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Mojo Monday: A Simple Zen Koan with a Big Life Lesson · Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor

• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Hi everyone, Culy Taylor here and welcome to Mojo Monday. Today,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: I want to share with you a zen Cohen and
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: it's one that I heard recently by a lecture that
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: I was listening to by a Japanese psychologist. And if
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: you haven't heard of a zen coin, it's a short,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: often kind of puzzling phrase or question that isn't meant
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: to be solved like a riddle. It's something that you
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: kind of need to just sit with. And Cohen's a
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: designed to move us beyond our usual black and white
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: thinking and into more deeper reflection if we allow ourselves
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: the time to do that. They don't necessarily give us answers,
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: but instead a Cohen will help us become more comfortable
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: with ambiguity and open up sort of insight about life,
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: ourselves and our true nature. But the particular con that
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: I have chosen today is actually quite simple, now that
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: I've said all that, and this is it. Willows are green,
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: flowers are red. That's it. So it's a very simple statement.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: And you might be thinking right now, so what, But
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: stay with me on this because it's in its simplicity
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: there's something a lot deeper. And I actually really really
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: love this. So often we move through life wishing things
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: were different. We try and fix and control and improve
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: and change. We judge how we feel. I often hear
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: clients say I shouldn't be feeling like this. You know,
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: my life is great. But that's resistance, and that's the
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: struggle that we often have. You know, we wish we
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: were more confident, or more calm, or less less anxious,
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: more successful. We wish other people wouldn't be the way
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: they are, you know, that they'd agree with our views,
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: particularly political views right now, which is causing a lot
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: of divide with people. You know, we wish people would
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: call us more often, or they'd complain less. Whatever it is.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: But I'll read the con to you again. Willows are green,
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: flowers are red, So the willow can't be anything but
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: green right now, and the flower is simply red. And
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: if they wanted to be different colors, they couldn't. So
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: what if just for a moment, we stopped resisting, We
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: stopped resisting reality. What if even when we're anxious or
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: sad or frustrated, we allowed those feelings to be there.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: What this does is really challenges our Western mindset, where
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: we focus so often on fixing and controlling, and that's
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: when we struggle because our emotions are inevitable. But what
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: if there was no fixing, so there was no judgment
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: and no commentary about our emotions or our thoughts or
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: other people just this is how it is. So that's
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: the invitation here today is to meet the moment, the feeling,
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: the person in front of you just as they are.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: And this doesn't mean that we agree with every opinion
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: of other people, or we like everything that's happening, or
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: we like what we're feeling. It's not passive, and it
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: doesn't mean we're giving up. It just means that we're
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: really clear, this is what is here right now. So
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: Shima Marisa, the Japanese psychologists who was around the time
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: of Freud in the nineteen twenties, he spoke about the
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: gap between reality and how we want things to be.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: So when we stop arguing with reality, we stop focusing
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: on the shoulds and the shouldn'ts, then that gap can
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: become smaller and we create kind of a space, a
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: space to a space to breathe. For starters, it kind
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: of gives this reprieve from the struggle, but it's also
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: a space to respond from wisdom rather than reactivity, and
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: a space to really choose your path. And that's what
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: mental fitness. This is really a part of being mentally fit.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: So not pushing away difficult thoughts or emotions, but letting
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: them be a part of your present experience. So today
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: or this week, let that coen just sit with you.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: If something challenging shows up, maybe you feel flat or
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: overwhel or you're behind in work or UNI, or maybe
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: somebody said something that hurts you, just say to yourself,
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: willows are green, flowers are red. This is what's here
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: right now, and then you can ask yourself what can
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: I do with what is This is the action part
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: of this. So when we can be fully present, make
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: room for all that's there without pushing it away or
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: needing it to be different, then we gain clarity. We
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: grain space to see what really matters, and then from
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: that place the next step becomes clear. So that's living
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: with purpose. So thank you so much for listening to
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: Mojo Monday this week. I hope you carry this little
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: zen moment with you through the week. I know I
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: will already have. I've asked myself for I've said that
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: phrase quite a few times willows are green, flowers are red,
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: just to help me get really present and stop resisting
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: what is. So I hope you all have a great
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: week and I will catch you next week. See you