Latest / The Body Love Construct / Pleasure Episode 35

Transcript

Pleasure Episode 35 · The Body Love Construct

• 0:01
  What is our topic today?
• 0:03
  Oh, I don't know.
• 0:05
  Let's, let's talk about pleasure.
• 0:08
  Okay.
• 0:09
  And I don't mean that kind of pleasure.
• 0:11
  Well, all kinds of pleasure.
• 0:13
  All kinds of pleasure.
• 0:14
  Good pleasure.
• 0:15
  Well, actually I am talking about something called dopamine.
• 0:23
  Yes.
• 0:23
  I'm familiar with dopamine.
• 0:25
  That's good.
• 0:25
  But everybody who may not be today, I am actually reading from M.
• 0:30
  D.
• 0:30
  locations on my phone so that I am not quoting anything that is not true or kind of what I think.
• 0:38
  So anyway, dopamine, for those who do not know, is a hormone or transmitter in your brain that goes to your nervous system and it sends messages between our nerve cells.
• 0:51
  These messages also travel between the brain and the rest of our bodies.
• 0:56
  And this neurotransmitter affects your behavior.
• 1:02
  Okay.
• 1:02
  And it plays a role in how we feel pleasure.
• 1:07
  Uh huh.
• 1:07
  Hence the topic, pleasure and rewards.
• 1:10
  Uh huh.
• 1:10
  And it also affects how we think and plan and how we focus and work towards goals and what we find interesting, believe it or not.
• 1:20
  Uh huh.
• 1:20
  Uh huh.
• 1:21
  If you have a deficiency, and again, folks, I am reading from a medical place, um, Deficiency in dopamine can cause problematic changes in mood, memory, sleep, and social behavior.
• 1:39
  And if you have a deficiency in it, you can have, it says sleep deprivation, obesity, drug abuse, saturated fat, fat, excuse me, intake and stress.
• 1:50
  So that sort of leads into, you know, talking about we're in the autumn, we're fully into autumn now and how we are taking care of ourselves.
• 2:00
  And I thought about, you know, it's, it's coming up on my birthday time.
• 2:04
  So I always think about fun things and things that are pleasurable, but also thinking about.
• 2:09
  What we want to talk to our audience about is the self care thing.
• 2:14
  We've talked about self care before.
• 2:16
  I think it's a topic that never goes away.
• 2:18
  We've talked about rest before.
• 2:21
  That never goes away.
• 2:22
  But it is autumn.
• 2:23
  It is time for some changes.
• 2:25
  So keeping in mind that we can control some of how we feel.
• 2:33
  Let's just chat about, you know, what is it that we need to do or what kinds of things can we do?
• 2:39
  Cause I have another little dopamine menu that I'll share in a minute, but just to sort of kick that off as a topic of, of, you know, what are we doing?
• 2:47
  What are you doing or thinking about?
• 2:49
  Well, I have an interesting little bit of information.
• 2:53
  So, um, I have been redoing my Daughter who moved out her, her bedroom.
• 2:59
  And it's just that that room is all about me because I've been married for 29 years and every, I always had to consult somebody with, you know, decor, but this time it's all mine and I don't care if anybody likes it.
• 3:12
  So I was looking for different things.
• 3:14
  I have a gallery wall and I found a wooden shelf in the shape of a dopamine molecule.
• 3:21
  Oh, wow.
• 3:22
  Awesome.
• 3:22
  We are really on topic today.
• 3:25
  Dopamine.
• 3:25
  Dopamine.
• 3:27
  It is so nerdy, but I had to have it and I got it and I put it up and I love it so much.
• 3:32
  So it's shaped like the molecule.
• 3:34
  So there are some flat surfaces and I also found, this is really corny, don't, don't laugh at me.
• 3:39
  So I found some fake chocolate dipped strawberries and I put them on one of the flat surfaces.
• 3:49
  It's kind of like a.
• 3:52
  Meditation altar of sorts.
• 3:54
  Okay.
• 3:54
  And I'm not bringing food into that room.
• 3:56
  So this baked strawberries dipped in chocolate is a, uh, A teaser?
• 4:02
  Yeah.
• 4:03
  To tease you so when you leave the room, You have some real ones.
• 4:09
  When I look at them, I think about that and I'm like, Hmm, really?
• 4:14
  So that's my fun with, with dopamine.
• 4:17
  But, I was learning a lot more about it because I was doing this and the other thing that I did was there's a, there's an exhibit here in DC called the dopamine experience and I went to that, that, that's really cool.
• 4:32
  I, if anybody can do that, it's, it's very cool and so it just, it's an educational experience and you go from room to room and it explains dopamine and what affects it.
• 4:42
  And it has different things in the room that affect it.
• 4:45
  Like there's one room with these lights that hang down.
• 4:48
  It's just really pretty.
• 4:49
  And there's no other reason for that except to make you feel a certain way.
• 4:55
  And each room that you go to makes you feel a certain way.
• 4:59
  And you understand that, oh, okay, I get it.
• 5:02
  We can control our environments.
• 5:03
  So all that to say is one of the main things that I think about, not only with the change of seasons, but when I want to make sure that I'm, You know, it's part of my self care is to create an environment that makes me feel a certain way, increases my dopamine, but, and that would be that room.
• 5:24
  And there's also a whole decor style called dopamine.
• 5:29
  And basically all it is, is that people are paying attention to what they really like and not really following any trends.
• 5:35
  So you take your favorite color, your favorite shape, every favorite thing.
• 5:39
  Now, granted, some of these things look really crazy.
• 5:42
  Yeah.
• 5:42
  But mine is not looking crazy.
• 5:45
  It's basically around yellow because that's my favorite color.
• 5:49
  And so a lot of things are, they have some relationship to sun, whether it's a sunrise or sunset or sun shine on water.
• 5:57
  These are all paintings that I have.
• 5:59
  And I have a big, huge yellow round rug and, uh, the walls are white.
• 6:04
  And every all the furniture is white, but these yellow things make me think about sunshine, which makes me happy And that's my dopamine style Yellow is your color.
• 6:13
  You love yellow and it looks good on you, too It looks kind of faded out on me But every so often I try to sneak some yellow in and it's like take me off No I don't even think I have that much yellow if I have any yellow in my wardrobe.
• 6:27
  It has kind of a Mustardy overtone to it or golden overtone to a yellow I get washed out with too light of a colors.
• 6:37
  Um, where is, do you know the location of where the exhibit is for those of us who are local?
• 6:43
  Yes, it's up on Wisconsin Avenue at Friendship Heights.
• 6:47
  You have to buy tickets online to get in.
• 6:49
  Um, You could, you could go there and then do it, but then, you know, if it was crowded or something like that, you may not be able to.
• 6:55
  So yeah, you go online and just look for the dopamine experience and then you can buy the tickets and go.
• 7:01
  Um, it's right near metro rail also.
• 7:03
  Okay.
• 7:04
  Well, for those of you who do not live in the DC area and can't get to the dopamine exhibit, I want to tell you about the dopamine menu that I came across and it has nothing to do with food, just like.
• 7:18
  The pleasure we're talking about was not necessarily that kind of pleasure but another kind of pleasure But for starters, so it reads just like a menu the starters said sunshine meditation and breath work and I have been as I moved, you know as we move into fall trying to Restart or renew or and I like the word new because you're not starting over.
• 7:42
  You're starting again with my meditation in the morning because I I'm not Feel like over the summer I got away from it.
• 7:50
  And as we've talked about in a previous podcast, having had COVID in the month of, um, August really threw me off of everything.
• 8:01
  So the meditation and breath were breath work.
• 8:03
  I still get to, but my meditation was off.
• 8:06
  So I've sort of.
• 8:09
  Not sort of.
• 8:10
  I had recorded my own meditation, one that I made up just for me and set it to some music and the sound of an ocean, which is what keeps me calm and it's 10 minutes.
• 8:23
  So it's not a long thing, but I have found that I'm really being able to quiet my mind through the 10 minutes and not let any interference get into what I'm trying to do, which is just you know, Let go and start my morning definitely.
• 8:42
  So that's the starter.
• 8:44
  So starters were sunshine, meditation, breath work, however you want to interpret that for yourself.
• 8:49
  The main menu on the main course on the menu is movement, time in nature and new experience.
• 8:56
  Well, of course, movement for me is walking, and I have found all these little notes about reminding me to walk.
• 9:04
  And also trying to get into the rhythm again of walking after, Being much more sedentary when I had COVID than I wanted to be and getting back to, you know, first 30 minutes, 45 minutes.
• 9:19
  The other day I was out for about an hour and I was in nature and took, I can't tell you how many pictures.
• 9:25
  It was me in the gardens and I was taking all these pictures and we were chatting me in the flowers.
• 9:31
  I was having a great time, but the new experience that it's tying into your new experience, which is your, Room that we've chatted about as we started to begin that earlier this summer.
• 9:42
  I Directed my first play it was virtual experience, but it was not so it was not a stage Stage thing so we're not there, but it was a virtual table read for a friend of mine and She had put out a call and said she was looking for directors and actresses And I sent it back and said listen, i've never directed anything, but I have this desire And have had this desire to direct, not a staff, which I've done that before, not direct, you know, setting up an event.
• 10:17
  I've done that plenty of times in a past life.
• 10:21
  We're talking about like directing a play or, directing a play, essentially.
• 10:26
  And, I did a lot of reading on what the role of a director does.
• 10:31
  And I told her, I said, listen, I'm not, and you know, I'm not, but I'd like to, you know, if you find somebody, I will sit, if I can sit with him, that'd be great.
• 10:40
  So I could just start to learn some things.
• 10:42
  And so she said, well, why don't you just do it?
• 10:45
  And I was like, uh, I am a, like, I was the COVID virgin with you last month, this month I was the COVID, I mean, uh, the virgin director and was like, okay.
• 10:58
  So again, I read a lot of information, got as much as I could and doing it virtually, it's not the same as doing the staged production, but I will say that.
• 11:06
  There are some things that overlap and that it was a learning process.
• 11:11
  It was a lot of things.
• 11:13
  You're, you're juggling a lot of balls as a director of anything I can imagine.
• 11:18
  Yeah.
• 11:18
  And it was chaotic, but a good chaotic, not the bad chaotic, you know, where you're like crazy, you know, It was the adrenaline pumping rush kind of chaos that keeps you like going to the next the next the next Yeah, so the night of the the table read I had gotten so caught up in all the we had some script changes We had to change an actress a lot of things had to happen We hadn't had the tech person hadn't been on yet and we had to do the tech thing I forgot to eat make and eat dinner and I had put stuff out to make dinner and in my head in the morning I was like, okay, I'm gonna have dinner.
• 11:52
  I'm gonna relax at five o'clock.
• 11:54
  I'm gonna chill.
• 11:54
  I'm gonna eat We the call time was for six.
• 11:58
  We went live at seven.
• 12:00
  So I'm like, I'll be ready Got to eat, totally forgot to eat, like did not even cross my mind.
• 12:08
  And what that said to me was anytime that I am really into something that I really like and enjoy, um, like when I'm writing something, I'm really deep in my writing or making collage, I forget about everything.
• 12:23
  I can be really slim if I collaged every day, because I tend to not eat When i'm creative, uh huh, you know or or get something to pack, you know Some nuts or something on the table or maybe a salty snack, which is not a good thing You know, but water tea is always around I do keep hydrated So that was my new experience and it affirmed for me that i'm interested in it It was stimulating and inspiring enough that I'm really interested in pursuing and really looking into this.
• 12:52
  Oh, wow.
• 12:53
  Something to do.
• 12:54
  So that to say for those who are listening, try something new.
• 12:58
  That's part of the dopamine because you are so psyched up that it's really, it's pumping you, it's giving you all this energy that you need.
• 13:08
  And I'll say the last thing we'll keep talking is, is dessert.
• 13:11
  And on this particular menu, Dessert was dance, quality, sleep, and practice, gratitude.
• 13:17
  And we know that you like to dance and Lord knows I need to sleep.
• 13:22
  So that is the last thing on the menu for me is trying to get my sleep pattern back.
• 13:27
  Yeah.
• 13:27
  After COVID.
• 13:28
  Yeah.
• 13:28
  Cause it's way off.
• 13:30
  Yeah.
• 13:30
  Mine is off somewhat too.
• 13:31
  And I'm just like, I don't understand why I'm awake at 2 30.
• 13:36
  Yeah, that's not cool.
• 13:37
  Yeah, my my use the time I used to wake up whatever time I would later I would usually wake up at around three now.
• 13:43
  It's one o'clock or 1 30 and i'm like, uh, that's We're not ready to be up at one o'clock two o'clock three o'clock.
• 13:51
  I used to deal with four o'clock is good But it's you know getting your body back Into again, we're going into a different season.
• 14:00
  You and I are both coming off of the same season COVID in the summer.
• 14:04
  And it does not just go away when you test negative.
• 14:08
  There are these other things and I'm not talking about long COVID cause it's a whole nother issue, but just little things about your body have changed and you may not have noticed them.
• 14:18
  And then you start to notice them and I'm still dealing with them.
• 14:23
  Yeah, I am too.
• 14:25
  I didn't want to admit it, but like it goes up and down.
• 14:28
  Sometimes you have lots of energy and then there's other times when you just have to opt out.
• 14:33
  Of something just say forget about it.
• 14:34
  I'm not going to do it.
• 14:36
  Yeah, and and it's okay Um, we we did a podcast about that Yeah And this is a time where you have to take care of yourself and by taking care of yourself It might mean just not doing something.
• 14:48
  Well, we've also talked about Way, I think much earlier in the year Jomo, which is the joy of missing out, you know, giving yourself permission to say no, you don't have to be at everything um You can you can say no And so I saw a new one, you know, you know, I love all these little things I see on Instagram.
• 15:12
  And they're also good because when I'm teaching, they're a little, they're inspirational things to, to, to write about, to think about, to get people to think about these particular things.
• 15:20
  And this one is, I don't know if there's a pronunciation for this really, but I'm going to do it as, as I see it.
• 15:26
  Jogayap, which is J O O, G as in George, A as in Apple, Y, O, P as in Paul.
• 15:34
  And that is the joy of going at your own pace.
• 15:38
  Oh, okay.
• 15:38
  Which I like.
• 15:39
  I sort of like that with Joe Moe and Joe Pe Joe, whatever, Joe Mo Jop.
• 15:45
  Together.
• 15:45
  Because We're always trying to, you know, people are always trying to be and do and go and be with whatever everybody else is doing.
• 15:53
  And this is just saying, go at your own pace, stay in your lane, get your rhythm together, your speed of living, and let it be what is right for you and let go of societal pressure.
• 16:04
  And that also could mean, put your phone down.
• 16:07
  Oh, yeah, always, you know, I use that a lot.
• 16:10
  Um, for my coaching, our lifestyles revolve around these invisible rules that we have in our mind.
• 16:19
  They don't exist really anywhere, but in our minds, but they've been there for so long from many of us from childhood that we don't even realize that they're there and we just follow these rules and, and never question them.
• 16:31
  And that's one of the, The biggest things that we do, um, with the coaching is identify what is actually something that is required of you.
• 16:40
  You know, you've got to pay your taxes, you've got to stop at stop signs, that type of thing.
• 16:44
  But some of these other things you don't have to do.
• 16:46
  You can just decide that, you know, it can be anything.
• 16:50
  Anything from, you know, maybe you don't like to eat dinner.
• 16:53
  Maybe you just like to eat a big lunch and then a snack in the, in the evening, you know, anything, it could be anything at all.
• 17:00
  You know, you don't like to go to birthday parties and you could just, you know, send a gift and don't, I mean, somebody might be mad, but it could be anything.
• 17:08
  Just basically identifying what you really have to do and separating that from what you actually have a choice.
• 17:14
  And then we realized that we have a lot of choices.
• 17:17
  We really do.
• 17:18
  We have a lot of choice and a lot of control over how we live.
• 17:21
  And once you realize that, it kind of frees you up to not feel so constricted by the things that we do really have to do, because you're free to do the things that you don't.
• 17:31
  Well, essentially, everything is a choice.
• 17:35
  Yeah, that's true.
• 17:36
  Everything is a choice.
• 17:38
  And interesting that you said that because some movies, one of my old movies, cause you know, I like old black and white movies is, Oh no, no, no, sorry.
• 17:46
  Not an old black and white movie.
• 17:47
  It's the devil wears Prada.
• 17:50
  And towards the very end, you know, the main character is with the Meryl Streep character and she's saying, you know, everybody has choices and she says, you know, I didn't have a choice.
• 18:02
  I came because the girl who was supposed to come to Paris got sick.
• 18:06
  And the Meryl Streep character says, no, you made a choice.
• 18:10
  Everybody makes choices.
• 18:11
  And essentially, people can't force a choice on you because the circumstantial thing has happened.
• 18:19
  Whatever the circumstantial thing that has happened is, that's what you're making the choice about.
• 18:25
  And we have, and it's what, what I saw that as, and what I do think that is, is the feeling of guilt.
• 18:32
  Yes, if you make a choice that is for you for your personal self We feel guilty about choosing ourselves.
• 18:43
  Yes, that is so true and You know, and it's so crazy because essentially so many times we don't choose ourselves we choose someone else Or something else to our detriment and I'm not suggesting, let me just be clear.
• 19:02
  I'm not suggesting that you would not choose someone over yourself if there was a very critical situation.
• 19:08
  Like if one of my friends in my family was, you know, ill and they said, and, and I'm supposed to be doing this and I'm, can you come to, to me now?
• 19:16
  You're going to go.
• 19:17
  Right.
• 19:18
  You're going to go unless you're opening on Broadway.
• 19:19
  I'll see you later.
• 19:21
  You're going to be interviewed for some wonderful job.
• 19:26
  I mean, you know, those are those kinds of things where you have to figure that out.
• 19:30
  So again, it's not always.
• 19:32
  The choices are not always easy, but essentially what I'm saying is everything is a choice.
• 19:37
  You just have to figure out what you're, what you're going to choose and then how you're going to deal with it or how that's going to affect you based on what you decided to do.
• 19:45
  Right.
• 19:45
  That that's exactly true.
• 19:47
  Cause you could break the law.
• 19:48
  But you better consider you might be in jail.
• 19:51
  We're not suggesting that you make a choice to break the law.
• 19:54
  You might go to jail.
• 19:56
  But then again, you know, you also have to think about I don't want to get into this too deeply because everything has another side of it.
• 20:04
  When would you break the law?
• 20:06
  You know, so there are times when you might break the law for the right reason.
• 20:11
  That's true.
• 20:12
  Yeah, like good trouble.
• 20:14
  Yeah, like good trouble.
• 20:16
  So there's times when you would You break the law.
• 20:18
  And good trouble, of course, sort of conjures up protesting and, you know, standing up for something and deciding to go to jail because Right.
• 20:28
  And you make that choice, you think it through, and that's the main idea, that you think it through and see how important it is to you and whether or not you're willing to deal with the consequences of your actions.
• 20:37
  Right.
• 20:38
  And you know, maybe sometimes when you make the difficult choice and choose not to do something that maybe everyone else is doing, perhaps in the back of your mind, there's another opportunity for you to do something in that ilk.
• 20:49
  That's a better time.
• 20:51
  When you feel it's right for you, you know, so I don't know that every day I would choose to go to jail if I was protesting.
• 20:57
  Well, it does.
• 20:58
  I'm too old now to go to jail.
• 21:02
  But you know, so I would probably say, okay, I'm going to be at the purchaser.
• 21:05
  I'm going to do this to help along the cause or something at that.
• 21:08
  Yeah.
• 21:09
  Yeah.
• 21:10
  But, but again, it's sort of back to the back to self care.
• 21:14
  Um, Really, that's sort of the general basis of this whole conversation is taking care of ourselves and whatever that pleasure, whatever dopamine, all those things that give us that opportunity to have pleasure in our lives.
• 21:28
  But essentially, we drive away pleasure when we stress ourselves out or we don't take care of ourselves.
• 21:34
  Right.
• 21:34
  And sometimes we just overlook the small pleasures that you can actually have without.
• 21:41
  Actually doing anything or having to get anything or buy anything.
• 21:45
  Sometimes the small pleasure is right in front of you and you just have to partake in it.
• 21:50
  And don't ignore it.
• 21:52
  And stress is one of the things that cause you to overlook these things.
• 21:55
  Yeah.
• 21:55
  So it all kind of fits together.
• 21:57
  Self care, stress reduction, and allowing us, ourselves, to experience pleasure.
• 22:03
  Well, you know, it sort of, when you think about, when you said that, it conjured up to me, This whole, it's a, it's been around the word glimmer and what are your, the glimmers in your day and it's, you know, so taking it to away from glimmers, but what are the little things that you could miss because the glimmer are the things that you just might not miss if you're not paying attention.
• 22:29
  And so I'll go back to going through the gardens the other day.
• 22:32
  Well, I.
• 22:35
  draw immense pleasure from taking photographs of flowers.
• 22:39
  I just do.
• 22:40
  And the more, you know, I just get so into it and really, I don't always look for the picture.
• 22:46
  I want the picture to come to me.
• 22:48
  I want the flower to, make me notice it.
• 22:52
  And sometimes I'm looking, sometimes I'm not, and I'll see it and it'll, I'll have this interaction with it.
• 22:58
  But those are the glimmers for me.
• 22:59
  It is that one shot that I took during the day that was just the one that somebody else probably missed because they weren't In tune to where they were, or they were just, you know, sort of glossing or running through that garden as opposed to spending time in that garden.
• 23:18
  Again, everybody doesn't have time, sort of, to spend, so you might pass through, but you miss things.
• 23:22
  Right.
• 23:23
  In the rush of trying to get to the next.
• 23:26
  Right.
• 23:26
  And Tina's photos are spectacular.
• 23:29
  I mean, if you can experience them, even if you're not there, that's amazing.
• 23:33
  That's also, you know, like spreading the pleasure.
• 23:35
  Thank you.
• 23:36
  But, but I understand also because like I walk around sometimes in my neighborhood and for some reason, I live in the heart of the city, urban, but we have birds that sound like a jungle here.
• 23:47
  I don't know if you noticed that.
• 23:48
  It sounds like a total, like, I don't know what kind of birds are outside every now and then, if I look closely enough, I'll get a glimpse of some, but sometimes I can't, a lot of times I can't see them, but I hear these noises, especially early in the morning.
• 24:02
  And they sound absolutely like I live in the Amazon and I love it.
• 24:06
  Sometimes they're like waking me up and I feel like, but then I'm like, that's so amazing that we have these birds here doing whatever they're doing out there.
• 24:14
  Yeah.
• 24:16
  In the springtime I noticed early.
• 24:19
  So when I was before COVID, when I was waking up at three, not two, uh, but three, three 30 ish, I used to turn over around that time.
• 24:29
  And there are, I don't know if they're nightingales, what they were, it was all this beautiful bird singing early before it's even dawn.
• 24:38
  It's not even close to the sun coming up yet.
• 24:41
  And there's just all this beautiful singing.
• 24:43
  Now in my neighborhood, I'm, I'm near the nearest near to the highway.
• 24:47
  You're a little tucked in.
• 24:49
  You're very tucked in as a matter of fact away from the highway.
• 24:52
  So the birds around me, um, sing loud.
• 24:55
  Thank goodness.
• 24:57
  They can sing over the traffic sometimes but it really is this really beautiful sound doesn't sound like i'm in the tropics It just sounds like you know If I close my eyes now, like i'm just laying on the beach wait and the moon is out and you know I can hear them just singing singing.
• 25:12
  It was so pretty and I always think, oh, this is my morning, my morning glory music is, is happening, you know, outside my window and outside my bedroom window.
• 25:23
  I actually am up high enough where I, when I look out, I see trees now.
• 25:29
  Bad bad people who have cut down a lot of the branches off the trees because they came to my area for a while and I understood they were trying to Make sure that the building wasn't so shadowed and people could rob other people on the lower floors and that sort of thing Or climb into your window if they climb because when I first moved there You could literally walk out the window walk into the tree.
• 25:52
  So they actually In a good way, you know, I used to say that's my treehouse, you know, summertime, I would open up, you know, I blind and just sit there and work and the trees would be there.
• 26:02
  So it's really beautiful, you know, to have all of that outside the window.
• 26:06
  So spending time in nature was on as you know, was on that dopamine list.
• 26:11
  I think that was in this in the starters, part of the menu of the dopamine menu, but being outside, wherever that is in nature for you.
• 26:22
  Get out there and take it in.
• 26:25
  Yeah, it's true.
• 26:25
  Sometimes when I'm feeling down and I just don't want to get up at all.
• 26:30
  And for some reason I have to, it, it definitely lifts the mood.
• 26:35
  Just going outside and, you know, just being out in the daylight, it changes things.
• 26:41
  I don't know how it works, but it works.
• 26:43
  Well, I think there's a lot of, a lot of studies and a lot of reading that say that getting out for sunshine and they're not talking about standing there to get cancer in the sun, but that we do need to soak in some sunlight at some point in the day, you know, put on your sunscreen, but get out there and let that sun get on you.
• 27:03
  And that does lift your spirits.
• 27:06
  But you have to be open to these things.
• 27:09
  You know, we say these things or you read, people read these things and then they throw a negative energy over them.
• 27:17
  Like, Oh, that's not going to work.
• 27:18
  If you say it's corny, you're not going to work.
• 27:21
  It's going to be corny.
• 27:22
  And it's not going to work.
• 27:23
  Yeah.
• 27:23
  But I am here to say.
• 27:26
  Because I swear by something.
• 27:27
  I, I, of course, you know, the, and the audience may know from previous podcasts, you know, I'm trained in mindfulness, I have certifications in various energy works.
• 27:38
  And did I believe this before I took them?
• 27:41
  Part of me had to, or I probably wouldn't have explored them in the depth that I did.
• 27:44
  I did do them because I was trying to bring this work to the hospital that I worked at.
• 27:49
  So it was part of that.
• 27:50
  But after leaving the hospital, I did.
• 27:53
  Practice.
• 27:55
  And the thing is, it is, it's practice, so practice will be two words.
• 28:00
  Practice meaning the, I hate the word work.
• 28:04
  I say the use of my gifts to provide services to someone.
• 28:10
  And then there's practice, meaning you have to do it.
• 28:12
  You can't just say, well, okay, okay, today I'm going to do my breath work and then I'll get to it next week.
• 28:19
  It is the consistent practice of practicing.
• 28:23
  Right.
• 28:24
  To, to master, I hate that word too.
• 28:28
  I got to find another word for it.
• 28:29
  Master.
• 28:30
  Something.
• 28:32
  Mistressy.
• 28:32
  That, that, that doesn't make it any better.
• 28:36
  But, you know, in order, in other words, where you are, you have become more of an expert in whatever, that's for the lack of what I want to say at the moment, but.
• 28:44
  Um, but you have to keep doing it.
• 28:48
  Yeah.
• 28:48
  You have to keep doing it.
• 28:49
  And if you fall out of the practice, getting back to it when you can.
• 28:54
  Mm-Hmm.
• 28:55
  and then not trying to do, if you were doing 30 minutes and then you skip the whole month, you're not gonna do 30 minutes right away, get back to the one minute, to two minute to three minute breath work, practice, you know, practicing meditation and get back to it.
• 29:09
  Right.
• 29:10
  Yeah.
• 29:11
  And you have to do anything to notice.
• 29:14
  Even, you know, like with exercise, the consistency, I know a lot of people who will exercise every now and then.
• 29:23
  It's just inconsistent.
• 29:25
  I mean, you could do it further apart.
• 29:26
  You don't have, like, maybe, maybe you just exercise once a week.
• 29:33
  If you do it every week, it is consistency.
• 29:35
  I mean, you could probably add some, but it's still consistent.
• 29:38
  So you might see some difference, but you know, if you do like once a week and then you wait three weeks and then you wait a month and then you come back and try to do it every day, it doesn't have the same effect.
• 29:49
  No, it doesn't.
• 29:50
  But I do know that the body has body memory.
• 29:53
  And even after being away from my morning stretches and walking during the time I had COVID and was also what I called in the healing process after I tested negative, when I got on the floor to do my stretches, I was like, Oh my God, I'm not gonna be able to do anything.
• 30:12
  But it wasn't true.
• 30:14
  It was almost like the muscle memory is like, okay, we remember you can't do as many.
• 30:20
  And maybe not to the degree, but we remember how to do it and you'll get back to it.
• 30:27
  So if you, you know, we talk about body love and if you love your body, it will respond to you.
• 30:33
  It really will.
• 30:34
  And if it doesn't just be gentle, cause I do high intensity.
• 30:39
  And I could not really do much.
• 30:42
  I already had it in my brain that I was just going to go there and do what I can.
• 30:45
  I have to keep on reminding myself cause I feel competitive with myself when I exercise.
• 30:50
  And so I just had to do a little bit of stuff.
• 30:52
  I mean, I really had to dial it down.
• 30:55
  Mhm.
• 30:55
  A lot because I couldn't do what I was doing before because I, you know, my daughter, she's a scientist and she was like, you had a respiratory infection, right?
• 31:03
  So you have to build that back up.
• 31:05
  And when she told me that I was like, that makes total sense.
• 31:08
  I need to just calm down and stop worrying about it and just take it one step at a time.
• 31:13
  Yeah.
• 31:15
  Well, I think it's important again to find what, what brings you pleasure and understanding that when you find those things, what it's doing to your body and what it's doing to your mind, body, soul, and spirit.
• 31:31
  Because the more that we seek out those things, I think I shared with you, um, that I had, had this moment of wondering, you know, if my life had any bliss anymore, like what is bliss?
• 31:43
  And I had to sit down and really think about the word bliss, what it meant to me, what gave me that feeling.
• 31:51
  So I gave myself a little thing, bliss, using the words B L I S S.
• 31:55
  SS is bliss is a benediction that is lifting, intriguing, satiating, and splendid.
• 32:03
  And then I just listed all the, a few things that give me bliss.
• 32:08
  And I want to make sure that I'm incorporating that with the glimmers that I talked about.
• 32:14
  I have a running list of my glimmers and it's quite long and I read it every morning, every morning and I don't care what is going on.
• 32:23
  I read it.
• 32:24
  It's a, it's a long list.
• 32:25
  It takes a minute or two to read because I didn't realize how many things really bring me joy and they're not huge things, right?
• 32:35
  They're like little things.
• 32:37
  The tiny things are, are the most challenging to find.
• 32:41
  I'm going to do that.
• 32:41
  I think I'm going to follow you and write this list because you forget some things.
• 32:47
  And for me also, I think about things like season.
• 32:50
  I always think about seasons and you know, things that I love in the summertime and then fall comes and I kind of get.
• 32:56
  I get kind of sad in the fall because all the summer fun is over.
• 33:00
  But when you think about it, really, it has to be over because I can't keep that up all year.
• 33:06
  But, um, you know, having a list like that would help me remember, okay, fall has some glimmers as well.
• 33:13
  I'm just not thinking about them because i'm too busy being sad that my fun from the summer is over But the thing is the summer, you know The summer will come again and you'll be able to do that and some more things and so it is finding The things if you want to look at it in seasons seasonally what brings you, you know, joy the little things like last week or so I was In a really kind of funky mood in the morning And I was like, okay, i'm definitely gonna go walk and I walked out the front door and had I just been in still in the Mood, you know when I walked up there I said, okay, we're gonna have a great walk this morning I walked out the weather was perfect It felt good and there on the step Was one ladybug one little ladybug and had I been rushing out with The attitude that I had earlier, which was again, uh, I was like, when I got to the door, I was like, okay, let's enjoy it.
• 34:18
  It shifted.
• 34:19
  And there she was.
• 34:21
  And I took her picture.
• 34:22
  So I walked and I, you know, walked for about 45 minutes.
• 34:26
  When I came back, she wasn't there.
• 34:29
  You would have missed her.
• 34:30
  She was there for me so that it was changing, further changing my mood for the morning.
• 34:38
  And then my walk was just even better because I was so happy to see her.
• 34:43
  And I didn't, and I realized, Ladybug, uh, was not on my glimmer list, so I changed, I added to the glimmer list.
• 34:50
  Mm hmm.
• 34:51
  Not ladybugs for just one.
• 34:53
  Right.
• 34:54
  Seeing that one ladybug just changed the entire rest of the spirit that I was trying to get to, to take this walk.
• 35:02
  Mm hmm.
• 35:03
  And it's those little things.
• 35:05
  It's just, it is little things like that.
• 35:08
  It is the littlest thing.
• 35:09
  And I do have them, the simps, some of them are seasonal, the things that I have on my list.
• 35:14
  And then other things have to do with writing and creating and that sort of thing.
• 35:19
  Um, but whatever brings you that, Bliss or the glimmer or whatever is the joy.
• 35:26
  Um, look for them or find them and find them in your day And the glimmers are really supposed to be a thing that show up when you don't even expect it But you need to be open to seeing them or feeling them or knowing when they come And sometimes it does come through social media.
• 35:41
  I was sad to say but There are moments that something comes across my social media and it was A message I needed to see just that moment or a photograph or somebody else's picture of something that just was like, oh my god This is beautiful Yeah That just makes me stop and turn the sound on when people have the ocean or they're at a place and I listen to it and it just Lifts my whole mood.
• 36:07
  Anytime the ocean is involved.
• 36:09
  Yes.
• 36:10
  I am completely lifted immediately.
• 36:12
  Like as soon as I had the splash of a wave, I am standing in East Hampton.
• 36:17
  I went to East Hampton a few years back and stood on the beach in the morning.
• 36:21
  And it was like, just, I've been to a lot of beaches and stood at morning, but it was, I don't know what it was.
• 36:27
  It was just this great one.
• 36:29
  It was really fresh and it was in November.
• 36:31
  So it wasn't.
• 36:32
  During the summer or warmer months.
• 36:34
  It was I usually go to the beach when people are not there So usually I'm there in April somewhere.
• 36:39
  Mm hmm So I really hadn't been to a beach area in November or really long or a fall meaning that late into fall Mm hmm for a long time.
• 36:49
  It was refreshing It's so refreshing.
• 36:54
  I went, um, last year we went in October and it was chilly and the water temperature and the air temperature were the same.
• 37:02
  And, but I loved it so much, but.
• 37:06
  I was shivering.
• 37:07
  So I was like, I was wondering if I was like, when you're, I don't know, when I was a little kid, I used to love the water so much that my lip would be blue and I'm shivering and I'm still in it.
• 37:19
  I would be numb.
• 37:19
  You know how your fingers get pruned.
• 37:21
  Yeah.
• 37:21
  I would say we used to go to Martha's beard.
• 37:23
  I would be in the water for hours.
• 37:27
  I mean, just being there for hours, whether I was swimming or floating, I would be in that water for hours.
• 37:35
  Everybody else be up on the beach.
• 37:36
  I'd be right just in there.
• 37:37
  It's a wonderful feeling.
• 37:38
  It really is.
• 37:39
  And for me, the other thing is the, the shades of blue that you see in the ocean.
• 37:46
  And one place that I am, I'm hoping that I get to go to sometime is Maldives.
• 37:52
  Because when I see these pictures pop up, that shade of blue, and the thing is I try to recreate, find it, that shade of blue so I can paint something that color, but I really haven't made that.
• 38:02
  I haven't been able to do that yet, but it's just like the most calming, settling, refreshing color on earth.
• 38:11
  Well, you know, down in the Caribbean, I mean, and anywhere, once you get south of Florida, it seems like the water is blue and I'm not a big Florida person, but the water at Florida Beach is.
• 38:22
  Is spectacular.
• 38:23
  Yeah.
• 38:24
  I don't know what happens when it comes north.
• 38:26
  I don't, I don't need to know right now, but all that, you know, dirt and silt or whatever is floating up to the, you know, north, you know, the beaches in Jersey where I mean, I lived in Jersey for most of my life.
• 38:42
  Water in Jersey is not great, although I love Cape May, and certainly the water in the vineyard is not always, you know, the most spectacular.
• 38:50
  When I went to Plum Island, which is off Massachusetts, close to Maine, The water was, was beautiful.
• 39:02
  Wow.
• 39:03
  It wasn't, you know, it was, it was blue.
• 39:05
  Let me just say that.
• 39:06
  It wasn't like the Caribbean where it's that sort of greenish, turquoise y blue.
• 39:10
  Yeah.
• 39:10
  blue.
• 39:11
  Yeah.
• 39:12
  Like if you've ever been on a cruise ship, and out there, way out there, that, that's a different experience.
• 39:19
  Blue that makes you almost wanna be in it, but I know that I'm not gonna be in it.
• 39:25
  indigo.
• 39:25
  I love indigo.
• 39:26
  I think that's how you say indigo.
• 39:28
  Indi Indigo.
• 39:29
  Indigo.
• 39:29
  Indigo.
• 39:30
  Thank you.
• 39:30
  Woo.
• 39:31
  Indigo blue.
• 39:32
  Yeah.
• 39:32
  There's something about that depth of blue.
• 39:35
  Mm-Hmm.
• 39:35
  It's just mesmerizing.
• 39:38
  But the, the, and I like the clarity of, of the Caribbean and the Southern.
• 39:41
  Yeah.
• 39:42
  But basically that cloudiness it's nutrients.
• 39:45
  Well, there's some ugly nutrients, I know, plankton and all of those things that the fish need.
• 39:51
  But you know, I also, um, when I was over in Italy, at the Mediterranean, it was Yeah, I've seen those pictures too.
• 40:02
  And also in Egypt, the water is just It's just beautiful water.
• 40:07
  Uh, we could just travel from place to place looking at different colors of water.
• 40:10
  Different colors of water.
• 40:11
  Yeah, it is, it is pretty spectacular to, to uh, and I know what you mean by trying to capture it.
• 40:17
  It is, cause I, collage, I try to find those colors and I keep uh, A box of colorful pins next to my bed when I'm journaling.
• 40:25
  So every time I use them and I gravitate to all of those, but I'm not using red and orange and the bright, you know, fiesta, whatever, whatever it is that gives you joy or helps you find that.
• 40:41
  That's what we're talking about is giving, um, driving up and making sure that your dopamine is functioning and working and that you don't have to use the drug dopamine, because there is a drug called dopamine.
• 40:53
  Oh, really?
• 40:54
  I didn't know that.
• 40:54
  I found it today when I was looking, I don't want that one.
• 40:57
  We don't want that.
• 40:58
  We want the natural thing.
• 41:01
  So at any rate, whatever you find in the pleasure, And whatever pleasure means to you, we hope you can find a way to bring that to yourself.
• 41:09
  Yes, it is very important.
• 41:11
  It's just like bodied love.
• 41:13
  Bodied love is like generational wealth.
• 41:16
  We must pass it on.
• 41:18
  Bye.
• 41:19
  Bye.
• 41:20
  Thank you for listening to another episode of the Body Love Construct, where we have intelligent opinion based conversations around reconstructing the generational conditioning that has influenced Black women's narratives about themselves.
• 41:33
  Our main purpose with the Body Love Construct and this podcast is to engage our audience by having more non traditional conversations about present day and historical issues, situations, behaviors, events, and beliefs that affect how we see ourselves and how others perceive, make assumptions about, copy, treat, see, or unsee us as Black women.
• 41:57
  Through our discussions, we hope you will find something that gets you to thinking about the stories you formed about yourself.
• 42:02
  Self and determine if perhaps it's time to rethink a few things.
• 42:07
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• 42:16
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