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Can We Love Our Kids AND Still Want Our Own Identity? · The Keri Croft Show

• 0:00
  Keri Croft: Hey there, you beautiful badass.
• 0:02
  Keri Croft: Badass.
• 0:05
  Keri Croft: Welcome to the Carrie Croft Show.
• 0:09
  Keri Croft: Wow.
• 0:15
  Keri Croft: Good morning to you and welcome back to the Carrie Croft Show and another solo cast.
• 0:21
  Keri Croft: So I'm over, I'm over stemmed today.
• 0:23
  Keri Croft: I'm gonna just come out and say it.
• 0:26
  Keri Croft: Some mornings, I legitimately feel like by the time 8 a.m.
• 0:32
  Keri Croft: rolls around and I drop Dane off at school, I'm like, oh my god, like it's wild.
• 0:39
  Keri Croft: It is wild out there with young kids.
• 0:42
  Keri Croft: I love it so much.
• 0:45
  Keri Croft: Nobody in this world, well, I'm not gonna say nobody in this world, but I would um uh task you to find someone who worked as hard as I did to have this family.
• 0:55
  Keri Croft: I am so grateful for every single waking moment with them.
• 1:02
  Keri Croft: And and I'm overstimulated sometimes.
• 1:08
  Keri Croft: And this morning was one of those times where I was like, why, why?
• 1:12
  Keri Croft: Like, why am I so why do I feel like this?
• 1:16
  Keri Croft: Like it's like I like my nerves are frayed.
• 1:19
  Keri Croft: And it's because like you're trying to get up at four o'clock in the morning to work out and then get enough, you know, get it done before the first kid wakes up and needs you.
• 1:30
  Keri Croft: And then the second kid's up, gets up and needs you.
• 1:33
  Keri Croft: And then you're trying.
• 1:34
  Keri Croft: I find myself trying on days where I have to look um, you know, halfway decent, like not hammered shit, like dirtbag, like I like to walk around looking like.
• 1:44
  Keri Croft: If I have to look halfway decent, then I'm still fighting the good fight, trying to put makeup on while Kyle's trying to also use my eyelash curler and I'm trying to like humor her and not be so about the task that I'm not letting her little mind, you know, play makeup with mom and then Dane wants chicken nuggets and you know, all the things.
• 2:05
  Keri Croft: It's like there's nothing new about it.
• 2:07
  Keri Croft: It's an old story.
• 2:08
  Keri Croft: It's like the juggling act of a lot of times the woman.
• 2:12
  Keri Croft: And uh again, ever so grateful.
• 2:15
  Keri Croft: But is it okay every once in a while just to be like, oh, oh, I just dropped you off at school and I feel like I just fought the good fight, and now I gotta go to work, and now I gotta fight the good fight here, and then I gotta go home and I gotta fight the good fight again.
• 2:30
  Keri Croft: And then you wonder why you're fucking exhausted.
• 2:34
  Keri Croft: So, anyways, another thing, too, before I get into this topic, another reason why I'm a little bit um, I have a couple things like screen time is on my mind a lot.
• 2:43
  Keri Croft: And then also these e-bikes, these e-scooters have been really bugging me lately.
• 2:49
  Keri Croft: And I don't know if like someone needs to clue me in on what's going on.
• 2:55
  Keri Croft: But I will tell you, like, since the weather's gotten warm, and I I mean, this isn't the first time I've seen this.
• 2:59
  Keri Croft: I've seen this now for several years.
• 3:01
  Keri Croft: And I get it, they're fun and they go faster and they're more efficient.
• 3:06
  Keri Croft: It's like the way of the world, et cetera.
• 3:09
  Keri Croft: But I need to say this out loud as a parent or just as a concerned citizen in the UA bubble.
• 3:16
  Keri Croft: I have seen several kids rolling up Brandon Road, and I mean rolling.
• 3:23
  Keri Croft: I don't know how fast these fuckers go, but the the one kid was like, I don't even think he had a helmet on, and he was watching.
• 3:30
  Keri Croft: I mean, we're talking like tentative, like this.
• 3:32
  Keri Croft: He was his attention.
• 3:34
  Keri Croft: He is on a scooter watching his phone, just ripping up Brandon Road.
• 3:40
  Keri Croft: And so I guess as a parent, as a human being with common sense, it's not clocking to me.
• 3:50
  Keri Croft: It's not clocking.
• 3:52
  Keri Croft: But again, I don't know if I just need to get with the times or if it's like, oh, Johnny's got one and Ashton's got one, and oh, we have to like buy our kids the you know, the scooters because this kid has one.
• 4:06
  Keri Croft: Hello?
• 4:08
  Keri Croft: Hi, honey, what's up?
• 4:12
  Keri Croft: That was nice of you.
• 4:18
  Keri Croft: I'm on I'm doing a solo cast right now, so you're on you're on video.
• 4:22
  Keri Croft: Yeah.
• 4:23
  Keri Croft: No, that's fine.
• 4:25
  Keri Croft: Are you still there?
• 4:29
  Keri Croft: Okay.
• 4:31
  Keri Croft: So I'm not trying to like, you know, ruffle any feathers, but instinctually, when I see these kids ripping up Northam, ripping up Brandon Road, it something goes off my my spidey senses, my mom instincts, just my concerned citizen instincts, especially when they are on their phones.
• 4:56
  Keri Croft: So help me with this.
• 4:58
  Keri Croft: Like, help me understand is this safe?
• 5:02
  Keri Croft: Am I completely out of my mind?
• 5:06
  Keri Croft: Anyway, I don't want to derail too long, but I just I needed to say that out loud.
• 5:11
  Keri Croft: Okay, that's my soapbox on the e-scooter situation.
• 5:15
  Keri Croft: And I'm also having a little um, you know, angst about the screen time.
• 5:21
  Keri Croft: That is for another day.
• 5:24
  Keri Croft: So today's solo cast, um, speaking of parenting and momming and juggling and you know, being overstimulated, I can't help but notice a lot of the stuff um right now swirling around.
• 5:38
  Keri Croft: Emma greed.
• 5:39
  Keri Croft: And, you know, I'm just seeing a lot of things about women empowerment and the shifting dynamic of the role in the home and the opportunities that women have today that they didn't have.
• 5:53
  Keri Croft: Um, you know, even our moms, you know, it's like it was unheard of to have a career and to have your own money and to be able to like call out what you really truly authentically want in life.
• 6:04
  Keri Croft: And so I have some thoughts on it.
• 6:07
  Keri Croft: And I know that Emma Greed is like, I think she's fantastic.
• 6:10
  Keri Croft: Do I have to agree with every single thing she says?
• 6:14
  Keri Croft: No.
• 6:14
  Keri Croft: But I think a lot of times what happens is someone like Emma shows up on the spot and you see her everywhere and you hear the sound bites and the things that she's saying, and you know, you get triggered.
• 6:26
  Keri Croft: So, wherever whatever space you're in in life, that will determine how you receive her message.
• 6:33
  Keri Croft: And so, one of the things that she said that I found so just superb, not necessarily because I agree with exactly what she's saying, but it's the idea, it's like, let's elevate and look at really like wow, like we're having these conversations right now about women.
• 6:50
  Keri Croft: And I'm excited about that.
• 6:52
  Keri Croft: I'm excited about the idea that it's becoming more of the norm for a female to go out and make money and have an identity outside of being a mom.
• 7:05
  Keri Croft: And yeah, I wanted to be a mom.
• 7:08
  Keri Croft: I love being a mom.
• 7:10
  Keri Croft: I fought really, really hard, really hard to be a mom.
• 7:14
  Keri Croft: And I also want to have a separate identity other than being a mom.
• 7:22
  Keri Croft: And hear me out.
• 7:23
  Keri Croft: It's not just because, it's not just selfish, like, oh, well, I just, you know, I also want to be Carrie and I also want to, you know, have this and that.
• 7:31
  Keri Croft: I want to show my kids, you know, our job is to show our children through modeling, through what we are doing and through how we are walking through the world.
• 7:44
  Keri Croft: We are showing them what's possible.
• 7:47
  Keri Croft: And I know that, I know that so clearly watching my dad.
• 7:54
  Keri Croft: You know, my mom and dad were divorced when I was very, very young.
• 7:58
  Keri Croft: I was probably six or seven.
• 8:00
  Keri Croft: And so my dad ended up getting um a job at a plant, an automotive plant.
• 8:07
  Keri Croft: And he had the work ethic, the people skills, a little bit of luck, all the things wrapped up in his favor to like take his career off.
• 8:18
  Keri Croft: And he worked his ass off.
• 8:20
  Keri Croft: And it's not about like working your ass off necessarily.
• 8:22
  Keri Croft: I think though, but with my dad, like him not being physically present all the time in my life.
• 8:28
  Keri Croft: However, his influence for me is the strongest of any influence I've had in my life because he, by what he did, by how he walked through the world, he showed me what is possible.
• 8:45
  Keri Croft: For me, looking back, it's the greatest thing he could have ever, the greatest gift he could have given me.
• 8:51
  Keri Croft: And so looking at Emma Greed and not just Emma, but all these women today who are breaking the norm, who are, who are out there with a career and making money and making the moves, you know, you can't do all things all the time.
• 9:07
  Keri Croft: And so one of the things that Emma said really got a lot of controversy, and it was around how, you know, she's I think it's like she spends an hour on the weekends, like three hours max with her kids.
• 9:17
  Keri Croft: And she may have said something like she spends 20 minutes a day during the week.
• 9:22
  Keri Croft: Well, okay, you want to jump on that and judge her.
• 9:25
  Keri Croft: And I'm excited about it.
• 9:26
  Keri Croft: And I think it does, it it really does bring up this idea and this question around the modern family, which looks so many different ways today, right?
• 9:36
  Keri Croft: But today we're talking about, you know, the female playing either the main role of the breadwinner or, you know, an equal breadwinner in the household.
• 9:47
  Keri Croft: And so when you look at it that way, all these traditional preconceived ideas that you have about a woman's role in the home, that is game over.
• 9:58
  Keri Croft: I like the conversation around dividing up the house, dividing up the things that have to happen to run the house.
• 10:05
  Keri Croft: Because again, and I always say this about stay-at-home parents.
• 10:09
  Keri Croft: They are CEOs of the house, and it is a huge job.
• 10:12
  Keri Croft: It's the most important job.
• 10:13
  Keri Croft: And I feel that thoroughly in my heart.
• 10:16
  Keri Croft: And so I feel like, you know, when you hear me say all this, I don't want to have the stay-at-home parents feel slighted because you are doing like truly God's work.
• 10:26
  Keri Croft: I mean, I it is the craziest, most wild job in the world.
• 10:30
  Keri Croft: But the point I'm making is there is inventory to be moved in the house.
• 10:35
  Keri Croft: There is HR that you're dealing with every day, with the children, uh, the partner, there's accounting with the finances, there is maintenance and operations with everything that goes on with the house, um, whether it's a shower is, you know, broken or something with the landscaping.
• 10:54
  Keri Croft: I mean, there's there isn't a complete operation that has to be run within the house.
• 10:59
  Keri Croft: So when you have a household where the female is not in the traditional role where she can stay there all day and handle that operation, well, then you guys have to divide and conquer.
• 11:13
  Keri Croft: And the way that it looked in the 60s and the 50s, if you had a stay-at-home mom, and the way it looks today is completely different.
• 11:21
  Keri Croft: So I don't know.
• 11:22
  Keri Croft: I'm just really I'm fascinated by it.
• 11:25
  Keri Croft: I'm so excited about it.
• 11:27
  Keri Croft: And I just think, as women, regardless of whether you're in a phase of life right now where you are staying at home and you are the CEO of the house, whether you are just kind of thinking about hatching something and like really wanting to step out on your own and you're a little bit nervous, or if you're out there bawling out, you know, I think we need to support each other and to support the conversation and the idea of how exciting this is right now that we're having these types of conversations and that women are in the hunt, they're in the game, and they are owning their financial freedom, they're owning their identity, they're owning their place in the world along with being a mom.
• 12:06
  Keri Croft: They're doing this and they are a mom.
• 12:09
  Keri Croft: That was my rant for whoever needs to hear it today.
• 12:12
  Keri Croft: And until next time, keep moving, baby.