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I Financially Supported a Friend In Debt… Then They Got IVF!? · She's On The Money

0:00
Speaker 1: My name is Satasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations
0:03
Speaker 1: woman and I'm here to acknowledge country. Te Glenn Young
0:07
Speaker 1: Ganya Niana, Kaka yah Ya Binahwaka nian urka in Nimbini,
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Speaker 1: yakarum Jar, Dominyagumika Umaga, Ihowaka, Nile Waman damon Immalan Bumba
0:16
Speaker 1: bang Gadabama in and now in Waka ghana on yak
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Speaker 1: rum Jar Watanadaa. Hello, beautiful friends, we gather on the
0:24
Speaker 1: lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank, acknowledge and respect
0:27
Speaker 1: the Abiginal people's land that we're gathering on today. Take
0:30
Speaker 1: pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see.
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Speaker 1: She's on the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections,
0:40
Speaker 1: bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive.
0:44
Speaker 2: She's on the Money. She's on the Money. Hello, friends,
0:51
Speaker 2: and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast that
0:54
Speaker 2: makes personal finances fun, especially on a Friday, that grand
0:58
Speaker 2: old time of the week where we gather around the
1:01
Speaker 2: recording studio to celebrate and commiserate with you our wonderful community.
1:06
Speaker 2: I'm Victoria Devine and joining me for Friday Drinks is
1:08
Speaker 2: none other than our friend Beck Sayed and miss Jesse Garci.
1:13
Speaker 2: They've got money wins, they've got broke tips, and they've
1:15
Speaker 2: got nothing but love for you guys. On today's episode,
1:18
Speaker 2: we're covering, I would say, a pretty timely money dilemma
1:22
Speaker 2: about superannuation, and honestly, there's no better time to take
1:26
Speaker 2: a very close look at yours. We're also going to
1:28
Speaker 2: be discussing a very spusy DM that involves gently pairing
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Speaker 2: back on your financial support that you've been giving to
1:35
Speaker 2: a friend. Oh, this sounds like it might sting a
1:39
Speaker 2: little at the same time, the good, the bad, and
1:42
Speaker 2: the taxing. We do love a money dilemma, so please
1:45
Speaker 2: my friends send them our way by visiting the She's
1:48
Speaker 2: on the Money website and then tapping the little link
1:50
Speaker 2: to record a message. Right there, we play all of
1:53
Speaker 2: your voicemails out in the office and we might just
1:56
Speaker 2: answer yours on our next episode. Also, guys, you ready,
2:00
Speaker 2: this is something that we never skip. Oh my god,
2:03
Speaker 2: I'm so excited. You know, you know it's a five
2:05
Speaker 2: star review. It's five star review time where we seek
2:08
Speaker 2: out your sweet little words of support across the potosphere
2:11
Speaker 2: and gather them for safe keeping like a sweet little
2:14
Speaker 2: I don't know written trinket. If you would like to
2:17
Speaker 2: share your trinkets with us, my friends, please go rate
2:20
Speaker 2: the podcast wherever you are tuning in from Apple Podcasts,
2:24
Speaker 2: Spotify comments wherever. Guys we have a review. It is
2:28
Speaker 2: from our friend deb Y. Deb says, guys, do I
2:32
Speaker 2: have a five star review for you? I started listening
2:35
Speaker 2: to the podcast randomly a few years ago, but at
2:38
Speaker 2: the end of last year, I found myself in financial difficulty,
2:42
Speaker 2: facing uncertainty with paying my mortgage, and hitting absolute rock
2:46
Speaker 2: bottom with my mental health. That's when I started binging
2:49
Speaker 2: Cheese on the Money. I'm now investing, have a growing
2:52
Speaker 2: savings account, and feel more financially stable than I ever
2:55
Speaker 2: have before. Five stars just isn't enough for the life
2:58
Speaker 2: saving inspiration and empowerment that the team gives to the
3:02
Speaker 2: Sheese on the Money community. From the bottom of my
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Speaker 2: heart and my bank account, Thank you, Oh, that's so
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Speaker 2: cute you.
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Speaker 3: Can help, and happy that you're out of that stressful
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Speaker 3: period as well.
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Speaker 2: I know it's amazing. I don't know if it makes
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Speaker 2: me sad or proud or excited or upset. I don't know.
3:19
Speaker 2: I just it makes me sad that so many of
3:22
Speaker 2: our community find us when they're at their rock bottom.
3:25
Speaker 2: But also like how lucky are we to be? Like
3:28
Speaker 2: hopefully that like, come in, come in, We've got you.
3:31
Speaker 2: That's cool, Like we'll give you the tips and the tricks,
3:33
Speaker 2: and we don't have any judgment whatsoever, and we'll put
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Speaker 2: you in the best possible position. So thank you for
3:38
Speaker 2: thanking us from the bottom of your heart and your
3:39
Speaker 2: bank account. I thought that was really cute. Thank you,
3:42
Speaker 2: dam that's so sweet, it's soact. I love it all right.
3:46
Speaker 2: So that one was a good one, I think, really wholesome.
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Speaker 2: But you know what else is kind of wholesome. It's
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Speaker 2: our question of the week. This community member's question goes
3:54
Speaker 2: exactly like this. Oh my god, beautiful people, I have
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Speaker 2: a Friday drinks question that I have been meaning to
4:00
Speaker 2: ask and want to know the answer to so desperately.
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Speaker 2: If you could receive this is so Jessica richie, if
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Speaker 2: you could perceive a homemade goodie basket or hamper, what
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Speaker 2: would you want someone to put.
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Speaker 3: In it for you?
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Speaker 2: Oh, that's a very cute question. It is very's wholesome
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Speaker 2: and also just for those of you following along who
4:19
Speaker 2: might not know jessic Ricci as well as we do.
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Speaker 2: She's the Queen of the hamper.
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Speaker 3: Yes, I do love a good hamper.
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Speaker 2: You do love a good bite, but we're talking like
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Speaker 2: curated for you in a pretty box, Like she gifts
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Speaker 2: the best gifts, so straight under the bus, jest, what
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Speaker 2: do you want in your hamper?
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Speaker 3: I love a little homemade, handmade gift. I feel like
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Speaker 3: a sweet treat is always winning with me because I'm
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Speaker 3: a big sweet tooth. Something preferably chocolatey based for.
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Speaker 2: A Roches, do love one? I would put a whole
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Speaker 2: boxer for a Roches?
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Speaker 3: I do, yes, my favorite because I can't buy them
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Speaker 3: for myself.
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Speaker 2: Is we all know not in this economy. I'm so sorry,
4:57
Speaker 2: absolutely not, absolutely not.
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Speaker 3: I should say it's like a home mate, so like
5:00
Speaker 3: they're making the gifts to go in the basket. So
5:03
Speaker 3: I would love you know what I would love? Yeah,
5:06
Speaker 3: something knitted, but I also know that like knitting a
5:10
Speaker 3: garment is very very time consuming, but like there's I
5:13
Speaker 3: have lots of knits pinned on my Pinterest that are
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Speaker 3: like obviously people have made themselves and they look so
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Speaker 3: beautiful and such good quality, but also like I know
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Speaker 3: that that would take somebody a long time. So maybe
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Speaker 3: a scarf if not a jumper or something like that
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Speaker 3: would be really cool to get, okay, or oh you
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Speaker 3: know what, our friend Michelle, she made us a few
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Speaker 3: years ago, these little shower steamer things that you like,
5:35
Speaker 3: put them in your shower and they make it smell
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Speaker 3: really good. Oh yeah, they were really nice.
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Speaker 2: There are lots of.
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Speaker 3: Fun little things you can make to put in a hamper,
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Speaker 3: anything made with love.
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Speaker 2: I love.
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Speaker 4: I didn't take the homemade aspect and so that will
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Speaker 4: make me, I guess, like change my decision, but.
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Speaker 2: Right, don't What do you want in your hamper?
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Speaker 4: But what I really want is just like a lot,
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Speaker 4: maybe two or three packets of chocolate Scotch fingers.
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Speaker 2: Ideally you do a scott I do love a scotchyter
6:02
Speaker 2: all together. Now, I would like some tea bags to
6:07
Speaker 2: go with that. I kind of want like in my hamper.
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Speaker 4: I wanted to be like, I want the person to
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Speaker 4: curate my night for me, so I want them to
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Speaker 4: like tell me what I'm doing via hamper, And so
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Speaker 4: it's gonna be tea bags gonna be I know I
6:18
Speaker 4: was gonna be a cut in a bond Soy and
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Speaker 4: then it's gonna be so I'm like, okay, I know
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Speaker 4: that they want me to have.
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Speaker 2: Tea and they want me to eat Scotch fingers. He
6:25
Speaker 2: still on the bon Soy train. I am not the happy,
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Speaker 2: happy Soy boy so sweet that you remember that. Yeah,
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Speaker 2: I thought you to rich that I do.
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Speaker 3: But there's something about bon Soy, but no, I actually.
6:36
Speaker 2: Like oat milk and my tea.
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Speaker 4: To take that back, the alternative milkoat oat.
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Speaker 2: Milk will be in my hamper, Okay, I can because
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Speaker 2: I ordered that online even like it's my oat milk
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Speaker 2: choice and I have to have it in my coffees
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Speaker 2: at home. Oh my god, totally you can't buy it
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Speaker 2: at the supermarket. Yeah, what the hell? I can be
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Speaker 2: your oat milk dealer. Thank you, yours coming from you?
6:55
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. It would have Jeska Ricki's sneaker
6:58
Speaker 2: doodle what I we can both have because I'll update,
7:06
Speaker 2: I'll update. I don't want those anyway. And then there's
7:10
Speaker 2: gonna be some sort of I like a shower steamer.
7:12
Speaker 4: I think there's also gonna be like a DVD in
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Speaker 4: there that's like, you don't have to think about what
7:16
Speaker 4: movie you're gonna watch.
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Speaker 2: There's here's a DVD.
7:18
Speaker 3: You just pop it on and school.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, well I have no idea and no way to
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Speaker 4: play it, but I'll know that that's what they intended.
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Speaker 2: I love it all right. Well, I don't want Jessica
7:31
Speaker 2: cookies because I want her pecan toffee once. Yeah, okay,
7:35
Speaker 2: so I would argue even better? They were so no
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Speaker 2: you did you? Did you remember the ones? They were
7:43
Speaker 2: like kind of friends giving. I don't know if you
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Speaker 2: had them. Didn't you bring them into the studio because
7:48
Speaker 2: we made you make them again? Maybe? Anyway, they are
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Speaker 2: like this cinnamony like caramely biscuit and that like is
7:56
Speaker 2: pressed like into like a dip, right, and they like
8:01
Speaker 2: felt like they had the coating, correct me if I'm wrong,
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Speaker 2: jess the coating of like a cinnamon donut on the
8:07
Speaker 2: outside of the cookie. Don't remember these? And then they
8:10
Speaker 2: were like the caramelized peacans sitting in the top. Yes,
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Speaker 2: oh filthy. I loved it. So I want basically a
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Speaker 2: whole hamper of those. I wouldn't mind a new wheat pack.
8:22
Speaker 2: Oh that's a good one, yea. I wouldn't find a
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Speaker 2: new wheat pack. We're going into winter, and I just
8:26
Speaker 2: pulled mine out and I was like, well, I've definitely
8:28
Speaker 2: been using this and it's obvious for the last fifteen years.
8:32
Speaker 2: And the knitted thing sounds really cute, right, So like
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Speaker 2: one of my friends CC, her mom has been knitting
8:39
Speaker 2: her kids jumpers cute, and prior to having kids, I
8:43
Speaker 2: was like, cool, what a nana like activity. And now
8:46
Speaker 2: I'm like, that is so wholesome. I wish my mom
8:49
Speaker 2: doesn't knit like Judy step off, like, why are you knitting?
8:55
Speaker 2: Don't knit, Judy, That's fine, but it's so cute. But yes,
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Speaker 2: I lean into the like knitted thing and like maybe
9:01
Speaker 2: like a knitted pair of like bed socks or something
9:04
Speaker 2: really wholesome, right, and like one of those fluffy materials. Yeah,
9:08
Speaker 2: so that's what I want in my homemade hamper. I
9:12
Speaker 2: actually thought that Beck was going to say, I want
9:14
Speaker 2: a whole hamper a visa gift cards is what I
9:18
Speaker 2: thought you And I was like, that would be so smart,
9:22
Speaker 2: genius for cookies and songs. Anyway, I feel like I
9:29
Speaker 2: feel like we could go on and on forever about
9:31
Speaker 2: what we want, but I do love a hamper and
9:33
Speaker 2: I loved that question even more. That was really sweet.
9:36
Speaker 2: Now for something that you'll hopefully love even more than that,
9:40
Speaker 2: Money wins Where Miss Jessic Gricci. She's scoured the comments section,
9:44
Speaker 2: our DMS and general mail to find out what you
9:47
Speaker 2: guys have been celebrating this week. Miss Jessic Gricci. What
9:50
Speaker 2: have you got?
9:50
Speaker 1: Oh?
9:51
Speaker 2: Right?
9:51
Speaker 3: A start off this week with one from it?
9:53
Speaker 2: Hold On, hold on? Don't you have a money win
9:56
Speaker 2: this week? Oh? I do have a money win? Can
9:58
Speaker 2: we start at the top the for sure? I'm so sorry.
10:02
Speaker 2: I was like, hold on, I know that community is important,
10:04
Speaker 2: but our team group chat has been popping off over this.
10:09
Speaker 3: Tell me this is your sign to enter those dumb
10:11
Speaker 3: little online competitions that you don't think anyone wins. Because
10:14
Speaker 3: I entered one this week and I won.
10:16
Speaker 2: What did you win?
10:17
Speaker 3: I wanted Doctor Dennis gross alid Mass, which is one
10:21
Speaker 3: hundred dollars light mask and the crazy.
10:23
Speaker 2: The one that I spent an exorbitant amount of money on,
10:26
Speaker 2: and I great it. I love it, got it for free.
10:30
Speaker 3: I'm so excited. It was like a shopping center. It
10:32
Speaker 3: was high point anyone on the West Side, and it
10:34
Speaker 3: wasn't even in person. It was one that like popped
10:36
Speaker 3: up on Facebook. They were obviously doing like data collection,
10:38
Speaker 3: you know, popping your email answer in twenty five words
10:40
Speaker 3: or less, like why you come to the shopping center?
10:43
Speaker 3: And I was like, obviously it's Sizara and the big
10:45
Speaker 3: Mecca and it's.
10:48
Speaker 2: Been good at that. You would have scripted something really nice. Yeah,
10:52
Speaker 2: didn't take very long.
10:53
Speaker 3: Didn't think twice about it, to be honest. And then
10:56
Speaker 3: last night literally I got an email and I sent
10:58
Speaker 3: it in the group slack because I was like, guys,
11:00
Speaker 3: this is amazing.
11:03
Speaker 2: So you like, now you have an LED mask and
11:06
Speaker 2: I feel like you've been talking about one for ages
11:08
Speaker 2: but you were like they're so expensive, absolutely not, maybe
11:11
Speaker 2: they won't work. The universe has provided you arguably the
11:15
Speaker 2: best one on market. I am so grateful.
11:17
Speaker 3: I'm so excited, and yeah, so this is your sign.
11:20
Speaker 3: Everybody just like, what's the worst that could happen?
11:22
Speaker 2: Take plun But I also really like what this means
11:25
Speaker 2: for this. She's on the Money team aesthetic not because
11:28
Speaker 2: we're all going to get hotter because we're using a
11:30
Speaker 2: LED mask, but Brooke and I like to turn up
11:33
Speaker 2: to our team meetings with our masks on. It's all
11:37
Speaker 2: going to look like we're out of Star Wars. Yeah,
11:39
Speaker 2: hell yeah, yeah, I can't wait.
11:41
Speaker 3: So it's so stay tuned. Photos coming Soon's I'm sure
11:45
Speaker 3: all right. This week, I'll start with one from Tiffany
11:46
Speaker 3: who said, I went to the laundrette on Friday as
11:49
Speaker 3: it was my thirtieth visit. I got two loads for free.
11:52
Speaker 3: Oh the money I saved when straightened my savings account,
11:54
Speaker 3: and I feel like every dollar really counts these days.
11:57
Speaker 3: So true, absolutely, so true. Then am I said money Win.
12:01
Speaker 3: Don't forget you can apply for the twenty percent rebate
12:03
Speaker 3: on your Redgo if you're in Vixoy.
12:06
Speaker 2: I forgot about that completely.
12:07
Speaker 3: I did it yesterday.
12:08
Speaker 2: Do not do it for everybody.
12:10
Speaker 3: It's for literally everybody. If you've paid your redo, even
12:12
Speaker 3: if you only paid part I believe they'll pro rata it.
12:15
Speaker 3: They work it all out for you, which is awesome.
12:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, done again.
12:19
Speaker 3: So download the services up so it literally is like
12:21
Speaker 3: two clicks. It's so easy. And then they email me
12:24
Speaker 3: back within twenty four hours and said, yep, confirmed you
12:26
Speaker 3: getting two hundred and twenty dollars back.
12:28
Speaker 2: Isn't that crazy that it's just not automatic? Like it's
12:31
Speaker 2: smart from them to not make it automatic because it
12:33
Speaker 2: means they're going to save money because so many people
12:35
Speaker 2: are going to either miss this or just like not
12:37
Speaker 2: do their life admins. So like from a budget perspective,
12:42
Speaker 2: it doesn't make sense for them to automate it. Yeah,
12:45
Speaker 2: but like yueens, go and do your life admin and
12:49
Speaker 2: tell a body money.
12:50
Speaker 3: I messaged my friend group chat immediately said, guys, don't
12:52
Speaker 3: forget today's the day, so.
12:54
Speaker 2: Tell the people you know.
12:55
Speaker 3: Anyone who's got a car.
12:56
Speaker 2: You're also had a great witch, got two hundred and
12:58
Speaker 2: twenty bucks back, got it defaced us. I'm in there,
13:02
Speaker 2: You're sorry.
13:05
Speaker 3: Next, I've got a money in from Caitlin who said
13:07
Speaker 3: she went to cancel her paramount. Plus they've given her
13:09
Speaker 3: two months at ninety nine cents social cuep but for
13:13
Speaker 3: two more months, watch a few more things, then probably
13:15
Speaker 3: get rid of it after that.
13:16
Speaker 2: That is so funny because I've been doing a little
13:18
Speaker 2: bit of a sponsorship audit recently, and I threatened my
13:23
Speaker 2: New York Times subscription because like, if you're in my team,
13:27
Speaker 2: you know I love a word. I love a saduko.
13:30
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I do it every day, like every day
13:33
Speaker 2: over coffee. My husband and I this is so lame.
13:36
Speaker 2: We do connections, we do wordle, we do the strands together,
13:40
Speaker 2: and then I do my Saduco quietly and if our
13:43
Speaker 2: baby christ that's on him. I'm busy doing my suduco.
13:46
Speaker 2: But I threatened my subscription by being like cancel and
13:49
Speaker 2: it gave me fifty percent off and I was like
13:51
Speaker 2: thank you. So then I went through and I've been
13:54
Speaker 2: like threatening all of my other subscriptions and like going
13:57
Speaker 2: through to like the cancel before you hear like confirm,
14:01
Speaker 2: just to see if they give me a discount offering.
14:03
Speaker 2: A few of them did amazing. So this week, yes,
14:05
Speaker 2: we're gonna threaten our subscriptions. Yeah, get on the cancel store.
14:09
Speaker 2: Push it towards the edge. See what happens. I mean,
14:11
Speaker 2: you can back off if you want the subscription still,
14:13
Speaker 2: but you didn't get a discount, you'd be like fine,
14:16
Speaker 2: I'm gonna keep you by least you tried literally no harm.
14:19
Speaker 3: Next, I've got money win from Jamie who said money
14:21
Speaker 3: and chocolate win. Williz didn't have the side of Cabri
14:24
Speaker 3: Favorites that she had ordered, so they gave her three
14:27
Speaker 3: small boxes to make up for the missing big one.
14:29
Speaker 3: She ended up with more chocolate and it cost her
14:32
Speaker 3: the same amount. That's a good money, great, great money win.
14:34
Speaker 3: We love a chocolate money.
14:35
Speaker 2: We So you just got two presents for like other people.
14:38
Speaker 3: I reckon genuinely. And then last of this week, I've
14:41
Speaker 3: got one from Jackie who said it's my birthday today,
14:43
Speaker 3: so I've been getting my freebies all day. Money win Jackie.
14:47
Speaker 3: And this is my reminder because all three of our
14:50
Speaker 3: birthdays are coming up. Last year, we all said we're
14:53
Speaker 3: gonna get all our subscriptions. I was like, I'm going
14:54
Speaker 3: to film a video. I forgot you need to be
14:56
Speaker 3: signed up for things two weeks ahead. So this year, okay,
15:00
Speaker 3: I've waited a whole yeah to film this video of
15:02
Speaker 3: like all the things that you can get for your birthday.
15:04
Speaker 3: Love this And he's my remind for both of you
15:06
Speaker 3: to like sign up for everything because your birthdays so
15:08
Speaker 3: we're also close together.
15:10
Speaker 2: And also if you're in our Facebook group, go to
15:13
Speaker 2: the search bar and type in birthday freebies because there
15:15
Speaker 2: is a whole thread that people have been contributing to
15:19
Speaker 2: of places that you can get free stuff. Yeah, free boost, juice,
15:22
Speaker 2: free movie, chickets free like everything, but for your birthday,
15:25
Speaker 2: So go and sign them up. And also if you
15:28
Speaker 2: want to sign up your friends, you could definitely do
15:31
Speaker 2: that and then send them a little cute birthday message
15:33
Speaker 2: and be like, hey, by the way, I signed you
15:35
Speaker 2: up for your birthday stuff, so you'll have a free
15:38
Speaker 2: ABC and d imagine that if you didn't have any
15:40
Speaker 2: cash to give them a gift.
15:41
Speaker 3: That's really fae.
15:42
Speaker 2: That's a great idea, thinks I came up with it myself.
15:46
Speaker 2: Miss Beck, have you got some broke tips? I sure do.
15:50
Speaker 4: That one comes from Nora, who says, cancel all your
15:53
Speaker 4: subscriptions and borrow DVDs from the library and call it
15:56
Speaker 4: movie nights. I think it's a really cut idea of you, like,
15:59
Speaker 4: grab some really cheapn go to the library. I didn't
16:01
Speaker 4: even know you could get DVDs from a library, but like,
16:03
Speaker 4: pretend it's like a Blockbuster. This is more for like,
16:06
Speaker 4: if you have children, you can trick them into thinking
16:08
Speaker 4: into Blockbuster. But it also works if you're an adult.
16:11
Speaker 4: And it isn't that funny that DVDs a hot theme
16:13
Speaker 4: in this episode, So I think it's a great idea.
16:16
Speaker 4: This next one comes from Mona, who says vacuum sealing foods,
16:19
Speaker 4: particularly freezer foods, make them last so much longer. The
16:23
Speaker 4: next one is for myself, and I tried, well, I
16:25
Speaker 4: didn't do this intentionally, but I didn't take a cart
16:28
Speaker 4: or a trolley into the shops, and I just realized
16:30
Speaker 4: you really end up buying what you need and nothing more.
16:33
Speaker 4: So I'm my breakdip for this week is to not
16:35
Speaker 4: take any sort of like anything that will help you
16:38
Speaker 4: carry things around, because you end up putting so much
16:40
Speaker 4: more on your basket or your trolley. If you go
16:42
Speaker 4: in knowing like, oh, I need to get three things
16:44
Speaker 4: and that's literally physically all you can carry, you end
16:46
Speaker 4: up really not overspending.
16:49
Speaker 3: If you can't carry, you can't buy. You can't carry
16:52
Speaker 3: people do It's like you've got sixty seconds. You can
16:54
Speaker 3: as many books as you can pick up in the bookstore.
16:56
Speaker 3: You can like buy, Yeah, but with groceries exactly exactly.
16:59
Speaker 4: You don't polls by, so I think that, Yeah, just
17:01
Speaker 4: challenge yourself to try not to take anything in with you.
17:04
Speaker 2: I ask you and Fate that the other day. I
17:06
Speaker 2: was forced to do that because when you become a mom,
17:10
Speaker 2: you got to buy annoying things you got to buy
17:12
Speaker 2: or I do formula and nappies.
17:15
Speaker 3: It's cylindrical, it's hard to get it and bulky.
17:18
Speaker 2: Yeah, the box of nappy I'm not gonna buy, like
17:20
Speaker 2: the little cute pack of nappies, Like that's a waste
17:22
Speaker 2: of money. We buy bulk boxes. And I got to
17:25
Speaker 2: the supermarket and it wasn't my regular supermarket which has
17:29
Speaker 2: free trolleys. It was the supermarket that needed the coin
17:32
Speaker 2: for the trolleys. I don't even have a coin. Yeah,
17:35
Speaker 2: And so I looked like a complete potato and I
17:39
Speaker 2: basically got rid of everything else that I was planning
17:42
Speaker 2: on buying. I was like, right, I can only walk
17:44
Speaker 2: out of here with formula, nappies and a couple of tomatoes.
17:47
Speaker 2: I'm calling it. Yeah, saved so much, I know, do
17:50
Speaker 2: I not have things I need? Yeah?
17:52
Speaker 3: But also saved so much absolutely on the money branded
17:58
Speaker 3: trolley token.
17:58
Speaker 2: May I say, do you know what I've been talking
18:01
Speaker 2: about that and we've been brainstorming it. Imagine a she's
18:04
Speaker 2: on the money trolley token on your keys. That would
18:07
Speaker 2: be very sure because it was like a two dollar shape.
18:10
Speaker 2: Looks cute, But I save you. Also, you wouldn't want
18:14
Speaker 2: to leave that accidentally in the trolley. No, I reckon
18:17
Speaker 2: it's worth more than two dollars. Okay, shit true anyway
18:22
Speaker 2: pay for itself though? Yeah, will you say that? I reckon?
18:24
Speaker 2: That's a good example of you know, it's not about
18:26
Speaker 2: the destination, but it's about the broke tips that you
18:28
Speaker 2: collect along the way. We're just about to take a
18:31
Speaker 2: quick break, but when we are back, we are diving
18:34
Speaker 2: headfirst into this week's money dilemma.
18:39
Speaker 3: Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's
18:42
Speaker 3: money dilemma.
18:45
Speaker 2: Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just
18:47
Speaker 2: can't solve? The She's on the Money team is here
18:50
Speaker 2: to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big
18:53
Speaker 2: and small, to answer your most burning money, career and
18:56
Speaker 2: life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website
18:59
Speaker 2: and leave us short voice recording and you might just
19:01
Speaker 2: find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen
19:04
Speaker 2: to this week's money dilemma.
19:08
Speaker 5: High Season the Money. I have a question about my
19:10
Speaker 5: super Thanks to your pod, I've been looking into how
19:13
Speaker 5: well my super fund is performing. While it passes all
19:16
Speaker 5: of the appro tests, I think I can find a
19:18
Speaker 5: better performing fund with lower fees and would like to
19:21
Speaker 5: move my entire balance for better growth. I don't have
19:24
Speaker 5: any pre existing medical conditions, and so insurance isn't an issue.
19:28
Speaker 5: I don't want to try and time the market, but
19:30
Speaker 5: I'm wondering if I should hold off moving my superbalance
19:32
Speaker 5: until the market recovers from the current volatility, as my
19:36
Speaker 5: super's taken a bit of a dip this year. I
19:38
Speaker 5: have about seventy five thousand in my account and I'm
19:41
Speaker 5: thirty three, so have plenty of time to realize better returns.
19:44
Speaker 5: Should I transfer my balance now or wait a little
19:47
Speaker 5: bit longer?
19:48
Speaker 1: Oh?
19:48
Speaker 2: What was you guys? Do?
19:50
Speaker 4: I guess, like, first of all, make sure there's no
19:53
Speaker 4: exit fees. I think I would just like check like
19:56
Speaker 4: for like, like if the next super fund had the
19:59
Speaker 4: exact same portfolio in terms of what that super would
20:03
Speaker 4: be invested in, then I guess it would be the
20:06
Speaker 4: same money right now, like worth the same the shares
20:10
Speaker 4: or the investment, and so transferring it over now would
20:13
Speaker 4: kind of be like whatever. It really depends on, like
20:16
Speaker 4: where the money is going and how it's being invested,
20:18
Speaker 4: and if it's pretty much exactly the same and they're
20:21
Speaker 4: both valued at the same amount if that makes sense,
20:23
Speaker 4: which I know sounds it's hard to explain because it's
20:25
Speaker 4: like they're not really shares. It's like super if you're
20:28
Speaker 4: investing in the same thing valued at the same amount. Roughly,
20:31
Speaker 4: I'm like sure, especially if it's like that is spot on.
20:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, like that's what a financial advisor would say. Yeah,
20:37
Speaker 2: oh my god. Ah, I was just like watching you
20:40
Speaker 2: being like, oh my god, I got a finger on
20:43
Speaker 2: the pulse. So seek that's crazy. Yeah, because you're buying
20:47
Speaker 2: and selling in the same market and.
20:49
Speaker 4: Same market, and then if the fees are less in
20:51
Speaker 4: this new fund, then you're also maybe saving money.
20:55
Speaker 3: Yeah, how likely is it that true? Different super funds
20:59
Speaker 3: would have very comp makeups, because it sounds like she's
21:02
Speaker 3: my understanding what she said is she wants to move
21:04
Speaker 3: to a more favorable like I'm imagining maybe she wants
21:08
Speaker 3: to move from like a lower risk to a higher
21:09
Speaker 3: risk because she feels like she's got time, in which
21:12
Speaker 3: case would there be a lot of similar like crossover
21:16
Speaker 3: the crop And it really depends.
21:18
Speaker 2: So if you're going from like one industry fund to
21:21
Speaker 2: another industry fund, it's very likely that they hold very
21:24
Speaker 2: similar things. You can kind of think of it like ETFs,
21:28
Speaker 2: where you know, you've got a beta shares and then
21:30
Speaker 2: you've got a vanguard and they might have top two hundreds,
21:32
Speaker 2: and they both invest in that slightly differently, you know,
21:35
Speaker 2: different fees, different triggers. That's all good, but they're kind
21:39
Speaker 2: of comparable products. Whereas if she's changing because she's like
21:44
Speaker 2: the I want to take it to a completely different
21:46
Speaker 2: platform where you know, they only have ethical investments, or
21:49
Speaker 2: they only have you know, a different range, or I'm
21:52
Speaker 2: going from as you said before, like a balanced portfolio
21:54
Speaker 2: to a high growth. That's where you're going to have
21:57
Speaker 2: to think about this a little bit deeper, just changing
22:00
Speaker 2: because you're like, oh, I would prefer to go to
22:02
Speaker 2: Australian super and I'm with you know, host plus or
22:05
Speaker 2: I'm with rest or whatever. I would say that kind
22:08
Speaker 2: of like for like, if you're going to a similar portfolio,
22:11
Speaker 2: they'll be offended that I've said that, by the way,
22:13
Speaker 2: because you know, they're definitely different. They're all so different.
22:17
Speaker 2: But in the grand scheme of things, yes, they all
22:19
Speaker 2: have different investment methodologies, but at the ground, they're often
22:25
Speaker 2: all investing in blue chip stocks and that's why it's
22:27
Speaker 2: so important to look at your investments inside your super
22:31
Speaker 2: to make sure that you're comfortable with it. But usually
22:34
Speaker 2: know you don't need to wait for the market to
22:37
Speaker 2: recover to switch super funds. And it's exactly what Beck said,
22:42
Speaker 2: you're trading in exactly the same market. It's kind of
22:45
Speaker 2: like when people are like, oh, my goodness, like, is
22:48
Speaker 2: now a good time to buy or sell? And if
22:51
Speaker 2: you're selling a house and then buying a house in
22:54
Speaker 2: the same market, it's kind of left pocket, right pocket,
22:56
Speaker 2: because if it's a good market and your house is
22:59
Speaker 2: valued at all, you'll be selling for a lot more,
23:02
Speaker 2: and then you're going to be buying in a market
23:04
Speaker 2: where property is value at a hire. But that's okay
23:06
Speaker 2: because you've got a bit more for your last property
23:08
Speaker 2: and you put it into the next property. Because we
23:11
Speaker 2: don't know when the market's get to tank. No one
23:13
Speaker 2: comes knocking on your door and says, hey, JS, just
23:15
Speaker 2: so now now's a perfect time to buy. Market's about
23:18
Speaker 2: to go up. Never happens in a million years. And
23:21
Speaker 2: if someone can do that, let me know, because I'll
23:23
Speaker 2: start investing a lot more aggressively. Now. It does change.
23:26
Speaker 2: If you're going to like a different portfolio construction. But
23:30
Speaker 2: the one thing that I would be doing superannuation is
23:33
Speaker 2: for the long term, so like I would be zooming
23:35
Speaker 2: out and going all right, well, there's never going to
23:37
Speaker 2: be a perfect time to change. And if the market
23:40
Speaker 2: is a bit off right now, yes, you're selling your
23:42
Speaker 2: assets for less, but when you purchase again, you're probably
23:45
Speaker 2: going to get more shares that are going to increase
23:48
Speaker 2: in value. Again, you're trading in exactly the same market.
23:51
Speaker 2: For example, if you're going to sell in super FUNDA,
23:56
Speaker 2: and let's just make it really simple, in super fund
23:58
Speaker 2: A you have ten BHP, you do a transfer to
24:02
Speaker 2: your new asset and they also are going to hold
24:04
Speaker 2: ten BHP shares. You're probably going to have the cash
24:07
Speaker 2: to transfer over and hold the same exact assets again,
24:10
Speaker 2: which is fine. But the big questions here are is
24:14
Speaker 2: the new fund cheaper, does it have good long term performance,
24:18
Speaker 2: does it align with your values? Does it offer the
24:22
Speaker 2: investment options that you actually want? Are there any insurance
24:26
Speaker 2: policies inside your currency branuation that you would forego or
24:30
Speaker 2: lose by switching to me. That's a really really big question,
24:35
Speaker 2: and the insurance one is one that catches a lot
24:37
Speaker 2: of people out because they don't realize that they have
24:41
Speaker 2: a default policy for life income or TPD and they
24:45
Speaker 2: kind of go, oh, it will be in the next one.
24:47
Speaker 2: Everyone has it. But that's not necessarily the case anymore.
24:50
Speaker 2: You don't just get given an insurance policy anymore. So
24:53
Speaker 2: please please please check it. And I mean at the
24:55
Speaker 2: age of thirty three. I'm not allowed to give financial advice,
24:59
Speaker 2: not because we're right, just in general, I'm not allowed
25:01
Speaker 2: to give anything further than general financial advice. But thirty three,
25:05
Speaker 2: with the balance of you said seventy five thousand dollars,
25:08
Speaker 2: I'd really be focusing on finding a fund that is
25:12
Speaker 2: right for you for the next thirty years than trying
25:15
Speaker 2: to time the market over the next few years. Great point,
25:18
Speaker 2: like get shit done, Like just get it done, get
25:21
Speaker 2: it in, make it a priority. Make sure you're making
25:23
Speaker 2: regular contributions, make sure your employer has been paying your
25:26
Speaker 2: super make sure that you know everything is set up
25:28
Speaker 2: the way that you want, because that's what's going to
25:30
Speaker 2: drive long term performance. Not you know, I switched at
25:33
Speaker 2: the right time and now I'm a millionaire. That's not
25:35
Speaker 2: going to happen. Otherwise I'd be waiting for a switch
25:38
Speaker 2: as well. Yeah, yeah, Will exactly speaks juicy DM. Oh
25:42
Speaker 2: my goodness, I'm so ready this, I guess DM since
25:47
Speaker 2: putting together like well, we're going to talk on this
25:49
Speaker 2: episode has been living rent free in my mind since
25:52
Speaker 2: I opened it. And look, even the person writing it
25:55
Speaker 2: said that it would be spicy, So I mean that
25:57
Speaker 2: piqued my interest to be given. So you're ready ready? Hi,
26:00
Speaker 2: she's on the money. I have a spicy question, girl,
26:02
Speaker 2: you got me hook line and sinker. I have a
26:04
Speaker 2: friend with long term mental health struggles who is also
26:07
Speaker 2: now physically disabled and on the NDIS. I've financially supported
26:12
Speaker 2: them in the past several times and they always say
26:15
Speaker 2: they will pay me back, but they never have. But
26:18
Speaker 2: last year they chose to go through IVF in order
26:21
Speaker 2: to have a child, and now I get a request
26:24
Speaker 2: for financial aid every other month. I don't actually know
26:28
Speaker 2: them very well. We've hung out a handful of times. However,
26:32
Speaker 2: I'm also very aware that I'm privileged to be on
26:34
Speaker 2: top of my own mental health and I'm very financially secure.
26:38
Speaker 2: How do I gently disentangle myself without feeling guilty for
26:41
Speaker 2: technically being able to help without going broke. I get
26:45
Speaker 2: a pit in my stomach every time I see a
26:47
Speaker 2: message from them, And to be honest, I can't stop
26:50
Speaker 2: myself from judging them for choosing to have a child
26:52
Speaker 2: knowing that they couldn't afford to and they weren't mentally
26:55
Speaker 2: recovered either, what do I do? God, this is so complicated?
27:01
Speaker 2: Or so she wasn't wrong, that was spicy.
27:04
Speaker 4: Yeah, I am a little bit confused by because isn't
27:08
Speaker 4: I feel really really.
27:09
Speaker 2: Expensive not to say like yeah, yeah.
27:11
Speaker 3: So I'm like I wonder where that.
27:12
Speaker 2: I mean, it's like this right, like so many times
27:15
Speaker 2: we see people making decisions, and maybe she spent all
27:18
Speaker 2: of the money that she had on IVF. Like people
27:22
Speaker 2: make and I'm not saying confusing money decisions because I'm
27:25
Speaker 2: saying they're bad. But people are going to spend their
27:27
Speaker 2: money in line with their values. And they might not
27:29
Speaker 2: be paying rent, but they might be paying for something else,
27:31
Speaker 2: you know what. It's like, It's just it can be
27:33
Speaker 2: really confusing, and that's where it's so important to not
27:36
Speaker 2: judge people for the decisions they're making, because you could
27:38
Speaker 2: have looked at that and been like, well, you're financially secure,
27:41
Speaker 2: you did if that might mean that who knows, she
27:44
Speaker 2: went and got a person alone and then spent it
27:45
Speaker 2: all in IVF and she's even further up the deck crate.
27:48
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's so treading to actually, and thank you for
27:51
Speaker 4: picking up on that. I think that also the confusion
27:53
Speaker 4: comes from it is a friend, but you don't know
27:56
Speaker 4: them that well even hung out that much. And it
27:58
Speaker 4: kind of like there have been time my life where
28:00
Speaker 4: you know, I've certainly I haven't been very rich at all,
28:04
Speaker 4: and I have not had that much money, but I've
28:06
Speaker 4: helped friends, friends that I know, and I feel a
28:09
Speaker 4: warmth in my belly and I feel love in my
28:11
Speaker 4: heart for them. And then even if I don't know
28:14
Speaker 4: them that well, but I still know their energy and
28:16
Speaker 4: I still know that they're like a trustworthy person. But
28:18
Speaker 4: I remember I worked at this place and I barely
28:21
Speaker 4: knew this woman and she asked me for money very soon,
28:23
Speaker 4: and oh really, She's like, oh can I just borrow
28:25
Speaker 4: like one hundred bucks until payday? And I was like,
28:28
Speaker 4: the weird thing And the thing I think might be
28:30
Speaker 4: symptomatic of a bigger problem is that you have what
28:33
Speaker 4: it looks like to be like many friends, many family members.
28:36
Speaker 4: Why are you asking me out of everyone in the world,
28:38
Speaker 4: And so I'm like, maybe there's something dodgy going on,
28:40
Speaker 4: but who knows. It's hard to say, Maybe it's even
28:42
Speaker 4: impossible to say. But the fact that you haven't hung
28:44
Speaker 4: out that much, I'm like, they could have not that
28:46
Speaker 4: many people in their life, so maybe they feel like
28:48
Speaker 4: they're close to you. So maybe ignore that. But that's
28:51
Speaker 4: something to consider if you think it feels off. But
28:54
Speaker 4: if you don't think it feels off, then it is
28:57
Speaker 4: a really tricky one. You don't have to be living
28:59
Speaker 4: this life where like you feel sickly anxious every time
29:01
Speaker 4: the message. I know that feeling. It's the worst feeling.
29:04
Speaker 4: I think, just like generally telling them you can even
29:07
Speaker 4: like lie a little bit if you want to, just
29:09
Speaker 4: be like I think, financially right now the best position.
29:12
Speaker 2: I'm really sorry.
29:13
Speaker 4: They might just be able to figure it out on
29:14
Speaker 4: their own if they don't have you to fall back
29:16
Speaker 4: on anymore. So I think, try not feel gooidty because
29:19
Speaker 4: you've helped them so much. But yeah, just the anxiety
29:22
Speaker 4: you feel when they message, you don't need to be
29:24
Speaker 4: living like that.
29:25
Speaker 2: You've done all you can do.
29:26
Speaker 4: You're more than welcome to be like I can't help anymore.
29:31
Speaker 3: It's really hard. Like I fear, I don't even want
29:33
Speaker 3: to touch the having the child while struggling financially because
29:37
Speaker 3: I think that is such a complex, sure topic and
29:42
Speaker 3: one we don't have the time to delve into one
29:43
Speaker 3: that I don't think I have the emotional capacity and
29:45
Speaker 3: shelve into if I want to today. But what I
29:48
Speaker 3: want to look at is what can you do to
29:50
Speaker 3: get yourself out of this situation? Because what's putting you
29:52
Speaker 3: here is kindness, and I think that that is a
29:54
Speaker 3: really fantastic thing. I think the instinct to help others
29:57
Speaker 3: is really important and it's really one fool that you
30:00
Speaker 3: have that, But it also is really challenging when it
30:03
Speaker 3: then puts pressure back on you when you're you know,
30:06
Speaker 3: you're feeling more and more entangled in this person's life.
30:09
Speaker 3: You're feeling like they're not making good financial decisions, and
30:12
Speaker 3: you maybe feel like by supporting them financially, you're enabling
30:15
Speaker 3: those poor choices, which is totally understandable. I would lean
30:20
Speaker 3: into pointing them towards resources. I'm with you. I think
30:24
Speaker 3: you know, we say no is a full sentence, But
30:26
Speaker 3: also I think it's very reasonable to say to them
30:28
Speaker 3: next time somebody keeps you up with this, Hey, can
30:30
Speaker 3: I get a hundred bucks to get me through the payday?
30:32
Speaker 3: Just saying I'm so sorry cost of living at the moment,
30:35
Speaker 3: I don't have the money to give you. And that
30:38
Speaker 3: in itself is enough of a conversation, absolutely, and that
30:41
Speaker 3: kind of gets you out of the position, hopefully and
30:44
Speaker 3: breaks the circle by saying, hey, like with everything that
30:47
Speaker 3: I'm doing, I just don't have the capacity to help you.
30:51
Speaker 3: You can then supplement that, or I would supplement that
30:53
Speaker 3: with here are some resources that you could look at,
30:56
Speaker 3: you know, for ndis, do you have a case worker
30:58
Speaker 3: or somebody you can talk to. Can she maybe reach
31:00
Speaker 3: out to our friends the National Debt Helpline and they
31:02
Speaker 3: can help, you know, get her budget together, or look
31:05
Speaker 3: at other resources maybe to provide her. I think all
31:08
Speaker 3: you can do is give somebody the tools to succeed.
31:12
Speaker 3: But it isn't your responsibility. And I know that that's
31:14
Speaker 3: really hard. When you're somebody who feels the need to
31:18
Speaker 3: help others and feel the need to fix things, you go, well,
31:21
Speaker 3: if it's within my means, why wouldn't I, Like, why
31:23
Speaker 3: shouldn't I? But also, you can't put yourself on the
31:27
Speaker 3: back foot if the money's not coming back to you.
31:30
Speaker 3: Do also have a right to look after yourself as well.
31:34
Speaker 2: And like as somebody who likes to do those things
31:36
Speaker 2: as well, like I love looking after other people if
31:39
Speaker 2: it's within my means, like I'm very likely to be like,
31:41
Speaker 2: oh here, let me help you. But then there has
31:45
Speaker 2: been situations where I've felt like I've been taken advantage
31:49
Speaker 2: of because someone's asked for something repeatedly and they either
31:53
Speaker 2: don't show the gratitude that I had anticipated, or you know,
31:58
Speaker 2: they haven't paid it back or something, and you do
32:00
Speaker 2: leave feeling a little bit like they've taken advantage of
32:03
Speaker 2: a situation. And I think that's where you also need
32:06
Speaker 2: to step back and go, well, why did I do
32:07
Speaker 2: that in the first place, And for me, I didn't
32:11
Speaker 2: do it, so like I think you need to approach it.
32:13
Speaker 2: And this is coming from privilege, so I do acknowledge that,
32:16
Speaker 2: but you need to approach it with I don't lend
32:18
Speaker 2: people money, like I've just I have a blanket rule.
32:21
Speaker 2: I don't lend you money. If you came to me
32:23
Speaker 2: and you said I need money for something great, I'll
32:26
Speaker 2: give it to you. There's no expectation. I hope that
32:29
Speaker 2: one day you're able to, you know, pass that on
32:32
Speaker 2: and do something for somebody else, because I don't want
32:35
Speaker 2: to change the friendship dynamics or even relationship that I
32:38
Speaker 2: have with anybody to be like, oh, you own me,
32:42
Speaker 2: like I don't know, Jess, you know me well enough
32:44
Speaker 2: to know that. It just gives me the ear clay.
32:46
Speaker 2: I don't even like other people paying for my coffees
32:48
Speaker 2: like it just there's something about my money story that
32:52
Speaker 2: means that I just want to be fiercely independent, and
32:54
Speaker 2: I desperately want that for other people. But for me,
32:57
Speaker 2: going back to this question, it's not about the IVF.
33:01
Speaker 2: It's not about their choice to have a child. Those
33:04
Speaker 2: are life choices, and those are deeply personal, and those
33:08
Speaker 2: are theirs, They're not yours. You don't get to have
33:11
Speaker 2: a conversation about that. From my perspective. But you have
33:15
Speaker 2: repeatedly given financial assistance to this person and been let down,
33:22
Speaker 2: like you've repeatedly not been repaid, which is left you
33:24
Speaker 2: feeling a little bit used. And I think it's very
33:28
Speaker 2: fair to your point. Just your financial security doesn't create
33:31
Speaker 2: an obligation to support other people. That's your financial security.
33:36
Speaker 2: You worked hard for that, and you can care deeply
33:39
Speaker 2: about someone and still decide that lending the money is
33:41
Speaker 2: no longer something that you're willing to do, and you
33:43
Speaker 2: actually don't owe them an explanation. I mean, I would
33:46
Speaker 2: address every situation with kindness, but a simple response like
33:49
Speaker 2: I'm just so sorry. I'm not in a position to,
33:52
Speaker 2: you know, provide financial assistance moving forward. That's it. Yeah,
33:56
Speaker 2: you don't have to justify your bank balance, you don't
33:59
Speaker 2: have to justify your goals. Like they can kind of
34:02
Speaker 2: read between the lines and be like, wow, yeah, I
34:04
Speaker 2: never paid them back and now I'm taking the mickey.
34:06
Speaker 2: If they don't have that level of self reflection, it's
34:09
Speaker 2: on them, not on you, Like I think that you
34:12
Speaker 2: don't deserve. Do you have to put more emotional energy
34:16
Speaker 2: into this than you clearly already are, Like, I think
34:18
Speaker 2: a very simple response to be like, I'm just not
34:21
Speaker 2: in that position anymore. It's not actually up for negotiation. Yeah,
34:25
Speaker 2: I'm just letting you know, like, so sorry, Jess, I'm
34:28
Speaker 2: not in the position to provide any financial assistance. What's
34:32
Speaker 2: someone going to say to that, do you know what
34:33
Speaker 2: I mean? Like, are you going to come back and
34:35
Speaker 2: be like, well, actually you are. You don't know my situation.
34:38
Speaker 2: And then I think for me, it's like the judging
34:42
Speaker 2: of other people's choices. It's not a bad thing, but like,
34:46
Speaker 2: I think that maybe your brain is just really trying
34:49
Speaker 2: to make sense of the situation because it's left you
34:51
Speaker 2: feeling taken advantage of. And I want you to reflect
34:54
Speaker 2: on that a little bit more, because you need to
34:57
Speaker 2: create a boundary regardless of what you're doing. Yeah, does
35:00
Speaker 2: that make sense? Like you need to create a boundary
35:02
Speaker 2: with this person because clearly you're saying you're not close
35:04
Speaker 2: with them. They're asking you for things that you're not
35:06
Speaker 2: comfortable with, whether they make these decisions or not. They
35:09
Speaker 2: needs to be a boundary, Yeah, because you can't consistently
35:12
Speaker 2: be lending money to somebody who's not valuing that and
35:14
Speaker 2: not paying it back and not doing what they said
35:16
Speaker 2: they would do. Yeah, so that would be with the top.
35:19
Speaker 3: Yeah, sorry, that's happening. But what did everybody else think?
35:22
Speaker 2: Oh?
35:22
Speaker 1: Girl?
35:22
Speaker 2: They popped off in the comments section. So first question
35:26
Speaker 2: we asked the community, have you ever financially supported a
35:29
Speaker 2: friend and later regretted it? Thirty eight percent of you
35:32
Speaker 2: said yes, and sixty two percent of you said no.
35:35
Speaker 2: That's a lot of people. Yeah, And then we as
35:38
Speaker 2: do you think it's okay to stop helping someone financially
35:41
Speaker 2: even if you can afford to help me? Reckon, I
35:45
Speaker 2: think you have.
35:46
Speaker 3: To look after yourself, But I also can like that
35:49
Speaker 3: be the question of like, do we have a responsibility
35:51
Speaker 3: to lift everybody up?
35:52
Speaker 2: I actually arising tired lifts of ships, poddies, nuance. Ninety
35:57
Speaker 2: seven percent of you said yeah, it's okay to stop helping,
36:00
Speaker 2: which validating, but also like I'm sorry at the crux
36:05
Speaker 2: of that that person has said they would do something
36:07
Speaker 2: and then they didn't do it. Yeah, you can't just
36:10
Speaker 2: keep like for me once, for me twice. Yeah, Like
36:14
Speaker 2: you can't keep throwing money at somebody who says they'll
36:18
Speaker 2: pay you back. You wouldn't allow that with an investment. Yeah, yes,
36:22
Speaker 2: Like I'm not going to be like, so, hey, if
36:25
Speaker 2: I give es money, you've never seen it again. It's crazy,
36:28
Speaker 2: do you know what I mean? Like in that case,
36:32
Speaker 2: give me mummy. And then we asked is protecting your
36:35
Speaker 2: own piece more important than avoiding someone else's disappointment? Ninety
36:38
Speaker 2: eight percent of you said yes. We then asked, what's
36:42
Speaker 2: your two cents my Queen's. A lot of people were responding, oh,
36:48
Speaker 2: my goodness, like IVF can't believe they do that. There
36:51
Speaker 2: was a lot of conversation around if they can't afford
36:53
Speaker 2: to have a kid, they shouldn't be doing it. End
36:55
Speaker 2: of story, Like such a complex it's such a complex situation,
36:59
Speaker 2: and I think adds to the layers of us trying
37:02
Speaker 2: to break down and understand this situation. But I think
37:05
Speaker 2: we need to remove the nuance. I think we need
37:08
Speaker 2: to remove that like narrative and just go, hey, a
37:11
Speaker 2: friend is asking for consistent financial support from you. You've
37:16
Speaker 2: just told me you're not that close. They're not somebody
37:19
Speaker 2: that you want an ongoing relationship with, and they're not
37:22
Speaker 2: repaying it when they said that they would. I think
37:25
Speaker 2: it's a pretty terrible decision to continue that at the crux,
37:29
Speaker 2: like they can layer on the sub stories, they can
37:32
Speaker 2: layer on everything else, but at the crux of this decision,
37:35
Speaker 2: like it's their personal circumstances. And I think if that
37:38
Speaker 2: then gets brought up and they're like, oh, but I've
37:40
Speaker 2: been going through this and this, you go, oh my goodness,
37:42
Speaker 2: I know, and that must be so hard, but I'm
37:44
Speaker 2: still just not in a position to be able to
37:46
Speaker 2: support you moving forward, Like it's not your circus, it's
37:50
Speaker 2: not your monkeys, And like I think there's a lot
37:52
Speaker 2: less nuance. Yes, there's complications, but it's not like your
37:55
Speaker 2: sister or you know someone that's really close or your
37:58
Speaker 2: best mate, where you're just like sow far out. This
38:00
Speaker 2: is more complicated because I do want to maintain this relationship. Yeah,
38:04
Speaker 2: like my queen, you're allowed a boundary. Yeah. Other people
38:07
Speaker 2: said I would never give anyone an amount of money.
38:10
Speaker 2: I wouldn't be comfortable not getting back, which is kind
38:12
Speaker 2: of where I like to land these days. I'm like,
38:15
Speaker 2: if I need to land it out, I've got to
38:17
Speaker 2: come to the determination that I might not get that back.
38:21
Speaker 2: If I get it back, fantastic if I don't like
38:23
Speaker 2: that was a gift. Yeah, And I think that you
38:25
Speaker 2: do need to deeply think about if you're going to
38:27
Speaker 2: give to some more money, what were your expectations around that?
38:30
Speaker 2: Like for me, no, I never want to talk about
38:33
Speaker 2: it again, Like that's done and dusted, like that happened,
38:36
Speaker 2: because otherwise it was never for that person. It was
38:39
Speaker 2: always for me and my own personal gain and some
38:42
Speaker 2: kind of weird power play. Absolutely not. Someone else said,
38:46
Speaker 2: if they're relying on you now for money, they absolutely
38:49
Speaker 2: can't support themselves in the future. Maybe send them a
38:51
Speaker 2: few resources to support themselves. A lot of people said boundaries.
38:56
Speaker 2: They keep asking because you keep giving. They know what
38:59
Speaker 2: your boundaries are. You need to reinforce what you expect
39:02
Speaker 2: moving forward.
39:03
Speaker 3: Yeah.
39:04
Speaker 2: I thought that was really smart because it's true, like
39:06
Speaker 2: as you said before, back, someone comes to you, like
39:08
Speaker 2: in a past job and asks for money because they
39:12
Speaker 2: probably they can sense that. Yeah, yeah, you would be supportive.
39:18
Speaker 2: Someone else said, sometimes it isn't helping because what you're
39:21
Speaker 2: doing is enabling.
39:22
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a really good way to look at it.
39:24
Speaker 2: Yeah. Another person said that scenario is wild, and there
39:28
Speaker 2: are a few other people that said, even if it
39:30
Speaker 2: doesn't end in financial ruin, you are still entitled to
39:33
Speaker 2: your own money that you have worked really hard for.
39:36
Speaker 2: And then there was a lot of people and I'll
39:38
Speaker 2: leave it on this sharing resources like the Good Shepherd
39:41
Speaker 2: and money smart websites and stuff like that that they
39:44
Speaker 2: can get support and just you also touched on you know,
39:47
Speaker 2: honing in on their NDIS stuff. Do you have enough support.
39:50
Speaker 2: Is there a caseworker you could talk to, like, where
39:53
Speaker 2: could you go to from here? And if you're on
39:55
Speaker 2: the ndis you very likely have a contact that you
39:57
Speaker 2: could reach out to and be like, what can I
39:59
Speaker 2: do here? And Mayken point you in the right direction?
40:02
Speaker 2: For sure, that's probably a really great place to leave
40:04
Speaker 2: it and wrap it. My friends, thank you for spending
40:07
Speaker 2: so much of your time with us on this. Hopefully
40:10
Speaker 2: it's still Friday morning. Maybe you're on your hot walk,
40:13
Speaker 2: you're doing your grocery shopping with no basket, you're on
40:17
Speaker 2: your morning commute. We really appreciate you, and we will
40:20
Speaker 2: be back next week and especially on Monday, with a
40:22
Speaker 2: brand new shiny money Darry. Until then, my loves, please
40:26
Speaker 2: take care of yourselves and of each other. And if
40:28
Speaker 2: you've enjoyed this episode, tell literally everybody you've ever met
40:33
Speaker 2: over the weekend. It's all I want to hear about
40:35
Speaker 2: in cafes. Have a good weekend. I love you, goodbye,
40:38
Speaker 2: my god Bi.
40:43
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