Latest / Long Haul Marriage Roadcast / We Don't Have Time! (Part 9 of 10) 10 Things That Can Make or Break Your Marriage

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We Don't Have Time! (Part 9 of 10) 10 Things That Can Make or Break Your Marriage · Long Haul Marriage Roadcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Can you believe.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: It's already almost halfway through november No. It's crazy.
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: I'm already planning different nights, evenings, events for December.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: Well, I know you are, and I can't believe you
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: just came off of the busiest evergreen weekend, and then
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: we went to honor your sister on her 70th birthday.
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: We did.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Happy birthday, Angie. Yeah, happy birthday, Ang.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: Aw, we love you.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: Hey, hey to Ang. And here you are making plans
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: for more stuff. Good night. Energizer bunny over there. So
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: speaking of evergreen, man, just seeing the pictures and the
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: videos and more than that, just the comments of people,
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: just their testimonies of what happened. I love just, again,
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: just seeing the prep and all the prayer that went
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: into it and just seeing just how each woman had
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: their own individual experience of how God met them and
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: just what they felt, what they experienced. And then the,
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: I mean, A, the repeat customers, people who've been to
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: at least two of the three Evergreen retreats and then
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: the ones who plan to come back. But more than anything,
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: the relationships that have been established and started and cultivated
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: through that. I mean, just seeing people who literally were
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: isolated saying they now have a new community of women
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: that they can relate to and feel not so alone
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: in this devastatingly isolated world we live in.
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: So yeah, loneliness is not going to be a thing
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: with the Evergreen community.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: No.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: So talk about it.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: It was incredible. I came home happily exhausted, is what
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: I say. And Lisa, who came and cooked for us
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: the whole time, said the same thing.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Shout out to Lisa, man.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: Shout out. Hey, hey to Lisa.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: She was the chef.
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: She came and just cooked for us the whole weekend.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: Serving, man.
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: It was really just sweet. And she could be kind
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: of a fly on the wall. And so she received,
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: but man, she gave a lot.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: You don't want any flies in the food, but she was.
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: She was a fly on the wall. She was on
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: the wall. But it was just a really sweet time
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: where it just showed me women need this. They need
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: to get away. They need time to be in community
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: with other women. They need some downtime where everything isn't
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: just planned every second of the day. We gave... quite
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: a bit of time for you time. You get to
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: choose what restores you the most. So I'm talking about
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: you could go hike in beautiful Broken Bow. You could
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: go get in the hot tub. You could go sit
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: at the table and choose one of the crafts that
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: was there and just talk to other women while you're
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: using your hands making something beautiful. You could sit there
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: and do a puzzle. You could go take a nap.
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: I don't know how... much time women really get to
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: devote to that in their lives with work, with kids,
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: with the home. And so it is an invitation to
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: come get away and rest.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: Speaking of rest, did you have anybody just take a
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: three-day nap?
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: Nope. Nobody hold off? No one hold off. Nope, they didn't.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: They were all a part of everything. It was really beautiful.
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: So 25 women. We'll do another one coming up, TBD.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: Not sure if it's going to be spring or summer.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: So we're deciding that. And then, um, if you don't
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: follow evergreen women on Facebook or Instagram, uh, go follow us.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: And that's the best way to kind of stay in touch.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: But you know, one lady is a good by-product too,
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: is we had a lot of dudes missing their women.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: So you realize if you don't already just know how,
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: how much they do and, and, are not expressing how
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: grateful you are for what they do around the house
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: and with the kids. And I mean, a lot of
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: us were on cooking duty and kids duty and dog
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: duty and all kinds of duty. Dog duty. And yeah, man.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: And so we had one just reach out. I know
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: one husband reached out and said, man, I really miss you.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: You were missed around here.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: So, you know, different stages of life that people are in,
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: but he He definitely missed her. And so that was
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: cool that he reached out and that made her feel appreciated.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: She goes, I don't know if I've ever heard him
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: say that. That was cool.
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: So if you're hearing this and you think, man, that
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: sounds so good. My heart is just aching for something
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: like that. Just know that you are invited to the
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: evergreen table. So you don't have to come knowing a soul.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: There were quite a few women who showed up that
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: were like, I knew of Jamie or I knew Jamie
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: or maybe I knew Danny or, but I, or Brian,
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: you know, I knew Adrena from school or whatever it is. They,
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: they might have known or known about someone, but most
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: people came not knowing. Or they said, Hey, they invited
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: a friend. Would you want to go with me to
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: do this weekend? I don't know what it's going to
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: be about, but let's go. And so maybe two friends
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: came together. But it doesn't matter. Come alone. Come with
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: a friend. You're invited to the table. So watch out.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: That's so cool.
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: Watch out for the next one. And we are not
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: about only retreats two or maybe three times a year.
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: We are about doing gathering locally as well. So we
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: just posted this today in December, Tuesday, December the 8th,
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: I believe. We're doing a favorite things party here at
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: our house. So you can follow us to find out more.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: Is it going to be one of those when the
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: dog bites, when the bee stings? I simply remember my
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: favorite things.
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: Maybe you can play that on the.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: Piano for us while we party.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: Anyway, so we're going to do some local stuff, too.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: That's so cool.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: I'd love for you all to join us.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: The broken bow. Getting away for... Two nights, three days.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: What a great deal. The pictures and the videos look great.
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: And we were up in the mountains of Broken Bow.
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: So there's like a lower elevation and then a higher elevation.
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: The roads we had to take there were crazy. It
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: looked like a roller coaster. But we were high up
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: at the treetops where we could see beautiful colors. It
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: was amazing.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: So did you talk to any of those women about
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: our podcast? Did they... Anybody listen? I'm wondering if anybody's
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: doing the challenges during the week.
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: I hope so.
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: If this is making a difference. I hope so. 10
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: things that'll make or break your marriage. And we've got
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: the little challenges every week. So did we do the
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: challenge this week? Or were you too busy with.
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: I may have been too busy with Evergreen. Sorry. Maybe
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: that needs to be part of our.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: Speaking of being too busy, episode nine, We Don't Have Time.
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: We Don't Have Time. That's going to be the title
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: of our episode today.
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: And.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: What I would say is we don't actually have a
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: time problem. We have a priority problem, right? There's only
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: so much time in a day and you have to
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: be very deliberate and intentional. Those are the words around
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: this on what we focus on, what gets our attention,
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: what gets our intention. So yeah, man, there's so many things.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: Life is for sure overwhelming. And we talked to last week, Um,
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: in parenting, we talked about those, you know, that season of,
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: you know, when kids are first born, just that, the
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: time and attention to newborns and ankle biters and, and
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: then all the activities, school and extracurricular activities, sports and
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: dance and gymnastics and volleyball. And so, yeah, there's a
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: lot and it can be overwhelming. And so the question is, um,
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: when you start feeling that disconnect or being overwhelmed, um,
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: a lot of times one of the first things to
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: go is the time that you have with your spouse
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: to be intentional, to be focused. You know, we've talked
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: about just setting a 10 minute timer to go out and,
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: you know, sit in the egg chairs and watch a
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: sunset and how that can make a dramatic difference. Having
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: a vision meeting, but yeah, it's, it's challenging because some
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: people would say, well, it's easy for y'all to say
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: a little empty nesters over there, but what about us
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: in the throes of life? So talk about, man, there's work, phones,
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: social media, you know, sports and hobbies. we got our
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: friends that we want to attend to, right? And we've
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: got all the kids' activities, and we're just tired.
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, just exhausted. And all that is true. I think
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: there may be some people that are busier than other people.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: There are some people that need to probably pare down
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: their social calendar. But I would say you make time
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: for what's important.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: And so... I guarantee you there is probably a super,
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: super busy person out there that if we looked at
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: their calendar, we would be like, dang, that's crazy. I, that,
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: that makes my head spin. But if they are passionate
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: about running, I guarantee you, they will find time in
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: their day to get in a 30 minute run. And
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: so it really truly comes down to priorities. So I
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: think most of the time it's, Our spouse isn't going
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: to be the one standing there going, hey, hey, listen,
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: pick me, pick me. We need to have time. Now,
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: sometimes that does happen, and it just seems like, oh,
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: my gosh. It just, that wears you down because you think,
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: where is it going to come from? Where is that
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: time going to come from? Speaking of that, just before,
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: go ahead.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: Sorry.
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: Well, I was just going to say that it really
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: does come down to saying man something's got to give
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: because sometimes there really aren't like if you are already
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: waking up at five in the morning what are you
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: gonna wake up at four in the morning okay that's
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: not what we're talking.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: About here and you know what i want to go
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: run but i also want to go to the gym
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: so man maybe get up at three because i want
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: to get that crossfit workout in before it's like and
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: some people would say well no not before i run
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: but a lot of runners like if they think i
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: gotta work out and you'll work out other areas of
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: my body i see that where it's like okay something's
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: going to give in the evening or in the morning.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: And there's only so much time in a day, right?
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: And you've got to sleep. So yeah, it is priorities.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: And what I was going to say is you said
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: a lot of spouses won't say, oh, here, pick me,
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: pick me. A lot of times, and you said sometimes
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: they do, but many times that, hey, pick me doesn't
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: come in the form of a question like, hey, I
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: miss you. I want to spend time with you. It says, hey,
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: aren't you always on that damn phone? So a lot
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: of people will say, man, you're always on your phone.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: Instead of, hey, I miss you and I miss uninterrupted
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: time with you. So that's just one thing we've talked
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: about before where you can reframe if you're feeling like,
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: you know what, I do feel a little neglected right now.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: Instead of criticizing the person always being on their phone,
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: you may just be honest and say, you know what,
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: I wish you'd hang up and hang out with me.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: Literally. I love when you, that made me feel so good.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: Instead of criticizing, man, you're always in there working on your,
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: you know, fishing reels or whatever. It's to say, Hey,
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: I really miss you.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: I miss you. Yeah.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: Just that will just soften someone's heart.
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And I think when you can enter into that
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: conversation like that, and it's not a, we're on, you know,
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: separate teams, we're on the same team. We've gotten really busy. Man,
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: I miss you. And when your heart is softened, guess what?
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: You're both going to start looking for ways. What you
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: focus on grows. And so when you focus on your
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: marriage and think, man, I want to spend time with him.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: He's not a bother. He's not an interruption. He's not
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: just one more thing on my to-do list. He's somebody
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: I really love and want to spend time with. I
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: want to be curious about how he's doing or what
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: he's interested or what's going on in In His world.
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: And sometimes I think when we feel spread thin, we
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: can make it seem like it is this huge... It
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: seems like we need 36 hours away together. We're not
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: talking about that. I'm talking about if you can't find
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: 10 minutes a day, that's bare minimum. 10 minutes, 15
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: minutes a day to put the kids down and just...
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: you know, go sit in your, you know, rocking chairs
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: on the front porch or go, you know, go sit
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: on your couch with no phone, no TV, nothing interrupting
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: you and just take a breath together.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And people don't believe that. And we've overemphasized it
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: on this before. And I want to just double, like really,
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: really highlight that point. Just small deposits of connection will
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: go a long way. Like you said, people may say, well,
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: I can't just I can't afford a date night, money-wise, time-wise.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: When do I have time to get away on a vacation?
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: We're not talking about that. And maybe those are great
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: when you can get them, but we're talking about the small,
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: the bids for connection. Hey, will you go take a
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: walk with me after supper for 15 minutes? Will you
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: go sit and watch the sunset? And you know what?
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: Another small deposit of connection. You did that this weekend,
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: and I want to just brag on it. So obviously
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: you're busy. You've got evergreen. You're running a freaking women's retreat.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: And you've got all the logistics that you're thinking about.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: Every woman that you prayed for and you're writing them
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: cards and praying for them by name before the retreat.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: You're speaking for crying out loud. You're hosting. You're doing
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: the whole, you know, doing everything. And a lot of
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: times I wouldn't expect to hear from you. And not
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: only did I hear from you, but you called me
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: like a couple of times. But when you didn't call,
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: just the text that said, hey, I miss my buddy.
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: I mean, you took the time to say, Hey, I
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: miss my buddy. That makes me feel good. And so
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: that is a form of connection instead of just thinking, well,
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: of course your wife's going to want to go and
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: she's going to want to be there. But a lot
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: of times we'll go do our thing. I mean, guys
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: go to, you know, to the hunting lease for the weekend,
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: just shooting back a text and you may not have service.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: I get it, but just leave something on the pillow. Say, Hey,
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: I'm going to miss you. So yeah, I'm having fun. And, but,
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: And it's not like, well, I'd rather be home than here.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: You don't have to go overboard, but it's just simply saying, hey,
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: you know what? I'm thinking about you.
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: So those are the things that we're talking about. And
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: I just challenge you. So for good teeth hygiene, I mean,
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: just for crying out loud, nobody, I don't think most
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: people listening. are just not going to brush their teeth. Right.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: Do you brush your teeth all day?
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: No.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: You've got a habit where you do it in the morning.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: You do it before you go to bed. That's most people.
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: Great point.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: And you may floss while you're watching Netflix, okay? You've
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: got your little tooth thing. You've had some popcorn. You
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: get out your little toothpicks. Okay.
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: Guess what? For good teeth hygiene, it doesn't take all
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: day long. It takes a few intentional minutes that you've
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: baked in as habits in your life.
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: Simple daily habits. And so if you, if you think
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: about that, like just little, I love how you compared
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: it to brushing your teeth. I doubt people go without
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: brushing their teeth or, you know, go without. Why?
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: Because it's important to them.
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Or, you know, taking a shower every day or, Girls,
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: you know, wash their hair once a week like I
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: do or every other day or whatever. And you kind
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: of plan everything around it. Like, good grief. We build
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: in time for things that are important to us. And
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: so we've just lost focus. That's all it is. It's
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: we get used to each other. You know, you live
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: in the same house. You're just you kind of an
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: episode we did a few weeks ago was becoming roommates
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: instead of lovers or something like that. And so, you know,
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: you've just kind of, they just become wallpaper and like yada,
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: yada there, you know, there he is. Yes. I love him,
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: but I don't really, you know, it's my kids that
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: are like asking for attention or, you know, whatever, but it's, it's,
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: I hope that you hear this podcast today and go, wow. Okay. Wow. Okay.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: I'm awake. I get it. Yes. I have not really
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: thought about my spouse being important in a while. And
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: it's not reserved for once a week or, you know,
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: when you do a, you know, weekend to remember, like
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: a marriage retreat once a year, whatever. If you, it's
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: small little things that seem totally insignificant that build up
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: to a relationship. And so if you think that that
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: sounds like, wow, that's going in a positive direction, if
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: we want to look at it going the other direction,
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: you just chip away and you spend your day with your,
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: on your kids, on yourself, on your work, on your friends,
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: on your pets, whatever it is, uh, on your workout,
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: you know, regimen and leave your spouse, you know, they're
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: left out. Lucy, like he's fine. He's a big boy.
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: He's fine. I don't, he doesn't need, he takes care
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: of himself. You know, I make him dinner. I'm not that,
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: that's not what we're talking about. But if you were
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: to just go, just in the wrong direction of just
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: neglecting your spouse, not paying attention to them, not building
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: in these moments every day. Guess what? We see this
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: all the time with couples where the kids are, you know, 17, 18,
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: 19 years old, all leaving the house to, you know,
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: leave you empty nesters. And you look at each other like, uh-oh.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: We haven't invested in us in a very long time.
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: And now we don't even know each other anymore. Yeah.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: Think about when you're about to go, let's say, to
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: a party or any social function. How many times or
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: how much time do men or women, I think women
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: maybe think about it a little longer, what they're going
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: to wear, what they're going to look like, what kind
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: of makeup, how they're going to do their hair, and
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: possibly what is someone going to think about me? You're
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: literally giving mental energy to what is someone else going
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: to think about me? People that you don't spend any
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: time with maybe and sometimes don't really care that much about.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: And that one person in your life, your spouse, think
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: about how much time you've spent, not about impressing them
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: or dressing nicely for them, not that, but what are
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: they thinking about you right now? What impressions do they
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: have of you? We've talked about for, you know, there's
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: failure to thrive if you don't get touched when you're
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: an infant, you know, you don't survive and we all
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: need physical touch. But for men, even the just not
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: the number two need of men. We're not talking about sex.
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: We're talking about touch. When a woman comes and touches
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: a man physiologically, they say it's so much more than
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: you think. Like the cortisol decreases, the stress hormone, you know,
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: your blood pressure lowers, your oxytocin, a 22nd hug, right,
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: releases oxytocin. So the bonding chemical. And it's so, and
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: obviously women, they love to be touched as well and
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: not the touch that's a grope or wanting something more
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: than just non-sexual affection. But it's so important. And we just,
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: sometimes we don't do that.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: And to be intentional with that is just like being
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: intentional by saying, hey, I miss my buddy.
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: To just say, you know what, I'm going to walk up.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: And so our brains are like Velcro when it comes
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: to negativity. And they're like Teflon when it comes to positivity.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: So it takes a second, a nanosecond for something negative.
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: So think how many negative maybe jabs or criticisms or
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: something you may throw out to your spouse or just
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: some negative energy.
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: It may not be a criticism. Maybe you're just upset
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: or mad or just kind of just venting or whatever.
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: But it takes 15 seconds for a positive thought to
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: imprint on your brain. So if you think about that,
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: how about walking up to your spouse, putting your hands
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: on their shoulder, looking them in the eye for 15
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: seconds and say, hey, I sure appreciate you. I really
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: love you. 15 seconds. And I mean, again, exclamation point,
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: yellow highlighter. Taking small, small amounts of time to make
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: those deposits in the old quote love bank, right, will
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: cover a multitude of overwhelmed, not enough timeness in your marriage.
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: So for instance, I'll say from last night and then today,
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: when you bring this up, I'm thinking, wow, several times
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: you've said, babe, I'm really proud of you. You killed
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: it with Evergreen. I love seeing the pictures, hearing the stories.
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: Thanks for your investment in doing that, which it was
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: your investment. You're like, I'll let you go for the
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: weekend and just go do your thing. And not just
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: the weekend, like it takes a long time leading up
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: to it. And you know, the cleanup after and all that.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't have any fun playing guitar and poker
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: and watching football all day.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: You're just super, you know, you could be saying that.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: I think that's the thing. There are many times that
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: we are thinking positive sentiments about our spouse, you know,
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: and we just don't say it. And so you think, oh, well,
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: they just, you know, by osmosis grabbed that. But for
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: you to actually say, I'm really proud of you or,
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: saying you must be so tired from all that you
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: gave this weekend or whatever. That made me feel so
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: seen and so appreciated. And then this morning when our
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: coffee was brewing and you just kind of grabbed me
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: and hugged me and I was like, you feel really
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: tall because you had your shoes on and I was
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: barefoot or whatever. But I mean, you are quite a
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: bit taller than me. But just in that moment, just
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: that quick hug while we were waiting for our coffee
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: to brew. Yeah. meant the world to me. It only
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: took a second, but I feel very seen and valued
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: by you, very encouraged. So thank you for that. And
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: just an example, it did not take a lot of time,
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: but you said what was in your head and your
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: heart to me.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: And you know, I mean, so we don't have ankle
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: biters around, but we were just joking earlier about how
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: many times we've heard with our grandkids, Papa, George, instead of,
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: Hold me. It's hold you. But it's hoshu. Hoshu. She's
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: got her arms up. Hoshu, hoshu. So I pick up Georgia.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: And you may think, well, man, I'm taking care of kids.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: I'm feeding them mac and cheese. And I've got this
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: one over here trying to break something. Hey, pick up
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: that grandkid and walk over to your spouse or your child,
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: your three-year-old. Pick them up and hold them in one
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: arm and go put your other arm around your spouse
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: and give them a kiss on the forehead. And you
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: watch the face of your kid. Mm-hmm. the delight in
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: their eyes when they see. They feel safe. They feel love.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: I see that little grin on Georgia's face when I
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: walk over. I've got her in my arm and I
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: come over and just love on you. Go, love on
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: Mimi and just kiss you on the cheek. She just
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: loves that. So that's, I mean, so no excuses. That's
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: what I'm saying.
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: No excuses. And you may think, well, our kids have
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: a good life. You know, we don't fight. Like they see,
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: they've got two parents. They don't see us fighting a
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: lot or whatever.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: We don't fight? Or you're saying you're speaking for these parents.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: We don't fight.
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: No, no. I'm speaking for other people that may be saying. Hey, well,
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: we fight. No, no. They may be saying. Yeah, I
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: got you.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: I'm kidding.
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: Our kids are being raised in a great home.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we don't fight.
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: We're together. But just like you said about Georgia, anytime
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: they feel or see their parents fighting, intentionally loving each other,
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: a hug or a road or a card or flowers like,
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: Oh dad, you know, look what, look what your dad
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: brought me, you know, thank you, honey, or whatever they,
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: that instantly just makes them feel so safe, so secure.
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: So you may feel like, well, yeah, that we're giving
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: them that. But if you really think back, what did they,
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: what are they watching you do? Yeah. And I think
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: you would be amazed at how, just letting them watch
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: you do little, like say these, you know, small little
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: moments or, or, Hey, I need you to stay in
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: your bed. Cause my, this is mommy and daddy time.
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: We're going outside. We're going to catch up and visit.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: Cause we love to be together and we haven't gotten
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: to do that today.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: So you stay in your bed.
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: We're going outside.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: Or just, Hey, not right now. You know, the interruptions,
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: the constant interruptions sometimes, Hey, not right now. Mom's listening
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: to dad. Hey, not right now. Daddy's, listening i he's
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: i'm i'm telling your dad something right now and they
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: will respect that they get oh okay this is important
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: and the universe does not revolve around me mom and
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: dad take priority over us so yeah that's that's that's
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: good um and and then when you can include like
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: i said the kids when it's appropriate include them in
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: uh some of the bids for connection because they see
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: uh hey, this is, it's their home. It's like my
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: home is a place. Somebody said the best gift a
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: dad can give his son or daughter is to love
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: their mother well. Well, why? Because the security and safety
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: of the home, it's like, wow, mom and dad, they're
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: not going anywhere. I remember when we used to start
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: arguing and our kids were little, the time where the
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: kids would come over and take mom's hand and bring
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: her over to daddy's hand and they would join our
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: hands together. Like, Hey, we all please knock it off.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: And we all please come together because it's a threat
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: to them to see us arguing.
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: So I think we make it a really, like it's
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: this huge monumental, huge dramatic shift. And so you just
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: want to throw in the towel and go, I, you
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: know what, we're going to go ahead and get past
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: these six years or these, 17 years, and then I'll
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: start tending to him again. Think about the way that
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: you tend to your pets, your dogs or your cats.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: Think about how you tend to your plants. We talked
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: about that, Summit Evergreen. Sometimes I'm so horrible with our
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: plants because I wait until they're sad. So Ruru would say, Mimi,
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: the plants are sad, which means they're just completely shriveled up.
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: not having one bit of water. And I just go
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: douse them with water, just like a fire hose. And
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: I'm sure if plants could talk, they would say, could
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: you just please, just a little every day or every
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: other day, and not just wait until I'm about to
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: die before you give me water. And so I think
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: we many times tend to ourselves or our home or
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: our animals or our plants way more than we do
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: our spouse. So I think if we just do those
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: small daily habits, something, if you just make that like,
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: that's your goal this week, what can I do today
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: to tell him I love him, to show him I
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: love him. And it's not some big, huge shift and
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: it's going to feel awkward. If you haven't done it
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: in a while, it may feel kind of awkward, but
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: I think having that conversation, Hey, I, it was just
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: brought to my attention that I probably haven't been showing
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: you much attention and I want that to change. And so,
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: when you see me daily, like reaching out or we,
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: you know, giving you a hug or writing you in,
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: just know, because I'm really, you know, I feel bad.
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry that I haven't paid much attention to you.
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: And I want to do better in this, in this area.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: A lot of times when we're talking to couples, they
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: talk about, we don't have, we just don't have time.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: And when I listen to their lives, you really can't
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: find any margin. You hear it and you understand it's like, wow, like, something,
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: but what's going to give something's going to give. And
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: so you, you have to dig in the places that
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: maybe you wouldn't look, uh, to find that extra time.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: And I just think it's easy. I mean, obviously we,
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: we all know, man, you just blink. I mean, these old,
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: you know, the grandparents are saying, you just blink and
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: it's gone, you know, they're grown. And so what happened
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: to the time? And we all know that, I mean,
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: to our core, we all know that, but then we,
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: we wake up, you know, when there's the funeral that
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: we're going to and, You watch the video and you think, man,
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: just a year ago, look, they were at the freaking
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: beach together. And there was the diagnosis. And then there
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: was the, just the passing of this. And, but it's
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: easy to defer everything. The, as soon as disease, well,
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: as soon as they're out of diapers, you know, as
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: soon as they're in middle school, as soon as they're
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: in high school, well, as soon as they go off
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: to college, like you put things off, but man, when
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: it comes to time, there's just, it's all the regret
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: that you see. It's the guy I think we've talked
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: about that said, man, his wife wanted to travel. And
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: she said it all the time. It's like, you know what? We,
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: we will, we will. And then all of a sudden
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: diagnosis and she's gone and now he's got all this
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: money and he's in his home alone and he's saying,
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: dang it, why didn't we travel?
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: So it's like, do the thing, like do the thing now.
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: And like I said, the funerals get our attention, you know,
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: watching the, the videos and the posts about how many
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: summers you have, you know, 18 summers, right? Or whatever
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: you have and your kids grown and gone. I remember
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: so weird when the kids, you know, all the football games,
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: all the basketball games, even baseball for a little bit, soccer, volleyball,
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: we had all that. And then the school programs and
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: going to senior day or whatever, the rose ceremony and
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: the senior walkout. When the last one graduated, I just
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: remember going, dude, that's all over. And I don't remember
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: thinking this is my last school assembly or this is
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: my last sports banquet or this is the last time
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: we're going to be on this football field. I mean, yeah,
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: if you're at Jerry World and you're playing for state,
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: maybe it gets your attention, you know, and your kid's
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: a senior and he's about to go off to university.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: But I just remember it's this weird feeling I had like, Wait,
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: there's always been something next. There's always something next. And
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: when it comes to raising kids, all of a sudden
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: I thought there was no dress rehearsal. Like this was it.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: I just felt like literally that was the thought I had.
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: I felt like this was just like a dress rehearsal.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: Like there's got to be something that this is all
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: leading to. And it's like there was no dress rehearsal.
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: That was the show, man. And if you're not careful,
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: you missed the show.
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: And so that you don't have time. We don't have time.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: Don't have time for what? I mean, so, and sometimes
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: when you look at, when I said this couple, we
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: were like, I mean, shoot, all of us, sometimes we
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: just have no margin. It's like, where are we going
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: to find this time? It's, I just remember telling this
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: one couple recently, man, the life that you're living right now,
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: like it's not sustainable. Like, can you do this for
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: another year? Could you do this for another five years? Like,
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: if you look at it, like, Dude, there won't be
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: a marriage. And so you have to really make some
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: tough evaluations. Like, is the way we're going healthy, sustainable?
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: Can we keep doing it and have any kind of
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: relationship at all? Yeah. So it's that ruthless inventory.
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: And I think you said it before. We all have intentions.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: We appreciate our spouse, but sometimes we just don't say it.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: We also have good intentions, again, that we're going to
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: right this train. We're going to right the priority train.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: And you know what? We're just in a busy season,
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: which can be true at times. Mm-hmm. But so many
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: times that little writing of the ship, the mid-course correction
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: never comes.
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: Because we're just letting life do it. So sometimes it's saying, okay,
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: if I think what are my priorities, like what do
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: I value in my life? And make a list. Here's one, two, three, four,
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: top four, top five. And then not, well, do I
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: believe that? Because most of us would go, well, yeah,
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: I just made the list. That's what I believe my
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: values are. But now look at your calendar. and look
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: at your time spent and do they match? Does the
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: time spent, are they allocated number one, the top percentage
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: to number one, the second percentage to number two, the
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: third percentage to number three. And if they don't, you
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: need to make sure you can align those and make
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: the adjustments.
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah. That's good. So what's I just really quick. I
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: was going to say there, there may be some couples
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: or some people that are listening that, that when they
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: really start thinking about this and they're really honest with themselves,
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: they think, well, I don't make a bid for connection
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: because I don't really want to spend time with him
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: or her. They've hurt me. I feel resentful. They make
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: me feel bad. They're mean or whatever it is. We
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: had that argument and because of our crazy schedule, we
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: just had to button it up and just push it
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: down and not deal with it. And so that's just
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: left us with this wall of resentment. And so if
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: that comes up for you after you hear this podcast episode,
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: there may be some bigger fish to fry before you
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: just spend time together. There's probably a reason why you
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: don't realize you're doing it. But if you don't feel
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: safe around somebody or you feel hurt or resentful or bitter,
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: you are going to look for other places to connect.
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: You are going to be like, well, I don't have
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: time for my spouse, but I have time to go
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: out with my friends once a week or every couple
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: of weeks to dinner. Because guess what? Your friends haven't
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: hurt you. You love your friends. Y'all have fun. You laugh.
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: So with your husband or your wife, there may be
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: some things that you... need to tend to before you just,
• 35:01
  Speaker 3: it's not like a magic pill, just start spending time together.
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: There may be some issues that you need to deal
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: with before you get to the place where you really
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: enjoy and appreciate your spouse. So call Long Haul Marriage
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: and we will help you.
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: So the 15 minute rule is going to be our
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: challenge for the week. Every day for one week.
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: So you're hearing this podcast on a Tuesday, hopefully. I
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: don't know when you're hearing it. But anyway, it comes
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: out every Tuesday at 5 a.m. Just in case you
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: didn't know that. On every major platform, if you're hearing
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: this on... Yeah, anyway. So everybody knows where to find it.
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: Every day for one week, 15 uninterrupted minutes together. 15
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: uninterrupted minutes together. I know that may sound like a
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: previous challenge, but we know you didn't do it. So
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: you're going to try it.
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: No phones.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: No phones. No TV, no household logistics, just connection. Just
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: simple connection.
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: That's good.
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: That's good. We'd love to hear from you if you
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: do it.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: And what does connection start with, baby?
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: It starts with the letter what?
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: See ya.
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: See ya.
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: Y'all have a great week.