Latest / Millennial Mental Health Channel / Love in the Digital World- Polyamory, Online Dating, and Healthy Relationships

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Love in the Digital World- Polyamory, Online Dating, and Healthy Relationships · Millennial Mental Health Channel

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: This is Millennial Mental Health Channel. I'm doctor Justin Romano,
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: a Child and Adolescent psychiatry fellow.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: And I'm Eddi Koreo, a licensed clinical therapist. Our podcast
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: is here because we wanted to start a much need
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: to conversation about mental health.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Our goal is to teach you as much as we
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: can by sharing our own experiences and interviewing experts in
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: the mental health field. We will discuss topics like mood disorders,
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: psychotic disorders, substance use, personality disorders, and many more.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Millennial Mental Health Channel buy Millennials for everyone. We hope
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: you enjoyed today's episode.
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: MMHC is a production of Speaker from iHeartMedia.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: I Heart mir and we're back with MMHC.
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: Good to be here.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: We took a little bit of a break because I
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: had a couple of vacations planned. I went to Minnesota
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: and I saw Blink win eighty two at the Target
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Center in Minneapolis, which was awesome. So Eddie like, what
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: was the best thing that happened for our little break?
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: Summer breaks over? Wake up, you got to set your alarm.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: We're going back to school.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: So many patients coming in being like, oh man, my
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: sleep patterns are really screwing me right now, going to
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: bed at four am, and now I got to get
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: up for school a little.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: My coworkers told me that her kids have been going
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: to She's like, oh, they're gonna be hurting, you know,
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: going to sleep every night at one o'clock, waking up
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: after eleven.
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: They're in for a rude wakeby.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, but let's see. Best part of summer break.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: I went home twice just for like family things. For
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: a graduation party, my goddaughter's Kinsinetta. The weekend before my
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: last weekend the summer Friends wedding in La shout out
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: to Eric and Christen. Beautiful wedding down in La Area.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: I got to see a lot of my high school friends,
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: got to stay in Airbnb with a lot of them.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: Just very nice weekend to see everybody and just kind
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: of like, it's really cool to think about after what
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: are we going on year thirteen of.
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: Graduating high school?
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: Just whoa a friend group from high school and just
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: get to see each other and it's just one of
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: those things where you know you don't see each other
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: for a while, but it's just like you pick up
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: right where you left off. You know, I saw one
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: of my buddies. He is a resident in Boston emergency medicine,
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: and I hadn't seen him in a long time, and
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: we he ended up writing back from the airport with
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: us to the airbnb and stuff, and it was he
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: mentioned the same thing. It's just like like never left.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I'd probably say that's the highlight family, family
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: and friend time.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: Cool. Yeah, well that's our main shout out for today,
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: just family and friends.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: And agreed.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, when I was in Minnesota, I saw some of
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: my old high school buddies and it just it feels
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: so good. It feels so good to see him and
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: just tell all the same stupid jokes and stories and
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: you know, make fun of Tom for you know, pooping
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: in a closet once when he was too intoxicated.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: You know, the norm, the usual.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Sorry, Tom, you will never live that down.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: You just yeah, Tommy shout out to closets.
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and Colhon.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: Shoes which was where which was the receptacle for the poop?
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: Uh? What the fuck?
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: And moving on today, we are talking about relationships and
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: love and when. When we were writing the episode, we
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: decided that this episode is going to be called The
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: Power of love, because hey, we're a big Huey Lewis
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: in the news fans, right, Eddie.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: I fucking love Hubert Man like you. Hugh Dog is
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: probably top six.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: For me, Oh totally. He was actually one of my
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: first concerts. He played at Cheyenne Frontier Days and I
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: saw Kiey Lewis in the news.
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: Yep, yep.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: I saw him back in Shoreline Amphitheater, Mount View, California,
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: summer of ninety nine. Really it sounds realistic.
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: Right, I was.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: You had me going. I was very impressed, que Lewis.
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: That's the power of love.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: Because love has changed a lot, and this generation has
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: changed a lot in terms of love. I know in
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: the past we've mentioned that this generation is actually having
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: less sex than any other generation previously, even though that's
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: like easier to connect on phones, but we're not really
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: connecting much in real life. So we wanted to give
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: you some of the actual stats and facts how people
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: feel about love and dating and some of the different
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: topics around dating these days, to give you kind of
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: an idea of what it's really like from two people
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: who are in very committed relationships and have been for
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: years and years.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think you bring up a good point
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: of just like it's so easy to connect virtually and
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: via phone. Now I talk with a lot of students,
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: and like one thing that comes up is like, oh,
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: you know, this person added me on snap and they
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: go to so and so high school, or I met
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: this person on Snapchat over this or Instagram or they
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: asked for my Instagram and it's like, how the fun
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: are you meeting someone that lives thirty minutes away and
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: you're sixteen.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: It's kind of weird.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when I was in high school, if you weren't
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: in my class or before, like we're not we're not
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: meaning or you know the other thing too, if we
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: want to take it a step further, like a little
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: more specific example, but like sports, like when I remember
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: one time specifically we had a guy on our football
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: team when I was in high school where people were
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: talking crap about them a little bit on Facebook, but
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: like that was the extent of it. But now like
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: people were talking shit and like your dms or they're
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: going specifically too, like straight too, you know what I mean.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: So it's like, yeah, things have changed, and like the
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: relationships connection shifting a lot more virtually has definitely been
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: something that we're still I think, learning a lot about
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: and trying to figure out as we go.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: It's a huge cultural shift, like we've been doing relationships
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: the same way for thousands of years, then all of
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: a sudden, social media comes along and changes it completely.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Dating apps have changed it completely, So that's what.
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: We're talking about today.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: And having healthy relationships have been shown to have a
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: positive impact on mental health. I don't think that's much
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: of a big big statement there, it's kind of a
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: no brainer, but it has been scientifically shown in multiple
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: studies that yes, good healthy relationships are good for you
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: and good for your mental health. And dating has changed
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: so significantly in the past couple of decades, especially with
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: so much dating moving to the online world, so we're
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: curious about how this is changing those relationships the way
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: they're forming, if it has any impacts on the relationships
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: in general.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: I think too that's changed a lot with relationships has
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: been that polyamory or having multiple partners has become more
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: socially accepted. I think of preparation for today looking at
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: the notes that Justin made for us, just thinking of
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: how like, is this a similar thing, Like we've talked
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: about with something like autism or ADHD, where it's like
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: maybe it's not that it's more common, but it's more
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: that it's more or socially accepted. We know what to
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: look out for, maybe not so much with polyamory. It's
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: supposed to like autism ADHD, but just yeah, it's more
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: of like it's known about more and it's coming out
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: from being hidden more, I think, is what I'm trying
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: to say. Like, it's just people are more open to
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: like sharing it. It was something that they kind of
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: kept to themselves for a while and are just more
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: open to sharing it, I think, is what I'm trying
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: to say.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: I did have a friend recently come out and tell
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: me that he's been polyamorous for the past couple of years.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: And that was kind of surprising to me. I wasn't
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: expecting it. So I'm glad.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: That he felt comfortable to tell me about that kind
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: of thing, and it helps me understand that this is
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: something that is affecting the people in my life, and
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: I think it can be a very cool thing. And
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: I have patients telling me all the time that they're polyamorous,
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: especially this young generation.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: They're more open to those kinds of concepts.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was going to say the same thing. I
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: think it comes up a decent amount more than zero,
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: that we have students that'll mention that they are in
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: a polyamious relationship where they've used the word thropple before,
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: where there's a mom they At first I thought it
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: was like a joke word, but like I think it's
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: like an actual descriptor, Like people have used the word
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: and it's it's commonly used.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the kind of the nice thing about working
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: with young people is that you could exposed to all
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: sorts of new ideas.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: And all sorts of words.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: I recently learned about quadrobics the other day. Have you
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: ever heard about this?
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: No, what is that?
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: It's apparently doing aerobics, but it's like on all fours,
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: like running around kind of like a four legged animal.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And like I had a patient that.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: Was like super into it.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, if it's getting you an exercise, I'm
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: all for it.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: Like it's great.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: With another thing to consider, Like with even with the
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: rise of like virtualness technology being online, loneliness and isolation
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: are on the rise. You know, people are getting their
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: connection with on their phones, and this creates weak bonds
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: that then increase loneliness. So it's like my internet friend
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: or my friend on discord, like they're still your friend,
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: but that connection that you get from like physically being
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: next to somebody is kind of gone, you know, I
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: can say for sure me like, we as a society,
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: I think start to have started to love the comediance
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: of staying home more. So we're socializing a lot less.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: And I know for me, I know it's one of
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: the discussion questions, but yeah, I feel like I kind
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: of want to leave the house less than I used to.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: Me too, And I know I've mentioned it in the past,
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: but there was that one Ted talk that I watched
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: that was talking about how a lot of the social
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: interaction in this young generation is on the phone, so
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: they feel less of a need to actually go out
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: and do things in person. They're not leaving the house
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: as much. They don't feel they need to drive as
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: much because they're not leaving the house as much because
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: they are getting their social connections on their phone. But
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: that is fundamentally changing the way they interact with their
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: and the depth of their connections too. So yeah, I
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: love the convenience of staying home too, And when I
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: think about having to like go socialize after work, I
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: dread it.
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: I want to stay home and I want to do
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: absolutely nothing.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: I don't wan to sit on my phone and watch YouTube.
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: I feel you.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: There was a big study from UC Santa Barbara that
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: showed in twenty nineteen, forty five percent of people felt
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: that they contributed to society on a daily basis, and
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: in twenty twenty two, in the post covid era, that
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: number fell down to thirty one percent.
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: UC Santa Barbara, Go Gauchos. I think is that there
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: is that their mascot.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: You know, you would know better than me.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: I think I would. But all right, say the next point,
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna look it up.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Los Gauchos.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: So we can't talk about relationships in twenty twenty four
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: without discussing the online dating aspect of it. So here
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: are some stats and facts about online Then we'll kind
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: of jump into some of those, like what does a
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: good healthy relationship look like? But according to a Pew
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: Research survey from twenty twenty three, so just last year,
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: so relatively recent, one in ten married persons met their
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: significant other online.
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: That's pretty cool.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: Considering that online dating is a relatively new phenomenon, most
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: people who use dating apps said their experience was more
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: positive than negative, and that blew my mind because it
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: seems like you talked to anyone about online dating and
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: they're very negative about it, or that's the public perception
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: about online dating.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: I think especially women, they get like the shit under
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: the stick. A lot of times you got a bunch
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: of idiots on like those dating apps, like just kind
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: of saying whatever, sending whatever. I yeah, I'd assumed that
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: it was more negative than anything. Yeah to the first
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: st at, I will say this. I've actually been to
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: two weddings in the last four years of people who
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: met online.
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: So yeah, that's kind of cool. It's it's an interesting
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: way to meet someone. And I always found it.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: Hard when I was single years and years ago. You
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: never know who's single and who's not. And like I
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: was in a college town and you start talking to
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: a girl and girls would immediately be like, I'm in
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: a relationship.
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: Like they would be.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: So kind of rude and upfront about it.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: And so that hurts.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: If you could go onto a dating site where two
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: people want to meet, that's kind of a cool.
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: Place. That's a cool change.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: In society where you don't have to take that risk
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: of getting automatically rejected by someone.
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: You both kind of know what you're getting into.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: It's like the I don't know if they I think
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: they are real.
• 12:35
  Speaker 4: They got to be real.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I've definitely seen it on like a TV show,
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: but like the speed dating stuff of like, yeah, you
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: kind of know what you're getting into, right, both people
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: are on the same page, and now it's kind of
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: similar but with but like virtually yeah, yeah, exactly.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: You gotta just keep swiping. That wasn't finding nemo, right, Yeah.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: Just keep swiping. Divorce stats in fact, women are more
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: likely to feel overwhelmed by the amount of messages they receive,
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: while men are more likely to feel insecure about the
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: lack of messages they receive.
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: That doesn't surprise me too much.
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, kind of makes sense.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and then forty percent of people on dating apps
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: are looking to casually date, not long term commitment, which
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: I think, I don't know, I feel neutral about that, Like, yeah,
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: it makes sense. It doesn't be a little surprising. I
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: don't know, I think I feel neutral.
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, makes sense.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: Then, overall, the divorce rate in this country is about
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: forty two percent, and that's actually eighty six divorces every hour,
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: which is.
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: Kind of a lot to think about.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: I wish I had a better memory. I feel like
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: I read somewhere or heard something that the divorce rate
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: is like a little skewed that is not necessarily like
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: the most accurate representation or something. But obviously you found
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: some stats, so do we ever really know? Is there
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: ever really perfect statistic?
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: Right?
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: We're usually just looking at like a sample, so I
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: don't know. We're getting too deep.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: On our next episode we will be discussing.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: Statistics research methods too.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: That makes me sweat, so I don't like hearing those words.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: This is the last math class I took was statistics,
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: So wow, in theory, I should be versed in it,
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: but I don't know.
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: It's a tricky one.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: So back to some tips for how to live a
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: healthy life. Have a healthy relationships. And this is according
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: to the Cleveland Clinic. And if I know one thing
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: about healthy relationships, they happen in Cleveland, so right, Empathy
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: and kindness, reliability and commitment, mutual respect for boundaries, those
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: are all important things.
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: The ability to work together as a team, similar values
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: and goals, the ability to communicate in hard times, forgiveness,
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: enjoying each other's company, and then comfort and what this
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: really makes me think about. And before I say it,
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: I will preface it with this, I've never read the book.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: I've only heard about them, But like the Gotmans, they're
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: like the go to people for like couple's therapy or
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: relationship therapy, and they talk about things like stonewalling and
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: like what can help in terms of communication just overall
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: happiness with a relationship.
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: Those are very basic things.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: It's so easy to be able to read them off
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: and just say, yeah, I have empathy and kindness, have
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: good communication.
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: But boy does it take a lot of work.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: And I noticed in my own life, like having a
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: child who's now seventeen months old, and actually also recently
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: screwed Eddie over in our fantasy football draft order.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: I thought we had something special. He gave me the
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: eleventh and if you're a fantasy footballer, that's not a
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: good pick.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and he put both of his parents in the
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: top five, so he knows who knows what's good for him.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: And then the worst part is there's video evidence of him.
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: It just was he did it. Yeah, he did it
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: on his own.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: So for our fantasy football draft order this year, we
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: had ping pong balls and everyone had their own symbol
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: that represented them.
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: Eddie's was a mustache.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Of course, He's got a beautiful mustache. And then we
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: had Liam throw them and whoever was the farthest got
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: the first pick, and then down the line and yeah,
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: Eddie got second to last.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: Liam just dropped mine. He didn't even cock his arm back,
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: he just let.
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: Go because he threw it backwards.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: Really, just like if anything, alright.
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: Where was I going with this?
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, having a child has just made things more difficult.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: There's more stress, there's more more things that you have
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: to do, there's less time with your significant other. And
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: we've really had to learn to resolve conflict in a
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: way that we never really had to before, learn how
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: to communicate, how to work together as a team. So
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: that stuff is really useful for any relationship. But man, Yeah,
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: for all you parents out there, I feel you, And
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: it's a lot harder with kids.
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: I will take your word for it.
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: One of these days you're going to be a father
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: of many.
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: I have a feeling I'm a father of seventeen hundred
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: right now, shout out Sherwood High School. Who Well, this
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: probably begs the question does having social connection actually help
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: with mental health? And according to rupel at All twenty
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: twenty two, they synthesize data from other studies showing that
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: more social ties correlates with fewer depression symptoms, anxiety, and unhappiness.
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: So according to one study, yes, the answer is yes.
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: The answer is yes.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: Another study from the Harvard Business Review in twenty twenty
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: one showed that social networks are shrinking too. On average,
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: COVID saw a sixteen percent decline in the size of
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: people's social networks. So it's not just technology, it's also
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: the pandemic. It's a lot of different factors that are
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: shrinking our social networks and our connectedness.
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: Is this just like a natural thing that occurs as
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: an adult, right, Like we just we get busier with
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: work or with children or with like you know, things
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: that we're doing in our own like personal lives. It
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: does get hard to like pick up the phone and
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: like call somebody. It gets hard to text somebody. People
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: move away, like our friends, Like you know, you have
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: college where it's like you for the next Florida. However,
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: many years and then maybe gradsch after you live in
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: the proximity of people, right. I saw a TikTok the
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: other day where this person was like, yeah, no shit,
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: millennials can't buy a house. Everyone's doing a destination wedding,
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: and then in one of the comments it was like, well,
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: every wedding is a destiny when you get older because
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: all your friends move away. So it's just like there's
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: a lot of factors, and I just wonder how much
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: of those factors are similar to like the generation previously
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: from us, you know what I mean, Like, is this
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: just like a natural thing? And I think I've talked
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: with one of my friends about it too, or our
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: mutual friend Ryan, where just it's really hard to communicate
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: with friends, like to just like reach out, and like
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: I've had a ton of times where like, oh I
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: got a textas person, I want to reach out to them,
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: and then it's like two weeks later, I'm like, God, damn,
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: where'd the last.
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: Two weeks go?
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, so I wonder how much it's it's
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: just a similar experience that we all end up having,
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: and how much of it has has increased. I'm sure
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: there's been an increase of it from the norm you know,
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: with with COVID in the last few years. But I
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: don't know, just something something that's making me think about that.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: The work culture in general has changed so much of
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: our society to where in the old days, people used
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: to stick with the same business, the same company for
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: their entire life, their entire careers, so they would stay
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: in the same place. But nowadays people in the statistics
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: back this up. People are more likely to move for
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: their job, change cities, change places, and that really disrupts
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: your entire social network. I know, for my parents, they
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: moved from California to Wyoming when I was eleven, so
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: they were in there in their late forties early fifties
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: at that time, and they were telling me that it's
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: just so much harder to make friends when you're older,
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: and it's harder to build that big social network. And
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: so they still have a ton of really close friends
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: back in California and probably less friends out here, just
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: because it's hard to make connections as you get older,
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: especially with a big move in a completely new area.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: And then too like people's priorities change, right like if
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: people you know you have children, they're busy with that,
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: like there's just like the social interaction maybe isn't as
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: important anymore for at least a chunk of time, right, Like, Yeah,
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: there's a lot of it that goes into it.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: I feel like the natural human reaction, especially with cell
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: phones and the connections online, is to separate yourself a
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: little bit, Like I don't want to drive to this place,
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: I don't want to go meet these people. I don't
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: want any awkward situations. It's going to be more comfortable
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: to sit in my house and fart around on YouTube
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: for a couple of hours. But it's I think it's
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: really good for us to push ourselves and put ourselves
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: out there and meet new people. So it's such a
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: weird balance of we have to start being aware of
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: our natural tendencies to want to stay in you know,
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: even especially with delivery services now, like you don't have
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: to leave your house at all.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: Everything can come straight to you.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: But is that really the healthiest thing for us?
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: And too, I mean the rise of work from home, right, Like,
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: that's a huge thing. Like for a lot of people,
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: you know, some of their main relationships are their coworkers, right,
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: so you factor in that people are changing jobs lot
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: more often than they were in the past. And then
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: you factor in that there's an increase in jobs that
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: let you work from home and you just you're on
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: your own for you know, eight hours a day. You
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: have very many weeks during the year. I know for me,
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: when I was you know this pas over the summer,
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: right the last couple of months, you know, I'd be
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: pretty much on my own during the day. Can would
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: go to work and I would you know, fill my
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: time with whatever, and I went on walks a lot,
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: Like in the morning, I would just go on a
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: walk and I'd go to this neighborhood and walk around,
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: and I don't know, I would just think to my
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: head of like I'm doing this right now for two months,
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: Like I'm just going on my morning walk and you know,
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: listen to a podcast or doing whatever. But I get
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: to go back to work in a couple of months
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: and just see my coworkers who are now you know,
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: I consider friends and all of that. And there's people
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: who this is there every day where they go on
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: a morning walk and then they sit at home all day, right,
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: So that, yeah, I guess that that really increases it too.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: For myself, I've known. I do one day a week
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: where I work from home, and it's nice to have
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: the balance. I want to be able to go into
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: the office and see people make connections.
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: But it's also really nice to just work from home.
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, just do whatever I want.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: If I have a free minute, I can get stuff
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: done around the house, I can clean things up. So yeah,
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: it's all about balance in life.
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, speaking of.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: Balance, polyamory. Because I have had a lot of young patients,
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: it seems like this is such a popular topic and
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: something that a lot of young people are doing these days,
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: even not necessarily young people. I think people have probably
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: been doing it for a long time, but it's just
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: now becoming more socially acceptable. Is polyamory? So the definition
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: of a polyamorous relationship is the practice of engaging in
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: multiple romantic relationships with the consent of all people involved.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: Sometimes it's just referred to as non monogamy monogamy, I think,
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: if I can pull it down, definition out of my
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: back of my brain is the practice of engaging in
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: a singular romantic relationship, probably still with the consent of
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: all the.
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: People involved, but not always not all.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: A few different online sources suggest that about four to
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: five percent of people consider themselves polyamorous.
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: Which is pretty high. That's actually more than I thought
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: it was.
• 24:24
  Speaker 4: Going to be.
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: What's four to five Okay, let's see five percent of
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: how many people we got in the US. Three hundred
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: and twenty five million, that's my guess.
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, three hundred twenty five, three hundred and fifty million.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, okay, twenty five million times point zero five.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: It's about sixteen million people. Sixteen point two million people.
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: Dank, that's a decent amount of people.
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: So from the National Science Foundation, about three to five
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: percent of mammalian species are monogamous, and there are a
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: lot of bird species that tend to be more monogamous,
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: and so it's a common thing in nature, but it's
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: not a very common thing. And the fact that you
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: have largely considered themselves monogamous for the past couple hundred
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: years if it's kind of.
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: An interesting and unique thing.
• 25:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: I know, growing up, the only experience or thing that
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: I had seen I don't want to say thing, the
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: only I guess, the only time, let me back up,
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: the only time that I've seen like polyamory, and it
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: really gave it a negative connotation more towards the religion
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: was like sister wives, right, and like this like yeah, this.
• 25:31
  Speaker 4: Not trope, but this like.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: Just assumption that if you're Mormon you have multiple wives, right,
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: and then getting older finding out that really that was
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: just one very specific and extreme section of Mormonism. So
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: I'm sure Mormon people have probably been competing against that
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: for years of needing to like educate people like, that's
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: not us, that's just that one guy on TLC, you know.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: So it's like I feel like that was my only
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: exposure to it growing up was that and just connecting
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: it with Mormonism, which I now know is not accurate.
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: Because yeah, polygamy and polyamory are very different things for sure,
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: and the polygamy is definitely with the Mormons back in
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: the old days we're doing it's a little bit these
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: days too.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: Wait, what's the difference ageable words?
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: Well, polygamy is usually one man multiple wives or vice
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: versa one woman, but then polyamory is both people can
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: be in multiple relationships at once. But I mean that's
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: a good, good definition and a good clarification point to
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: have in all of this.
• 26:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, damn, the more you know, Okay.
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: The more, you know, and they sound incredibly similar.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: To yeah, what the fuck they're off by like two letters.
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: Yes, polically.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: There are actually a few celebrities that have come out
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: as polyamorous, and even some that are in committed long
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: term relationships so they find which I find interesting, such
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: as like Willow Smith and will.
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: Smith not with each other. I guess we have to
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: like say that right, like because Willow is the daughter,
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: yes dad, but yes, the same family.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: Okay, there's a lot of polyamory and the Smith family.
• 27:23
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: Uh.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: The next person is Jake Paul. I don't have positive
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: thoughts about Jake Paul. So there's that ru Paul RuPaul's
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: drag show. You ever see that clip where Rue Paul
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: is on god, what's his name? One of the late
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: night talk show hosts, the little one, uh, the little guy?
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: This Jimmy Fallony?
• 27:44
  Speaker 4: Is he smaller? Is Jimmy Fallon a smaller guy?
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Fallon and Kimmel are both little guys?
• 27:48
  Speaker 4: I think, yeah, one of them.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: Okay, he was on there and he says something like
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: so you're known or like you're like a drag queen
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: or whatever, and then Rue Paul goes.
• 27:59
  Speaker 5: Drag and then he just liked the guys like ship
• 28:03
  Speaker 5: and then the Queen of Drag and it's just funny
• 28:07
  Speaker 5: because he like his life flashed before his eyes, like damn,
• 28:11
  Speaker 5: I'm about to get canceled.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: And exactly, I have seen that, and that one's really funny.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: And I do love RuPaul's drag race.
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: Who's the whatever late night talk show hosts that was fallon?
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: I believe there were going for sure.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: And then speaking of Jake Paul, not RuPaul but Jake Paul,
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: who do you got in the Jake Paul Tyson fighting?
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: I need Mike Tyson to kick his ass. I need
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: it to I have nothing else. I'm gonna be completely honest.
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: I just need I need Mike Tyson to do it.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I would love to see Iron Mike just
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: put him on the floor.
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: Why not?
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: You know, the issue is is that Iron Mike is old,
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: So it's like what it's It's just frustrating because it's
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: like it's not even real sport at this point. It's
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: just Jig Paul boxing and washed up guys, except for
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: the one time that he boxed the real boxer and
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: then lost.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, how many ears will be bitten in
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: the match.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: I hope both of them like bring it back, Mike.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: Some other celebrities that have come out as Polly A
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: or Polly which have which is some of the shortened
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: firm forms of the word are Elliott Page and also
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: Shalen Woodley, which was Aaron Rodgers ex girl.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: Ah Okay, I'm like, that's a familiar name. But obviously,
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: as you know, I don't know things.
• 29:35
  Speaker 4: So the no celebrity stuff.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, movie actors are not your strong suit, but you
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: got plenty of other strong suits.
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: What is her name?
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: Mike Coworker had me watch the video where she dances.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: She's trying to get into Juilliard.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: Oh uh, we're talking to save the last.
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: Dance maybe yep.
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: She so at the end she like shows up to
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: her Yeah, her.
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: Julliard Julia Styles, I believe.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: Julia Stiles like, oh, she was like our whatever actress
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: from earlier and I was like, I don't even know
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: who that is. I saw her on SNL one time.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: She like redid the dance with one of the actors
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: with one of the SNL cast members.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: So yeah, anyway, moving on to discussion questions, Eddie, do
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: you think you could ever be polyamorous.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: It's not something that's ever crossed my mind. Yeah, yeah,
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: I think you know, one thing I think that we
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: run into, especially because we're we work with a younger population,
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: is that I consider us to be pretty open minded, empathetic,
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: supportive clinicians. Right, So whenever a student or a young person,
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: a young tea and young adult tells us something that
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: is different than the societal norm, I think we're pretty
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: open to being like, yeah, okay, like thanks for sharing that.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: It's just interesting how much like people just aren't normally
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: like that, right. And I don't want to make this political,
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: but you see that a lot with like different sides
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: of and maybe even within the right political spectrum, just
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: because one person's on one side on one person on
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: the other side, they can still have a very similar
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: reaction to like something like this. So it just makes
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: me think about how, like, you know, I asked the question.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: For me, it's like, that's not something that's ever crossed
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: my mind. And that's my like open minded kind of answer.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: You asked that to somebody else, I'm like, oh the
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: fuck out.
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: Here's these days. They're weird shit.
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, okay, right, whatever, man, just because it's
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: not something that's part of my life or something i've
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: considered doesn't automatically mean that it's like evil or a
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: bad thing.
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: I was having a good conversation with a friend of
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: mine where he said, I don't believe that we're past monogamy,
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: that that you could just be okay with your significant
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: other being with someone else.
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: I think it's a.
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: Reasonable point of view. But I also think that a
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: lot of people are okay with and they want to
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: explore other relationships and they.
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: Want the non committal.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: Side of And I don't want to just say like, oh,
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: people in polyamorous relationships are non committal.
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: I don't want to say that.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: But just being able to explore things and be able
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: to have multiple relationships going on as you explore things,
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: it's not a bad thing. Because I was talking to
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: someone who was in a poly relationship and they were like,
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: I just broke up with my boyfriend and it's been
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: really hard. And I said, well, how are you getting
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: through it? And they said, well, my girlfriend's been really supportive.
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, that's kind of nice to have
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: something to fall back on. So you're not just going
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: from complete full committed relationship to absolutely nothing, to actually
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: having some people that you do enjoy spending time with
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: and can help you through those difficult times.
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: And I wonder if it's less of a non not
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: even I think my thought on it is. To me,
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: it seems more of less of a non committal thing
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: and more of a just it's committal, just to different
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: people or multiple people, right, they're still commitment exactly.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: And I've worked with some families that make it work,
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: that do a really good job of taking care of
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: a lot of different kids in the family involved too,
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: and still trying to make everyone feel loved and accepted.
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: So it's kind of.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: Cool to see polly a families work it out, make
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: it work together.
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: Do you have an answer for the question?
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: You know, in a different life, sure, I could see
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: myself being polyamorous, but happy with where I am right now,
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: not playing on making any big changes.
• 33:38
  Speaker 4: That's good.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: How about do you feel like you've become less social
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: after the pandemic?
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: I swear I was just talking about this recently. I
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: don't want to say this out loud, but I will.
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: I love my job and I love being around the school.
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: I just you know, clients, whatever, sometimes I just have
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: such a short fuse with groups of people, like I
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: just like get like this visceral reaction of like I
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: don't like people, and I think it has been since
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: the pandemic, like I just have a really hard time, yeah,
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: big groups of people. I don't find myself wanting to
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: be around anymore. I feel like I was okay with
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: it before. A good example I think is like the
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: college grad school. I feel like I went to a
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: lot of local Portland small venue concerts, whether it was
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: like a reggae concert or the one time we went
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: to like an millennium concert, right like a small you know,
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: not a huge venue, but just like I think that's
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: one thing too that I really like about Portland has
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: been like the small like music scene of like you
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: can have this like band that you really like or
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: this group, and then they're like not very far away
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: from you, like they're in like a small venue, and
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: I really enjoyed them, like, oh this is you know,
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: we used to sit with our friends like oh we
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: got to go to a concert again, Like man, this
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: shit's so much fun. And now I'm just kind of
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: like I really want to stand around with all these
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: people I'll do it for sure, but it was like, yeah,
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: I feel like less less desire to Yeah.
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: That makes sense.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: I remember when the pandemic first happened, like all of
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: our shows, all of our concerts, all of our flights
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: got canceled. I remember feeling like there was a weight
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: lifted off of my shoulders and just being like, Okay,
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: I can do whatever now. And mostly it was just
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: me and my wife riding our bikes all weekends with
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: our best friends. So I do think I became less social.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: I got out of the pattern of pushing myself to
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: go out and do those things, which now I'm starting
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: to think.
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: Was it a good thing? Was it a bad thing?
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: Hard to know.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: I think I need to start pushing myself to get
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: back out there and being more social and getting involved
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: in something that I feel like is important to me
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: and important helps me feel connected to my community.
• 35:57
  Speaker 4: It's definitely a shift.
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: I mean, if anything, people might they might discount it,
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: but I really do think we're still we're still years
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: away from going back to you know how it kind
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: of were. We're still learning, kids are still learning, right,
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: They're still trying to get through it.
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: So well, let's end it. There, let's do.
• 36:15
  Speaker 4: It sounds good to me.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: Before we do end it, I'm gonna say one thing.
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: Two of my cousins gave me shit at our Kinsanta
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: that I never shout them out, but I've shouted other
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: people out. I think it was my cousin's Ac and Morney.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: I think it was you too. So if you made
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: it this far in the episode, there's your shout out.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: Don't say, don't say I don't love you. But with that,
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: we're so happy to be back. This little song break
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: was nice. But god damn it do I love talking
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: with you, justin just hanging out and getting a get
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: into to talk to our listeners and have a good
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: time with it and cover some cool topics. So with that,
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: what do I usually say? You know where to find
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: us Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts. Feel
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: free to leave us a five star review, make sure
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: to follow, like, listen, subscribe whatever button is on there
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: on your app. You can also leave us a comment.
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: We'd love to see it on social media at Millennial MHC.
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: That's TikTok, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, and our website MILLENNIUMIMAHC dot com.
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: Thank you for listening. We'll see you guys again in
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: a couple of weeks, and make sure to take care
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: of y'all mentals.