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Common Courtesy: The Secret Ingredient to an Uncommonly Good Marriage · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well for October 21, 2026 Common Courtesy The secret ingredient
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  to an uncommonly good marriage Part of being nice to your spouse boils down
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  to applying common courtesy.
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  It has been noted that in modern society, common courtesy is no longer so common.
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  After three-plus decades of working with couples, I can say it's also not nearly
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  as common in marriage as it should be.
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  And sometimes that is true for folks who honestly love each other.
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  All too often, familiarity breeds taking each other for granted,
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  You know your spouse loves you You know they understand your current stress
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  You know they will overlook your minor slights And all that makes it too easy
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  to not give the most important person in your life Things you do for others,
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  As I run through a list of things I consider common courtesy in marriage Ask
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  yourself the last time you fell short on each of these This is intended to be
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  informative, not condemning So give yourself grace,
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  Say, please, thank you, you're welcome, and excuse me All the time When you're
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  grumpy or short, admit as much, apologize, then do better,
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  Say, I love you, first or almost first thing in the morning,
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  and last thing each night Greet your spouse warmly when you come home,
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  and kiss them goodbye when you part.
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  Look at your spouse when they are talking to you, and let them finish sentences without interrupting,
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  Let them finish their own stories, even though you have heard it a thousand
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  times Show up on time when you're meeting them If you're not going to be on
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  time, let your spouse know as early as possible Note, if you are routinely late, that's a choice,
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  Share your schedule with your spouse Not just what directly impacts them,
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  share everything Keep shared spaces reasonably tidy.
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  Be aware of any noise you are making Try to find the best times for loud or
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  irritating noises Use headphones Teach your children to do these things with
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  your spouse Expect your parents to show your spouse courtesy.
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  Did you find a few you need to work on? Go for it. This is Paul,
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  and common courtesy can lead to an uncommonly well-done marriage.