Latest / Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing / #133| Why Perimenopause & Menopause Is Making You Feel Even MORE Overwhelmed—And the Self-Care Shift You Can't Ignore To Find Instant Relief
Transcript
- 0:00Michelle Gauthier: Menopause affects our entire body sleep, memory, mood, metabolism and so many women just try to push through like nothing's happening.
- 0:08Michelle Gauthier: You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less.
- 0:20Michelle Gauthier: I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach.
- 0:25Michelle Gauthier: On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences and in each episode, you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease and relaxation to your life.
- 0:37Michelle Gauthier: Hi friend, let me be honest.
- 0:42Michelle Gauthier: I think menopause is having a moment.
- 0:45Michelle Gauthier: I mean, a couple weeks back, Oprah had a primetime special including Holly Berry and Naomi Watts and Mary Claire Haver, who's the biggest doctor on this subject right now, and I am so happy that this is getting the attention that it deserves, because it sucks and perimenopause and menopause are completely overwhelming.
- 1:05Michelle Gauthier: So that is why I have decided to do an episode on this today.
- 1:09Michelle Gauthier: There are so many symptoms.
- 1:11Michelle Gauthier: Some of them are so weird and show up in ways that you don't expect.
- 1:14Michelle Gauthier: Maybe you're just like forgetting words mid sentence, or snapping at everyone for no reason, or waking up at 3am drenched in sweat or just wondering am I losing it?
- 1:22Michelle Gauthier: Am I dying from these heart palpitations?
- 1:25Michelle Gauthier: You're not.
- 1:26Michelle Gauthier: You're not crazy, but you may be navigating one of the biggest biological and emotional shifts of your life, and no one gave you a handbook.
- 1:34Michelle Gauthier: Now I think the good news is our daughters will have the handbook, but we, we did not have the handbook, and certainly our mothers and grandmothers did not.
- 1:42Michelle Gauthier: So this is what I want to talk to you about today, and if you're not in perimenopause or menopause or even close, maybe you've got something else going on physically.
- 1:52Michelle Gauthier: Maybe you're just exhausted because you're knee deep in toddler chaos, or you're just feeling off or having stomach aches or headaches or some other kind of illness.
- 2:03Michelle Gauthier: This episode will help you too.
- 2:05Michelle Gauthier: This is all about how we care for ourselves when we're in a season of overwhelm, especially when it's something physical.
- 2:12Michelle Gauthier: When you listen to this episode today, you're going to learn a couple things.
- 2:15Michelle Gauthier: Number one is how to tune into your body and really pay attention to what's going on.
- 2:21Michelle Gauthier: Number two is how to optimize the way that you're thinking about it, instead of having negative thoughts about perimenopause or whatever is going on with you, to switch your thoughts so that you can get to the third step, which is taking action to make yourself feel better.
- 2:37Michelle Gauthier: So by the end of the episode, you'll know how to have the good clarity of mind to take care of yourself no matter what's going on with you.
- 2:51Michelle Gauthier: But before I jump into that, we are in the month of celebrating Overwhelmed Working Woman's second birthday.
- 2:54Michelle Gauthier: She's a toddler and one of the things that I'm asking of you this month is reviews.
- 2:58Michelle Gauthier: So if you listen to this podcast regularly and have not left a review, or if this is your first episode and you really like it, would you please leave a rating and review?
- 3:08Michelle Gauthier: Just the other day, I got a message from someone on Instagram who was a new podcast listener and I asked her how she heard about the podcast and she said she was just listening to the podcast she normally listens to and it popped up as a suggestion.
- 3:21Michelle Gauthier: That is a perfect example of what happens when we have a lot of listeners and a lot of reviews that it gets suggested to people, and that makes me so happy, because my goal is to help all the women feel less overwhelmed, less stressed, so that they can enjoy their beautiful lives more.
- 3:41Michelle Gauthier: All right, now let's get back to menopause and perimenopause.
- 3:44Michelle Gauthier: I can think about this moment.
- 3:46Michelle Gauthier: It was like two summers ago and I was sitting in a restaurant with the handsome man friend.
- 3:50Michelle Gauthier: It was summertime and we were getting ready to go on a trip.
- 3:53Michelle Gauthier: We were flying out that night and the air conditioning was on in there and I was like Are you hot in here?
- 3:59Michelle Gauthier: He's like no, I mean no, I'm totally fine.
- 4:03Michelle Gauthier: And I literally felt like the heat was coming from inside me, like it was coming out of my pores.
- 4:09Michelle Gauthier: I don't know if anyone's seen this, but lately I've been seeing this meme of this woman and she's got a bald head and she's having a hot flash, like sitting at a football game in the fall when it's cold outside, and she's literally steaming.
- 4:21Michelle Gauthier: And that is how I felt like there is's got to be steam coming off of my body.
- 4:27Michelle Gauthier: And I was forgetting things like.
- 4:28Michelle Gauthier: I am not a forgetful person.
- 4:30Michelle Gauthier: If you know me personally.
- 4:31Michelle Gauthier: People know and say to me all the time oh my gosh, you have a such a good memory.
- 4:35Michelle Gauthier: I can't believe you remembered that I was just totally forgetting things, obvious things, like, for example, I planned two trips on the same weekend and never put together that I had already planned one Stuff.
- 4:46Michelle Gauthier: That is just not like me.
- 4:48Michelle Gauthier: And then, despite eating healthy and working out, I was like gaining fat in my belly, which is what happens when you're low on estrogen, and then sometimes, like just recently, I had cramps, for I think it was 24 days in a row.
- 5:04Michelle Gauthier: I mean, weird stuff happens and I guess the list of symptoms is actually like 60 things Like if your ears itch, it could be menopause or perimenopause.
- 5:15Michelle Gauthier: So it's so many things and you just feel so mentally off that it's really hard to figure out what to do next.
- 5:23Michelle Gauthier: So let's talk about the first thing to do If you're feeling physically off, if you're exhausted.
- 5:30Michelle Gauthier: That was the other thing.
- 5:31Michelle Gauthier: Sometimes I would be so exhausted I felt like I couldn't even sit up.
- 5:35Michelle Gauthier: I was so tired.
- 5:36Michelle Gauthier: So if you're feeling exhausted or foggy or moody or like a stranger in your own skin, you're looking at your body.
- 5:41Michelle Gauthier: Like what is going on here?
- 5:43Michelle Gauthier: It's not weakness or anything, it's just a hormones menopause affects our entire body sleep, memory, mood, metabolism and so many women just try to push through like nothing's happening.
- 5:56Michelle Gauthier: Me, me, I was the person who was trying to push through like nothing was happening, and what I was thinking is I had heard that, like menopause, was optional, meaning some people just don't really feel that many effects from it.
- 6:08Michelle Gauthier: I really hope that's true and I really hope that's you.
- 6:10Michelle Gauthier: But that was not me, but I decided it was going to be.
- 6:13Michelle Gauthier: So I was like this is fine, it's just, it's going to be short lived.
- 6:17Michelle Gauthier: This is not that big of a deal, but in trying to push through, I think I just made it worse.
- 6:23Michelle Gauthier: So remember that you can't solve what you won't see.
- 6:29Michelle Gauthier: So the first thing to do is notice and name what's going on and tune into it.
- 6:33Michelle Gauthier: So where am I feeling tension?
- 6:36Michelle Gauthier: When do I feel like it's 1000 degrees?
- 6:39Michelle Gauthier: What's up with my sleep and my hunger and my energy and my stomach aches and what is my body trying to tell me that I keep ignoring?
- 6:47Michelle Gauthier: For me, it was helpful to just start writing stuff down, because you, first of all, literally forget and, second of all, there's so much weird stuff that it's almost hard to keep track of what is going on.
- 7:00Michelle Gauthier: So, after you're able to just admit to yourself that something is up, something is different, I think a lot of times women don't want to admit that they are going through this, because it means that they're old, right, and everybody's always so worried about getting old so it's like, no, I'm too young for that.
- 7:16Michelle Gauthier: That can't really be me.
- 7:18Michelle Gauthier: So instead of just trying to deny it, just embrace it.
- 7:22Michelle Gauthier: Jot down what's going on with you.
- 7:24Michelle Gauthier: Talk to your friends about it.
- 7:26Michelle Gauthier: Just embrace it.
- 7:26Michelle Gauthier: Jot down what's going on with you, talk to your friends about it, see if anybody else is feeling the same way this is a major topic of conversation among my friend groups at the moment and keep track of what's going on in your body.
- 7:36Michelle Gauthier: Once you realize what's going on in your body, then it's time to talk about mindset.
- 7:42Michelle Gauthier: You guys know from listening to the podcast that the way that we feel is always created by our own thoughts.
- 7:48Michelle Gauthier: So if you have a thought like I'm falling apart, I should be able to handle this.
- 7:54Michelle Gauthier: What's wrong with me?
- 7:55Michelle Gauthier: Oh my gosh, I'm getting so old, I'm disgusting.
- 7:59Michelle Gauthier: Something is wrong with my body.
- 8:00Michelle Gauthier: Okay, whatever it is, it's going to create feelings of like shame and anxiety and self-doubt.
- 8:07Michelle Gauthier: And then when you feel that, what always happens when you feel shame especially, is you kind of hide.
- 8:13Michelle Gauthier: You hide how you're feeling.
- 8:15Michelle Gauthier: Sometimes you can spiral, but don't tell anybody about it.
- 8:18Michelle Gauthier: You isolate yourself and you just make yourself feel worse.
- 8:22Michelle Gauthier: So already you're physically feeling bad, and then your thoughts can make you feel even worse about it.
- 8:29Michelle Gauthier: Instead, let's come up with a thought that also feels true but will get you into inspired action, trying to figure out what you actually need or want to do about this problem.
- 8:40Michelle Gauthier: How about trying on?
- 8:42Michelle Gauthier: A thought like this is a phase.
- 8:44Michelle Gauthier: This is a phase that all women go through.
- 8:47Michelle Gauthier: This is completely normal.
- 8:49Michelle Gauthier: I need more care right now, not to put more pressure on myself.
- 8:54Michelle Gauthier: I'm a person who can figure things out.
- 8:56Michelle Gauthier: I need to figure out what's going on with my body.
- 8:59Michelle Gauthier: Any of those thoughts would be great replacements for I'm falling apart, or I be able to handle this, or I'm so old, or my body is disgusting, or any of the thoughts that your brain might offer to you.
- 9:11Michelle Gauthier: Once you've got a list of your symptoms and you kind of know what's going on, then you tune into your brain and you shift into a thought that helps you be more proactive about the whole thing.
- 9:22Michelle Gauthier: The third part is to take action.
- 9:24Michelle Gauthier: Now that you're tuned into your body and tuned into your thoughts and you have created a better thought than something is wrong with me, then you can shift into taking empowered, intentional action, even if that's small.
- 9:37Michelle Gauthier: So the things that you could do are booking a doctor's appointment to talk about your hormone shifts or symptoms.
- 9:44Michelle Gauthier: I would totally recommend educating yourself.
- 9:47Michelle Gauthier: Mary Claire Haver's book the New Menopause is really good.
- 9:50Michelle Gauthier: That Oprah special was really good.
- 9:52Michelle Gauthier: Holly Berry has a community that she has created.
- 9:56Michelle Gauthier: Naomi Watts has a new book coming out about it, and I will link all of those things I just mentioned in the show notes.
- 10:01Michelle Gauthier: So luckily for us now there is so much that you can read.
- 10:06Michelle Gauthier: You can ask for help from your partner, your boss, your kids, and not apologize for it.
- 10:13Michelle Gauthier: This is the reason why the handsome man friend has a sleeping cardigan that he sleeps in at my house and he has extra blankets and he's freezing cold and I am not freezing cold and I have the window open I'm not even joking even when it's 30 degrees inside.
- 10:28Michelle Gauthier: God bless him.
- 10:28Michelle Gauthier: But see, I just told them that I cannot.
- 10:31Michelle Gauthier: I mean I just couldn't possibly sleep unless it was really cold in the house.
- 10:35Michelle Gauthier: It's also really helpful, especially if you're feeling shame or isolation, to talk to a friend or a counselor or a coach or somebody and just tell them how you're feeling.
- 10:47Michelle Gauthier: I think talking among your friend groups this is a big conversation among my friend groups right now is just so validating because you really realize that you are not alone.
- 10:58Michelle Gauthier: For generations, women had to just suffer in silence like nobody talked about this, and I'm thinking about when they didn't have access to anything, even the knowledge about what was going on in their body, and all of a sudden you hit a certain age and you just feel absolutely miserable and there's just nothing to do about it.
- 11:14Michelle Gauthier: We're so lucky to have this information, to have hormones and other medications available that we can take to make ourselves feel better as we transition, and by the one of the things that they said a bunch of times on the Oprah special and is also what Mary Claire Haver, the doctor, says all the time is that I've never felt better once people actually get into menopause.
- 11:35Michelle Gauthier: I think that's encouraging too, that this is a transition, kind of like puberty.
- 11:40Michelle Gauthier: It's a transition into a different phase of life and once you get there, it's actually quite good.
- 11:46Michelle Gauthier: We just need to take care of paying attention to our body, paying attention to our thoughts, creating our community, finding the right doctor and doing all the right things for ourselves as we transition.
- 12:00Michelle Gauthier: So, in summary, perimenopause and menopause are real and they can feel overwhelming and they can feel really powerful, but it doesn't have to break you.
- 12:09Michelle Gauthier: Your thoughts will shape how you move through this transition and you are always in charge.
- 12:14Michelle Gauthier: You're not in charge of the thoughts that pop in your head, but you can come up with new ones and you can think them on purpose.
- 12:19Michelle Gauthier: You are also in charge of if you talk to other people about it or not, so that you don't feel alone, and then taking small, intentional actions so that you can find the clarity that you need so that you can feel better.
- 12:33Michelle Gauthier: Here's my do less for more success tip for today.
- 12:37Michelle Gauthier: When we allow our brain to go down the rabbit hole and spiral out, we can waste so much time worrying about something that hasn't even happened yet.
- 12:49Michelle Gauthier: So my challenge for you today and my suggestion for how you can save a lot of time is to notice when you're doing that.
- 12:58Michelle Gauthier: Notice when your brain is going 15 steps in the direction of something bad happening and just stop and ask yourself what information do I have right now and what do I know for sure?
- 13:07Michelle Gauthier: Bring yourself back to the present moment.
- 13:10Michelle Gauthier: If you can do that, and you can cut off all that thinking time and worrying time, you will save yourself so much time and you will feel so much better.
- 13:19Michelle Gauthier: Okay, that is a wrap for today.
- 13:24Michelle Gauthier: If this episode gave you language for what you have been feeling or made you feel, seen and heard, why don't you share it with somebody else who might be silently struggling or not so silently struggling, and remind her that she's not alone, and neither are you.
- 13:40Michelle Gauthier: We're all in this together.
- 13:41Michelle Gauthier: If you love this podcast and you love this episode, would you please leave a rating and review?
- 13:48Michelle Gauthier: Like I said at the beginning of the podcast, it makes such a difference as to where it gets shown and how other people are able to see the podcast.
- 13:56Michelle Gauthier: It would mean a lot to me if you would take a second and do that.
- 13:58Michelle Gauthier: Thank you so much and have a great week.
- 14:00Michelle Gauthier: Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed podcast.
- 14:12Michelle Gauthier: If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegauthiercom.
- 14:15Michelle Gauthier: See you next week.