Latest / #BeMoreLobster / Not all progress is loud

Transcript

Not all progress is loud · #BeMoreLobster

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today in the Seeking Simplicity Podcast, I'm talking to you about why I believe it's the invisible work that counts the most.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because not all progress is loud.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, some of the most important changes you will ever make happen quietly.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: But it's easy to discount them because no one else can see them.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: No one else knows what you're doing.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: But trust me when I tell you that invisible work is often the most powerful.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: If you'd like to find out more, you know what to do.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Grab your brew and let's dive right in.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm guessing you know by now that when I work with my clients, I work using a trilogy of certified high performance coaching, NLP, and somatics.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: The Certified High Performance Coaching is very brain-oriented, the semantics is very body-based, and NLP combines the body and the brain.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: And together we create this complete sort of a cognitive body-based rewiring so that you can kind of create any result that you want in your life.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: With that being said, without a doubt, the most resistance that I get comes from doing the invisible work.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: We have been taught to value productivity and a productivity that can be seen, whether it's an achievement or a checked-off to-do list or the level of exhaustion that you're feeling.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: If you can't show somebody where you've been doing the work and there isn't this tangible output, this physical thing that you can show somebody for the amount of time that you've spent and invested in the thing, then there seems to be this preconception that it's not worth anything.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: But let me ask you, how many times have you exhausted yourself in action doing things and you still don't have the result that you want?
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: I've worked with a lot of small business owners in my time, and I'm working with quite a few of them now.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: And even though logically they know they're doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, they still resist the invitation, the suggestion that really it's about focusing on the being before the doing.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's about the intention and the and the energy with which they're going into their business and their social media and for other clients into their relationships, into their career, into whatever change it is that they want to make in life.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the things I hear people saying most often are, but it doesn't really count because it doesn't, no one notices.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: So because there isn't this tangible physical product, because someone can't, you can't say to somebody, look, this is what I've done and this is the exact result that I've got from it, it becomes devalued and it doesn't matter.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Now that's a little bit of a twofold thing here, right?
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because we can see in that in that scenario, if we're running that thought process, that we're really putting way too much emphasis on what other people think rather than what that we're doing for ourselves, and it's a very human condition to want other people to notice when we've been busting our butt to get something, get a result, and we can't actually show them.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: The biggest block, though, is probably this feeling that I'm not doing enough.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: Again, coming back to this place that we value on the doing, there's a value in society of exhaustion of the amount of hours worked, of how busy you are, about how much time you don't have, about how many things you can multitask.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: It is such a trophy to be exhausted that when I say to my clients, look, I need you to get on the mat and do some somatic practice.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: I would like for you to invite some magic back into your life.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: I would like for you to take more time out.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: I would like for you to spend more time in nature.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: There is this inherent fear of I'm not doing enough.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: And if I want to get the results that I want to get, then surely it makes sense to do more.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Well, no one's saying you can't do more, but are you doing more of the same thing and expecting a different result?
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Or are you willing to do more of the things that are going to really matter at this moment to create the result that you want?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: And again, for most of my clients, certainly in the early days, it's more of that invisible work.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's giving value to the things that cannot be seen.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's been giving value to the things that you don't understand.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of work in NLP and semantics that we don't understand with a logical mind, but your brain is your body is so intelligent, your unconscious mind keeps you alive, and yet we want to work out how it's all working out for us, right?
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: So that whole thing of I'm not doing enough, we can't we don't give enough value to the things that we don't understand and the things that we can't see working in real time.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: And another one is like, well, this doesn't really count.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't count as as real progress if I'm not busy doing all of the things.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: What's the cost though?
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: Let's think about the cost of running that same method, using the same map of doing, doing, doing when you've been doing that for a while, you're probably quite bored, disconnected, tired, and maybe even frustrated because it's just not giving you the return for the amount of investment you're putting in.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: The first thing is that you dismiss the inner shifts that make the outer change possible.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: I am an absolute avid believer for my clients that they want to work with who they are before what they do.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Let me give you an example of that.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: If you've ever been to a slimming club, and I confess I have been there in the past, and you're in a room of 50 people, and a majority of those people will literally get down to their undercrackers before they get on the scale because they want to lose every possible half a pound, and they are hoping and wishing that what they ate in the last couple of days will be enough to counteract what they ate in the four days before that, and that the scales will show them something that's not gonna make them feel like absolute crap.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then there are the few people that just get on the scales in a level of certainty that they showed up for themselves and they follow the plan and they're expecting to get a good result.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: And if they don't get a good result, then they're gonna think, okay, so where you know what didn't work for me because I know that I followed the plan.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the reason I share that is because for most people, they will focus on an external plan, a strategy, a program, a coach that's going to, by osmosis, create the result, the change, the transformation they want to have.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: I used to be in my past life, I had a personal training studio.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: And the people that lost the weight and kept it off were the people who changed inside.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: They changed who they were.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't just change what they ate for a week, two weeks, three weeks, four weeks to get into the bikini or the wedding dress, or you know, for the for the black party dress for the Christmas season.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: They changed who they were, they prioritized their health, they worked out because they wanted to feel strong, they did the hard things even when they didn't want to do it.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: So when you get caught in doing the visible work versus the invisible, you are devaluing the monumental, transformational, life-changing, forever shifts that happen on the inside and not on the outside.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: The other cost is that you can also get really stuck in consistently measuring yourself by external achievements.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: How much have I done?
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: How far have I gone?
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: How much have I made?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: How much have I lost?
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: How much of this?
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Da-da-da-da.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: We get stuck in some kind of number, some kind of figure.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: And we forget that we are here having this crazy human experience that is very driven by connection and community and love and growth and compassion, like that's what we're here for.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: And we get stuck in this box of getting through the day and ticking off achievements, thinking that we're going to feel happy and fulfilled.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I would say, for everybody that I've ever worked with, that has never ever been true.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: And annoyingly, perhaps, if you think about some of the maybe the famous people or the influential people that you follow on social media, I will guarantee that most of them will say to you that when they got the thing, they got the status, they got the money, they got the community, they got whatever it was they were striving for, they realize that that wasn't the thing that that really that gave them what they wanted.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: It was who they became in the process.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: And it's very easy when you're not in that space to go, oh God, yeah, yeah, it's all right for you.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: But I really do believe that's true.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: That the journey is the goal.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: If you think about it, when you get the goal, whether it's the£20 that you want to lose, or the or the 10 grand a month that you want to make, or the kind of relationship that you want to have, or the amount of traveling you want to do around the world, or you just want to completely reinvent your life, the change doesn't happen the minute you get that goal.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: The change happens consistently every single minute that you show up for that dream, that vision, that transformation.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: It is this constant, um, this constant evolution, and yet we invest all of our time and energy in when I get there.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: And the truth is, it's just almost impossible to get there and stay there if you don't change who you are on the inside.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, at this stage in my life, the biggest cost to you is missing the joy and the pride and the transformation of you becoming someone new, of you stepping away from the constraints of the condition that you've been living under, the map of the world that somebody else gave you, your school teachers, your society, your parents, your caregivers, like you were brought up and told this is how you're going to live.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: And we're never taught to question it until we get to a certain age and we're like, shit, man, I don't even want this anymore.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what is all this about?
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: When you realize that you can choose every day to be someone new and create something new, that is where it gets really, really exciting.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: And you will never have that if you keep moving and going for the external, and you don't do that quiet inner work that most of the world just continually reject.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: The shift here is that the healing, the development of self-trust, the emotional regulation, your ability and willingness to create a greater capacity, to have the harder emotions, to feel more uncertainty, to actually act from a space of fear and the not knowing.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: These are the foundations that make everything else sustainable.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: These are the things that will help you create any result that you want in your life.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: Achieve anything, go anywhere, become anything, do anything.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's that sense of self, that sense of certainty, that sense of sufficiency, that sense of no matter what, I will always figure this out.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: No matter how hard this is, I know I will make it through.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: Just because the world doesn't clap for the thing that you're doing, it doesn't mean it's not valuable.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: You have to generate that own value for yourself.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: You have to see the impact on your health, on your relationships, on your sense of connection to your life, on the sense of community that you're creating in your life, on the sense of when I get to that age where I know my time is super limited.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: Am I going to look back and say I lived, I lived it like a rainbow.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: I lived every single colour in the palette.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: I did not hold back.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: I found a way to express my highest and happiest and healthiest and most vibrant vision of myself.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: So feeling I'm preaching a little bit here.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, not sorry.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: I want to just offer you a couple of different ways for you to start creating this today.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to acknowledge one invisible shift that you've made recently, and maybe you didn't even realise.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: So let me give you a couple of examples.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: Did you choose to take a breath and respond before you reacted with your child, with your partner, with a colleague?
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: Did you choose the karma response?
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: Did you maybe keep a boundary that you put in place and it would have been really easy to like drop the boundary, but you're like, no, I'm keeping it?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Did you do that?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Did you have a thought that you didn't believe and you acted, you chose not to have that thought, like a thought come into your brain, and you're like, no, I I'm not believing that today, I'm believing in something different.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: These are those day by day, moment by moment, invisible shifts that literally create a kaleidoscope of new use that you project out into the world and create a different reality.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: I would love for you to write that down as evidence and then seek more ways to do more of that.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: Those invisible shifts that may not be evident at all to somebody else, but you know they are creating a whole new future tapestry.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: And then let that be enough.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: Let that one invisible shift a day be enough until it becomes more you, and then make it two invisible shifts or three.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome, focus on creating a greater connection to your inner wisdom, to listening to your intuition, to following your inner guidance instead of what everyone else says or what the world says you should be doing and you should be wanting and you should be creating.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: Find some space to just be.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: So please do celebrate one piece of invisible work that you have done this week.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: Name it, honour it, celebrate yourself for it.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: And if you really like this episode, here's what I'd love you to do for me.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: I would love for you to leave me a review on iTunes.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: It means such a lot for me to be able to bump up through the podcast list.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: And as always, please do share on your social media because these little things create big shifts in everybody's lives.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for being part of my community, and I'll speak to you again in the next episode of the Seeking Simplicity Podcast