Latest / Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor / Mojo Monday - The Art of Stillness: Creating Calm Amongst the Chaos by Carly Taylor

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Mojo Monday - The Art of Stillness: Creating Calm Amongst the Chaos by Carly Taylor · Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor

• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Mojo Monday. I'm
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Carly Taylor, and if you're new to the Paul Tayler podcast,
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: you're probably wondering where Paul is. So he is taking
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: a break from Mojo Mondays. We were doing these together,
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: but he's currently doing his PhD. But of course he
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: is still around for his wisdom Wednesdays, and he has
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: a guest on Saturdays, so be sure to tune in
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: on those two days as well. But today we are
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: diving into a topic that is pretty relevant in our
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  Speaker 1: fast paced world, and that is the importance of incorporating
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  Speaker 1: stillness into our lives.
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  Speaker 2: So here's a question for you.
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  Speaker 1: When was the last time in your waking hours that
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  Speaker 1: you were truly still, so still, just for even a
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  Speaker 1: few minutes or a moment without your phone or computer,
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  Speaker 1: and you were just present. In today's world of busyness
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  Speaker 1: and distraction, it's almost like we have been conditioned to
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  Speaker 1: be constantly active, constantly doing stuff. And I've thought about
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: this comparison of when I was young. So I was
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  Speaker 1: I was a teenager in the eighties and my parents
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  Speaker 1: were busy, but it's not like the busyness of today.
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  Speaker 2: I think there was a comfortable.
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  Speaker 1: Level of technology, but it wasn't like that technology was
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  Speaker 1: controlling us. So there was less technology and fewer distractions
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: and more physical connections with others. And I know that
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  Speaker 1: it can be quite easy to be nostalgic about the
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  Speaker 1: past and just kind of remember the good bits, But
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  Speaker 1: I do feel that there was more spa back then
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: for stillness that there is today now. Deliberate stillness can
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  Speaker 1: feel unproductive, and it can even feel uncomfortable, and for many,
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  Speaker 1: especially in the Western world, stillness doesn't really come naturally,
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  Speaker 1: and finding time to practice stillness feels quite unnatural. And
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  Speaker 1: that's until you actually start to feel the benefits, and
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  Speaker 1: then it does feel natural. And I think through consistent
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  Speaker 1: practice we can actually start to crave it, not as
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  Speaker 1: an escape, we're not escaping from anything, but incorporating it
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  Speaker 1: as an integral part of our sort of personal growth.
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  Speaker 1: I am someone who's always found it easy to be
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  Speaker 1: in stillness. Being in nature calms me, and I can
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  Speaker 1: really crave it. I just love being in nature. And
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  Speaker 1: if you've been listening for a while, you will know
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  Speaker 1: that I journal, so I reflect my life and it
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  Speaker 1: really helps me to set my intentions for the day.
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  Speaker 1: I enjoy being curious about others, and I can only
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  Speaker 1: do this by putting away the distraction of my devices
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  Speaker 1: and being intentionally present in the moment. And I actually
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  Speaker 1: I used to think there was something wrong with me
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  Speaker 1: for finding peace in stillness, but now I really see
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  Speaker 1: it as an essential aspect of my well being. So
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  Speaker 1: Ryan Halliday, who I'm sure many of you have heard of,
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  Speaker 1: wrote a book called Stillness is the Key. In this book,
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  Speaker 1: Key explores how great people in history have embraced stillness
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  Speaker 1: to achieve clarity and peace and greatness. Figures like Marcus Aurelius,
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  Speaker 1: the Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher, who found time for meditation.
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  Speaker 1: He wrote a book called Meditations, and he reflected on
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  Speaker 1: his life on his relationships despite the fact that he
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  Speaker 1: was in a really demanding role. Abraham Lincoln, who was
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  Speaker 1: facing immense pressures during the Civil War, often sought solitude
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  Speaker 1: and quiet contemplation to make his most crucial decisions. And
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  Speaker 1: there are many many other people great people in history
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  Speaker 1: that have used stillness to help them in their roles
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  Speaker 1: in life.
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  Speaker 2: You know, they.
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  Speaker 1: Understood the power of stillness and they used it to
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  Speaker 1: guide their actions to help them make decisions and kind
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  Speaker 1: of guide their thinking. And Ryan Holiday he beautifully articulates
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  Speaker 1: the power of stillness and he writes it's an achievable
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  Speaker 1: path to enlightenment and excellence, greatness and happiness, performance as
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  Speaker 1: well as presence for every kind of person. So stillness
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  Speaker 1: is not not just about physical inactivity. It's a state
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  Speaker 1: of mind that allows us to be fully present, to
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  Speaker 1: connect with our inner sels, and to find I guess,
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  Speaker 1: a sense of clarity amongst our busy lives and amongst
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  Speaker 1: all the noise. So today I would like to share
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  Speaker 1: with you five tips to bring more stillness into your life.
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  Speaker 1: These practices they're quite simple, but they can be really
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  Speaker 1: effective and they can help you cultivate a sense of
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  Speaker 1: peace and balance. Even when you feel like you are
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  Speaker 1: in the busiest time or life is incomplete chaos, you
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  Speaker 1: can always find moments for stillness. So Tip one is
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  Speaker 1: start your day in stillness. So one of the best
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  Speaker 1: ways to incorporate stillness into your life is by starting
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  Speaker 1: the day with stillness. So this could be in the
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  Speaker 1: form of of meditation, even if it's just a few
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  Speaker 1: minutes deep breathing, exercise, exercises, journaling, or simply sitting quietly
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  Speaker 1: with your thoughts, make a cup of tea, and just sit.
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  Speaker 2: For a few minutes.
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  Speaker 1: Ryan Holiday suggests that if you want peace and serenity,
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  Speaker 1: stop looking for it in external things and start looking inside.
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  Speaker 1: And I really love that quote. So taking just a
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  Speaker 1: few minutes each morning to sent to yourself can set
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  Speaker 1: a calm and focus tone for the rest of the day.
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  Speaker 1: And additionally, do this before inputs. And what I mean
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  Speaker 1: by that is before text messages, social media, the news.
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  Speaker 1: And I'll tell you why in a second. But my suggestion,
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  Speaker 1: and if you have heard Paul talk, he really drums
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  Speaker 1: this in, is to keep your mobile phone out of
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  Speaker 1: the bedroom and invest in a ten dollars digital alarm clock.
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  Speaker 1: That's what we have at home. We do not use
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  Speaker 1: our mobiles as alarm clocks. And the reason why is
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  Speaker 1: because neuroscience tells us that having your phone within reach,
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  Speaker 1: even if it's on aeroplane mode, can lead to this
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  Speaker 1: automatic connection with inputs, and it makes your brain alert
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  Speaker 1: and active.
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  Speaker 2: And if you are reaching.
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  Speaker 1: For your phone before your feet have even hit the floor,
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  Speaker 1: it can increase your stress and anxiety levels right from
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  Speaker 1: the start of the day. So whether it's checking emails, messages,
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  Speaker 1: the news that can cause you to have a stress
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  Speaker 1: response before you've even left the room. And your kids
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  Speaker 1: should not be starting the day on their phones. And
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  Speaker 1: I am going to go into a bit of a
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  Speaker 1: passionate rant on this one.
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  Speaker 2: I'll give it. I'll give a story. I'll tell your story.
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  Speaker 1: The other day, my son Oscar, he had a friend
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  Speaker 1: over to stay and we have this blank rule, no
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  Speaker 1: mobiles in the bedroom, so the mobiles were charging. And
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  Speaker 1: then when they woke up in the morning, they came
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  Speaker 1: upstairs and his friend checked his phone and he said, Wow,
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  Speaker 1: I've got over six hundred messages. And I just was flabbergasted.
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  Speaker 1: I thought this was crazy. And that is the way
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  Speaker 1: many of our kids are starting their days. They're picking
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  Speaker 1: up their phone and checking their messages before they've even
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  Speaker 1: come out for breakfast. And the best way to manage
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  Speaker 1: this is to lead by example. Get your phone out
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  Speaker 1: of the room and make it a household blanket rule
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  Speaker 1: for everybody. Because if you remove this immediate source of distraction,
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  Speaker 1: you're allowing your mind to wake up more naturally and peacefully.
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  Speaker 1: You're setting the stage for a calmer morning. You're bringing
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  Speaker 1: stillness into the morning, and if you're not convinced, try
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  Speaker 1: it for a week or two and see what difference
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  Speaker 1: it does make. Okay, So Tip two we're still on
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  Speaker 1: the technology for this one, and that is about creating
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  Speaker 1: digital boundaries. So Cal Newport, who is the author of
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  Speaker 1: Digital Minimalism, he recommends setting specific times to check emails
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  Speaker 1: and social media rather than constantly being plugged in and
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  Speaker 1: constantly having alerts. So by creating these digital boundaries, you
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  Speaker 1: give yourself the space to be present and you engage
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  Speaker 1: deeper and your activities become a lot more meaningful. And
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  Speaker 1: then Tip three is getting out in nature, which is
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  Speaker 1: one of my favorites. So spending time in nature is
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  Speaker 1: so powerful. It's a way to achieve this feeling of stillness.
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  Speaker 1: Nature has a calming effect on our minds and bodies.
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  Speaker 1: And there's a quote by John Muir in every walk
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  Speaker 1: with nature one receives far more than he seeks. So
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  Speaker 1: whether it's a walk in the park, or a hike
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  Speaker 1: in the bush, or simply just being in your garden,
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  Speaker 1: getting out in nature allows you to disconnect from the
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  Speaker 1: busyness of life and really reconnect with yourself. Tip four.
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  Speaker 1: And this will not be a surprise. It's about cultivating gratitude.
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  Speaker 1: Gratitude is a powerful practice that can help us achieve
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  Speaker 1: stillness and taking time each day to reflect on what
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  Speaker 1: we're grateful for, we can shift our attention from what's
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  Speaker 1: lacking to what's really abundant in our lives. The simple
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  Speaker 1: act of appreciation can bring this sense of contentment and peace.
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  Speaker 1: I have a client who every morning wakes up and
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  Speaker 1: says to her self, I am so grateful to be alive,
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  Speaker 1: and what an amazing way to start the day. The
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  Speaker 1: final tip, tip number five is practice mindful waiting. I
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  Speaker 1: heard this on a podcast the other day and I cannot,
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  Speaker 1: for the life of me remember what podcast it was
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  Speaker 1: or who said it, but thank you to the person
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  Speaker 1: who did say it, because I really love this advice.
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  Speaker 1: So we all have times when we're just waiting. So
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  Speaker 1: it might be we're waiting for our coffee to be
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  Speaker 1: made in a cafe, maybe in a doctor's surgery.
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  Speaker 2: And they're running late, which is the usual thing.
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  Speaker 1: We're waiting for a meeting to start, or we wait
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  Speaker 1: for the kettle to boil. So instead of that giving
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  Speaker 1: into that automatic urge to pick up your phone to
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  Speaker 1: check social media or the news or emails or whatever.
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  Speaker 1: Just leave it in your pocket or your bag and
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  Speaker 1: use these times to practice just being in stillness. And
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  Speaker 1: a way to do this is to engage your senses. So,
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  Speaker 1: for example, when you're waiting in a cafe for your latte,
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  Speaker 1: keep your mobile phone in your bag or pocket, and
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  Speaker 1: then notice what you can see. Just look around you.
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  Speaker 1: What are the layers of sound that you can hear,
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  Speaker 1: Are there any textures that you can feel or touch?
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  Speaker 1: And what aroamas are in the air. These are perfect
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  Speaker 1: opportunities to practice stillness and really bring yourself into the
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  Speaker 1: present moment. If you incorporate even some of these tips
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  Speaker 1: or all of them into your daily routine, it can
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  Speaker 1: really help you bring stillness into your life and find
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  Speaker 1: a sense of balance amongst the busyness and the chaos
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  Speaker 1: of life. So remember stillness. It's not about doing nothing,
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  Speaker 1: about creating a bit of space for what really matters,
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  Speaker 1: and I think that's what many of us need. So
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  Speaker 1: thank you for joining me today. If you have any
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  Speaker 1: questions or experiences you'd like to share, please go to
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: my website at Carlitaylorcoaching dot com dot au and fill
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: out the form. Even if you've got some ideas on
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: what you would like me to talk about. I would
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  Speaker 1: love to hear from you, So until next Monday, take
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  Speaker 1: a moment for stillness and stay mindful. I'll see you
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  Speaker 1: next week.