask yourself one question.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: If I could change one thing about my life right now, what would it be?
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Don't think about ten things.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Don't start making a list of everything you believe is wrong.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Just choose one.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you'll know the answer immediately.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you'll need to sit with the question for a little while.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Either way, just give yourself permission to be honest.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to tell anybody else.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: Just this is a moment for you.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then you know what?
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Ask a second question.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: What's one small thing I can do in the next 24 hours to move toward that change?
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Not next month, not next year, not when everything is perfect, not when I have more money, not when I'm older, not when I have more time in the next 24 hours.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: It might be making a phone call, researching an opportunity, or just writing down a plan, clearing a small space in your home, or finally admitting to yourself what you want.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Just admitting what you want.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever your step is, just make it realistic and then take it.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: Don't ask people about it.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: Don't ask your mom, don't ask your family, what do you think if I do this?
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to announce it to the world.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to post about it on social media, and you don't need anybody else's approval.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: This is a promise to yourself.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you're comfortable sharing, I'd love to hear what your small step is.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: You can share it with me or our community, the Reignited Girls.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: We're here to encourage each other, learn from each other, and remind one another that we don't have to have everything figured out.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: And we're not alone anymore.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: As we wrap up today's episode, I want to leave you with just this thought.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're not behind.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you haven't missed your chance.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: And you're not stuck.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're not stuck in the life that you're living right now.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're simply at a point where you're ready to ask yourself, what comes next?
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: And you don't even have to have the whole answer today.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: You can start with one question, one decision, and one small action.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: And tomorrow you can take another step.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's how change happens, not always through one big dramatic movement or moment, but through the small choices that we make over and over again.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: So wherever you are in life right now, I hope you'll give yourself a little grace.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: You have lived, you've learned, you've made it through things you might never have imagined you'd face.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: And you still have the opportunity to decide what you want to do with the days ahead of you.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for spending this time with me on Get It Got It Girl.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: If this episode challenged you, share it with a woman who you might know that needs this reminder.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: Follow the podcast so we can keep having these conversations.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, girl, you don't have to start from scratch to create something different.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: You can start right where you are with what you have and build from there.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, keep showing up for yourself.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: Keep asking the questions that matter, and keep reigniting the parts of you that deserve a little more attention.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get it, girls.