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Why Your Ex Is More Confused Than You Think · The Art of Love With Lucia

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  If you've been struggling with no contact today I'm going to be
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  talking about something that might just give you a little
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  piece of mind. Your ex is way more confused
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  than you think. That's right, If you've been
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  sitting there wondering, do they miss me?
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  Are they regretting their decision?
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  Chances are they're actually struggling way more than they're
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  letting on. So stick around because by the
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  end of the video you'll see why you might actually be in the
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  stronger position. Hi, this is Lucia with the Art
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  of Love. I'm a dating and relationship
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  expert specializing in helping you get your ex back or to get
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  over your ex. And welcome back my beautiful no
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  contact army. I have a promotion going on and
• 0:45
  that is with my app Silencio. If you've downloaded it or if
• 0:50
  you download it and you leave it, review, not a rating, a
• 0:54
  review in either the App Store or the Google Play Store, and
• 0:59
  then you send me a screenshot with that review.
• 1:02
  In return, I will give you a free copy of my book, No Contact
• 1:08
  Secrets, which you can find out about at nonocontactsecrets.com.
• 1:14
  It's over 170 pages, so it's not just a little pamphlet.
• 1:18
  And you can send that screenshot to me via my website
• 1:21
  theartoflove.net. And if you 2 would like to join
• 1:24
  our army, all you have to do is hit the subscribe button and the
• 1:29
  bell notification and you're in. OK, so let's get started.
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  So breakups are messy. And even if your X was the one
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  to end things, that doesn't mean they're 100% sure.
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  And here's why we have the Grass is greener syndrome.
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  A lot of jumpers think that breaking up will magically solve
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  the problems in the relationship.
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  But once reality hits loneliness, dating apps or just
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  missing you, they're going to start second guessing
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  themselves, which of course, is great news for you.
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  They're also going to be wrestling with pride.
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  Even if they miss you, admitting that they made a mistake feels
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  like a blow to their ego, so instead they'll act cold or
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  indifferent to cover up their confusion.
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  And This is why you can't respond to bread crumbs,
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  thinking that they're using the bread crumbs as a way to get
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  back with you. Most of the time they just want
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  to see if they have access to you.
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  People hate changing their minds once they decide to break up
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  with someone, but if they're having second thoughts and they
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  start to miss you, the missing you will usually went out over
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  the pride of not wanting to change their mind.
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  So again, more good news. It's all good news today.
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  And then also, emotions lag behind actions.
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  So just because someone says they're done, it doesn't mean
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  their feelings shut off overnight.
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  Their brain might be saying move on, but their heart's still
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  catching up. Now remember that they didn't
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  start dating you or marry you just to eventually dump you.
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  That was never part of the plan, at least not if they're mentally
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  healthy. So they've been struggling with
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  this decision for a while. And even when they do finally
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  pull the trigger and break up with you, they're still a part
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  of them that's not sure that they're making the right
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  decision. But they were at least 51% sure
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  as I've said many times before, otherwise they would not have
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  broken up with you. So they're going through their
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  own emotional turmoil even if it's not showing.
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  And they most likely don't have a grand plan as to what they're
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  going to do after the breakup. They just know they didn't want
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  to be with you anymore. They'll also be confused if you
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  go into no contact and stay there.
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  Most jumpers assume the dumpy is going to resist or chase them
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  after the breakup, especially if you were anxious in the
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  relationship. So when you start to behave the
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  total opposite of what they expected, they'll be confused.
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  They'll wonder what's going on. Perhaps you weren't as into them
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  as they thought you were. Maybe you had someone else on
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  the side. Maybe they've been replaced.
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  Why aren't you chasing them like they expected you to?
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  And all these question marks become a hook that hooks them
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  back into thinking about you and wondering if they made the right
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  decision. You're now unpredictable, and
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  unpredictability is actually attractive.
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  You're mysterious, and mystery is attractive.
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  Now, confusion on the part of your ex often looks like
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  rejection. If they're still rejecting you
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  or giving you hot and cold signals, it's because they're
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  confused. They're still going to act like
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  they don't want to get back together, but because you're
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  looking for any little glimmer of hope, you think that just
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  because they're sometimes coming in hot that they want to get
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  back together. But then the next day they go
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  back to being cold and your hopes are dashed.
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  And This is why we wait for them to say something significant.
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  Now, what are some other signs that they're secretly unsure?
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  So I just mentioned the hot and cold.
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  One day they're texting you, hey stranger, and then the next day
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  they're ghosting. So mixed signals equal equals
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  mental chaos. The social media games.
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  So posting sad songs, old memories, watching your
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  Instagram story at 2:00 AM or suddenly liking your pictures.
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  They're trying to get your attention without admitting that
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  they want it or asking mutual friends about you.
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  If they're just curious how you're doing, yeah, they're not
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  over it. So the bottom line is, if
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  they're acting weird, it's because they feel weird.
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  And here's the best part. Their confusion means that you
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  have the upper hand. If you play it cool.
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  Silence speaks louder than words.
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  The more you chase, the more certain they'll feel.
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  But if you focus on you, that's when the doubt creeps in for
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  them. Once they're out of the relief
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  stage that I talked about in my video titled I believe it was 7
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  stages Dumpers go through and I'll put the link in the upper
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  right hand corner on YouTube. They have to face the
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  consequences of their actions. They thought they'd feel better
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  after the breakup, but that's not always the outcome.
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  That's when they start to doubt their decision.
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  But this can only happen if you have been in no contact.
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  So when they're confused, they're going to wonder if they
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  can get you back in case they made a mistake.
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  That's when the bread crumbing starts.
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  If you respond to the bread crumbs, they're now sure that
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  you're still there and they will no longer be confused.
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  One of my clients, her ex, kept bread crumbing her and with my
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  help she ignored the bread crumbs.
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  Unfortunately, she answered the phone when he called not knowing
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  it was him and then she went on to make another mistake of being
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  on the phone with him for a long time.
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  Did he say he wanted to get back together at the end of the call?
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  No, now he's no longer confused and she feels worse than ever.
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  Not responding to his bread crumbs was working, but talking
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  to him on the phone gave him all the reassurance he needed to
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  know that she was still there waiting for him.
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  So do not give that reinsure reassurance.
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  Make sure they stay in confusion land until they're ready to get
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  back together and they'll respect you more.
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  Because nothing messes with Annex's head like seeing you
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  thrive. Because it forces them to
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  wonder, did I mess up? So level up and boss up and take
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  this time and no contact to work on yourself and go after your
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  dreams. Your energy is always better
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  spent on you instead of decoding their mixed signals, but either
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  way, you win. How, you might ask?
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  Well, if they come back, great. But now you're in control.
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  You've shown them that they can break up with you and you're not
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  going to fall apart and chase them.
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  If anything, you're going to survive and thrive, and if they
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  don't come back, well, you've already moved on to bigger and
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  better things. You know, at the end of the day,
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  breakups are tough. But knowing that your ex is
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  probably just as confused, if not more than you are, that's
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  great news. So if you've been depressed,
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  cheer up Now I want to hear from you.
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  Have you noticed your ex acting unsure?
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  What have they done? Leave a comment below and if
• 9:18
  this video or podcast help you, give it a thumbs up and share it
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  with someone who needs to hear it.
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  And if you would like my help to get your ex back, you can
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  contact me at theartoflove.net/coaching and we
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  will send you the rates. They are not on the website.
• 9:36
  If you're listening to this as a podcast and you want to help the
• 9:39
  show, then just download this episode.
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  And finally, remember, love inspires, empowers, upliffs and
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  enlightens.