Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Classic British Vacation
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: It's time for your prank call. It's Brooke and Jeffrey
- 0:01Speaker 1: in the morning. And this one, I have a fun
- 0:04Speaker 1: challenge for.
- 0:05Speaker 2: Our listeners where you take a shot, pound a natty,
- 0:09Speaker 2: or polish off your mimosa every time you hear this
- 0:12Speaker 2: woman say, why are you calling me?
- 0:15Speaker 1: Oh, God.
- 0:16Speaker 3: Sounds like we're going to be drunk by the end, Jeff.
- 0:18Speaker 1: That's right. We're turning this prank call into a fun
- 0:20Speaker 1: drinking game.
- 0:21Speaker 2: So grab that coffee or tequila and get ready to
- 0:25Speaker 2: chug whatever's in your hand. as you hear me do
- 0:27Speaker 2: my absolute worst British accent in your phone tap right now.
- 0:31Speaker 4: Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s. Hello?
- 0:37Speaker 1: Hi there. I'm calling from British Airways customer care. My
- 0:40Speaker 1: name is Dutch. Is this May f * * * ing?
- 0:44Speaker 3: This is she. May I ask why you're calling?
- 0:46Speaker 5: Hi.
- 0:47Speaker 1: May I have another, May?
- 0:50Speaker 3: Excuse me?
- 0:51Speaker 1: You get it?
- 0:52Speaker 5: It's a bit of a wordplay on your name, May.
- 0:56Speaker 1: May, I have another.
- 0:58Speaker 3: Okay.
- 0:58Speaker 1: It's funny because they don't have a lot of Mays
- 1:00Speaker 1: over here.
- 1:01Speaker 3: Okay.
- 1:02Speaker 1: In Britain, where I'm calling from.
- 1:03Speaker 3: May, ask why you're calling.
- 1:05Speaker 1: Gosh, I'm just having a laugh with you, May. What happened?
- 1:08Speaker 1: Americans are so rigid with their humor.
- 1:10Speaker 4: I just would like to know why you're calling.
- 1:14Speaker 3: Is something wrong? What company are you with?
- 1:19Speaker 1: I already said I'm with F * * * ing
- 1:20Speaker 1: Shareways and you're not listening.
- 1:22Speaker 4: Okay, is there a problem with my ticket?
- 1:25Speaker 1: No problem. I just see here you purchased tickets to
- 1:28Speaker 1: come and visit us across the pond.
- 1:30Speaker 3: That is correct.
- 1:31Speaker 1: Wonderful.
- 1:32Speaker 4: Why are you calling, though?
- 1:33Speaker 1: Well, I'm just curious. Is it business or pleasure, perhaps?
- 1:39Speaker 3: It's pleasure. Me and my husband are taking a trip
- 1:42Speaker 3: we've never been.
- 1:43Speaker 1: You've never been to London?
- 1:45Speaker 4: No, this will be our first time.
- 1:47Speaker 1: Oh, I see. On the hunt for Harry Potter, are we?
- 1:50Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 1:50Speaker 4: What?
- 1:51Speaker 1: It's just because some yanks believe Dumbledore's knocking about King's Cross,
- 1:56Speaker 1: intending to go visit Hogwarts after a ride on the tube, eh?
- 2:00Speaker 3: That's not what I was thinking at all.
- 2:02Speaker 1: Well, good, because not to burst your bubble, love, but
- 2:04Speaker 1: none of it's real. No forbidden forest, no agrid, no
- 2:09Speaker 1: three-headed dog guarding a chamber of secrets.
- 2:11Speaker 3: Excuse me.
- 2:12Speaker 1: It's a bit disappointing, I know.
- 2:14Speaker 3: I just would like to know why you're calling.
- 2:16Speaker 1: Are you sure you're all right? I've already told you this.
- 2:18Speaker 1: I'm with B * * * * Airways, customer care.
- 2:20Speaker 1: I'm here to care for you, mate.
- 2:23Speaker 4: I did not request a call from customer care.
- 2:27Speaker 3: As far as I know, everything is booked and settled.
- 2:31Speaker 1: Now I see what's happening. You're used to the American
- 2:34Speaker 1: customer care, where they just kick you right in the bollocks.
- 2:37Speaker 1: But over here in London, we actually care about your trip.
- 2:41Speaker 3: I appreciate that. Do you, though? We pretty much have.
- 2:44Speaker 4: Our itinerary down, like what we're doing each day.
- 2:49Speaker 1: Something romantic, perhaps, you're thinking? You think it's going to
- 2:52Speaker 1: be more of a Notting Hill with Hugh Grant?
- 2:55Speaker 3: Okay.
- 2:56Speaker 5: He'll come bumbling around the corner with his shirt half-buttoned
- 2:59Speaker 5: and say, Oh, Mae, is that you?
- 3:01Speaker 1: Oh, my stars, you're absolutely ravishing.
- 3:04Speaker 3: Excuse me, I don't know where this is going. Mae? Mae?
- 3:08Speaker 5: If I may, I'm just trying to help you understand
- 3:11Speaker 5: your expectations.
- 3:13Speaker 1: It's not like you see in the movies.
- 3:15Speaker 4: I don't expect it to be like what it is
- 3:17Speaker 4: in the movies.
- 3:18Speaker 1: Are you sure?
- 3:20Speaker 5: Because in your mind, you're probably picturing Hugh Grant as
- 3:23Speaker 5: a charming prime minister who's in love with the junior
- 3:26Speaker 5: household staffman.
- 3:27Speaker 4: I don't know what you're talking about.
- 3:29Speaker 1: It's love actually. Have you not seen it?
- 3:32Speaker 4: Okay. You really think that all Americans have this idea,
- 3:37Speaker 4: this fantasy that we're going to go over there and
- 3:40Speaker 4: just be immersed in the movies that we've seen and
- 3:44Speaker 4: have the characters walking all around?
- 3:45Speaker 3: Do you think Americans are that dumb?
- 3:47Speaker 1: Love, if I had a quid for every time an
- 3:49Speaker 1: American comes over here and expects to see Pan or
- 3:51Speaker 1: Potter or Perry from Pride and Prejudice, it's just not
- 3:55Speaker 1: in the cards, love. I'm just trying to sort it
- 3:57Speaker 1: out for you.
- 3:58Speaker 5: Well, you're talking to the wrong person.
- 4:00Speaker 4: I'm not expecting this.
- 4:01Speaker 1: All right. Who rattled your cage?
- 4:03Speaker 3: You did!
- 4:05Speaker 4: You did with all this dumb s * * *.
- 4:07Speaker 1: All right, okay.
- 4:09Speaker 5: Maybe you're the only American who actually uses their thinker.
- 4:13Speaker 3: I'll take that compliment, thanks.
- 4:15Speaker 5: And that's why, just for you, I'm going to set
- 4:17Speaker 5: up a private tour to see Ted Lasso, the American
- 4:21Speaker 5: football coach in charge of.
- 4:22Speaker 1: A British soccer team.
- 4:24Speaker 3: That's not real.
- 4:25Speaker 5: Listen to you, spoken like a true American. I tried
- 4:28Speaker 5: to catch you. You unsmarted me, mate.
- 4:30Speaker 4: The whole point of this trip is just to come
- 4:33Speaker 4: over there, spend some time with my husband, be in
- 4:36Speaker 4: a different culture, and maybe have a pint. I don't know.
- 4:40Speaker 5: It's interesting because it's not what your husband, Raymond, told me.
- 4:43Speaker 5: He thought you'd be popping over and be in the
- 4:45Speaker 5: epicenter of Downton Abbey.
- 4:47Speaker 1: So maybe there's a bit of a miscommunication.
- 4:49Speaker 3: How do you know my husband's name?
- 4:50Speaker 5: I know because it's a dumb prank phone call from
- 4:52Speaker 5: a lowly American radio station.
- 4:55Speaker 1: It's a ball. There you go. Sherlock Holmes mystery solved.
- 4:59Speaker 1: It's a prank. Oh my God. And my real name
- 5:02Speaker 1: is Jeff from a show called Brooke and Jeffrey in
- 5:04Speaker 1: the morning.
- 5:05Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
- 5:05Speaker 4: What?
- 5:07Speaker 1: Your husband Raymond set you up. Oh, my God. Raymond
- 5:14Speaker 1: emailed us and he said that you two are planning
- 5:16Speaker 1: a romantic getaway to London and he wanted us to
- 5:19Speaker 1: mess with you. I decided to use my absolute worst
- 5:22Speaker 1: British accent for it. So I do apologize.
- 5:24Speaker 3: It was bad.
- 5:27Speaker 2: Bad?
- 5:28Speaker 1: I think the.
- 5:28Speaker 5: Word you're looking for, love, is rubbish. The accent's a
- 5:33Speaker 5: bloody war crime.
- 5:34Speaker 1: Isn't it? Broken Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s.